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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  March 26, 2011 12:00am-1:05am PDT

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with the cracked reactor over in japan and of course we're always online at abcnews.com. so, have a great weekend and until monday, good night, america. >> dicky: tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: very good at handicapping the rumba. >> dicky: liv tyler. >> jimmy: your dad's waiting in the parking lot for you? dropped you off for a play date with me or something. >> dicky: mark cuban. >> when i die, i want to come back as me. >> dicky: a surprise guest. >> how are you doing? >> dicky: and music from brent dennen. "jimmy kimmel live," coming up next.
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- liv tyler. from "shark tank," mark cuban. cousin sal at the l.a. marathon. and music from brett dennen. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, and furthermore, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: i'm jimmy, the host of the program. thank you for coming and for watching. [ cheers and applause ] i was going to say -- you're here on a bad night. i'm tired and i have -- does anyone have anything funny they want to say? oh well. it rained pretty hard here over the last two days which is god's way of trying to flush the real "housewives of orange county" into the ocean. i was almost forced to use an umbrella this morning. it got scary. it rained on the l.a. marathon yesterday. fortunately unlike other marathons in the l.a. marathon you're allowed to drive your car so it was okay. but some of the runners are here. so the 50th place. we're checking actually. have we checked that? >> 835. >> jimmy: you came in 835th? >> overall in women.
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>> jimmy: the women's ranking? 97. that's still pretty good. [ applause ] um -- you're supposed to be on top of that. you're supposed to be checking the facts. >> oh, next time. >> jimmy: okay. puddles were a big problem for some of the runners, even the guy who won. look at this. >> you can really start losing a lot of time -- you can end up walking instead of dropping out but we will see. >> all right. let's check in -- >> he's trying to avoid the big flooded areas. >> some flooded areas. >> jimmy: down, down and down. an hour later he popped up in jack nicholson's hot tub. despite that, that man from ethiopia, his name is markos geneti, not only did he win, broke the l.a. marathon record by almost two minutes. he had a bad stomach going into the race. he had never run a marathon before. in fact, he didn't even know he was in a marathon.
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he was just running to rite-aid for some maalox and he won. incredible. and second place was a runner from kenya, his name was -- i don't know. barack obama or something like that. they even had a sumo wrestler in the race. 400-pound former sumo wrestler became the heaviest man to ever finish a marathon. is that a good thing? no long distance runner has ever been fatter than me. i am the fattest. be the heaviest marathon runner is like being the ugliest playmate of the month. today is the first full day of spring. today is the day -- for me, i usually like to cut loose and start dressing like a absolute today. but most of the country is glad to see this particular winter go after all the damage it caused. it's like watching a crazy ex-girlfriend that trashed your apartment pack up and drive her stuff away. but with spring in bloom it is time now that we say good-bye to the winter that was.
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♪ >> holy [ bleep ]. ♪ >> oh, [ bleep ]! listen to that! son of a -- >> this is bad. >> winning! >> jimmy: he's winning. [ cheers and applause ] a little human snowplow. a new season of "dancing with the stars" premiered tonight on abc. season 12. some of the competitors this year, if you don't know, kirstie alley, romeo,
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who used to be little romeo, chris jericho, kendra wilkinson, hines ward of pittsburgh steelers, wendy williams, ralph maccio, sugar ray leonard -- i say, let's cut the dancing out and have sugar ray fight the karat tee kid. there were good performances tonight. ralph maccio is totally committed. he spent the whole weekend painting len goodman's fence. every year or every season on the night that "dancing with the stars" starts i bet on who i think will win. and i don't like to brag, but i'm great at it. i -- not so good at picking ncaa basketball games. very good at handicapping the rumba. but -- my first pick ever was race car driver helio castroneves. he won. the next season i chose kristi yamaguchi. she also won. then i went ahead and picked lance bass who, unfortunately, did not win. the next year i pilled gilles marini. he should have won, but he wound up in second place. then i came back with donny
