tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC December 21, 2011 12:00am-1:05am PST
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remember, "good morning america." we're always online at abcnews.com. jimmy kimmel is next. good night. >> dicky: tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- "the x factor jud" judges. >> jimmy: we really don't know what to happen when it rains in l.a. we drive like gary busey talks. >> dicky: anna faris. and music from the kooks. >> jimmy: done anything naughty this year? >> nope. >> jimmy: nothing? i'm going to put down lies.
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- "the x factor" judges. anna faris. and music from the kooks. with cleto and the cletones. and now, what do you know? here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome. thank you, cleto. hi, everybody. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. please don't challenge me on that. i appreciate that. thank you for watching and thank
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you for joining us here on this fine winter's eve. thanks for braving the elements to be here. you know, steve guttenberg got a star on the hollywood walk of fame outside today. and it rained all day. [ laughter ] you think that's a coincidence? let me tell you something. we don't know -- we really don't know what to do when it rains in l.a. when it rains, we drive like gary busey talks, it's a mess. and we are totally unprepared. people were ordering mai-ti is at lunch today just to get the little umbrellas. someone alerted me to this via twitter. on the local nba station in denver, the weatherman was standing outside in the cold where weathermen stand. i don't know if his jaw froze or maybe he's lonely or what but this happened. >> and there is a chance for snow on friday. that does not look like a great chance at this point so we'll keep you posted as the week goes on. we'll toss it back to you guys.
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and erin, congratulations on your big hooters -- wow, that was a slip of the tongue. >> jimmy: maybe that's why they won't let him in. [ applause ] that's why they keep him in the alley. "rudolph the red-nosed reindeer" was on the other night. that's still a good one. it teaches children it's okay to be different. as long as something on your face can be used as a beacon. [ laughter ] and the story is still relevant. but we've seen it and sung that song so many times, i feel like it's lost some of its impact. so, tonight, we've updated the most famous reindeer of all, by combining the video from the cartoon with audio from this weekend's "dr. drew's celebrity rehab." and now it has a message that i think is a lot more current. >> it's been two years since i've been on "celebrity rehab." and i thought that having kids was going to be what cleaned me up. but that's not the case.
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i still have that obsessive compulsive behavior to want to use. and eventually, it got the worst it's ever been. i lost all sense of reality. i got up to doing a quarter ounce of owe cocaine a day. i've had the worst addicts in the world tell me, dude you do too much, you know? my brain would go, cocaine, cocaine, cocaine, cocaine. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's why his nose is read. heavy drug use. you're here on a good night with the kooks and anna faris and we have all four judges from "the x factor." l.a. reed, paula abdul and simon cowell. the last episode last week ended in tears, a lot of tears. they eliminated a 13-year-old girl named rachel. she was crying. judges started crying. everyone's crying. people were booing. and i want to get to the bottom of that tonight. but first, and speaking of
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crying, last week, i issued a challenge. i asked the parents of america to pull a little holiday trick on their children. we did this on halloween with candy and got a lot of response to it. so we did it again. this time for christmas. i asked parents to tell their kids they were going to let them open one present a few weeks early. instead a good present, i said put something the kids won't like in the box and then upload a video of that to youtube labeled, "hey, jimmy kimmel, i gave my kid as terrible present." and a lot of people did do this. they did give their kids terrible presents. and a lot of the kids, surprisingly, reacted poorly to that. >> what did you -- what did you get, charlie? >> i don't like this. >> oh. what is it? >> an old banana. >> an old banana? isn't that exciting? >> no. what are you doing? >> squeezing it. >> wow.
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a battery and an onion. what's wrong? >> i don't want an onion. >> did you smell your onion? here, smell it. >> no, i smelled it. >> open it. >> a hot dog. >> what is that? >> i got a girl activity book with stickers. i'm not a girl. >> i'm not a boy. >> i'm not a boy either. >> this is the worst christmas ever. >> what is this? >> marissa, what do you tell me all the time about my cooking? >> i love it. >> you love my cooking. so i made you something. >> why does the sandwich look like that? >> you should appreciate --
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>> i appreciate her doing that but i didn't know it would be like that. a sandwich. i love your cooking when you cook, like, dinners. like hot pockets or buffalo wings. something like that. not just a sandwich. and why would you eat off of it? >> marissa, you don't want that peanut butter and jelly sandwich? >> i'll eat it! i'll eat it! >> open it up. you don't want that for christmas? >> you stinking parents! take this back. >> take it back where? this is yours. >> i want a refund! >> it's a half-eaten sandwich. isn't that what you asked for? >> no.
