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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  July 2, 2011 12:00am-1:05am PDT

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and working your way out of it and making things incredible. >> farewell, ro. thanks for watching abc news. have a great fourth of july weekend. >> dicky: up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: did you know that when a celebrity's water breaks, they have the option of evian or sparkling? >> chef gordon ramsay. >> what does cobra taste like? >> [ bleep ]. dicky: mike o'malley. >> hen the team you root for wins a championship, you accept the congratulations. >> dicky: and music from hanson. >> you're such a [ bleep
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>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. jb jk now has its very own app. here with all the details, guillermo. who apparently is not here. hold on a second. ♪ >> guillermo? >> hello, jimmy? >> jimmy: where are you? we're waiting for you to start the show. >> sorry. i'm too busy enjoying the "jimmy kimmel live" app to talk to you right now. good-bye. [ laughter ] ay yi yi. jimmy worries too much. doesn't he realize that whether i am here or here or even here the show is always with me on my
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ipad, iphone and ipod touch. thanks to jkl app. i can watch video from the show anywhere on the go. and i can read jimmy's hilarious personal tweets. [ laughter ] boy, that jimmy is a great guy. i wonder what he's doing now. ♪ jimmy, i tolyou i'm busy. good-bye. jimmy needs to get a life. [ laughter ] what a loser. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" app. available exclusively at the apple app store. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with chef gordon ramsay. mike o'malley. and music from hanson.
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tonight -- chef gordon ramsay. from "glee," mike o'malley. and music from hanson. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, from this moment on, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. hi, everyone, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for being here. and -- [ applause ] someone in the audience is very excited to be here tonight. this guy, he's here from houston and it looks like your head is just on the verge of exploding. welcome. they left their triplets home to
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be here tonight. and i want to say, i want to welcome everyone who has abandoned their family to be with us tonight. as you are hopefully aware, father's day is on sunday. i got my dad the same thing i get him every year. a gift certificate to black angus and a mouse pad made out of popsicle sticks. he loves things made out of upon si popsicle sticks. all dads do. one guy who, by the way, does not have a fun father's day plan for this weekend is new york congressman anthony weiner. he -- weiner's wife, who is pregnant, got home today from a trip to africa with hillary clinton, while he stayed home, clearing his web browsing history. you know, because his wife has been away, the congressman hasn't seen her in person since this tweeting scandal broke. so i think it's safe to assume she didn't buy him any duty free kahula from the airport. she did bring him something back from africa. news cameras were positioned outside the weiner home today when she arrived. now, you see, there's her car pulling up to the apartment. and as you'll see in a second here, she brought two masai
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warriors back with her to -- you know, just to chat and -- [ laughter ] talk about things. what do you think the first thing they said to each other was? hi, honey, how was your trip? no. in the least surprising twist in this saga thus far, gloria allred is now involved in this one. it isn't like gloria to try to profit by inserting herself into a media frenzy, but this time, she's making an exception. she's representing a woman named ginger lee, who is a former porn star, current stripper, who claims congressman weiner sent her inappropriate messages online. what part of being a porn star got text messages from anthony weiner requires a lawyer? i don't know. but allred said ginger wanted to hold a press conference today so she could come out of hiding, clear up rumors about her and resume her career as a feature dancer. in other words, can we please get past this so i can get naked for money again? thank you.
