of place ♪ >> and smokey's latest album is "time flies when you're having fun." thank you for watching abc news. our friends at "good morning america" will be working while you rest. you can check in with them in the morning or we're always online at abcnews.com. good night, america. >> he said he has a good relationship with, and this is a an quote the blacks. well, not anymore. >> tom arnold. >> i saved the guy's life. >> you did what you . >> alison brie. >> we, mom, i solved two mysteries today. >> and music from francis and lights. >> i w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w ♪

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m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m ♪ >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel welcoming you back to the "shirt awards," brought to you by lands' end, who, after 30 years in the polo business, just redesigned their original mesh polo shirt. and now, here to present the award for best polo shirt ever, legendary explorer marco polo! [ applause ] >> marco! >> audience: polo! >> marco! >> audience: polo! >> i love that.

i am marco polo. the nominees for best polo shirt ever made are -- lands' end original mesh [ applause ] a polo my daughter gave me. [ applause ] a polo my other daughter gave me. [ applause ] polos made by various other clothing manufacturers. [ applause ] and the winner is -- lands' end! [ applause ] wow, this is a nice shirt.

i am glad to have you named after me! marco! >> audience: polo! >> dicky: get exclusive savings on the best polo since marco. just visit the lands' end facebook page and "like" lands' end. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with alison brie, music from francis and the lights and tom arnold. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ it's better when you mix things up. fuze peach mango. fruit flavors and nutrients in every bottle. when ford swaps your ride, you tend to talk about it. a lot. you've had the escape for a week.

i was a honda guy for a long time. the escape actually has great gas mileage. i need something fuel-efficient. it's very important. i'm an adrenaline junkie. i keep a ton of stuff in my car. you have park assist in that, right? you take your hands off the wheel! it's crazy. how's that work on your honda? what honda? swap your ride and get a fuel-efficient ford escape with 0% financing plus $500 cash back. i think we need to try it a little longer. 'bout a year. what makes a hershey's bar pure? ["melt with you" playing] pure fun. pure joy. pure delicious chocolate. pure hershey's. my name is theresa ayres and this is my quilt shop. i don't like doin' taxes. i did them online.

there was a lot that i'd guessed at, and i have a feeling i guessed wrong. [ announcer ] don't leave money on the table. h&r block. never settle for less. our latest dish was inspired at our cooking school in tuscany. each year, olive garden sends over 100 of us to study the art of italian cooking. all we learn, we share with you. like our new soffatellis. herb cheese filled puff pastries with sauteed chicken breasts or with braised beef. at your olive garden. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- tom arnold. from "scream 4," alison brie. and music from francis and the lights. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's jimmy kimmel live ♪ and now, heading this way here's jimmy kimmel!

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi everyone, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for being here. you know staples i forgot to tell you how much i love you but i want you to know i do okay? the tax deadline is usually april 15th but the government extended it to the 18th this year because i couldn't get my stuff together. they're actually -- they're pretty reasonable if you just talk to them about it. so now you get to spend the whole weekend convincing the waitress at denny's to give you a reset for a $10,000 meal. i wonder what the most anyone's ever spent at denny's is? i'm going to guess $83. you know who must have the greatest tax deductions of

anyone in the country? carrot top. who else can write off a mr. potato head and a bicycle? no one. thank you, thank you very much. you know if you're confused or maybe even procrastinating as far as getting your taxes done go, we have something for you. here are some last-minute tax tips from our beloved local hollywood boulevard superheroes. >> well my last-minute tax tip would be make sure you always have your w-10 forms sitting together in like one folder so you can take them all in have them nice and organized. >> i have a tax accountant that actually takes care of my stuff. he charges me like $25. >> save your receipts. write the crap down man. don't take it for granted that you're going to remember it because if you're like me you won't remember jack. >> if you don't want you know pay homeowner taxes or whatever

don't own a home. spider-man lives on a pole. there's no deductions there. >> jimmy: he's right there are no deductions on the pole. no pole deductions. thank you, spider-man. tonight it was a elimination night on "american idol." paul mcdonald was asked to pack his things and go home. don't feel too bad though. paul, you know who else got eighth place? a young man named bucky covington. and he's done pretty well for himself since then. paul's departure isn't all bad news. he has donated all of the terrible outfits he wore on the show to children in africa. so that's nice. those kids have never been more confused than when we asked them -- last night was movie night on "idol." they sang songs from the movies. once again, the judges loved just about everyone.

