>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. with popchips, who are looking for a vice president to assist their president of pop culture,

ashton kutcher. >> that's right jimmy, and i am the campaign manager. >> jimmy: you are? >> i are! >> this is too much pop culture out there. >> yes. too much popping. >> that's what i just said. i got to find somebody to help me out. i need a vice president of pop culture. and popchips is going to front $50,000 for the job. >> we need someone who is pop culture. >> yo. heard you guys are looking for a vp -- >> oh, the black mamba. >> i'll tell you what pops. popcorn. pop rocks. popchips and popping and locking. >> you know, i know someone who needs a job. here we are. mel gibson's house. >> wait for me.

>> he loves mexicans. >> i hope so. >> what do you think, guillermo? >> he has dogs. they're not chihuahuas, my friend. >> we'll find somebody. >> we'll find someone. >> dicky: to enter, go to facebook.com/popchips and send a video explaining why you're the perfect candidate for vp. >> jimmy: beautifully done, guillermo. "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with eric stonestreet of "modern family," music from minutes with eric stonestreet of "modern family," music from black dub and jeremy renner. and turn ard lights. or better yet, get a car that automatically does it for you. ♪ right now, lease the all-new jetta s for just $179 a month. ♪ it whitens and i bet your breath will still feel fresh after the movie. [ female announcer ] crest extra white plus scope outlast

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♪ trident vitality. with inspired ingredients, like white tea, vitamin c d ginseng. ♪ >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- oscar nominee jeremy renner. from "modern family," eric stonestreet. and music from black dub. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, don't argue. here's jimmy kimmel!

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for attending. i also want to thank -- i got a lot of chocolate yesterday from strangers, from people i -- i got too much -- i like chocolate but i don't, you know, i don't like the -- i don't like the assortments. nothing against russell stover, i'm sure he was a wonderful man or woman or whatever. but i don't like being surprised when i biting into something. i like to know what it is before i put it in my mouth. does anyone like the surprise of the stover thing? otherwise you'd wear a blindfold to dinner, right? you'd wrap your head up in duct

tape and go across the street to mel's diner and enjoy. chocolate was not meant to disguise, i think, at least. whitman puts a little guide on his sampler, you know? just a -- [ applause ] that's how you know you're fat. you wonder about things like this. president obama gave his first press conference of the year this morning to discuss his budget proposal for 2012, which probably won't get much support in congress since they still haven't passed the budget for 2011. though to be fair they've been busy posting shirtless photos of themselves on craigslist. for the most part, the speech was pretty dry, budget, egypt, et cetera, except for when the president accidentally used a four-letter word. >> as a start, it freezes domestic discretionary spending, which would cut the deficit by $400 billion over the next decade and bring annual domestic

spending to its lowest share of the economy. >> jimmy: give the man a break. he just quit smoking. i like the new press pool. they're fun. you know, i sit in my office all day, watch a lot of cable news and i guess i enjoy it. there's a lot of people arguing and no one ever seems to be able to convince anyone of anything. just once, i would like to see somebody go, you know what, chris, you're right, you changed my mind. but it will probably never happen. there's a new show on cnn, i won't say they're more receptive to a variety of opinions but at least they're honest about what the show really is. >> coming to cnn a come peopling political debate show where nobody is allowed to speak. >> so, let me finish. let me finish. may i finish my point? >> let me finish. >> so many -- >> let me finish a sentence, i can tell you where the money

went. >> experts have a lot to say, but never say it. >> let me finish my question. >> let me finish. >> because you -- >> let me finish. >> will you let me finish? wednesdays at 9:00 -- >> answer my question. >> damn it! will you let me finish? wednesdays at 9:00 on cnn. >> let me finish. >> jimmy: it's like every dinner with my family. [ applause ] they need to get larry king back and soon. this is interesting. a new book coming out that tells the story of the chilean miners who were rescued last year. book was written by a reporter from "the new york times." he claims the miners requested inflatable sex domes while they were underground. and the psychologist in charge denied the request because he believed sharing a sex doll could possibly lead to jealousy and fights. kind of like "the bachelor," only the sex doll has more personality. [ applause ]

