truly heroic. >> richard seriano, of fema. thanks for watching. "good morning america" will have much more on this story and we'll see you tomorrow. up next on an all new jimmy kimmel live. >> did any of you die over the weekend on saturday? i didn't. at least i don't think i did. or maybe i did. maybe this is hell. >> wanda sykes. >> you know i'm a black superstar, i'm supposed to have a white wife. >> the bachelorette ashley hebert. >> did you make a mistake? >> i made a lot of mistakes. >> and music from foster the people. >> when the world ends, walmart is closed.

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here's jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: that's very nice. i'm jimmy, the host of the show. thank you for watching. i want to say to each of us congratulations on surviving the apop apocalypse this weekend. did any of you die? i don't think i did. maybe i did. maybe this is hell. is omarosa the guest tonight? then no, this is not hell. whew. i'm actually kind of upset the rapture didn't happen on saturday. i gave my beanie baby collection up for no reason at all. at first i felt bad for the

people who sold everything they owned to prepare for the apocalypse but then i was thinking about it and i realized they're idiots. [ laughter ] even if the world did end, what are you going to do with the money you got? when the world ends, walmart is closed. [ laughter ] so then i felt a lot better about the whole thing. the guy who predicted the enofd of the world, he's an evangelical christian radio host. boy, is his face red. his followers spent a lot of money trying to get the word out about the apocalypse. it turned out to be the worst use of $140 million since the adventurers of pluto nash. mr. camping released a brief statement yesterday that says it's been a really tough weekend. [ laughter ] it would have been worse wouldn't it? this is the second end of the world prediction. the first one didn't come true either by the way. his wife described him as being somewhat bewildered and mystified that judgment day didn't happen by saturday night, though to be fair, the guy's 89

years old. he's somewhat bewildered and mystified by call waiting so -- a news outlet called the international business times knocked on his door yesterday and -- well, here's what harold had to say. >> no, no no interviews no interviews. give me a day. no interviews at all. sorry. sorry. this is a big deal a big deal and i've got to live with -- i've got to think it out and so no interviews. okay? all right. all right. no, no, no interviews. >> jimmy: that's right, read the jacket, it says members only. it would have been funnier if the reporter came to the door dressed like god or the devil. the devil would have been better.

now he's saying today on his radio show he said the world will end october 21st. you think anyone will believe him this time around? listen, for people who buy into this sort of thing, next time you want to be scared out of your mind by an 89-year-old man, just watch "60 minutes." [ applause ] i am actually mourning another world ending today. it is the one-year anniversary of the final episode of "lost." one year ago. that was my apocalypse. i'm just marking time from here on. before bu my plan i'm going to honor them tonight at exactly 10:00 p.m. by pouring a 40 into my tivo. fortunately, we have celebrity dancing to carry us through all this pain. tonight was part one of the two two-part finale of "dancing with the stars." we're now down to three kirstie alley, chelsea cane and the dancer on whom i bet a lot of money, hines ward of the pittsburgh steelers.

i pick someone to bet on. it makes it more interesting to me. not that i want to influence your vote, but did you know hines ward was part of the team that killed bin laden? that's true. that's absolutely true. this is -- this is chelsea kane tonight. she was very good. one point shy of perfect 60 she got 59. kirstie alley, she does a cartwheel here and she appears to be wearing scuba gear for some reason. hines ward, i don't know what the hell he was wearing but he tied chelsea with a nearly perfect 59. tied for first place. tomorrow night, hines ward will be crowned champion on "dancing with the stars." [ cheers and applause ] and finally, at long last -- [ applause ] i will be able to purchase a jetski. also tonight, you know as the dancing ends the romancing begins. a new season of "the bachelorette," "dancing with the stars" is over, "the bachelorette." it's the circle of no life it

really is. ashley, the bachelorette, is here with us tonight. earlier this evening -- [ applause ] she whittled her 25 suitors down to 18. i like to see her end up with chaz bono. i don't know if it's too late. [ laughter ] wouldn't that be great? ashley melt a lot of men tonight but my favorite was a guy named tim. tim had a lot of time to go before ashley made it over to talk to him and by the time she did, tim had a few drinks in him. >> hey, tim. >> hello. >> how's it going? are you okay? >> i'm all right. you just scared me. >> oh, i scared you, sorry. >> i did. >> how are you? >> how are you? >> i'm very well. very well. >> so um -- oh my god, i really am like like so -- >> you're what? you're drunk?

