that's our report for tonight. thanks for watching abc news. we want to wish all of you a very happy memorial day. >> dicky: tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: that's what happens when you impregnate your maid. there's no one to clean up your mess for you anymore. >> dicky: khloe kardashian odom. >> as soon as he's done lift your legsup and have him hold them over you. >> dicky: science bob pflugfelder. >> there you go. you're on fire! >> dicky: and music from scott weiland. >> jimmy: i might just get naked and run around screaming at the top of my lungs. >> dicky: "jimmy kimmel live," coming up next.fxfxfx#ñ#ñ#ñ#ñ#ññ

>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with exciting news. "jimmy kimmel live" now has an app. that's right. we have an app, just like a real show. here now with all the details, our spokesmodel, katie. hello, katie. [ applause ] how are you? >> good, how are you? >> jimmy: go ahead. >> we are pleased to -- you -- what was that? sorry. >> jimmy: yours is in blue. >> hello, i'm pleased to be here to introduce the "jimmy kimmel live" app. >> jimmy: and we are pleased to have you, katie. tell us about some of the app's features. >> with the "jimmy kimmel live" app, you can watch video from the show anywhere on the go. >> jimmy: even like in the tub? >> i mean, if it's waterproof. >> jimmy: even at the circus? >> i mean, sure, if you want to,

what if you lose it on a roller coaster? >> jimmy: even if you're riding a unicorn in heaven? >> a unicorn? i don't -- it would be hard to ride that and hold this at the same time. >> jimmy: okay, back to the cue cards. [ laughter ] >> and you can read all jimmy kimmel's hilarious personal tweets. and best of all, it's free and available on the ipad, iphone and ipod touch. >> jimmy: how do we install the app? >> simply go to the itunes apple store, then type your name. then click the free -- >> jimmy: whose name? theirs or mine? >> yours, jimmy kimmel, duh. [ laughter ] then click the free install button and wait for it to download and install. >> jimmy: wow. it's so easy, even i can do it. thanks, katie. >> thanks. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" app. available exclusively at the apple app store. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with khloe kardashian odom. "science bob" pflugfelder. and music from scott weiland.

losing power shouldn't mean losing time. the nextec quickboost. giving you a charge in just 3 minutes, getting you back to work faster. craftsman. trust. in your hands. now hard-to-reach is never out-of-reach. the next generation craftsman ammerhead., it's an auohammer but the only one with an articulating head for superior access. get a free drill with purchase of one of these, 12-volt tools. craftsman. trust. in your hands. that's trident layers. the gum with layers of flavors. [ excited ] of course you can pay me in gum! no one ever pays me in gum. [ male announcer ] layers and layers and layers of flavor. trident layers. you could spend as much as $200. olay says challenge that with an instrument that cleanses as effectively as what's sold by skin professionals for a whole lot less. new olay pro x advanced cleansing system.

i'm telling you, it was drop dead -- [ sizzling ] ♪ so joey says to the guy -- [ sizzling ] [ male announcer ] fresh flavor never sounded so good. [ sizzling ] love when that happens. [ male announcer ] applebee's introduces two new sizzling entrees. try the new sizzling cajun steak and shrimp or our new sizzling smokehouse chicken stack. new sizzling entrees, starting at $8.99. only at applebee's. there's no place like the neighborhood. open 'til midnight or later.

>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- khloe kardashian odom. "science bob" pflugfelder. and music from scott weiland. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, moving right along, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thank you for being here. merry apocalypse eve to every one of you here.

the apocalypse -- tonight, really, may 21st is the day on which an evangelical radio broadcaster named harold camping has convinced his followers the apocalypse will begin. tomorrow. meanwhile, i checked the weather a half hour ago. we have maybe a 10% chance of apocalypse tomorrow. this guy says the apocalypse will start with a huge earthquake that will shake all the true believers up to heaven and leave everyone else down here. it's like god playing boggle. with our souls. what are the safety procedures during this? do you stand in a doorway? do you stop, drop and roll? i might just get naked and run around screaming at the top of my lungs. [ applause ] that's how i handle most emergencies. some people have actually quit their jobs in preparation for this. i saw family on the news, they totally bought into it. they sold all their things. it's kind of sad. though, i did get a great deal on a weed whacker.

