tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC November 24, 2011 12:00am-1:05am PST
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thanks for watching abc news. home you check in for "good morning america." "jimmy kimmel live" up next and everyone have a happy thanksgiving. >> dicky: tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: you guy you met standing in line for the bathroom at a jimmy buffet concert? he's not your friend. >> dicky: tim allen. >> jimmy: your daughters are far apart. are you waiting for the price of diapers to come down? >> well, i don't like sex that much. >> dicky: jackson rathbone. and music from miranda lambert. >> during labor, she was in the bed in the hospital -- h@
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>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a word from cars.com. the place to shop confidently with a wide selection of new and used vehicles, side by side comparisons, consumer and expert vehicle reviews and tools to make sure you get the right car at the right place. you know, our friend yehya has been on a college football tailgate party pilgrimage with cars.com. he's been from arizona to pasadena to san francisco. it has been quite an adventure and it is time now to take a fond look back. >> action! >> action! hi, i'm yehya. i'm here for the game. for cars.com. i come for the -- let's go.
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want food? i have -- it's not good man. i got your falafel. i got you -- >> tastes like feet! >> drop it in my helmet. eat it. everybody eat my tailgate. i have falafel. make you very strong. go to cars.com. >> after i'm done. >> good luck, man. >> what's the plan, yehya? >> ah -- cars -- >> confidence comes standard? >> yeah, for cars.com. what i say now? >> dicky: head to cars.com to find all the tools you need to shop confidently for your next car. cars.com. confidence comes standard. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with jackson rathbone, music from miranda lambert and tim allen.
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well let's see... hey say? it says sheila looks great... topless. [ laughter ] what's so funny? nothing. nothing. and it says here hank's a real gas guzzler. you hear that hank? burp. whatever. hey, what about me? it says your ride is very smooth. aw, yeah. hear that sheila? never gonna happen. [ male announcer ] with consumer and expert reviews. confidence comes standard. see just like the reviews said. big rear-end. excuse me?
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i know. this is great. you know, i feel like... did you just check the game on your phone? what? no! what am i, like some kind of summoner who can just summon footage to his phone like that? come on. i guess i'm just a little... [ grunts ] oversensitive. it's just that you and i -- yes! [ male announcer ] only at&t's network lets your iphone download 3x faster. at&t.
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- tim allen. "twilight's" jackson rathbone. and music from miranda lambert. with cleto and the cletones. and now, for good measure, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well that's very nice. thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. thank you. i'm glad you're enthusiastic because this is a big night. a larger size night than usual because tonight is national unfriend day eve. tomorrow is national unfriend day, which we call n.u.d. and tonight is n.u.d.e.
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national unfriend day, in case you haven't heard, is a day on which we ask everyone who is on facebook to go through their list of friends and dispose of anyone who isn't actually your friend. okay? [ laughter ] a lot of people on facebook have hundreds, sometimes thousands of what they call friends, but they aren't friends and keeping track of every single one of them, i think, is too much. your windows have screens to keep the bugs out, right? [ laughter ] there's a peephole in your front door. you should have something for your facebook page. you know that strange feeling of accomplishment you get when you pull a big clump of hair out of your shower drain and the water goes down? that's the feeling you will get from national unfriend day. watch "the social network" facebook was not built on friendship. okay? and the guy you met standing in line for the bathroom at a jimmy buffet concert? he's not your friend. [ laughter ] and tomorrow, he's gone from your life. and he has no idea it's coming, either. and guess what? when he posts a status update to complain about it, you won't
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even see it. [ laughter ] this is a gentleman that has 108 friends. his name is ricky. and let's start with his profile picture. took a picture of himself in a bathroom mirror making a kissy face. that, to me, is two strikes already. let's read what he has to say here on his page. just drank another diet coke. going to buy a all you could eat wrest band tomorrow yup. going to eat like a king yup. going to get some chips fo me self. what kind of chips should i buy? about to lmao. about to? starting to feel better. woot woot. feel like going out, hungry. dang i feel bomb. turkey sandwich was not enough. ready to hit up universal studios mmmm my stomach hurts. drank too much diet coke xp. let's be honest about ricky. no one wants to be his friend. it's time to let him go.
