thanks for watching abc news this week, and, of course, happy mother's day weekend. >> dicky: tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: only hours away from the biggest collection of white people dancing awkwardly in the history of the modern world. >> dicky: so fee ya vergara. >> jimmy: please keep your eyes up here when we're talking. >> dicky: manny pacquiao. and music from the airborne toxic event. >> jimmy: i'm so gegegegegegegee

>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- sofia vergara. congressman manny pacquiao. diane sawyer. and music from the airborne toxic event. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, odds are, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: that's very sweet. thank you, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for being here. and, hey, if you're watching at home, grab your crumpets and sit down in front of the telly, it's royal wedding tonight. i'm so excited, i'm royal wetting my pants. welcome to the "jimmy kimmel live" countdown to the royal wedding prenuptial festivities. our security team is ready. right guys? there they are. and who are you dressed as, guys? they really know how to commit to a part. they do. as most of you are probably aware, coverage of the royal wedding of prince william and kate middleton begins right at the end of our show here on the west coast, 4:00 a.m. eastern, 1:00 a.m. pacific. diane sawyer and barbara walters covering every magic moment. we are only hours away from the biggest collection of white people dancing awkwardly in the history of the modern world.

the seating chart for the wedding was released to the public today. good to see the royals have a sense of humor. they set queen elizabeth next to queen latifah. [ laughter ] the couple will be married by the archbishop of canterbury. the music at the wedding will be provided by two choirs, one orchestra, a group of trumpeters and a pony-tailed d.j. named al. al the dj. everyone lines up for the buffet. it's very classy. kate middleton, by the way, will not become a princess. you think if you marry a prince, you would, but that's not the case. the title she gets depends on what the queen decides to title william. so, if he becomes a duke, she'll become a duchess. i always wanted to be a duchess. i don't know why. if he becomes a warlock, she'll be a goddess. and so on. pretty much every show on television has a correspondent in london covering the event right now. the insider, "good morning america," the today show, judge judy, judge mathis -- >> good evening, i'm diane

sawyer. we have breaking news to report right now from westminster abbey, the site of the royal wedding. it has just been announced, and abc news has confirmed, that prince william and his fiancé, kate middleton, have decided to skip the royal wedding and go to las vegas. possibly to the overnight wedding chapel in las vegas. and we have more on this story, as it develops, but right now, we go back to "jimmy kimmel live," your source for news. >> jimmy: wow. that is a bombshell. they're eloping. [ applause ] that is shocking news. i don't know what to say. we had a whole -- i hope the middletons get their deposit back. you can join diane sawyer tomorrow night on "abc world news" for the whole story. even if they wanted to, there's no way they can get out of this now, right? they'd be beheaded to death. you know, you can actually bet on this wedding. you can bet on what song will be played during the first dance. "you're beautiful" by james

blunt is the favorite at 5 to 1. you can bet on what color the queen's hat will be. yellow pays 5 to 4. and you can also take yellow at 2 to 1 for the color of camilla's teeth. i bet -- i hate to admit this. i bet $5,000 that the bride wears a dress made of meat. like the lady gaga. pays 1 billion to 1. speaking of teeth, as interested as we are in this wedding here in america, in england, they are going nuts. this guy decided to show his enthusiasm in an exceptionally unusual way. >> this is the grill of a british plumber. he paid 1,000 pounds to have a dentist paint portraits of the royal couple on his two front tee teeth. it's only temporary. it will last as long as barney brushes. >> jimmy: well, he's british, so that could be quite awhile. unbelievable.

someone in england finally gets work done on their teeth, and that is it. even mike tyson was like, hey, that's a really bad idea for a tattoo. guillermo once did something like that. you remember that, guillermo? guillermo got a tattoo last year when lamar odom and khloe kardashian got married. is that still there? can you -- is there any way you can maybe show it to us, guillermo? come on, give us a little smile. there it is. that's them. [ applause ] if they ever get divorced, we're going to have to get them pulled. you know, this is such a special day, not only for william and kate, but for the whole country of england. we wanted to send them a special message of congratulations tonight. obviously we didn't have time to videotape everyone in the city, so, we just focused on one neighborhood here in l.a. we sent our cameras down to south central to let residents there share their thoughts on the royal wedding.

