>> dicky: from hollywood, it's the sixth annual "jimmy kimmel live" after the academy awards. tonight, academy award winner tom hanks. scar lott jo hanson. emily blunt. jess is a ka alba. sofia vergara, jessica bale. eva longoria and many many more in the hotty body hump club with music of cee lo green. ♪ "jimmy kimmel live" ♪ >> dicky: and now, lights camera, action. here is jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: how are you? thank you very much. welcome to the -- our sixth annual after the academy awards special in hollywood. across the street from the oscar on one side. you can say glamour and glitz? colin firth couldn't and he got an oscar for it. it wasn't a sus spenceful oscar this year, except for kirk douglas. was he behind me? he was funny, tormenting the nominees. he waited and waited and waited to name the winner.

it combined the suspense of ryan seacrest with dick clark. it may have been the highlight of the show. colin firth won best act internally portman, best actress. and nicole kidman was upset. hard to tell through the botox. and christian bale in the speech forget his wife's name. he got choked up and emotional because someone moved a light. this is a -- 83rd oscar. this is my favorite oscars after the wieners. they are. and then after tonight, it's back to green lighting big ma mo ma's house. james franco and anne hathaway

did a nice job hosting the show. [ cheers and applause ] this is the first time a man and a woman have hosted the oscar together on stage. once again the hollywood liberals trying to force their heterosexual agenda down our throats. james franco hosted and nominated for "127 hours," a true story of when charlie sheen got stuck under a huge rock of cocaine. now the big winner "the king's speech." and because it was a huge success, they are working on adapting it to appeal to american aud ynsienceaudience. the trailer was released today and we have found a front-runner for next year's oscars. >> we was the most powerful man

in the world but he had one weakness. >> >> >> karen -- >> a mixed messages. >> they say you are the best. >> i don't do that anymore. >> mr. tyson, your country needs you. >> when the people needed a leader, one stupendously loquacious man homed him -- >> be or not to be. >> repeat after me. we are working hard to put on your table. >> you are working hard to put food on your family. >> nuclear power plant. >> nuke-lar power plant.

>> abu ghraib. >> abu ghraib-ab. >> totalitarian. >> in the history of speaking. >> together, they found the strength when it mattered the most. >> this is the state of the union and people will be watching it across the world. >> let's do it. >> member of congress, distinguished guest. i know that human beings and fish can co-exist peacefully. >> tyler perry's, the president's speech. this film is not yet rated. >> jimmy:ly definitely see that. so i had no idea he had been knighted. right now as we speak, the red carpet is rolled up across the

street the lights are taken down and lisa rinne is frozen in carbonite. and the e channel aired six hours of programming. and this gem qualifies as the unintentional joke of the day. >> the girls are going to open their vaults and they are going to pull out of the harry winstons. >> you got get those waxed for a big awards show. for the first time in ten years there were no african-american acts nomg nated. "black swan" was nominated. happy black history month, i

guess. and speaking of "black swan" there are a number of woman on the "black swan" diet the way that natalie portman lost weight. and i'm sticking with the "precious" diet from last year. and usuallied a the end of the week, tradition is, we have a weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blurt things whether with they need it or not. and this week in unnecessary sensorship. >> when i just saw you, [ bleep ] colin, it on the confirmed the bro mance rumor. >> i will off camera giving him a [ bleep ]. >> seven hopefuls move closer to

the idol hopefuls. >> boy, we have stepped in a fresh pile of [ bleep ]. >> [ bleep ]. >> i wo have to say it could not work on the red carpet. >> that don't trump does enjoy [ bleep ]. >> [ bleep ] balls. >> my grandmother's here to. >> i just [ bleep ] marky mark. >> when i saw him, [ bleep ], oh my goodness. i got so excited. because i know i'm going to be sucking that head. >> jimmy: we got a big show for you tonight. tom hanks is here and we will back with the hotty body club. so come on back.

if it can do this, here. and it can do this, here. and it can also do this, here. just imagine what it can do, here.

