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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  April 1, 2011 12:00am-1:05am PDT

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they're taking a big snowstorm. until tomorrow night then, good night, america. >> dicky: up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: they found that egyptian cobra that had gone missing from the bronx zoo today. turns out it was in lindsay lohan's purse. >> dicky: david beckham. >> jimmy: it is possible you are getting more handsome each time i see you? >> dicky: wes craven. and music from sum 41. >> tonight, i can report that we have [ bleep ] gadhafi's [ bleep ].x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- david beckham. director wes craven. and music from sum 41. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, mark my words, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: hi there. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching, thank you for being here. and supporting me through this difficult time. i need to know something in advance. are you going to be laughing me or at me, because i'll leave if it's the latter. you know what i could use right now? a delicious fortuna cigarette. it's a cigarette that smell s like fish. in most of the country, it's after midnight now which means it is april fools' day in most of the country. don't forget to set your roommate's clock forward an hour. this is a fun day to pull pranks on your kids especially. my kids were little, i think they were in first and third grade, i came downstairs in my underwear, with shoes on and told them, get in the car, let's get to school. and they went crazy. dad, you're in your underwear. i said, no i'm not. and then i was arrested. [ laughter ]
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here's a fun prank to pull on your children tomorrow. instead of, it's a simple thing. instead of a sandwich, put a shoe in their lunch. most kids can stand to lose a few pounds anyway, let's be honest. they found that egyptian cobra that went missing from the bronx zoo today. turns out it was in lindsay lohan's purse. [ applause ] that's right. she stole a snake from the zoo. it was actually right where they thought it would be, inside the reptile house. it's an adolescent female cobra. that found her coiled up in a corner reading "twilight" listening to justin bieber on her ipod. here's a fun fact. this cobra, it turns out it weighs three ounces. the city of new york was terrorized by a three-ounce snake. that's a lot of fear for something that weighs less than a snickers bar. i'm not sure i believe they caught it. i think maybe attendance at the zoo was down because people were
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worried. so, they just grabbed a random cobra. oh, here it is, right where we thought. i guess everyone can come to the zoo now this weekend. hey, since it is april pool's day. i thought it would be fun to give you a little home work. we do a lot for you here and you do almost nothing for us, but -- i would like you to make a video, i would like you to surprise a friend or loved one with a rubber snake and then videotape it and post that video to youtube, label it hey, jimmy kimmel, i surprised someone with a rubber snake. so i can find it. and then we'll pick the best ones and put them on the show on monday night. don't hurt anyone, don't destroy property, don't use a real cobra. just give them a little scare. it will be fun. for us, not for them. and don't fake it because i can always tell when it's fake, all right? the snake was a very big story in new york. so big that it somehow managed even to squirm its way into the weather report. >> snakey snakey.
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snakey snakey. snakey -- i got something for you! i'm going to pound you with two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen, as we stroll on in through the nighttime hours. and then, i'm going to drop the snow hammer upon you, upon that scaly little tail pipe of yours. >> jimmy: glennbeck is a meteorologist now, too? i think the venom already reached his brain. it was very warm here today in l.a. it was 92 degrees today. an all-time record for this day of the year. it was so hot david beckham has decided to do his interview tonight without a shirt, so -- [ cheers and applause ] you're in luck, ladies, and some gentlemen. while it is hot here, it's snowing on the east coast. half the country is too hot, half is too cold.