>> i don't really give a [ bleep ] about the royal wedding. honestly. you know, i really don't. royal who? >> what's the significance? because i'm about to get married. i wish y'all come to my wedding. can y'all come to my wedding. let me get married real quick. >> there's other [ bleep ] going on in the world right now, like, gas prices and obama and facebook and [ bleep ] like that, you know? >> they can do us a favor and send us some of that royal-ass money. >> i'm not going to be watching it. i'm going to be watching spongebob. >> i don't know, man, i'm divorced so i don't think i'll be too interested in watching somebody else get hooked. >> if the camera pan down here real quick, this my royalty right here. this my royalty. see that in my sock right here. this my royalty right here. you feel me? so, i'm royal in my own way, too. you see what i'm saying now? holler at your boy. >> jimmy: hollering right back.

[ cheers and applause ] you know, in these times of economic uncertainty, smart investors say the best place for your money is in that guy's sock. he's registered at wallets r us if you want to get him a gift. we have a great show for you tonight. our good friend, boxer manny pacquiao is here. he's got a lot of fans here. manny is from the philippines, so, many of our filipino-american friends are here to support him and to them i say -- which i think means manny pacquiao is here tonight, would you like to see him? does it? was i even close? [ applause ] oh, good, thank you. also tonight, from colombia, the

very beautiful sofia vergara. and i don't speak much spanish, either. i'll give it a try. [ speaking spanish ] guillermo, what does that mean? >> sofia vergara is here with no clothes on. >> jimmy: what does it mean? >> sofia vergara is here with no clothes on. >> jimmy: oh, that's not what i meant. i meant to say -- [ applause ] i meant to say she's here with no cloak on, but either way, she is here. hey, speaking of people born in other countries, president obama yesterday finally released the long-form version of his birth certificate. he said he did it because we're week not going to be able to get things done if we're distracted by carnival barkers. today, unfortunately, carnival barkers are now upset. some of them said they were offended. so, there goes the all-important bearded lady vote. a guy who runs a large carnival business said he was very upset by the president's remark. he said, i think what obama said is the same type of stereotype that has been placed on african-americans.

and now, if you excuse me, i have to go spit fire at a monkey wearing a top hat. meanwhile, donald trump -- when obama released the birth certificate yesterday, everybody wanted to rub it in donald's face. but he's not the kind of guy who knows the meaning of shame. >> are you at all maybe a little embarrassed for stoking what many in the country see as a foolish debate? >> i think i did a really great job in getting him -- i haven't seen it -- i'll look at it later. i don't need to look at your copy. >> jimmy: two days ago, he had people in hawaii -- now he doesn't want to see it. trump said he's glad the focus is off the birth certificate now, and he's now demanding to see president lincoln's death certificate. [ laughter ] it was elimination night on "american idol" tonight. there are final finalists left. so, hang in there, we can get through this together. i like that ryan seacrest, every night, reminds viewers they can text their votes from a mobile

phone. which, if there are viewers out there who think they can text from their land line, they shouldn't be allowed to vote. for anything. the competition is getting interesting. all the least talented contestants have been eliminated. and the most talented have also been eliminated. so now we're down to the middle. and here's who got the boot tonight. that is casey abrams. unfortunately for me, i had casey in the office pool. i don't know, i thought he was talented. but i guess you have to get those young girl votes. watch this. and he left that guy hanging. now he's out. steven tyler, the judge, has been giving weird compliments out this week. every performance is beautiful. and after casey sang last night, he said, you made my scalp itch, it was so good. you are so talented, you are giving me dandruff. that's -- but as weird as his comments are, it is his gaze that is most disturbing. with that said, here is steven tyler's creepy leer of the night.