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but after congressman weiner accidentally tweetededhat picture of his crotch, he reportedly called ginger, who, for some insane reason, he was following on twitter, to coach her on how to deal with the media attention she was about to get. and at the press conference, gloria allred detataededhat private conversation, and in doing so, provided us with our unintentional joke of the day. >> ginger asked congressman weiner how to handle it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you'd think she'd know after the films. this kind of thing really makes me -- i think gloria lives in an apartment over the offices of tmz and when someone has something stupid to sue for she puts on her pantsuit and scampers downstairs like a kid on christmas morning. by the way, here's a tip to who is manufacturing pant suits in this country, i think you need new spokeswomen. hillary clinton and gloria allred may not be the best model if your product. maybe get blake lively to try to
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turn things around, you know? anyway, even though these press conferences normally drive me up the wall, i was delighted for this one, in particular, because we got to hear her say a lot of very funny words, which we have taken a liberty to put it to music. >> weiner. weiner. >> package. >> weiner. >> package. >> weiner. weiner. weiner. weiner. weiner. >> package. >> weiner. weiner. weiner. >> package. >> package. >> jimmy: there you go. that's -- i've got a new ringtone. [ applause ] we haven't heard much from congressman weiner himself. we've seen a lot of him but we heard almost nothing. he's on a leave of absence from congress to get some kind of treatment, which -- i have to wonder what kind of a facility do you go to for whatever his problem is? >> do you use internet pornography, engage in online sex chats, tweet pictures of your naked body to strange women? well, help is here.
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>> hot dogs. they're as american as baseball and apple pie. but what makes a hot dog more than just a hot dog? introducing the happy hot dog man. it brings ordinary hot dogs to life, making lunchtime more fun. just put your hot dog into the happy hot dog man and close the lid. the happy hot dog man makes an imprnt on your hot dog. now, you're ready to cook it into a figure that can be decorated and eaten. >> it's like a toy you can eat. >> make your dinner a wiener. the happy hot dog man. >> jimmy: you understand, it's like a toy you can eat! right? they'll be hearing from gloria allred, no doubt. in happier news, natalie portman has given birth to a baby boy. supposedly. her body double is claiming that she actually did most of the labor, so -- you know, her first son was luke skywalker, so -- this new one has a lot to live up to. here's an interesting fact. did you know that when a celebrity's water breaks, they have the option of evian or
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sparkling pellegrino. there's been no announcement yet on the baby's name. she's a vegan actress and her fiance is a french choreographer. let's assume it's going to be pretentious. i'm going to guess zimbabwe. no idea why. just a hunch. childbirth is one of the most magical things a human being can experience in his or her life. it's a beautiful moment to stare into someone's eyes knowing together you created a human life. unless, of course, you're a teenager, who knocked up his girlfriend and the delivery is being broadcast on mtv. this is from the show "16 and pregnant" last night. and keep an eye on the father's face. >> take a breath. do it again. you can do it. take deep breaths. >> wow. >> push right through it. her head's almost out. that's it. atta girl. you got it, honey. you got it. >> jimmy: should not have gotten high for this. [ applause ]
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they named the kid whoa. some sad news from the playboy mansion yesterday. the wedding, scheduled for this weekend, between 85-year-old hugh hefner and his 25-year-old fiance has been called off. i guess hef didn't want to be tied down with one woman for the rest of his weeks. and said -- [ laughter ] apparently she called it off. hefner tweeted that, he said she had a change of heart after he had a change of diapers and now they are no longer together. his playmate to be was a woman named crystal harris. u're not going to believe this. she's a singer and her first single came out yesterday, on the very day she called off the wedding. what an amazing coincidence. [ laughter ] but regardless, my condolences to hef. he's 85. if he wants to have kids, he better get on the stick. one wedding not called off is the wedding between kim kardashian and her fiance kris