they do nothing but give compliments. someone needs to remind them they're judges, they're not walmart greeters. they're judges. you've got to judge. i tell you something, no one ever saying anything negative is making me a meaner person. i feel like now i have to provide the negative commentary to the television at my home which makes me seem crazy. i'll tell you one thing, simon cowell wouldn't have stood up for this nice stuff. his nipples would have but he wouldn't. [ applause ] i miss his nipples. there was some controversy regarding one of the members of the studio audience. a 19-year-old girl claims she wasn't allowed to sit in the front row because of her weight. she got the impression they moved her back because she's overweight which is a great idea for a show, by the way "biggest loser idol." the producers deny that her weight had anything to do with it. they said she was in a party of six. they had to split the party up. do you see this new thing they're doing now with randy

jackson? >> i think you did it again. you picked the just right song. it's great, man. you're good. great, man. >> really great way. you closed the show last week. you killed it. and you did it again last week. good job. >> it was a little jerky to start but i think as he got into it it got better. >> jimmy: they say the camera adds ten rows so he was actually not -- there was some good performances. k.c. and haley sang together. they were very good. that was it really. in other reality show news donald trump announced he'll be making a big announcement on the season finale of "celebrity apprentice" next month. my money's on sex change operation. trump's senior adviser told cnn that he plans to announce an announcement date for whether or not he's going to run for president. so they announced they're going to announce when he'll announce if he's running. trump though he says he's never been more serious about running for president. and this is not a publicity

stunt. clearly. but make sure to watch the announcement on the season finale of "the celebrity apprentice." may 15th, 9:00/8:00 central. apparently because of equal time law, trump says he isn't allowed to make an official announcement during "the apprentice." i was really hoping to hear him say, meat loaf, you're fired, and i'm running for president. [ applause ] there were -- we're still 18 months until the election and this is already shaping up to be the most embarrassing presidential race yet. trump said in a radio interview that he has a good relationship with -- and this is a quote -- the blacks. well, not anymore. [ applause ] but the truth is -- there's no way in hell donald trump is really running for president. and he's smart. he has a show on. he's milking this for all it's worth and we go along with it. what would it be like if donald trump was our president?

i mean if donald trump -- >> this is a breaking news bulletin. chinese war ships have fired on a u.s. taiwanese joint task force patrolling the sea. find out tonight on "the biggest loser" only on nbc. >> jimmy: oh, that's what it would be like. i don't have a problem with that. there's an interview with lady gaga in the may issue of "harper aes "harper's bazaar." they're focusing more on the bizarre this month. she says she never has plastic surgery. unless it's an extreme case like mine where you have to have a tail removed, it's unnecessary. then she went on to say that these protrusions in her "born this way" video are natural. she says they're not prosthetics. they're actually bones that company out when she's inspired. as if lady gaga wasn't weird

enough, now she's got shoulder boners. when you're a human being hatched from an egg, there are going to be physical be an nor nates. her quote was they've always been inside of me but i've been waiting for the right time to reveal to the universe what i truly am. which is a coat rack. you know for someone who considers herself to be very fashion forward, you think she'd know big shoulders are very always '80s. this is great. this is a video from youtube. a little boy sleeping in the back of the car until he hears the sounds of a rapper. ♪

♪ >> jimmy: yeah that's pretty cute. very cute. [ applause ] a little snooze dog. rolling down the street sipping on juice and juice. this is kind of cool, last week the navy our navy successfully tested a high energy laser beam to help fight pirates. the laser can shoot a baseball size beam for miles in a straight line. they tested it and immediately set the target ship's engine on fire which was confusing to the captain of that particular carnival cruise. i love that. i would love to fire a laser at pirates. this is what i would like to do for my birthday next year. what's especially great about it is there's no way for pirates to defend themselves against this laser unless they buy a mirror

so -- have you heard about the -- all the air traffic controllers falling asleep on the job? i don't know if it's happening more or we're just hearing about it more lately. the faa, two cases this week they're investigating. one in reno and one in seattle. if only seattle had any coffee shops to help keep these guys awake. no, you really want to keep these -- [ applause ] the faa is requiring airport towers now to have at least two air traffic controllers on the job during the overnight shifts which is where the trouble's been happening. and today u.s. transportation secretary roy la hood spoke to the press. >> i guarantee the flying public we will not sleep until we can guarantee that there's good safety in the control towers when these planes are coming in and out of airports. >> jimmy: well, see, that's the problem right there. you need to sleep. you know who would make a great air traffic controller? ♪

