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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  May 4, 2012 12:00am-1:05am PDT

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an. thank you for watching abc news. we hope you'll check in for "good morning america." from all of us at abc news good night america. jimmy kimmel, next. tonight on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> happy cinco demy owe, everybody. >> between the super bowl and the 4th of july we would have no reason to get drunk. so -- gracias. >> scarlett johansson. >> i'll show you my thigh hold later on. >> good night. >> roger daltrey. and "unnecessary censorship." >> cheryl, tony and louie will
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>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a word about mexico, one of the world's premiere vacation destinations now located direct little south of us. saturday is cinco de mayo and here in los angeles, we celebrate at the cinco de mayo mixologist contest at the new lounge called mixology 101. the best bartenders in l.a. are invited to compete for a trip to mexico by making the best cinco de mayo cocktail. right now, guillermo preparing for the competition in our red, white and green room. hello, guillermo. >> hola, jimmy. did you hear cinco de mayo is coming? >> jimmy: what's that? >> do you hear cinco de mayo is coming? >> jimmy: yes, i did. have you come up with a signature cocktail for the competition yet? >> okay, i have a cocktail.
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>> jimmy: no, you're supposed to create a drink. pouring a shot of tequila doesn't count. >> oh, okay. >> jimmy: you understand what i'm saying? >> ta-da! >> jimmy: no, the idea -- mrauls place you need to come up with some kind of a cocktail that celebrates mexico. >> do i look like a bartender? >> jimmy: not really, no. >> well, then mix your own drink, dumbass. >> dicky: the cinco de mayo mixologist contest with a celebrity judge and the lounge's head mixologist takes place at 3:00 p.m. saturday may 5th at mixology 101 in l.a. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with scarlett johansson and music from roger daltrey. ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] when is it okay to lose the cover-up? when you can. take the special k challenge...
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take a step. have a look. explore it all. find your nook. what's your nook? nook tablet. get it at your neighborhood barnes and noble. training's a fulltime job... when you're training to be the best, you gotta eat the best. you gotta try the new smokehouse bbq chicken. [ male announcer ] new from subway. tender, slow-cooked chicken marinated in a sweet n' smoky barbecue sauce. merely 6 grams of fat. better for you and irresistible, too. what a combination! [ male announcer ] hurry in for the new subway smokehouse bbq chicken. very tasty. it's a perfect ten. subway... the official training restaurant of mike lee... nastia liukin... michael phelps and athletes everywhere. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- scarlett johansson. and music from roger daltrey.
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with cleto and the cletones. and now, after all, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. that's very nice. thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming out to visit. we welcome you young and old and i would like to wish each of you a happy tres de mayo. i can't believe it's been almost a year since the last time i threw up in a sombrero. cinco de mayo commemorating the victory of the mexican war.
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and nothing fills the mexican community with pride like white people drinking upside down margaritas at chili's. if it weren't for the irish and the mexicans between the super bowl and the 4th of july we would have no reason to get drunk, so -- gracias, as they say. i want to wish early cinco de mayo to guillermo, who -- where is guillermo? oh. there he is. >> i'm not guillermo, jimmy. for cinco de mayo i've been cinco claus. you better watch out, you better not cry. you better watch out. you better not cry. i'm telling you why. cinco claus is coming to town. he's making a list. he's chequecking it twice. te
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te tequila everybody. sin cope clauscinco claus is coming to town! happy cinco de mayo, everybody! >> jimmy: he's just like santa claus, only intoxicated. not only is it cinco de mayo this weekend i don't know what just happened, either. [ laughter ] it's prom season, too. which is why all the drugstores are running so low on baby's breath and axe body spray. prom night could turn out to be the biggest night of your life assuming you go on to live an exceptionally unremarkable life. they did a study that said families will spend just over $1,000 to send their kid to the prom. which -- that is -- my prom didn't cost -- of course i didn't go, so it was, yeah a lot cheaper, but -- the theme to my prom was "stay home and watch "simon and simon while my mom makes chicken parmesan."
