>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live game night." tonight -- jimmy sings with r&b superstar usher. from the los angeles lakers, ron artest. and now, here's jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, that's me -- i'm jimmy, and welcome to our "game night" special. and this special, i believe, will be even more special than any special before it. tonight, game five of the nba finals between the mavericks and miami in dallas, which is in texas. game five -- this is when it really gets good, because starting tonight, the baskets are worth two points. [ laughter ] it's kind of like a "final jeopardy" type of thing. the big star for the dallas mavericks is and has been dirk nowitzki. nowitzki is one of the best players, maybe ever -- but because he's german, you know

they smuggled him into dallas inside -- [ laughter ] -- an enormous bratwurst. [ laughter ] but he's not particularly well known to the american public. they did some research that shows nearly 2/3 of americans still don't recognize him, which -- really, you can't pick the seven foot german out of the basketball court? [ laughter ] he's not had the exposure that most superstar athletes get. he's not been on a wheaties box. although, they did put him on the cover of "whities" -- [ laughter ] -- so, that was something, but still not -- [ cheers and applause ] -- the breakfast of champions. isn't there a kardashian sister we could pair him up with? something. [ laughter ] "the dallas morning news" said nowitzki isn't even the most recognized member of his own team. in fact, he's so unrecognizable, the republicans are considering asking him to run for president in 2012. [ laughter ] maybe dirk nowitzki needs to tweet more. twitter is very popular in the nba. i guess they have a lot of down time, because most of these guys tweet more often than they shoot. and tonight, we bring you a

tweet from marcus williams of the memphis grizzlies as read by an 8-year-old girl. it's our nba player tweet of the night.♪ [ cheers and applause ] "my butt smells like the rim of a mustard bottle right now. oh well, i'm not trippin." [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: on second thought, cancel that hotdog. you know, to make it to the finals, a team has to work together. teamwork -- you hear the word all the time, but what does it mean? teamwork means knowing each other so well, you don't even have to speak to communicate. for instance -- watch this. guilright not am i thinking right now? >> are -- are you thinking about a sandwich? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's right. i am thinking about a sandwich. that's exactly what i was thinking about. [ cheers and applause ] you see? part of being a team is picking up on subtle cues. it works for professionals like me and guillermo, and for miami heat forward chris bosh too. >> which allowed chandler to get a roll once and a three on a

hook pass. didn't do it that time -- just protected the rim. >> that time, tyson chandler saw bosh's little signal. >> absolutely. you see the signal right here. [ laughter ] lob, i've got him beat. first time i seen a signal like that. >> jimmy: he's either -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i'm not sure if he's -- [ applause ] either he's signaling for an alley-oop or he's having a stroke and nobody realizes it. [ laughter ] obviously, the villain for some in this nba finals has been lebron james. apparently, he used to play in cleveland, i guess, and then he moved to miami to be closer to his grandparents -- [ laughter ] -- who were living in a jewish retirement home out there. i don't know. anyway, the ratings for the nba finals in cleveland have been huge, second only to miami and dallas. and i was wondering why. are people watching because lebron is from their hometown or are they watching to see him lose? i wanted to know for myself, so we sent a camera crew to cleveland to ask various people around town what they think about their runaway son, lebron james.

>> that's my man. he's getting a ring, and he deserves one. >> well, he's a good player, great player. >> i think that lebron is a great young man, a fantastic player. i'm glad that he was here in cleveland, brought us so much joy for so long. >> i think lebron's a douche. [ laughter ] the way he did the city, the city that loved him and cared for him, totally unacceptable. >> i call him a two-face -- s.o.b. [ laughter ] >> he can go break his knee for all i care. >> well, if i saw lebron james, i'm a hero, i love cleveland, i'd probably burn him up on fire or something like that. >> i think lebron james is -- >> he -- he did some kind of sucks thing, and he is really -- leaving cleveland, i don't know, he was doing well now. and i heard about he's doing the crack sometimes. [ laughter ] i don't know if that's true. >> lebron james. well, you know how lebron james is here in cleveland, you know he's dislikable.