>> well probably. >> jimmy: why waste time with the other 24? there's your husband right there. that's the guy. [ applause ] i mean, it's obvious. they have chemistry. maybe he thought he was auditioning for "jersey shore." snooki? fortunately, the interaction didn't end there. before tim passed out and had to be carried to his car, for real we were able to find out what he does for a living. >> so what do you do for work? >> i sell wine and spurs for a living. >> wine and spurs? >> i had a few cocktails. >> jimmy: i think -- you know what? i think we found our next "bachelor." a drunk "bachelor." wouldn't that be great? [ applause ] when god closes a door on one reality show he opens another on "celebrity rehab." i don't know call me

old-fashioned, but i remember a time when men and women met through the casual encounter section on craigslist. in other reality show news the field for the republican candidate of president is finally taking shape. after announcing he will not run last week, he made a big announcement. donald trump told "fox "fox & friends" this morning he might run. see, that's the kind of decisiveness we need. [ applause ] so far, the gop field is newt gingrich, the ceo of a fast food pizza chain and tim pawlenty. some people say tim paw atlantay is too boring to beat obama but matt lauer gave him an opportunity to show off the raw pawlenty magna tisism for which he is known. >> people often look at you and say is there enough charisma there for pawlenty to beat barack obama? what's your answer to that?

all right, great, thank you very much. [ applause ] >> jimmy: well, what's he going to say? yeah, i'm charismatic? meanwhile, president obama was in ireland today where he met some of his irish relatives. he has -- i tell you what hawaiian, kenyan irish, this guy truly is the epcot center of presidents. obama visited the town of money gal which was home to his great, great, great grandfather. he celebrated his heritage by sucking down a pint of beer. you don't see world leaders chugging enough. and then after they finished with the beer, they got into the presidential motorcade and headed out to do something, i'm not sure what, but watch this here. you see -- okay. they were actually -- bottomed out. the beer's very powerful over there. fortunately, in ireland, your car has to be completely upside

down for it to be considered a dui so -- [ laughter ] i'm glad obama's having a good time. i have to say, i find it a bit odd he isn't here in the united states while we go through a very difficult time of saying good bye to oprah, you know the oprah show ends this week. who here's going to cry watching that last show? just -- okay, four of us? [ laughter ] this must be what it felt like when our parents lost merv. we've been honoring oprah this month by reliving some of her most memorable moments. unfortunately, everyone has seen her most memorable moments about 80 times each so what we've done to freshen them up is we've taken the audio, the sound, from classic oprah moments and we have combined that with video from classic cartoons. here now is the moment oprah met her childhood krurncrush, jackie jackson jackson. >> jackie jackson was your first love. >> jackie jackson. >> so let's see. >> ahhh! oh!

>> jackie jackson! is here. >> that's great. >> you look so great. >> listen i wasn't dressed for you. >> let's go across the street and get something to eat. >> okay, let's go get something to eat. oh my god, a dream date with jackie jackson. forget lunch forget dinner, i'm going out with jackie jackson! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh pra! oprah! only jackie jackson could make oprah levitate. one more oprah-related item. we've had a lot of fun with this but it's an emotional time for america. many of us will not know what to do without oprah. so we sent my cousin sal out into the world with a video booth in which oprah fans would get the opportunity to record a farewell message for her, and record they did. here's one fan's emotional good-bye to oprah.

>> all right come on in. there's a prerecorded message. listen to that. after that's done, you can tell what you want to oprah. good luck. >> thanks, thanks. hi, oprah, my name is cathy. and i've watched your show from the beginning. and you have just really -- >> hey how you doing? what you're saying is great but your hair's a disaster. >> oh, sorry. >> i have to help you out. let me help out. >> is that better? oh, god. how about i take it out -- oh. >> all right. >> people truly, truly miss you. god bless you. >> hi. hi. hello? >> hello? >> hello, how are you? >> okay. >> this is oprah! >> oh, my gosh, hi! >> you know my favorite thing show? >> yes. >> well, i'm going to send in a

special treat for you today. >> oh, thank you. >> it's one of my favorite things. >> okay. >> it's a mackccame ya fudge made by celine dion's personal housekeeper. enjoy it. >> thank you. bye. >> you've really got to eat the whole thing. savor everything. so much of the essence is down inside. caramel in there. it's amazing. am i right, am i right? >> uh-huh. oh, my god, it's really good. >> it's just so delicious. >> keep eating. you know with the starving kids and everything. eat the whole thing. >> i'll eat the whole thing. >> if you can eat it in like 15 seconds, we'll put you on tv. >> are you serious?