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a lot of people will get nervous about unfriending a family member, and that i can understand, but -- you know, if your mother-in-law asks you why she isn't your facebook friend anymore, you can say, i don't know, i think maybe the internet is broken. and she will probably believe it. and you can also just blame me. i'm happy to provide that service for you. to make things easier tomorrow, if you go to our facebook page, we have an assortment of national unfriend day cards that you can send to people you're getting rid of. this is a great way to tell somebody you never want to hear from them again. like this one. you did it! you posted about eating yogurt again. unfriended. [ applause ] you're a great boss -- but being facebook friends means you can see when i'm posting pictures of my iguana instead of working. good-bye. [ applause ] and -- congratulations on your cousin's baby. and thanks for all 37 pictures of him. unfriended.
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[ applause ] okay? and you can use those. there are more of them. to access them, go to facebook.com/jimmykimmellive. click the n.u.d. cards tab. and you don't have to friend us to do it. we're not hypocrites here. you know, when i was a kid, on christmas eve, my parents always let us open one gift. so, i'm going to let you unfriend one person right now on the night before national unfriend day. my cousin sal is outside on hollywood boulevard, where we set up unfriending booths to allow people to go in, there are computers in there and they can -- cousin sal, who are you unfriending this year? >> ah, you know, i think facebook is for sissies but if i were on, i would unfriend my mother, who posts upwards of 50 doo-wop videos a day, and they're all the greatest thing anyone's seen. >> jimmy: that is true. that's my aunt fran. she posts a lot.
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she should be eliminated. if you are following aunt fran, unfriend her. >> out. >> jimmy: let's talk to some people. can we get somebody out of a booth now? >> let me see. wow. vavoom. hi. >> jimmy: what is your name? >> rebecca. >> jimmy: rebecca, who did you unfriend? >> i unfriended veronica. >> jimmy: why? >> you know, she's dating this guy friend of mine and she kept hitting on me which is, like, not okay. >> jimmy: oh, really? woo. it's okay with me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy, i'm going to need some alone time in the booth. >> jimmy: you feel better now that you got rid of her? >> you know this is great. i feel really good. >> jimmy: okay, very good. look how good she feels. that's testimony right there. check back in with you a little later, cousin sal. [ applause ] >> this is facebook breaking news. >> good evening, i'm diane sawyer and we have breaking news out of atlanta, georgia, where darius wants to know if anyone has ever licked their own eyeball. we see no replies yet but we'll be sure to keep you posted. >> jimmy: all right, well, i guess there is some important
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news coming out of facebook. [ applause ] my aunt chippy is not a facebook user. i think -- the closest thing she gets to a computer, even, is a video poker machine she married a few years ago. we thought it would be fun to get a fresh take from someone who never read a status update. so we had aunt chippy comb through actual facebook pages. let's see how that went. >> hey, this is aunt chippy. i'm here to go over who to defrock, defriend, unfriend, whatever the hell they call it on your facebook thing. first we're taking a look at, right now, holy [ bleep ], it's chasey. who has 1988 friends, shows us an ultrasound of her baby and a picture of her with her ass sticking out. "friends come see me dance at whispers tonight, two for one well drinks." she's a pregnant stripper? you have to be kidding me. that's disgusting. it's -- un-american. or something. i don't know. okay.
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"clear stilettos are more comfortable than they look." she's a slut. nobody has 1,988 friends. she's a pig and they're animals. unfriend. oh. dave. dave's got 412 friends. you have to see this [ bleep ]. holy [ bleep ]. he looks like the devil incarcerated. he says, "i'm going to eat your children." this guy is a sick son of a -- unfriend! we got wendy. "extremely exciting book club night, girl with dragon tattoo." that book sucked. i read it. "bbe, best book ever." i can't read anymore because you're [ bleep ] boring the [ bleep ] out of me. good night, good-bye, unfriend. bye-bye.