guys, we've only got a limited of fresh air. let's use some of that to blow up this sex doll. when you're stuck underground for that long, isn't everything a sex doll? cantaloupe is a sex doll. at one point, they thought about throwing snooki down there for an hour but the schedules didn't work out. the book says they smoked pot in the mine. family members smuggled marijuana in in letters, which i guess makes sense. they were kind of living inside the world's largest bong, you know? it's funny that it took so long for the story to come out because when you look back at the rescue footage now, it -- it seems kind of -- it seems very obvious to me, at least. especially when this guy came out. when he came out of the mine eating door ree toes, that's when i knew something was up. there's a new interview in "gq"

magazine with billy ray cyrus who is worried about his daughter. he said there's no doubt that his family is under attack by satan. looks like miley isn't the only one in the family smoking salvia. i think that mullet tonic is starting to sweeep into his bra. it's refreshing to see a celebrity blame the devil for his problems. it doesn't happen enough. but today, the devil held a press conference and lashed back. >> look, billy ray and i had a deal. i give him one hit song and he delivers the soul of his child. don't blame me, dude. i mean, did you seriously think that someone would like this song? ♪ don't tell my heart ♪ my achy breaky heart ♪ i just don't think you'd understand ♪ >> it is kind of catchy. >> jimmy: and now, off to dinner with the black eyed peas.

here's something else that can only be the work of the devil. clee wee kardashian and lamar odom have a new fragrance. unisex. it's called unbreakable. ron artest got ahold of some of this unbreakable during his post-game interview last night. tough loss for the lakers to charlotte. but ron was able to remain squarely focused on the new perfume. >> lamar's -- >> is it any good? >> smells great. >> like what? when did this game get away? in the first half, you seemed to have it and you were competitive in the second half, you weren't. what happened? >> you want to try some unbreakable? >> jimmy: see, now that's a product pitchman right there. [ applause ] we managed to get a bottle of this unbreakable ourselves and i was wondering if it is indeed unbreakable.

so we've positioned our parking lot security guard guillermo on the roof. now, guillermo -- you've got -- let's see the unbreakable there. tell us what it says on the bottle. >> unbreakable. >> jimmy: okay. so, it should be unbreakable, right? >> i think so, jimmy. >> jimmy: okay. and what are you going to do with the bottle? >> i'm going to throw it off the roof. >> jimmy: okay. onto the street. and this way we'll find out if it is what it says it is, right? let's get a drum roll or something here ready? make sure there's nobody under there, okay? >> okay. >> jimmy: all right and release the unbreakable. here we go. maybe we should try to find it there. what happened? it bounced back up to the roof? it's on the ledge, guillermo. >> it's unbreakable.

>> jimmy: what happened? >> it's unbreakable. >> jimmy: wait a minute. that's the only bottle we had, too. you got to climb down there and get it. >> no way. i want to find out if you're bounceable. oh, guillermo -- all right, get back down here, will you? >> okay. >> jimmy: thank you, guillermo. [ applause ] maybe we'll try it again tomorrow. we only have one bottle. it's very rare, apparently. the annual west mincer kennel club show is taking place in new york right now. this is the biggest event of the year for the canine world. in fact, it's the only event of the year for the canine world. it's like christmas morning for people who love staring at perfectly groomed dog testicles. i really don't understand it. first of all, the dogs are being

object if ied. they are parading them around like they're a bunch of human women. that's not right. this is from last year. now, you can see -- [ laughter ] part of the preparation -- this is -- what they're doing here is firing the dogs up before they perfo perform. this is how i get ready for my show, too. you see, it's not just -- get a kennel, you two. it's a weird event. it really is. it's -- you can love your dog too much. the dogs are judged in a number of categories. they're not able to put all the categories on the televised portion of the show. we thought it would be fun to give one of the smaller categories some television time. and now, the winners, by category, for best butt drag of 2011. in the herding group, maggie. in the hound group, that's this nitsle.