♪ as nice as it can be ♪ although it -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: with the hat and the -- we just caught a predator. the nfl draft was held tonight at radio city music hall in new york city. just when i find myself in the middle of a week of dancing stars, "american idol" and a royal wedding, the nfl reminds me that i used to be a man. and it's exciting. there's not as much excitement about the draft this year because of the lawsuit between the league and the players. nobody knows if there's even going to be a season this year. which, getting drafted when there might not be a season is like getting a manager job at blockbuster video. the carolina panthers had the first pick. and they selected -- >> with the first pick in the 2011 nfl draft, the carolina panthers select lu how. obese chinese baby.

>> compared to the other tackles who might have been available, a superior athlete. >> jimmy: wow -- they picked a chinese baby. this is pretty good. gloria allred has another case on her hands. she's representing justin quinn, who claims that a pitching coach for the atlanta braves, baseball team, made homophobic comments and crude sexual gestures to some fans in front of his kids before the braves/giants game in san francisco saturday. justin said when he confronted the guy about it, the coach threatened him with a bat and here's gloria detailing what allegedly occurred. >> mr. quinn heard coach mcdowell say to these men, quote, are you guys a homo couple or a threesome? end quote. then the coach allegedly grabbed a baseball bat and started shoving the small end through a circle formed by his finger and thumb, simulating sex. the coach then allegedly said, are you three giving it to each

other up the -- and he used a word for -- a crude word for rear end. while thrusting his hips forward and backward in a sexual manner. coach mcdowell then put up three fingers, pointing at the men and in response, some individual in the bleachers shouted "oh my god." >> jimmy: i especially love the twin girls looking on watching. just in case they missed it the first time. they should now hire a lawyer to sue gloria for doing that in front of them. and just in case that description wasn't specific enough for you, here's a visual aide. >> okay, so, justin -- okay, so then -- like that? [ applause ] okay. [ laughter ]

>> of course he was doing it with his other hand. >> jimmy: look at that. and she keeps -- she's a natural. the best press conference, maybe ever, right? they call that move a louisville tugger. [ applause ] so, good work again, gloria. now i can never think about baseball during sex again. one more thing. it's thursday night, time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> nice job, sir. >> these are fantastic. i am so [ bleep ] up for this royal wedding. >> more than 450 prisoners escaped from a prison in afghanistan this morning. most of them are taliban [ bleep ]. >> we saw our first [ bleep ] of the season. >> tonight, you weren't just a great [ bleep ] [ bleep ],

tonight, you proved that you are a great singer. >> do you think that he needs a mother [ bleep ]? >> yes. >> how do you think charles has matured from the day that you [ bleep ] him as a teenager there? >> he was always pretty deep, but i mean, i think he's got much deeper. >> christina already wants to [ bleep ] you. i mean, that's awesome. >> i have a huge ass [ bleep ] and a deadline. >> really? >> today, i'm reveefling t irev and don'ts of [ bleep ]. >> i would never [ bleep ]. if i like you, i like you, but i'm not [ bleep ] and none of that kind of stuff. >> we do not have time for this kind of silliness. we got better [ bleep ] to do. i got better [ bleep ] to do. >> just like that. [ applause ] >> jimmy: hey, we got a good show for you tonight. manny pacquiao is here. we have music from the airborne toxic event. and we'll be right back with sofia vergara, so stick around. wait, you have something right?

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♪ to cinnamon. td introducg cinnamon burst cheerios. 20% day value of fiber bursting with the delicious taste of cinnamon. new cinnamon burst cheerios. prepare your taste buds. >> jimmy: wow. the pageantry. that's what it's all about. thank you for coming back. tonight on the program, a boxer, singer, actor and congressman. you can see him punch sugar shane mosley in the face live on pay per view may 7th. manny pacquiao is here. and then, all the way from los angeles with music from this, their new album, it came out this week, it's called "all at once." a terrific band. the airborne toxic event from the bud light outdoor stage. next week on the show, we have a lot of guests next week. andre agassi will be here.

