and everything that's happening around the world. and, of course, we're always available at abcnews.com. until tomorrow from japan, i'm bill weir. good night america. >> dicky: tonight on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> from this moment forward, our theater will be known as the harry baals memorial theater. >> dicky: jane lynch. >> jimmy: you got to meet ron howard. >> i would love to. >> jimmy: and potsi, too. >> dicky: david boreanaz and avril lavigne.

>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel for the new lexus ct hybrid. technologically advanced, aggressively-styled, and built to help you escape convention. right, guillermo? >> right jimmy. the ct hybrid combines the highest fuel-efficiency of any luxury car with surprising agility. it's rated at 42 miles per gallon and has four drive modes, including sport mode, which gives yoa noticeably more responsive and engaging ride. >> jimmy: well, that all sounds great and it was beautifully delivered. and it's a beautiful car, too. but why you are upside down? >> because the lexus ct hybrid will turn your idea of what a hybrid should be upside down. >> jimmy: oh, all right. >> i'm upside down.

>> jimmy: how are you plank to get out of the vehicle? >> that's easy. in this car, can i do anything. i can eat my cake and eat it too. watch this. >> dicky: the lexus ct hybrid. unexpected, unconfined and unlike any hybrid you have ever known. go to lexus.com/ct for more info. >> jimmy: oh, gravity, why do you torment us so? "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with david boreanaz, music from avril lavigne and jane lynch. unexpected. and unlike any hybrid you have ever known. ♪ introducing the most fuel-efficient luxury car available. ♪ the radically new, 42 mile per gallon ct hybrid from lexus. ♪ welcome to the darker side of green.

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new aveeno art essentials is the first thing i've found for stressed skin with active naturals southernwood to keep essential nourishment in and environmental stress out. now that's smart. new aveeno smart essentials. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- jane lynch. from "bones," david boreanaz. and music from avril lavigne. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, once again,

here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for being with us. thanks for being so soft and smooth. is anyone in the audience tonight chare sheen? good, we can speak freely then. charlie sheen, as you know, went crazy last month. he attacked his bosses, he was fired from his job. his head started spinning around. he could very well be possessed by the devil. and he says he's planning to sue warner brothers and cbs, two of the biggest companies in all of hollywood. how does hollywood respond? well, with a movie deal. apparently charlie sheen is

preparing to star in major league three. the movie is already written. they're ready to shoot. i forgot charlie sheen was even an actor. i thought he was the host of "the bad girls club" or something. but he's been playing baseball to get in shape for the movie pitching, hitting, peeing in cups. it's hard to believe that of the original film's stars, wesley snipes is the one in prison right now. charlie's offered wesley's role to his high school friend tony, so that should be good. that should be great. i want to skip right to the making of extras on the dvd of this one. and i really hope that the academy does the right thing and gives him an oscar because that would be the greatest acceptance speech ever made. so, he's doing well. he's winning, as he said many times. i've been asking abc to make him "the bachelor" but nobody here listens to me.

did any of you watch "the bachelor" finale last night? nothing to bproud of. brad in his second tour of duty actually picked someone this time. he picked emily. how long it's going to last, i don't know. last night, they revealed they have broken up and unbroken up since the show stopped taping. emily has a daughter, you know, she's a single mom and that can make things complicated but here at abc, we like complicated. we spin complication into ratings gold. if you like "the bachelor," "the bachelorette," "the bachelor crime unit," you will have at least mixed feelings about this new show. >> brad womack chose a single mom to be his life partner. >> emily, please make me happier than i've ever been in my life and marry me. >> but he did not choose her daughter.

now, it's little ricky's turn to search. i need a new family. >> over the next 12 weeks, she will make the most important decision of her life. >> carrots? kids like cookies, not carrots! >> patience will be tested. noses will be wiped. hearts will be broken. >> bill, linda, i'm sorry, but the road ends here. >> i thought we made a connection. >> get out. >> the littlest bachelorette. premieres monday march 2 1s. >> will you be my family? >> only on abc. >> jimmy: we're always innovating and that's what keeps it so fresh. [ applause ] the ncaa college basketball tournament officially tipped off tonight. so, see you in three weeks, productivity. this is that special time of the year when we learn what a gonzaga is. it's a goose, by the way. between march madness, face the