in the toy group, we have daisy. in the sports group, that's zeus. and our overall best in show, scooter. appropriately named. [ applause ] isn't that just perfect? and all the little puppies out there, keep dreaming. one day, you, too, can drag your furry bottom across the floor. they are thinking of adding that to miss universe this year. speaking of things that like to hump each other, last night on "the bachelor," first of all, they got rid of michelle, who appeared to be crazy. the way she left -- i wouldn't be surprised if next week she comes back to kill them all, right? this is a very successful show but if there's one thing that diddy has taught us, it's that it's good to change your name every once in awhile. we did this last week and, lo and behold, they gave us enough material to do it again.

it's going to be known from now on as "so like amazing." >> so. >> like. >> amazing. >> so. >> like. >> amazing. >> "so like amazing." only on abc. >> jimmy: isn't that, like, so, like, amazing? and one more thing. our receptionist here at the show, in our office, is a young lady named angela. she's very festive. she dresses up for christmas, st. patrick's day, for holidays that don't exist. you name it, she celebrates it. yesterday, she was all dressed up for valentine's day, red and pink on. and apparently she was going nuts every time a flower delivery came in. someone thought it would be a good idea to send a whole bunch of flowers to her over and over again from a secret admirer just to see how she would react.

and here's how that went. >> hello. delivery for angela. >> what? no way. >> yes. >> for me? >> yes. >> there's no way. >> yes, and please sign it. >> are you serious? >> here's a pen. >> from who? >> thank you very much. enjoy. >> thank you. it says, angela, i love you forever your valentine. >> that's sweet. >> it's not sweet, it's creepy. there's no name. >> hello? >> are you angela? >> shut the heck up. i'm angela. >> okay. >> this is a mistake. i don't know -- this is craziness. >> see who it's from. >> oh, it's so pretty. >> this came from downstairs for you. >> what? shut the heck up. are you kidding me right now? like the twilight zone. i'm kind of confused.

love -- shut the -- are you kidding me? what is going on right now? oh, my god. look at this one. i'm going to eat this tonight in my bed. that's going to be my date. this is -- >> it's huge. >> too many boys that i'm trying to think of right now. i've been on too many dates in the last year. good afternoon, "jimmy kimmel live." these were in the truck. and i'm supposed to do this. >> oh, what the hell? oh, my god. are you kidding me? you're a delivery person. this is my desk. this is love, i don't want it anymore. no! >> i hope you're hungry. >> what? are you serious? >> hey.

>> oh my god. >> happy valentine's day angela, and -- >> oh, my god. oh, my god. >> i'm good, i'm good. oh my god. >> jimmy: happy valentine's day angela. th never change, angela. now go back to work. we have a good show tonight. from "modern family," eric stonestreet is with us. we have music from black dub. and we'll be right back with or for a nominee jeremy renner, so come back.

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>> jimmy: well, hi there, welcome back. tonight on the show, from our beloved program here on abc, "modern family," a gentleman who is gay on the show, but tonight i think his plan is not to be gave. eric stonestreet is here. then later, a man whose name you know from the back of albums by bob dylan, neil young, peter gabriel, brandon flowers, and "the joshua tree" by u2. a great producer who now has his own album. it's called "black dub," and so is his band. black dub is here. tomorrow night, on the show, oscar nominee javier bardem, music from stone sour, and we're going to fry chicken with flavor flav. that's right. won't give us the recipe, though. he's keeping the recipe very

secret. he would not send it to us in advance so we're going to experience it for the first time. he's like the colonel. he's got a secret blend of herbs and spices and -- we better check those herbs to make sure they're legal. our first guest tonight is a terrific actor. last year, he was nominated for an iowa cadmy award for his work. this year, he was nominated again for the excellent movie "the town." it is available now on dvd and blu-ray. please say hello to jeremy renner. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, i feel -- you made me feel very smart. i predicted that you would get nominated for an academy award this year and last year i predicted that you would get nominated for "hurt locker." and both of those predictions came true. >> yes. >> jimmy: miraculous.