>> of course. >> go. >> okay. 15. 14. 13. how you doing? 12. get in there, get there. get it up in there. yes. wow. oh, my goodness. oh, my goodness! you did it! that was so good right? another brownie. >> oprah wants you to eat it. don't you say no to oprah. don't you dare say no to oprah. >> you're doing great. oprah hates quitters. >> i run a weight loss clinic. this is not good -- >> are you serious? >> yes i am. >> keep eating!

>> okay we -- three small meals a day. 64 ounces of water. >> take another bite. eat, eat, eat! >> remember, the fatter you look, the skinnier oprah looks so eat up. >> excellent. >> good work out there. >> she's done. she ate two. she ate two brownies. >> just two? >> should we do one more? >> no! >> oprah loves you! >> i love you too but i can't eat anymore. [ applause ] >> jimmy: oprah's weird. she's weird. hey, we got a good show for you tonight. "the bachelorette," ashley

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>> jimmy: welcome back. tonight on the show, a young woman who will brave filthy hot tubs full of diseased men all in the name of love. the new bachelorette, ashley hebert, is with us. and then, making their network television debut with music from their very first album, it just came out today. it's called "torches." foster the people from the bud light outdoor stage. a lot of people here to see them live. tomorrow night, we'll be joined by the winners of "dancing with the stars," we'll be joined by the dreamy taylor lautner, and

we have music from britney spears. then later this week, mike tyson, from "modern family," jesse tyler ferguson, author sarah vowell, christina aguilera will be here, and we'll have music from big sean and maybach music group featuring rick ross. so join us for that. our first guest tonight is a very, very funny woman. she is an emmy-winning writer and performer whom you know from "curb your enthusiasm," and "the new adventures of old christine." among many other things. you can see her live and in-person at the borgata hotel casino and spa in atlantic city on june 4th. please say hello to wanda sykes. [ applause ] it's great to see you. >> it has been a long time. >> jimmy: really has. are you glad the world didn't

end this weekend? >> i'm so glad the world didn't end because i really want to see the last oprah show. boy, i'd have been bummed. follow her 25 years and you miss the last one. >> jimmy: yeah been looking forward to it. >> i'd be like what the hell is this, send me back. actually, i knew nothing went down because, you know, 'cause i was following oprah. i follow oprah on twitter, you know. >> jimmy: oh, right, does that put you in the clear? >> that puts me in the clear. if oprah's still here i know nothing ain't going down. let me see. she tweeted. she's like 72 degrees in chicago, going for a run by the lake. i was like unless you running with jesus, we good. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: have you been on the oprah show? >> yes yeah. >> jimmy: i never got to be on the oprah show. i was hoping she'd do another rund just to get me on there some time. >> i'll shoot her an e-mail. >> jimmy: tweet her if you could. maybe during her job. what have you been up to?

i know there's a lot of stuff going on in your life. >> it's been five years. what has happened? a lot has happened jimmy. i'm into chicks now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: same here. >> yeah you too? >> jimmy: finally. >> yeah. yeah, i publicly came out. i got married. and i have white babies now. and i opened a twitter account. and i tweet now. so that's about it. you're all caught up. >> jimmy: those are four very big things. how old are you babies now? >> they just turned two. >> jimmy: oh all right. they say it's easier if you have two kids because they entertain each other. is that true? >> that's a bunch of bull. that's a lie. >> jimmy: that's what i think too. >> they don't entertain each other. i don't even think they know each other. they act like -- i have two babies. that's it. they don't do anything together. they don't play with each other. you know. and you go some place.

one goes that way. it's like he's going to look for dog poop and she's running right for traffic. >> jimmy: and then you have to choose which one you're going to chase after. >> you have to choose which one. you know people say you don't have a favorite. i have a favorite. >> jimmy: you do? >> i do. but, you know, you just can't tell them. you can't let them know you have a favorite. so i have to catch myself because the one who's not the fast i got to stop saying i love you too. i got to stop -- the too. i love you. i can't -- that too, he might catch on. ooh. >> jimmy: the too's not good. too is a bad, bad idea. now, your wife is french. >> yeah yeah. >> jimmy: that seems very glamorous. >> yeah, it sounds nicer than white, doesn't it? [ laughter ] [ laughter ] nobody gets offended when you say french. then again i'm a black superstar, i'm supposed to have a white wife, you know. >> jimmy: that's true.

