"dancing with the stars" finalists tomorrow. jimmy kimmel is next. >> tonight on an all new jimmy kimmel live. >> now on another season of "dancing with the stars" behind us, i guess the contestants will go back to what they were doing before this, which is not dancing and not being stars. >> and patricia heaton and nikolaj coster-waldau, plus music from lisa marie presley and "dancing with the stars" winner, donald driver. >> they've announced

>> look, i know how to open it by myself. >> the fact that you know that infuriates me beyond words. >> you need to loosen up. you got your panties in a jungle -- sir. >> what my daughter sees in you is a great mystery to me. >> oh, she likes what's in my pants. it's coke zero, sir.

>> keep the ship out of the surf and spray. >> keep the what out of the what? >> keep the ship out of the surf and spray. >> i thought you said keep the [ bleep ] out of the slurpee spray! >> do you have anything to say to me? anything? >> yes, i have another can of coke zero just for you, mr. leo nelson. you don't want it? ok, your loss. back in the pants. >> dicky: coke zero. real coke taste and zero calories. enjoy everything. an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with patricia heaton. from "game of thrones", nikolaj coster-waldau. the winner of "dancing with the stars." donald driver. and music from lisa marie presley

everything. ♪ (sfx: can opening) just give it to them...

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tonight, patricia heaton, nikolaj coster-waldau, "dancing with the stars" winner, donald driver, and music from lisa marie presley, with cleto and the cletones. and now, i'm warning you, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you very much. very nice. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us here tonight. let me just say, it's a night of much pageantry and celebration as season 14 of "dancing with the stars" has come to a glorious conclusion, the suspense, the costumes, almost hyperventilated tonight.

at first i thought i was going through menopause, bau then i remembered i was born a man. [ laughter ] >> every year at the beginning of a new dancing season, i bet kind of randomly on the dancer that i believe will win. i started doing this back in the fifth season. i correctly picked then. season six, i got kristy yama gucci, in season nine, donny osmond won for me. in season 11, jennifer grey. in season 12, i correctly picked hines ward. that's five winners in eight seasons which is pretty spectacular, but let's go back to march to see who i picked at the beginning of this season. guillermo, remove the brief case and reveal my selection. my selection is -- >> donald driver. >> jimmy: yes, donald the driver. from the green bay packers and when the smoke cleared and the sequins settled tonight, who was

declared victorious? that's right, donald driver. [ cheers and applause ] that is why all around the world i am known as noftra dam us. thank you. i don't know why i'm really good at picking the winner of "dancing with the stars." as a young man i was bitten by a radioactive tom bergeron. we'll chat with donald driver and his partner, peta murgatroyd to give them an opportunity to thank me. he's the fourth nfl player to win "dancing with the stars." emit smith, hines ward and donny osmond as you saw there. next year, when they announce the cast for next year, already i know i'm picking the hologram of tupac to win. i guess the contestants now will go back to what they were doing before this, which is not dancing, and not being stars.

[ laughter ] meanwhile on fox, another big reality show wraps their season. tomorrow night we'll select a new american idol. the american idol finale is the rare night of the year when ryan seacrest goes from 12 jobs down to 11 after 19 excruciatingly long weeks of competition, the field has been narrowed to two. do we still care? i know i don't care. i don't remember who won last year. i don't remember who won the year before. i didn't realize sometimon had left the show until last week. but they say it's still the number one show on television. i feel like people aren't paying attention to it anymore. so i sent my cousin sal out onto hollywood boulevard to ask a simple question. do you know who the two american idol finalists are. and here's what they had to say. >> i'm going to give you ten, if you can tell me who are the final two contestants in this year's american idol? >> ooh, american idol, huh, i

just saw that yesterday. i don't even know. >> you don't know? >> i don't know. >> all right. i don't like the steelers, i'll take your hat. >> you gonna take it? >> yeah, i gotta take it. i will give you $10, if you can tell me which two contestants are in the american idol finale tonight. >> i don't know at all. i guess i'll be $10 short. not only that, you have to give me your sunglasses. >> oh! >> i'm going to need this. >> oh, so beautiful. thank you. >> oh, the black kid who sings real good. >> no. give me the vest. >> okay. >> doesn't even go with the shirt. >> i have never watched that program in my life. i'll take this, thank you. >> all right, you seem like a