>> thank you. >> jimmy: my pleasure. >> so who is going to win? >> jimmy: who is going to win? hmm. i'll have to look into my christian ball, i mean my -- you know, you were fantastic in both movies and you're going to be nominated, i think, a whole bunch of times. so -- [ applause ] this year, maybe, maybe next year, best actor. who knows where you might go with this thing. best director. >> so so. >> jimmy: ben affleck directed the movie, co-starred in the movie and wrote the movie. did not get nominated for any of those things. >> what are you trying to say? >> jimmy: well -- what did you say to him, i mean, what were your -- what, like, how do you handle that? this is a guy, you know, you just came on at the last minute,

said -- >> they, look what happens to me. he did all that work. it is because of him the movie turned out to tremendous and i had even an opportunity to try to succeed in a role. >> jimmy: i don't want this to get ugly but i want to know what's going on here. i want to know what's going on here. just wonder what you think gives you the right to just go around doing that. >> he's my partner in crime. >> jimmy: you know it won't last, you know. all of a sudden he won't be returning your texts anymore and he won't call you back. that's the way he is. >> is that your experience? >> jimmy: you're the flavor of the month, pal! hey, who are you taking to the oscars? i am taking my mother again. >> jimmy: last year you took your mother. oh, you don't think he should take her? but wait a minute, though.

last year you didn't win, you brought your mother. maybe she's bad luck. have you considered also that when you take her to the first one, i think that's fine. you take her to the second one, now she's going to want to come to the third one and fourth one and fifth and so on. >> i'd be happy to. >> jimmy: you would be happy to? i love >> i love my mom, come on. love you, mom. yeah. >> jimmy: all right. well, you know -- is she good with, like, the red carpet and -- >> she's great with it now. when it came to hanging out afterwards, remember, i was going to come over if i won, which, you know, i didn't. well, i did win, but -- just didn't win. >> jimmy: i would like you to come right into our theater for the post-show. that would be nice. >> but it was -- i had to keep up with my mom. she's irish and so s, she's lik where are we going?

>> jimmy: it's not one of those deals -- >> mom, we should go home. come on, let's go. she took me along. it was a lot of fun. >> jimmy: i know you turned 40 last month. happy birthday. >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: how does that work? >> it was a good party. you didn't come to the party. i'm not telling you anything about it. >> jimmy: i had a good excuse for not coming. >> what, the rash again? the rash. him and the rash. >> jimmy: i ointmented that right off. did your family come to that par party? >> yeah, we had a lot of family and then i had a lot of friends that i've worked with and -- you know, it was a big party and now -- >> jimmy: scarlett johansson was there. charlize theron. >> if you would have come, you would have -- anyway, so i was slightly nervous because i was turning 40 and then i had some families, cousins and aunts and

uncles that aren't used to being around famous people. i was afraid, the only thing i was afraid of, mixing that, some might drink too much and do something very terrible and none of that happened but i did something terrible, but i can't say. >> jimmy: uncle dion starts smacking charlize theron on the ass? >> it didn't happen. >> jimmy: you were the only one -- i heard christina aguilera wound up sleeping in your room? >> no, no, she was hanging out. she was -- like everybody else was, just hanging out. >> jimmy: is that right? >> very relaxed, chill. >> jimmy: she wasn't -- >> we were eating cookies and milk. >> jimmy: what flavor cookies were there? >> i didn't get that close. >> jimmy: milk, too, that's nice. did people bring you gifts? >> well, yeah, i asked people