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osmond, who was victorious. and then, next season, erin andrews was my pick. she finished not first, but in third place. last season i picked jennifer grey who won it and i won a lot of money thanks to her. now this season the odds-on favorite is disney channel star chelsea kane. i have no idea who that is. so, my pick to win season 11 of "dancing with the stars" is, if we can get a drum roll -- pittsburgh steelers wide receiver hines ward is my pick. [ cheers and applause ] he's likable. he is a champion. he's athletic. he is named after ketchup. there is a lot to like about hines. so, congratulations to you, hines. the pressure is on. we have a good show for you tonight. liv tyler is here on the show with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] brett dennen with music, and mark cuban is here. mark cuban owns among other
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things the dallas mavericks. he's what you call a entrepreneur. for the first few weeks he is a guest shark on "shark tank." if you haven't seen it, there is a panel of what they call sharks, very wealthy businesspeople and people come in and pitch them ideas and then they decide whether to give them money or not if they like the idea, then they invest in their business and get them going. tonight i'm planning to pitch several -- i have a lot of great ideas including a valet parking service idea i have. which is great. i have an idea for a casino. and all marshmallow breakfast cereal. [ cheers and applause ] and an inflatable monkey restraint, which could change everything. in about -- i'm about 25 minutes away from quitting this job and moving in with charlie sheen, so, pack your bags, guillermo. we're going. [ cheers and applause ] shifting gears for a moment, the ongoing situation in libya is very serious, but this is kind of funny. abc correspondent alex marquardt was reporting live from eastern libya when he
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revealed this previously unknown fact. >> tonight colonel gadhafi went on tv saying any civilians or military committing aggression would pay the price. he also said he would open up all weapons depots to lesb -- to libyans. >> jimmy: wait a minute. we're bombing lesbians now? that's unacceptable. that's -- [ applause ] obama is more conservative than i -- i was in austin, texas, this weekend at the south by southwest music festival. it was a lot of fun. the city of austin completely -- except for the bars everything stops during this south by southwest festival. this video is from austin shot during the festival and this is -- this is a great way to help your friends wake up on time. get some firecrackers. put them in a pot.
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really bombing lesbians. let's watch that again in slow motion. that will give you bad dreams for a decade -- see, this is why it doesn't pay to have friends. one more thing, a few weeks ago i unveiled a revolutionary workout program and then last week a revolutionary new diet plan. hottie bodies humpilates. and my jim-mir call diet videos. they have 5 million views on youtube alone. but no project of any worth is complete without a blooper reel. >> my patented physioreduction technology will give you -- [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. >> i don't know how to [ bleep ] hump this thing.
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>> you're turning left to hump. >> i'm real focused on my humps. >> i know. >> my bosom is just sliding it off like a slip and slide. >> is he wearing what i'm wearing? >> ahh! >> that scared the [ bleep ] out of me. >> sorry. >> hey. >> that's not me in the monitor, is it? oh, [ bleep ]. >> rabbit humping the ball. >> oh, that's good. >> humpilates. grr. >> is that better? is that guy better or is that guy better? camera one. camera two? camera one. >> get rid of that. >> [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. you feel that, right? because i'm about to have a heart attack.
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>> i wish i knew i had a whole hump routine, i could have -- >> jimmy: this would be great for me to die. that is one of the dumbest things we've ever done. well, thank you, everyone, for making so many mistakes. we have a good show tonight. liv tyler is here. from the show "shark tank," mark cuban is with us. we'll have music from brett dennen. and we'll be right back with cousin sal at the l.a. marathon, so stick around. >> martini time. come on, get drunk for the last time. >> thank you so much! >> all right! hi. i'm dan hesse, ceo of sprint.
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the other day, i looked up the word "unlimited" in the dictionary. nowhere in the definition did i see words like... "metering," "overage," or "throttling"... which is code for slowing you down. only sprint gives you true unlimited calling, texting... surfing, tv, and navigation on all phones. why limit yourself? [ male announcer ] sprint. the only national carrier to give you true unlimited. find out more at sprint.com. trouble hearing on the phone? visit sprintrelay.com. [ male announcer ] sprint. the only national carrier to give you true unlimited. moments ago, we gstylish orbit packs.ople [ orbit trumpet ] let's see what they think. cork my canteen! churn my butterscotch! [ laughs ] shut the front door! more dirty mouths cleaned up with orbit. in stylish packs.