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piece of [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: well, that's -- [ applause ] thank you, aunt chippy. so, please, join us tomorrow for national unfriend day. do your part. this is something. oprah's best friend gayle had a big announcement. she's quitting her talk show on the oprah network and her radio show on the oprah sirius show to co-host a new morning show for cbs. she unfriended oprah. that's dangerous, i have to say. i hope she doesn't accidentally slip and fall in a puddle of oprah's favorite body butter. oprah claims she's thrilled for gayle. she put out a statement. i don't know, i wouldn't want to be a gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream right about now. but i guess it's stedman's time to shine now, isn't it? let's check back in with cousin sal and our unfriending booths. sal, you got somebody? all right. there we go. what is your name? >> kevin. >> jimmy: kevin, who did you unfriend?
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>> i unfriended christian. >> jimmy: why did you do that? >> he started dating my ex-girlfriend two weeks after we broke up. >> jimmy: oh, really? you broke up with christian and he started dating her? there's a lot of that going on in the booths there. so -- why did it take you so long to do this? >> i just never got around to it. i just didn't bother with him. >> jimmy: will you be unfriending other people? >> maybe one more. >> jimmy: one more? who do you have in mind? >> brendan. >> jimmy: why him? >> he posts about his band all the time. pointless things. >> jimmy: all right, good. well, get rid of him! >> i will. >> jimmy: and here's your little sticker to let you know you unfriended today. all right. thank you very much. we'll come back to you, sal. stay there. in other protest news, yesterday, the occupy wall street protesters were forced to end their almost two month long campout in zuccotti park. the occupy los angeles protest is still going wrong. yesterday, our local cbs news was on the scene there with a city counsel member, who was
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good enough to provide us with our unintentional joke of the day. >> sound like you're ready to go out and pitch and tent and join them. >> my tent is pitched right here in the building. >> jimmy: hey, how about that? [ laughter ] at his age, it's worth talking about. impressive. [ applause ] here's some international news. there's legislation on the table in the netherlands that would ban tourists from visiting the famous coffee shops in amsterdam that sell marijuana. only locals would be allowed to go in them. that's fine, amsterdam, but guess what? we're not letting you into build a bear then. this could have a major impact on travel to the netherlands. a lot of people go there to smoke pot. but the dutch tourism board is hard at work on a new ad campaign that is -- i guess it's to highlight the many other great things the country is known for. >> come to the netherlands. we have windmills. white ones. green ones. big ones and little ones, too.
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who needs drugs when you have windmills? it's fun to get tipsy by pretending to be a windmill. come to the netherlands. we also have butter cookies. >> jimmy: oh, i do like butter cookies. [ laughter ] "people" magazine has named their sexiest man alive for 2011 and it is -- drum roll? can we get a drum roll? it's -- bradley cooper is "people" magazine's sexiest man alive. i'm excited for him, too. i don't know. if he's so good looking, how come you never see him romantically linked to famous women? all eyes will be on bradley to see what kind of sexiest man he'll be. you know, the first few weeks are very important to setting the tone for your term. and by the way, i would like to also congratulate guillermo, who today was named "people's" mexiest man alive. [ applause ] eighth year in a row? >> yeah. >> jimmy: eight years in a row. congratulations. you definitely earned it.
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>> this is facebook breaking news. >> good evening, i'm diane sawyer. a developing story to tell you about tonight from jocelyn. her phone bugged out and deleted all her contacts, so please send her your digits asap. >> jimmy: wow. thank you, diane. that's -- [ applause ] let's go back outside to see how our unfriending campaign is going with cousin sal, pulling people out of the booth. how are you? >> i'm good, jimmy. >> jimmy: what is your name? >> heather. >> jimmy: who did you unfriend? >> a friend of mine from college. >> jimmy: who is the friend? >> susan. >> jimmy: why did you unfriend her? >> well, she's not only on there every two minutes, but she likes to talk about everything, bodily functions that are not really that interesting, like, constipated, especially during labor, she was in the bed in the hospital -- >> jimmy: all right. thank you, cousin sal. [ applause ] what are you going to do?