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i think we're going through m menopause as a nation. the heat was very welcome at baseball stadiums across the country. today was opening day for major league baseball. the pirates and royals have already been eliminated. larry king's going to throw out a first pitch at the washington nationals game on saturday. and then afterwars, this is cool, they're going to bury him under the pitcher's mound. the nationals asked president obama to throw out the first pitch at today's game, but he declined, because he's a muslim that hates america's national past time. either that or he's busy with libya. instead, the nationals gave the honor to five officers representing each oaf the five branches of the military. now here they are. army, navy, air force, marines and coast guard, too. and they all got to go out on the field, which is a pretty cool thing and throw out the first pitch for the washington nationals game, and unfortunately -- those are
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called air strikes, when they are delivered by the military. it was elimination night on "american idol." two contestants were eliminated. thea and naima. they eliminated them because their names are too hard to say. no one knows. for april fools' day, they should have just eliminated everyone. how is it that two people were e eliminated tonight and there's three months left of the show. i feel like i have to watch it because it's the biggest show on television, steven tyler who i become more and more fascinated. they're paying him to be a judge on the show, but he doesn't judge anybody. he just compliments them and then undresses them with his eyes. and with that, we bring you another installment of steven tyler's creepy leer of the night. >> haley, you closed the show with "bennie and the jets."
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jennifer said amazing. steven said sexy. >> jimmy: it's crazy. someone needs to arrest his eyeballs. [ applause ] what's going to happen if there are only guys left at the end of the season? will he even finish the season out? or will he be forced to do something like this? >> just goes to prove what a well-placed chorus will do. you sing sexy. >> jimmy: he's an equal opportunity. i have an idea to make the rest of the season go faster. that kid, we get it, we know what he does. he sing as country version of every song. he doesn't have to be eliminated, but he doesn't need to sing anymore. give us our lives back, will you? there's a new interview with paris hilton, who apparently was in mexico promoting a new shoe line and hand selecting new nanny for her chihuahua. but paris hilton spoke to the
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associated press and she told them that she's met all her professional goals and that, quote, there's nothing else to do. maybe she meant there's no one else to do. [ laughter ] i guess that's good there's nothing else to do. this is why it's important to set reasonable goals for yourself. if your goal is to go to the moon, you're probably going to be disappointmented. but if your goal is to buy hand backs and stand in places, you're all set. you know, we could make her the official state pothole filler. that's something that needs to be done. she met all her goals and now paris hilton plans to gracefully step aside so that younger women can crash their cars and not wear underpants. that's nice. love was in the air this morning at "live with regis and kelly." carrie ann inaba was filling in her kelly. at the end of the show, her boyfriend surprised her with a marriage proposal. watch regis here, because he is so close to the action, i'm
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really not sure who exactly the guy proposed to. >> it's so hard to find the words to express what you mean to me. you're an inspiration. you're wonderful, you're everything to me. will you marry me? >> whoa! >> jimmy: whoa. [ applause ] i'm sure he's engaged to regis. he's marying regis. he's going to be regis philbin-naba. big news for havanilla ice fans today. number one, he still exists. that's good. number two, he's going to play captain hook in a live stage production of "peter pan." the manager of the theater said, and this is a quote, ice is a huge name who i am sure will be a real draw for parents and children alike. and that's absolutely true,
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assuming they are somehow able to put this show on in 1991. vanilla ice -- that's weird. people haven't stopped collaborating and listening to him in 20 years. but i tell you something, he can still light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle. if they can only get the guy who sang "rico suave" to be tinker bell. this is from "the early show." they were kind enough to provide us with our unintentional joke of the day. >> balls can lead to suffocation or drowning. >> jimmy: that's why i'm getting rid of mine. [ applause ] this is pretty funny. this is from "survivor" last night. one of the guys is a farmer named ralph. he's from lebanon, virginia. i haven't seen a lot of ralph. i haven't watch the show. but what i have seen, i think he could be the guy to go all the
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way. >> it would seem to me that's a component of their daily life. >> ralph, that ring true to you, how important it is that the entire group be cohesive? >> well, first, jeff, i don't know what cohesive means. >> well, in your job, you manage a group of guys, right? >> yes. >> would you rather have a dozen guys who are really strong but didn't get along very well or dozen guys maybe not as strong but man do they work well as a gia unit. >> i disagree. >> jimmy: with what? all right. i think sarah palin may have just found her running mate. have you seen the latest internet baby sensation? you know, the video, the two 18-month-old boys in the kitchen babbling to each other? well, it's very cute. we found out today that the twins, we thought were twins, are actually triplets.