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>> jimmy: hi there, thank you for watching. it's my best birthday ever and it's not even my birthday. tonight a woman the fruit of steven tyler's loins and star of the new movie "super," liv tyler is here. and then, a man so rich he could buy everyone in this room a house. i hope he does. i really do from "shark tank," mark cuban will be with us. and then, after that, with music
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from this album, it's called "lover boy," it comes out april 12th. brett dennen from the bud light stage. he's good, you'll like him. tomorrow night on the show rainn wilson, abbie cornish, and music from the gaslight anthem. and later this week jake gyllenhaal, jerry weintraub, paul iacono -- hey, he's got your last name. penelope cruz, and music from oh land and quinn sullivan. this is my cousin sal. >> hi, everyone. >> jimmy: sal, how is the -- how's the office pool going, the ncaa office pool. >> it's not good. well, i'm running it. i think this is the last year because our executive producer jo is winning. she's killing everybody and she doesn't know anything about basketball. >> jimmy: she really doesn't. >> if a basketball rolled into her office she'd call the exterminator. i really -- she wouldn't know. i said to her, jill, you don't know anything about basketball. it would be nice if you won, donate the money to charity and she's like, i'd like to do that, but i need a tenth pair of $750
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tory burch thigh-high leather boots. >> jimmy: how selfish. well, some people only think of themselves. >> what's with your hair? >> jimmy: don't worry about it. i'm just happy it's still there. oh, yesterday was the 26th running of the l.a. marathon. tens of thousands of malnourished men and women hoof here in l.a. and as he is every year, my cousin sal was there to make a bad situation even worse. >> cousin sal here. when flash flood warnings are in effect, it's very important for a marathon runner to stay hydrated. that's why i'm helping out by offering bottled water that's nailed to a table. it going to be great. water, water, water. hey, there you go. grab it from the top. take it, go. >> it won't move. >> take it.
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>> it won't get off. >> yeah, but, go, take it. >> i won't move. >> just grab it though. you got to grab it. you got to really -- >> grab some water. there you go. people have been having trouble with that one. >> jimmy kimmel! >> oh, jimmy kimmel. >> there you go, buddy. just grab that one right there. >> [ bleep ]. >> it probably slipped because of the rain. tiger blood! get your tiger blood. chock-full of adonis dna. >> oh, got to have some of that. >> winning, winning, tiger blood. grab some there warlock. there you go. rawr! from siegfried & roy's private stock. i have no idea what's in there. who wants to get sham wowed? let me sham wow you. let me sham wow you. come on. sham wow. you'll say wow every time. sham wow. all right. >> wow. >> excuse me, sir, hey, when you filled out your bracket the other day you forgot to pick a winner. north carolina/washington. the game starts in, like, a half hour. >> i'm going washington.
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pac-10 all the way. >> have you seen the way they shoot free throws? >> it's your money. fine. who wants matzo ball soup? come on, grab some. there you go. come on. oh, wow. this is really good. jewish penicillin. who wants some? all right. matzo ball soup. don't be anti-semitic. come on. nice. >> woo! >> matzo ball soup. there you go. wait, wait, you forgot the ball. here, all right. oh, there we go. i'll lead you a little bit. there you go, sweetheart. >> i caught it. yeah! >> chocolate covered sardines. come on. you're running in this weather. you'll do anything. it's both delicious and disgusting. it's brain food. take it, eat it. come on it's just what you need to finish. congratulations. you're the 5,000th runner.
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you win a plasma tv. take it, go. go. good for you. go. go, go, go. i wonder if someone will take something bigger. congratulations. you're the 10,000th runner. you win a grandfather clock. >> thanks. >> go, buddy, go! you got all the time in the world! >> jimmy: hey, cousin sal, everybody. be right back with liv tyler.