really not to bring me gifts but i'm finding things in random drawers. i found a bottle of champagne in my sock drawer. >> jimmy: did you find christina in your room anywhere? yes, no? >> trapped in the closet. >> jimmy: what family members, give a couple of shoutouts. who came to the party? >> my mom, my dad, my sisters were both there. and -- >> jimmy: just the immediate family? >> i had some cousins and aunts and uncles that were there that all equally are tremendous. >> jimmy: what about moving out to hollywood? that was a big deal for you. was it a big deal for them when you did this? >> yeah, yeah. nobody in my family is in the industry or even an artist so they were kind of freaked out about it. i took my sister down, the first time i was looking for an apartment, this was before cell

phones -- >> jimmy: what year was this? >> 1992, i believe. when "unforgiven" was in the theater. i was driving down just to check out hollywood and see what it's about and maybe look for an apartment. i'm with my sister and a good friend of mine, we see "unforgiven." we come out, and that was cool and then we're on hollywood boulevard. this is really great. and then there was a drive-by shooting that happened. the guy shot some guy out of this club, jumped in the back of the car and took off. we started driving after him, like that's a good idea. but i thought it was a good idea. we get pulled over by the cops. and those guys get pulled over and the whole thing ensus and then, lots of guns were drawn. welcome to hollywood. >> jimmy: they got the guy? wow. you should try to do something like that at the oscars, you

know, like, stop a crime of some kind. >> pull a gun on somebody? >> jimmy: a crime against fashion. so, for those who haven't seen "the town," it's great. you and ben affleck play old buddies who are also bank robbers. i don't want to ruin it. maybe i ought to leave it to you to set this up. >> set what up? that we all die? >> jimmy: wait a minute. well, no, the clip that we have -- >> yeah, this is a scene with ben and i, i believe, and we're talking to each other and we're doing some acting. you always do this to me. >> jimmy: just like they do in hollywood. and here's a clip from "the town." >> feds have me dropping it right here. >> i didn't ask you to do that. >> yeah, well you didn't have to tell me. come on. they told me he was coming down here to roll up on you with a glock 21. so, i came over here and i put him in the ground. did nine years for it. you don't got to thank me but

you're not walking away. >> jimmy: there you go. it's called "the town." jeremy renner, everybody. look for him with his mom at the academy awards. good to see you. we'll be right back with eric stonestreet. [ bicycle bell rings ] [ ostrich squawks ] whoa. [ woman screams ] oh no... she's chewing stride spark! abort! abort! [ growls ] [ screams ] [ male announcer ] new stride spark. flavor you can feel. oomph you can taste. [ marketer ] get the ram! [ male announcer ] new stride spark™. the ridiculously long lasting gum®. with flavor you can feel. i really didn't see it coming. i didn't realize i was drifting into the other lane. [ kim ] i was literally falling asleep at the wheel. it got my attention, telling me that i wasn't paying attention.

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>> jimmy: well, hello there. still to come, we have music from black dub. our next guest is an exceptionally funny guy on an exceptionally funny show. watch "modern family" on abc, wednesday nights at 9:0o pm. please welcome emmy winner and party clown eric stonestreet. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's good to see you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how is everything? >> hello. first off, kansas state wildcats took down the kansas jayhawks two nights ago. >> jimmy: they did. yeah. wasn't that last night or two nights ago? >> i can't remember. >> jimmy: who knows what's going on. >> it was last night. >> jimmy: you were here with your cast mates last time. this is your first solo venture.

>> finally. yeah, this is awesome. happy to be here. >> jimmy: good to have you here. >> what? >> jimmy: you've been in the audience before. >> i have been in the audience. this is not my first time here. i'm a fan of talk shows and i brought a friend here a few years ago. sat right where you are right there. yeah that's where i sat. >> jimmy: where that guy is? >> you serve that seat well. >> jimmy: you could be the next sitcom star. i like that you're a fan of talk shows rather than specifically identifying this one. i'm a fan of the genre. >> i could only get tickets to this one. >> jimmy: all right. what are the differences? do you feel -- well, the view is different. if you're -- >> yeah, you know, sitting there, what you realize, or what at least i always think of is, what the celebrity, if you will, and the co-host are, like, talking about at the commercial breaks. i always think, like, you know, i bet they're talking about going to the mansion and having, like, a 96-ounce kobe steak.