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and -- [ laughter ] it was probably for the best. one more thing. potentially very big news for the very big -- researchers in maryland are reportedly developing a drug that will make you able to lose weight without dieting or exercise. it's called crystal meth and -- [ laughter ] no, i don't know -- [ laughter ] the trials for the drug have gone well so far. though, up to this point, they have only been conducted on monkeys. and for some reason, this drug is being marketed at money ke s monkeys, too. >> are you having a hard time shedding those extra pounds? tried exercise? diet? beer? drinking your own pee. even smoking doesn't help. try chimpadex. the only weight loss supplement specifically tested on lab monkeys. chimpadex. monkey tested, monkey approved. side effects may include nausea, fatigue and rapid increase in monkey sex. have more fun with chimpadex.
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[ applause ] >> jimmy: we have a good show for you tonight. from "twilight," jackson rathbone is here. we have music from miranda lambert. and we'll be right back with tim allen, so stick around. oh, big game, guys! what are we having? you've got to try the new sizzling entrees. [ sizzling ] [ male announcer ] fresh flavor never sounded so good. ok, i'll have that. [ male announcer ] applebee's new sizzling entrees are here. so come try our juicy new double barrel whisky sirloins, topped with caramelized onions and mushrooms, and served over handmade garlic mashed potatoes. there's also our sizzling cajun steak and shrimp, and more. new sizzling entrees starting at $8.99. come taste what's new in the neighborhood. only at applebee's. now serving half-price appetizers late night.
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what? pay you? hang on. kitchen counselor here. mom, i think what she means is "greasy dishes." cascade complete pacs fight tough greasy messes better than the other tablet. there's only one cascade. love it, or your money back. [ male announcer ] if you're gonna build a fuel-efficient car, the first thing you got to do is make a car that's worth building, that has all the luxury you'd expect. then you put in an 8-speed transmission that gets 31 miles per gallon.
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>> jimmy: hi there. welcome back. tonight on the show, on friday, beginning friday, you can see him in "the twilight saga: breaking dawn part one," jackson rathbone is here. he's a vampire. so be ware. and then with music from this, her new album, it's called "four the record," cma vocalist of the year, miranda lambert from the bud light outdoor stage. tomorrow night, please join us for our second annual unfriend day special with guests peter facinelli, chef jamie oliver, music from vince gill, and an assortment of surprise celebrity appearances. let's quickly check in with cousin sal to see -- hi, cousin sal. >> hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: who is -- what is your name? >> kelsey. >> jimmy: who did you unfriend? >> i just got back from australia from four months, i had a bunch of friends there and
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i'm getting rid of all of them. >> jimmy: that's the spirit of america we love. thank you. that's how you do it right there. cut them loose and the hell with them. our first guest tonight is a man's man and a toy astronaut's toy astronaut. you know him from many films and his show, "home improvement." his return to television is called "last man standing." watch it tuesdays at 8:00 on abc. please say hello to tim allen. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how's it going? >> it's going. it's going very well here in the basement. >> jimmy: are you on facebook? are you a facebooker? >> oh, i can't get off of it. no idea. just all day, every day. no, actually, it's a strange thing. we were just listening to all the horseplay, so amusing back there.
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peephole was funny. that should be your software. it was in your bit. i'm on a thing called who say. >> jimmy: what's who say? >> it's on top of twitter and on top of facebook. i type in whoa say -- >> jimmy: is it a real thing? >> yeah. >> jimmy: it sounds like one of saddam hussein's sons. >> it actually -- hey! hey! already, the jokes start! good. a professional. >> jimmy: how are you enjoying your return to television? last time you were here, you were preparing for it -- and now you're in it. >> well, things have changed. we did "home improvement," we were getting these ridiculous numbers, like super bowl numbers, and now it's not the same thing. >> jimmy: well, there are many more channels now and -- >> people look around a little bit. we have no help. i mean, what was considered -- like, my mom sees it, it's that -- that laugh track is kind of phony sounding. i go, mom, that's actually live studio audience. you haven't seen it. i think "two and a half men" does it.