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>> jimmy: hi there. we're back. still to come, mark cuban and brett dennen will be here. our first guest tonight is a fine actress and daughter of one of the judges on "american idol." i think randy jackson, i'm not exactly sure which. you know her from "armageddon" "lord of the rings" trilogy and many other films. her new one with rainn wilson is
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called "super," it opens april 1st. please welcome liv tyler. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look great. how are you? >> good. how are you? >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> nice to see you. >> jimmy: is it true your dad is waiting in the parking lot for you? >> he -- well, i think he said -- it'll interesting to see if he's on time because he can be late often but i have a premiere for "super" tonight and he said he was going to come to pick me up and be waiting in the alleyway for me. which i thought was very sweet. >> jimmy: i feel like he dropped you off for a play date with me or something. >> it's so rare we're in the same place at the same time and that we get to kind of do things like that. >> jimmy: you guys live on different coasts, huh? >> he's living here now. >> jimmy: with the "american idol" and all. you don't live together anymore. no? i was thinking about it today
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and i was trying to imagine if steven tyler was my dad, because my dad looks exactly like wolf blitzer. so you just kind of get the idea -- our dads are a little bit different. >> how different they are. >> jimmy: i was thinking about him -- like really your dad dresses very like hip and he's got all the scarves and the whole thing. >> the outfits can be outrageous. i mean it's so fun -- he has this huge closet at home at his house which is amazing -- it's like a giant -- >> jimmy: how big is the closet. >> it is so big. he kind of took apart a few rooms and made -- it's like a giant -- it's like a treehouse though because there's all these posts that are like trees with branches and then the scarves and all the -- >> jimmy: he's got trees in his closet? really? it's like a forest of scarves in his closet. >> it is. and then some of the trees are like owls and eagles and things. it's kind of amazing to browse through there. i often want to steal some bits and bobs that have been around for awhile. >> jimmy: does he let you take whatever you want if you spot something that you might want?
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>> sometimes. no, i would always ask. occasionally steal a t-shirt or something, but -- >> jimmy: wow, that's something else. trees in the closet. i've never heard of that before. how old is your son now? >> my son is 6. >> jimmy: does that kind of compute grandpa is different than other grandpas? [ laughter ] >> it's funny because he has no idea who steven tyler is, you know, like the idea of steven tyler, but ever since he was a little baby, he just moments when papa steven comes around. and there's something to him, he finds him so special. it's kind of interesting. >> jimmy: sure, yeah. >> but my dad last an indoor pool at his house that he built a few years ago that milo calls hawaii. and milo is obsessed when i tell you that he morning, noon and night is planning an exodus and an escape to get to hawaii. >> jimmy: to hawaii. >> i keep trying to tell him, well, papa is not there, he's
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shooting "american idol," let's watch "american idol" so you can see. and he recently tried to devise a plan with one of my best friends to attach a trailer to the back of our car and take me out in the night while i was sleeping and put me in the trailer and a very comfortable way and like lock me in and drive me to my dad's house. >> jimmy: your own kid wanted to kidnap you. >> so he can go to hawaii. he wants to go so bad. >> jimmy: of course, it's hawaii. >> you go in a screen door, press a button and hawaiian music comes on. you go down a slide or set of stairs into a game room and then a big indoor poor pool with a cave and water slide. >> jimmy: that's exactly like my grandparents' house except instead of the cave and water slide we had moth balls and "reader's digest" but otherwise identical. that is something else. that is great. what a lucky kid. i guess he doesn't realize it. does he think the other kids have hawaii? >> no, no, he knows the other kids don't have hawaii, yeah. >> jimmy: and are you
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watching -- you were watching "american idol"? >> not every night but i love it. i feel so proud of him and excited and i think the show is really good but sometimes i watch it. >> jimmy: your dad's music, does he run things by you? are you are a barometer for him of sorts? >> he shares a lot. i actually went to his house the other day where he's renting here. we went for a drive in his car. >> jimmy: in the closet? >> and, yes, through the giant closet and we were driving through the hills and in his fancy sports car with the top down. i'm already embarrassed about convertibles in general, but blasting me his new single which -- it's amazing and beautiful but i got -- i had this real like parent/child embarrassment moment where i was like, dad, turn it down like everybody can hear us. and people were waving at him going, hey, steven, and he's like hi. and it was such a crazy moment but i actually got embarrassed.