you have to get there first of it will all be gone and you and i could be talking about that. >> jimmy: we probably will. meat-related almost certainly. >> of course. but there is always so much, like, pressure. i -- today, i thought about what i was going to wear for, like, three hours. >> jimmy: did you really? >> yeah. i almost wore a cowboy hat. i thought, you know, actors are cool people and i have to do something that's -- >> jimmy: they're not that cool. >> oh. >> jimmy: clint eastwood would get some snickers if i walked out with a hat on. >> i always think of, like, you know, like, what -- how comfortable celebrities seem with other celebrities on talk shows. you're like the perfect guy to talk to about this. >> jimmy: thank you. >> when i'm watching a talk show, i always hear, like, a celebrity say, oh, i was with sam jackson the other night. not samuel l. jackson like the common folk know him as. it's like, i was with chuck

groeden the other day and we were over at candy bergen's house. it's so funny to me. so, now i feel compelled to convey to you all that i'm that comfortable. >> jimmy: you should be. >> to, the other day i was talking to skip, steven spielberg. >> jimmy: skip? >> we were all together having a 96-ounce steak over at the mansion. nobody teaches you, like, what you're supposed to, like, do. >> jimmy: i don't think there's any supposed to do. i think you're doing it perfectly so far. you know, the thing that's an y annoying is when celebrities will bring up other celebrities by first name only and unless that first name is, like, beyonce, we have no idea who they're talking about. >> exactly. that's so true. >> jimmy: like don and i were at the party. >> don? don rickles. >> jimmy: don johnson? could be donna mills for all we know. >> could be don beris. >> jimmy: our warmup guy. >> i'm kidding.

>> jimmy: don osmond. >> and the other thing is how people always think celebrities just hang out together. which, you know, just, sometimes kind of true. >> jimmy: sometimes, yeah. >> it's like funny. you find yourself playing trivial pursuit with matthew perry. it really does happen. >> jimmy: you did come to my house for the super bowl. >> i did. to see your -- >> jimmy: that was quite a summit. >> boy, the food. the food at your place is something else. >> jimmy: you're a fan of food in general. the genre. >> what? come on. i didn't get to look like this by not practicing, you know? >> jimmy: i was just fishing for a compliment. i wasn't making a weight joke. you tweet a lot, i know, i follow you. and you had a weird one, like, about, two weeks ago, i think. >> i was going out for the award shows and you're out and about and i thought i would make it interesting. i tweeted, if anyone comes up to me, says, hey, eric stonestreet,

punch me in the face, i'll give you a signed $20 bill. i thought that was fun. you're risking me punching you in the face and you get 20 bucks. >> jimmy: it's fun to see people paying attention. >> twitter is so fun. addictive. >> jimmy: and then what happened here? >> this beautiful australian girl came up to me and said, hello, would you punch me in the face? and i decked her. >> jimmy: but -- she looks like it's okay. >> it was a $20 punch, you know? it was good. >> jimmy: you had one yesterday, this is your co-star on the show, jesse tyler ferguson. is this a real gift or -- >> he tweeted in the morning that my baby -- he calls me his baby, b -- better give me ballo and a white tedy bear or i'm

breaking up with him. i pretended like i hadn't seen the tweet and had somebody go get this white bear and balloons and bring it if this big fashion to the set and surprise him. >> jimmy: did he like sthit. >> he loved it. there's a lot of pressure, though. there's a girlfriend i have to do valentine's day for, and then i have a fake boyfriend. >> jimmy: a husband, really? >> yeah, it's -- i have to -- >> jimmy: what did he get you. >> not jack crap. >> jimmy: nothing? >> nothing. he didn't get me anything. i'm like, clearly -- >> jimmy: that's outrageous. it's like a real relationship then, in a way. >> totally. it totally is. >> jimmy: one person gets the shaft. >> oh, man. >> jimmy: that's not any good. >> no good. >> jimmy: you guys met, like -- >> we met at the audition but the first time we got together to see, you know, hang out after i got the job, we met and decided to have coffee. and we're at this shop in silver lake, which, it's like a