>> jimmy: he ever nods off just play that song. the royal wedding is scheduled for two weeks from tomorrow. there's a lot of excitement. really? the latest bit of madness comes in the form of a jelly bean. a man from england was eating jelly beans with his girlfriend -- this is what they do on dates i guess. and found this. this is a mango jelly bean with what appears to be the image of kate middleton on it. look closely. it really kind of does -- they better destroy that. the prince could accidentally marry -- you can't have a jelly queen. it's against -- the guy who found the bean is hoping to sell it on ebay for 300 pounds -- 500 pounds rather. i hope he gets it. i have a jelly bean on sale on ebay right now that looks just like jacob lusk from "american idol." it takes like fourth place. one more thing, it's thursday

night, it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep or blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> at one point today, john boehner said that republicans are serious about [ bleep ] [ bleep ], damn serious. >> i will not tell families with children with disabilities that they have to [ bleep ] themselves. >> a naked man [ bleep ] a robot with an ak-47. >> remember former "idol" competitor mandisa? she [ bleep ] 120 pounds. >> i have had a impacted butt full of this [ bleep ] that [ bleep ]. >> jimmy kimmel last night, not to thrilled about getting the [ bleep ]. >> right now, it is 49 degrees downtown l.a. it is [ bleep ] cold. >> tourists from all around the world and we were [ bleep ] pirates. >> knowing in our hearts that [ bleep ] big [ bleep ] is the only way you accomplish anything. >> 89-year-old betty white is

[ bleep ] lindsay lohan. >> we're just waiting for the delivery check to come and bring us our [ bleep ]. we can't start the show without our [ bleep ] >> we asked 100 single women, what's the first thing you do when you get home from an awful blind date? >> take a [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: hey, on the show tonight, from "scream 4," allison brie is here. we have music from francis and the lights. and we'll be right back with tom arnold, so stick around. [ male announcer ] new extra dessert delights. all the flavor of mint chocolate chip ice cream... ♪ ♪ ...in a delicious 5-calorie stick of gum.

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i'm gonna give you some m&m's to put in there. ok! ready? and then you wanna take this... ...put it together. shake it. [ giggles ] are you making them for the easter bunny? no you. ahhhhh. [ female announcer ] this easter... bring a tradition... out of its shell. rice krispies. i did it! you did!

me. tonight on the show -- a young woman whom you know from two tv show, "mad men" and "community." tomorrow, she co-stars in the feature film "scream 4." alison brie is here. and then, making their television debut with music from their latest album -- it's called "it'll be better" -- francis and the lights from the bud light stage. next week, we'll be joined by courteney cox, dwayne johnson, sammy hagar, robert pattinson, the latest "casting with the stars" -- no that's a fishing show, "dancing with the stars" castoff. so join us next week. our first guest is a golden globe and peabody award winner, and the most famous man

ever to emerge from ottumwa, iowa. you can see him now alongside dax shepard in the new comedy "brother's justice," premiering on video on demand april 20th, and opening in theaters in select cities may 13th. please say hello to the spirited and sassy tom arnold. >> jimmy: no dilly dalying. >> no dead air.t going and keep it going. >> jimmy: how's everything, you still married? >> happily married to ashley. she's wonderful. i'm very lucky. >> jimmy: when you say happily married, is there ever a stumble as you go through your wives to remember which one you're married to? >> i can't believe -- i wake up sometimes and go i'm married four times, it's crazy, no wonder people make fun of me. four times is ridiculous. >> jimmy: are you still trying to have a baby? >> we are, we're working at it. it's a technical -- i have a low sperm count, as you know.