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here's something parents shoubd a should be aware of. heavy marijuana use among teenagers have increased 80% over the last four years, which helps explain the popularity of the band one direction. and the stuffed crust pizza, for that matter. almost 10% of teens say they smoke pot heavy, which is up to 20 times a month. you know the commercials when the mom brings home the sunny d and the kids freak out? i wondered -- this is why, it turns out. [ laughter ] this is -- serious concern because experts say pot smoking can be a gateway that leads to kids experimenting with more serious drugs, like alcohol and cigarettes, so -- might be time to get in that sock drawer and dig, moms you know? this will be a especially funny to teens on pot. it's a video of a pit bull named boomer. boomer has some very definite opinions on what he does and what he does not want to do. >> boomer, you want to go
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outside? you want to take a bath? [ laughter ] you want to go outside? you want to take a bath? >> jimmy: and it goes -- the dogs pretend they don't understand us, but they do. they just do it so they can keep drinking out of the toilet. in the interest of equal time since everything is so part san these days, we have video of a cat keeping a very close eye on a fish. apparently this cat sits and watches this fish every morning. but this day was a little different because on this day, the fish fights back. it's like a -- place mrauls [ applause ] feline version of "rise of the planet of the apes." have you been following the nba playoffs? the los angeles clippers are in the playoffs.
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they played the grizzlies in memphis last night. good game, the grizzlies won it thanks to a lot of extra effort from marc gasol. watch him dive out of bounds for this loose ball. >> big gasol going into the stands. watch out, little fella, you don't want to get run over by that big grizzly. >> jimmy: let's see if we can get a little closer and watch that again. [ laughter ] . he's got the peace sign. and that is a -- [ applause ] a clear back court violation. watched it now 30 times, i can't figure out what he was trying to do. maybe tries to stress the importance of getting a regular prostate exam? one of the most anticipated movies of the year, maybe of the decade comes out tomorrow. it's marvel's "the avenge earlravengers." it's all the super heroes
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gathered together. and it's nice -- it's kind of cool to see all the characters responsible for my virginity together in one film. are you going to see it? [ applause ] i saw it already. it's great. in case you are wondering, the hulk does indeed smash. right outside our theater, we're very fortunate to have some costume characters of our own. they stand out there all day taking pictures posing for tourists and what not. in a way i feel like they are my own personal avengers. today, i asked them to gather and i gave them a mission. you know, the one area these super hereo movies forget about is merchandising. so, i asked our avengers to do what they do best, and that is assemble. ajengvenger avengers. i've asked you to assemble because we have a problem. there isn't enough avengers her
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chan merchandise. so, today, i would like you to design your own avengers t-shirt. you understand? get to work. sea sea seacrest out. >> tell me about your drawing spongebob. >> the sun is doing everything from out of orbit. >> that's just a circle. >> yeah. >> that's pretty good. i like that. it's like about escalator that's going up. >> i'm sorry. what? >> you know -- falling the -- >> i have no idea what you're
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even saying. you know i think there's just a big communication problem between the two of us. and i feel like he's, like a good guy but he's in the wrong country. >> chewbacca is a [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. yes. he's a pain. he's always the time breaking my balls, with his, "i don't know what you're saying." >> spongebob, shut up! ahh! >> what do you think of my drawing so far? >> i think it was dirt on the t-shirt, you know? >> like can you say that one more time? >> i think you have -- >> you look like captain america, but you sound like puss in the books. he's a cat from shrek. >> you have a [ bleep ] with boots. yeah. yeah. i got that. >> i'm still not getting -- >> fight! fight! fight! >> yeah, what i do -- >> hey!
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>> you ruined my art! >> ahh! >> no it's not. >> i can clean my ass with that tonight. look, look, what i think about it. >> you glilter bombed me. without me even knowing it. >> no, no. >> what are you going to do? come on, jack him up. >> i really hope jimmy likes my t-shirt, though captain america ruined it. i hope jimmy sees me for the artist that i'm in. >> i did a 5 for effort. >> i got blue paint on my tooth? oh, [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: all right. ladies and gentlemen, here now, live, to present their t-shirt design, the hollywood boulevard avengers. wow. what a spectacle.
