abcnews.com. have a great evening. >> dicky: tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- julie bowen. >> no, no. i swear to god, that was you. >> jimmy: how dare you? you can always tell simon cowell is coming back to tv when there's a shortage of black t-shirts at babies are us. >> dicky: elisha cuthbert. and music from pitbull. >> stop

>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- julie bowen. from "happy endings," elisha cuthbert. and music from pitbull. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, ready or not, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, that's very nice. thank you, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for coming. thanks for watching. i had a feeling this would happen, and again, it did.

it was a big night for the fox network tonight. with the premiere, you heard about simon cowell's new show "the x factor." you can always tell simon cowell is coming back to tv when there's a shortage of black t-shirts at babies "r" us. i watched some of the show tonight and i tell you, i think it's high time america had its own televised singing competition. we needed it. i guess we can't get enough of this stuff. we have "american idol," which rarely produces an actual music star and we watch that. we have "the bachelor" and "the bachelorette" which rarely results in a relationship of any kind. "america's next top model" which has found no top models. the only reality show that lives up to its billing is "keeping up with the kardashians," because at least we actually do keep up with the kardashians. on "the x factor," "american idol," "the voice," all of it, you would think all of these shows, basically what they are is a very long and expensive way

to get one person a job, which -- that is not going to help obama at all. [ laughter ] by the way, in far more important tv news, our show is now on an hour earlier in chicago, half hour earlier in chicago. in dallas. we moved up to 11:00 p.m. in both of those cities. previously they had us on after oprah in chicago, but then she got fired. [ laughter ] and in dallas, i think we're on after a rerun of "studs" or something. but now we're on at 11:00 and we couldn't be happier. so, tonight, to celebrate that, we found one viewer in chicago, in the chicago area and one in the dallas area to go head-to-head from their homes in the skype scavenger hunt. let's meet our contestants. from dallas, first of all, we have a gentleman named chris, he's married with a baby on the way. he's the self-proclaimed -- [ applause ] chris, hello. chris, why do you call yourself the world's smallest samoan? >> i mean, if you see my nieces,

they're like 200 pounds and they're 10. >> jimmy: really? they must be delighted to hear that on tv. [ laughter ] and from chicago, she's a mother of two and a die hard oprah fan, crystal wiley brown. what do you mean, an oprah fan? crystal -- the whole point of why we're doing this is because oprah is now gone! >> well, it's good, you're now out of step-child status in chicago, so that's a good thing. >> jimmy: thank you. did oprah ever put you on her show? >> i did a makeover like ten years ago. i got an outfit. yeah, so -- >> jimmy: she made you come to her. she didn't come to you, did she? >> that's true. >> jimmy: thank you. are you both ready to play? >> yep. >> ready. >> jimmy: this is a scavenger hunt. you have to find something. i'm going to name an item. your job is to find that and bring it back to us, okay? >> okay. >> jimmy: let's begin. $100 to whomever comes back with a cd or dvd that you are embarrassed to own. most embarrassing one wins, all right?

>> oh, lord. >> jimmy: cd or dvd you are embarrassed to own. most embarrassing wins. any season of "reba" would qualify. i will judge which one is most embarrassing. and -- okay, there they are. all right, chris, what do you have there? >> "8 mile." >> jimmy: crystal, what do you have? >> "kurupt." whatever that is. my son owns it and i'm barsed to have it in my house. >> jimmy: i liked "8 mile" and i know -- well, you know what? neither of you get $100 for that one. i'm sorry. all right. let's try another one. $200 to whomever comes back first with a picture of a famous person taped to your face. all right? find a picture of a famous person. tape it to your face. and we will evaluate that face.

he's going to the tape room. the tape is probably the tricky thing to find here because you can never really find tape. what does chris have here? oh, look at that. chris has got a dallas cowboy, i can't see because of the glare. who is that, chris? >> that's d-ware. >> jimmy: all right. and there -- well -- chris, you definitely win this one. [ applause ] crystal -- how dare you. oprah's not even famous anymore, crystal. all right, we're going to come back for round two in a couple of minutes. don't move. don't go to the bathroom or anything, all right? >> okay. >> jimmy: if you have to go, do it right where you are. [ laughter ] all right, very good. president obama has been in new york for the past couple of days speaking at the united nations. the speeches -- i think they're great at the united nations, because they make the countries sit in alphabetical

