they'll have much more on the budget deal and, of course we're always online at abcnews.com. have a terrific weekend. good night, america. >> dicky: tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: everybody take off your shirts. let's get this party started. >> dicky: johnny knoxville. >> jimmy: 40 years old, you feel like anything has changed? >> no! >> dicky: music from britney spears. >> ahh! >> dicky: and from "dancing with the stars," psycho mike catherwood. >> jimmy: from now on, i would like britney fans to start calling themselves spear h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ

ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ

ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ ñ >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel for the new lexus convention. right, guillermo? >> right jimmy. the ct hybrid combines the highest fuel efficiency of any luxury car with a surprising agility and is rated at 42 mile per gallon. and it has four drive molds including a sport mode which give you more responsive and engaged ride. >> jimmy: well, that all sounds great and it was beautifully delivered. and it's a beautiful car, too. but why are you upside down? >> because the lexus ct hybrid will turn your idea of what a hybrid should be upside down. so, i'm upside down.

>> jimmy: i see. hybrid is upside down. how are you planning to get out of the vehicle? >> oh, that's easy. in this car, i can do anything. i can eat my cake and eat it too. watch this. >> dicky: the lexus ct hybrid. unexpected, unkoncon vined and unlike any hybrid you've ever known. go to lexus.com/ct for more info. "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with johnny knoxville, from "dancing with the stars," psycho mike catherwood. and music from britney spears. ♪ ♪ unexpected. ♪ ♪ defiant. ♪ ♪ and just what you need to forge your own path. introducing the most fuel-efficient luxury car available. the radically

new... 42 mile per gallon ct hybrid from lexus. ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] april is doubly dee-licious 'cuz the double bacon egg & cheese is the next featured $5 footlong of the month. with crispy bacon and melty cheese it's great for breakfast and it's available all day. in april only it joins our many $5 footlongs. subway. eat fresh. ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] if you want to just push messes around dishcloths are just fine. for a better shot at getting surfaces clean, you'll want bounty extra soft. in this lab test bounty extra soft leaves this surface 3x cleaner than a dishcloth. even with just one sheet. super clean. super soft. bounty extra soft. in the pink pack. and try bounty napkins. macy's is giving somebody a million dollar makeover. we're down to eight contestants now we need you to help us choose the winner on facebook. you could even win a 500 dollar macy's gift card. macy's million dollar makeover.

vote now at facebook.com/macys. >> going to a job interview, i make sure i've got the right guidance. it's the same with my taxes. turbotax has a unique gps feature that guides me step-by-step. and calculations are guaranteed 100% accurate. they even offer audit support. and help me reach my maximum refund, guaranteed. >> man: try turbotax now. what could possibly hold together all the natural energy found in peanuts? caramel works. payday. crunchy roasted peanuts and soft chewy caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. the sweet taste of energy. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- johnny knoxville. from "dancing with the stars", "psycho" mike catherwood. and music from britney spears. with cleto and the cletones.

♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" ♪ >> dicky: and now, having said all that, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, everyone. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. on this special night of television. everybody take off your shirts, let's get this party started. in case you didn't hear the screaming, and see the goodyear blimp outside in the sky, britney spears is here with us tonight. you know what, i hope she didn't bring the snake. i camped out all night to see her even though it's my own show

and i could have walked in. the whole city of west hollywood has moved east into regular hollywood for this event. britney was on "good morning america" this morning. that was big, too. george stephanopoulos was shrieking like a teenage girl. this is britney's second appearance on our show. the first one was a long time -- she hasn't been here in, like, two kids, and -- i will say no one is more excited about britney's appearance tonight than our parking lot security guard guillermo, who is -- oh, there he is. [ cheers and applause ] he's -- where have you been? >> in britney's dressing room. >> jimmy: you were in britney's dressing room? >> yes. >> jimmy: well, i'd like to speak you with after class. >> okay. >> jimmy: what is your favorite britney song, guillermo? >> baby hit me one more time.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you ne what -- i have to say -- it's kind of -- they grow up so fast. britney spears' fans need a good nickname. justin biebers fans are the beliebers. i don't think the fans have, like, an overall title. so, i was thinking about it. from now on, i would like britney fans to start calling themselves spear leaders. it's good, right? [ applause ] let's check in on the madness outside our theater with our music correspondent, my uncle frank. there he is, uncle frank. >> jimmy! hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: hi, uncle frank. >> hi, jim. >> jimmy: how many people are out there right now with you? >> 500. at least 500 or 1,000. >> jimmy: 500 or 1,000. >> yeah, and i got all beautiful girls surrounding me.