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hello, avengers. you've all worked incredibly hard designing your t-shirts. only one of you will be the winner tonight. we'll begin with you, captain america. reveal your t-shirt design, please. it says "stan lee forever." tell us about the design and what it respects. >> i did it this way because for italy, because i think it's a great writer he create family of marvel you know -- >> jimmy: right. what does the arrow respect? >> the arrow respect, it's in honor for thor. he's not here with us tonight. he's with us tonight. >> jimmy: all right. well, let's move to iron man. thank you, captain america. aaron man, letiron man, let's see your shift. very colorful. very avengers. tell us about the shirt.
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>> i focused on the captain america star and then i featured my friend hulk. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, okay. beautifully done. thank you, iron man. the hulk. let us see your shirt. if you can indeed turn it around with the giant fake hands on. let me help you, hulk. here we go. all right. here we go. all right. all right, hulk. tug us about the design. what were you thinking? and what -- >> well, jimmy -- >> jimmy: yes? >> well -- i don't know what i was doing. i just was feeding off everybody else's energy. >> jimmy: i see. >> and i got kind of creative. so, if you know what a caution sign looks like i tried to make that. >> jimmy: yes, yes.
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you -- >> but as you can see, i can't do anything with these hands. >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. you did a good job despite the loss of your hands. spongebob. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i'm not sure how you got into this group, but -- >> me neither, jimmy. >> jimmy: go ahead and reveal your t-shirt design. i see you are cleaned your tooth. that's good news. tell us about it. >> it was supposed to be like space power with all the super heroes get their muscles and the powers from the gamma rays and so all the orbit and astro moments we have on plan element earth so we can see different colors from eyes and views -- >> jimmy: so, you are saying a lot of thought went into that finger painting mess. >> sure did, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you, spongebob. and finally, chewbacca. show us what you got.
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>> ah it's a t-shirt. >> jimmy: what happened there? you and captain america had some issues. >> yeah. he -- he ruined it, but -- >> jimmy: why did you do that captain america? >> i don't know. it looks better that way. now he's got a big piece of fun. everybody love it. >> jimmy: do you feel that captain america is a little bit of a bully, chewbacca? >> ah -- i mean if i wanted to i guess i could, like claim animal abuse. >> jimmy: yeah. kind of, yeah. >> but technically, i'm not, like, a animal. >> jimmy: no, you are not. >> maybe if i got a dumb worker i could look fool them. >> jimmy: okay, thank you, again. i'm glad you guys are able to work this out. all right. avengers, i want to thank you for your designs, but as i said there can only be one winner, and that winner tonight is -- i'm going with spongebob. spongebob, congratulations!
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>> yay! >> jimmy: anyone you would like to thank, spongebob? [ applause ] spongebob? all right, there they are. the avengers everybody. thank you, thank you all. close them up. it's starting to smell in here. [ cheers and applause ] wow. i feel like at home you can't really get the scent but when you really breathe them in that's when you know they're real heroes. one more thing. it's thursday night, time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> the teams will [ bleep ] our judges when we come back. >> thanks so much for watching on an historic day when newt gingrich [ bleep ] his [ bleep ]. >> you know, that's what joe biden's famous for, putting his [ bleep ] in his mouth. >> she was born with a dispailty that would defeat most people.
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instead, this woman [ bleep ] everyone she meets. >> diana? >> yes. >> is tonight going to be the night you get [ bleep ]? >> oh, my god. >> you have ever -- >> i have not [ bleep ] -- >> have you? >> i [ bleep ] my own [ bleep ]. i have never [ bleep ]. >> you need to embrace each other. hold each other, look into each other's eyes and [ bleep ] that -- get over it. >> all right well lance bass [ bleep ] big [ bleep ]. >> we can be free of [ bleep ], all with the same strategy. >> if you were my friend you wouldn't rub your [ bleep ] in my face. >> i'm not rubbing my [ bleep ] in your face. this is rubbing my [ bleep ] in your face. >> jimmy: we have a good show for you tonight. from the who, roger daltrey is here. and we'll be right back with scarlett johansson, so stick around.