order. that means, like, poor ireland is stuck between iraq and israel. which is not -- even better, jamaica sits next to japan. obama addressed the general assembly this morning. he actually opened with a joke to break the ice. he said, "the american dollar is strong." isn't that good? [ laughter ] they liked it, too. [ applause ] but obama, on a serious note, spoke about the ongoing problems between israel and palestine. obama suggested instead of focusing on their differences, they should focus on what they have in common, like their natural love of falafel and terrible disco music. i think i can solve this palestine problem with one word. and that word is timeshare. now bear with me. israel gets the land the first six months. palestinians get it the next six months of the year. you're welcome. [ applause ] drop my nobel prize in the mail, it's -- [ applause ] or, actually, send it fedex in

case the post office closes down. this is pretty funny. obama posed for a group photograph with other world leaders and look. you see his hand blocking the guy next to him's face. i was wondering who the guy was. it turns out he's the president of mongolia. turns out, there is a president of mongolia and it's him. and i found a video about the guy, courtesy of the biography channel. >> this is the president of mongolia. he co-drafted mongolia's new constitution and is an active voice for environmental protection. he's been the prime minister of mongolia twice and a member of parliament four times. he and his wife have five children and he loves to high five. >> jimmy: he might not have a face. [ applause ] meanwhile, got good news today for a change, for two american hikers who were captured in iran. back in 2009, these guys went

hiking in iraq but wandered into iran, where they were held captive by the iranian government who accused them of being spies. see, this is the reason i don't exercise. right there. but they -- this is what you get when you book your overseas hiking adventure through groupon. [ laughter ] to me, hiking in malibu is too dangerous, never mind iraq. but thankfully, after two years in prison, the men were released today, after we posted $500,000 worth of bail apiece. and i tell you, let that be a lesson to you, iran, if you take our citizens hostage, we will pay you half a million dollars apiece. [ laughter ] speaking of paying people, let's get back to round two of our scavenger hunt. with our viewers in dallas and chicago. chris and crystal. what did you guys do when i was gone? >> i listened to your fabulous monologue. >> jimmy: thank you, crystal. you're really getting back into my good graces. you ready for the next challenge? >> yep. >> ready. >> jimmy: all right. $300 for the worst thing in your house. okay?

i will pick whose item is worse. come back with the worst thing you own. don't bring your kids because that could hurt their self-esteem. find the worst thing in the house and -- crystal, what do you have there? >> this is a really decrepit basketball. >> jimmy: okay. it's pretty dirty. okay. it's a basketball. and chris? >> jimmy, this was a wedding gift. my wife loves it, i hate it. >> jimmy: what is it? >> i don't know. it's -- >> jimmy: it looks like a guy making out with a dove. >> she's going to kill me for putting this on. >> jimmy: who gave that to you guys? >> um -- it's our -- in-laws coworker. >> jimmy: oh, what's the name? >> i can't remember. >> jimmy: oh. for an extra $100, would you be able to remember the name? >> veronica. >> jimmy: veronica. all right.

i don't believe it, but okay, you win that one. that basketball's not so bad. all right, next one. $400 -- go to the bathroom, wrap yourself up in a roll of toilet paper and come back as a mummy. okay? whoever is most mummy-ish -- i like watching people run around their apartment. this could be a show, right? people running around their apartments looking for things? in real life there's more cursing when you're trying to find something. i don't know where their bathrooms are located in reference to their living room and i don't know what that room is there, but -- wow, they must really be getting wrapped up. i guess it's hard to walk after you're wrapped up in toilet paper. all right, here comes chris. who has got some toilet paper on him. okay. chris looks more like he's --

he's been the victim of a high school prank. and crystal looks like she's wearing a scarf. well -- >> the economy, man! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well -- all right. i guess we're going to have to give it to chris because at least he's got it on the head. all right, stay right there, all right? we're going to play one bonus round because i want you guys to win some money, all right? all right. this is pretty good. two guys in florida were arrested over the weekend for allegedly stealing miami dolphins jerseys from the team store. and i'm guessing their lawyer did not approve this wardrobe choice. >> two men accused of stealing the miami dolphins jerseys from sun life stadium showed up in court yesterday wearing miami dolphins jer seems. one of the defendants told the judge the jersey was not the same one he was accused of stealing. now, that same defendant has 29 prior felonies and he's been banned from the stadium for life.