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i asked for a toy. >> what did you say about santa? >> he put me on the naughty list. >> why? >> because you gave me a stupid hello kitty -- >> what did you get, jason? >> some black beans, cheese and a waffle house ad. what did you get? >> a potato. >> oh, you got a mr. potato head. that's from santa. >> no, santa did not have no thing. i saw you get it out of the car in the garage. that's not from santa claus. >> are you upset? >> uh-huh. >> you stupid parents! i hate you! i hate you all! >> what? i got -- >> that was your great grandpa's.
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>> i got ponies? >> what's wrong? you're not excited about your presents? >> i got ponies. they're for girls. >> mine is a stupid book. >> we thought really hard about what to get you this year. >> well, you didn't do a very good job. [ laughter ] >> it's the worst christmas i ever had. >> a stapler? >> what did you get? >> a cookbook. >> what did you get? >> i don't know. >> it's an invisible fence for your dog. >> this is a dumb joke. >> well, jimmy kimmel told me to do it. >> well, tell him to suck my balls. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: noted.
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if santa gives that kid anything, he's fired. he's done. he'll have no credibility anymore. you know, holidays are a very busy time. especially for santa claus. well, you saw there, he's got so many kids to keep track of. even santa can't do that alone. so every year, my cousin sal and i help him out by dressing up as elves and interviewing children to find out who's been naughty and who's been nice. this year we found out. >> elf jimmy this is catcher. >> jimmy: have a seat. what is your name? >> catcher. >> jimmy: catcher? how do you spell it? >> c-a-t-c-h-e-r. >> jimmy: oh, boy. i hope you go to a private school. >> put your hand on the bible, please. do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you god? >> sure. >> jimmy: okay, very good. how old are you, catcher? >> 4 1/2. >> jimmy: 4 1/2 years old? have you been good this year?
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>> yes. >> jimmy: tell me three good things you've done this year. do you clean up the house? i'll put that down. >> yes. >> jimmy: okay. do you play nicely with others? >> ah, yes. >> jimmy: okay. are you clean? do you take showers and stuff? >> no, baths. >> jimmy: baths. okay, that's good. have you done anything naughty this year? >> no. >> jimmy: nothing? the whole year? nothing naughty? i'm going to put down lies. what would you like for christmas this year? >> smoky the fire truck. >> jimmy: smoky the fire truck, okay. >> hungry hungry hippos. >> jimmy: hungry hungry hippos, oh. what year is this? tlair overrated, but if you want it, i'll put it down. catcher, part of what we do here is, we talk to kids like yourself, we talk about you, we hear what you want for christmas. and then we like to hear about what some other kids are up to.
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so, um, who is the naughtiest kid you know? >> i know kids that are good. >> jimmy: you know kids that are good? okay. tell me their names. >> laney. >> jimmy: laney? okay. >> lola. >> jimmy: lola. >> emily. >> jimmy: emily. quite a player, aren't you? >> rebecca. >> jimmy: rebecca? okay. who else? >> i know one kid who's naughty. >> jimmy: you know a kid who's naughty? >> yes. >> this is what we need to hear. >> raquel. >> jimmy: tell us about raquel. >> she's saying mean stuff to her friends. she's not saying please. >> jimmy: she doesn't say please? never? >> she says now. >> jimmy: oh. now. no pleases. what else does she do? remember, the more bad stuff you tell us about raquel, the more good stuff you get from santa. >> she says, "put it down right now." >> jimmy: put it down right now.
