>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live game night!" tonight -- shaquille o'neal. dwyane wade. we play blackjack with everyone in the audience. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: here i am, i'm jimmy kimmel. welcome to my home. it's wonderful to have you tonight. game six of the nba finals between the dallas mavericks and the miami heat. and make no mistake about it, this one comes down to whichever team is better at getting the basketball into that round metal thing -- [ laughter ] -- the hoop. yeah. what a series. this has been one of the most exciting finals ever. every game is so close. and i'm talking oprah and gayle close. really, really close.

[ laughter ] i have not seen a finals series like this since the great cook versus archuleta battle of the davids back in 2008. [ laughter ] i don't -- remember that rap song by kurtis blow that goes, basketball is my favorite sport, i like the way they dribble up and down the court? it seems like a weird part of the game to like. [ laughter ] the dribbling, up and down the court, right? the series tonight returns to miami. charles barkley went on record to say, miami fans in his opinion are the worst fans in the league. he says they're not loud. which i think is odd for miami, considering how loud they are when they're sending their sandwiches back at the deli. [ laughter ] i said tuna on toast. [ laughter ] they will need to pick up the volume tonight. lebron james tried to get his team fired up. he gave what should have been an impassioned pregame speech, but something about it just seemed a little too scripted to me. >> let's continue to play desperate. that's the only way we know how to play basketball. that's the best way we know how to play. and this is a must win game.

every game we approach, our back is against the wall, and it's a must win game. lay it all on the line tonight, and play miami heat basketball, man. >> jimmy: you see it? you see what i mean? it's -- [ cheers and applause ] lebron has been in a fourth quarter slump. lebron james only has 11 points in the last five fourth quarters combined. some people are suggesting he doesn't want the ball. which, give the guy a break. he's spending a lot of time with the ball the first three quarters, maybe he just needs a little me time in the fourth quarter, you know? [ laughter ] or maybe he's saving his energy for the critical game eight. [ laughter ] lebron, he does need to step up tonight. and it's interesting when an athlete isn't doing well, they tell him to step up, but when a politician for instance texts his wiener to the world, they tell him to step down. [ laughter ] we need one direction for everyone to step. this is pretty good, this happened in dallas on thursday. watch the foul here. okay, referee bill kennedy calls a foul on mavericks forward shawn marion. let's zoom in on bill and look at how he called it in slow motion. here you go.

and -- [ cheers and applause ] i don't know what's going on. my dog used to do that sometimes. [ laughter ] dirk nowitzki has had an amazing series. dirk scored 29 points in game five, even though he was getting over the flu. you know, he caught the bird flu when a migrating goose inadvertently flew into his mouth. [ laughter ] dirk was feeling better for game five after he got some rest and drank an oil drum full of cough syrup. [ laughter ] now, he's really shown himself to be a leader for the mavericks, and not only on the floor. after game three he called out one of his teammates, jason terry. he said he needed to be more of a clutch player down the stretch, and it worked. although, historically it's still not always the best idea to follow orders from a german leader. just want to get that out. [ laughter ] by the way game six tonight is on at the same time as "the tony awards," which is a conflict for no one really. [ laughter ] my plan -- [ applause ] because i do want to see them

both. my plan is to watch the game live, and then watch the tonys later on tivo. i have a gay tivo that records what it wants. [ laughter ] hey, we're going to do. [ applause ] we have something exciting tonight involving our studio audience. we have -- in southern california, we have a vegas-style casino, and it's called the san manuel indian bingo and casino. it's about an hour away from us, a highland. aunt chippy is there, my aunt chippy, playing blackjack on behalf of our studio audience. now, three years ago, she won $100,000 for our studio audience and they got to split it up and take it home. but the last two years she lost everything and ruined the show completely. are you -- aunt chippy, do you plan to ruin the show completely again tonight? >> no, i'm going to win tonight. the studio audience is going home with money. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and -- all right. and who --

did you do your own hair tonight? what's going on with that? because it seems very, very big to us. >> you like my hair, or you don't like my hair? shut up about my hair. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: aunt chippy will be playing her first hand of blackjack when come back, so stick and for that. and then later, our parking lot security guard guillermo, with maybe his best work yet. guillermo went to orlando to visit shaquille o'neal. shaquille o'neal just retired. he posted -- shaquille posted this video from their visit on his twitter page. >> shaq is getting ready for the "jimmy kimmel show." here's guillermo. [ whack ] [ laughter ] >> wake up. >> jimmy: so, shaq meets guillermo later on. [ applause ] plus miami super star dwyane wade pranks his fans with some help from my cousin sal. it'll be good. it's "jimmy kimmel live game night." we'll be right back with blackjack, so stick around.