>> you are charged with stealing a dolphin jersey? hmm. >> jimmy: maybe he was hoping justice would be blind. [ laughter ] peta, the people for the ethical treatment of animals, they've announced they are going to be starting their own pornographic website, to promote their message of vegan eating and animal rights. bee peta says the porn site will be just like a regular porn site, but in this case, the pizza delivery guy will be deliverers a mushroom and onion pizza. [ applause ] no, no. let's go back to chris and crystal. okay, guys, you've been disappointing so far, but i have one more challenge for you, okay? this also involves the bathroom. you now know where it is, correct? >> yep. >> jimmy: all right. i want you to go to your bathroom. i want you to get toothpaste. i want you to squeeze it onto your face to make a beard and

mustac mustache. the best that comes back, $500. go, go, go, go now, go! there they go. off to the bathroom again. you know, chris went the other way to the bathroom last time. i guess there's a toothpaste bathroom and a bathroom for toilet paper. i have mine combined into one at my house. we've always done that, the kimmels. all right. here we go. all right. that's -- okay that's pretty good. >> i have time to touch it up, you know what i'm saying? >> jimmy: you look like a young santa claus. chris is probably trying to find something other than aqua fresh so he doesn't have -- >> it's aqua fresh. >> jimmy: you look like pee-wee herman. i'm going to have to give that to crystal. i think she really -- [ applause ] all right. well, thank you both for playing. chris and crystal, everybody. our dallas and chicago viewers, representing those cities

proudly. [ applause ] and one more thing. you know, tomorrow's the last official day of summer. after tomorrow, the weather gets colder, the movies get sadder. the days get shorter, which keeps happening and somebody needs to figure out why that goes on every year. but today, my cousin sal decided to say good-bye to summer the best way he knows how, and that is by walking around our office with a super soaker and shooting people in the face. >> can you believe summer's over? can you believe it? hi. cousin sal! >> nice to meet you. >> oh! >> how far did you come from? >> michigan. >> michigan? >> oh, my god. >> here's a great lake for you. >> oh! >> no!

no! >> are you sad summer's over? >> all right. >> who is this guy? >> hey. clean up your act, boy. all right, good. you guys know summer's over, right? >> okay, all right. all right. not the hair. not the hair. >> hey! ah! oh! >> you have a door over here. >> i realize that now. >> no! no! no no! no! >> angela. do i have any messages? >> oh, my god! are you kidding me? oh, my god. stop. >> get the phone. >> good afternoon, "jimmy kimmel live." stop! oh my god!

you guys are such jerks. are you kidding me right now? >> i am kidding. i was kidding, you're right, i was kidding. >> say hello to my little friend! oh, we can't see you. come on. where are you? all right. oh, i'm out. stupid thing's broken. ah. it's not broken! >> you're not supposed to fight back, you jerk! >> i don't think that was water. damn it. we have an ending? >> jimmy: thanks for the gun. we had fun. we have a good show for you tonight. from "happy endings," elisha cuthbert is here. we have music from pitbull. and we'll be right back with newly-crowned emmy winner julie bowen. so stick around. [ husband ] you ready for this?

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>> jimmy: welcome back. tonight on the program, from the show "happy endings," you can watch the new season starting next wednesday at 9:30 here on abc, elisha cuthbert is here. and then, a multiplatinum selling artist, with music from this album -- it's called "planet pit" -- from the samsung at&t summer krush concert series at the paramount theater in seattle, pitbull. he will be with us. and you can also see pitbull live in concert on the euphoria tour with enrique iglesias. that's starting tomorrow night in boston. tomorrow night on our show, it is the first night, or prima notte, of our annual la feast of san gennaro. it's a big charity event we started ten years ago here. we shut down the street behind our theater and eat a lot of italian food. we'll be joined by ellen pompeo, sammi and ronnie from "jersey shore" and we'll have music from daryl hall. so please join us then.