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l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l
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l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l >> jimmy: hi, everyone. tonight on the program, from the who, the patron of the ucla daltrey/townshend teen & young adult cancer program, here to chat and sing on the bud light stage, roger dal freetrey is here with us. we've got a good line up for you next week. on the show, johnny depp kristen stewart, dr. phil, steve harvey, dev patel, chloë grace moretz will be here as will casey wilson, and we'll have music from silversun pickups, b.o.b, glenn frey, and carrie underwood. so, join us then. and also if you watch the show specifically for our announcer >> dicky: >> dicky: dicky barrett his band the mighty mighty bosstones is performing live tomorrow night at the ritz in tampa and on saturday as part of sunfest in west palm beach. [ applause ]
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if he gets there in time, knock on wood. >> dicky: thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: you know what i'm saying? this is fun. we showed some of these last night. there's a game called draw something that will take complete control of your life if you play it. be really careful. it's kind of like pictionary. you do it online with your friends. they give you a choice of three words and you pick one and draw it. one of the words last week was "kimmel" and they sent us some of the artwork that people made trying to tell their -- and some of this art work is unbelievable. this -- me, a lot of guillermo. and -- that's me and you, guillermo. i don't know which is which. there we are in court. that's just guillermo. >> wow. >> jimmy: there's another one, just guillermo. that's lego guillermo. there we are on the set together. that's a really good one, too. there's just guillermo. i like that one a lot. and look at that guillermo strangling me. so, that's fun. now, here's the thing.
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[ applause ] draw something, they just added the word depp to the game and since johnny depp will heebre on tuesday, draw him and then we'll show some of our favorites to the show. you should probably call in sick to work for the next few days so you can focus on this. our first guest tonight is an exceptionally talented woman. you know her from far too many films for me to mention. starting tomorrow, you can see her in very tight clothing alongside iron man, thor, captain america and the hulk in one of the most highly-anticipated supermovies ever, marville's "the avengers." please say hello to scarlett johansson. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you doing? [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm good. hi! >> jimmy: nice to have you here.
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>> thank you. >> jimmy: i'm excited to you have here. you were a very good sport with guillermo last week. >> oh, my god. he just got us all started. we were just -- >> jimmy: especially you. you were the best sport of everyone. we have video of this -- >> oh, dear. >> jimmy: this is from the red carpet. things are pretty formal typically. >> this is for super heroes. >> jimmy: also known as tequila. >> you feel like you have powers? >> after a couple more i might. >> i'll give you more. >> sure. i'll drink it. >> this tastes great. >> another? >> sure, why not? especially now. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: is that -- >> actually at the end of the red carpet all of us were just like super boozy. did you see him on did you -- how many shots? everybody was like, three, four, we were all trashed.
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>> jimmy: roaming little bartender. did that effect your enjoyment of the film? you've had four premieres. >> we had a lot. and we've been trashed at every one. we were in russia, we were in, well we had the premiere here. russia london italy, germany. we've been all over the place. >> jimmy: when they sigh captain america, do they get bummed out? >> the russians like my character probably more than captain america. >> jimmy: i got you. >> i play a russian spy in it. but you know everybody has kind of a different take on it. i guess the russians really like the dark they like the darkness. they were crazy for tom, who plays loki in the film. the fan art was out of control. >> jimmy: really? >> unbelievable. yeah. unbelievable. actually mark had this story about how he got into his car at the end of the, you know russian premiere at this woman, this random woman slild into the car with him and he was like --
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and of course it's mark he's so cool, he's like bay by you got to go, you got to go baby. she's like i can't, i can't. i can't leave. he's like, sweetheart, this is never going to happen. this is never going to be. and she's like no no you have to give this -- you have to -- he's like, what? she hands it to him. it's this unbelievable rendering of tom. the most realistic. he's like get the hell out of my car! he was the middleman to deliver this amazing piece of fan art which i just -- i wish that tom had given me to me. >> jimmy: does it turn into the hulk and crush and destroy her? >> he did after a little russian standard vodka. >> jimmy: the hulk just stole the film. >> what's that mean? >> jimmy: not that you don't. certainly. i saw you got your star on the hollywood walk of fame this
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week. >> yes yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: is that exciting? >> yeah, i got it just yesterday, it was very very -- it's right across the street. >> jimmy: we'll keep an eye on it for you. keep the hobos off it. >> yeah, ya e. >> jimmy: you hear that guillermo? no urinating on it. did your whole family come out? >> my grandmother was there, my mom came. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> the whole -- and my grandmother was -- this is like i flew her from new york and she's, first of all, she told me before, she'll be 90 years old this year and she was like oh i could really use a couple of days away. i'm like, from what? yeah. >> jimmy: from the rat race. >> yeah, right. the grind. but she came and she was so excited and everything and of course i, you know i gave her a little nod, you have the speech i was so happy to have her there. she kept looking up.