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>> hola, babies. [ babies yelling ] [ laughter ] >> okay, i'm bored. see you guys later. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we promised guillermo when he started working here we would let him wear a diaper on the show at least once a week. we kept that promise, right? >> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: like most prominent viral video sensations, the boys appeared on "good morning america" today, with their parents, of course. they're too young to fly to new york alone. >> this is ren this is sam.
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>> da da. >> who is he imitating there? is that you? >> da da. >> jimmy: that explains where they got it from, with the parents. and one more thing. it's thursday night, and that means it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc, where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> welcome back to "dancing with the stars," our first results show of the season. so far tonight, we've [ bleep ] eight [ bleep ]. >> moammar gadhafi told the people of libya that his troops were on the way, they would show no mercy and they would [ bleep ] them in their [ bleep ]. >> i have a story to tell you. when i was 4, i got [ bleep ] by a lam ma. so, just a warning, they do [ bleep ] and it was projective [ bleep ]. i was traumatized. >> you boys know each other.
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let's see you [ bleep ] like your lives depended on it. >> we have to make this look good. don't hold back. >> are you ready to rock? who's ready to [ bleep ] my face? >> i learned patient and learned to understand myself. i don't want to [ bleep ] girls anymore unless they're paying me. >> beyonce [ bleep ] her father? >> it is time for libya's moammar gadhafi to [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. >> and tonight, i can report that we have [ bleep ] gadhafi's [ bleep ]. >> you keep singing like that and you'll be able to afford the rest of that dress. [ laughter ] >> if you were me, who would you [ bleep ]? >> well, i'm going to take the opinion of everybody else, i would [ bleep ] me. >> you would? >> certainly. [ bleep ] me. >> jimmy: well, we've got a good show for you tonight. director wes craven is here with us. we have music from sum 41. and we'll be right back with david beckham, so stick around. if i ask sheila out?
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of course not. we broke up 6 months ago. but i don't think she'd go for a guy like -- [ ping! ] she says she'd love to. [ ping! ] she can't wait to see me. [ ping! ] she's wanted me to ask her out for over a year now! [ ping! ] she just sent me a video. [ girl's voice ] hi stephen, can't wait for our date! oh, can i see that? aah! [ male announcer ] in the network, sparks fly faster. at&t is getting faster with 4g. rethink possible. add listerine® total care for more complete oral care. ♪ it works in six different ways to restore enamel, strengthen teeth, freshen breath, help prevent cavities, and kill bad breath germs for a whole mouth clean. so go beyond the brush with listerine® total care. the most complete mouthwash. and for visibly whiter teeth, try listerine® total care plus whitening.
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>> jimmy: hi there. welcome back. tonight on the show, a man who has given us nightmares for 40 years. his new movie is "scream 4." director wes craven is here. and then, with music from this, their fifth album. it came out this week. it's called "screaming bloody murder."
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sum 41 from the bud light outdoor stage. next week on the show, we've got a good week. katie holmes, dana delany, christian slater, dr. drew pinsky, norm macdonald, elisha cuthbert, vin diesel, neve campbell, the latest cast off from "dancing with the stars." and we'll have music from the decemberists, funeral party, ellie goulding, and bad religion. so join us next week, too. our first guest tonight is one of the most famous athletes in the world. you can see him and his amazing right foot bending it alongside other members of the l.a. galaxy when they play the philadelphia union in carson, california, on saturday. please say hello to david beckham. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: how is everything? >> very good. very good. >> jimmy: is it possible that you are getting more handsome each time i see you?
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i hear you got the whole gang here with you. >> yeah. two of the boys and victoria is here but my oldest son is at soccer tryouts so -- >> jimmy: tryouts? what? he has to try out? >> i think he'll be all right. i think he'll be all right. >> jimmy: that's totally unacceptable. i like that are you calling it soccer. have you got used to calling it that? >> i practiced it before i came out. >> jimmy: congratulations. i know your wife is currently pregnant with child. >> yes, she is. >> jimmy: a girl this time? >> yeah, a little girl. >> jimmy: three boys. >> yeah, three beautiful boys and we're ecstatic, obviously, to have another one on the way, but when we first found out, you know, we went for the scan, they said, oh, it's a boy. great, another penis in the house. she thinks there's too many in the house already. >> jimmy: another penis in the house. we went back for the next scan and they said, oh, we think it's a girl. so it was like, okay, well, that's amazing.