on sunday night -- [ applause ] on sunday night, i had the honor of handing our first guest an emmy award for best supporting actress in a comedy series. and tonight she's here to present one to me. she plays claire dunphy on the multi award-winning "modern family." you can watch it wednesday nights at 9:00 on abc. please say hello to julie bowen. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome. congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i was delighted to present you with the emmy. >> i was delighted it was you. but i was really hoping your mouth was going to say betty white. >> jimmy: you were hoping? >> i was hoping you would say sophia. i thought it might be saying betty. >> jimmy: rooting against yourself? >> i sure was. >> jimmy: can i be honest with you? >> yes. >> jimmy: you didn't really win. >> oh, my god! >> jimmy: jimmy fallon and i

decided we wanted you to win it, so we said your name. >> you guys did the whole bit ahead of time about not having a speech and being the jack ass who really thinks they're going to win and they have the speech and i'm watching that going, thank god i didn't write a speech and then you said "julie bowen" and i thought, "i am f-ed right now." i got about eight seconds to make something up in my head. >> jimmy: you did seem, to me, to be completely stunned when you -- not just when you came up but after -- you almost fell over. >> thank you. i told people this. >> jimmy: do you remember that? >> yes, i was so embarrassed and you and jimmy tried to cover for me, which was -- >> jimmy: i tried to catch you but you righted yourself -- >> so drunk. super duper drunk. no, just really nervous. >> jimmy: i could tell. i could tell. >> i know. >> jimmy: it was a different you all of a sudden. >> i know. i know. where was my big loud mouth? and my bravado? gone. >> jimmy: all gone. >> i know, the minute they validate you as a human being and as an actress, i fall apart. >> jimmy: i guess so. you did a great job with the speech off the cuff. was your family happy with the speech?

>> thank you. i didn't mention them, so i'm not really sure. >> jimmy: that's why we write things down. >> i know. we might have -- i could have jotted a few -- >> jimmy: who did you forget? >> the crew. i forgot the crew. >> jimmy: that's bad. >> that's bad, right? i'm going to go on monday to work and it's going to get ugly. i forgot the crew. i forgot my mom. >> jimmy: that's bad. >> my dad. that's bad, too. my sisters. and oh, and abc. >> jimmy: you forgot abc. okay. >> abc. >> jimmy: they'll get over it. you didn't mention your kids, i think. >> why? why? i -- you're right. you know who i should have thanked? the troop of nannies and baby sitters and people that keep them in line. jailers. and -- [ laughter ] and, like, zoo keepers that help me and my husband manage them. >> jimmy: on the day of the emmys, did you have -- were you able to, like, get ready and have peace and quiet and -- >> i had this whole fantasy day kind of worked out. i'm not a novice anymore.

i'm going to go to a hotel room and get ready. and in the morning, i'm going to take the kids to the pancake breakfast at the fire house -- civic minded, right? >> jimmy: i like that. >> hang out with cute firemen. bonus. >> jimmy: sure. >> and unfortunately one of my twins started barfing all over me. >> jimmy: really? on you? >> oh, on me. and so my husband left with the other two and i sat in a chair like this because it was pooling in this region. >> jimmy: oh my goodness. >> and if i stood up, it was going to go everywhere. for an hour and a half, i sat there going -- this sucks. this is bad. this really, really sucks. it smells. and i can't move for an hour and a half. >> jimmy: that's the great thing about the emmy. it never vomits on you. >> i tried swaddling it. it's nicer. >> jimmy: it gives and it gives and it never spews. >> but in my crazy mentality, you have to -- there's the pain of that, allowed me to have the emmy. nothing's free. >> jimmy: karmic balance. so, the kids don't care about the emmy, i'm guessing?

>> no, they think -- my oldest, my 4-year-old, wants to know which x-man it is. >> jimmy: really? >> it's the x-man whose special power is lifting it up and crashing it to the ground. otherwise, they could give a rat's ass. >> jimmy: they do not care. >> it's a cool weapon. have you seen it? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, definitely a cool weapon. >> definitely cool. >> jimmy: have you seen it? that's almost taunting. >> i heard it as it came out of my mouth. >> jimmy: yeah, i've seen it. i gave it to you. >> i know! >> jimmy: remember that? i could have given it to anyone. i could have thrown it in the audience and let people fight over it. but instead i handed it to you. >> and that was really nice. >> jimmy: what else am i going to do? it would have been bad -- >> arrogant to just saunter off with it. >> jimmy: i could have held it above you and let you jump for it.