$2. [ laughter ] one guy spent his entire life savings, spent $140,000 on an ad campaign to warn people, which -- i know that's crazy, but we should chip in and get him the money back on monday, right? it's the thought that counts, isn't it? the prophet in this case, he runs a company called family radio. and here's how he came up with this specific date, may 21st, 2011. >> 7,000 years, i learned, several decades ago that the flood was 4990. i knew now that the end was 2011, when we add 4990 to 2011, you get 7,001. but the -- in going from the old testament calendar to the new testament coordinated with us,

there's no year zero, so, you have to subtract one year to get an exact amount of time, and it came out 7,000 years. >> jimmy: all right, well, the numbers are there. you can't argue with that. by the way -- [ applause ] i just want to point out that the guy is -- this is an 89-year-old man. he may be right, the apocalypse may be coming, but it's only coming for him this weekend. [ laughter ] [ applause ] let's -- you know what we ought to do? let's all dress up like angels and show up in his bedroom tonight. [ laughter ] apparently this family radio group wanted to warn children about the apocalypse, too, so, harold camping had this educational cartoon produced. just to make sure kids aren't frightened when the end of days descend upon them. >> this date, may 21, 2011, is extremely important, as it will also be the first day of judgment, a time of horrible

death and destruction for all those who are left behind. >> jimmy: oh. so sleep tight, kids, and don't let the bedbugs bite. what kind of a thing is that? [ applause ] by the way, what if the apocalypse does happen tomorrow? how embarrassing will that be for us, right? burn in hell, you smartasses! even if we don't die this weekend, and we will, we really have no reason to keep living. wednesday is the last oprah show. and -- as you know, oprah is stepping down from her show after news broke tuesday that she fathered a love child with her maid. something like that. really going all out. with their final show. yesterday's show was oprah's most memorable guests of all time. today was oprah's favorite guests of all time. then monday is five quick and easy fish dinners and then the finale and then another finale. part of oprah's set is at a new museum of broadcast

communications in chicago right now. the door from oprah's studio will be displayed in the lobby there until july. so -- hey, kids, want to go see oprah's door? yay. oprah's door. we were unable to get oprah's door for our show tonight but we have been honoring oprah in our own way. over the last week. we have been taking audio from some of her greatest moments and combining it with video from some of the great cartoons the world has ever known. tonight, we bring you oprah's famous coach interview with tom cruise, mashed up with video from "dora the explorer." enjoy. >> but tom, you never had this kind of feeling before. >> i honestly, i haven't. >> really? >> it's something that has happened that i feel i want to celebrate it. >> what has happened to you? what -- >> that's how i feel about it. >> something happened to you. >> i'm in love.

>> i have never seen you like this! i've never seen this. >> i know. >> you are gone. >> i'm in love. [ applause ] >> jimmy: whenever i'm in love, i get on a unicycle and juggle hot dogs, too. dora had the same suri cruise haircut there. arnold schwarzenegger today announced that he's putting his career on hold so he can focus on personal matters. either that or he's putting korea on hold. it's hard to understand him. he apparently asked his talent agency to hold off on all entertainment projects while he cleans up the mess he got into. see, that's what happens when you impregnate your maid. there's no one to clean up your mess for you. [ applause ] it's interesting to see people's reactions. jane seymour, the actress,

slammed arnold at a red carpet event this week. she said she wasn't even remotely surprised by the news and she said she's heard he has two more children he may have fathered out of wedlock. i was wondering when dr. quinn medicine woman would finally weigh in on this situation. these rumors of other children are just rumors. but i am concerned. i mean, what if arnold -- go with me here. what if he's secretly breeding a race of mini arnolds to take over the world? we need to figure out how to defend ourselves and we need dr. quinn to lead us. [ applause ] there's been a -- there has been much made of this schwarzenegger fiasco, but this might be my favorite news item of all. melissa mccarthy from our local kcal news was reporting from arnold's star on the hollywood walk of fame. you have to do, they find a place and, we're reporting from arnold's star, as if that adds anything. but she forgot the number one rule of reporting, and that is, don't stand in front of giant video screen unless you control what is on it.

>> now, every expert we've talked to agrees it's going to take time and humility to entice fans back to his movies. we're live in hollywood tonight. melissa mccarthy, kcal news. >> jimmy: maybe his avatar is a sexual harasser. there's some controversy -- is anyone here from tennessee tonight? i didn't think so. [ laughter ] there's a bill in tennessee that would prevent teachers from discussing homosexuality in schools. it's been approved by the state senate committee. if it passes, teachers won't be able to mention gays at all. in any context in school. i'm not sure what the point of it is, but a lot of people are opposed and upset by the idea, including actor george takei, of "star trek" fame, who shot this video to support those who oppose the bill. >> i'm george takei.