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i mean, you have to be good to get toys for christmas. i mean, it's a really simple thing. right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and raquel doesn't learn. maybe we should have her arrested. >> she can spend christmas in jail. >> okay. whatever you want. >> jimmy: what do you want to be when you grow up? >> a policeman. >> jimmy: i think that's a good choice. >> perfect. >> jimmy: very good to meet you, catcher. we have your name. we have the items you'd like. and we're going to talk -- >> and i want something else. >> jimmy: oh. okay. >> a race car track. the other one that's mine is broken. it doesn't even move. only a little bit. >> jimmy: we build toys, we don't do repairs. you have to send stuff back to china for that. merry christmas. >> jimmy: we have a good show for you tonight. anna faris is here. we have music from the kooks. we'll be right back with all the
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judges from "the x factor." simon, paula, nicole and l.a. reid, so stick around. it's so nice to spend time, just you and me. i know. this is great. you know, i feel like... did you just check the game on your phone? what? no! what am i, like some kind of summoner who can just summon footage to his phone like that? come on. i guess i'm just a little... [ grunts ] oversensitive. it's just that you and i -- yes! [ male announcer ] only at&t's network lets your iphone download 3x faster. at&t. well, this necklace is awesome. honey, you're getting a necklace! see what i mean? i'll surprise you. please. [ male announcer ] the only place to go for last-minute christmas gifts.
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♪ hark how the bells, sweet silver bells, all seem to say, ♪dong ♪ throw cares away, christmas is here, bringing good cheer, ♪ ♪ to young and old, meek and the bold, ding dong ding, dong, ♪ ♪ that is their song, with joyful ring, all caroling, ♪ ♪ one seems to hear, words of good cheer, from everywhere, ♪ ♪ filling the air, oh how they pound, raising the sound, ♪
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♪ o'er hill and dale, telling their tale, gaily they ring, ♪ ♪ while people sing, songs of good cheer, christmas is here. ♪ ♪ merry, merry, merry, merry christmas ♪ [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] making spirits bright! [ female announcer ] cheers to you, mr. kangaroo. go-to... [ male announcer ] unsilent night. [ female announcer ] never the wrong time for the right wine. [ male announcer ] yellow tail. the go-to. ♪ [ male announcer ] there are over half a million apps and counting on the iphone. apps that can take you anywhere and do anything. you might say there's no limit to what this amazing device can do. so the question to ask is -- why would anyone want to limit the iphone? [ phone beeping ]
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and then, a terrific band with music from this, their latest album, "junk of the heart," the kooks from the bud light stage. tomorrow night, we'll be joined by josh holloway, molly sims and we'll have music from death cab for cue cutie. and later this week robert downey jr., kathy griffin, jamie bell, and music from young jeezy and lenny kravitz. so join us then. our first guests represent the most formidable assembly of mentors and assessors of talent in television today. you can hear them talking backstage. watch them on "the x-factor," at 8:00 wednesdays and thursdays fox. please welcome simon cowell, paula abdul, nicole scherzinger, and l.a. reid. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: thank you for coming. what were you guys talking about back there because we could all hear you kind of out here? >> oh, i just said to l.a. because he hasn't done one of these shows before, is that the worst that can happen is you humiliate yourself in front of millions of people. >> jimmy: l.a., i feel in a way you've done that already and i'm going to tell you why. >> really? i like how this is started. >> i like this. >> jimmy: i was very angry last week as i was watching the show and i watched the end of the show. now, for those who have not seen the show, there was a 13-year-old girl named rachel who simon was mentoring. >> a young 13-year-old. >> jimmy: a young 13-year-old. very sweet girl. >> that's different. >> jimmy: phenomenally talented. like almost super naturally talented. >> i totally agree. >> jimmy: l.a. is mentoring a guy named marcus who is very talented but not even in the same ballpark. >> an older and more secure -- >> jimmy: thank you, simon. [ laughter ] >> and you believe this? >> jimmy: it comes time to judge. not only i believe this, i
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concocted this all myself. i have these feelings. comes time for judging. they go to l.a. and he says, i'm a man of principle. now, to me, a man of principle would pick the guy, the person he thought was the better singer. l.a. picks his own guy, marcus. >> that's the principle. >> jimmy: principle, shminciple. [ laughter ] simon -- >> okay this is good. >> jimmy: picks rachel. paula picks rachel. and then nicole -- who, i think, nicole, i have to say, i think you were traumatized by "dancing with the stars," because you do not want to weigh in on -- you don't want to make anyone unhappy. if you could, you'd make everybody win this thing. nicole decide to let it go to a death -- you picked marcus. so that somebody else, true, could decide for you, is that really -- >> well, america, it would be america's vote. >> jimmy: so america would decide. >> yes. >> jimmy: and america -- stupid america. >> decided marcus. >> jimmy: we make the dumbest decisions, and we pick marcus.