rene russo. from "bridesmaids," ellie kemper. the former vice daughter, kristin gore, who is an author. from "thor," kenneth branagh, also from "thor," thor himself, chris hemsworth. the latest "dancing with the stars" castoff, the new national school scrabble champions who i will face and conquer. and sir anthony hopkins. we'll also have music from calexico and k.d. lang and the siss boom bang. so please join us next week, too. our first guest tonight is a very beautiful and emmy-nominated actress. she is a former univison hostess, who's married to a former al bundy on the extremely exceptionally funny show "modern family." you can watch it wednesday nights at 9:00 here on abc. please say hello to sofia vergara. [ cheers and applause ] >> hola!

hello, jimmy. >> jimmy: you really ran out here. was that to avoid us staring at you? >> i was running? no. >> jimmy: a little bit. can i ask you to please keep your eyes up here when we're talking? thank you. >> look at the handsome crowd you have. >> jimmy: thank you. [ applause ] >> okay, i keep the eyes over there, but you keep them away from here. >> jimmy: i'm going to aim for your scalp and then maybe i'll get to just right to your eyebrows would be good. good to see you. >> see how many seconds you can do that. >> jimmy: i'm not even looking at you right now. i'm looking at guillermo and uncle frank. >> guillermo! >> jimmy: he's very serious tonight. >> guillermo, what is this outfit? you should wear the mexican hat on top of that. >> jimmy: he's wearing a little tiny sombrero underneath.

how are you? you're on hiatus right now? >> yeah, very happy -- well, not happy, actually. it's been a month and i already miss shooting. >> jimmy: you do? you miss everybody? >> i miss julie, ty, the kids. >> jimmy: that's nice. >> everybody, yeah. >> jimmy: but your own son you have, you prefer them over him? [ laughter ] >> well -- well, my son is going to be 20 years old now in september. >> jimmy: he's doing his own thing? >> yeah. he's in connecticut. he's going to college now, this fall. >> jimmy: i have a daughter in college and my son is going next year and it is almost impossible to get them to go anywhere with me anymore. >> really? i know. i have to bribe him. i'm always like, i'll give you a new computer, i put new rims in your car. >> jimmy: see, i do it opposite. >> you have to learn, it's the only way. >> jimmy: i say, i will take your computer from you and i will remove the rims from your

car. but weirdly it's not as effective. >> no. >> jimmy: have you been traveling while you've been on -- >> i've been traveling. well, actually, i've been working, but his spring break, so i took him to paris. >> jimmy: you did? >> it was fantastic. we only had one week because he had to go back to school, but it was amazing. >> jimmy: nothing more romantic than going to paris with your mom. [ laughter ] >> i mean -- what can i say? i mean, he should be feel lucky. >> jimmy: i'm sure he does. what does he -- >> i took him to nightclubs. >> jimmy: you did? >> we ate like there was no tomorrow. i took him to see the girls with no bra at the -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: really? you are a great mother. wow. >> at the moulin rouge, the dancing. everything. >> jimmy: did he like that? was that embarrassing? >> he loved it, no, he was clapping and everything.

>> jimmy: i'll bet he was. i would never stop clapping if you were my mother. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i heard you tweeted that you moved into a new house. >> i did. i -- like, two days ago, actually. i just slept there, like, two times. >> jimmy: was it a difficult move? it can often be a nightmare. >> you know what, i move so much all the time, i lived in miami, in bogota, in l.a., in new york. i'm used to moving, but when you are working, it's very hard, and the more i work, the more money i have, so the more things i have. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, right. >> so, the movings are getting very complicated now. >> jimmy: what do you do? do you have like, are there, like, a line of guys offering to help you move your stuff? >> yeah, but you know what, the buildings in l.a., they need insurance so all the guys needed insurance to go up and help, so, no.