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and then, at the end, she got, you know, somebody helped her get to her car, whatever and there were a lot of fans there and, you know photographers and everything and they were taking pictures of her, as well. and right before she not into the car, she just went thank you, thank you, beautiful, beautiful people. she's so sweet. so sweet. and she got into the car. she closed the car door and she opened it again, you're wonder. so wonderful. grandma -- >> jimmy: she suddenly had an accent. >> not suddenly. that's -- i'm going light on the accent. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: this has to been exciting, to have your own -- i don't know if we can call this an action figure. it's kind of a lego figure that you -- that you got -- it's not -- >> you can never get it to stand. how -- and i notice, of course i have the same body but they tried to make the little curves. you see that? and, and, look at this i realized, i thought maybe i could wear thor's hair.
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you can take the hair off. and then you can turn the face around and, look i'm pleasant on that side. that's, like the pleasant me and that's the more kind of aggressive -- i don't know. that's like a night of partying right there. i don't know. >> jimmy: wow. that's -- yeah. i guess -- i don't know why they would do that. your character is black widow and, yeah, you look -- you look like you weigh 400 pounds if you were to believe this lego. >> i don't think they've had a curvy lego before. >> jimmy: it's about time they work on that. seems like they should. >> i think so. >> jimmy: oh, and i have -- place mrauls i have this commissioned for you, also. >> that's absolutely gorgeous. >> jimmy: quick break. scarlett johansson is here. marvel's "the avengers" is the film. it opens tomorrow. we'll be right back.
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is that rain? [siri] yes, it appears to be raining. oooh...let's get tomato soup delivered. [siri] i found a number of restaurants [siri] whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. good, 'cause i don't wanna put on real shoes. remind me to clean up...tomorrow. [siri] ok, i'll remind you. excellent. today, we're dancing. play 'shake, rattle and roll.' ♪
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i am going to become facebook friends with our babysitter. no. these work, right? no. all right. mom! look what i found in the shed! no! no! no! ♪ ♪ ew! were you guys just making out in here? what? no! is it okay if i quit my job and start a blog? no. really? cold cuts from a package? yes. [ male announcer ] in a world filled with "no," it's nice to finally say "yes." new oscar mayer selects deli meat. the tastes you love and no artificial preservatives. it's yes food.ababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababab
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." that's a lot of fun. that's got to be fun. >> yeah, no that was terrible. >> jimmy: it was? >> no, it was painful. that's all. terribly painful. >> jimmy: for jeremy or you? >> both of us. jeremy wounded his neck completely couldn't turn you know, when you do that where you can't turn and he did that, like, tying his shoe that day, when was the biggest injury he sustained. >> jimmy: that sounds like an excuse. maybe you wounded his neck and he didn't want to admit it. >> no, they were like jeremy we need you, he was like what -- oh that was it. >> jimmy: you are telling me these people aren't really super heroes? >> no yes we are. >> jimmy: that is disappointing. >> i promise. i'll show you my thigh hold late earl on.
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[ applause ] >> jimmy: good night! thanks for watching. did you go to the prom when you were in high school? >> my senior prom, i went with my boyfriend at the time. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i did not two. probably a shocking thing for you to hear. >> that's very sad. >> jimmy: i did not go. >> i would have gone to prom with you. ing well that's what i was just going to ask you, actually. i'm doing -- i'm working on a project. i'm trying to erase my past. >> oh. you and i both. >> jimmy: if you could open these curtains here, i have something set up that i think hopefully would be -- would you mind -- i -- i got you this corsage. >> okay. [ applause ] >> jimmy: is that you? is that you -- >> that's me from high school yeah. >> wow. no wonder nobody went -- >> jimmy: how dare you. listen -- that's for you. >> wow. you are so prepared.