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the final scan, it's definitely a girl. so -- incredible. we're -- >> jimmy: that's great. [ applause ] and your boys are brooklyn, romeo and cruz, right? have you picked a name for the daughter yet? >> we've got a few in mind but we've said to the boys, you know, give us some ideas, and when we got told it was a boy, one of the boys was like, they said, you know, my middle son romeo, he was like, well, you know, how about justin bieber as a name. justin bieber beckham. >> jimmy: that would be the most famous baby in the history of the world. justin bieber beckham. >> now that it's a girl, he's like, how about justine bieber beckham? but no, we're thinking. >> jimmy: wow. he likes justin bieber? >> they, yeah, the two youngest are huge fans.
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>> jimmy: and they have met justin? >> they met him, we went to a concert a few months back and they loved it. >> jimmy: because you can get them to, like, deliver a pizza to the house if you wanted to, right? you could probably get him to mow your lawn. >> i was on the way to school dropoff the other day and my youngest was like, do you think we can have a play date with justin bieber? i think he's a little bit busy. >> jimmy: yeah, wow. so, you drive the kids to school yourself? >> yeah, every day. >> jimmy: you do? wow. >> and pick up, of course. >> jimmy: wow. yeah, well, you know what, that's interesting, because here in los angeles, the tradition is, we have foreigners drop our children off at school for us. but technically, you are a foreigner, so i guess you have to -- >> very true. >> jimmy: drop your own kids off. do the other parents, like, flip out a little bit when they see you pulling up in the mini van? >> not really. something that we've always done, wherever we've been, in london, or in spain when we lived there and here, you know,
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it's something -- i'm lucky enough in my job to be able to do with my schedule, take them in the morning, train, come back, pick them up. >> jimmy: and the kinds, are they competitive? >> very, very. >> jimmy: so do they play other sports besides soccer? >> they love playing baseball, american football, basketball, you know, they're into all the sports. but the moment, every day want to play soccer, which is great. >> jimmy: you like that, right? do you worry, oh, boy, if they start playing other sports? >> i don't mind. whatever sport they want to play. it's important for kids to be involved in sportses it keys them healthy, fit. and keeps them out of trouble, as well. especially with team sports, it's great to be part of a team. it's great for, you know, character building and, you know, as long as they are involve in sport i'll be happy. >> jimmy: you say sports keep people out of trouble? that's not the case with most of our athletes here in the united states. now, i know you are friendly with gordon ramsay, the chef who
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screams at everyone on fox all the time. and he's a tough character. i don't really imagine you two -- what do you do together? >> well, he's over here a lot so we go out, we, you know, we go for dinners, we go to the beach with the kids. he comes -- he's got four beautiful kids, so they all come over and just have play dates with our boys and -- >> jimmy: and he yells at everyone? >> no, the kids -- when the kids, when he came over the first few times, the kids were like, is he going to swear? no, i think he'll be all right. no, we were away at new year and -- >> jimmy: what did you do? >> we went so -- we were in london, we were in london, and we went to this place where it's kind of a small ranch and there's a big kitchen there and it was really homely, nice, big fire and me and gordon was cooking, pizzas -- >> jimmy: you cooked with him? >> i did. he didn't shout. >> jimmy: did he criticize? >> he didn't. >> jimmy: he didn't try to burn
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you or hit you with a pan? >> i was expecting it, as well. maybe because the kids were around. >> jimmy: or maybe he knows you'll kick him in the head. >> true. >> jimmy: he mentioned that you guys went on a camping trip together. >> we did. >> jimmy: are you a camping type of guy? >> i love it. i did it as a kid. >> jimmy: is it real camping? >> yeah, tents, fires, smores, everything. >> jimmy: you did it around here? >> it was about an hour away. it shouldn't mention the place. >> jimmy: why? >> i was terrible. gordon was working during the day. i unpacked everything, i got everything ready for when he arrived. the tents were perfect. and i sent him a message, i was like, this place is not what you're going to think it is. it's not a great place. so he arrived, and he was like, actually, yeah, you're right,