i had to hire a professional closet -- >> jimmy: that's probably a good idea. >> i felt so fancy. >> jimmy: i bet. >> i couldn't believe i was doing it. >> jimmy: what do they do? >> well, i -- i did pack. it took me forever because i had one hour a day. i packed like 25 boxes of clothes and shoes and everything. and i left, they took it, i was in new york working and when i arrived, she was the one that unpacked in the new place, and it was everything, i mean, i don't want to dress anymore in my life, i don't want to touch anything. i don't want to disorganize. >> jimmy: it's perfect? >> it's like color coordinated -- >> jimmy: really? >> it's amazing. >> jimmy: like the rainbow? >> the best money i've spent in a long time. i mean, it was fantastic. i arrived and it was everything packed. i mean -- it was a very -- it was delicious. >> jimmy: that is probably the best possible thing about having money is that somebody else come move things for you. >> yes. yes. >> jimmy: i -- this is pretty

cool, too. this is -- you and elmo there. and -- looks like elmo is copping and feel or something. [ applause ] this is "sesame street?" >> yeah. i was invited to teach the word. what? >> jimmy: what was the word? can you say, or -- >> it's a secret. but why were they laughing? it was not the word in english. it was a word in spanish. >> jimmy: was it a spanish word? >> yes. >> jimmy: all right, all right. >> i cannot say because it's not coming out yet. but it was fantastic. the, whatever they are, what are they? >> jimmy: muppets? >> no. >> jimmy: well, i'm not sure what you mean. >> no, i mean puppets. i didn't know how to say that in english. >> jimmy: is this something that you watched when you were a kid? >> yeah, it's been like for 40 years. they are celebrating the 40th anniversary in latin america. it's amazing, i grew up watching them. so it was very nice to work with

them. very professional. they knew their lines. i film -- it was 20 minutes, i did whatever i was supposed to do and i left. it was fantastic. >> jimmy: i did that, too, and it was fun. it was weird. because you just see people there. >> but you see them on their knees and they keep talking like that even when they're not filming, they keep talking like they're the muppet. >> jimmy: yeah. i can only imagine what was going on down on the ground as you were shooting with them. >> i know. i was wearing jeans. >> jimmy: so, and "modern family" has been great -- >> we've been shooting with a lot of great people. [ applause ] yeah. >> jimmy: you just did a commercial -- >> yeah, well, "modern family", the second season is about to finish. and i just filmed a commercial for pepsi with david beckham. >> jimmy: oh, he's not a bad looking guy. >> he was not very bad to look at. >> jimmy: if we could get the two of you to mate, i can only

imagine what would come out of you. >> i mean, you want him to mate more? he has, like, four kids. >> jimmy: i don't know. i just like to be apart of it somehow. >> okay. maybe i can arrange something. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i could be a coach. >> no, he was great. and, you know, it was, for me, very special, because it was my second commercial with pepsi. i did my first one when i was 17, 22 something years ago. >> jimmy: oh, wow, wow. >> and that was my first thing in the entertainment business. so, it was great to do it again for pepsi. >> jimmy: i bet. and now, "modern family" and there's a big mother's day episode coming up this week. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you are a mother, of course, on the show, rico rodriguez plays your son. we have a clip here. would you like to set this up? >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: well, go ahead. i think it's probably self-explanatory, right? here it is.

"modern family." take a look. >> go first. >> you can go first. >> manny, go first. >> no, jay -- >> somebody give me a present! oh, jay, a diamond necklace. oh, thank you. >> you deserve it. go ahead, kid. >> happy mother's day, mom. >> a necklace made of the froot loops. i love it. >> i know they're not exactly diamonds. >> no, they're beautiful. >> you know what, i got a confession to make. those aren't real diamonds. give them back. i'll get you some real ones later. >> dang it. now i got to come clean. those aren't real froot loops. they're generic. >> now i have no present again. >> jimmy: very cute. "modern family," wednesdays at 9:00 on abc. sofia vergara, everybody. thank you so much for being here. we'll be right back with manny pacquiao. [ female announcer ] every morning, all across america,