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>> jimmy: this is a song -- a solo long with aerosmith. >> maybe i'm not even supposed to talk about it but it's something. >> jimmy: don't worry. we'll all keep very quiet. >> it's something that he recorded on his own, yeah but he has actually been recording with aerosmith. >> jimmy: i saw your movie today. >> you did? >> jimmy: yeah, i liked it a lot. it's not your typical superhero movie. that is for sure. in fact it gets very, very crazy. well, the first crazy thing is, you play rainn wilson's wife. which no offense to rainn but that's not happening necessarily. >> he has his charms. so funny. >> jimmy: he has his charms. but how much can you tell us about the movie without ruining it? >> i mean basically it's about this man rainn who is kind of a lonely reclusive kind of guy and he meets this woman and i come to work in a diner. i think that's the clip that you have and we have a connection and we kind of fall in love and i have just gotten out of, you know, recovery as an addict so i'm vulnerable and we kind of
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bond. and then i leave him and i go off with kevin bacon, who is a drug dealer, and he is so devastated. and he goes to the police to tell them i've been kidnapped but actually i've cleaned the whole closet out, and i'm gone and i've left of my own will. and he decides to become a superhero in order to come and find me and then it becomes a whole thing where he and ellen page become side kicks. >> jimmy: works in the comic book store. >> she helps him a lot. >> jimmy: we've heard this regular guy become superhero but this one is not like any of those and we have a clip here that i think gives a little sampling but you'll have to see the whole film to really understand what's going on. >> this is one of our only moments where you actually see that we had a connection because it's in a flashback. >> jimmy: the moved is called "super." it opens april 1st. >> you're different to other guys i've known. you're good.
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come here. >> what? >> i want to try something. >> what? >> come here. >> jimmy: so you can see why he thinks he's a superhero all of a sudden. [ cheers and applause ] very nice to see you. your dad is waiting in the car. i know you have to get to the premiere. thanks for being here. liv tyler, everyone. "super" opens april 1st. we'll be right back with mark cuban. ♪
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>> jimmy: hi there. you caught me scratching my head. still to come, brett dennen will be here. our next guest is a self-made zillionaire, with a "z," who is now giving back to budding entrepreneurs by telling them their ideas are terrible. his show is called "shark tank" and you can watch it friday nights at 8:00 on abc. please welcome nba owner and former celebrity dancer mark cuban. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: mark. >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: you're still rich,
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right? because usually when people go on reality shows it means something bad has happened in their lives. >> i mean last time i talked to my banker things are good. >> jimmy: and like what's your atm withdrawal limit? >> you know what, i actually got the slip out. you know if it asks if you want a receipt because i didn't know how much i had in there so i checked, i had $165,000 in my checking account. >> jimmy: in your checking account? is that a good idea? >> but you always look over top because i didn't know. >> jimmy: that's great for people to know when they choose to rob you. how is everything going? everything all right? >> life is good. >> jimmy: you got the team going. >> just made the playoff 11 years in a row. 50 wins 11 years in a row. that's pretty good. >> jimmy: you do a very cool thing. i don't know that i'd want to do this myself but you give people your e-mail address and they can contact you and you just will give it to pretty much anyone. >> mark, m-a-r-k, at hd.net. >> jimmy: that's your personal
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e-mail address? >> that's my personal e-mail and no one else sees it but me. >> jimmy: you get like what, correspondence, complaints. >> everything. complaints from customers. business ideas. pictures of people's moms. i mean, some of the dumbest, craziest things ever. >> jimmy: and you will respond -- you can't respond to all of them. >> no, no. but if it's interesting and a good reason to respond. if your a mavs season ticket holder, i'll respond. >> jimmy: what kind of complaints do you get from people? >> typically about me, you know, i didn't do this. make this trade. or, the worst one is, if i'm cursing at a game, if you've seen me at a game, you know i get kind of animated. i don't always look to see if there's little kids around. so, i've gotten complaints from parents, like, i brought my 7-year-old and like i had to explain to them, would you please not say those things so now -- >> jimmy: do you watch yourself? >> now i have to watch myself. >> jimmy: you do, yeah. >> yeah, because it was costing me business.
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i've been very creative. when i'm yelling at the refs, it's like, shinola, sugar honey iced tea. you know? >> jimmy: so the kids are becoming diabetics. [ laughter ] well, that's something else. i have to say, though, if you're the team owner and you're yelling things, like, if the owner of abc was sitting in the audience yelling things at me, i think i would be disturbed by that. >> people think i'm disturbing themselves. >> jimmy: are you planning to buy the new york mets? >> maybe. >> jimmy: maybe. >> but, you know it's interesting. it would be -- i'd like it. it would be a cool idea but i don't think it's going to happen simply because it requires writing an $800 million or more check. >> jimmy: that was my problem with buying them too. >> it's a big check. >> jimmy: huge. >> i've been through this before and call me crazy but when i write an $800 million check, i want someone to kiss my ass, right? i don't want to have to beg and grovel to write that check and, you know, the whole situation
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with the mets and everything, i don't think that's going to happen. i think they might put it out to bid if they're going to sell it. i'm not going to through that process. >> jimmy: do you have 800 million -- could you write an $800 million check? oh, my. wow! >> can i just tell you -- can i just tell you something very, very important. somebody has got to be the luckiest person in the world and i'm just glad it's me, you know. when i die, i want to come back as me. >> jimmy: wow, wow. >> you know. >> jimmy: that is unbelievable. >> i'm the luckiest guy in the world and i count my blessings every day. >> jimmy: this show "shark tank," you go on the show and you decide whether you like an idea enough to put your own personal money behind that idea and you guys, the other sharks, on the show actually do put a lot of money behind it so if somebody comes out and says i have an idea, i'll give you 10% of it for $100,000 and then you say, well, i'll take 20% of it for 75 or i'm not interested or i'm out and all this stuff.