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what do i -- >> jimmy: if you get next to me in high school and we'll pretend, then, that i went to the prom with you. >> all right. >> jimmy: when i was in high school. and i'll destroy any old evidence of any kind. all right. ready? let's get in -- >> all right, here we go. >> jimmy: okay? [ applause ] try to look more lovey dovy -- >> i pitch i could put my hand -- >> jimmy: like we can't wait to get back to my mom's station wagon. good, good. very good. [ applause ] maybe a tongue in the ear would be nice? >> oh, yeah? >> jimmy: yeah yeah. oh, yeah, there you go that's great. perfect. all right. now, let's see what we have here. let's see how this came out. i think we got it -- oh yeah, look at that. that is excellent. that looks absolutely perfect. >> you are sexy. >> jimmy: thank you so much.
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scarlett johansson, everybody. and me. "the avengers" opens in theaters tomorrow. we'll be right back with roger daltrey. right now, there are more than twenty brands of cars being sold in america. so let's say you were starting with all new cars. what would you have to do to stand out? you would have to go further. with plug-ins that are projected to take you over 100 mpge. with gas vehicles equipped with ecoboost engines- combining power and efficiency. and with advanced technology that not only hears your voice but that opens doors for you and practically parks itself. if you wanted to truly redefine what a car could be
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you'd have to go further than anyone thought you could go. and then, you'd go further. what makes hershey's s'mores special? pure chocolate goodness that brings people together. hershey's makes it a s'more... you make it special. pure hershey's.
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[ male announcer ] cookies with smooth caramel and chocolate. ♪ ♪ hmm twix. also available in peanut butter. what? you got a dog? yeah, he's a rescue dog names weego. what kind of name is that? call him. here weego! ♪ ♪ no... yup... here weego. ♪ ♪ here weego! ♪ ♪ thank you. here we go... uhh... ♪ ♪ here we go! [ male announcer ] it's the sure sign of a good time. the just right taste of bud light. here we go. [ whimpers ] ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ okay, so who ordered the cereal that can help lower cholesterol and who ordered the yummy cereal? yummy. that's yours. lower cholesterol. lower cholesterol. i'm yummy. lower cholesterol.
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i got that wrong didn't i? [ male announcer ] want great taste? honey nut cheerios. want whole grain oats that can help lower cholesterol? honey nut cheerios. it's a win win. good? [ crunching, sipping ] be happy. be healthy. can i try yours?
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question... probe, prod, and look. build your dream. find your nook. what's your nook? nook tablet. get it at your neighborhood barnes and noble. ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] nothing will
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keep you from magnum. silky vanilla bean ice cream and rich caramel sauce all covered in thick belgian chocolate. magnum ice cream. for pleasure seekers. what do you think they want? everything. just give it to them... today, we stand against the tyranny of single mile credit cards. battle speech right? may i? [ horse neighs ] for too long, people have settled for single miles. with the capital one venture card you'll earn double miles on every purchase, every day! [ visigoths cheer ] hawaii, here we come. [ alec ] so sign up today for a venture card at capitalone.com.
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and start earning double. [ all ] double miles! [ brays ] what's in your wallet? can you play games on that? not on the runway. no. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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>> jimmy: hi there, we're back. long before his band's music became the soundtrack to every television crime scene investigation in this country, our next guest commanded maybe the best head of hair in rock and roll. he is the lead singer of the who and host of the annual teenage cancer trust concert. please welcome roger daltrey. chps [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you still have a beautiful head of hair. >> i still got it.
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>> jimmy: yeah, nice. >> grateful for that. >> jimmy: thank you for coming. great to have you here. >> some of men's here. i just come back from japan and literally two days into the time change, so some of me is here. >> jimmy: at least your head and the part that talks is here. that's the most important thing. what's the status of the who right now? >> kind of having a very long sabbatical, which seems to be like most of our career. >> jimmy: when you had the farewell concert in '82, did you, at that time know it probably wasn't really a farewell concert? >> well it was farewell for now concert. no really we just had to stop touring because we had a lot of problems in the band. >> jimmy: right. >> due to kind of illegal substances. >> jimmy: like plutonium? >> yeah, yeah. it worked. so, that was all right. >> jimmy: things are better now, i assume? >> yeah, they are.