a bill recently approved in a tennessee senate committee would prohibit teachers in that state from discussing homosexuality in the classroom. the so-called don't say gay law is premised on the misguided belief that, by not talking about gay people, they can simply make us disappear. i'm here to tell tennessee, and all lgbt youth and teachers who would be affected by this law that i am here for you. in fact, i am lending my name to the cause. any time you need to say the word "gay," you can simply say "takei." even homophobic slurs don't seem so hurtful if someone says, "that is so takei." >> jimmy: that's a wonderful idea. [ cheers and applause ] fortunately, i've been doing that already for years. meanwhile, republican presidential candidate newt gingrich had some gay opposition this week.

if you don't know much about newt gingrich, he's like donald trump without the charisma. he's -- [ laughter ] on tuesday, newt and his latest wife were at a book signing in minneapolis when this man -- a gay activist -- dumped glitter on him. to protest his views on gay marriage. and newt's against gay marriage. and yesterday, while newt was giving a speech in ames, iowa, his cell phone went off. and his ringtone came on, and his ringtone is "dancing queen" by abba. for real. [ applause ] so, while obama was focusing on abbottabad, gingrich was focusing on abba. what kind of glitter was that? he dumped on him? i don't know what it did, but -- can you be against gay marriage when you have "dancing queen" as your ringtone? being against gay marriage when you have that as your ringtone is like being against gay marriage when you have "dancing queen" as your ringtone.

doesn't make sense. [ applause ] and while -- newt, of course, was initially embarrassed, it seems like he's actually now embracing it. >> newt gingrich. fighting to cut taxes, balance the budget and reform welfare. he can dance. he can jive. he's having the time of his life. newt gingrich. take a chance on him. take a chance. take a chance. >> i'm newt gingrich. and i think this message is fabulous. >> jimmy: oh, well, that's nice. anti-gay marriage but very pro-gay music. [ cheers and applause ] i've always said, "mamma mia" will change a man. is everyone excited about the premiere of "the bachelorette" on monday? let me see. is anyone excited about this premiere? the bachelorette this time around is a dental student named ashley. she came in third last season on

"the bachelor." she'll be here on monday night. when she gets here, i want to ask her about a promo abc is running. because i think the way she's going about trying to find a man might be a little bit off. >> monday, may 23rd, 26-year-old dental student ashley follows her heart to find love among 25 eligible men. for ten amazing weeks, she'll wine them, dine them, romance them -- and drill into their teeth! >> ahh! >> "the bachelorette." >> open wide! >> root canal of love. on abc. >> now spit! [ applause ] >> jimmy: you see what i mean? no place for flossing. and one more thing. another week has come to a close, it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> on the set of the 1988 movie "twins," a shocking claim from a stand-in named carla.

>> he started [ bleep ] me. and then the [ bleep ] went in and i thought -- and then the [ bleep ] went in further and it was -- it was in the back of my throat. >> i have to say, big wise things. >> okay. so, what are you -- >> i like black and white [ bleep ]. >> twinkie the terrier. we're going to [ bleep ] her in a little bit. >> behind closed doors, these two leaders actually get along a lot better than people think, and they are actually pretty frequent [ bleep ] buddies. >> i work. thought about writing, what i was going to write next. i play with my [ bleep ]. >> there's a dance event this weekend called -- >> i [ bleep ] love to dance. >> i [ bleep ] love to dance. >> i [ bleep ] love to dance. >> with some of the best [ bleep ] dance teachers in the world. >> what do you say to the people from l.a. that are complaining about this weather? >> you need to suck [ bleep ]. >> and that's what i'm doing, guys, i'm [ bleep ]. >> here's more of what we know. about arnold's love child. he's often seen around his neighborhood [ bleep ]ing a poodle named sugar.

>> almost died once choking on a [ bleep ]. i had this [ bleep ] and i was going -- >> is this what the krusty krab calls friendly service? >> sorry, sir. can i take your order? >> now that's more like it. >> i'll go nude if you go nude. >> all right. i'll be happy to go nude with you. i mean, we've [ bleep ] before, why not go nude? >> i know you have. >> and he's not bad. >> jimmy: well, thank you. thank you, regis. hey, we have a good show tonight. "science bob" pflugfelder is here. and he's going to set me on fire. we have music from scott weiland. and we'll be right back with khloe kardashian odom, so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] [ male announcer ] at e-trade, low cost investing doesn't just mean a low price. it means getting everything you need to invest for yourself, not by yourself. it means choosing from stocks, bonds, mutual funds,

and every etf sold. plus 5-star service and research designed to increase your intelligence, not insult it. so you can wave good riddance to some high-priced joker churning out cookie cutter portfolios. price is one thing. value is another. don't confuse the two. e-trade. investing unleashed. ♪ get ready for the parties in the cul-de-sac. ♪ ♪ beach ball, sunscreen, ice cream please! ♪ ♪ board shorts, bikinis and graphic tees. ♪ vo: everyone's invited. all graphic tees and swim starting at 6 bucks. at old navy. friend 2: on several occasions i stopped you from mentioning your action figure collection. hiiya! friend 3: if it weren't for me you'd still be in prison. friend 4: i saved your life, twice. avo: you've always trusted your friends. now when you search on bing, your friends on facebook help you decide. friend 5: i like umi sake house. friend 6: they don't judge you if you can't use chop sticks.