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i have some great ideas. i can find some really good ways to spend your $800 million. >> i want to make more money. >> jimmy: a casino, all these casinos have a theme. this theme is hell. hell the casino. we have fire. we have demons, we have, you know, all sorts of synagogue on. snakes -- there's a snake pit. hell the casino. how was vegas, oh, it was hell! [ applause ] . yeah? 200 million maybe for that. >> so what are your other ideas. >> jimmy: all right. an all-marshmallow breakfast cereal. >> oh, oh. >> jimmy: that's good. >> because i hate having to pick it owl. >> jimmy: lucky charms, you get right to the marshmallows. that's something we could work on together. >> you know, yeah, absolutely. >> jimmy: i have an idea for a valet parking service. i hope it's not too small for you but it's called ballet parking.
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now -- we do, we put the unfortunate parkers in tutus and little ballet slippers and then you hand them your keys and then they maybe pirouette into the car. and then they drive away and people all remember, oh, the ballet parkers, they're the best. >> my job to be critical about business ideas. >> jimmy: there's nothing to criticize there it's perfect. >> where do they put the tips. >> jimmy: i don't know. in the tutu. the pocket tutu. another idea. >> the pocket tutu. what's that running down your l leg? it's my pocket tutu. i'll give you i guess that's probably $30,000 for 40% of the company. >> jimmy: i'll take it. >> done. i'll go to the atm. >> jimmy: i thought of this the other day because i was thinking, you know, on oprah now, people own monkeys, they're tearing people's heads off and stuff like that? if there was some sort of like on the plane, you know they have those life vests that instantly inflate, they're inflatable. some sort of inflatable monkey
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restraint device for owners of monkeys. >> monkey's -- pop, right? >> jimmy: you just -- it doesn't hurt the monkey but all of a sudden the monkey is immobilized. >> better yet, you make it so they bounce, right. you go from protecting yourself to playing monkey ball. >> jimmy: this is why we're great business partners together. >> and a monkey hoop. it blows up. >> jimmy: the ideas -- they just fall like rain. it's perfect. think about those things. you don't have to give me an amount right now. this is not "shark tank" but i would like you to get back to me by the end of the week. >> monkeys. done. >> jimmy: speaking of business ideas, i heard, i don't know, that you've been talking to charlie sheen. >> yep. >> jimmy: what kind of a venture are you discussing with charlie? >> a lot of different things. charlie is a smart guy. >> jimmy: charlie is a really smart guy. >> he doesn't get near the credit he deserves -- >> cuban! cuban! [ cheers and applause ] >> how are we doing? how are we doing? how are we doing?
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come on, [ bleep ], up! up. up. >> jimmy: hey, charlie. how are you? [ cheers and applause ] >> man, yes. i'm flustered. how are you? good to see you. well, welcome. i feel like i'm about to wake up. uh-oh. that's -- oh, that's brett dennen. that charlie, he's always giving. giving and giving and giving. this is -- wow. [ cheers and applause ] this is exciting.