>> lebron, go get -- and don't ever come back to cleveland, because we'll dog your ass. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks, doll. we have a fun show for you tonight. ron artest from the lakers is here. [ cheers and applause ] we found out -- that apparently ron is afraid of animals. so we decided to play a prank on him by asking him to do a public service announcement to support wild animals, and here's just a snippet of how that turned out. >> get the [ bleep ] out of here! yo -- >> it's a very popular pet. >> that's a snake. >> jimmy: yeah, that is a snake. ron artest versus the snake tonight. we'll be right back with a tribute to the men who ride the pine with some help from music superstar usher as our "game night" special marches on. stick around, we'll be right back. fact -- chicken mcnuggets are great. here we go.

add the sauce, it's like the tick to the mcnugget tock. it's like the ping to the pong, the ding to the dong. and now with the new sauces, lips are even smackier, our sweet's even spicier, slam's even dunkier. ♪ [ male announcer ] made with white meat chicken and now new sauces -- the biggest thing to happen to chicken mcnuggets since chicken mcnuggets happened. i totally hear what you're saying. [ male announcer ] the simple joy of making "oohs" ahh-ier. ♪ ♪ i belong ♪ to all that i've been through ♪ ♪ i've been through, i've been through ♪ ♪

♪ [ female announcer ] with the goodness of fresh-picked tea leaves, water, and sunshine. new 100% natural lipton iced tea. you are what you tea. lipton -- drink positive.

>> jimmy: hey, thanks for joining us, it's our "game night" special. still to come, ron artest of the los angeles lakers, on whom we played a little prank. we terrified him with animals, so later tonight, you'll see that. later tonight, by the way at our regular time, watch us with an all new show. our guests are kathy griffin, also, the director of "super 8," j.j. abrams. and we'll hear music from friendly fire, so join us then. [ cheers and applause ] throughout this nba finals, and even the playoffs before that, all eyes have been on the big stars -- lebron james, dirk

nowitzki, dwyane wade -- the guys with the endorsement deals, the guys with the shoes with their names on them. but what about the players who don't actually play? this is the sort of thing that keeps me awake at night. so, i called a very dear friend who knows his way around a microphone, so that these unsung heroes can finally be sung.he benchwoes out to the benchwarmers. ♪ ♪ all the great basketball players have one thing in common ♪ ♪ see they can never be the best type of guys or providers ♪ ♪ the men who wave their towels the jonathans, tonys and gregs ♪ ♪ guys drinking gatorade but you never see their legs on the bench not doing nothing ♪

♪ nothing at all head between their knees yeah stretching out in courtside seats ♪ ♪ high fiving celebrities a-list the bench would be cold without you ♪ ♪ bench warmer sometimes you look dead but we love you bench warmer ♪ ♪ you stand up then you sit back down bench warmers ♪ ♪ for this you travel out of town bench warmers bench warmers ♪ ♪ a high five you're going to need a bench warmer ♪ ♪ low five gotta get a bench warmer getting in the huddle ♪

♪ got to get a bench warmer for a little cuddle oh got to get a bench warmer yeah ♪ ♪ this one goes out to the white guy white guy who never get in the game ♪ ♪ like brian scalabrini he still deserves some fame oh i believe i can fly ♪ ♪ i believe i can touch the sky i think about it every night and day whoo ♪ ♪ i spread my wings and -- >> whoa wait -- hold on. >> jimmy: what? what? >> bench. [ laughter ] ♪ you never play a single minute bench warmer the game is on and you're not in it bench warmer ♪ ♪ in high school you were the best at this bench warmer warm

that bench ♪ ♪ and now you sit down and sit down on the bench in dress all night bench warmer ♪ >> to all of my bench warmers out there, me and jim thank you so much for your support, for all the motivation you give to the real players, all of your unique handshakes, and chest bumps -- we thank you. >> yeah. yeah, thanks. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, usher. we'll be right back with ron artest and scary animals. >> whoa, what the [ bleep ] is that? oh, that's a porcupine. blueshirt: hey america, it's summer. and just because you're on the go, doesn't mean you can't stay connected. whatever you're thinking of doing this year...