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there are several -- it's very rare and it sounds live and -- >> jimmy: but it's nice when parents are supportive. [ laughter ] >> oh, she's -- i think he overshot the runway a little. >> jimmy: you are an executive producer on the show. how many are there? >> i think 6,000, 7,000. [ laughter ] it goes all the way through the opening credits, there are so many people -- i have never met any of them. i don't know. >> jimmy: what are your duties as executive producer? >> well, the one fun part is i really like sets. you have a cool set. i like sets -- certain things i like to do, the set design. i'm -- last show, "home improvement" was contracting. i like building stuff. this will have cars. i like guns and all that stuff. so, i said, in hector, he plays my boss, i said, in his office, i want sub machine guns. not just guns. and you should see the look on disney, you know, the parent company. oh, god. like i wanted pornography. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the more they got irritated the more i said, no, i demand it! and so they got a -- i think i
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got -- i love to say -- heckler and koch. it's actually the name of the -- you can say that, like chickens. or caulk around a bathtub. >> jimmy: right. >> i had a -- >> jimmy: you can have all the ca caulk you want. >> and if you have an electric one that removes it, it's a caulk sucker. >> jimmy: and they were worried about the machine gun. >> they got this one, it's an atf guy and fbi guy on set and i go, what's with the dudes? what's with the suits? you wanted a machine gun, you have to have these cops. they sell props, for the love of god. not a real sub machine gun. so, we got them, we got -- >> jimmy: taking things too literally. >> too serious. >> jimmy: well that's how you know you're a big star. >> when they get real machine guns. >> jimmy: they wouldn't give
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charlie sheen a sub machine gun. [ laughter ] that's for sure. what are you doing for thanksgiving? what's your plan? what do you do? >> go to the -- i'm from detroit. we watch the lions lose. [ applause ] go watch the lions disappointment me again. and then eat high fat foods with my parents. >> jimmy: that's nice. do you cook? >> what i do, i like to surprise them. last year, my wife and i got in an argument. i make jokes about spam. when i was a kid, we ate spam. [ applause ] yeah. my mom said, if it was good enough to put in the can, it's good. you know? they took a lot of effort to put this in a can. so, she would slice it up, roll it in brown sugar. and that was a treat. but there was nine kids so that was a big deal. i told my wife, you won't know if you put it in the casserole. she foes, i would never seat that stuff. she's a very healthy eater. and i said, if i slice it up, fry it, put it in macaroni, cheese on it, side dish, don't make it a main dish.
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because it's literally -- it will kill you. everybody ate it and she's still mad. >> jimmy: did she eat it? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: oh, she did? well, she learned her lesson, i guess. really never the case, is it? >> no. >> jimmy: hey, you're talking about, like, designing the set, do you, on the holidays, do you put up christmas lights and -- >> you know, i -- in the hills, you can't -- not too far from here and no one comes by, you can't see it. but i like the interior stuff. my family -- we passed down a manager, we have a manager with christ in it and all that stuff -- >> jimmy: heirloom? >> it's broken, the kids broke it. you repaired it. i got three wise men but now it's two wise men and a cop. it kind of -- doesn't fit. but the -- the baby jesus has gone through some problems. >> jimmy: he has? >> well, first he lost an arm and then i put a beanie baby arm in there and now i hat to get
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another baby jesus from another set that doesn't quite fit. he looks like a thyroid problem. [ laughter ] you have people going, what's wrong with jesus? he's just bigger than he should be. but he's -- it's my favorite part of the holiday. you got to keep it. >> jimmy: you actually -- you were at steve jobs' memorial. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: was he a friend of yours? >> you know, i like to call him a friend. we got to know each other doing "toy story." and it was el japt and wonderful and sad. i mean, a lot of us were lucky enough to be there and his sister gave a eulogy. >> jimmy: i saw that, yeah. >> this is a dude -- so many changes in my life, i love techie stuff and apple has been right there and changed so many things and this is a guy -- he called me one day, we met years and years ago and he said, if you ever need a computer, you know, call me. i think people do that, like, come by any time. they don't mean it. and clearly this dude didn't mean it to a guy like me. i didn't wait until i was home. i called from the car.