>> jimmy: i did not know. >> you don't know? >> jimmy: no i didn't know that. i forgot to count, yeah. >> we had some great news. this is so weird. we're getting to the point where i just wanted to have a baby. god gives you a baby i don't care if we have to borrow somebody else's sperm. i'm humble. it's my fault. i'll be looking at pictures of dudes. because they have celebrity look-alikes for sperm. yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: do they have you? >> no, they don't, thank god. >> jimmy: oh well that would be perfect if you could get one that looks like you. >> yeah what i think -- i think i look like ben affleck a little bit so if i get his sperm donor. we'll do whatever it takes. i was paying $300 a month for some kind of storage in a lab. didn't know what it was. it was my sperm from 15 years ago. and it was still alive. and so we're using that. we're using that. >> jimmy: oh, you are? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you can do that 15 years?

>> 15 years, it's still solid. >> jimmy: and somebody was -- it's frozen? >> frozen in a lab. >> jimmy: wow. so the baby will come out shivering? >> yes. >> jimmy: well, that's great news. >> that was a miracle, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah no kidding around. >> at this time next year we'll have a little baby. >> jimmy: well, i hope so. >> i'm very excited. >> jimmy: you can always adopt -- >> of course absolutely we'll adopt. whatever it takes. >> jimmy: yeah, oh yeah. and you don't have any kids right? >> no, it will be my -- i mean, i'm old. i got to get going. my gosh i'm old. >> jimmy: luckily, i've got my youth stored in a freezer for $300 a month. you're in this movie. it was written and directed by your pal and my pal dax shepherd. you're very funny. very funny movie. when -- dax is your buddy. you said everything is more fun with dax. dune buggy rides and fights with gang bangers at fleetwood mac

concerts. wars? >> we've been to afghanistan, entertained the troops. what happened was in this movie, i thought he was asking me to play his brother, which makes sense. that would be dax shepherd's brother. we look similar. and he actually came over to my house with the film crew. he was asking me to play his dad. i was so oweffended by it -- for real. >> jimmy: really? >> i was so mad we had this fight. it got on, got heated. and then the day we shot it bradley cooper's in it and dave heckner. we were shooting a fight scene. on their way to shoot the fight scene, we got into a fight and pulled over on the 101 and got into a fist fight at the side of the highway and he's beating on his truck -- >> jimmy: for real? >> for real you know, like brothers, like brothers though you know what i mean? >> jimmy: well that's why you should have been his brother i guess. >> exactly. >> jimmy: also, you shouldn't have a baby. you know? >> yeah. you've got to really love somebody to get into a fight with them and know they'll still be there for you when it's over.

>> jimmy: i guess so. >> we went to afghanistan like a month later. we were posing for pictures with the troops. we were like, do you guys always get along? as a matter of fact we had a big fight on the 101. and then the fight started up again. it's better not to retell horrible stories. we started a big fight in front of the troops right there in afghanistan. >> jimmy: so you got into some actual combat action over there. all right. so that's not -- that doesn't sound like fun to me. let's talk about the fleetwood mac concert. fighting gang bangers. >> situation is this as everybody knows, i'm a ladder i'm a mentor to a lot of young actors. >> jimmy: that is true. people think you're joking but it is true. >> yeah. about ten years ago, i asked dax sheppard and michael rozen baum -- they always got to feel they have to go out back in the day and have some drinks and look for women and stuff. i said no guys you can have fun just going out and listening to music. so i take them -- fleetwood mac is playing. i go hey, i'm friends with

stevie nicks. i met her in rehab. we're buddies. we go down to staple center. i'm saying guys isn't this amazing? we don't need that other stuff. the guy in front of me says, would you shut the blank up? i say, no you shut up. next thing you know a gang banger and i are fist fighting. i'm showing these guys how to have fun without violence or sex and i -- so my ace in a hole was i could introduce them to stevie nicks backstage. so i bring my buddies in. i'm covered with beer understand. the last time i saw her was in rehab. and she's like, how's it going, tom? amazing, man. >> jimmy: stevie was disappointed? >> probably a little scared. >> jimmy: speaking of that didn't charlie sheen like live across the street from you or something? >> he did. he's still there. >> jimmy: he's still living there? wow. >> he's a good -- charlie is a very nice guy, as you guys all