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hey baby, what's going on? [ ella ] happy anniversary! are we still on for tonight? yeah, of course. of course. [ laughs ] you remembered to make a reservation, right? yeah, i remembered that. the number one thing a man should remember. i'm gonna be there soon. i'm gonna come pick you up. and i'll, uh...i'll -- i'll -- i'll call you -- i'll call you when i'm on the way. i'm -- i'm on the way. ok? ok! [ male announcer ] only at&t's network lets your iphone talk and surf at the same time.

>> jimmy: hi there. welcome back to our game six "game night" special. tonight, dwyane wade of the miami heat, pairs up with my cousin sal to play a prank on one of his biggest fans at an autograph show. and then later, parking lot security guard guillermo goes into the weird and wonderful world of shaq, with a visit to the home of the newly retired giant. by the way, in the event of miami heat victory tonight, which may have already happened depending on you time zone, joins us in primetime again on tuesday night. i don't know who our guests are, we don't have them, but we will get some. [ laughter ] and join us for new shows next week at our regular time, in the middle of the night. let's go to my aunt chippy now at the san manuel indian bingo and casino. hello aunt chippy. [ cheers and applause ] my aunt chippy is going to attempt to win a lot of money for our studio audience by playing blackjack.

first introduce us to our pit boss and dealer, aunt chippy. >> okay, there is lovely kim -- >> hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: hi, kim. >> who has been with us before. and there is very handsome greg, who is watching over the whole game. and i hope they know how so count better than i do. >> jimmy: all right. kim and greg, you seem very nice, but we hope to cost you and your casino a lot of money tonight. all right? >> okay. >> jimmy: okay, very good. now the audience wins, if aunt chippy wins three hands in a row. if any hand is a push, we'll replay that hand. there is no doubling down, insurance or splitting, but a blackjack still pays one and a half times the bet. let's cut those cards and play some blackjack. how about it, aunt chippy? [ cheers and applause ] >> ready to go. >> jimmy: $10,000 right there in chips. >> here we go. >> jimmy: we're going to do this. she knows what she's doing. so, don't worry about it. you're in very good hands. >> all right. >> jimmy: all right. there are our chips. oh, and a nice way to start. [ cheers and applause ] with a king. next card is down, and we get -- oh, what a terrible way to

finish up, right? all right, it's not over though. and the dealer has a jack. right, well that's not good. um, obviously we have to hit there. right, aunt chippy? >> i have no -- yeah, we have no choice here. >> jimmy: yeah, we have to hit. >> [ bleep ] >> jimmy: give us a 6. give us a 6. >> let's go. let's see what happens. >> jimmy: we are on television, aunt chippy. oh, we'll take that. [ cheers and applause ] we'll take that. >> stay right there. >> jimmy: all right. let's see -- >> you better not have another color card. >> jimmy: let's see what they got. and so much for that. hey, can we get another $10,000? all right, aunt chippy. we're going to take another 10,000 out of your social security, okay? >> all right. >> jimmy: all right. >> there goes my social security. >> jimmy: all right. we'll come back. we'll try it again in a little. that's no way to start things, i tell you. [ applause ] and she was smoking, if she was allowed to smoke on tv, this never would have happened.

dwyane wade of the miami heat has had some big-name teammates. lebron james, chris bosh, shaquille o'neal at one time, but none of them has proven to be as competent and as lethal as my cousin sal. here is cousin sal and dwyane wade tormenting his fans at a phony autograph show we set up. ♪ >> how's it going? you been here a while? >> it's great, i have been here since 8:00. >> wow, you've been here a while, huh? >> yeah. >> what's wrong with you? >> it's my favorite player right here. >> no physically. physically, what's wrong with you? >> nothing's wrong. >> oh. >> what do you mean what's wrong with me? >> uh -- the first two hours, he's just signing for injured or people with sicknesses or long-term illnesses. honestly, he's not going to sign unless you have some kind of condition. and there's nothing wrong with you at all? like, we can't -- you don't have rickets or chin splints? >> i'm his biggest fan. >> all right, okay. i have something. because you've been here since

8:00 in the morning. here's the deal. like, he's got a big, big heart but he's also got temper and if you're screwing a big with him, he's going to know it. so, let's really set this up. but hold on one second. >> yeah. >> all right, here's what we're going to do. you were in a waterskiing accident and you just got out of the hospital. you were waterskiing, you blacked out and next thing you know, you woke up with a neck brace and two well-placed band-aids on your head, okay? all right, dwyane? we got another kid from the hospital. >> oh, man. >> this one got it bad. >> oh. how you doing, man? >> hey, d-wade. >> how you doing? >> pretty good. >> what happened? >> oh, i was waterskiing. i blacked out. >> when did this happen? >> just recently. >> and you're here today to get my autograph? >> you're my favorite player. >> where was you waterskiing? >> i can't remember where i was waterskiing.