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it's terrible. but we stayed there for the kids. we cooked, you know, we slept the night and we woke up at 5:00 in the morning to gunshots. >> jimmy: yeah. >> which -- >> jimmy: oh -- >> kind of the sign. >> jimmy: you know what, that's the thing. in the united states, when we go camping, part of it is, we take guns and fire them off. it's a very important part of the tradition. >> yes. >> jimmy: you probably don't have that as much there in england. >> no, no. >> jimmy: it's nothing to fear, in fact, it's like the sound of birds. >> it was definitely the first time. >> jimmy: were you camping in compton, by any chance? because i know you guys do say comp, right? >> no, no. so we packed up our stuff and then we went to san diego, went in stayed in the hard rock cafe hotel. >> jimmy: that's like camping, too. you have a five-year contract, i can't believe this is the last year. seems like you just got here. do you have any idea, i know you probably can't say what you're going to do, but what does your wife want you to do?
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>> she wants me to continue playing, because, you know, she knows i'm happy when i play. >> jimmy: does she want you to play here? >> yeah, she doesn't mind where i play as long as i'm happy and enjoying myself. and i still enjoy it as much as i did when i was 21 and i'm 35 now. for me, there's no reason to stop playing. i'm going to look how i feel after the season. after my bad injury last season i think it's, you know, it took a toll on my bold but you know, i've got myself back fit. i'm enjoying the season so far and -- >> jimmy: the galaxy is 1-1-1 this season so far. >> yeah, we won the first one, drew the second and lost the third. >> jimmy: have things changed a lot as far as the games from when you first came here? >> you know what's great about it, the game is growing. and i saw that, our last home game, you know, it was the weekend where it was never stopped raining, you know, hard rain. >> jimmy: two weeks ago. >> yeah. and during the game, for literally 90 minutes, the whole
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game, the hardest rain i've ever seen and, you know, the stadium was full. so -- >> jimmy: of water or people? >> it was a sellout crowd. >> jimmy: i went to a game last season. it was a lot of fun. and the fans get into it. i was confused. i didn't know what was gone on. >> we've got a good set of fans. and it showed then, you know, the support that they give us. >> jimmy: it would be nice if you stuck around. we would like to have you here. david beckham, everybody. the galaxy versus the philadelphia union on saturday at the home depot center. we'll be right back with wes craven. ♪ singer: there's a big thing... only happens in spring
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>> jimmy: well hello there. we're back. still to come, sum 41. our next guest has directed some of the scariest movies of all time. he is responsible for "a nightmare on elm street," "the hills have eyes," "last house on the left" and the "scream" series. the latest of which, "scream 4," opens april 15th. please welcome wes craven. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: how's everything? i know you're out in the parking lot signing autographs for some of your -- you have fans that are very, very, very into what you don't, don't you? >> yeah, several tried to kill me. >> jimmy: in your genre, it would attract -- how many horror films have you directed now? >> i don't know. over 20, mime sure. >> jimmy: you don't even bother to count them? >> no. >> reporter: you murd >> jimmy: you murdered hundreds of people. >> i consider it just moving them onto a better place. >> jimmy: and with the new "scream" movie, isn't everyone in that town dead now? who -- how is there anyone left to kill? >> housing is very cheap there, so, people keep moving in, you know? >> jimmy: they move in no matter what. you move in new actors and those -- >> couldn't happen to us. where's the kids?