know. he's the guy that -- if one of his goddesses, if she wanders off and takes a leak in your yard, he will pay to have your car cleaned for a month. you'll get a note. sorry about what happened. i'm cleaning your car for a month. >> jimmy: how often does this happen? >> there are incidents. weird things happen around charlie. >> jimmy: so he's a great neighbor then? >> he's a great neighbor. >> jimmy: have you reached out to him in any way? >> he said at one point nobody's tried to contact him. he said where is everybody from the -- whatever. so i tried to call him. then i said to a reporter, you know, if he -- long time ago, i tried to do an intervention on him, organize one. like 20 years ago. that's when i thought everybody needed to be sober. because i just got out of rehab myself. '89. i'm like i'm going to make sure everybody's sober. it's going to be awesome. tom arnold saved your life. he didn't want it to be saved at the time. >> jimmy: who else have you done with this?

>> true story. i just got out of rehab and i was so fired up to be sober. i read in the national enquirerer peter from kiss, the drummer, he was a homeless alcoholic in santa monica. i get in my car. i go down to santa monica pier. i search and search. even if you're a homeless alcoholic, you still got groupies. right? i find him and he is messed up. you know what i'm saying? at the time i wasn't as connected with rehab centers so they said it will be three days before we can get him a bed. so i had to drive him around -- with the windows down of course. for like three days. taking him to groups things like that. i put him in this little motel down there on ocean. every three hours, i'd go down there and clean all the crack heads out of there. because you invite your buddies. >> jimmy: sure. >> this girl tells me she's this old girlfriend from boston. she says i want to fly him out here and take care of him. i go, when's the last time you saw him? about ten years ago. i go you might hurt him, let

him go to rehab. we want to save hisly of and ly ofife and i want to get credit for it right? >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> it's true. so i go there to pick him up. the day has come. i get to the motel. the manager tells me a limo came to get him and took him away. so i know what's going on. so i called that lady. i said why did you do that? i go, you know that's -- whatever. i was very upset. but it's over. let it go. i get a call back from her four hours later. she goes oh my gosh he's in my living room. he's throwing up. and he's not peter krist. i assumed he was. the dude down in the home -- i saved the wrong guy's life. >> jimmy: well you did what you could. tom arnold everybody. "brother's justice," video on demand april 20th. in select theaters may 15th. we'll be right back. [ male announcer ] this...is the network. a living, breathing intelligence that's helping business rethink how to do business. in here, inventory

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e lights. the amazing tom arnold. let's talk about the movie again. dax sheppard who wrote and directed the film. bradley cooper. >> he's awesome. by the way, when we started filming this movie, it was a few years ago, and bradley cooper was not bradley cooper.

we thought, we'll let bradley be in our movie. by the time we finished it he was the biggest star in the world. we had a premiere last week. somebody said, how's bradley doing? a couple weeks ago. i go he's amazing. bradley is amazing. because he's an amazing guy. i didn't realize he broke up with his girlfriend like right before that. so the headline was after break-up, bradley is amazing according to tom arnold. no, i didn't mean that. he's a very sensitive nice guy. he would not be amazing. i just meant as a human being. he's good in the movie. ashton kutcher, your buddy. a lot of good guys. >> jimmy: you got quite a cast there. >> we got a good cast. >> jimmy: i am sur praised by because i saw the movie and i did not know this was the real turn of events where you thought i need to play your brother, not your father, i'm offended. >> because i know dax's father. big dave. i know him. he could be my father. >> jimmy: he's like a dad? >> yeah, i couldn't be dax's dad. it's just weird. like the wilson brothers. they don't look alike, right?