>> oh, so you have, like, amnesia? >> yeah, he's got amnesia. >> yeah? >> yeah. >> when you have the waterskiing accident, who was driving the boat? >> um -- >> what's going on? >> you all right? you need something? you need help? you want to sit down? >> no, no, no. >> i'm thinking he might blackout, sal. >> oh, yeah, yeah, he's blacking out. >> sal, he's blacking out. >> all right. >> you want me to give you mouth to mouth? >> grab him, grab him. >> here, some lay on the -- >> no, no, no, i'm all right. >> what is it? >> no, lay him on the table, lay him in the table. >> no, no, no. >> medic! medic! >> dwyane, dwyane! >> so, i'm sorry -- >> i'm good. >> it's all right, all right. >> you were just in a horrible accident. you need some time. >> it's okay, buddy. >> dwyane, dwyane. >> what is it? what is it? >> you're my favorite player and i wanted to meet you so bad -- >> you're my favorite water-ski accident. >> no, no, no. >> go ahead. take your time. >> honestly, they told me they wouldn't let me meet you if i

didn't have an injury. >> who told you this? >> nobody told you this. >> and i wanted to meet you so bad that i was willing to do this. i mean -- >> so, you're faking this? >> i'm sorry. i mean -- i'm sorry, d. >> who told you this? >> who could -- who told you this? don't tell on me. >> sal, was it you? >> no, no, it was not me. what do you think? you think i have neck braces around to give to people? this is a stupid autograph signing session. he came in like this. like, "oh, i was in a water-ski accident. i want to meet dwyane wade." >> i'm so sorry. i -- >> don't talk. don't talk. >> okay, i'm sorry. >> yeah. >> just tell me who gave you that brace and i'll take care of it. tell me -- just tell me and i'll take care of it. >> go ahead, tell him. tell him. >> tell me the truth. >> yeah, go ahead, tell him. >> to be honest, man, you handed it to me. >> i'll kill you. i'll kill you! i'll kill you!

i did not give you that brace! you don't listen to him, dwyane. don't listen to him! >> sal, sal, sal. sal, sal. >> i'll kill him! >> sal. >> i didn't give anyone no brace! >> sal, if you're going to do it, grab the neck. he's hurt! >> i'll kill you dead! >> wait, what the -- no wonder it's been taking so long. you had me. oh, my gosh, dude. [ applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, we have fun. when we come back, more blackjack with aunt chippy and little guillermo pays a visit to big shaquille o'neal. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] blueshirt: hello america, it's summer. and a tablet is a great way to stay connected on the go. we'll help you pick out the right one, get you on-line, and show you how to use it. tan guy: abs. blueshirt: so you can spend your summer doing summer-y things...

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>> jimmy: aunt chippy, nervously anticipating our next bet. we're already down $10,000 at san manuel indian bingo and casino. this is security guard, guillermo, our parking lot security guard. [ cheers and applause ] last week, as you may have heard, shaquille o'neal

announced his retirement from basketball and when a major story like this breaks, we turn to the muchacho who always lands the big one. here he is, guillermo, one-on-one, with shaquille o'neal. [ applause ] >> shaquille o'neal, one of the greatest center in basketball history. he just retire. he invite me to his beautiful house, here in orlando, for exclusive interview, one and one, to find out what's next for shaquille o'neal. ♪ they call him shaq, the diesel, chuck auber, the big banana, the big shamrock. shaq-fu, andy yee, the big aristotle. the big daddy, superman, the big agave. the big cactus, the big --