book and twitter, the typical american worker puts in an average of 17 minutes a week around this time of year. i had to bring migrant workers in to take care of my farmville account. the first two games of the tournament took place tonight in dayton, ohio. the play-in round. and the final four i have in my bracket, duke, pitt, ohio state and devry university. they're serious about success, so i'm counting on that. the games tonight aired on a channel called tru tv, becau nothing gets you ready for a basketball tournament like "conspiracy theory." you're going to see a lot of sports reporting in the next few weeks but you're not going to see anything as good as this. this is from the university of hartford. a couple of kids there, and keep in mind, these are college kids. they don't have any experience, that's why they were making this tape. somehow, it wound up on youtube, and -- enjoy. >> darius, the brackets look like this coming in today for

the women. number two, bu takes on number seven vermont in the first game and then number three binghamton, right after that, takes on number six new hampshire. >> that's right. and number eight, stonybrook, who won yesterday, takes on number one unbc and the number four hartfard hawks take on number five, albany in the late ga. talk about the bracket -- >> jimmy: this is why it's so important to tip your cue card person. women's basketball moves so quickly, it's a tough sport to keep up with. i would have started with them something slower like chess. but they started with basketball. here they are recapping a game between boston university and vermont wh the expected happens. >> this is the -- it was a really good game. vermont may be the two-time

defending champs, however, they have been getting pushed around by boston all year long. also, bu comes out on top -- >> bu -- bu's car lie stewart turn around jumper and she gets it. number 34 -- >> bu played great defense. vermont actually had only six points in the first half. if you can believe that. that's pretty crazy. >> yeah, that is quite -- yeah, at iquite outstanding. >> jimmy: you know what, it's called chemistry. you can't create it. it is either there or it isn't. if anyone knows these guys, i really want them to cover the tourme tournament for us. let's get something going. i think we need to enjoy college basketball while it lasts because we night not have an nfl

season. over the weekend, the nfl announced a lockout. it puts a stop to all negotiations, which means the season could be cancelled. millions of american men are getting very nervous they might have to speak to their wives on sunday. it's -- [ laughter ] with no football, the entire country could turn into one big los angeles. it could be terrible. on top of that, the chief executive of a major chicken company said an extended lockout could be devastating 0 the chicken wing industry. chickens could be forced to keep their limbs. it's -- this is a big deal. tens of millions of people watch the nfl, but the details of what a lockout is can be confusing. so, we sent cousin sal out to ask hard core football fans to explain it to us. >> you a big football fan? >> pretty much. >> you like the steelers? yeah. >> tell me what's going on what's going on with the lockout. what is the lockout? >> a lockout. i don't even know. >> you don't know? >> i haven't heard that lately. >> to me, a lockout -- it's --

to me it's hard to determine what a lockout is. >> i don't even know how to describe it. >> i don't know. >> you don't know? >> i feel bad. >> don't feel bad. >> i don't really know. sorry? >> you don't know? all right. >> what do i know? i'm a canadian. >> right. what is this? >> cigars. are you are a smoker? >> thanks a lot. geez. i got to hold onto the wallet. >> you've been locked out from smoking today. >> you're a schmuck. >> you're not supposed to have contact -- >> look at him -- >> he needs to be locked out of a few restaurants. >> do it for us. the fans! we need football. >> tell me what you know about brett favre's penis. >> small.

[ applause ] >> jimmy: sal putting his journalism degree to use. we don't know what a lockout is. fortunately we have good news for sports fans. snooki is wrestling now. she was on monday night raw last night. somehow she found a way out of her exclusive contract with wimbledon. how does that work? i'm sick of this degrading reality tv, i want to be hit with a folding chair. make it happen. she'll be at wrestlemania, teaming with a couple of wrestlers, which will not be snooki's first experience in a tag team situation, or with the situation in general. and here she is last night. normally when she smooshes, it means she's having sex, but in this case, she almost got smooshed.