... we'll help you find the perfect device to make it better. we'll set it up, get you streaming and even show you how to use it. which means you'll spend less time fiddling with it... ... and more time using it. vo: make summer better with great prices on the best devices. only at best buy. where life will take you. but when you're driving the new 2011 jeep compass, that gives you up to 29 mpg, you can take all the time you need to figure it out. ♪ the 2011 jeep compass. the evolution of a legendary bloodline. well-qualified lessees can get a 2011 jeep compass sport 4x2 for $239 a month.

ñç hey wendy! you should introduce your new berry almond chicken salad in my town berryville, virginia! great idea! we gave the whole town a summer picnic. strawberries are delicious. blueberries are nice and plump. that's because we only use berries picked at the peak of the season, and serve them just for summer. strawberries! blueberries! berryville loves it and you will too. our new berry almond chicken salad with all- natural fat-free raspberry vinaigrette. try it with a new wild berry tea. thanks wendy! ♪ you know when it's real.♪

>> jimmy: we are back. our guest tonight is one of the most colorful and unpredictable players in the nba, and by that i mean -- you know what i'm saying. he is always welcome here, with pants or without. from the los angeles lakers, please say hello to ron artest. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good to see you.

>> of course, glad to be here. >> jimmy: i'm still flying the team colors. >> give it up for the band. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how's it going? >> great. great. >> jimmy: hawhat have you been u what have you been up to since this season ended? oh, you've got a mets cap on there. i like that. >> yeah. new york, queens is in the building today. >> jimmy: oh yeah, well there you go. what have you been doing? have you been doing anything fun since the season's ended? >> yeah, i've been having a lot of fun. you know, running around -- i've got my artist, taz. she's doing well, and i've been rocking red carpets and -- >> jimmy: record company you've got going on? >> yeah. making music, and trying to get ready for next season, so. >> jimmy: i heard you're working on a couple of reality shows. >> yeah, yeah. we're working on a couple. we're working on -- the one show i'm working on is great -- it's going to give a couple parolees a chance at, you know, a second shot at life. [ laughter ] it's really cool. >> jimmy: he's not kidding. >> i'm really not kidding. i'm really not kidding. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ron, tell us what the idea of this show is.

>> well everybody knows i'm involved with a lot of mental health awareness -- >> jimmy: right. >> so you want the kids to see, you know, if they don't get on the right path, this is where they're going to end up, in jail, convict, different situations. >> jimmy: i see. >> so we're doing a show with parolees. they're going to be -- >> jimmy: they'll be dating in a house? [ laughter ] >> no, they won't be dating. some of them will still be locked up. >> jimmy: oh, they will? >> some of them might still be in, and some of them will probably be getting out, but you want to help rehabilitate. the rate of people going back into prison is very high when they get out. >> jimmy: because it's hard for them to get jobs when they get out. >> not to only get jobs, but to adjust to the whole environment, you know? so we want to help rehabilitate, you know, and help give them a second shot. i had a second shot, you know -- >> jimmy: that's right. >> so i want to help people get a second shot. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's right. i heard shaq talk to you about that -- shaquille o'neal, who just retired, he's a guy who called you and said, "hey, you need to talk to somebody." is that true? >> well, during the playoffs last year, i was -- needed some guidance, along with my psychologists. you know -- shaq also called me. >> jimmy: could you understand anything he said? was he mumbling to you?

>> he said, "hey ron, you know -- just stay with it, you're going to be a great player. bye, i gotta go." [ laughter ] that's what he said. >> jimmy: you know the new coach of the lakers was your coach with the pacers, right? >> mike brown, yes. >> jimmy: and so -- what do you think? >> when i played for him, he was great. i was very immature at that time, five years ago when i played under mike brown and rick carlisle. but you know, if i had listened to him a little bit more, you know, i think better things would have happened, but he's a great defensive mind. >> jimmy: well now you have a chance to listen to him all you want. >> yes. >> jimmy: so you're looking forward to that, i hope? >> i'm looking forward to it. i'm looking forward to a new season. i'm looking forward to trying to get back to the finals three times in a row like the lakers did previously, you know. >> jimmy: you want to do it three more times in a row. >> yeah, do it again. >> jimmy: that would be nice. [ cheers and applause ] when you have a situation like you had, where you lose to dallas -- who do you want -- do you root for dallas, do you root for the other team just because dallas beat you? do you not root for either of them, or how does it work? >> well you know, i'm definitely not a sore loser, so, you know,