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hum flips of the new jersey nets. their wedding registry, their gift list, leaked online yesterday. because kim and kris are millionaires they have asked that instead of gifts, the guests donate to local charities. just kidding. they want a $1,600 silver-plated coffee pot. they really do. they registered at an upscale jewelry and hoewares store in beverly hills that sells expensive items. they asked for $3,000 worth of ampagne flutes and more than $38,000 worth ofinner plates. so -- in your face, poor people! [ laughter ] but -- with that said -- [ applause ] only the best for the tenth man on the new jersey nets. kim's wedding might single handedly pull us out of this recession. not everything is ridiculous, though. there is a napkin that costs $12.50 that you can buy her. can you imagine a $12 napkin. don't wipe your mouth on it. it cost $12! if you want to get them a gift,
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they are registered at big butt and beyond. it's all right there. [ laughter ] this is pretty good. this is -- from australia's version of the "today" show. that interviewed the dalai lama, who was in melbourne over the weekend. and i guess the anchor wanted to lighten the mood with a joke. but he forgot that a key element to any successful joke is making sure the person you're telling it to has some understanding of what the hell you're talking about. >> the dalai lama walks into a pizza shop -- >> pizza shop. >> yeah. and says, can you make me one with everything? >> yes. >> do you know what i mean? can you make me one with everything? >> oh. >> i knew that wouldn't work. >> jimmy: do the one about the
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two rabbis in the bar. lamas are known for their endurance in t mountains, not necessarily their senses of humor. and one more thing. some big news from dc comics. dc comics is relaunching the superman comic in september and when they do, the man of steel will have an all-new look. this is the new superman costume on the right. he still has the blue suit and the red cape but his belt is changing from yellow to red and his underpants are now under his pants. between superman and anthony weiner, that look is popular. and not only is he wearing his speedos inside now, he's wearing uggs instead of regular boots. it's a little disturbing. these heroes, you grow up with them, they suddenly change. it's weird. we don't update santa every ten years. he's santa. he looks how he looks. i kind of feel like superman should be the same way. but i'm not an expert, so, we went out on hollywood boulevard
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today to speak to some people who are experts on that subject. and here now is what the costume characters of hollywood boulevard who live outside our building had to say about superman's new look. >> um -- i don't like the fact that they have given him a red belt and taken out his shorts and i don't like that they changed the boots. >> other super heroes probably like it better. because he's been around for, like, 50 years, and underwear is probably, like, stinky and just not good for super fighting against criminals. >> pants are very important to me, it's part of my name and i take it very seriously. it's profane. >> at least show the right thing, i mean, come on, he's superman for crying out loud. he looks like a ken doll. >> american way and my balls.
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>> jimmy: i don't -- i don't know. not the real spider-man, kids. it's a fake. we have a good show for you tonight. from "glee," mike o'malley is here. we have music tonight from hanson. and we'll be right back with chef gordon ramsay, so stick around. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ punching, grunting ]
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>> jimmy: hi there. welcome back to the show. tonight, a very funny guy who you may know from the show "glee," from the show "parenthood" and many other parts of o world. mike o'malley is with us. then, with music from this, their latest album, called "shout it out," hanson from the bud light outdoor stage. tell you something about hanson. none of them got ugly. you know, a lot of times these
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boy bands morph into monsters. as they get older. not the hansons. they're as adorable as ever. tomorrow night, 'll be joined by cedric the entertainer. we'll be joined by futurist and inventor ray kurzweil. this guy is very interesting. he talks a lot about the day, which according to him, is not very far off, when humans and computers become one, the singularity. like the terminator, but real. his name is ray kurzweil and he'll be here. and we'll also have music from a band called breathe carolina. so join us tomorrow night for that. our first guest tonight is the most cantankerous man ever to wield a whisk. he's an award-winning chef and less ran restaurateur. the second season of "masterchef" airs mondays and tuesdays on fox, please say hello to gordon ramsay. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm very well, thank you. good to see you. >> jimmy: good to see you, too. >> glad to be back, thank you.