>> look at snooki go! >> jimmy: like watching a scene out of "gremlins." super fly snooki. believe it or not, snooki comes from a wrestling family. this is her grandfather. [ laughter ] toughest man ever to fit inside a carry-on bag. he later shot to fame as one of the california raisins. and one more thing. for the past several weeks we've been following a story here on the show. last month, ft. wayne, indiana, did a poll to decide what to name their new government building. they chose to name it after a beloved mayor of ft. wayne and there was a lot of controversy about naming this after him. but the verdict came in and, well, here's how things shook

out. >> ft. wayne's new government center has a new name, but we can tell you it is not the one that got all the national and inteational attention. we're live downtown from 200 east barry tonight. and chris, the city is staying true to its word and not honoring the former mayor harry baals. >> jimmy: that's right. despite the fact that the harry baals government center got ten times as many votes as the next closest competitor, city officials have decided instead to call it citizens square. you can boo if you want. yeah. that's a bad decision. i got a letter from tom henry the mayor of ft. wayne. and he's going to appear now in our magic window. hello, tom. how are you? >> fine, jimmy. how are you tonight? >> jimmy: i always imagined you would be in our window one day. congratulations on the successful merger of the ft. wayne and allen county 911 services. i've been watching that closely.

>> thank you. >> jimmy: do you know why you're on the show tonight? >> i believe so. >> jimmy: now, you conducted an online poll in which you asked your constituents to weigh in on a name for the government building. overwhelmingly the people chose harry baals. and what were the results specifically of that poll, do you know? >> well, harry got about 23,000 votes. but our sources tell us that only about 1,000 came from ft. wayne. the other 22,000 came from throughout the world. >> jimmy: and how many people voted for citizens square? >> well, actually, citizens square was a combination of a number of other names, a lot of people submitted names that had community in it or people or it is sit essentials, and they submitted ones with the words plaza, square, those type of things. >> jimmy: was there a square

baals in the group? >> perhaps was one of them. >> jimmy: i think citizens square got five votes. five people. you were probably one of them, for all we know. and you went with that -- are the citizens of ft. wayne square? >> absolutely not. we're one of the most hippest towns in the midwest. we invited you to come leer. >> jimmy: i know and yet i don't feel welcome because of this harry baals thing. >> you are always welcome, jimmy. >> jimmy: what if in the future your name becomes a euphemism for a body part what if people start calling their nipples henry. is that going to be a problem? >> in my opinion, no. >> jimmy: what is your -- >> i enjoy that, quite frankly. maiden name?at is your wife's tom? >> i love you for this.

cox. >> jimmy: spell that for us. k-o-c-k-s. >> jimmy: where does she stand in this? she's in that baals and kocks boat there. >> act chulgly she's having just as much fun as we are. >> jimmy: are you close to her family? >> very close. >> jimmy: would you say you love her family. >> i do. >> jimmy: so you love the kocks. you are a man who is not afraid to say that. [ applause ] and yet -- the great harry baals gets the shaft. with all that's going on in the world, don't you think it would make people smile to have a harry baals building in a town? i would be so delighted when i went by that thing. >> i'm surprise that you're not wearing the t-shirt we sent you. >> jimmy: well, i'm wearing the underpants you sent.

is there any chance you would change your mind or perhaps you'd be willing to, like, name something else after harry baals in the town? >> actually we're investigating that right now. >> jimmy: you're investigating it but you will not promise that you will e rate a harect a har n monument in the town? do you have a minor league baseball team in the town? >> we do. >> jimmy: you could name it after that. this h i was prepared for this, because i had a feeling you guys were not going to listen to the people in this case. so, to honor harry baals, we have decided that from this moment forward, our theater will here to fore be known as the harry baals memorial theater. there it is. in all its glory. thank you, mr. mayor. ft. wayne mayor tom henry, everybody.

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>> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. tonight on the show, from "bones," a man who is literally full of them, david boreanaz is here. and then later, with a special acoustic performance from her new album "good-bye lullaby," avril lavigne from the bud light stage. tomorrow night on the show, kristen wiig, adam scott, and music from the wombats.

then on thursday, matthew mcconaughey, jena malone, and st. patrick's day music from young dubliners. so join us for those festivities. our first guest tonight has an emmy, a golden globe, a s.a.g. award and worn more track suits than the $6 million man and run-dmc combined. starting friday, you can see her in regular clothes in the new movie "paul." please say hello to jane lynch. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. >> good to see you, too. >> jimmy: congratulations on i'll the success of "glee." >> thank you. the show, the records, i think you have a chain of tire stores or something. >> exactly. >> jimmy: which is very nice. >> all nice. >> jimmy: do kids scream when they see you and go crazy? >> mostly for the "glee" kids, though, not so much for me. >> jimmy: they might be afraid you're going to yell at them. >> exactly. exactly. >> jimmy: but you don't