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>> jimmy: hi there. still to come, the airborne toxic event. our next guest is one of the kindest and gentlest men ever to make a career of beating other people's heads in. on may 7th in las vegas, he squares off with sugar shane mosley live on pay per view. please say hello to the pride of the philippines, wbo welterweight champion, congressman manny pacquiao. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: great to see you. thanks for coming. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you look great. you look strong. you look ready to fight. >> yes. >> jimmy: are you ready for this fight? >> i'm ready. >> jimmy: if they said, hey, we're going to have the fight right now, would you do it? would you be ready? >> it's okay. >> jimmy: yeah, why not? you're a big favorite, 6 to 1 favorite. does that, do you think about that at all, does that matter? >> no, i'm not thinking about that. i'm thinking the fight, what fight we can give to the people. >> jimmy: okay. and is that something that you think about, like, you want to put on a good show for the people or you just want to go in there and knock him out? >> give a good show and i want -- my concern is how people can satisfy that night. >> jimmy: got you. that's good. that's nice. i don't want to worry you, but shane's girlfriend says she thinks shane is going to win the fight. [ laughter ] so -- by the way, imagine if she

didn't. like, yeah, maybe, but i'm not betting on this thing. okay so, now, you're a congressman, for real, in the philippines, for those people that don't know. so, while you are here training who is congressing? >> right now, we're in vacation -- >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] >> the congress on vacation since march 15th. so the situation by me is good for me. >> jimmy: you went and met with president obama at the white house, i heard. when did you meet with him? >> last december. >> jimmy: oh, last december. what did you talk about? had you been elected at this time? was it official business or was he meeting you as a fighter or as a politician? >> my official business is, i went to the senate because i'm helping my fellow filipinos, passing a bill here in the states, we call it safe act, for, you know, generate, i mean,

work for jobs for thousands of filipinos, and, you know, that's -- i'm helping. >> jimmy: is that what you and the president talked about? >> no, not the president, but -- >> jimmy: oh. >> before the president, before i met the president, i, we talked with harry reid. >> jimmy: oh, harry reid, from nevada. and what did you and the president talk about? did you talk about boxing at all? >> we talked about boxing and basketball. >> jimmy: oh, basketball. >> i told him, mr. president, i heard you like basketball. "oh, i'm always watching boxing." >> jimmy: did you invite him to come to the fight? >> i tried to invite him in las vegas, but he said, i can't come, but i'm definitely going to watch the pay per view. >> jimmy: oh, he'll be watching? you have to give him a little shoutout or something. [ applause ] now, you met another notable figure, the great don rickles, i see here. when did this happen? do you know don, are you

familiar with his work? >> yeah, he's funny guy. >> jimmy: very funny guy. did he make fun of you? did he make jokes? >> all the time. >> jimmy: what did he say to you, do you remember? >> there's a lot of -- funny things. >> jimmy: yeah, he's funny. and, this would be great, by the way. you could tour with him. you could sing -- >> you know what, he used to live in the philippines two years before. >> jimmy: he did? no, really? >> yes. >> jimmy: he lived in the philippines? >> yeah, before, two years. >> jimmy: when he was in the military? >> yeah, in the military. >> jimmy: how about that. you guys talked about that? >> we have experience in the philippines. >> jimmy: i got you. and now, the last time -- i think, well, not the last time you were here, you sang with will ferrell. a couple times before, you sang the song "sometimes when we touch." this is a song by an artist named dan hill. apparently dan him's wife was watching the show and called him into the room and said, you're

not going to believe this, but manny pacquiao is singing your song. and as a result of that, you and dan have teamed up to make a cd together. >> yeah, "sometimes when we touch." >> jimmy: now, dan did not make the cover of this cd, but dan is on the back of the cd. there's dan. and the best part of the cd is, and the best part of the cd is, there are seven different versions of "sometimes when we touch" on it. so, if you really love "sometimes when we touch," there's never been a better cd to own. and then there's a dvd of the making of the song. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and were you surprised when he contacted you and said, hey, let's record this song together or was it your idea? >> when i heard that dan hill wanted to meet me and we meet in new york, and we talk about recording with him, "sometimes