avo: bing and decide. with your friends. it's my crystal ball. it looks like a snow globe. nuh-huh. it's real. here...watch! free doritos at the office today? [ crash! ] i think that's a yes! [ man ] free doritos! will i finally get that big promotion? ugh! promotion? not in your future. professional driver on a closed course. ♪

do not attempt at home. always wear your seat belt. ♪ and please drive responsibly. [ male announcer ] it's the most fun you can legally have. see your authorized mercedes-benz dealer for exceptional offers on the c-class.

>> jimmy: well, thank you, cleto cleto and the cletones,

everyone. tonight on the show, our old pal "science bob" pflugfelder is here. science bob is a teacher from newton, massachusetts, with a rid tick husband last name. and this is what happened the last time he was here. >> here we go. wow! >> fire! >> jimmy: whoa! here we go. whoa! >> wow. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. he made a cloud appear in the studio. tonight, he's going to do something awesome with a leaf blower. he's going to do something with eggs and he's going to set me on fire here on the show, so -- [ applause ] i don't know why that would be reason for applause. and then, lead singer from stone temple pilots and velvet revolver. this is his new memoir called "not dead and not for sale." scott weiland is here, with music from the bud light stage. he's doing a depeche mode song. next week on the show, taylor lautner will be here, he's very handsome.

wanda sykes is with us, mike tyson will pay a visit to promote "the hangover 2," our new "bachelorette," ashley hebert, from "modern family," jesse tyler ferguson, author sarah vowell, the winner of "dancing with the stars" will be here. christina aguilera and we'll have music from foster the people, big sean, maybach music group featuring rick ross and britney spears. so join us next week for all of that. our first guest tonight has more than 3 million people following her on twitter and at least half of that following her with cameras pretty much everywhere she goes. you can share in her marital bliss on "khloe & lamar." watch it sunday nights at 10:00 on e! please welcome khloe kardashian odom. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look great. >> why thank you. >> jimmy: you are already tall and you made yourself even taller with those shoes. >> why do you think i married

lamar? so i can wear these. >> jimmy: yeah, really. no kidding around. >> all about that. you have to find the right size man to, you know. >> jimmy: i've always said that. but what -- what if lamar starts wearing louis vuitton, and he gets taller and you have to get taller than him and there's no end to it. like the arms race. >> jimmy: what do you do on your free time? you wear women's shoes? >> jimmy: they're not just for women. >> to each their own. do you still have the pumpkin? >> jimmy: no, i told you, the pumpkin was destroyed once you guys reached one year. we had a pumpkin. we wanted to know which would last longer, your marriage or the pumpkin. and you beat the pumpkin. >> jimmy was one of the haters. and -- sorry. >> jimmy: well, in fairness to me, you were married for, like, 11 minutes before you -- i mean -- >> i knew him for 11 minutes and then we got married. >> jimmy: and then you got married. and this is hollywood. and really, like, two years now, you're like a grand old couple. >> it's so weird. >> jimmy: you should have kids by now.

>> that's what's so weird. about hollywood. it's like, okay. even for my sister kim. she's been dating a few months and people want to, like, is she engaged? why do they rush things so long? with the kids, i've been married almost two years and everyone thinks i'm desperate to have a baby. i love kids but i'm also enjoying getting to know my husband. >> jimmy: yeah, well, you can wait for a few years. who is bothering you -- your family telling you? >> kourtney says i want mason to have a cousin. but it's more -- the craziest story, i was with lamar, we were sitting on the couch and my mom called me and, you know how sometimes on a cell phone you can hear the person on the other line. and she was just like, so, how are you doing? and i'm like, good, how are you? and she's like, no, how is everything going? and i was like, i don't know what you mean. i'm fine. she's like -- are you having enough sex? and i was like -- what? she doesn't normally talk to me like that. she started getting so graphic and saying, when i was with your dad, i had four kids right away, it was so easy.