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hey, would you mind if i ask sheila out? of course not. we broke up 6 months ago. but i don't think she'd go for a guy like -- [ ping! ] she says she'd love to. [ ping! ] she can't wait to see me. [ ping! ] she's wanted me to ask her out for over a year now! [ ping! ] she just sent me a video. [ girl's voice ] hi stephen can't wait for our date! oh, can i see that? aah! [ male announcer ] in the network, sparks fly faster. at&t is getting faster with 4g. rethink possible.

(♪) girls: ladies, time to raise the cuff, i ain't bluffin. show some ank cuz i ain't seen nothing. welcome to the ankle show. just a little peak of leg is how it goes. jeans raised up -- shoes down low. welcome to the ankle show. dj denim: alright... time to show them ankles please. them sexy little things about a foot below your knees. girls: welcome to the ankle show. just a little peak of leg is how it goes hemline high, shoes down low. welcome to the ankle show. vj vo: let your ankles show with new ankle jeans and flirty flats. >> jimmy: welcome back. we are in hollywood. good night to fall asleep with your television on with us this evening. a talented kid. his next movie is called "larry crowne." freshly arrived from the oscars tom hanks is here. very excited. i'm going to need a little

cooperation from the audience. we told him this is where the vanity fair party is. and music from this album, "the lady killer," cee lo green on the bud light stage. and tomorrow night new shows. bill haher. emily blunt and thursday night, the great and powerful howard stern will join us. i want to show you something. this is my body. do you like it? take it in for a moment. all angles. you don't get a body behind a december welcome your pants down. in hollywood beingsome n shape is more important than being alive and this is how we do it. >> who trains the most beautiful actresses in the world? who shapes the bodies of

hollywood's elite there husband proven season? >> i do. i'm jimmy k. let's get to work. ♪ [ laughter ] >> are you the father. >> hi. i'm scarlet johansson. people ask me how do you stay in shape. >> i don't ask. i know. >> he is my fitness guru. jimmy k. >> thanks, there have so many programs out there, pole gliding, tank topping, banging rubber against your head. what you know what they have in common? >> no. >> i will tell you, none of them work out. >> fad diets and workout plans

lead to disappointment and frustration. >> thanks. not anymore. now you can be come a member of the exclusive hottie body club. >> hobo. >> hotdy body combines pilates with lumping to make your cardiovascular system a hearty-io. >> she was so fat she could barry walk. >> and now i feel great and now i weigh less than the average 9-year-old girl. >> thanks. >> i'm jessica biel. and when i started training with jimmy k. i had a mission toch get in shape and be the kind of

woman that jimmy k. wanted in a sex session. >> thanks, jessica. you are on the way. >> i called you twice and i sent a text message. >> hi i'm jessica alba. before i started walking out with jimmy k. i cried a lot. >> i cried a lot too. and what did we do? we turned tears into gears. together, we exer-cried. i train the ladies who fill the big screens in skinny jeans. let me dvd transform your body from flabby abby to ripa kelly. >> yeah! >> oh yeah. >> are you ready to do this? let's get hottie body.

>> enough it's time to shake. ready? lung to the left. lunge to the right. lunge it. plunge it. keep it going, tight. now hump. hump. hump. that is good humping, girls. >> hump it up pump it down. take a train to pumping down. that is good. >> hump. >> i couldn't stop humping. i hump everywhere. at work. in the car. even when i'm humping, i'm humping. >> i'm humping too. thanks, eva. [ laughter ] >> come on, now, get that rump in the hump. >> get in there now. come on.

make it pregnant. >> hi i'm emily. blunt. when jimmy k. first approached me, made me unconscious and brought me to his workout dungeon, i was skeptical. is he behind me? is he wearing what i'm wearing. >> pump the wall. hump the wall. hump it. [ laughter ] >> your body workouts is a loesson. and in the car or to

solidify -- >> gracias. before jimmy showed you the way, how would you describe your body? >> a little doughy. >> she was a hippopotamus. and now, she is hot. no bands no gloves belts, ball weights, benches or stationary bikes. i will help you harness your body's national energy. is zion a rare lion. how does he stay in shape? >>? not with weights of drinks. hi, i'm lindsay lohan. >> tell us about it. >> lions hump up to 40 times a

night. i spent thousands of hours watching them. so i know. ♪ >> own your hotdy body humpilates today. 49.99 slrs. operate rers humping by. >> the program is so affordable. it's practically a steal. >> allegedly. [ laughter ] >> order now. >> thank you ladies. we will be back with tom hanks. ♪ sign up for free to get daily deals