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that's the band. >> that's the only one in the world. >> jimmy: you should borrow the band for the talk show that you're doing. i mean it's always better with a band. >> pack it up right now, damn it. i can't stay. i can't stay, sorry. >> jimmy: i know you're very shy. >> guys. silence. i have a show to write, damn it. dude, you forgot your merchandise at the house again. >> again? >> look at this. >> jimmy: what does your wife think -- >> shameless plugs. here. >> jimmy: you got your t-shirts. >> you know the rule. if you don't bring enough for everybody -- >> i brought plenty, [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: i had this dream before and it doesn't end well. >> ah, yes, me, too, but mine ends well. oh, wait. there's a couple more. little sore. there you go. there you go. >> jimmy: let me have a look at one of those. let me hold it up. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: what is this? >> i'm keeping this one. >> there you go. there you go. >> jimmy: that's cute. this one -- this makes a statement and it's adorable, too. i have tiger's blood in me. now, see, this is something i would invest in. >> absolutely. >> yes, indeed. >> jimmy: you getting enough sleep? >> your lips are very moist. yes, my man. i brought you a gift. i brought you a very -- it's a mug. >> jimmy: all right. >> it's got a fox on it. >> jimmy: why a fox -- >> i'll let you -- >> oh, wait a minute.
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>> i got to go! i got to go. my man. right on. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: charlie sheen. >> i got to go. >> jimmy: we're not even dating. >> nothing to do with anything. >> jimmy: well, unfortunately, we're out of time but -- >> shocking how that happened. >> jimmy: you have a very weird life. you really do. >> crazy. >> jimmy: mark cuban, everyone. "shark tank" here on abc. right back with brett dennen.
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>> jimmy: this is his album. it's called "lover boy." here with the song "sydney, i'll come running," brett dennen. >> okay, all right. come on. ♪ sydney, whenever you feel unhappy ♪ ♪ all you have to do is call me ♪ ♪ i can make you late ♪ sydney, i know that you were wrongly accused ♪ ♪ i hope you don't lose your sense of humor allegations made ♪ ♪ in the school yard soccer moms gossiping the dog park ♪ ♪ their bark is worse than their bite ♪
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♪ they're only a couple of crazy cougars ♪ ♪ they're bored and spreading their desperate rumors you know that ♪ ♪ i was never that cool but i won't be taken for a fool ♪ ♪ if they wanna talk trash they can talk, talk, talk but they better come correct ♪ ♪ and if you ever need me call me ♪ ♪ i'll come runnin' straight to you ♪ ♪ straight from the airport i'll come runnin' ♪ ♪ cut through the customs line i'll come runnin' ♪ ♪ bust down the courthouse doors i'll come runnin' ♪ ♪ sydney, i will testify i'll come runnin' ♪ ♪ sydney, i will testify to ya to ya to ya ♪ ♪ we were in the basement, just giving our blood on stage ♪ ♪ and pretending that we were famous ♪ ♪ while you were getting framed ♪
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♪ i went back to my room in surrey hills, yes i did ♪ ♪ i didn't know you were in trouble ♪ ♪ until you came in just as skinny as a twig ♪ ♪ in my kitchen and told me i was looking at a dead man ♪ ♪ i said, sydney you're wrong ♪ ♪ there's a lot of good people living in l.a. ♪ ♪ yes there are and we won't let nobody take you away ♪ ♪ no we won't, you know ♪ i was never that cool but i won't be taken for a fool ♪ ♪ if they wanna talk trash they can talk, talk, talk but they better come correct ♪ ♪ and if you ever need me call me ♪ ♪ i'll come runnin' straight to you ♪ ♪ straight from the airport i'll come runnin' ♪ ♪ cut through the customs line
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i'll come runnin' ♪ ♪ bust down the courthouse doors i'll come runnin' ♪ ♪ sydney, i will testify i'll come runnin' ♪ ♪ sydney, i will testify i'll come runnin' ♪ ♪ i will testify i'll come runnin' ♪ ♪ will testify to ya, to ya, to ya to ya ♪ ♪ sydney, whenever you think you need me, call me up ♪ ♪ and i'll come runnin' straight to you ♪ ♪ i was never that cool but i won't be taken for a fool ♪ ♪ if they wanna talk trash they can talk, talk, talk but they better come correct ♪ ♪ and if you ever need me you just call me i come runnin' to ya ♪ ♪ straight from the airport i'll come runnin' ♪ ♪ i'll cut through the customs line i'll come runnin' ♪ ♪ bust down the courthouse doors
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i'll come runnin' ♪ ♪ sydney, i will testify i'll come runnin' ♪ ♪ sydney, i will testify i'll come runnin' ♪ ♪ i will testify i'll come runnin' ♪ ♪ will testify to ya, to ya, to ya i will testify ♪ hmhmhmhmhmhmhmhm
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