[ applause ] how did you -- i apologize if i'm being too personal but how -- first of all where do you get the sperm for the babies? >> ooh, that is personal jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> we were hanging out over at the set of "the bachelor." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: cause i have to say i'm offended -- i would have figured i would have been your first call -- >> you know, you're busy jimmy. you have a lot going on. >> jimmy: i'm never that busy. never -- never been that busy in my life. >> next time. >> jimmy: okay, well sure yeah. are you thinking of having more children? >> i'm not thinking about it no. >> jimmy: do the kids speak french also? >> they speak french. >> jimmy: really? >> because she only speaks french to the babies. >> jimmy: wow. >> it's really annoying. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you guys go -- like how french are we talking about? >> oh she's like extra french.

>> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah, yeah she's actually a miami mime. that's how -- >> jimmy: that's very french. >> she's real french. her family's over there. we go all the time. we're going -- >> jimmy: oh, you do? >> yeah, we're going again in june. you know it's like france is like my in-law country now, you know. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's like the in-laws, you ain't real crazy about them but you got to hang with them every now and then. that's kind of like what it is. >> jimmy: do you like french people in general? >> well jimmy, you know -- [ laughter ] in general, yeah. but there's a lot of specific things that gets on my damn nerves about the french. >> jimmy: like what? >> one -- okay first, they're rude. they're very rude. like i was over there and -- they don't like to stand in line. they just bum rush everything. >> jimmy: oh really? >> and i'm like, i'm in line at the subway the machine -- this guy just runs right in front of me. i'm like, hey, what the hell was

that? of course, he doesn't know what i'm saying because he speaks french. so i can't even give him a good cursing out because -- so i'm like, hey, man, what's that? i thought maybe it was a race thing, like french people just think they can cut in front of black people. i was like, oh man, we don't play that. i was getting ready to just, you know, talk to him in a language that he would understand, you know. >> jimmy: right, right. >> and my wife goes, no no no no, that's just french it's not racist, it's just french. i'm like so all of ya'll are just [ bleep ] basically, that's what you're telling me? there's no social graces? [ applause ] it's not -- i'd rather for it to be a race thing instead -- >> jimmy: it's more interesting that way. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: well, we're going to take a quick break if you don't mind, and we'll come back. wanda sykes is here. you can see her live at theborgata hotel and casino and spa in

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l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l >> jimmy: hi, everyone, we're back with wanda sykes. ashley hebert "the bachelorette," and foster the people still to come. do you watch "the bachelorette"? >> not really. >> jimmy: you watch "dancing with the stars," right? >> right. >> jimmy: i heard a rumor you

might do "dancing with the stars," is that true? >> no, you're probably think of macy gray. you see black women, crazy hair. >> jimmy: she did "dancing with the stars" already. >> yes, she did. >> jimmy: well, she barely did "dancing with the stars." would you consider doing it? because as ambassador to it isthe network, i think i have permission to invite you to do the show. that would be great to have you on the show. >> i don't think so jimmy. >> jimmy: are you a good dancer? >> no, no. i'm like a drunk dancer. i wouldn't follow the rules and, you know -- >> jimmy: i think that's why it would be great to have you on. >> this is totally for your entertainment? >> jimmy: i think you'd be funny on the show. i think you'd get votes on that alone. if you can dance even decently you'd be all set. think about it. >> all right, i'll think about it. nope, nope. >> jimmy: no? >> nope. >> jimmy: i heard you did something which i was surprised. you did a stage show, "annie," right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: where did you do that

show? >> it was at a theater in media, ba pennsylvania. >> jimmy: why "annie"? >> it was offered to me. i love theater. i thought, it's a great opportunity. we get to do a little bit of what we enjoy doing, being in front of a live audience, you know, but also working with a cast so -- >> jimmy: did you sing? >> yeah i had to sing. but it was like that drunk singing though because i played miss hanigan so she's just a mean drunk so it was -- >> jimmy: it worked out. >> it was more like your aunt gets drunk at the family reunion and starts singing. that's what i did. >> jimmy: was it fun? is it something you enjoyed? >> it was a lot of fun. best part -- they say you never should work with kids or animals. this play has a dog and a bunch of kids. so the scene where annie first meets the dog, sandy, right, you know, she comes out, and she sees him and has to sing "tomorrow." but the dog would staelt show

because every time she pulls him out there, she goes -- ♪ the sun will come out tomorrow ♪ and the dog would do a take to the audience like "can you believe this [ bleep ]"? [ applause ] every night. i got to listen to this. ugh, the audience was just fall-out laughing. >> jimmy: that's great. i heard you're doing a show in anchorage, alaska. >> yes. >> jimmy: a comedy show up there. what's that like? >> they're so appreciative. you know? because they're like anybody who comes to anchorage they're going to see. they're just happy you're there. i don't even tell jokes. i just go sit there. >> jimmy: you look around. that's all you need to do? >> and they're happy. >> jimmy: so you like that that's all right? >> oh, yeah i love that. >> jimmy: you bring the whole family or go by yourself? >> no, no no, i don't take the family there.