>> jimmy: yeah, well -- i think there's more than 500 or 1,000 out there, uncle frank. >> at least 1,000, right? >> jimmy: are you at all concerned for your safety? >> no, no, they're all protecting me. >> jimmy: intoroduce us to some of your friends out there. >> i'll with shelby and -- look at this. what does that say? >> britney spears changed my life. >> and my life, too, jim. >> jimmy: how did she change your life? >> well, i was sick and when i saw her i got better. >> jimmy: yeah. she changed your diapers, is what she changed. >> more or less, that too. i feel great. what a night. >> jimmy: we'll check back in with uncle frank later. he's finally among his people. these are -- [ applause ] you know? last night on nbc they had a concert called "all together now, a celebration of service." to honor former president george h.w. bush. it got beat in the ratings by

univision, which is a spanish channel. but all the former presidents were there, the living presidents, the dead ones weren't invited. and they had quite a list of performers. one of the performers was kid rock. a bush sr. favorite, i'm sure. i don't know who booked this show but the performers were really able to connect with their audience. deep ♪ ♪ like the grandest canyon ♪ ♪ wild ♪ ♪ if you can't see ♪ >> jimmy: the carters are really going wild. [ laughter ] seeing things like that make me think donald trump really could be our president one day. carrie underwood was one of the other performers. the crowd really enjoyed her. in particular, one audience member, who you will see here. >> ladies and gentlemen, carrie underwood. [ applause ] >> jimmy: see, bill clinton

likes girls. that's the same look steven tyler gives the contestants on "american idol." underwood is what he had under his desk in the oval office. [ applause ] thank you. we had a new episode of "dancing with the stars." our first contestant of the season has been thrown into the volcano. "psycho" mike catherwood who somehow managed to overcome not being a dancer or a star to get a spot on the roster. i think that's admirable. he will be on the show later to discuss this. chris brown was on the show, singing, not dancing. doing a little bit of dancing. he was on the show despite his violent attack on furniture at "good morning america" last week. they brought him back to abc. the producers made sure he only had bean bag chairs in his dressing room. hard to throw those throw a window. so far ralph macchio has the highest combined judges score. i would love to see the season end with johnny lawrence handing

ralph the mirror ball trophy and saying, "you're all right, la russo." wouldn't that be good? professional wrestler chris jericho scored well last night despite this unfortunate slip that came at the expense of his partner, cheryl burke. ♪ you can take the wrestler out of the ring, but you can't something. you can see chris this weekend at dancelemania 27. [ laughter ] there's controversy swirling elsewhere in the world of dancing celebrities. natalie portman's body double, her ballet double told "entertainment weekly" that natalie only appeared in 5% of the full body dance scenes in the movie "black swan." for which she won an oscar. there was dancing in "black swan?" i only remember the lesbian stuff. apparently this is a scandal. why, i have no idea. i'm pretty sure leonardo dicaprio really didn't go into

somebody's dreams, either but i still liked "inception." but it does raise questions. how do we know it's really natalie portman's body who that baby is in right now. and was the swan really black or was it born in kenya? [ laughter ] big news today from rosie o'donnell, who announced this morning that when oprah leaves chicago at the end of may, she will move in. rosie is planning to host her new show from harpo studios. oprah cannot stop giving stuff away. she needs an intervention. oprah is going to hand the reigns to rosie, much like when willy wonka turned the chocolate factory over to charlie or when raul castro handed things over, took things from fidel. but that's good news for wherever rosie is living now. she's leaving. [ laughter ] i think this is the weirdest youtube video i've ever seen. this is a video from 1990.