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rk. >> jimmy: do the new actors know if they're going to be killed or not when they agree to work on the film? >> some do, some don't. if they -- if i feel like they're not going to give really genuine expressions and emotions then we just kill them without telling them. >> jimmy: okay. >> it works. >> jimmy: why would you even hire them? you're treating it like it's "survivor". you're not supposed to change gears in the middle of the film. you say, okay, i want to keep this person for maybe five, six, who knows where, you would have to tell them beforehand, wouldn't you? >> one would think. >> jimmy: you would definitely think so. >> but we don't always. >> jimmy: and when the new people come in, you have -- who are the core members of the cast that you have coming back to this fill snm. >> the soul survivors are courteney cox, david arquette and neve campbell. >> jimmy: they are the three. and then when you bring new people in, is there an initiation of any kind? is it like joining a fraternity or something?
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>> well, we used to do a goat, but -- no, we actually have a little thing we do on the set. the first time when an actor is on the set, there is almost always some scene where they have to open a door and our prop guy, j.p., puts on the ghost mask and gets behind the door and the poor actor or actress walks over, okay, romming, you know, and they open the door and j.p. jumps out and scares the hell out of them. >> jimmy: you film this? >> yeah, that's the first take of any given initiation. >> jimmy: that's excellent. >> so we've had some interesting reactions, actually. >> jimmy: are these available to be seen by anyone? >> we're thinking of doing, like, a whole dvd. >> jimmy: absolutely, you should. that would be fantastic. who has been most scared of the people that you've scared? >> oh, anthony anderson -- he'll kill me. he kind of gave out sort of a shriek like a girl and jumped. >> jimmy: please send that to me. >> he stumbled backwards and
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fell over a twin bed in the set and just disappeared down. >> jimmy: he did a fear flip. that's pretty great. do they try to get you back for this? >> no, they don't. they're afraid of me. >> jimmy: how do you get an actor -- because, you know, throughout the movie, you don't think about it when you watch the movie, obviously, but, you know, they're in a panic, how do you get an actor to that place where you have to do take after take after take and they have to be hysterically frightened over and over again? >> we threaten to ban them from craft services. >> jimmy: that's where all the snacks lives. you don't want to be kicked -- >> yes. >> jimmy: with children for instance. are they that good acting that they know how to be that scared? >> i'll tell you my most shameful story. this was actually the -- we'll blame it on the parents. >> jimmy: okay. >> miko hughes, who is the little boy in "nightmare seven."
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had a scene where he had to cry and his parents came up to me and said, miko, and we have a little thing we can do for special moments where you need tears. i said, okay. i thought maybe he's got to pull a hair out of his nose. and it's -- we just -- i just tell miko that his mother died. and his mother is standing right there. >> jimmy: what? >> so, of course, as a director i would never do that, of course i would, so -- on the first take the mother leaves the set and miko, by the way, knows this, it's part of his thing. >> jimmy: it's a thing miko does. >> and as opposed to having j.p. scaring him, the father will go over and say miko, mommy's dead. and then he walked away quickly, and, action! miko would go ahh! >> jimmy: what's going to happen
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when mommy really dies? he's probably not going to believe it. >> he's going to say where's my happy meal. that was his reward. >> jimmy: that would make his mom feel good that he was cured by $1.99 worth of hamburgers. [ applause ] now, in this movie, you have, you have the same, the villain, everything, but though years have passed and we're tweeting and skyping, your killer is still making telephone calls. >> this is a matter of some concern because, you know, like, telephones don't make a sound when you dial now. they don't have busy tones. >> jimmy: texts aren't that scary. >> ghost face just texts me, who cares? >> jimmy: he's old school. and this is ghost face. and now i want to show a picture of the guy who plays, does the voice of ghost face. >> do it quickly. >> jimmy: this is the guy who plays ghost face. >> jimmy: you just blew his
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cover. >> only be scary if you walked into a super cuts and he told you to sit down in a chair. [ applause ] but -- when they're on the phone with him are they really on the phone with him? >> his name is roger jackson, he's a great guy. and that's actually a mask he's wearing there. underneath he's really scary. we sneak him into the set, wherever that is, he shoot in just regular houses, before the actors show up. we spirit roger into the house, we put him upstairs in a room, we put a guard out front and he is actually on the telephone. >> jimmy: why is there a guard? >> so no actor just happens to look for a place to -- whatever, you know, so -- >> jimmy: do play -- >> they never see him. no actor, until now. >> jimmy: until now. i'm sorry i ruined it, but -- >> has ever seen him. >> jimmy: we have a clip here and, do you need to set this clip up? >> it's scary. >> jimmy: it's scary. take a look.