they beat us fair and square. but mark cuban, he's a pain sometimes. >> jimmy: yeah. you find him annoying? >> but he's a friend. >> jimmy: he is? >> a painful friend. you know, but i'm happy that he has a shot -- but obviously, everybody kind of hates lebron. [ cheers and applause ] but he deserves a shot, he's doing well. wade is playing unbelievable right now. but the team that beat us, i kind of want to see them win. >> jimmy: yeah, i can understand that. >> they swept us man. come on. >> jimmy: i can understand that. >> i would want to see that. >> jimmy: i don't know if people -- people know about you. you do a lot of great things for charity. >> yes. >> jimmy: in fact, you auctioned off your ring -- your nba championship ring, and gave it to charity. how much did you raise with that auction? >> we raised $700,000 for mental health awareness. >> jimmy: that's fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] knowing that ron does a lot of work for charity and he's got such a good heart, we decided to take advantage of that good heart by asking him to shoot a public service announcement for an animal rescue organization. now you didn't know this had anything to do with us. >> you are a horrible man.

>> jimmy: yeah, i know. here's how that went. >> all right, everybody lock it down. quiet, please. we're going to start rolling. >> hey, hey -- hey. you ready? >> yep. and action. >> ok. hi, i'm ron artest with of the los angeles lakers. this is my friend, chiclet. hey chiclet. your generous donation helps care for chiclet, and thousands of others just like her. >> and cut. that was excellent. next we're going to bring in rocky. we'll just keep this going real quick -- we just have a couple more. >> wow. what the -- hold on. [ laughter ] >> i like all the ad libbing you're doing. >> hold on. >> she's nice. >> wait a second. what is that? >> she's a possum. >> she's not going to bite? i'm not gonna get bit? >> she's not a biter. >> wow. we're going to read this like i ain't never read nothing -- oh, [ bleep ] hold on, let me breathe. [ laughter ] wow, hold on, look at that. oh my goodness. [ laughter ] hold on. i just got to get warmed up first. >> you want to get warmed up? >> yeah. >> want to do another easy one

first? we'll do an easy one. let's just go with a fuzzy, cute little furry animal. >> whoa. >> she bites. will you sit down, please? it just makes it easier for her. >> where do ya'll get the heart to stand so close to that animal? i don't have that type of heart. >> maybe that's why you guys aren't in the playoffs right now. no heart. >> ah. >> let's go. >> all right, ready? action. >> what's up? i'm ron artest of the los angeles lakers. and this little lady here is ethel, a king vulture. >> oh -- [ laughter ] >> cut. >> you kidding me? oh, my goodness. >> hey, can you bring out jake? is jake next? >> get the [ bleep ] out of here. [ laughter ] wait one second. >> this is a very popular pet. >> that's a snake. oh, wow. >> i need you in the same shot as the snake, talking about critters united. >> i got to warm up --

i need like a shot of vodka or something. >> we can get that. can we get ron a shot of vodka? >> [ bleep ]. >> take a step closer to the couch. >> oh, wow. >> and another step closer to the couch. >> you look awesome right there. >> and one more step closer to the couch. >> can you turn your body that way? that's awesome. he's looking at me -- he knows i'm scared. >> okay. and action.>> hi, i'm ron artes >> hi, i'm ron artest of the los angeles lakers, here with jake the snake. >> cut. the snake is way out of focus, that's my only problem. it's so close, i can't even tell it's a snake. >> stand right there at the end of the couch. >> so if she gets right here? >> that's perfect. >> ok. >> what's up? i'm ron artest of the los angeles lakers, and there's jake the snake. jake is a five foot long albino python -- >> let's go with a cuter animal. let's just go with a fuzzy, cute little furry animal. >> whoa what the [ bleep ] is that? [ laughter ] >> she's sweet. >> oh, that's a porcupine mixed with wolverine. whoa.