i mean, come on who wants to go to alaska really? >> jimmy: they might not be so excited now when you get there. >> yeah exactly. >> jimmy: and of course the borgata hotel in atlantic city. the date again is june 4th. it's so great to see you. come back again. don't make it so long the next time. wanda sykes, everybody. we'll be right back with "the bachelorette," ashley hebert. my contacts are so annoying. they're itchy dry and uncomfortable. i can't wait to take 'em out, throw 'em away and never see them again. [ male announcer ] know the feeling? get the contacts you've got to see to believe. acuvue® oasys® brand contact lenses. feel how hydraclear® plus keeps your eyes exceptionally comfortable all day long. it feels like it disappeared on my eye. [ male announcer ] discover why it's the brand eye doctors trust most for comfort. and if you're not 100 percent satisfied you get your money back. guaranteed. are they on? 'cause they don't feel like they are. [ male announcer ] acuvue® oasys® brand. see what could be. to increase fuel efficiency, its profile is sculpted for optimal aerodynamics...

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>> jimmy: hi, everybody. still to come, music from foster the people. earlier tonight, you saw our next guest being wooed by 25 men, ncluding a butcher, a hairstylist, a dentist, and a guy who looks like josh groban. you can follow her adventures in love every monday night at 8:00 on "the bachelorette." please welcome ashley hebert. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: are you officially a dentist yet? >> so close. technically, i graduated last week. >> jimmy: so you are a dentist, aren't you? >> kind of. i have to make up for the time i lost so i'm going to be there throughout the summer making up credits and stuff. >> jimmy: there's no way you can comb bint bacheloring and dentistry and clean the guys' teeth during the flow? >> no. did you see the floss? that wooed me. do you need a new dentist, is

that why you're asking? >> jimmy: no, but i could use a checkup while you're here. that might save me some time. >> okay turn around. >> jimmy: you also do it the other way, huh? you can get in from there? you definitely need to finish those credits because my dentist goes in through the mouth. [ applause ] that's step one. >> that's good that was good. >> jimmy: now, what people don't realize probably is you're finished taping the whole season of the show. >> yeah it's complete. >> jimmy: are you happy? have you been watching the show together? how's it going? >> you tried to be tricky there. >> jimmy: it never works. is there someone at abc that coaches you and tells you not to answer any of my questions? >> i'm my own couchach. i want people to root for -- >> jimmy: i like ruining it. >> how do you know i picked

somebody? >> jimmy: i don't know you picked somebody. >> so. >> jimmy: you guys are very crafty as far as throwing me up because i never know exactly what's going on. >> really? >> jimmy: sometimes i'll go back and figure it out but i never really know what's going on. but i hope that it worked out for you and that you found somebody. ooh, that's an interesting head nod. >> i'm very happy with the way things turned out. i'll tell you that. >> jimmy: you are happy with the way things turned out? the. >> yes. >> jimmy: let's go through some of these guys. >> okay. >> jimmy: because there were some weirdos. first of all, a gentleman named jeff. >> hi. i'm jeff. >> nice to meet you, jeff. >> are you excited? >> yeah. >> well, i wanted to let you know that i wanted to take my face out of the game. >> jimmy: okay. >> and have you learn about what's inside. >> jimmy: okay that's unacceptable. and yet -- i mean, he's dressed like the green hornet but you gave him a rose. >> listen i'll tell you this

when he first stepped out of the limo, i thought, what is this guy doing, is he just trying to get attention. >> jimmy: yes. >> but then after i talked to him, liked the idea behind it. i thought it was clever. i thought it was a good way to stand out. i was intrigued. >> jimmy: how do you think the guys who you didn't pick felt about losing to the guy with the mask on? and, by the way, another red flag to me entrepreneur. that means -- that's french for unemployed. [ applause ] you have to keep an eye out for these guys. >> you'll see what happens. >> jimmy: okay i hope you don't have little babies with masks on them and stuff. >> i was going to wear a mask tonight. >> jimmy: it's a bad idea to wear a mask on television. the other thing i say, not for you because you're done with this if the guys don't like the guy, the guy's no good. if the group doesn't like him, that's a bad sign. >> do you think so? >> jimmy: i very much think so. >> i don't always agree with that. you'll have to keep watching. we'll have to stay in touch.