that would have been bad, too. >> that dress was too taped in place. >> jimmy: i was going to do that to betty white. i was going to hold it over her head and just bear it out. >> i would like to see what would happen, if her dress just ripped open, too. >> jimmy: we'd all like to see that. okay. >> there are magazines devoted to that. >> jimmy: you have to work the next day? >> i was supposed to go to an audition but thanks to you and your pal jimmy fallon's late night partying i sounded like lauren bacall and was not fit. >> jimmy: how late were you at that party? >> let me tell you, you go to the parties, there's like footmen handing you cool glasses of champagne and then you get to this party -- >> jimmy: i had nothing to do with it. i was just in attendance. >> i don't know. it's like, they have these big black curtains and you go behind and it's just -- boom, boom, boom and there's an in and out truck, and -- >> jimmy: yep. >> dark, smoky, scary, sweaty room that has, like, john voigt in a jaunty scarf.

>> jimmy: yeah, i saw that. yeah. >> it's 3:00 a.m., dude. >> jimmy: what the hell was happening there? i thought i was hallucinating that. >> no, that was real. >> jimmy: really? >> that was real. taye diggs getting sexy on me. i didn't mind it. >> jimmy: sure. >> our kids, like, play together. >> jimmy: you have to keep it -- >> yeah. and then like rob pattinson in trucker gear. and you and jimmy, like -- >> no, we were not dancing together. >> no, you were doing the perched on the back of the booth like this thing, not up the skirt, like this. yo. yo. >> jimmy: no, i think -- i think you're confusing me with someone else. >> that was you. >> jimmy: how dare you. well, we're going to take a break here while i recover my image. and -- julie bowen, emmy-winner julie bowen. "modern family," watch it wednesday nights at 9:00 here on abc. we'll be right back. [ male announcer ] on a dull, dull day in a ho hum world...

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excuse me. did you notice the curb here is painted yellow? >> ah, no, i did not. >> it means loading and unloading. >> okay, well, i was just dropping off my kids. >> i see no kids emerging from the vehicle. >> well, we were chatting. >> well --

>> at the risk of surprising me a third time, i've been dropping off here for years -- >> move it. >> okay. >> what's her problem? >> you know what you should -- >> nothing, i should have said nothing would be the point. why make it worse? that's exactly what i'm talking about. awkward, unpleasant situation, rise above. have a nice day. love you. bye-bye. i see no children emerging from the vehicle. i see your fist emerging into your face. oh! now i think of it. >> jimmy: that's julie bowen on "modern family." [ applause ] julie -- >> yes? >> jimmy: you -- you did not work this week, right? >> i did not. >> jimmy: but you go back -- but sunday night was also your anniversary. >> it was. eight years of wedded bliss. >> jimmy: wow. [ applause ] >> thank you. yeah. i mean, in the meantime, we've

made three people, which is a big accomplishment. not every drunk 16-year-old can do that. oh, wait -- but you know, eight years ago, and i should have said this as i was thanking my husband. eight years ago on our wedding night, i was asleep with a 6 week old, my niece, while he was playing beer pong in the kitchen in a britney spears half shirt. >> jimmy: he plays a lot of beer pong. >> we've come so far. he does. he really likes beer pong. >> jimmy: i guess so. >> do you think that's bad? >> jimmy: no, i don't think it's bad. >> i think it's good for people to have passions in life. >> jimmy: i think the half shirt is bad if he's continuing to wear that. >> you know what? >> jimmy: the beer pong is okay. >> it was 3:00 a.m., it was a moment. and he went around -- everybody was wearing those ridiculous wedding outfits and he thought it would be more fun to half them up. >> jimmy: he's a romantic. >> it was so romantic. like, how did you spend your wedding night? i'm like, well, we did make egg

sandwiches and then i passed out and he played beer pong. super romantic. >> jimmy: going in the reverse of the way cupels normally go. >> exactly. on our 50th anniversary, we're going to hold hands and make sweet love. >> jimmy: now your television ty burrell, to whom you don't actually make sweet love, he also won. and he is fantastic on the show, also. did you guys have a conversation afterwards -- >> we -- first there was weeping. and then there was an immediate discussion about what kind of high demands we would start making. >> jimmy: really? >> we share a trailer as it stands right now and it has a very thin wall separating, sadly, the bathroom. and -- but i'm not going to go down that road. i can always hear everything that he -- he's talking and jumping. >> jimmy: what does he do in there? >> working out bits. solo. >> jimmy: by himself? >> yeah, i go in there, i'm like -- what? oh, you're solo in here doing this. >> jimmy: you don't do any of that stuff? >> ah, no, no. i don't.