somehow it's alluded me for all these years. it's a musical performance by the kelly family. they are a german-american music family. and this is a song off an album that came out in 1989 called "keep on singing." i'm going to warn you right now, when you hear this, it's going to run in your head for the next year or so, so -- you've been warned. this song is called "i ain't gonna pee pee my bed tonight." ♪ i ain't gonna pee pee my bed tonight ♪ ♪ ain't gonna pee pee my bed tonight ♪ ♪ ain't gonna pee pee my bed tonight ♪ ♪ ain't gonna pee pee my bed tonight ♪ ♪ ain't gonna pee pee my bed tonight ♪ ♪ ain't gonna pee pee my bed tonight ♪ ♪ ain't gonna pee pee my bed tonight ♪ ♪ ain't gonna pee pee ♪ ♪ ain't gonna pee pee ♪ ♪ ain't gonna pee pee ♪ ♪ ain't gonna pee pee my bed tonight ♪

>> jimmy: that is some punishment. [ cheers and applause ] just -- goes to show, doesn't matter what you sing, as long as you sing from the heart or bladder. apparently that's a boy singing, by the way. the guy in the white robe is either god or gandalf, i can't tell which one. we looked into it, and somehow, the kelly family, that family has sold more than 20 million albums. that's more than rihanna has sold, by the way. people love songs about bed wetting, i guess. and you have to hand it to the lead singer this kid, angelo. he may have only been 9 years odd, but he really really knows how to bring it home. ♪ ain't gonna pee pee ♪ ♪ ain't gonna pee pee ♪ ♪ ain't gonna pee pee ♪ ♪ ain't gonna pee pee ♪ ♪ ain't gonna pee pee ♪ ♪ ain't gonna pee pee ♪ ♪ ain't gonna pee pee my bed tonight ♪

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sing it over and over in the hopes that maybe it will stop happening. it's his mantra. that would be a good song for r kelly to cover. [ laughter ] and he's a kelly, too, so it's perfect. the barry bonds trial continued in san francisco today. the former baseball player is being charged with obstruction of justice and perjury for allegedly lying when he claimed he never knowingly used steroids. yesterday, barry's former mistress testified against him. for more than six hours. she claims bonds became increasingly short tempered, he started losing his hair and suffered from impotence as the relationship went on. doesn't that happen in every relationship? why is this a story? she also claimed that his testicles grew smaller and were unusually shaped. like a trombone. [ laughter ] you know when your testicles are being discussed in court, that's never good, is it?

that's rarely a positive. and it's not fair, either, to attack a man's testicles in court. how do you defend yourself? not like your lawyer can call them to the stand. [ laughter ] meanwhile, the nfl lockout continues to threaten next football season. if the league and the players don't come to an agreement by i think next week, the whole season could be canceled. there are a lot of professional football players out of work right now, so we've decided to give some of them jobs here at the show. we can't hire all of them, but one of them right now is working as our new i.t. guy. and from what i hear he's been pretty good so far. >> can you help me with my computer? >> yeah, what's the problem? >> the browser is not loading. >> let me fix that for you. ahh! how is it working now? >> ah, better, thanks. >> call me if you need anything. >> jimmy: you know, he's the best. he really is. [ applause ] you know -- britney spears -- [ cheers and applause ]

i know, i know. she's been here all day rehearsing to entertain you. we got some footage from her sound check. you want to see a sneak peek? all right, roll the tape. ♪ ♪ i ain't gonna pee pee my bed tonight ♪ ♪ i ain't gonna pee pee my bed tonight ♪ ♪ i ain't gonna pee pee my bed tonight ♪ ♪ ain't gonna pee pee my bed tonight ♪ >> jimmy: she's shorter than i remember. [ applause ] the message is, she isn't afraid to reinvent herself. actually do want to check in with britney real quick just to

make sure everything is okay. hang on for a second. i'll be right back. and by the way, you look really beautiful tonight, guillermo. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: all right. these are the bowels of our studio. hey, britney, what's happening? >> hi. >> jimmy: how are you? >> good, how are you? >> jimmy: you have everything you need? >> yes. >> jimmy: i'm very excited you are here. >> me, too. oh, did you get it? >> jimmy: i did get it. i sure did. >> oh my gosh. let me see. >> jimmy: great, right? >> really great. you got it. oh, my god. >> jimmy: you like it? >> i love it. >> jimmy: did you get yours? >> i did. >> jimmy: can i see it? >> yeah, sure.