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>> jimmy: hi and welcome back.

still to come cee lo green. our guest is one of two men to win back-to-back best actors. him and steven segal. his next movie is "larry crowne." it opens next summer. please say hello to tom hanks. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> thank you. >> jimmy: i'm already disappointed. >> thank you. my wife and her sister lilly. very nice. >> jimmy: i thought they were here for me. how are you? >> i'm great. thanks for being here.

i was across the street. thank you for blocks out hollywood boulevard to get me here. there are cops with machine guns. >> jimmy: yeah they take it very seriously. you would think that michelle obama is giving birth to a child in the middle of street. >> it's like the super bowl means the nobel peace prize. but i don't think we need cops with machine games. it's our building. strangers come and tell us we can't dmom our buildings. >> they make you roll the windows down in your car. they do hi mr. hank. and go through. like, who is going to be here in with me. >> jimmy: i want you to know i think "toy story 3" was the best movie of the year.

[ cheers and applause ] >> thank you very much. you don't have an applause sign. you have a bald headed guy going like that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he son oscar statuette. and i look at the "king's speech" and i said, someone can do that. and "toy story 3 fts" no one could do that. >> i'm on the board of governors. >> jimmy: did you vote for "toy story 3"? >> yeah it is the best movie of the year. i don't know what happened. i don't know what happened. what is the point if you don't make money out of it and you can't get your movie a trophy. >> jimmy: would think you would be able to govern.

>> someone has sway and it's not me. >> jimmy: you wouldn't have been there if you would won. >> i was on the way here. i was over there eating cheese and bologna. i used to have to stay over there and now i come here. >> jimmy: you can do what you want. you are a two-time academy awards winner. a while back. >> there. that was the first year. and that was the second year. >> jimmy: without the tie. >> i was told in the future, you would wear a banded collar. and it looks like i transported to 2053. >> jimmy: who convinced you not to wear the tie? >> actually i was on the

celebrity meal train, you have to go to england and i wanted the simplicity to not put on a tie so i went to a banded collar. and as you know there are no banded collars left in existence. you know, james bond is not going to wear a banded collar. >> jimmy: but on star trek. >> look at your band. i meant to stay snappy. >> jimmy: where are your trophies? >> i'm are old. when you get them, when you grab them right around the loins, the thighs and the midsection. you don't grab it by the head. you grab it and that sweat and the chemicals and your body

begin to immediately corrode the gold that is on gold. >> jimmy: it immediately? >> well the very next day, both years, and automatically the rust was beginning to corrode. >> jimmy: really? >> i was happy to leave it like that. and i saw them and i said, i'm proud of these things. and i understand you can get them refurbished and i did. the academy offers that service. and i send it out to that service. and west covina. al's trophy's restoration. and i got the world back -- i tell you mr. hanks, the best thing to do is replace these things, they are shot.

no, they said they were in such bad shape they would be happy to just give me replacements. >> jimmy: what kind of poison is coming out of your pores? >> i don't want to -- you know those are the ones. they have serials numbers and stuff. and they said they would redip them. they are going to try to replate them and i will never touch them again. i won't put my hands own them and they say, can i hold your oscars? and i'm like no. >> jimmy: you are going to look like a jerk. >> no one is touching those freaking things. they are going no the freezer with the vodka we have been saving. >> jimmy: march 26 sth international tom hanks day. >> yeah yeah. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: i know it is. >> a guy in chicago started it up a few years ago and now we raise money for. they show movies in a bar and -- >> jimmy: is it a bar? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: have you attended -- >> i don't have to do that. for awhile it was national and now it's international. >> jimmy: how is it international? >> well i think it's is a satellite division. >> jimmy: they have tacos at the meal? >> well, some of the islands in indonesia. but internationally, the movies travel differently. some hits here are not hits over seas. and el sinhelsinki, they are going to watch the "bonfire of the

vanities" and the only universal sit is "turner and hooch". >> jimmy: well, we have the exciting stuff to go over. your children. and "larry crowne,". >> it it is the celebrity kickoff. >> jimmy: more with tom hanks when we come back.