hip lady, know what the kids are into. >> i sure do. >> all right, tell me, for $10, who was in tonight's american idol finale. >> i think, christine somebody and paul somebody. >> that's much better than i would have thought, but i'll still going to have to take this. make a muscle. wow. >> who is in tonight's american idol finale? >> i have no clue. >> you don't know? >> no clue. >> i'll take this one. >> thanks. see ya. >> all you have to do is tell me, who was in tonight's american idol finale. >> philip sanchez and jessica conniers. >> yes, finally you are the proud owner of $10. take all this crap too, and the dog. >> thank you. and the microphone. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: one of the pioneers in the history of television passed away over the weekend. eugene pauly who invented the wireless remote control died at the age of 96. he's the reason we don't have to get up to change the channel anymore. he's the father of the remote control and type two diabetes. he created what was called the flash mattic remote in 1955. before that, if you wanted to change the channel, you had to scream at your wife in the kich tone come change it. he was buried today in the cushions of the couch, but he had a long life and he died doing what he loved, not getting up. mitt romney released his official campaign ad of the general election. romney reminds me of the guy in the commercial that buys his wife a lexus for christmas, with the big bow on it. but this ad is focused on what he would do on his first day in

office. and while it's pretty good as is, but we changed the narration somewhat to make it more literal. i think it works better like this. >> what would a romney presidency be like? day one, the sheens, trucks, mexicans and american flag, guys wearing hats, ties, a black lady, doctors, happy old guy, black friend, more american flags, black lady again. hey, let's have sex in the field. i'm mitt romney and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: here's something mitt romney mighting interested in. there's a parking spot in the greenwich area village in flork that will be priced at $1 million. wouldn't it be cheaper just to kill yourself? i mean, if you have a million dollars to spend on a parking spot, you should probably get a helicopter and land anywhere you want.

i would love it if whoever buys this spot parks a 1986 ford taurus in it. authorities in dana point, which is not too far south, found almost four tons of marijuana floating in the ocean. where it came frrks no one knows. does snoop dogg have a wot? it was split up into 160 bails, with a street value of $3.6 million. sharks with the munchies going to the summer, just what we need. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm not a marine biologist or a detective, but i bet it was dolphins who ordered that pot. you know, they're always goofing around, smiles on their faces. dolphins are the stoners of the ocean. have any of you within watching america's got talent this season? [ cheers and applause ] howard stern is the new judge on

the show, and he's definitely livened things up, you wouldn't think the energy of piers manager an can could be replaced. it turns out it can. they had a performer from pennsylvania, the guys name was horse. his act centered around entirely getting kicked and hit in the groin. by his friends and then even the host stepped in. >> first i said, the guy's wearing a cup, but clearly you are not wearing a cup. >> cups are for cheaters. >> maybe your friends were taking it easy on you. would you think it was weird if i had nick cannon come out and just smash you in the nuts. >> yeah! >> would you be honored? >> harder, harder! >> yeah!

>> jimmy: it's official, america doesn't have talent. how is that a talent? even the kardashians are like, why is that guy on tv? what does he do? and one more thing, with all the "dancing with the stars" excitement going on, there's been a lot of high-fiving around our office lately. this is our security guard adelina. she guards the door outside my office. there she is painting her eyebrows into a surprise. [ laughter ] she's an unusual person. she might not even be a person. we're still looking into that. but every once in a while, we're hide a camera and do weird things to see how she reacts. my safety is of para mount importance. once we said there was a tornado in the building and she believed it. so earlier today, we asked people on the staff to give adelina a high five on their way upstairs. and watch, she was very confused. >> hey, how are you?

>> all right. >> how are you? five five. ♪ >> thank you. [ bleep ] [ bleep ] [ laughter ]

♪ holy [ bleep ]! ♪ oh, [ bleep ]! [ laughter ]

>> want to see the present i got you? >> yeah. >> take the lid off. ah! >> do you like it? >> jimmy: thank you, adelina. [ cheers and applause ] give guillermo a high-five. we have a big show tonight [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show, patricia heaton is with us. from "game of thrones," nikolaj coster-waldau is here. we have music from lisa marie presley. and we'll be right back with our dancing champions, donald driver and peta murgatroyd. so stick around.