you're 26, you should be having, on your second one by now and she's like, but with bruce it was harder, so i understand. so i learned -- [ laughter ] no. she started going into, i learned all the sexual positions. and, you know, as soon as he's done, lift your legs up and have him hold them over you. [ laughter ] no, but -- i'm -- first of all -- >> jimmy: like a fish or something? >> yes. >> jimmy: look what i caught. >> look what i caught. first of all, the vision that i got in my head of bruce ever doing that to my mother makes me want to vomit. >> jimmy: it's weird. they didn't put that on the wheaties box, that's for sure. >> no, they didn't. they didn't. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's weird. from your mom. >> second, i had lamar sitting next to me and he's staring at me so, like -- is this what you guys talk about? like, and i swear we have never had that conversation before, for some reason she did it. bad timing, lamar was right next to me and he's like, you and your mom have a weird relationship, like -- no one should be telling you how to hold your legs after sex.

>> jimmy: yeah, no. >> so, yes, i get pressure to have kids. >> jimmy: yeah, i guess so. how is lamar doing? is he depressed now? with the lakers being out? are you happy the lakers got eliminated? so you can have him there at home? >> no. i mean, i -- i mean, obviously i want him to win another championship and have that moment -- >> jimmy: you have never been married to someone who isn't a world champion before. >> right. [ laughter ] i have only been married to one person. >> jimmy: lamar still is a world champion. >> he is, double time. and gold medalist and sixth man of the year award, so, do not make me get in your face. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm on his side. >> i know. one of the last times i was here you were watching the boston/laker game under your table over here. >> jimmy: exactly, yeah. >> and i told on you. >> jimmy: i'm allowed. i sneak basketball under there. but is he -- i don't know why i want to hear he's upset, though, that -- >> oh, no, he is. definitely upset. he's definitely -- >> jimmy: good. >> no, he is.

[ laughter ] he wanted -- he was so hungry, he wanted to win a third championship, that's what he wanted. and after winning the gold in turkey he was prepared the whole summer to go into this season and he did so well but you know, i mean, you can't win them all but try telling him that. i tried telling him that when he came home and that -- >> jimmy: he didn't want to hear that? >> no. >> jimmy: good. i like to hear that. i want him obsessing and preparing -- >> he rewatches the game. and i'm like, why are you doing this to yourself? like -- but i've learned, i have to just let him talk, even though -- i'm learning basketball. before lamar i never watched it. so, i'm learning basketball and half the time, i have no idea what the hell, like, goaltending, and i'm like, okay, yeah. and i just -- but he just needs a therapist so i just sit there and let him talk. >> jimmy: is your brother still living with you? i know on the show he's living with you. >> yeah, he lives with us. >> jimmy: why does he live with you? >> good question. well -- when we -- first when lamar and i got married, we got married so fast, so -- >> jimmy: really fast. >> really fast.

so we lived in a hotel until we found a house. we were staying in a hotel and we found a house and i was so -- i -- including bruce's kids, i have ten brothers and sisters. we all grew up in one household. i'm so thrilled to be alone with someone, like, just, like, no brothers and sisters, no one taking my stuff. no one invading my space. but lamar asked rob -- lamar is an only child. robert has no real brothers and my father passed away and lamar asked rob, said, hey, you're 24 -- at the time, he was 22, i think you should come live with us. it could be good. it's kind of own your own, but baby steps. and he also -- he's on the road so much, he felt more comfortable leaving me home alone -- >> jimmy: this was lamar's idea and he did not run it by you first? >> no. >> jimmy: he should have. >> and i know a week later robert comes over with a duffel bag. and i'm like, what are you doing? and he's like, didn't lamar tell you, i'm moving in. and robert was thrilled -- we had a lot of, at first, i was filming "kourtney and khloe take

miami." we had a lot of bumping heads. robert had no boundaries. now rob's getting the boundaries more, but i have a rule that i won't let him bring whorebags over. >> jimmy: does that mean all women? >> no. [ cheers and applause ] not all women. my brother's 24 years old so he likes to, you know, play games. with girls. >> jimmy: how do you determine who is a whorebag? and who is not a whorebag? >> well, when you bring a girl home that you were just at a club and they're coming home at 3:00 a.m., and you're requesting -- he calls me and wakes me up, can i bring my "girlfriend" over? and he thinks he says it's his girlfriend i'm going to say sure. i know what he did. he brought a girl and i'm not going to let random people into my home. so, now he's threatening me -- because i really love that he's at my house, now he's saying he wants to move out. >> jimmy: you're going to have to let him have maybe a few whorebags. maybe three whorebags a month. start there.