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>> jimmy: welcome back. with tom hanks. cee lo green still to come. >> and a snappy band. a snappy band. >> jimmy: they are one of the snappiest. and normally they look they are selling ed hardy shirts. congratulations, you are a grandfather now. >> i am indeed. >> jimmy: i follow you on twitter. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah. >> they are my tweets. i get paid -- if i mention pepsi pepsi. >> jimmy: do you really? >> i tweet. those are my granddaughter's feet. i asked my son, colin, would it

be okay if i tweeted a picture of her feet. and he took that. >> jimmy: look that. >> look at that toe spread. you know who had toe like that? albert einstein. and that one, jessica biel. >> jimmy: you have a young daughter as well? >> i do. >> jimmy: who is getting involved in show business. >> she has chops. he daughter sophie is ram bunk

use. >> jimmy: you brought us video. >> there was a possibility to do something for the cable channels that are 320 and we put out a possibility of me and sophie hanks. >> jimmy: we have it here. let's take a look. >> my name is tom hanks and i am super excited because my daughter soefphie and i are competing in the miss sexy nevada and when it comes to awards, this is as big as it gets. >> i'm sophie hanks and i want to be the ultimate miss sexy baby. you like pageants because i like

winning money. >> we did the first page when she was only 3 months old. she got queen. do you remember that? >> not really. >> it was a beautiful day. well, as you can see, we got over 40 of these bad boy. in fact we named her sophie because it rhymes with -- >> trophy. >> say it trophies. >> give me a smile. >> no, i hate smiles and i hate pageants. >> oh, don't be a hooch. don't have a hooch moment. hooch is a bad dog. well you know, sophie can get emotional. i know what it's like to be a kid. i played one in "big."

all of this is about sophie. it's for her. >> i think my dad wants to be a pageant queen and can't. >> shoulder, shoulder. shoulder. >> as automatic. sexy feet. sexy feet. she has to keep her eye on the prize. ah! >> daddy! >> sorry, swim suit competition. swim suit competition. oh, sparkle time! when it comes to markup, some people say less is more. but i say more is more. yes! yes! it's here. it's here. >> my wig! >> there you are.

you look just like a bratz doll. you look just like a bratz doll. we are so excited. this is a glitz pageant. everything has to be princess perfect. sweetie, sweetie, come on. >> i'm so excited. >> hi, sophie hanks. here they are. look at them. sweet pretty loser, every one of them. don't wrinkle, don't wrinkle. sit, sit up. i think the only person who can beat sophie is sophie. is that right? >> yes. >> it's hers to lose. >> next up in the little miss

category is sophie hanks. [ applause ] >> we talked about focus. make daddy love you. sexy baby? >> sexy baby. >> get up there. earn it. ♪ ♪ it never seen you look so good ♪ ♪ and the way it should ♪ ♪ but i like it and i know you like it too ♪ ♪ the way that i want you ♪ >> poison? poison is sophie's favorite 1980s hair band. ♪ baby talk dirty to me ♪ >> sexy baby! sexy baby!

you were such a sexy baby. i'm proud of you. proud of you. yeah, i'm proud of her. did she make some mistakes. yeah? mistakes are okay. provided you work on them and don't make them again. >> i will try not to. >> we are work on those. >> miss ultimate sexy baby 2011 queen is -- rhonda howard! >> yes! [ laughter ] >> look, there is a lot of politics involved. it's all in who you know. >> this smi first sexy baby win and i'm happy. >> with a tooth like that sticking out like it does i'm a

sexy baby. i don't get it. not with teeth like that. >> houston, tom has a problem. eat my dust hanks. >> good one, dad. >> thanks, rhonda. >> wow. >> jimmy: we will be right back with tom hanks. hey guys the reviews are in on cars.com. really? what'd they say? well let's see... it says sheila looks great... topless. [ laughter ] what's so funny? nothing. nothing. and it says here hank's a real gas guzzler. you hear that hank burp. whatever. hey, what about me? it says your ride is very smooth. aw, yeah. hear that sheila? never gonna happen. [ male announcer ] with consumer and expert reviews. confidence comes standard. see just like the reviews said. big rear-end. excuse me? [ inner monologue ] first date. itchy scalp. don't scratch. maybe i'll...oops. [ scratching ] [ sighs ] / [ female announcer ] instead, try new head and shoulders itchy scalp care with eucalyptus. / it immediately soothes and delivers