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>> jimmy: tonight on the program, the recipient of a star on the hollywood walk of fame today, the season finale of her show "the middle" airs tomorrow night here on abc. patricia heaton is here. and then, from "game of thrones," the kingslayer, nikolaj coster-waldau is with us. and we will wrap things up with music from this new album called "storm & grace." lisa marie presley from the bud light stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night we'll be joined by josh brolin, bethenny frankel, and we'll have music from kimbra. and on thursday, charlize theron, manny pacquiao, and music from graffiti 6. so please join us for those shows too. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: way back in march, before a tango had even been tanged, i bet a lot of money on one man to win the mirrored ball. he is a super bowl champion with the green bay packers and now a "dancing with the stars" champion, too. joining us live via satellite with his partner peta murgatroyd, please say hello to donald driver! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello, guys! >> hey, jimmy, how you doing? >> jimmy: look at you guys. >> doing well. >> jimmy: thank you for putting a shirt on. you were half naked during the show. >> you're more than welcome. >> jimmy: congratulations. >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: do you feel like i played any role in this victory? >> you did play a big role. you announced it week one that i was going to win, and you haven't let me down. >> jimmy: i feel like the three of us won these trophies and yet i don't get one. [ cheers and applause ] >> you can borrow mine. >> jimmy: this is better than the super bowl, right?

i mean -- >> i think it's better per pet a not for me. >> jimmy: peta, this is your second year on the show and already you're a champion. max must be furious. >> good one. >> good one. oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: last year your partner of ron artest, aka world peace. compare world peace and donald driver as dance partners. >> it's really like night and day, to be honest. donald is -- >> jimmy: really? wow. >> it kind of is. ron was an amazing person, but -- >> jimmy: no one's ever been honest from "dancing with the stars" before. i'm shocked. i don't know what to say. you got a perfect score last night after -- donald, you predicted you told len you were going to get a ten.

you did get a ten. pet a did you think that was a good strategy? >> definitely a very good strategy. i think he peaked at the right time, and you know, he showed everybody that he can really get that ten from len in the end. >> jimmy: i have to say i was surprised that you chose to do a country line dance, dressed up in packers colors, and dancing like a cowboy. is that like your kind of dancing in general? >> i like it all. i don't have a problem with doing any of it. ballroom and latin was a little bit tough, but being from texas, country comes natural. >> jimmy: i gotcha. did you have to get your coach's permission before you did the show? >> i did. i called coach and he said go ahead and have fun, you better make sure you win. so we won. >> jimmy: will you be going back to play football next season, or will you dance full time? [ laughter ] >> i'm going to play football. i'm done with dancing. >> jimmy: that's it. not even an -- maybe a ballroom

end zone dance could be something you could work into your repertoire. >> we're working on that. that's going to be my signature touchdown dance this season. >> jimmy: i want to thank you for defending this nation against foreign underwear models approximately will there be a parade when you go home? >> i think so. we're going to bring the mirror ball back to where it always started in tyler town. >> jimmy: there you go. well, congratulations to both of you. and i have to say, thank you, again, for the money. i appreciate it. we'll see you tomorrow on "good morning america." we'll be right back with patricia heaton. is that rain?

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[ crunching, sipping ] be happy. be healthy. can i try yours? >> jimmy: still to come, lisa marree presley and nikolaj costar-waldau. our first guest was surrounded by her family and three husbands two tv versions and a real one -- as she received a star on the hollywood walk of fame. her show is called "the middle." the season finale airs tomorrow night at 8:00 p.m., here on abc. please say hello to patricia

heaton! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: so glamourous. you really are a hollywood star. you have a hollywood star. >> and i have a hollywood star. it's kind of miraculous. because when i came here about 20 years ago, i was 30 years old, and i didn't have an agent or a manager. i mean, i'm like the actress version of seabiscuit. >> jimmy: most people come right out of high school or college. >> they're models and they all have reception. i had nothing. so to be standing there on hollywood boulevard and i havea star was just really overwhelming. >> jimmy: i would imagine it was. did you get emotional? >> i did. you know, ray romano who was my first tv husband, got up and spoke and then neil flynn, who

is my current tv husband. my real husband was there too. >> jimmy: he didn't speak. >> he kept quiet. i have these three wonderful husbands, it's sort of like i'm a reverse mormon. so when we're on the set, we're always joking. they're comedians, so you never really are sincere with each other. they got up and said some very nice things. and it shook me up because they were so nice. >> jimmy: did you shed tears? >> i got choked up. >> jimmy: you're going to get even more choked up in the homeless people are sleeping on your stars as you walk by and realize it's covered with hepatitis b. [ laughter ] that will be another moment of emotion. >> at least it was in front of this lovely little hotel. i thought it was going to be in front of the bong emporium. >> jimmy: there's a lot of bad spots there. >> but a bunch of my friends from my street they grew up on, came, and they gave me a special