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coincidentally, i think rachel had an off-night the night before -- >> i agree. >> jimmy: and that's what america voted on, based on that off-night. >> i agree. >> jimmy: and it was a travesty. there was crying. >> i think it was worse than a travesty. >> jimmy: i agree with you. let's take a look at the aftermath of this decision. >> rachel crow. congratulations, marcus, we'll see you in the semifinal. off you go. >> it's okay, baby. >> it's okay. >> mommy -- >> nicole, is there anything you want to say? [ crowd booing ] nope. >> jimmy: wow. that was bad. >> wow. >> jimmy: great television but -- >> it was even worse than i remember. >> jimmy: it was really -- i couldn't believe it as i was watching it. now, paula, on tmz, there was
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video today in which it appeared that you encouraged nicole to let it go to the deadlock. is that true? >> that's not how -- that's how they interpreted it. >> i definitely encouraged it for the record. >> jimmy: yeah, well, we know what you did. [ laughter ] >> no, the thing is -- i adore this girl. i know what she was feeling. she turned -- well, you know, you can say what -- >> you know, it's crazy because in the moment and under pressure, you just kind of -- it's not as easy to just be like, hey, this is what i'm going to do and you're going home, and you have to say, i'm sending you home. and, you know, i own the decision that i made right then. and, you know, i'm really happy for rachel, because i think she has a deal with disney now and -- >> jimmy: she's happy now. it all worked out i guess. >> the thing is, a week prior, i had the devil -- [ laughter ]
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honesly, i didn't -- i didn't -- there was -- >> fantastically uncomfortable, by the way. >> public was made because i didn't let it go to deadlock. he was evil, and -- >> jimmy: do you feel like you gained up on simon's contestant specifically because you want to win this competition? >> no. >> no. >> absolutely not. >> jimmy: paula's, yours deserved to go. both of yours deserved to go. >> what? >> jimmy: i felt they deserved to go. sorry. [ laughter ] >> i like you. >> jimmy: america has voted. paula abdul has eliminated herself from the competition tonight. paula, come back here. please. [ applause ] nothing against you. listen, you know, we have to pick somebody. >> stay, stay, stay. >> jimmy: what's going on between you two? there's got to be something. there's got to be -- something
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has had to happen between you two sexually. please tell me. [ laughter ] >> that would be -- he's a selfish lover. he'd be calling his own name out. >> jimmy: how do you know he's a selfish lover? >> i can only imagine. >> i thought about it but then i'd have to talk to her afterwards. [ laughter ] it would be uncomfortable. >> okay, you know -- [ applause ] stop it. >> no, but it would be. >> foreplay for you is staring at your own baby picture. >> how did you know that? >> i can only imagine. >> jimmy: that's a multilayered joke. are you guys getting along as a group? >> amazing! [ laughter ] >> as long as i'm winning. >> jimmy: as long as you're winning. and you're going to make sure you win, even if you have to pick the weakest contestant to win this thing, l.a. >> oh, please. at least america and i agree, right? >> jimmy: i guess america -- i guess you could say that. america did vote. they did vote. >> you know what, jimmy?
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>> jimmy: yeah? >> it all starts again this week. >> jimmy: it does. >> clean sheet. there won't be that nonsense. >> jimmy: but simon and paula, you guys both -- you don't have contestants in this now. >> he doesn't. >> no, i do, i've got one. i've got melanie. >> jimmy: okay. >> yeah. i think she's going to win. >> jimmy: you do think -- >> i really, really do. >> jimmy: of course. everybody thinks their contestant is going to win. >> i think mine that you don't think deserves to be there are coming back just to hijack it. >> jimmy: that seems unlikely to me. i don't know if that's going to happen. >> anything is possible. >> jimmy: i know simon is the boss and do you respect him like one would respect the boss? >> on evidence, no. >> jimmy: yeah, it would seem not. but i think -- maybe, is this, does this gone on, on-camera, behind the scenes. yes, simon, certainly, simon, whatever you say, simon? >> absolutely not. particularly with these two. you can't ask them to do anything. >> we don't know the -- >> jimmy: you guys have known each other for a long time, haven't you? >> many years. >> jimmy: how long have you known each other? >> when did we meet, 15 years ago?