>> jimmy: it's in pen. >> it's ink. >> jimmy: yeah, ink pen. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i thought it was going to be a little, i don't know, bigger, more -- >> shh, shh, just -- you're getting on my nerves, just -- just -- >> jimmy: okay. but i'll see you later then. >> all right. >> jimmy: okay. um -- we'll be right back with johnny knoxville. >> what's wrong with you? jesus.

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. a man who joins the ranks of jeff ross david hasselhoff and shane shannen doherty as the first celebrity of the season to be stripped of his sequins on "dancing with the stars." "psycho" mike catherwood and his partner lacey schwimmer are here to cry on my shoulder. and then later with this, music from her new album, it just came out today, it's called "femme fatale." britney spears from the bud light outdoor stage. there are about 80,000 britney fans outside waiting to attack. let's check back in with my uncle frank to see how they're behaving. uncle frank -- >> hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: how is everything going out there? >> jim, meet jim.

>> hi, i'm jimmy, i'm britney's biggest fan! >> hey, jim. >> jimmy: uncle frank, why is he so sad? >> i'm happy! >> jimmy: oh, you're happy. how do you know when you're sad? >> enough with the questions, jimmy. >> jimmy: are you wearing a bathrobe? >> no, it's my tuesday lounge wear. >> jimmy: oh, all right. thank you. >> doing great, jim. >> jimmy: have fun out there, uncle frank. thank you jim. >> jimmy: that's uncle frank. [ applause ] who knows, he could come back with a whole new life style. tomorrow night on the show, danny mcbride sara ramirez and music from duran duran. and on thursday, david beckham, wes craven and sum 41. so join us for that. our first guest tonight, against

unbelievable odds celebrated his 40th birthday this month. he is the co-founder of an empire known as "jackass." >> it is nerve wracking as hell because 24/7 when we're shooting, all of us are always attacking each other. i may be attacking everyone a little bit more. >> jimmy: "jackass 3" is available now on dvd and blu-ray. it looks just like this. and "jackass 3.5" premieres april 1st on the website joost.com. please say hello to johnny knoxville. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: look at that. >> hello. >> jimmy: you brought a monster with you. >> yes. when my son was born, jimmy was

nice enough to send a cookie monster and it went to the wrong address so you sent two and this is the second one and i want to give it to this young lady in the audience here. there you go. there's your cookie monster. [ applause ] >> jimmy: it went to the wrong address. >> that's from me and jimmy. you're welcome. >> jimmy: and your son, rocco. that really was his. he could have had a twin cookie monster. >> i just sold him down the river. >> jimmy: not a sex doll. it's a muppet. >> yet. >> jimmy: keep that in mind. it's good to see you. and happy birthday to you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: 40 years old, which -- [ applause ] must bring up all sorts of mixed feelings. in jackass years, that's like 98. >> yeah, 106. >> jimmy: what did you do to celebrate? >> i'm not a big birthday guy. only thing i asked for was no birthday cake and no parties. and that's the first thing i got, you know? >> jimmy: of course.

yeah, because you hang around with crazy people. these are your friends. >> yeah, so you really can't talk sense to them. >> jimmy: in fact, not just your friends that are crazy. here's your daughter bringing you a birthday cake even though she knows you don't want cake. >> that's bad because i'm covering myself in front of my daughter. >> jimmy: what are you doing there? >> it's instinct. anyone gets near me, i cover. >> jimmy: are you worried another daughter might come out? [ laughter ] and then what is this here? >> stop or i'll shoot! >> jimmy: what's going on here? is this a gift basket? >> i got a lot of [ bleep ] gifts for my 40th birthday. >> jimmy: some call them bad gifts. >> my sister and my wife and daughter got me, like, preparation h and rogaine.