the one's -- they don't look alike. yeah, right? okay. so it offended me. so we kept it -- they kept it in the movie because this is real and this is -- >> jimmy: you guys really fighting? >> this is us really fighting. >> jimmy: i'm glad the cameras were there. again, the movie's called "brother's justice." take a look. >> who's that man right there? >> that's my dad. >> that is your dad. >> yeah. >> but it also could be my dad. >> why do you have a picture of you and my dad? when was my dad over here? >> he's been over here a lot. >> my dad lives in detroit. >> right right. he flies out -- >> and he just doesn't -- >> we do things together. >> you're saying my dad's been out here. >> yes. >> didn't tell me, hey, i flew in from detroit -- >> i don't control him. he doesn't control me. we have that kind of relationship. he came out and visited me. >> tom tom, tom, tom, stop shouting at me. i need to know why you and my dad were in your backyard with your shirts off. >> why are you jealous? >> i'm not jealous at all. >> it's weird, you're very jealous. i have the same picture with

your mom too. >> jimmy: and that's where the punching begins. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: tom arnold everybody. >> i love dax. see the movie. >> jimmy: april 20th on demand and select cities may 15th. we'll be right back with alison brie. ♪ ♪give me land lots of land♪ ♪under starry skies above♪ ♪don't fence me in♪ ♪let me ride th rough the wide open country♪ ♪don't fence me in...♪ the nokia astound smartphone music video games ...and more available exclusively at t-mobile [ male announcer ] at p.f. chang's we don't just make dinner. we make it sizzle and snap. and now so can you. ♪ ♪ ignite the night with p.f.

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ith music. our next guest is one of the most talented young actresses ever to share the name of a soft french cheese. you know her from the tv shows "community" and "mad men."

and starting tomorrow, you can see her at the movies in "scream 4." please say hello to alison brie. [ applause ] you look fantastic. you're all dressed up. >> yeah, i got all dressed up to see you. >> jimmy: thank you for doing that. i got dressed up also to see you and tom arnold. >> i know it's really for tom. >> jimmy: yeah, of course. how are you? >> i'm good. everything is good. >> jimmy: things are going well? you're on a lot of television shows. >> yeah, i'm trying to be on as many shows as possible. so now this one makes at least three. >> jimmy: at least three, yeah. >> i feel good about that. >> jimmy: and you -- this movie -- a number of cast members on this show this week from the movie. and everybody seems like -- everybody seems like they got along. that sort of thing. >> yeah, yeah yeah. >> jimmy: the older cast

members -- >> you're trying to pit me against some people. this is a leading question. >> jimmy: i'm not try to pit you against anyone at all. why, did you fight anyone in the movie? >> yes. >> jimmy: because that's how tom does his movies. >> well, we fought backstage. >> jimmy: do you like scary movies? is that a genre you're interested in? >> yes i love them. they terrify me. i get very scared. i have to pick and choose wisely. >> jimmy: same here. i watch most of the scary movies kind of with one eye like this. >> yeah, me too, a little bit of like that action. >> jimmy: have you seen the other "scream" movies? >> yes i was a huge fan of the "scream" movies. >> jimmy: now that you've been in the "scream" movie, now will you not be as scared when you watch a scary movie? >> no, unfortunately, i think it's kind of the opposite. like after doing it and being in these sort of scary scenarios, instead it's like situations that might be a little subtlety scary instead are like full-blown terrifying because i'm like picturing the scary

music and all of that -- >> jimmy: you've got a soundtrack going on? >> i do my own -- ryeight after we finished the movie, we got home and it was like 11:00 at night, the witching hour -- >> jimmy: almost yeah. is 11:00 the witching hour? >> no but just go with it. >> jimmy: the witching hour. >> yeah. so i get home. i'm brushing my -- i set the alarm. i'm brushing -- i got an alarm after i did the movie just to be safe. >> jimmy: congratulations. >> thank you. i'm brushing my teeth and i hear a noise downstairs. at first i'm like it's probably nothing like they do in the movie. i really got to play it out. it's probably nothing. just go about my brush. then i hear something distinct. like something falling off a shelf. this is real. i look downstairs and i see a light on. now i freak out. my fight or flight instinct kicks in which is if to know that i just flew. toothpaste still in my mouth. >> jimmy: you're supposed to flight. >> i'm not much of a fighter.