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>> jimmy: i'm a little bit worried about you. you seem very calm on this new show. is everything okay? >> jim, honestly, the food is delicious. >> jimmy: the food's delicious, and that's why? >> and no pepto bismol in sight anywhere, so -- >> jimmy: that's nice. you're not on any kind of medication we should know about? >> no. >> jimmy: dr. phil didn't t get ahold of you? >> seriously, i mean, the level of amateur cooks in this country is extraordinary. so, i'm a little bit more relaxed. i have two fellow judges. i have to say -- you guys can cook at home. well done. good job. really good job. >> jimmy: you feel like you have less of an expxptation of these people because they're amateurs, you're a little less -- you're not as hard on them because of that? >> from all walks of life, from surgeons, they have a day job and this is one lady who actually thinks that cooking is a way of relaxing and sort of becoming less stressful. so -- >> jimmy: is that right? what an insane thought. >> so, i -- i have to be honest with you. the food this year, actually,
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season two, really surprised us. >> jimmy: it's a great idea for the show. everybody who cooks thinks they are good and thinks they can cook and everybody thinks their mom is a really good cook and sure, you get to kind of judge whether they are a good cook or not. >> yeah. >> jimmy: potentially destroy them. >> honestly be amazed how they grow in confidence. i think also the climate has changed. they haven't got as much money to spend out as they've had, so, they're spending more time in the kitchen, which has been really interesting. >> jimmy: i always find that it is much more expensive to cook myself than to go to a restaurant. like, i go to the farmer's market and somehow this lasagna cost $8,000. is that -- you find that that's the case? >> are you drinking a glass of wine as you cook, as well? >> jimmy: i gesz guess so, maybe. that's a little cheaper, if you buy it at home. but your mom, speaking of moms, is going to be on the show. >> yeah. in fact, all the judges moms are appearing, which is a nightmare, when your mom is there. >> jimmy: is it? >> you feel like -- >> jimmy: did you learn the yelling from her?
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>> she's scottish and she certainly knows how to curse. but mom's an amazing cook. >> jimmy: she is? >> and she used to work in a restaurant. anything that wasn't sold in the restaurant, she brought home from sort of stews, salads, you name it and we ate it. >> jimmy: and she would do the cooking for you at home after she cooked all day for people. and that's, i assume, what inspired you to bebeme a chef yourself? >> she's an amazing -- >> jimmy: she must be proud of you. >> but it's a pain when she comes to the restaurant. >> jimmy: why? >> well, because there, of course, lamb, we know, lamb tastes delicious when it's pink. mom wants it well done, like, cooked for four hours, too. >> jimmy: my parents do that, too. it makes me crazy. >> horrible. sort of eating gandhi's flip-flop. it's just, horribly dry and -- it can be anything. it can be pork, beef, lamb. >> jimmy: for me, beef. they want it overcooked. they want it well done and when i say, no, no, this is a good piece of meat. this is not the garbage that you
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bought when we were growing up. this is a very good, you must eat it, you have to try it. they pretend they like it like that, but they don't. they want it ruined. >> you say, mom, let me give you meat with juice in there. let me show you something that is sort of tender. she said, i promise you now, if you serve me anything with blood in it, i'll slap you. >> jimmy: you don't want to get slapped by mom. how about your kids? how is the family? >> very well, thank you. we've got megan, she just turned 13. >> jimmy: your daughter just turned 13. >> yeah, i'm [ bleep ] myself. >> jimmy: are youeally? >> i am. >> jimmy: not as much as any boy that comes to date her. >> good [ bleep ] luck. [ applause ] >> jimmy: how do you handle that? >> you know what, i said, what would you like? she said, i would love an iphone. why? all my friends got one. so, we got her one. literally two days ago, i'm on the phone to her, check to see if she's okay. now, i said, where are you?
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she said, i'm on my way home. i said, no, you're sitting in starbucks, according to my computer. i've got it bugged. so i can trace her. she said, dad, you're stalking me? i said, get your ass home now. >> jimmy: you screwed up. you shouldn't have told her that. because now she's going to hand the phone to one of her nerd friends when she wants to go do something bad and you'll think she's at jenny's house and she'll be off doing god knows what. you're going to have to probably erase her memory. i don't know if you can do that. >> basically i'm [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: you are. >> i'm screwed. >> jimmy: as long as it's just you. it will be okay. >> [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: it will be bleeped. nobody will know what we said. >> exactly. exactly. >> jimmy: you have another show in the uk, what is thahashow over there? >> that's called "great escape." where you sort of go off into extreme countries and discover the most amazing food. >> jimmy: what do you mean extreme country? what is an extreme country? >> well, i mean, like, into the
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mountains of cambodia, the jungle of vietnam. >> jimmy: and eat the local delicacies? >> yeah, like cobra and sort of -- yeah. that's how they sort of survive. so, it's nice to go back to the roots and have a taste of what they got used to. >> jimmy: cobra. what does that taste like? >> [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no good? >> like an overcooked chicken. chicken my mom used to cook. >> jimmy: oh, really. and how do you prepare a cobra? >> it's a tradition there. they bring the thing out, the snake dances, you feel a little bit sick. but it's almost a bit of a show-off way of wasting a cobra, to be honest. anyway, they serve the heart first. they slit the throat and give you the heart -- >> jimmy: how big is the heart of a cobra? >> almost like, sort of, like the center of an oyster. so, it was still beating in my mouth. >> jimmy: really? that's no good. that's not -- >> room full of vegetarians. >> jimmy: your mom would not enjoy that, that's for sure. >> no.