>> why doesn't he go to your house? >> jimmy: send him over. >> i'm sure you'll like that. >> jimmy: the camera crew will be ready for him. very good to see you. give my best to the entire family. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and i'm glad lamar is -- i'm a laker fan. i want him obsessing, brooding. >> he is. >> jimmy: building up a head of steam to punish everyone for next year. >> amen. >> jimmy: very good. khloe kardashian odom. "khloe & lamar" airs sunday nights at 10:00 on e! we'll be right back with "science bob" pflugfelder. first android 3.0 tablet-- what's so special ? ah, android 3.0 is designed for serious multitasking. oh. did she read my mind ? anyway, how can i convince my wife ? your wife will love the dual-core tegra 2 chipset to stream movies from android market. it's also 4g lte upgradable. must be this toothache making me hear things. say you need a dentist nearby. the new google maps can show you in 3d. a wide selection of tablets at great prices from the people who know them best-- verizon.

to increase its profile is sculpted for optimal aerodynamics... it reduces wind resistance, in an irresistible sort of way the all-new ford focus with up to 40 miles per gallon highway and olive garden's one of the few places we can take them where everyone's happy. try our new four cheese pastachettis. with grilled chicken breasts in a garlic cream sauce. or with grilled sausage. starting at just $9.95. only at olive garden. they're itchy, dry and uncomfortable. i can't wait to take 'em out, throw 'em away and never see them again. [ male announcer ] know the feeling? get the contacts you've got to see to believe. acuvue® oasys brand contact lenses. feel how hydraclear® plus keeps your eyes exceptionally comfortable all day long. it feels like it disappeared on my eye. [ male announcer ] discover why it's the brand eye doctors trust most for comfort. and if you're not 100 percent satisfied, you get your money back. guaranteed. are they on? 'cause they don't feel like they are. [ male announcer ] acuvue® oasys brand. see what could be.

[ male announcer ] with greasy fast food, what are you really getting? lighten up with a subway orchard chicken salad sub, a refreshingly delicious part of a subway fresh fit meal. subway. eat fresh. a refreshingly delicious part of a subway fresh fit meal. congratulations. you wrote a killer resume, nailed the interview and scored your perfect job. you use new mitchum advanced control. you and your armpits stayed calm, cool, and rocked it. though you did lie about being fluent in dutch. now the owner of going dutch inc. has hired you to be his personal translator starting, right now. you might cry, but your pits won't. that's because mitchum gives you 48-hours of protection. perfect for a "woordraadsel." oh, that's dutch for "conundrum." mitchum. maximum strength. ultimate protection. 48 hours a day. that the new focus can it virtually park itself.ve till you actually see it... park itself. the all-new ford focus with class-exclusive active park assist.

>> jimmy: hi there, we're back. still to come, scott weiland. every few months, our next guest stops by to entertain, educate and endanger us in the name of science. he's an actual school teacher at the fessenden school in newton, massachusetts. please welcome "science bob" pflugfelder. hello, science bob. how are you? [ cheers and applause ] thank you for coming out. >> awesome to be here. >> jimmy: who is teaching your class while you are here? >> we have a sub in today. >> jimmy: you have a sub. is science real? >> science is not magic. it's real. >> jimmy: okay. and shouldn't it be -- isn't it better left to the chinese? [ laughter ] >> ah -- it's for everyone. science is for everyone. >> jimmy: that's great. all right.

well, show us what we're going to do here. first experiment? >> all right, sure. do you remember learning about bernoulli's principle? in high school? >> jimmy: who? >> daniel bernoulli. he was an incredible mathematician, incredible scientist, did all sorts of crazy formulas on the way air moves and air pressure. >> jimmy: oh, he was a nerd. i remember him. yeah. we beat him up pretty good. >> yeah. okay. so, anyway, we've taken all of his formulas and all that and managed to use all that technology to make a beach ball float. >> jimmy: okay, good. he'd be very proud, i'm sure. >> so basically, the idea is, when air is moving quickly, it creates a low pressure. so, we're going to put this beach ball over some fast-moving air and then the higher pressure air around it will keep it in place. >> jimmy: what is this thing? >> this is a leaf blower. >> jimmy: oh. all right. >> which i have never used for blowing leaves. it's all for science. >> jimmy: all right. >> hold on to that if you don't mind. you can power that on and point it straight up to the ceiling.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's pretty cool. why does it work like that? >> well, the air going around it is low pressure and then it kind of all scoots around it like that and then the higher pressure air keeps it in place. >> jimmy: that guy was something else. how did he get his hands on a leaf blower in those days? >> i don't know. like the 1700s. >> jimmy: all right, what else are we going to do? >> so, i thought -- this is kind of cool. and i tried it with a balloon but it's too light. so, i wondered if we could do it with lots of balloons. so, come on over here. >> jimmy: okay -- and here you have lots of balloons. >> we have lots of balloons. >> jimmy: okay. >> we're going to power it up again and i'm going to hold this up. it's a wonderful beautiful chain of balloons. point it straight up, there you go. >> jimmy: okay. >> and then you're going to turn it on and see if i can get these just in place to move around a