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a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a awswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswswsws >> jimmy: we're back with tom hanks. on july 1st this summer you have your own movie called "thomas crown". >> "larry crowne." it has a great cast. i play a guy that goes back to

college. and my teacher is julia roberts. and get what happens, america. we have a fabulous case. i know couldn't that just be poster. guess what happens. we make out a little. >> jimmy: we have a clip from the film. >> usually it's tough because here i am, hawking my wares, which is embarrassing. and i pick the out solely because she plays my teacher and i play the student and i have never looked cooler in a motion official before. >> jimmy: take a look. ♪ >> please enter your destination. ♪

>> larry crowne. >> right hi. >> i have you in a couple minutes. >> yeah, you do. i'm just drowning out the gps. it never starts. >> the map genie, it's complicated. no wonder the auto on feature is engaged. so menu select. voice select change yes, on off. off, change yes. save and back back, back, and exit. >> oh. >> how long was that broken?

>> since my husband installed it himself. >> fixed. >> thank you. >> what are you going make us do in class? >> you have to find out. >> follow me. >> it's "larry crowne." comes out july 1st. tom hanks, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] well, the first thing we do when we come up here is take her out to eat.

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a drill craftsman impact drivers answer the call delivering over 3,000 impacts per minute. giving you greater torque, for greater force. to power through the toughest jobs. craftsman. trust. in your hands. hey buddy, wattaya lookin' a-oooh. ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] mini, meet berries. introducing new kellogg's frosted mini-wheats with a touch of fruit in the middle. helloooooo fruit in the middle. 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[ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: this week on "jimmy kimmel live," emli

jik want to thank the academy.

i want to thank the ps 22 chorus. mike tyson. ron howard. i want to apologize to matt damon, we have run out of time. with award winning music on a night iowa wards w the album "lady killer," the song is "bright lights big city." good night. ♪ >> california love, y'all. let's get it on. come on. let's go.

♪ going for the weekend not anymore ♪ ♪ and i get the feeling that friday is coming fast ♪ ♪ i'm looking for action and it's out there some where ♪ ♪ i can feel the electricity in the evening air ♪ ♪ and sometimes i want to go where everyone knows your name ♪ ♪ i guess i have to wait and see and when something brand new happens to me ♪ ♪ it's all right. it's all right it's all right ♪ ♪ bright lights in the big city and tonight ♪ ♪ body's cold but there is something about saturday night ♪ ♪ you can't say what you want to

do ♪ ♪ you snow that you just might ♪ ♪ it's love at first sight this saturday and every saturday for the rest of my life ♪ ♪ yeah looking for a real good time ♪ ♪ and i wonder here ♪ ♪ and i have to share it with ♪ ♪ it's all right it's all right it's all right ♪ ♪ bright lights in the big city ♪ ♪ if you want to go tonight ♪ ♪ throw your hands in the air ♪ ♪ wave them like you don't care and if you're a fan of cee lo

green say oh yeah ♪ ♪ somebody anybody, everybody scream ♪ ♪ ooh, in the conversation use it to make love ♪ ♪ all right it's all right it's all right ♪ ♪ bright lights in the big city ♪ ♪ all through the night yeah ♪ ♪ it's all right ♪ captions by vitac

♪ ♪ going to the bank without going to the bank... that's a step forward. with chase quickdeposit on your smartphone you just snap a picture, hit send and done. chase quickdeposit. take a step forward and chase what matters. e just keep on keep ♪ we just keep on keepin' on ♪ ♪ keep on ♪♪ (meredith) great

surgeons aren't made, they're born. it takes gestation incubation, sacrifice-- a lot of sacrifice. but after all the blood and guts and gooey stuff washed away that surgeon you become? totally worth it. (singsongy) welcome back. uh, i am not back. i am here for a surgery.