when we touch" and, you know, something happen and we record. >> jimmy: we have some video of that, for those of you who haven't seen manny sing, here it is. "sometimes when we touch." ♪ i want to hold you til i die ♪ til we both break down and cry ♪ ♪ i want to hold you ♪ til the fear in me subsides >> jimmy: beautiful. [ applause ] and again, there are seven versions of that. there's five remixes and one regular version and then there's an instrumental if people want to touch each other at home. and now, the last time you were here, you had a scent called mp-7, for your titles, and i said, what are you going to do if you win another title, and you said -- i'm going to have mp-8. and sure enough, there it is. mp-8. your own scent. [ applause ]

the scent of the champion. are you wearing this right now? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you are? do you feel like it's premature to wear this? or maybe, you know, after the post-fight thing -- >> no, i always wear it. >> jimmy: you always wear it. well, i tell you what, it's great to see you. glad you come here before every night. i feel almost like it's dangerous for you not to come here before your fight because it's superstition, you know? you have to come here before every night. >> people say it's a lucky thing to go to jimmy kimmel before the fight. i think it's some kind of lucky because i always came here before my fighting. >> jimmy: i'm like a big fat rabbit's foot. [ laughter ] manny pacquiao, everybody. you can see him against shane mosley on saturday may 7th on pay per view. we'll be right back with the airborne toxic event. if you ask a parent, they might call it intuitive.

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i was obviously gay. and i did get harassed. what i'd love you to take away from it... is that however bad it is now... it gets better. and it can get great. okay little ones, here's the first thing you need to know. you are perfect and wonderful exactly as you are. you're not alone. there are a ton of us out here in this world. who will love you without even knowing you. it gets better ! ( crowd cheering ) there's art to be made. there's songs to be sung.

so hold on. look at me, 80 years old. it gets better with age. it gets better. it gets better. it gets better. so much better. you'll be fine, partner. your life can be amazing. but you have to tough this period of it out and you have to live. hey dave, we're out of bud light. oh, good thing i just downloaded this app. ♪ here we go. ♪ [ male announcer ] it's the sure sign of a good time. the just right taste of bud light. here we go. nice app. i gotta get a new phone. is the next featured $5 footlong of the month!

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jijijijijijijijijijijijijijijije create my oasis. marcy: ok, romantic garden? bree: oh, is there a castle nearby? marcy: no, but there's a charming farmhouse. bree: right next to my posh castle! i'm sensing a theme here. well, i am the queen, dear sister.

>> jimmy: this is their latest album. it's called "all at once." here with the song "changing," with some help with the strikers all-stars, the airborne toxic event. ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ all these buckets of rain i've heard enough about you say that i lied i am a gentleman ♪ ♪ didn't i ask for a place i could stay what were we both thinking the next part just got ♪ ♪ in the way you were just always talking about changing changing ♪ ♪ what if i was the same then same then

the same i always was ♪ ♪ ♪ all these things that you say ♪ ♪ like i'll forget about the mind-numbing games that you play ♪ ♪ i am a gentleman didn't i pay for every laugh every dime every bit every time ♪ ♪ and then you feed me some line i won't hear one more word about changing changing ♪ ♪ guess what i am the same man same man ♪ ♪ same that i always was ♪ days pass and turn into weeks ♪ ♪ when we don't even speak ♪ we just lay wide awake ♪ and pretend i'm asleep ♪ and you come home alone and you're checking your phone ♪ ♪ and you're looking at me like i'm something you own ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ all these buckets of rain i heard enough about you say ♪ ♪ i never tried i am a gentleman ♪ ♪ didn't i answer every time that you call did i pick you up when you fall did you ever hear me at all ♪ ♪ you were just always talking about changing changing guess what i am ♪ ♪ the same man same man ahh changing changing guess what i am ♪ ♪ the same man same man ahh

changing changing guess what i am the same man same man ahh ♪ ♪ i was a gentleman wasn't i

>> jimmy: i want to thank sofia vergara, manny pacquiao. apologize to matt damon, we ran out of t