but -- my wife's so tight -- how tight is she? >> jimmy: she is, really? [ applause ] she doesn't like to -- >> not actually. but all the [ bleep ] gifts she got me, she kept the receipt and took them back, she's so cheap. >> jimmy: good. it's a waste of money. what's going on there? >> she spelled holy cow wrong. >> jimmy: she didn't bring that one back. >> sorry, baby. going to be a long night for me tonight. >> jimmy: i would think so. do you feel any wiser, do you feel, i mean, at 40 years old, do you feel like anything has changed in your life? >> no! >> jimmy: i didn't think it would. >> i feel like i'm getting a little more forgetful but that's probably because of the concussions. >> jimmy: it could be. >> i had a bunch. but i went to get some tennis shoes at the store the other day, at the beverly center. >> jimmy: the mall. >> i went in the store with my wife and kid, got some tennis shoes. went upstairs to look for another shirt for my boy and i

came out of there and i saw another tennis shoe store and i go in there, try on the same pair of shoes, take them up to the counter to pay for them and when i took out my credit card, it had the christopher reeve moment in "somewhere in time," i saw my credit card and i realized that i just did this ten minutes earlier downstairs. i was going to buy the same pair of shoes. >> jimmy: i hope that's the only christopher reeve moment you ever have. i really do. too soon? too soon? >> oh, oh. the band is just shaking their head over there, jimmy. >> jimmy: shake them too hard and they'll be working elsewhere. [ laughter ] >> you got some great guys in the back, by the way. i was getting ready to walk on the stage, they're like jimmy said he wants you to hit him in the nuts again. that's what they told me. >> jimmy: did you meet my girlfriend, by the way, standing by the door, so provocatively. >> oh, wow. >> hello. [ applause ] >> that's a lot of woman.

>> jimmy: she caught my eye and -- now, how does it work? this "jackass 3.5." this is, like why is it premiering on the web, first of all? >> we shoot enough footage for two films. when we start, we don't want to stop. and we figure all our fans have the same attention span we do so, like it's good in good webisodes. >> jimmy: if i would make this into 11 movies because i wouldn't want to have my, you know, things put in a blender every week, the crazy things that you guys do. i was lucky enough to be apart of your, the .5 part of the 3.5. >> yes. >> jimmy: which is a prank that i found especially unbelievable because your teenage daughter and wife were involved in playing it on you. >> my idea got used against me, jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, this was your idea? >> and it was part -- you were, you know, you're in on it.

>> jimmy: yeah, i was, kind of. >> what happened was, we had $2,000 worth of horsey juice. can we say that on the air? >> jimmy: yeah. the stuff that they use to have little horseys. >> to make other horseys. yeah yeah. so i thought it would be a good idea to put it in everyone's sun screen, when we hand out sun screen on the day. and it got to the end of the movie and i was, like, we haven't shot that yet. and i was very upset and we have a cast and crew screening one night and jimmy shows up at it and at the cast and crew screening i'm talking to everyone, thanking them and jimmy walks up and hits me in the nuts and says "sit down." and they show me footage that actually, we did shoot the bit. they had put the horsey juice on my sun screen and i put it on for, like eight weeks. >> jimmy: a million times. >> eight weeks. >> jimmy: and the best -- i love how, like careful you are with your skin and how just

ridiculously not careful you are with the rest of your body. >> i kept my sun screen with moisture moisturizer, by the way, in my car, where no one could get it. >> jimmy: constantly dabbing yourself. >> just like. and someone told me that it's good for chapped lips, so i would be like -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: really crazy. and that's on 3.5? >> but my skin has never looked better. so i ordered $2,000 more worth of horsey juice. >> jimmy: and your mane is very shiny, also. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: do you know britney spears? >> you know, i do, and actually she was in "jackass 3d." we had to cut the bit because of time but we did film with her. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what did you guys do with her? >> we shot another version of the port-a-potty bungee.