>> jimmy: i will. let's look at drunken tim. [ tim snoring ] >> tim? [ tim continues snoring ] tim? tim? hey, tim? >> jimmy: tim is the first guy to ever die on "the bachelorette." now, tim had to go home right? i mean literally had to go home. >> yes. yeah. >> jimmy: is snoring a deal breaker for you? >> no but getting heavily intoxicated the first night they meet me is. >> jimmy: that's a bad -- >> yeah that's a bad thing. >> jimmy: but the worst guy of all in my opinion is this guy bentley. bentley, first of all, named after an obnoxious car. >> i like the name. i like the name.

>> jimmy: the name is great if you're on "the jeffersons." if you're a real person -- >> you are on tonight. >> jimmy: -- it's not good. i have a lot of thoughts. i watch this and i feel like i wish i could have helped you during the process pick these guys guys. i see things you don't get to see necessarily. have you seen next week's show yet? >> no. >> jimmy: this could potentially upset you. let's take a look at bentley. >> she's obviously a beautiful girl. she has a great body. amazing butt. and rocking legs. and having her [ bleep ], that would be amazing. the competition makes it exciting and competing for her. that's the extent in terms of my interest in her. but she's just not my type. >> jimmy: now, does that surprise you? >> i mean you know i'm surpriseled by a lot of things

that i've been seeing. >> jimmy: have you ever heard a man say tickle my pickle before? >> no no no. >> jimmy: that's unacceptable. >> i've never seen that. thank you for showing me that. i'm going to go now. >> jimmy: well you're welcome. bentley didn't make it very far i hope. >> you'll have to wait and see. >> jimmy: oh, wow. did you make a mistake? >> i made a lot of mistakes. >> jimmy: really? really? >> just wait. >> jimmy: all right, well i look forward to seeing it. i look forward to summing it up when it's all over with you. >> who did you like? >> jimmy: there was about ten guys that seemed okay to me. >> oh, that's good. ten is a good number. >> jimmy: some of the guys i can't tell because it's like eric m. and eric l. or whatever but i will form an opinion. >> okay. >> jimmy: trust me on this. it's very good to see you. >> good to see you. >> jimmy: we'll speak to you hopefully during the season that his madness progresses. >> definitely. >> jimmy: ashley hebert everybody, "the bachelorette." we'll be right back with foster the people.

re with the song "pumped up kicks," foster the people. ♪ ♪ ♪ robert's got a quick hand he'll look around the room he won't tell you his plan he's got a rolled cigarette ♪ ♪ hanging out his mouth he's a cowboy kid yeah ♪ ♪ he found a six shooter gun in his dad's closet hidden in a box of fun things and i don't even know what ♪

♪ but he's coming for you yeah he's coming for you ♪ ♪ all the other kids with the pumped up kicks you better run better run outrun my gun ♪ ♪ all the other kids with the pumped up kicks you better run better run faster than my bullet ♪ ♪ all the other kids with the pumped up kicks you better run better run faster than my bullet ♪ ♪ daddy works a long day coming home late yeah he's coming home late and he's bringing me a surprise ♪ ♪ `cause dinner's in the kitchen and it's packed in ice ♪ ♪ i've waited for a long time yeah the slight of my hand is now a quick pull trigger ♪ ♪ i reason with my cigarette and say your hair's on fire you must have lost your wits yeah ♪ ♪ all the other kids

with the pumped up kicks you better run better run outrun my gun ♪ ♪ all the other kids with the pumped up kicks you better run better run faster than my bullet ♪ ♪ all the other kids with the pumped up kicks you better run better run outrun my gun ♪ ♪ all the other kids with the pumped up kicks you better run better run faster than my bullet ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ all the other kids

with the pumped up kicks you better run ♪ ♪ all the other kids with the pumped up kicks you better run better run faster than my bullet ♪ ♪ all the other kids with the pumped up kicks you better run better run outrun my gun ♪ ♪ all the other kids with the pumped up kicks you better run better run faster than my bullet ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i want to thank wanda sykes, ashley hebert. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. tomorrow night, the winner of "dancing with the stars," taylor lautner and britney spears. "torches" just came out today. playing us off the air with