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it was warm, like a live oyster that was hot, that was -- excuse me >> jimmy: when you go, do you have to pretend you like that? >> you know what, i was with the locals. i was off the beaten track. nothing to do with tourists. i was like, having a sort of swell time and they were saying, go on, once you've eaten the heart, we're going to give you the sack of bile. i said, wow, really? i can't wait to eat your sack of [ bleep ]. so, you take the heart, you swallow the heart and then out comes this little green sack of bile. that, i couldn't do. >> jimmy: you didn't do that? >> no. then there's the skin. >> jimmy: because there's a chance that when you get there, they're screwing with you, and they never eat the heart and the sack of bile. they're like, let's see what we can get this guy to eat. >> i got nervous because the waiter came up, three fingers missing, i said, [ bleep ], have we been drinking too much? what happened? he got bit last week by two cobras. >> jimmy: two cobras -- >> two fingers, off.
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>> jimmy: they ate his fingers off? we're going to take a quick break here. we'll come back. chef gordon ramsay is with us. "masterchef" airs mondays and tuesdays on fox. we'll be right back. kick start your training routine with... a... vo... ca... do. staying on track never tasted so good. give it a try. [ female announcer ] a-vo-ca-do is a go at subway. savor the turkey & bacon avocado: tender turkey and crispy bacon with cool, creamy avocado. try avocado on any of your favorites for optimum deliciousness. subway. the official training restaurant of michael phelps... carl edwards... michael strahan... apolo ohno... and athletes everywhere. [ male announcer ] every day thousands of people here's one story. my name is tanya and i am from chicago.
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this is america's most popular ingredient. and we want to see what you can do with it. and it just [ bleep ] over my [ bleep ] feet. you dirty little bastard. and i guarantee now you're going to be on youtube over the next ten years you little [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: i would have done the same thing if you were going to eat me. chef gordon ramsay is here with us. mike o'malley and hanson on the way. chicken is the number one ingredient in america. i did not realize it. >> i cannot believe it [ bleep ] on my feet. i have size 15 feet. so, they are right first before i do. >> jimmy: really, size 15 feet? >> can you believe, we had a chicken? only you guys would have a chicken that actually sort of comes out on cue. >> jimmy: we have talented chickens here in the united states. when you travel around the
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united states, what do you think about american food? are there things that drive you crazy, things that you particularly love? focus on the drive you crazy. >> sure. are we live? >> jimmy: yeah. okay. >> you know what, breakfast astounds me. you have a three-coursrse breakfast. and you start off with pancakes that are up here and then they are caked in syrup and spray cream and that stuff should be banned. >> jimmy: why? >> the [ bleep ] that goes into those cans -- >> jimmy: oh. yeah, like, the redi-whip -- >> i wouldn't decorate my christmas tree with that crap. and then you go for the next course, omelet. and then on the side, there's a fruit salad. and then you finish with a shake -- >> jimmy: you forgot the bacon. >> it scares me how big the breakfasts are. >> jimmy: it's not like that in england? >> mom and dad used to make cheese and toast. two slices of bread, little bit of cheese, hall, pickle. here, the sandwiches here are like six inches tall and it's stuffed with turkey and hall ai-
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>> jimmy: that's why we're the fattest nation in the world! number one! >> it can be smaller. >> jimmy: that's why guillermo moved here, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's right. so, you think we eat too much. i have to say, i was cooking from your cook book and i thought, what human being eats this little food, i mean, these portions. serves eight. i'm like, this serves one me, eight regular people, maybe. >> honestly, mom taught me less is more. so -- >> jimmy: she did, yeah. >> i'm -- chefs really don't eat that well. i don't think chefs should be fat. i was a fat chef once. i decided to do something about it. we graze, like, three, four times a day. >> jimmy: that's probably the best way to eat. >> small portions. four, five times a day. >> jimmy: you were in the news. your friend victoria beckham, you had lunch with her -- >> supper. little dinner. >> jimmy: i didndn't know she a ever at all. so, this right off the bat, this is shocking to me. >> she eats like a horse. >> jimmy: she does? >> yes. >> jimmy: what kind oaf a horse? a very skinny horse. one of those carousel horses?