>> jimmy: you wound up cutting that from the movie? >> yeah, we -- we, you know, in films you have to kill your babies, jimmy. >> jimmy: you do? well, fortunately we have obtained, you brought us, you were nice enough to bring us a grip of this. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i thought it would be fun to show the audience here since we have a television show. >> let's see it. >> jimmy: take a look. >> you ready to do this? >> i'm ready. >> scared of roller coasters? >> no. >> heights? >> no. >> are you scared of poo-poo? >> i'm not scared of poopoo? >> what about pee pee? >> i'm not. >> i think she might have this. >> she's ready. wear these. >> all righty. >> oh, yeah. you look lovely. >> let's do it. >> yes. you lead the way. >> your big day. >> you got this. >> so rad. >> hi, i'm britney spears, and this is the poo cocktail supreme. >> hope you're not claustrophobic. >> oh, god. >> she said "oh god." >> put her up!

[ screaming ] >> great job. >> no, no, no. >> you -- >> no, no, no. >> come on come on. hand shake? >> jimmy: there you go. [ applause ] that's johnny knoxville and britney spears. "jackass 3" is available on dvd and blu-ray. "jackass 3.5" premieres april fools' day -- >> on joost.com.

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>> jimmy: hello there. still to come, britney spears will be with us. our next guest is a radio personality, a sometime competitive bodybuilder and now, most significantly, a former celebrity dancer. along with dance partner lacey schwimmer, please say hello to the first victim of this new season of "dancing with the stars." from the world famous kroq, "psycho" mike catherwood. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: good to see you. i'm sorry it had to be under these circumstances. did you think you would make it

this far? >> to be perfectly honest, yes, yes i did. >> jimmy: it seemed like you thought that the guys that you work with at kroq, everyone thought you would be eliminated first and it turned out everyone was right. >> yeah. well, if you base it just on the facts, jimmy, i had far and away the lowest level of celebrity status going in. and i'm a terrible dancer. >> jimmy: those are two strikes. >> and the show is "dancing with the stars." >> jimmy: you had the with the, though. you guys were with each other. >> that's true. >> that stands for something. >> jimmy: is it true abc asked you to tone the chemistry down? >> yeah, but it -- >> jimmy: did they really? how do you do that? >> well, i mean, you wear more clothing, clearly. there's just -- there's body parts that you got to hide and i wasn't aware of that because coming from the world of radio, no one sees me, so -- >> jimmy: you do the show naked. >> i do the show in the nude, like you used to, jimmy.

>> tell them about your special underwear? >> bamboo underwear, made by american hands in hermosa beach, california. clean laundry is the company. they constructed them to give me -- >> jimmy: are you plugging your underwear right now? >> yes. let's just say they add compression to this area, in case there's any unfortunate changes of direction due to, you know, biological reactions -- >> and they definitely don't work. >> jimmy: now that the show is over, can you say, is there any kind of romantic interest between the two of you? >> no, he's hideous. are you kidding? >> jimmy: come on. he's a handsome young guy. >> i was kidding. >> jimmy: is there anything going on between you? please let me know. >> i'd like lacey to answer that, because i'm going to lie and say yes. >> jimmy: so there's not? >> no. >> jimmy: it would be so great if there was a coupling from "dancing with the stars" and never one from "the bachelor." >> it's true.

i think "dancing with the stars," the execs were actually a little disappointed that there was a lack of on-screen chemistry, you know, in the romantic sense so they kind of tried to use lacey and i as their romantic lab rats. >> jimmy: so you are saying it was made up? >> no, they did come to us and say tone it down in your rehearsals but they meant mike, please put clothes on. >> jimmy: you did get naked in the rehearsal. >> yes, i did. >> yep. oh, yeah. >> jimmy: is that allowed? this is a workplace type situation. >> i mean, i guess it is. well, you did get fired today, so -- >> jimmy: you did. >> maybe that was it. >> jimmy: maybe it was an hr decision rather than the audience voting. >> it's true. >> jimmy: i'm very sorry this had to happen but it has to happen to someone. is mike your worst dance partner ever? >> no. steve-o was. >> jimmy: be careful. he's backstage with a port-a-potty. >> i love him to pieces. but yeah, no that was a challenge. >> jimmy: you're still behind steve-o.