>> okay, that's enough with the names. geez, they get it. >> so, what's next for shaquille? >> aren't you a little too close, guillermo? >> i just want to know what's next. >> okay, sit down. you're making me uncomfortable. sit down, man. ah! >> okay. >> you're making me uncomfortable. >> all right. you have a bigger breath. >> thank you. >> you're welcome. >> what's next? probably some movies and tv. i don't know, just -- right now, i'm just hanging out. >> what about cd? >> oh, the rap cd? no. >> no? >> no more rap. >> oh, thank god. >> are you trying to be funny, guillermo? >> no, no, no -- >> you trying to be funny? >> no, no -- >> oh, okay. >> i don't want no problem. >> all right, man. >> can i go to the kitchen and check out your fridge? >> you can have whatever you like. >> you want to do a cereal eating contest? >> a cereal eating contest? >> yes. >> you sure you want some of that? >> yes. >> i'm a cereal eating champ. frosted flakes -- that's what i do.

every morning. >> yeah? bring it on. are you ready? >> i'm going to kill you. >> you want to put money on that? >> if you beat me, i'll walk around my house in my underwear. >> if you beat me, i will walk around your house in your underwear pants. >> deal. >> deal? >> you got yourself a deal. >> wow. all right, let's go to the kitchen. >> do you feel like crying right now? >> do i feel like what? >> like crying? >> crying? >> yeah. >> i never cry, brother. >> no? >> come on. >> all right, let's go. >> no smack talk. >> uno, dos, tres -- go! ♪ >> i quit. you win. >> all right. >> i can't do this no more. i quit. >> i'll be over here, waiting for you. >> oh, my god, i quit. ♪

>> hey, you're here. >> smack it. smack it. smack it. booty on the lap, booty on the lap. booty on the lap. did you touch my ass? >> no, i want to put a dollar in there. ♪ >> dance. from the back. ♪ let me smack your ass. and jump. and jump. >> well, that's it for shaq house. bye! >> congratulations.

>> thank you. >> you're the cereal champ. this is my tie. >> all right. >> you're not getting it back. see you later, baby. >> go put on some pants. >> shut up. >> bye. he's a terrible dancer. ♪ >> jimmy: very nicely done. guillermo, everybody. we'll be right back with aunt chippy and audience blackjack. [ applause ] if you don't have an iphone, you don't have the largest selection of games on any phone. from your favorite classics, to the latest and greatest. and you don't have game center. where you can find your friends wherever they are. challenge them to a game

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at ally, you'll love our raise your rate cd that offers a one-time rate increase if our current rates go up. ally. do you love your bank ? >> jimmy: my aunt chippy at the san manuel indian casino. it celebrates their 25th anniversary with a $10,000 a day giveaway, july 1st through 25th. and on july 7th, adam corolla brings his show to san manuel so join them for that. my aunt chippy is playing blackjack on behalf of our studio audience right now. how are you holding up, aunt chippy? you all right? [ applause ] >> i'm barely holding up, jimmy. i need some help over here. some energy. >> jimmy: we're down 10 grand. >> i got the people in back of me. >> jimmy: all right. we want to win three hands in a row. let's do it. our first card -- is a king. and the house gets --

our next card is a 3. oh, boy. all right. and let's see what the casino gets. the casino gets a jack. the casino has a jack -- >> she's got 12. come on. >> jimmy: oh, we got to hit that. give us an 8. give us an 8! 14, give us a 7! >> 14. >> jimmy: should we waste another $10,000? all right, let's do it. [ cheers and applause ] >> do i go to jail for killing them? >> jimmy: aunt chippy, put up the money. let's do this. [ cheers and applause ] this irresponsible gambling. remember, don't try this at home. >> i don't know. let's go. >> jimmy: can we get free cocktails for everyone? >> come on. give me something good here. >> jimmy: all right, i'll take that jack. >> come on, kim. >> jimmy: and a 2. >> you're killing me. >> jimmy: i want to point out, this is not fixed. we're just horribly unlucky. all right. >> give me something decent here. >> jimmy: we needed that 9 too.

>> 9. >> jimmy: let's see what we got. give us a card. 15. give us a 6. >> come on, 6, 6, 6. it's a 6 upside down. it's an upside down 6. >> jimmy: yeah, seems to be a 9 either way we turn it. >> does that count? >> jimmy: well, what are you going to do? it's a room full of losers we got here. actually, you know what -- >> sorry. >> jimmy: we do have something special. dicky, what do we have for our studio audience tonight? >> dicky: everyone in the audience gets -- a potato. potatoes, low in cholesterol, high in fun. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: everyone is going to go home with a potato. that's all the time we have. i want to thank shaquille o'neal, dwyane wade, my aunt chippy and the san manuel indian bingo and casino. watch us at our regular time all this week, starting tomorrow night. and stay tuned for game six of the nba finals. good night!