i have -- no. >> jimmy: a different method? >> my method is to do with the writers tell me to. >> jimmy: whatever you are doing, it's working out for you. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: congratulations. the show is great, once again. "modern family" premiered tonight and you can watch it every wednesday night right here on abc. we'll be right back with elisha cuthbert. ♪ walking my own way ♪ it's just how i want to do it ♪ ♪ changing of my mind ♪ it's just how we're gonna do it ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] turn your world upside down with gillette fusion proglide because you can shave against the grain with comfort. fusion proglide's microcomb guides hair for its thinner blades to cut close effortlessly. get against-the-grain closeness comfortably with gillette fusion proglide.

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>> jimmy: welcome back. still to come, pitbull from seattle. our next guest is a talented young woman with a name that is impossible to say with a lisp. her show is called "happy endings." its season premiere is a week from tonight on abc. please welcome elisha cuthbert.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's good to see you. welcome back. >> thank you. >> jimmy: what's going on with the thing there? >> this? >> jimmy: yeah. >> oh, you know. it's just -- i kind of wanted to talk to you about something. >> jimmy: all right. >> okay. i hope this isn't weird. i just feel like -- this is my seventh time on the show. which i love and i appreciate and that's so amazing. i love the show. >> jimmy: this is going to be bad? >> every time i come here, it's so much fun back there and there's all these amazing pictures of you and your guests. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> if it's okay with you, i just thought maybe it would be nice if there was a picture of you and i. >> jimmy: oh, you mean backstage there's no picture of us together backstage? >> no. >> jimmy: i'm sorry. i didn't -- yeah. >> maybe that's a choice. i didn't want to pressure you. >> jimmy: no, it wasn't -- it certainly wasn't a choice. it just -- >> oh, you know. >> jimmy: someone looks at those things. >> this is my seventh time, now

i'm, you guys like me, this is good. >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely. >> are you okay with this? >> jimmy: absolutely. >> i didn't want to put you out. >> jimmy: you gave us a picture? >> i'm working. "happy endings" is taking a lot of my time. i did a little quick thing of us and i thought, if you're ready, we can put this up. >> jimmy: yeah, sure, absolutely. >> if you don't mind. it was quick. it was quickly done. >> jimmy: well, that's definitely me. >> it's me -- well -- >> charles barkley or shaq or something like that? >> i think it was shack. >> jimmy: i like it. >> his head was the easiest to move -- >> jimmy: i love it. it's bizarre. >> i just felt like i was left out. >> jimmy: can i promise you something? i will get a place of great prominence. >> i like it a lot. >> oh, yes. yes! >> jimmy: how are you doing otherwise now that we have that ugliness -- >> is it ugly? >> jimmy: no, me forgetting to put you on the wall. >> no, it's not ugly.

i wanted to, i don't know, put myself out there. >> jimmy: the show, people seem to be discovering it right now which is a weird thing, a year after it's been on. but i notice a lot of people talking about it. >> oh, good. >> jimmy: this is your first comedy show, right? >> yeah. i'm going all out. >> jimmy: how long were you jack bauer's daughter on "24?" how many seasons? >> eight years. >> jimmy: do you miss being kidnapped? >> you know, no. >> jimmy: not. >> no. i do. that was such a huge part of my career. i mean, that was great. but right now i'm really embracing the comedy of things. >> jimmy: yeah, because that was an intense show. >> it was. and now i'm with a group of actors who are so talented, and so comedic. damon wayans jr. does standup on a regular basis -- >> jimmy: is he related to damon wayans sr.? >> that is his son. no. i got that wrong. damon way anan -- wayans sr. is

the father of damon jr. >> jimmy: i had a feeling. >> he does standup and casey wilson comes from "snl" and adam does the ucb every weekend. great cast. for the start of the premiere this year, the cast had this idea of doing a live performance at the ucb, which is this amazing improv comedy show. but i don't do any of this. this is my first -- but i'm kind of like, you know what? why not? right? like -- >> jimmy: they have a lot of experience on stage. so, this is your first live thing? >> i'm like, what am i going to do? because we all have these great -- they have all these great acts and i'm, like, what am i going to bring to the table? >> jimmy: well, what did you do? >> well -- that's the thing. i do a little thing -- i'm very talented at little things. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. in the first episode of the second season, i do a little number. a little hula hoop number. >> jimmy: okay, all right.