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>> who is this? >> think of me as your director, you're in my movie. don't blow your role. >> what movie? >> same one marnie's in, though her part got cut way back. you've still got a page or two left. chef was the brainy friend, so boring. that character always dies first. >> that's not funny. >> this isn't a comedy. people live, people die. and you better start running. >> jimmy: yeah that is scary. you're right. i saw that earlier in the rehearsal today and i didn't realize that this was the guy doing the voice. but the voice sounded familiar, and this is what the voice sounded to me. >> who is this? charlie sheen. the run i was on made sinatra look like a droopy eyed armless children. >> what movie? >> you borrow my brain for five seconds and just be like, dude, can't handle it. unplug it. it fires away. i don't know, maybe not from
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this particular realm. >> that's not funny. >> shut up. shut up. stop. move forward. wow. what does that mean? winning. >> jimmy: see, he would be good, too, in that, in case something happens. you ever take things out of current events and make them into stories? i think the cobra in the bronx zoo would make for a great movie. >> that's actually "scream five." >> jimmy: great to see you. "scream 4" opens april 15th. wes craven, everybody. we'll be right back with sum 41. there's a lot of home improvement centers out there. but does paying more for less mower really improve anything? you deserve better. that's why sears brought the 2011 craftsman line here -
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>> jimmy: well, this is their new album. it's called "screaming bloody murder." here with the title track, sum 41! ♪ i'm not quite myself these days guess we all come undone ♪ ♪ time to time in different ways ♪ well i have myself to blame guess i don't understand i need help anyways ♪ ♪ ♪
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♪ god's got a plan for me well i'm gonna tell you one thing ♪ ♪ i don't got the patience or the time what can i say i'm no angel ♪ ♪ i'm not forsaken but i can bleed tear me open i believe ♪ ♪ god will send you all to bleed and no one can deceive ♪ ♪ what it's meant to be a bloody murder we will scream ♪ ♪ well i guess it's time for me tell me what i'm left to believe in ♪ ♪ cause i don't know the concept of the pain i don't want the fate i'll just lose it ♪ ♪ i can't prove it watch me bleed tear me open i believe ♪ ♪ god will send you all to bleed ♪
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♪ and no one can deceive what it's meant to a bloody murder we will scream ♪ ♪ god will send you all to tear me open ♪ ♪ ♪ cause i'm not giving up ♪ ♪ no self-control ♪ suffocate into the ♪ and i'm my worst enemy who can't be saved i'm just
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his disgrace ♪ ♪ tear me open i believe god will send you all to bleed ♪ ♪ and no one can deceive what it's meant to an bloody murder we will scream ♪ ♪ god will send you all to tear me open ♪ ♪ these days are strange it's true there's not a thing i would change ♪ ♪ no mistakes that i'd undo .
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not together, anyway. i'm in t.j.maxx every week. i used to think it was old school, but it's not.
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>> jimmy: i want to thank david beckham. i want to thank wes craven. i want to apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "screaming bloody murder," that's the album out now. you can see this pull performance at jimmykimmellive.com. once again, sum 41. good night! ♪
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♪ i can't say ♪ it's obvious you end up this way ♪ ♪ what you ended up today ♪ such a tragedy ♪ don't make sense ♪ you're mind is incomplete ♪ and i can't believe all the things that you say ♪ ♪ you just can't get enough ♪ we'll all be waiting ♪ just for the day ♪ that your time is up ♪ what can i say ♪ guess

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