she gotta watch the pointy things -- on her back, right? she can hit you anywhere she wants to hit you. i know. i've seen that b>> oh, she got m >> oh, she got me. >> oh, my goodness. she's got a porcupine stuck in her arm. ah, where's that vodka? [ laughter ] >> there -- while she's over there. quick, get on. >> all right, all right. >> get on the couch. >> you're forcing me. >> oh, i'm sorry, sir. i'm sorry. >> got to happen naturally. >> let it happen. let it happen. go. >> your donations save lives. right alex? hey alex, hey. oh, look at the little porcupine. it's so nice. >> ron, this is our last animal, so if we can just do this one -- then we can move on, and we'll get you out of here. >> oh my, gosh, you've got to be kidding. you son of a -- all right, he's not real. you're not real! ah! ah! i'm not afraid of bears. ah.

>> how's it going? >> going great. >> i'm cousin sal. >> oh, man. is this "jimmy kimmel?" >> this is "jimmy kimmel." >> watch your back, jimmy kimmel. ron ron is coming for you, and i'm bringing all my animal friends this time. >> jimmy: we'll be right back with ron artest. >> jimmy: we're back with i will send this to shelley. yeah. and i can have a proposal to you within half an hour. we're a small business. with 27 of us always in the field, we have to stay connected. we use verizon tablets, smartphones. we're more responsive. there are no delays. delays cost money. with verizon, we do things quicker and more effectively. more small businesses choose verizon wireless than any other wireless carrier because they know the small business with the best technology rules.

a... vo... ca.... do. staying on track never tasted so good. give it a try. [ female announcer ] a-vo-ca-do is a go at subway. savor the turkey & bacon avocado: tender turkey and crispy bacon with cool, creamy avocado. try avocado on any of your favorites for optimum deliciousness. subway. the official training restaurant of michael phelps... carl edwards... michael strahan... apolo ohno... and athletes everywhere. discover visine® tired eye relief with hydroblend™, only from visine®. just one drop nstantly soothes and revives tired, overworked eyes. and comforts them for p to ten hours. visine® tired eye relief. try now an save $3.

just got more powerful. introducing precise pain relieving heat patch. it blocks pain signals for deep relief precisely where you need it most. precise. only from the makers of tylenol. we even painted his room black and white stripes. and before you know it, zebrs were out. so i tried this paint that promised to do the job fast. but it didn't. yep. and that's why i came to lowe's. our hi-def color system frm valspar has an ultimate hidingformula. plus nobody beats our rices. nobody. now it's just the shade of green we wanted. which goes with his ew interest. dinosaurs? yep. [ male announcer ] experience. lowe's. let's build something together. choose 5% off every day when you use your loe's consumer credit card.

>> jimmy: we're back with ron artest. ron, you're a very good sport, ron. >> that was sick, man. >> jimmy: you're scared of animals. you're scared of porcupines, but no fear whatsoever of mike tyson, huh? >> i was actually -- i thought he was going to probably give me a body shot at that point. >> i love mike. >> jimmy: were you guys at a movie premiere or -- oh, "the hangover" -- >> "the hangover." >> jimmy: -- it looks like there. >> yes. he's in the movie. >> jimmy: yeah, i know he's in the movie. i saw it. yeah. is that something you'd be interested in doing? movies like that? >> well, hopefully one day. >> jimmy: i'd love to see you in a dr. dolittle type of situation. [ laughter ]

>> i want to be the bad guy, though. i want to be like the guy who fights against incredible hulk. >> jimmy: well, yeah. >> and punching him. >> jimmy: i know you brought some twitter followers with you. people who sent photos of themselves -- >> yes, yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: -- kissing their biceps. >> kissing their biceps. >> jimmy: you're doing that? you've been interacting with your twitter fans in that way? >> yeah. i mean, they support so much. so -- whoa! [ laughter ] [ bleep ] what's going on? get out of here. >> jimmy: thanks to ron. thanks to usher. we'll be back with a new show later tonight. our guest stars kathy griffen, j.j. abrams and music from friendly fire. thank you for watching. game five of the nba finals is next!