>> they suggested to me that maybe they would put two minutes on the clock and make it a big deal, going to come out and give you two minutes of some hula hoop action. >> jimmy: okay. all right. >> so i was like -- are you sure? i don't -- i don't know. i don't think this is going to be funny. they're like, trust me. it's great. i'm like, okay. so i was like, you know what? i'm here, let's do it. so i did it. >> jimmy: you hula hooped for two minutes? >> the thing is, the little, the glitch in the whole thing is that i hula hoop without a hula hoop. >> jimmy: a hoopless hula hoop? >> yes. [ applause ] it's no big deal. >> jimmy: can you demonstrate that? i have no idea what you're talking about. >> you want me to do it? you want me to do it? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do a little bit of it. >> okay, fine. oh. ♪

oh, whoa, whoa. oh. it's up to my neck. >> jimmy: wow. ♪ that's amazing. wow. [ applause ] beautifully done. >> everybody dance now. >> jimmy: having a seizure, actually. >> you don't like it when i take it to the neck? >> jimmy: no, i do like it. >> when i take it to the necken it's like a big deal. >> jimmy: i didn't fall one time. >> i can take it and i can hop through it. >> jimmy: i didn't know you could do that, too. >> right? >> jimmy: maybe the rose bowl. >> so much i can do. >> jimmy: too small a venue for this talent. well, congratulations on the show. second season of the show starts

one week from night, 9:30 wednesday night here on abc. elisha cuthbert, everybody. we'll be right back pitbull. ♪

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the paramount theater in seattle, pitbull! ♪ ♪ ay-ya-ya ay-ya-ya let it rain over me ♪ ♪ ay-ya-ya ay-ya-ya let it rain over me ♪ ♪ a bill is the new milli and voli is the new vodka 40 is the new 30 baby you're a rock star ♪ ♪ ♪ teach me baby or better yet freak me baby yes, yes ♪ ♪ i'm freaky baby i'm gonna make sure that your peach feels peachy baby ♪ ♪ no boogie broods i like my women sexy classy, sassy ♪ ♪ powerful yes that like to get a little -- ♪ this ain't a game you'll see you can put the blame on me ♪

♪ and let it rain over me ♪ girl my body don't lie i'm out of my mind let it rain over me i'm rising so high ♪ ♪ out of my mind so let it rain over me ♪ ♪ ay-ya-ya ay-ya-ya let it rain over me ♪ ♪ ay-ya-ya ay-ya-ya let it rain over me ♪ ♪ a bill is the new milli and voli is the new vodka latin is the new majority ya tu sabe ♪ ♪ next step la casa blanca ♪ ♪ mami you know the drill they won't know what i got till they read the will ♪ ♪ i ain't trying i ain't tying to keep it real ♪ ♪ i'm trying to keep wealth and that's for real ♪ ♪ ♪ no games you'll see you could put the blame on me

and let it rain over me ♪ ♪ girl my body don't lie i'm out of my mind let it rain over me i'm rising so high ♪ ♪ out of my mind so let it rain over me ♪ ♪ ay-ya-ya ay-ya-ya let it rain over me ♪ ♪ ay-ya-ya ay-ya-ya let it rain over me ♪ ♪ i was playing with her she was playing with me next thing you know we were playing with three ♪ ♪ oh oh oh ♪ oh oh oh ♪ i was playing with her she was playing with me next thing you know we were playing with three ♪

♪ oh oh oh ♪ oh oh oh ♪ rain over me ♪ girl my body don't lie i'm out of my mind let it rain over me i'm rising so high ♪ ♪ out of my mind so let it rain over me ♪ ♪ ay-ya-ya ay-ya-ya let it rain over me ♪ ♪ ay-ya-ya ay-ya-ya let it rain over me ♪ >> jimmy: i want to thank julie bowen, elisha cuthbert. i want to apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. tomorrow night, ellen pompeo, sammi and ronnie from "jersey shore" and music from daryl hall. this is the album, it's called "planet pit." playing us off the air wit