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>> about 15 years ago, yeah. >> jimmy: professional rivals. >> sort of. >> jimmy: sort of? >> we worked for the same company. then we were in opposition with each other. he was a nightmare. so i thought it made sense that the two of us worked on the same show together. >> and other two nightmares worked together. >> jimmy: and nicole and paula, nicole, you, true, idolized paula as a kid, yes? >> i idolize her now. >> i absolutely did. i was kind of obsessed with her. on "knocked out," the song that you wrote. i still am. i had, like, the whole nightgown, the trapper cooper, the -- >> the what keeper? >> trapper keeper. there was a paula abdul trapper keeper. the thing at school. velcro and -- >> jimmy: we've got to get paula a trapper keeper. [ applause ] you don't know what a trapper keeper is either? you're from a different country. did you go to school? >> i'm from a different country. apparently. >> i like the new jimmy. you got very feisty.
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>> jimmy: i just got angry watching the show the other night. i really did. i turned into you, simon. >> you're mad at me. >> jimmy: i am mad at you. you destroyed a 13-year-old girl for your own gain! >> i did not. >> jimmy: all right, we're going to take a break here. "the x factor," wednesday and thursday nights on fox. we'll be right back. i take an omega for my heart. but to be honest, i find the omega choices overwhelming. which one is right for me? then i found new pronutrients omega-3. it's from centrum, a name i trust. it goes beyond my heart to support my brain and eyes too. and these ultra-concentrated minigels are much smaller than many others. it's part of a whole new line of supplements. there's probiotic and fruit & veggie too. new pronutrients from centrum helps make nutrition possible.
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"the x factor" is about singing. but judge l.a. reid is about dancing. chair dancing. and now you can learn all his moves kw "l.a. reid's moves." you'll learn the bobble head. the pitch and catch. the stinky. the finger wag. the six shooter. the head fake. the hallelujah. the miami in a box. the tater stomp. the tissue push. and the flickoff. each dvd comes with a step-by-step instruction booklet that will have you chair dancing in no time. buy l.a. reid's chair dancin' for $19.45 and wipe it down with a simon cowell towel absolutely free. call today! >> available at walgreens. >> jimmy: there you go. simon, paula, nicole and l.a. are here. l.a., i'm glad to see you making some money off of this thing. >> that is me. i love that. >> my favorite is the bobble head.
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>> jimmy: i'm a man of principle, what are you going to do? >> i like the stinky. >> jimmy: what's the plan for the holidays? will you guys exchange gifts? is there some sort of plan for that? >> no. >> jimmy: no? >> why did you ask me? knowing him for ten years. gifts? >> jimmy: no gifts ever from simon? >> he did give us -- >> the gift of friendship. >> paula, he did give us -- >> i decided to buy a set of those boxes and give them to each. >> a framed picture of his face. a token of my gratitude. >> a small token of my gratitude. >> jimmy: that's very thoughtful. >> and make sure we have to have them up in our dressing room. >> jimmy: speaking of dressing rooms, i heard simon has an aluminum mansion of some kind. like a trailer, like will smith had in the middle of times square, his trailer, three of them would fit in yours. >> yeah, it was too big in new york but too small in los angeles. >> jimmy: how big is your
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trailer? >> it's really big. >> big. >> jimmy: like how many square feet? >> it's enormous, jimmy. >> jimmy: how about you guys, do you have trailers? >> folding chair. >> jimmy: folding chair next to the bathroom? >> yes. >> jimmy: does simon let you visit his trailer? and come hang out? >> when he summons us. >> jimmy: you summon? >> we have a tourist thing. they come around and i let them go on the tourist bus and they can comb inside with that. >> i call it going to the principal's office. >> jimmy: does it feel like that? oh, it does, really? >> i have a nice dressing room. it's not as big but i don't have to compensate for anything. [ laughter ] >> oh, i heard that. >> jimmy: sounds like things are going swimmingly between you. what's going on with that guy who hosts the show? what is that story? can we send him back to england too? i mean, really? >> what's going on? >> jimmy: i feel like a grinch
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this christmas. my heart has shrunk many sizes. but it will come back, eventually. >> you have changed. >> jimmy: you have changed? >> there's a difference. i like you more. >> jimmy: oh, you do? okay good. you might be the only one. well, thank you so much for coming. simon, paula, nicole and l.a. reid, the judges from "the x factor." watch it wednesday and thursday nights, 8:00 on fox. we'll be right back with anna faris. do your lashes want volume or length? how about both? with covergirl lashblast fusion.