specific area of town. >> jimmy: hip ster area of town. >> we're sitting there, it dawns on us, we're having our first coffee on valentine's day. we're surrounded by couples. and we're like, aww. i always think about my dad in that perspective. i talk to him on the phone on the way there. i got the job, he goes, what are you doing today? well, i'm going to have coffee with my boyfriend. okay, all right. >> jimmy: all dads fears about hollywood have been confirmed. >> and i'm in my underwear. >> jimmy: where does your dad live? >> in kansas city. my parents live there. heard of it? >> jimmy: i know that your clown is coming back tomorrow night. does that -- does that please you? do you like being the clown? >> i love it so much. another funny story about that, jimmy, is being perceived as famous, i know you can relate to, people talk about you in

front of you, like, in your earshot. so, like, you hear conversations about you. and you're like, women, do i join in on the conversation? do i say something? especially when it's like disinformation. i was at a restaurant and this woman goes, you know, he was a professional rodeo clown. and i'm like -- i guess i can live with people thinking i was a professional rodeo clown. i'm not going to say anything. there's worse things in the world that can be spread about me. >> jimmy: i think rodeo is above birthday party clown. >> for sure, i think -- >> jimmy: all below ringling brothers. >> that's the topper. you're fighting bulls. the great contradiction of, i'm going to put my makeup on and fight a bull. that's pretty bad. >> jimmy: it's great to see you. the show is great this year. if you haven't seen it, you should. "modern family" tomorrow night at 9:00 here on abc.

eric stonestreet. we'll be right back with black dub. [ male announcer ] the average person has 28 first kisses.

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>> jimmy: we are back. eric stonestreet is here.

here with the song "surely," there their self-title album, black dub. ♪ if he refuses i still go on 'til the heaven and earth are gone ♪ ♪ time may rage but rage in vain my designs unchanged remain ♪ ♪ you command ♪ my hand to ride ♪ in the dark hours ♪ ♪ of the night

♪ you'r love is a love ♪ ♪ a love like no other ♪ rings of joy forever follow ♪ surely you were meant to be mine surely you were meant to be mine ♪ ♪ surely you were meant to be mine surely you were meant to be mine ♪ ♪ fortune, fame and ♪ my bravery

♪ cannot convince me to say ♪ if he refuses ♪ ♪ i still go on ♪ ti will the heaven and earth are gone ♪ ♪ fortune favors the brave ♪ ♪ they say ♪ my bravery could not convince me to say ♪ ♪ surely you were meant to be mine surely you were meant to be mine ♪

♪ surely you were meant to be mine surely you were meant to be mine ♪ ♪ surely surely surely yeah ♪ ♪ surely you were meant to be mine ♪ ♪

♪ suddenly, i held you in my hand ♪ ♪ pressed you to my lips ♪ you will understand ♪ when i opened my eyes... ♪ you were gone ♪ i judge you, bestowal you, behead you ♪

♪ zat zat zat! ♪ when i opened my eyes... ♪ we were together again [ applause ] merci. that's why lysol has started a mission for health. with new mom programs, lysol healthy habits initiatives in schools and disaster relief efforts. when you use lysol at home, you'll know you're a part of something bigger. for healthy tips and more, visit lysol.com/missionforhealth. cars that park themselves. an unmanned car driven by a search engine company. we've seen that movie. it ends with robots harvesting our bodies for energy.

[ engine revs ] this is the all new 2011 dodge charger. leader of the human resistance. >> jimmy: well, i want to thank jeremy renner. i want to apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. i want to thank eric stonestreet, with whom we made plenty of time. this is their self-titled album, it is out now. playing us off the air with "last time" once again, black dub! good night. ♪