little bit. >> jimmy: okay. here we go. >> power it up. there you go. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow! >> just like that. >> jimmy: i feel like a circus clown. can i do it at an angle? oh. well -- i got it there at the end. that's nifty. the kids must go crazy for that? >> yeah, science is fun. >> jimmy: i guess so. but then again, there's really no point to that at all, is there? >> science is fun, yeah. >> jimmy: it's fun. exactly. all right. what else do we have here? >> all right, so i figured we'd do -- this is like a little experiment you can do at home. >> jimmy: okay, good. >> so, all you need is a class of water -- >> jimmy: i have that. >> a little pie pan. you can use a piece of cardboard. anything like that. a little tube here, cardboard tube and then a nice uncooked egg. >> jimmy: uncooked? >> uncooked. raw egg.

more dramatic that way. >> jimmy: okay. >> we put that on top. so, the point of that is to use a little bit of physics to get that egg into the water. >> jimmy: all right. >> to do that, i'm going to have you hit the pie pan nice and swiftly. that will convert your energy into the pie pan, the energy will go into the tube. because of newton's law, that -- and never sha, that egg should hopefully just hover for a second and drop into the water. >> jimmy: right into the water? just by me hitting the thing? i hit it right -- straight like that? >> straight like that. >> jimmy: into the audience? here we go. all right. >> good luck. there you go! beautiful! [ applause ] so -- newton's law. >> jimmy: that's good old newton. >> yeah. so -- so that is nice. you can do that at home. i've seen people do that with as many as six eggs all at once and that was cool. i thought we would try to ramp it up a little bit.

so, we have a few eggs here. >> jimmy: open the curtains. this is even more eggs. >> this is more eggs. >> jimmy: how many eggs do we have here? >> we have 60 raw eggs. we've got our glasses underneath. we add a little bit of water to add some drama. >> jimmy: okay. >> then we've got our cardboard here and the tubes. and we're going to try -- >> jimmy: should i swat this at the audience? >> come back around here. what you're going to do is -- this was the tricky part that we had to do a lot of testing on here. what you're going to do is, you're going -- at the right moment, you are going to pull that and that's going to get those, hopefully, to scoot out, the tubes out of the way and all 60 eggs will hopefully drop. >> jimmy: this is like when you're a magician, you pull the table cloth and everything stays on the table. and that never seems to work. >> yeah. all right, so, stand -- so you can move your arm back there. >> jimmy: two hands or one? >> one hand's good. all right, you ready? >> jimmy: count me down.

>> here we go. three, two, one -- pull! >> jimmy: wow. >> beautiful! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. and again, there's -- no point at all to this. >> it's newton's laws. >> jimmy: what else do we have here? that was pretty cool. >> come on over here. >> jimmy: i like that. i love that i don't have to clean it up, too. >> i'll clean it up. it's all right. so, you mentioned a little bit about setting you on fire. >> jimmy: you're going to set me on fire. right? >> yeah. so, you might want to take -- >> jimmy: let me take off my lab coat. >> i like polymers and slimes and things like that. >> jimmy: who doesn't? >> so, i worked with a couple friends and we have created a specific polymer blend -- >> jimmy: you did, huh? >> yes. >> jimmy: all right. >> and the idea behind this is that it will act as a -- an insulator.

and now they're using these great gels in wildfires and spraying them on houses and they are actually protecting the houses from getting burned. so we're going to try -- >> jimmy: so, we have taken some of their desperately needed anti-fire materials to use for this nonsense. >> just for you. that's right. >> jimmy: now, i put my arm in here, right? >> here's what you're going to do. >> jimmy: great. do these ever help anyone? >> they look good. make a fist. punch it down in there. >> jimmy: wow. >> get that covered in and kind of lift it out and give it a little wiggle. as you lift it out. >> jimmy: remember when paris hilton and nicole richie delivered that cow? look at that. >> all right. it's going to drip but that's fine. >> jimmy: okay. >> so, this does not -- >> jimmy: this is -- this is not the first time i've been in this scenario. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]

>> all right. that will not burn. this is the flammable aspect of this. and this will burn probably a little over 1,000 degrees. >> jimmy: 1,000? that seems like too many degrees. >> that's a lot of degrees. that's true. all right, great. so -- now, we should mention -- not -- this is a special blend, you can't do this at home. >> jimmy: look like i'm in "ghostbusters" right now. >> dangerous, never try this at home. are you ready? come up a little bit, tilt it up, there you go. and you're on fire! >> jimmy: it's getting hot. >> all right. sorry. >> jimmy: "science bob" pflugfelder, everybody. you can find ideas for more demonstrations from science bob on our website, jimmykimmellive.com and what is your website? >> sciencebob.com. >> jimmy: sciencebob.com. we'll be right back with music from scott weiland.