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hey, yeah, that -- that whole thing, i was -- he didn't take my call. eventually -- tell him i'm in apple somewhere. >> jimmy: you would call him on the phone? >> oh, yeah. he's a really cool dude about anything, you know, other than apple stuff. i get into that, hey, so, what's that new iphone going to look like? you noe, this is a guy -- >> jimmy: would he tell you? >> no. but he would say it like, like i would tell you. i get into the comfort zone, i start going, you know what we should do with that new laptop? i like to make a clear cover to see right through to the cpu, you know? steve? steve? >> jimmy: did you really suggest that to him? >> i wanted to make an armored apple. i think sometimes apple stuff looks a little -- >> jimmy: i like that idea a lot. >> i want something that's tough. >> jimmy: something you would shoot with a machine gun. >> yes! something that can take a shot from a machine gun. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. tim allen is with us.
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big change, huh? don't have to be awkward talking to me about it. i got a lot of conversations with your sisters. >> get out. >> good talk. >> jimmy: that is "last man standing." tim allen is here with us. on your last show, on "home improvement" you had three sons on the show, your character and on this show, you have three daughters. is that because you have real daughters? >> well, that, plus -- when we decided what we were going to do, the only way -- i loved "home improvement," there were a lot of things we didn't finish. i wanted to break the wall, i have a video blog with the show and i wanted to investigate what it was like to have three girls. it was just -- i just wanted to turn it inside out. >> jimmy: your daughters are far apart in age. >> yes. they are. >> jimmy: they are -- >> one is 21 and one is 2 1/2. >> jimmy: 21 and 2 1/2. >> that would be called far apart. >> jimmy: waiting for the price of diapers to come down? >> well, i -- i don't like sex
quote
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that much, and so -- i -- >> jimmy: every once in awhile? >> every -- you know, it's tiring. so, i -- i wait and wait. >> jimmy: you got a jonas brother coming on the show -- >> well, it's funny. the jonas brothers, they're in between my daughters. we have nick jonas on the show, we're actually shooting and car guy, neat guy, polite. just a real upstanding -- >> jimmy: very nice guys. >> i was telling him, it's smart that he's acting, because, you know, they go in these phases, the hansons, remember them, all those guys two through these phases. and it's weird to see musicians hang around, like u2 and led zeppelin. that's really tough to do. i want to a birthday party, drew carey, and he had got kc and the sunshine band to show up to perform. >> jimmy: to perform? >> it was great. this guy comes out and they say, kc and the sunshine band, looks like the host, and it was him. >> jimmy: it was -- >> he's standing there, he goes -- there was silence, and
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he goes, okay, i know what you're thinking. what the hell happened to me? i'm 60, that's what happened to me. he said this is what justin timberlake will look like at 60, also. i tell you the guy was really good. when he gets into his act, he's doing this, 40 minutes in -- [ laughter ] and then he does these great spins, he goes -- ♪ do a little dance ♪ make a little love ♪ get down tonight and i'm in the back with my wife and i see him do this. ♪ do a little dance oh. ♪ make a little love >> jimmy: it's a game. >> it's a game. it's a birthday party. how much do i have to do here? >> jimmy: last time you were here, you were about to start doing standup comedy -- >> when was i here? in the '60s? >> jimmy: a year and half or something. >> yeah, i went out -- like anybody that's done standup, you
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don't just start it up again. i did movie and tv and now i'm back doing vegas and concerts and now back in vegas where i started at the tropicana years ago. >> jimmy: how did you like being back in vegas? >> well, it's back. i'm getting -- i'm in there in my opening act. i'm like, there's a lot of old people out there. [ laughter ] and i'm thinking, you know, what's he talking about? walk by him, and he goes, well, look at you. hey. i fired him. >> jimmy: good. [ laughter ] >> but clearly, you go out and you go, [ bleep ], there are a lot of old people out there. so, the whole section is walkers up front. and i end up going, anyway, so -- talking a little louder. i repeat stuff twice. i don't swear as much. because, you know, you got like grandmas. it just happens. but you been to vegas recently? >> jimmy: i grew up in las vegas. >> [ bleep ]. everybody dresses like a prostitute. [ laughter ] you notice? i wouldn't -- it's like skanky. everybody skanky.