>> jimmy: flighter is better. >> i race outside. i get in my car. i set the alarm off. i pull out of my driveway. and then i like start to drive down the street but i'm suddenly empowered by being in my car so i sort of felt like -- then i waited to see, like is someone going to run out of the house? >> jimmy: because the house alarm is going off? >> it goes off if it's already been set and you go out. and i really would have been more satisfied to see a guy like come running out of the house. but that didn't happen. so i circled the block. and i came back. and still nothing had really happened. and the alarm stopped going off, which by the way, i have this alarm system i feel like they're supposed to call you or the police are supposed to come or -- >> jimmy: have you ever seen those guys in those cars? they're the ones that alarm systems are supposed to be protecting us against. >> yeah. they're kind of scary dudes. >> jimmy: sleeping in the neighborhood in the car. >> nothing happens. yeah, the alarm just stopped going off.

so i slept at a friend's house. i came back in the morning. and now it's daylight. so i come in the house. and the first thing i check for is are the tvs still there, which they are. of course that's always the first thing -- >> jimmy: most valuable possessions. >> if i can't watch myself what am i gonna -- >> jimmy: why even go on living? >> right. >> jimmy: you know? [ applause ] >> so sad. but true. so i come inside and now i'm feeling really okay and then i hear a noise downstairs again. and now i'm angry because i'm like, what did this person sleep here? they just waited for the alarm to go off? so i creep downstairs. no weapon. feeling inging ballsy. i kind of hear this whimpering. i open the door. and my mother's dog comes running out. this little like cocker spaniel mix who had been there all night. it turns out my mother's my landlord and it turns out she'd been at my house the day before. i call her and she's like oh

thank god. you know we lost the dog. we put flyers everywhere. we've been so worried. and then i felt good like i was nancy drew. well, mom, i'm solved two mysteries today. >> jimmy: wow. [ applause ] your mother's very absent minded i would guess. >> the sad thing was -- the sad thing was it had only been a day -- not even a day and she'd already gone out and gotten a dog. she had another dog. >> jimmy: what? >> yeah. >> jimmy: she replaced the dog? >> she was so sad about missing this dog. she's like well we got a puppy. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, just heartless. >> jimmy: that should give you a glimpse -- >> i love her, she's great. >> jimmy: that's something else. wow. she got a new dog. does it make you worry if god forbid anything happened to you that maybe she'd have a new kid within 24 hour period? >> you know not really because when she got the dog, the missing dog back she got rid of the new dog. >> jimmy: ow wow.

where did the new dog -- is that in your place now in is. >> it's with a new family. >> jimmy: how did your dog turn the lights on? >> i think my mom left the lights on. i have a secret theory she hans out in the house when i'm no there. >> jimmy: maybe you shouldn't be renting your house from your mom. that's an okay situation? >> it's good. it's actually really good. because i'm -- i'm constantly late with the rent so -- >> jimmy: okay, that's probably good. >> i have a very forgiving landlord landlord. >> jimmy: she wouldn't boot you out of the house. >> she likes spend time there too much. >> jimmy: congratulations on the shows and the success. "community" is very funny. "mad men" is great. we wish you the best with "scream 4." it opens tomorrow. alison brie. francis and lights when we come back. ab

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>> jimmy: this is their new album. it's called "it'll be better." here with the song "darling, it's alright," francis and the lights.

♪ darling darling darling ♪ ♪ i was only sorry for a little while for things that made me dream of coming back ♪ ♪ forgive me my enemies return they're coming back ♪ ♪ but it's all right it's all right if you wanna break down and cry ♪ ♪ it's all right wait it's been a long time ♪ ♪ playing silly games long ago

it seems ♪ ♪ but it was days ago i think now i'm calling ♪ ♪ darling darling darling ♪ ♪ i called your name and i said forgive me all my enemies ♪ ♪ were often wrong they're come they're coming back ♪ ♪ that's why i said it's all right it's all right ♪ ♪ if you wanna break down and cry if i wanna make darling cry ♪ ♪ for the last time in my life if you wanna break down ♪ ♪ if you wanna break down

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i want to thank tom arnold, i want to thank alison brie. apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. it's out now. playing us off the air with the song "for days," you can see the full performance at jimmy kimmel live.com, once again francis and lights. good night. ♪ ♪ it's a shame

that's what it is i've been watching you for days now ♪ ♪ i'd never say i wish that it would happen ♪ ♪ but in a way i wish it would but oh ♪ ♪ i didn't do a thing but if there was just an air strike or a natural disaster ♪ ♪ you could'a been mine whoa-oh whoa-i hope ♪ ♪ that i didn't go too far this time but i've been watching y