[ door closes, silence ] [ male announcer ] i know what you're thinking. "leather-trimmed command center, "almost 300 horsepower, "infiniti surround sound, "seating for seven -- wait. this is a minivan?" makes you almost want to have kids. [ child screams ] [ male announcer ] almost. the new 2011 dodge grand caravan. now get $2,000 cash allowance or 0% financing for 60 months

on select 2011 dodge grand caravans. ♪ get ready for the parties in the cul-de-sac. ♪ ♪ beach ball, sunscreen, ice cream please! ♪ ♪ board shorts, bikinis and graphic tees. ♪ vo: everyone's invited. all graphic tees and swim starting at 6 bucks. at old navy. ♪ ♪ do...just two simple letters. but a million and one imperatives. do. is a challenge. the expectation of greatness.

which is why we don't just make technology we make do machines. super powered creation engines, that make things happen. lenovo. for those who do. that's trident layers. the gum with layers of flavors. [ excited ] of course you can pay me in gum! no one ever pays me in gum. [ male announcer ] layers and layers and layers of flavor. trident layers. i'm telling you, it was drop dead -- [ sizzling ] ♪ so joey says to the guy -- [ sizzling ] [ male announcer ] fresh flavor never sounded so good. [ sizzling ] love when that happens. [ male announcer ] applebee's introduces two new sizzling entrees. try the new sizzling cajun steak and shrimp or our new sizzling smokehouse chicken stack. new sizzling entrees, starting at $8.99. only at applebee's.

there's no place like the neighborhood. open 'til midnight or later.

there's no place like the neighborhood. man: and all the pens are put down... woman: and everything there is to learn is learned. man: till the heroes retire and the monsters return to their dens... woman: and all the plots are wrapped up. man: till that day... boy: by hook or by crook... girl: by book or by nook... woman: i will read. you can take the heat. 'til it turns into heartburn,

you've got what it takes: zantac. it's strong, fast lasting relief. so let them turn up the heat. you can stop that heartburn cold: (sssssssss!!!) zantac. and so we use this k-y yours and mine. now, this one produces an amazing sensation in her... um...in... they get it. ah. [ chuckles ] and this one produces a thrilling feeling on my... but the real surprise is when they combine. ♪ [ giggling ] [ female announcer ] k-y brand yours and mine. save $5 at k-y.com. challenge the need for such heavy measures with olay. new regenerist micro-sculpting serum for firmer skin in 5 days. pretty heavy lifting for such a lightweight. [ female announcer ] olay regenerist.

is the next featured $5 footlong of the month! with tasty chicken, sweet apples and crunch-tastic celery, it's a bushel full o' flavor, and it's joining our many $5 footlongs! subway. eat fresh. [ female announcer ] nutri-grain -- one good decision... can lead to another. ♪ ♪ with real fruit, more of the whole grains your body needs, and a good source of fiber. nutri-grain can help you eat better all day.

>> jimmy: this is his new book. it's called "not dead and not for sale." here with a cover of the depeche mode song, "but not tonight," scott weiland. ♪

♪ oh god, it's raining but i'm not complaining it's filling me up with new life ♪ ♪ the stars in the sky bring tears to my eyes they're lighting my way tonight ♪ ♪ and i haven't felt so alive in years ♪ ♪

♪ just for a day on a day like today i'll get away from this constant debauchery ♪ ♪ the wind in my hair makes me so aware how good it is to live tonight ♪ ♪ and i haven't felt so alive in years ♪ ♪ the moon is shining in the sky reminding me ♪

♪ of so many other nights but they're not like tonight ♪ ♪ ♪ oh god, it's raining but i'm not containing my pleasure at being so wet ♪ ♪ here on my own all on my own how good it feels to be alone tonight ♪

♪ and i haven't felt so alive in years ♪ ♪ the moon is shining in the sky reminding me of so many other nights ♪ ♪ when my eyes have been so red i've been mistaken for dead but not like tonight ♪ ♪ ooh ♪ ooh ♪ ooh

♪ ooh [ cheers and applause ] x

>> jimmy: i want to thank khloe kardashian odom, "science bob" pflugfelder.