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>> you're such a [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: i mean, she's very thin. >> honestly. she eats, honestly, she eats incredibly well. if you had to eat now with no olive oil, no cream, no dairy, you'd be as thin as me -- >> jimmy: yeah, right. no, i'd be dead is what i would be. but okay, so -- you were at lunch or dinner, rather, with her, and what happened, exactly? tell us the story. >> david was there and we sat down and she fancied a smoked trout salad. the restaurant was amazing, by the way, cool place. the waiter said, of course, we can get that for you. dad said, would you mind, no dressing. no dressing, just plain. waiter comes back, sorry. we can't do that. it's easier to send the salad with no dressing. and she's going to give birth any day now. i didn't think it was a problem asking for a salad to be served
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natural. there's no big hassle. making life easier for them. i didn't understand why the arrogance. >> jimmy: so what did you do? you destroyed the place? >> no, no, no. i just, we sat there in shock. i said, please read the menu carefully, no sutitutions. we're not asking for the garnish from the short ribs to go with the sea bass. we want one [ bleep ] salad, no dressing. >> jimmy: you went back and had a chat with them? >> no, i went in the kitchen, did it my [ bleep ] self. >> jimmy: you did, really? that sounds like the worst decision a waiter could ever make. >> i would just, you know -- >> jimmy: doing that with you at the table. >> you have to have flexibility. customers are king. >> jimmy: i guess. but a lot -- a lot of restaurants will say that. i'm glad to hear you say that. sometimes people -- sometimes it's very annoying when people want something weird, like, i, ketchup on a hot dog bothers me, for instance. >> that's gross. that's an insult. >> jimmy: exactly. mustard goes on the hot dog and relish. but not ketchup. i know this will inspire the most, the biggest outpouring of rage we've ever experienced on
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the show. but you don't mind that. you will let people substitute things if they want to? >> yeah, well, they're paying the check. so, david said, you know, it's not a complication to serve a salad with no dressing. it's just, you know, through this pregnancy it's something, we don't want dressing on the salad. no big deal. >> jimmy: i don't know what's happened to you. you are a totally different man. i think -- i don't know if you found zen or something like that, but -- >> i started yoga. >> jimmy: the show is called "masterchef." it airs mondays and tuesdays on fox. chef gordon ramsay, everybody. we'll be right back with mike o'malley. stick around. ♪ i may be mud, but i have standards. mops? please. some of them have bacteria.
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[ laughter ] ♪ [ female announcer ] when you give your kids frosted strawberry pop-tarts baked with real fruit, they'll rise and you'll shine. pop-tarts. made for fun. [ male announcer ] you don't makeby pressing a button.cken. it takes a cook. we're kfc and we've got a certified cook in every restaurant freshly making the colonel's original recipe, today and every day.
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11 herbs and spices, hand-breaded, hands down the world's best chicken. today is a kfc day. so bring home a real meal -- 10 pieces of that famous chicken, 3 large sides and 6 biscuits. enough real food to feed a family of four or more, just 20 bucks. today tastes so good. >> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. hanson is still to come.