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pillsbury holiday star cookies start with pillsbury cookie dough easy. then add my own favorite frosting and sprinkles. just three ingredients to sweet memories. holiday ideas made easy. mmm... pillsbury crescent wrapped brie just unroll, wrap the brie and bake. it's so easy. now this might even impress aunt martha. pillsbury crescent wrapped brie. holiday ideas made easy.
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vfor the ones that dab, the ones wrong who smear,r king.t wine. the ones who spread them everywhere. for the late night cravers to the oddball eaters, the handful stuffers and the tiny biters. thicker cut for more flavor. new fries from burger king. ornyou're a miracle workerful sabrina soto.. [sfx: doorbell rings] and you can mix your seasonal pieces with your everyday china. [sfx: knocking on door] and now you need to hide. oh, i love the mercury glass pieces on the mantel, we could put some evergreen pieces... you know a simple touch like adding. oh, i think we should quickly decorate the hallway, wouldn't that be fun?
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>> jimmy: hi there, we're back. still to come, the kooks. you know our next guest from "lost in translation," "brokeback mountain," "the house bunny," and all four of the "scary movie" series which, i believe, made her an honorary wayans brother. her latest is called "alvin and the chipmunks: chipwrecked." >> whoa! >> mine! >> stop it, stop it, stop it! look at us. one day on this island and we've become animals! >> jimmy: that's her right there. it opens in theaters friday. please welcome anna faris. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: you look great. thank you for coming. it's very good to have you. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: it's my pleasure. it was your birthday a week and a half ago. >> yes, yes, it was. >> jimmy: happy birthday. >> thank you. [ applause ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: we all have them. did you have a big party? >> we had a huge party. i decided to do -- sort of do it right. usually, i'm in denial about my birthday. it comes -- it's november 29th, so it's right after thanksgiving. >> jimmy: right. >> everyone's tired and grumpy and nobody wants to celebrate. so -- but this year, i was like, you know, i want to have a big party. so we had a big party up in washington state, which is where i grew up, with my husband and i. >> jimmy: nice. >> yeah, i love it. really? anyway -- >> jimmy: they just like states. [ laughter ] >> but -- and there was drama.
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>> jimmy: oh, there was? >> there was drama. there was a little drama right on the dance floor. >> jimmy: on the dance floor? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what happened? >> well, my two cousins were all the same age. and -- which is 17. >> jimmy: what are the cousins names? can you tell me their names? just their first names. >> i can tell you. they might be mad at me. but lauren and cannon. >> jimmy: lauren and cannon. okay, all right. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: they sound like catalog models. >> yeah. and they're big, like, washingtonian dudes. everyone up there is pretty hefty. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you mean sturdy when you say that? >> yeah, yeah, they're all tall, and, you nope, they're wilderness men. >> jimmy: right. >> anyway, so my cousin lauren told my other cousin -- and i'll use gentler language than what was actually happening.
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but pansy-ass mama's boy. >> jimmy: oh. >> yeah. and so my other cousin grabbed him by the tie -- >> jimmy: by the tie? >> the tie, punched him in the head. and -- at the time, we had hired a photographer, who thought that it was kind of a sweet sentimental family reunion moment, like everyone was sort of hugging each other. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> we have these photos of my cousins getting into a fight. oh, priceless. she thought it was -- because there was a moment where it looked like they may be hugging, but -- >> jimmy: who was the mama's boy, lauren or cannon? >> cannon. >> jimmy: was cannon's mother there? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: what did she do? >> it's not looking good. >> jimmy: really? >> i think everything's okay now. but my mom got involved, because -- [ laughter ] yeah, yeah, my mom, bless her
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little angel heart -- i know she's watching -- she -- she decided to get involved because she thought that cannon -- she thought -- i don't know why she thought to get involved, but my husband's brother is a cop. and he, like, zoomed in, broke everything up right away. >> jimmy: good. >> and my mom thought that -- >> jimmy: he was joining the fight? >> yes. >> jimmy: i see. >> so, she started attacking him. >> jimmy: took his gun and shot him with it? >> pounding on his chest. like, you know -- >> jimmy: wow, this sounds like something you'd see in a movie. this isn't it sound like a is real family -- >> they're going to be so mad at me. >> jimmy: then blew out the candles? >> yes. >> jimmy: what's the worst they're going to do? grab you by the tie and punch you? wow. are lauren and cannon, will they be invited to the next birthday party? >> well, i hope so. i wouldn't mind, like -- yeah, of course. you can't, like, pay for entertainment better than that, you know? >> jimmy: you're right.