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i saw someone wearing a dress so high i could see the dude's penis. it was so -- so -- >> jimmy: thank you. >> so good with that. >> jimmy: tim allen, everybody. "last man standing," tuesdays at 8:00 here on abc. we'll be right back with jackson rathbone. ♪ [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] house party. ♪ [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] temptation. [ female announcer ] i'll have the yellow tail, i'll have the yellow tail. ♪ [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] joker's wild.
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...shop jcp.com all day from the comfort of your home, or shop in store friday starting at 4am. find over 500 black friday deals... ...like cozy sweaters for just 9.88... ...stylish peacoats for 49.88... ...over 150 styles of boots from 19.99... ...bath towels for a low 2.99... and dazzling diamond bracelets for 99.99! save at jcp.com this thanksgiving... ...and in store at 4am on black friday! we make christmas affordable. you make it yours. jcpenney. >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back. still to come, miranda lambert will be with us. your teenage daughters and their lonely math tutors know our next guest as civil war soldier turned vegetarian vampire jasper hale in the hugely popular "twilight" movies.
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the latest installment, "breaking dawn part one" opens in theaters friday. please welcome jackson rathbone. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome. there's a -- there's a lady here who has a headache and she has a migraine headache -- all the screaming has been very bad for her. >> i am so sorry. i won't scream. i was planning on -- i was really excited to be here with jimmy. i was going to give a screech. >> jimmy: you're feeling better now? just go along with us. you were supposed to be here with the whole cast last year but at the last minute something happened. you weren't able to come. >> i'm sorry. i'm a huge fan, jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, thank you. >> it really hurt me i couldn't come out here. it was literally a pain in my mouth.
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my wisdom tooth finally kind of emerged. i'd been doing press. i was sitting there kind of like this, doing a lot of my interviews and eventual little -- i can't do it, man. i had to go to the doctor, have it ripped out of my face and -- yeah. >> jimmy: was it bad? >> it was bad. it was completely out and the doctor was like, oh, this isn't too bad. just pop it out there. i hate dentists. i hadn't been there in five years. >> jimmy: well, that's probably while you hate them. >> yeah. but i actually -- i brought one. i brought the tooth for you. >> jimmy: oh, thank you. really? [ applause ] oh, look at that. >> i wanted to prove to you that this is -- >> jimmy: this is a vampire tooth! if it pokes me i can be among the undead. this is -- i will cherish this. can i -- can i sell this on ebay? >> yes. >> jimmy: yes? >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: you've been all over promoting the movie. where have you been in the last week?
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>> oh, man, it's been insane. i was in madrid, in spain, which is beautiful. i was in rome in italy, my mother's favorite country. and that was beautiful. you can see all the history. >> jimmy: that's nice. do you get to go do anything while you're there? >> you just zip through. we had 30 minutes to see the coliseum. 30 minutes. >> jimmy: that's enough. >> yeah. really. i saw the entire thing, got the entire history lesson. it was beautiful. >> jimmy: you're in a band, too, i know. [ applause ] >> hey, thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: popular band, apparently. >> wow. >> jimmy: there's a woman with a headache here! [ cheers and applause ] >> calm down. >> jimmy: well, you go on the road with the band? do you travel around with them, too? >> yeah, we travel all the time. we've been on a couple tours now. we're about to head to europe for our first european tour, november 26th and it's -- it's wild, man. it's completely different than doing the press for the films.