>> but he's a member of maybe the most financially successful movie franchise ever and i'm not. >> jimmy: well, you know what, it's yin and yang is what it. right now, guillermo is outside on hollywood boulevard for the ceremonial burning of the capezios. mike, tonight, you were eliminated from "dancing with the stars," and now your shoes must pay the price. guillermo? america has spoken. your dance card has been punched. mike catherwood, lacey schwimmer, everyone. "dancing with the stars," mondays at 8:00, tuesdays at 9:00 on abc. we'll be right back with britney spears.

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>> jimmy: this is her new album. it just came out today. it is called "femme fatale." here with the song "till the world ends," britney spears. ♪ this kitten's got your tongue tied in knots i see ♪ ♪ spit it out 'cause i'm dying for company ♪

♪ i notice that you got it you notice that i want it ♪ ♪ you know that i can take it to the next level, baby ♪ ♪ if you want this good sicker than the remix ♪ ♪ baby, let me blow your mind tonight ♪ ♪ i can't take it take it ♪ ♪ take no more never felt like ♪ ♪ felt like this before come on get me ♪ ♪ get me on the floor deejay, what you ♪ ♪ what you waitin' for ♪ ♪ woah, oh oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ oh, woah oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ woah, oh oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ oh, woah oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ woah, oh oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ oh, woah oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ woah, oh oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ oh, woah oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ watch me move when i lose ♪ ♪ when i lose it hard get you off ♪ ♪ with the touch dancing in the dark ♪ ♪ you notice what i'm wearin' i'm noticin' you starin' ♪ ♪ you know that i can take it to the next level, baby ♪ ♪ harder than the a-list next one on my hit list ♪ ♪ baby, let me blow your mind tonight ♪ ♪ i can't take it take it ♪ ♪ take no more never felt like ♪ ♪ felt like this before come on get me ♪ ♪ get me on the floor deejay, what you ♪ ♪ what you waitin' for ♪ ♪ woah, oh oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ oh, woah oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ woah, oh oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ oh, woah oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ see the sunlight we ain't stoppin' ♪ ♪ keep on dancing

till the world ends ♪ ♪ if you feel it let it happen ♪ ♪ keep on dancing till the world ends ♪ ♪ keep on dancing till the world ends ♪ ♪ keep on dancing till the world ends ♪ ♪ woah, oh oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ oh, woah oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ woah, oh oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ oh, woah oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ see the sunlight we ain't stoppin' ♪ ♪ keep on dancing till the world ends ♪ ♪ if you feel it let it happen ♪

♪ keep on dancing till the world ends ♪ ♪ if you feel it let it happen ♪ ♪ keep on dancing till the world ends ♪ w@

i love america i love my pet baldldagle brock my bison sara, i love my pick-up with the custom constitution paint job... i celebrate jury duty... i love america so much, i'm making an all american jack combo two jumbo patties, with melting cheese, lettuce, tomato and pickles,

plus fries and a drink for only $4.99. i've celebrated every american tradition...except one... spring break cancun yo!!!!!!!! >> jimmy: i want to thank our guests tonight. johnny knoxville, mike

catherwood. and lacey schwimmer. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. tomorrow night, danny mcbride, sara ramirez and music from duran duran. "femme fatale" is out now. playing us off the air with the song "hold it against me," once again, britney spears. good night! ♪ hey, over there please forgive me ♪ ♪ if i'm coming on too strong ♪ ♪ hate to stare but you're winning ♪ ♪ and they're playing my favorite song ♪ ♪ so, come in little closer wanna whisper in your ear ♪ ♪ say it clear little question ♪ ♪ wanna know just how you feel ♪ ♪ if i feel my heart was beating loud ♪ ♪ if we could escape

the crowd somehow ♪ ♪ if i said i want your body now ♪ ♪ would you hold it against me ♪ ♪ 'cause you feel like paradise and i need a vacation tonight ♪ ♪ so, if i said i want your body now ♪ ♪ would you hold it against me ♪ ♪ hey, you might think that i'm crazy ♪ ♪ but you know i'm just your type ♪ ♪ i might be little hazy but you just cannot deny ♪ ♪ there's a spark in between us when we're ♪ ♪ dancin' on the floor i want more ♪ ♪ i wanna see it