yell at them? >> no, i don't yell at them, i'm really kind to them. it's great. the kids love the show and it's wonderful. >> jimmy: when you were a kid, did you have a show like that? >> i was devoted to "happy days." >> jimmy: oh, me, too. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. >> who was your favorite on the show? >> i was in love with ron howard. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> i had such a fascination for him that i had a scrapbook. i took a picture of him. then i went to a photo booth. i took pictures of myself doing this. and this. and this. like the brady bunch. and i put it on all four corners of that. and it was going "pretty foxy." yeah, i loved him. he was my favorite. >> jimmy: do you know him? have you met him? >> i haven't met him as an adult buzz when i was 13, i'm from chicago, and -- [ applause ] yeah! awesome. and we was on wgn, you guys know wgn. >> jimmy: the radio station? >> which is a big talk radio station in chicago. and he was promoting "happy days," i called in, hitting the redial button, i got in, i got on the show and anson williams, who played potsi was on the show, and he was pretty foxy,

as i put in my scrapbook. not all foxy. and i got through and i said, i wanted to be an actress, i said what should i do? and he said, if you stay in school, do plays, i'm doing "guys and dolls." he said, good for you. when you're an adult and you want to still be an actress, come out to ran. and anson williams said, this is what you've got to do. >> jimmy: he had a different point of view? >> i'm 13, okay, you go down to the screen actors guild and get the name of all the agents in the country and write them letters and hopefully someone will sign you. which is the stupidest thing to tell a 13-year-old in the suburbs of chicago. but i did it. >> you did do it? >> i did it. >> jimmy: you took his advice? >> i blew off ron howard's advice. >> jimmy: how many letters did you send? >> tons. handwritten. i gave them all my school picture, i was like, 6th, 7th grade. and i got one reply. >> jimmy: only one? >> only one reply, from universal studios from a casting director's assistant. so, you know. of course, obviously, probably

angry about her assistant status. she wrote me this horrible letter. >> no! >> you're not a professional. we don't -- we're not interested in young people. basically. and someday when you're a professional and you've had some training maybe we'll talk. >> jimmy: really? >> i was over the moon by it. you know. >> you were excited? >> i was really excited about it. it was a great thing. >> jimmy: that's a weird thing to be excited about. >> i was thrilled. no one's going to burst my bubble at that point. i was just thrilled about it. >> jimmy: you must have been very determined. >> i was. i wanted to do it ever since, you know -- >> jimmy: and your family was supportive? >> no, not really. no. i mean, i'm in the suburbs of chicago. and my mom -- i remember my mother said to me, you can't always do what you want to. which i think is great advice to give a kid. and to this day she's always, i'm sorry i said that, that's awful. >> jimmy: at least she acknowledges it. my family would pretend it was never, ever said. they don't understand, like, well, this is a ridiculous idea. you need to get a job, you need

to do something. i'm worried about you. >> my mother told me to -- i wanted to major in theater in college, and she said, major in mass communications, because it's close to theater, kind of a smear of media would be. >> jimmy: it does no good to major in mass communications. >> it does no good to major in theater. no good. >> jimmy: i maintain it does no good to major in anything. for that matter. >> i would agree with you. >> jimmy: you've had a number of very big guest stars on the show. and most of them are, like, younger, well, i guess it's about half and half. but are there any that you've been particularly excited -- >> carol burnett. that was huge. i grew up loving that show. but -- when -- when i was little and "grease" was the big musical, i loved john travolta and i loved olivia newton-john. when i saw they were in a musical together i almost imploded. olivia was on our show because ryan murphy loves her, as well. he wrote her a letter to get her to be on the show. that was exciting for me. i named my dog olivia after her.