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but now we're all deaf and pete's got a problem with his ears. i had a problem with my voice, which is touch wood thanks to this wonderful surgeon in boston, that he's treated me. >> jimmy: nice. that's nice. >> fixed the voice. hopefully he can fix his ears. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i heard a story, and it's a crazy story and sounds like one of the stories that was made up. i want to ask you about it. your band you guys were contacted by the olympic committee, the summer olympics in london is this true? >> it could only happen in britain. we are so organized. we goont e-mail requesting could keith moon attend the opening ceremony. and our manager sent an e-mail back saying well actually he currently resides in golden green crematorium, where he's been for the last 35 years.
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maybe you have a round table, some glasses, he might be able to -- >> jimmy: have a seance to bring him back? >> yeah. >> jimmy: nice. well, tupac came back. in those days -- was keith the one in charge of destroying the hotel rooms? >> well he -- actually, he wasn't in charge. he was greatly egged on by mr. townshend. they were partners in crime. >> jimmy: and why destroy hotel rooms? >> well if you've been on the road for month after month after month, they become extremely boring. i mean and you run out of fun to have. and then you know it gets out of hand and, of course let's have some fresh air in here. >> jimmy: you run out of fun to
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have. are city ofthe -- >> we once got banned from every hotel in new york. how do you do that? how did we do that? >> jimmy: that's impressive. >> that's a lot of hotels. >> jimmy: are there any that you are still banned from? >> no, no. actually, the truth is they actually quite liked us because we used to pay the damage. >> jimmy: you did? >> in cash. >> jimmy: in cash? >> yeah. so, of course we pay in cash and they claim insurance and it was -- welcome back, mr. moon! >> jimmy: that's nice. you really are going around the country remodeling. >> there was a hotel in new york where we used to say, they used to, when they knew we were coming, they used to put keith in the room they wanted decorate decorated decorated. >> jimmy: we have a show here called "extreme home makeover" that does the similar thing. he was like their ty pennington. >> that's true. >> jimmy: i want to talk about the work you've been doing in england and now here with the teenage cancer trust.
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these are -- tell us about it. >> it's my other passion in life, because without teenagers, the support of teenagers, basically, the support of teenagers built the music business as we know it today. and i've got involved in a thing that supports teenagers with cancer, because it amazes me that the mid call profession and hospital organizations, they have very well catered for children and adults but there is very little in fact, almost nothing, for teenagers. between the ages 12 to 25, we go to 25. and, of course when teenagers get cancer they've got really a different set of problems than any other age group. they are going through enormous changes psychologically. the chancers schancers they get are much more aggressive. they tend to get late diagnosis, they are playing sports all that kind of suf. so
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they get the real fuzzy end of the lollipop. what we do we build hospital wards, we call them in england, over here, i don't know what you call them units, your system is very different from ours but we build them specifically for teenagers so they can be together and not have their life interrupted, so they can continue their schooling, they can all mix, they run the way it runs and they can have mtv all night, they can do what they want. they can wake up from having a brain tumor removed and not have two clowns with a ukulele, one with spoons with a baby screaming next door, which actually happens, or even worse, a jeer yat trick like me in the room next to you. this is what we do. >> jimmy: this is the benefit concert you did, paul mccartney was with you there at that concert. have you guys been on stage together before? >> oh, yeah. we did live aid -- >> jimmy: oh, yeah, right.
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>> that was a long time ago. >> jimmy: it's so great to have you here. you are going to sing for us i understand? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: the ucla daltrey/townshend teen & young adult cancer program will open soon in los angeles, with plans to expand to hospitals around is the country. so, go and support them. we'll be back with music from roger daltrey.
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the classic "young man blew sues, roger daltrey. ♪ ♪ oh well a young man ain't got nothin' in the world these days i said a young man ♪ ♪ ain't got nothin' in the world these days
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you know in the old days when a young man ♪ ♪ was a strong man all the people they'd step back when a young man walked by ♪ ♪ but you know nowadays it's the old man he's got all the money and a young man ♪ ♪ ain't got nothin' in the world these days ain't got nothing ♪ ♪ ain't going nothing ♪
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♪ inside old man's got nothing left to say ♪ ♪ young man don't think that's very funny ♪ ♪ but the young man finds it hard to get a day's pay ♪ ♪ all the people step back when a young man walk on by ♪ ♪ old days when a

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