gift. >> jimmy: oh, they did? >> yes. it's a star scrubbing bucket. >> jimmy: your friends are here in the front row here. which ones are your friends? >> there's sally right there. and then suzi. and then that's suzi next to suzi but because we already had a suzi in the neighborhood, he changed sue's name to liz. she was the last one to move on to the street. i said what's your name, she said sue suzi. i said, oh, no, we already have a suzi. >> what's in the bucket? >> orange kouns and a crown. orange kouns to put around the bucket while you're scrubbing it. it's got sponges and cleaner to take the hepatitis b off. it's got scrub brushes, a flashlight, star burst. >> jimmy: that's very considerate. >> and there's an orange vest to wear while you're scrubbing it. >> jimmy: how long you guys been

friends? >> 59. >> jimmy: 59 years? >> 1959. >> jimmy: wait a minute. that doesn't make sense. since you were born? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's great that you guys all came out. you got some real old pals here. >> that's really nice. >> we all put on plays together in my garage. and we also, on roller skates did highlights from "west side story" on the loading dock of our grocery store. and sally gave me the skate key from our skates. and i'm dating myself because there's a lot of people on twitter that didn't know what a skate key was and i had to explain it. >> jimmy: there was even a song about it. >> yes, who did that? melanie. >> jimmy: very well done.

>> i can't remember my kids' names or birthdays, but i remember that for some reason. >> jimmy: they were at the ceremony with you. >> yes, i had to tell them why it was happening. maybe they'll start watching the shows. >> jimmy: were they impressed? >> well, they got to get out of school for the day, so they didn't care why. they got to ride in the limousine. so i think it was fun. >> jimmy: and congratulations, "the middle" got picked up for four seasons. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you have a special guest star, norm macdonald coming back tomorrow. >> come being back tomorrow night for the finale. we're having a big wedding on the show. and it's -- frankie has a meltdown because of it. >> jimmy: well, it's great to see you. what's the plan for the rest of the -- are they staying through the weekend? >> we had a barbecue on sunday. they're driving up to bakers

field. >> lom poke. >> jimmy: you can visit the prison while you're there. that will be nice. >> they have to take liz back to the prison. she just got out for a couple of days. >> jimmy: well, she has the tools to escape. congratulations and thanks for being here. we'll keep an eye on your star. >> all right. thank you. >> jimmy: patricia heaton! "the middle" season finale airs tomorrow night at 8:00 p.m. on abc. we'll be right back with nikolaj coster-waldau. you know starburst is a contradiction. it's solid, yet juicy.

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>> jimmy: welcome back, still to come, lisa marie presley will be here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know our next guest as the incestuous jamie lannister on "game of thrones." he slays kings and throws children out windows on tv, not real life. "game of thrones" airs on hbo sunday nights at 9:00 p.m. please welcome, nikolaj coster-waldau! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice to meet you. i have to say it's weird to me because i only know you from the show and i feel like maybe i might get a sword through my throat. >> you're not the only one. the first episode of "game of thrones," the last scene is me being very close to my sister ask this boy walks in and i push him out the window. i met a friend and his girlfriend. i hadn't met her before. she just seen the show and she couldn't even look at me.

>> jimmy: you're probably not going to get any babysit jobs. >> exactly. >> jimmy: do you have kids? >> i have two daughters. they haven't watch pd the show. >> jimmy: you would never push your child out a window. >> no -- well, no. >> jimmy: where are you from? >> i'm from denmark. you may know this, apparently we're the happiest people in the world. there was a big sur have a and we are the happiest people in the world. >> jimmy: oh, congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] >> unfortunately it kind of caused like a week-long depression across the country. half the population was going, i knew it, i'm the only one who feels like this. the other half, they were wishing they could emigrate. suddenly they realized, there's no point. >> jimmy: you realize that's the top of the heap. there's nowhere to go from there. >> it's a great country. >> jimmy: where in denmark are you from? >> i grew up in the countryside, a small village called chupia.

>> jimmy: we don't even have villages. >> i think there were like 40 people living there. >> jimmy: that's not even a village. that's a rest stop. [ laughter ] >> and half those people were at the retirement home. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> so they were elderly. >> jimmy: you know everybody in the town. can you get away with anything when you grew up? >> most of them didn't really notice because they were kind of old. [ laughter ] but me and my friends, i loved fireworks, we had this thing at one point, it was crazy. if i saw my kids do that, i would freak out. but we could buy these bags of all this stuff, and cut it up. and we'd take out all the gunpowder in a big pile. then we would get these pipes and stuff the powder and then we