>> wow. >> when i met her, i didn't lead with that. >> you did not, no. people have mixed feelings about that sort of thing. >> yeah. did you tell her what a huge fan you were? >> i did. i told her what a big fan i was. "i honestly love you." do you remember that song? i said, "olivia, i honestly love you." >> jimmy: did you say xanadu to her at any point? and was she appreciative of this? >> she was the nicest person in the world. she e-mailed me. i won that, those awards, she e-mailed me. she e-mailed me on my birthday. she e-mailed me when i got married. >> jimmy: when you were a little kid, could you imagine e-mail -- well -- >> first of all, e-mail. no. >> jimmy: e-mail would be even more exciting than e-mailing olivia newton john. i can send a message from my hands to australia? it's ridiculous. wow. >> never imagined it. no. >> jimmy: so, well, you got to meet ron howard. don't you think? >> i would love to meet ron. i bet i will. it a small world out here in hollywood.

i bet i will. >> jimmy: put the word out that you should meet ron howard and fulfill that dream and you should meet potsi, too, to tell him he's an idiot. >> yeah. you give the stupidest advice, mister. >> jimmy: you're working on an autobiography right now. >> yes. >> that would make a nice chapter -- >> it's in there. i just gave you the first chapter here on the show. >> jimmy: now, why do you say -- >> do you write? >> jimmy: i do. you don't like writing? >> it sounded like a great idea. i'm so bored with myself right now. but i -- i do that thing that writers do. you find something to distract yourself. oh, i have to go take care of this, i can't write. i'll come back. i'll come back to this. i have a very old fat cat that likes to pee under my desk, and poo, by the way. body of them. >> jimmy: wonderful. >> so there's a little bit of -- as i'm writing i'm like, uh -- >> jimmy: this is the desk where you're writing? great. >> she does it on the pee pad. she's old. she sometimes doesn't make it. but there's a smell around my desk and it's the greatest distraction in the world.

i have to find that. i have to find that smell. and i have different concoctions that i put together with vinegar to get rid of the smell. but it keeps me from having to sit down. >> jimmy: while the cat is alive, this book is not going to get finished. >> no. i might have to put this cat down. >> jimmy: yeah. >> to meet my deadline. >> jimmy: have your publisher take care of it for you. publisher comes in and euthanizes the animal. >> that's terrible. >> jimmy: it's a joke. >> come on, people. >> jimmy: seriously, i'll take care of that if you need it. >> thank you. >> jimmy: what is the name of of the autobiography, have you decided yet? >> "happy accidents." >> after what is happening under the desk? >> exactly. >> jimmy: is the cat named happy? >> perfect. yes. the reason i chose that title is, any agenda that i've had for myself about how i wanted something to go in my life has always been stupid and never worked. and i always found myself kind of pulled in another place

that i didn't think is where i wanted to go, like, case in point, i thought i was going to be a theater actress and i ended up at second city and that was really an accident. i found myself there one day and they cast me out of, like, 50 women. they cast me to be in the touring company. and i had no idea why. and then i realized. i love sketch. it kind of changed everything for me. and i made a lot more money than i would have being a theater actor. >> jimmy: and that's what's most important. number one. above all. >> the money you make. >> jimmy: the money is -- >> right, exactly. >> jimmy: and you're in this movie "paul." >> i am, yes. >> you're in it -- how much are you in the movie? >> about one scene's worth. and you're going to see it tonight. >> jimmy: we're going to show people the entirety of your -- >> my entire performance. >> jimmy: in the movie and for free, which is extra nice. >> yes. >> jimmy: well, here it is. called "paul." it opens on friday. here's jane lynch. >> watch the skies or alien on board? >> alien on board, please. >> okay. if you're sure. so. how was comic-con? >> we met adam shadowchild.

>> who the hell is adam shadowchild? >> he wrote the illusion pan genesis. >> i didn't read that one. >> the great hen? >> no. >> the robot's mistress? >> i like romances. >> what kind of a romance? >> between a woman and a machine? >> yeah. >> i hear that. >> jimmy: well, it's a good scene. >> it's not bad, huh? >> jimmy: great to see you. >> good to see you too. >> "paul" opens in theaters on friday. jane lynch, everyone. we'll be right back with david boreanaz. [ cheers and applause ] odge jouy is an 8.4-inch touch screen that lets you control the stereo volume, radio tuning, climate controls, turn-by-turn navigation, and bluetooth activation -- technology inside technology controlling more technology. welcome to the future. now lease the new

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>> jimmy: hola. still to come, avril lavigne will join us. our next guest was a pioneer in the field of dreamy vampires on "buffy." he is now an fbi agent in sixth season of "bones." you can watch it thursdays at 9:00 on fox. please say hello to david boreanaz. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? how is everything? >> my guy right there, uncle frank. >> jimmy: did you have a chat with him beforehand? >> everybody has an uncle frank. well, i have an uncle frank. >> jimmy: do you? >> i'm italian, come on.