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better than a d.j., that's for sure. and your husband, for those who don't know, your husband chris is on the show "parks and recreation." >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what did he get you for your birthday? >> he -- my husband bought me a compound bow, which is, like a -- it's a weapon. it's like one of those -- >> jimmy: a cross bow? really? >> it's like a full-on -- yeah. >> jimmy: to protect you against your cousins? [ laughter ] just for, like, fun or for, like, hunting? >> i think he has this fantasy that some day i'm just going to kill like a big buck and i'll be, like, the woman of his dreams. >> jimmy: so he's a hunter? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: so he bought you a gift -- he essentially bought himself a gift for you. >> exactly. >> jimmy: do you do that to him? >> a little bit. i -- yeah, i guess, a little bit. i get him sort of home decor things.
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i have this fantasy of turning our home into like a natural history museum. >> jimmy: what? [ laughter ] like, with dioramas of native americans and that sort of thing? >> i like -- we've got a lot of like dg geods and, like, you know, weird sort of skeletons and deer heads. i bought him a cat skeleton. >> jimmy: oh, that's nice. >> i know. turns out i'm a lot weirder than anybody -- >> yeah, well -- [ applause ] it just occurred to me because -- do alvin and the chipmunks know that you're buying dead rodents and -- >> and eating them? >> jimmy: and such? yes. >> so, my husband has this steadfast rule. anything he kills, he must eat. >> jimmy: wow. >> like part of his hunter philosophy. >> jimmy: i see. okay, well, yeah. >> so we've been eating squirrel.
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>> jimmy: you've been eating squirrels? oh. >> have you ever had a squirrel? >> jimmy: i have not had the good fortune to enjoy a squirrel. and? any good? >> it's so disgusting. >> jimmy: i've heard it's not good. >> it's so disgusting. it couldn't be more -- it's, like, gamey but also covered in a thick layer of greasy, like -- >> jimmy: again, not going to endear you to the chipmunk community. >> no, i know. i know. i know. i've never -- i haven't had chipmunk yet but i'm open, i'm open. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, sounds like you guys are creating quite a little home for yourselves there. >> you have to come over! come for a squirrel thanksgiving. >> jimmy: i would love to. squirrels and fist fights. it sounds like a lot of fun. it's great to see you. again, the movie is called "alvin and the chipmunks." it opened friday. "chipwrecked." are you singing on this soundtrack? >> yes! >> jimmy: there it is. we'll be right back with music from the kooks.
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>> jimmy: this is their new album, it's called "junk of the heart." here with the song "how do you like that," the kooks! ♪ ♪ well i was sleeping only in my head slipping in and out of time and i was lifting ♪ ♪ always higher and the women of heaven sang they were singing how d'you like that ♪ ♪ how d'you like that how d'you like that
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how d'you like that how d'you like that ♪ ♪ how d'you like that i like it how d'you like that how d'you like that ♪ ♪ how d'you like that it lifts me up what better time to take a ride with you ♪ ♪ through the universe tonight the look of sound looks much like your face and the symphony that help ♪ ♪ me sing they were singing how d'you like that how d'you like that how d'you like that ♪ ♪ how d'you like that how d'you like that how d'you like that i liked it ♪ ♪ how d'you like that how d'you like that how d'you like that i only just let go ♪
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♪ >> jimmy: i want to thank simon, paula, nicole and l.a. reid and anna faris. i want to apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. tomorrow night josh holloway, molly sims and music from death cab for cutie. this is their new album. it's called "junk of heart." playing us off the air with the song of the same name, once again, the kooks. good night! ♪
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♪ junk of the heart is junk in my mind so hard to leave you all alone we get so drunk ♪ ♪ that we can hardly see what use is that to you or me baby ♪ ♪ still i notice nothing makes you ♪ ♪ shatter no no ♪ ♪ you're a lover of the wild and a joker of the heart but are you mine ♪ ♪ i wanna make you happy i wanna make you feel alive let me make you happy i wanna make you feel ♪ ♪ alive at night i wanna make you happy are you a good girl through the
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