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our next guest is a funny man, who plays kurt's dad burt on the very popular show "glee." please say hello to mike o'malley. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, these guys don't know because they're sitting here, but e bruins just won the stanley cup up in vancouver. congratulations. >> you know -- this is what's great about being a sports fan, when your team that you root for wins a championship is you accept congratulations for something you had nothing to do with achieving. wouldn't it be great in life if, you know, everything that you were a big fan of, if, you know, people like heard the new u2 album, because you're a fan, they're like, heard the album, congratulations. you're l le, thank you, man. anything. i saw "mad men" last night, great episode. thank you. >> jimmy: when you're a father,
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all you're ocontributed to havig a baby that you get congratulated for frequently is, you just had sex. >> right, exactly. just another good night of sex. but people are congratulating me at my age that my wife still wants to have sex with me. >> jimmy: well, that is good. that's a positive. >> it is good. >> jimmy: is your family excited? >> my family is very excited. i just called my sons. they're 6 and 4. i told them when i got home we would pour water on each other's heads. i'm going to drink the champagne. i don't want to, you know -- i tried to pour champagne on my kids eyes one time. it didn't go so well. >> jimmy: it's not good. >> i got to tell you, jimmy. really great to be here. i often felt like i am living your life because on more than one occasion, people have come up to me and say, hey, jimmy kimmel, love your show. and they say it to me. they mistake -- >> jimmy: i've had that happen to me about you. >> i look a lot older than you now. you're very handsome man, but back about eight, nine years ago, in particular, when i was on a show called "yes dear" and i think part of it was that i
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played a character named jimmy and -- but -- i was in las vegas, and this guy was like, hey, man, i love your show, i was like, thank you. i love it when the girls jump on the trampoline at the end. and i'm like, oh, they think i'm jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: when i d football on fox, i would wear a jersey and a cap. and you are -- almost every time i see you, you are wearing a jersey and a cap. >> right. well, i don't have beautiful hair like you anymore. >> jimmy: when you have hair like this, you have to show it off. >> you have to. it's beautiful. it's fantastic. >> jimmy: like fabio. look what happened to him. >> you're a male model. but one time it was really funny because i was at fenway park and that's -- i ow a lot of people back there. and this guy was so enthusiastic. he's like, please, sign my program. i was like, sure. and while i started to sign, he called over his friend, he's like, dude, look, it's jimmy kimmel. so, i signed jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: oh, good. you didndn do anything weird, right? >> i didn't want to disappoint him. because then, it's like, i'm not jimmy kimmel, my name is mike,
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i'm on -- and then, what show are you on? i say, i was on this show and, i haven't seen that, sorry, and then they apologize to you. >> jimmy: if it makes you feel any better, the last time i was in boston, this woman was drunk at like 11:00 in the morning. she said she wanted to cook for me and was pulling on my clothes and it was getting uncomfortable. at a certain point, i said, hold on a second, do you think i'm emeril? >> did she? >> jimmy: she did. and i said bam and i got out of there. >> that's right. >> jimmy: there you go. >> great to be here. >> jimmy: the circle of life. >> exactly. >> jimmy: you coach your children's teams, right? >>eah. it's -- it's been pretty great, you know, because i get to be with my kids. i'm working a lot, i travel a lot. but i'm able to be with my kids and coach baseball and soccer and basketball. >> jimmy: three sports? wow, that's a lot. >> yeah, three different sports. well, soccer is easy. kick the ball, run. it's not really -- basketball gets a little bit more difficult. one of the things that's hard that you don't think about when you do it is, you're going to be
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teaching other people's kids. and you think, i'm going to have this time with my kids. but we had a practice -- we actually had a gam last year, one kid, and this is in l.a. a kid showed up in crocs. he's like -- he's playing a game in crocs, which are really known for their ankle support. by the way. >> jimmy: he's playing basketball in crocs? >> yeah. and then, you know, when i coach baseball, one girl showed up in a tutu one time and, you know, but everyone is out here, very embracing and supportive and whatever you want to do -- >> jimmy: are you good with the parents? when i coach i had -- i was fine with the kids but i didn't like the parents. >> some of the parents get a little bit overenthusiastic. and, you know, they'll come and they'll be on their blackberry of their iphone, be reading a script and when their kid gets up, keep an eye on the ball, and, you know, the ball's on a tee. how hard is that? i got that covered. but thanks, you know. i'd appreciate if you could take one of them to the bathroom. that's the thing. you are always panicked.