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the press for the films, that's kind of luxurious, they put us up in these nice low iho. it's nice. with the band, it's staying in motel 6s. >> jimmy: is it really? >> it's pretty gnarly. bar and i'm kind of a whiskey guy and there's -- [ applause ] we got some whiskey screamers. yeah, i love it. but we were in this bar in gainesville, florida, it was called mother's whiskey bar and this guy, the server had a shirt that said "mother's whiskey boy." i was like, oh, i want that. that's nice. i asked him, how much is the shirt? he's like, oh, you can't buy it. you have to do a 14-shot whiskey challenge. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> most people have a week to do this. i'm like, oh, 14 shots in a week, that's nothing. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but i -- after the show i -- my buddy ben and i went to the bar and we had 30 minutes. 30 minutes to do 14 shots. >> jimmy: and? >> well, there's the 18 year,
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the 12 year and there's that dirty jack shot, you know. so, we're about five left into it and that's kind of when everything faded away? [ laughter ] is that how you put it? something you just -- don't remember anything, except waking up in a dark alley in the rain. >> jimmy: did you really wake up in the rain? >> i woke up in the rain. i was freezing, sitting there shivering. woke up -- where am i? what's happening? why am i wet? okay. and then i called my friend on my phone, which i cracked, nice new brand new crack in it. >> jimmy: nice. >> i call my tour manager, i'm stuck in this dark alley, i have no idea where ben is, i don't know what's happening. >> jimmy: sben your buddy -- >> no idea where he is. hangover moment. [ laughter ] so we, my buddy picks me up, takes me back to the hotel. i sleep it off in the car. because they won't let me in the hotel room. they're like, well, you deserve to sleep in the car, you
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bastard. [ laughter ] so, i'm -- i wake up the next morning, everybody is so angry at us. we still don't know where ben is. we have no idea where he is. and i'm apologizing, i'm, you know, praying, you know, please, let us find ben. and finally we get this call from a pay phone and some motel down the street. we go to pick him up and everybody is so angry, everybody's pissed off. he runs out with a big old smile on his face. he's like, we got the shirts, man. we got them. we did the challenge. >> jimmy: which one of these guys is ben? >> that's him. that's him right there. >> jimmy: yeah. i would have guessed that. >> who is the guy in the middle? >> this, ladies and gentlemen, this is master lawrence abrams. also referred to as uncle larry. uncle larry, yeah. >> jimmy: how did -- whose uncle is he in this group, because --
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how did he wind up with you? >> well, i mean -- >> jimmy: he looks a little older than you. >> just a little. well, basically, you know, lawrence came to us, he calls himself uncle larry, because it stands for, u.l., universal love, as he says. and he's just one of those games that's so amazing. sage wisdom, that amazing advice. >> jimmy: what has he -- what advice has he given you? >> never do a 14-shot whiskey challenge while in the middle of a tour. unfortunately, that advice came a little late. >> jimmy: well, yeah. well, congratulations on all your success. what's the name of your band? we haven't mentioned of the band. >> 100 monkeys. >> jimmy: 100 monkeys. jackson rathbone, everybody. "the twilight saga: breaking dawn part one" opens friday. we'll be right back with miranda lambert.
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♪ i cut my bangs with some rusty kitchen scissors i screamed his name til' the neighbors called the cops ♪ ♪ i numbed the pain at the expense of my liver don't know what i did next all i know i couldn't stop ♪ ♪ word got around to the bar flies and the baptists my mama's phone started ringing off the hook ♪ ♪ i can hear her now saying she ain't gonna have it don't matter how you feel ♪ ♪ it only matters how you look go and fix your makeup girl it's just a breakup ♪ ♪ run and hide your crazy and start acting like a lady cuz' i raised you better gotta keep it together ♪ ♪ even when you fall apart but this ain't my mama's broken heart ♪
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♪ wish i could be just a little less dramatic like a kennedy when camelot went down in flames ♪ ♪ leave it to me to be holding the matches when the fire trucks show up ♪ ♪ and there's nobody else to blame can't get revenge and keep spotless reputation ♪ ♪ sometimes revenge is the choice you gotta make my mama came from a softer generation ♪ ♪ where you get a grip and bite your lip just to save a little face ♪ ♪ go and fix your makeup girl it's just a breakup run and hide your crazy ♪ ♪ and start acting like a lady cuz' i raised you better ♪ ♪ gotta keep it together even when you fall apart but this ain't my mama's broken heart ♪ ♪ powder your nose
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