would -- >> jimmy: this is in the category of small worlds, i did exactly the same thing growing up in brooklyn. we spent hours breaking the fire crackers open, dumping the gunpowder out of them and put it in a cylinder and blew it up. >> exactly. >> jimmy: where do you even get fire crackers in the town of 40 people? >> there are other towns around there. >> jimmy: i see, you travel to fire cracker town. were you into sci-fi and fantasy? >> no, not really. there was this thing called dungeons and dragons. >> jimmy: we had that. >> this game, and i wasn't really into it, but i had these friends. this was back, well, our high school. and i had a friend who also likes to -- this is a cautionary tale, actually. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> don't do this. >> jimmy: okay. >> and he said, you have to come this weekend. we're gonna play "game of

thrones" and get high first, it's the best thing. and i said, i was 16, i said i can't. i can't smoke. not they didn't want to do the drugs, but i couldn't smoke. he was like my best friend, he said, don't worry. i'll sort you out. i'll bake you some brownies, some hash brownies and that was perfect because i love cake. i got to his house and there was this big pile of hash brownies and i was like, these are all for me, right? and i just ate them all. and then, it was -- it was just weird. because i freaked out. [ laughter ] >> at one point, and this is true, i was chasing my friends around, this was like, in a forest, with a small tree, and i was trying to kill them. and then later, i broke down and they called my dad and i was

laughing and i've never had a hash brownie since. >> jimmy: you ate our whole life's worth in that one instance. now, as far as "game of thrones," because it's so intense and so bloody, my girlfriend at the end of every episode, says i'm not watching this anymore. i only watch this for you and then we keep going and watch it over and over. are you guys having fun on the set? >> we're having a great time. >> jimmy: you are? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's crazy. >> but it's a lot of fun. and it's also an absurd world. you know that thing when they say action till they say cut, you're a hundred percent inside this world with the swords and costumes. then when they yell cut, people go around with the smoke and the cigarette and the coffee. like in episode one, you have this rival of like the king and all his people, and they come to this castle -- on bean's

character, and mark adi who plays the king, he rides in and he comes and says -- and then they say cut. and because of the costume and the weight of it, they can't get up. then you have all these people running to carry him up. then they said action and he goes -- >> jimmy: so the king is stuck on his horse. >> yes. >> jimmy: your character has a relationship with the twin sister, the queen, an incestious relationship. >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you have sisters in real life? >> i have two older sisters. >> jimmy: what do they think of that? >> they, they, they don't think of that. we haven't had that discussion. you know what i think, usually as an actor, you always go, well, i use personal experience. >> jimmy: but not in this case. no personal experience here. when did you first come to the

united states? >> i only visit. i've never -- but the first time was in -- i was 22. i just did a short film with a good friend. and we had these dreams of coming here and making it big. he hired this screening room on broadway in new york. so we showed these agents that he invited and it was an amazing experience. i didn't get an agent, though. >> jimmy: you didn't? wow, i bet they're kicking themselves now. >> i hope so. >> jimmy: the show is fantastic. you do a great job. meeting you makes me realize what a great actor you are. it's great to meet you. thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nikolaj coster-waldau! "game of thrones" airs sunday nights at 9:00 p.m. on hbo. are you an elvis fan? do you know who elvis presley is. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: well, when we come back, his daughter is here, lisa marree presley. we'll be right back. mmmmmmmmmmmm

>> jimmy: the show is back on. welcome back. this is her new album. it's called "storm & grace." here with the song "over me," lisa marie presley! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i've seen her face it's okay nothing great yeah she's cool in a ♪ ♪ gap toothed hippy chick way

i've seen the way you and she put on a play ♪ ♪ and how she plays the part much better than i played can it be ♪ ♪ you're over me she took my place she saved the day it's hard to see ♪ ♪ you're over me when she took my place she saved the day

i've seen that she ♪ ♪ she likes to eat whatever you make and how well she can bake that cake ♪ ♪ i wouldn't bake what a breath of fresh air she is in my wake ♪ ♪ can it be you're over me she took my place she saved the day ♪ ♪ it's hard to see you're over me

when she took my place she saved the day ♪ ♪ you hope there's no bad blood you want to be my friend ♪ ♪ to say hi now and then you know there's very bad blood and i was never ♪ ♪ your friend to say hi can it be you're over me ♪ ♪ she took my place she saved the day it's hard to see you're over me ♪ ♪ when she took my place she saved the day ♪

♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: lisa marie presley! the cd is called storm & grace and it's out now. thanks to donald driver and peta murgtroyd, patricia heaton, nikolaj coster-waldau, apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. tomorrow night - josh brolin, bethenny frankel and music from kimbra. thanks for watching, bauenos noches. ♪