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when we were kids, we were 6 years old, we didn't play organized sports. it wasn't until you were 9, 10, that you could do stuff. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and now days kids are playing 4, 5, 6 years old. you constantly have to ask them if they have to go to the bathroom. and i'm looking forward to the time where i don't have to do that. >> jimmy: that would be nice. i never really thought about that. when we were kids, you didn't play so young. you didn't start until 8 or so. >> and my parents didn't want me playing sports. because then they had to drive me to practice. >> jimmy: they didn't? >> i didn't play hockey. i love hockey. i didn't play it growing up. because if, you know, if you wanted to play that, unless you had a pond in your backyard, you had to get driven to practice at, like, 5:30 in the morning, and my parents didn't want to do that. they wanted me to play sports that had no equipment and they didn't have to drive me anywhere. >> jimmy: like what? >> they encouraged me to be a marathon runner when i was young. you know? [ laughter ] seriously. go out an run. let us know when you're back. >> jimmy: like a kenyan. >> exactly.
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they didn't even have to buy me sna sneakers. >> jimmy: how did you wind up on "glee?" >> i had done a pilot for a new series with ryan murphy that he directed for fx that was called "pretty handsome," a show about transsexuals. naturally, they came to me. [ laughter ] and i had a great experience. they didn't get picked up. and then when "glee" came around, ryan called me up, since i worked with him before, he said, do you want to play this part? it was interesting for me. because, it was a part where, when i was first reading the script, i thought he was going to be the kind of father who was very stair owe typically ignorant and not very accepting of his gay son. >> jimmy: your character is a dad of a gay son. >> yeah. but at the end of the script, when my son comes out to me, i'm like, i've known since you were 3. all you wanted for your third birthday was a pair of sensible shoes. so that's their joke. and he's sort of showing him that he's noun for a long time and he didn't want to impose his own -- his idea of what his son
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identity was on him. he was waiting for him to come out on his own. and it's been great. it's been great. >> jimmy: will you sing on the show? i don't believe young sung on "glee." >> i don't think anyone's asking me to sing on "glee." >> jimmy: why not? you should get to sing. what would you sing? >> i was thinking about this. maybe "endless love" from -- >> jimmy: that would be nice. who would do the tdiana ross part? >> whoever wants to. lea michele, i guess. >> jimmymybe a good time for a guest starlet to come on. maybe diana ross herself. >> would didn't they be wonderful? >> jimmy: that would be quite a pairing. great to see you. congratulations on your bruins win. mike o'malley. watch him on "glee." we'll be right back with hanson. my busy family, the family with thousands of odors.
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and dipped in creamy peanut butter... ♪ ...making your craving for a sweet & salty bar... ♪ ..rresistible. by nature valley. ♪ >> jimmy: this is their latest album, it's called "shout it out." here with the song, "give a little," with some help from the cletones -- hanson! ♪ ♪ when she walked in with her painted lips did she tease you for your flirty quips ♪
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♪ did she leave you frozen with the wrong words chosen you gotta show her why she can't resist ♪ ♪ make her blush when you put your hand on her hips she's gonna keep on playing until you stop chasing ♪ ♪ so wrap your arms around her body tell her all she needs to know ♪ ♪ give a little heart and soul let your body lose control give a little oh oh oh ♪ ♪ give a little just wrap your arms around give a little you gotta show her ♪
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♪ when she can't decide you gotta hold her with that look in your eyes when you move in close ♪ ♪ take your time leave an empty shoulder let her mo in closer ♪ ♪ and wrap your arms around her body tell her all she needs to know ♪ ♪ give a little heart and soul let your body lose control give a little oh oh oh ♪ ♪ give a little wrap your arms around and give a little come on ♪ ♪ wrap your arms around her you

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