>> jimmy: boreanaz doesn't sound like an italian name? >> it is. >> jimmy: never heard of one that ends in a z before. >> kimmel? >> jimmy: well, my mom's last name is iacono. your family is cooks -- >> they cook all the time. i'm cooking on the weekends, i got the lasagna going. a lot of wine. >> jimmy: very nice. >> lots of wine. wine is very, very important. listen, i tell you, a lot of italian cooks say don't put the wine in the souse. not only do we do that, my wife and i, we drink the wine. >> jimmy: you put it directly into you. >> and we dive in the sauce together and before you know, we're wrestling. >> jimmy: you got the sauce in the sauce. >> we have the whole italian tradition thing going on. >> jimmy: a lot of italian fa familie families, none of the men cook. was your dad cook? >> he did. but he didn't -- he only did specialty dishes.

only the holiday cooking that he did. like, the lasagna or the -- >> jimmy: people know that. if they don't they're in for a treat. >> we were brought up just in the traditional sense, like, you think you know italian fraelzs. i just think i know them. i basically go out, say, hey, how you doing? i sound like an idiot. my wife is like -- >> jimmy: that's not italian. >> yeah, i don't. that's not -- >> jimmy: if you go to italy and say that, they're going to be confused. >> you use italian words and my wife says, you are no idea what you're talking about. >> jimmy: does your wife speak italian? >> no. she's smart. >> jimmy: she just knows. >> she nudges at me, says, what the hell are you talking about? >> jimmy: congratulations, you had a baby since the last time you were here. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what is her name? >> what is its name? >> jimmy: what is her name? >> bella. it's amazing.

18 months, such an -- all the experiences that you have -- i have an 8-year-old, too, and -- >> jimmy: boy, right? >> yeah, jaden. and the moments that you have with each just define certain, you know, chapters in their lives. and bella is 18 now and we bought her first car yesterday. >> jimmy: 18 months or -- wait a minute. i thought you said she was 18 months. >> the little plastic car. one of those things -- >> jimmy: she cares about the car? >> she loves the car. well, this is -- this is how it works. you go to the toys "r" us place, you get, you know, you go down the aisles. lots of plastic. >> jimmy: a lot of primary colors. >> lots of primary colors. >> jimmy: a lot of pink. >> i would rather go to ikea. >> jimmy: chuck e. cheese may be the only place worse. it's bad. >> we got the vehicle home. had to register it with the dmv. because i -- >> jimmy: it's one of those --

>> i want to put an engine in it, my wife said, you're crazy. >> jimmy: she pushes along? >> it's all plastic. jamie put it together. i wouldn't have the patience. when you go to these places, now we're looking for little potty training for the little girl. you have to start that -- >> jimmy: don't you hire a professional? >> i know it's the hollywood thing to do, it's on the list. professional potty trainer. >> jimmy: that's the next thing. i'm going to see my trainer. potty. >> potty trainer. it's in the back. just got here at 6:00 a.m. with the other trainer. >> jimmy: isn't 18 months is -- >> girls develop, you nope, quicker. >> okay. >> jimmy: i was 7. >> they had different models. so, literally, there's one model where you lift up and, it just makes, like, this sound. it sings to you. it's a singing toilet. >> jimmy: that could send a mixed message. >> bella, you have done good. achieved glory. i'm serious.

but we got it home and she didn't -- she didn't want it in the bathroom. she wanted it outside to watch tv so -- i, you know, she wants to go where she wants to go. i respect that. i completely respect that. and i, i mean, hey, if you had it your way, where would you go? >> jimmy: right there. >> where? >> jimmy: i'd go during the show on tv. >> amazing. >> jimmy: i would love to have a musical toilet. mine would play the theme that darth vader, you hear when darth vader enters. >> really? >> jimmy: mi mine would be the "jaws" theme. depends on what you ate the night before. >> jimmy: as i mentioned -- >> i mean, that could be anything. exorcist could come out. that could be dangerous. >> jimmy: you are directing an episode of "bones." you've done this before, i know. >> yi tried. >> jimmy: how does that work? you go from being an actor on the show and listening to a director with your fellow cast members and then you're telling

them what to do. do they listen? >> they don't, no. why would they listen to me? no, they have no sense of wanting to listen to me in the first place. it's really a -- it can be difficult because, you know, you're acting and directing. what do you tell yourself? >> jimmy: great job. >> david, great job. you nailed it, man, go back in there and do -- >> jimmy: go to the plastic potty, enjoy yourself. >> you deserve some time off right now. but no, they're fine. i mean, literally, i've been doing the show now, we're in our sixth season -- >> jimmy: what is the idea of this episode and why were you attracted to directing this one? >> it was a bottle show. anyone who doesn't know that, basically, pick a show during the season, they want to save money so they shoot on the already existing set so you're not on major locations. >> jimmy: you remember when this happened, that kind of thing, like they do on "family ties," oh, when skippy came in -- >> the globetrotters aren't visiting the set of "bones" yet.

it was great because -- i was able to achieve a really great opening shot. i put a guy in a crane, he was a steady cam, he came down, it was snow. amazing. we snowed the whole back lot of fox. >> jimmy: you made fake snow? >> a guy in snow business. >> jimmy: no it's not. >> serious. he has a machine that he got and he, it's the only machine that makes the perfect snow in hollywood. he's in london. i think he's the third richest man in the world. >> jimmy: you had to fly him from london to make snow? >> yeah. >> jimmy: so you're not involved in the budget. >> that's why the bottle show went way out -- >> jimmy: you won't be directing again. >> if i'm going to go out, go out with a blizzard. >> jimmy: if you can make snow, why not? >> better make it right, right? but it's an amazing machine. it breaks down paper and recycles it in a way that it really looks like real wet snow. so we just piled everything in

the back lot and we covered the whole back lot -- >> jimmy: do people look around, say, you know what there are blizzards going on constantly in the whole rest of the country, maybe we should go there and use actual snow. >> you really should work on the show, i mean -- >> jimmy: always thinking. >> you would be great on the show. >> jimmy: great to see you. if you're directing the next episode, put me right in it. "bones" airs thursday nights at 9:00 p.m. on fox. we'll be right back with avril lavigne. [ male announcer ] applebee's 2 for 20 fans just can't get enough.

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go ahead... sheet or bar? how do you get your bounce? oh, i'm a forgetter. i tend to forget things all the time. so, i'm a bar person. i don't need to remember the dryer sheet, so if i forget, i'm still good. woman: (shouting) remember the bar!

>> jimmy: this is her new album. it's called "good-bye lullaby."

here with an acoustic version of her song "what the hell," avril lavigne. ♪ ♪ you say that i'm messin' with your head yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ all because i was making out with your friend yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ love hurts whether it's right or wrong yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ i can't stop cause i'm having too much fun yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ you're on your knees beggin' please stay with me ♪ ♪ but honestly i just need to be a little psycho ♪ ♪ all my life i've been good but now i'm thinking what the hell ♪ ♪ all i want is to mess around

and i don't really care about if you love me ♪ ♪ if you hate me you can't save me baby, baby ♪ ♪ all my life i've been good but now whoa what the hell ♪ ♪ what what what the hell ♪ ♪ so what if i go out on a million dates yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ you never call or listen to me anyway yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ i'd rather rage then sit around and wait all day yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ don't get me wrong i just need some time to play yay-ay ♪ ♪ you're on your knees beggin' please stay with me ♪ ♪ but honestly i just need to be a little crazy ♪

♪ all my life i've been good but now i'm thinking what the hell ♪ ♪ all i want is to mess around and i don't really care about if you love me ♪ ♪ if you hate me you can't save me baby, baby ♪ ♪ all my life i've been good but now whoa what the hell ♪ ♪ ♪ la la la la la la la la whoa, whoa la la la la la la la la whoa whoa ♪ ♪ you say that i'm messing with your head ♪ ♪ boy i like messing in your bed ♪ ♪ yeah i am messing with your head

when i'm messing with you in ♪ ♪ all my life i've been good but now i'm thinking what the hell ♪ all i want is to mess around and i don't really care about ♪ all my life i've been good but now i'm thinkin' what the hell ♪ ♪ all i want is to mess around and i don't really care about if you love me ♪ ♪ if you hate me you can't save me baby, baby ♪ ♪ all my life i've been good but now whoa what the hell ♪ ♪ la la la la la la la la ♪ ♪ la la la la la la la la la ♪ ababi love america,babababab

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