>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live! game night," presented by skype. tonight, joel mchale... and jimmy talks to kids. and now here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's right. i'm here. hello, and welcome. i'm jimmy, with a special assignment tonight, our second nba "game night" special of 2012. tonight, game 2 of the nba finals between the miami heat and the oklahoma city thunder. as basketball fans know, game 2 provides a critical, much-needed bridge between games 1 and game 3, so... 3, so... oklahoma city is hosting the finals for the first time. not only is this the greatest moment in the history of oklahoma professional sports. this is the only the hist the history of oklahoma professional sports. the thunder did go to the finals three times back when they were known as the seattle

supersonics. they were moved and renamed the oklahoma city thunder in 2008. the new owners were looking for a name that would bring to mind a women's indoor soccer team, and they did get it. there's a lot of excitement in okc right now, and un a local tattoo shop is giving out free thunder tattoos. i don't know. if i were getting a tattoo, i think i'd want to pay the full price, maybe throw a tip in their, too. not only are fans getting tattoos. they're getting special haircuts, too.s from the local f this is from the local fox affiliate in oklahoma city. they invited a barber named scissorhands to shave the thunder logo into their floor director's head. >> good morning. we have scissorhands joining us. looking good! >> [ laughs ] >> thank you so much for being with us here. >> thank you. >> and this is a very special haircut, folks, because this is our floor director, anthony west. anthony, are you feeling okay? >> i'm doing great. >> he says he's feeling okay. >> you can't keep moving like that. >> i'm sorry. i'm sorry. take a this is our floor director anthony west.

yeah, we have to give him a quick ror being a good sport. you like it? t? >> like it? all right. that's good. >> jimmy: typically, you expect more precision from a guy named scissorhands, but that'll grow out in five to eight months. we have some special entertainmt. you know, many of the best-known players in the nba are on twitter. some of them tweet a lot, and tonight we'v of those of those best tweets to music. and here now, singing a tweet from jeff teague of the atlanta hawks, the "jimmy kimmel live!" children's choir. kids? [ cheers and applause ] [ mid-tempo piano music plays ] >> it's some bad face shawtys n nap woo. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i have no idea what that means, but... this is pretty funny. this is from a miami heat post-game press conference. lebron james and dwyane wade, for some reason, wore black horn-rimmed glasses. for millions of nerds, this is bittersweet. the very glasses that keptity u well into college are now fashion statements for the nba.

either that, or they're going to see "madagascar 3-d" after the game. i don't know. not only did the glasses make them look different. it seemed to me it made them sound a little bit different, too. >> in this moment, could you just sort of sum up what these 12 months have been like? >> [ as woody allen ] well, i mean, it's been a journey. i mean, it's been a long ride, like you said. but we're happy. we've been able to, um, put ourselves into position and not take a -- a -- we didn't take any days off. >> jimmy: somebody's been in miami for too long. [ cheers and applause ] now, um, watching the nba finals makes me nostalgic for great moments of nba games past, and we'll be highlighting some of those moments over the next week. this happened during the 1965 eastern conference finals between the celtics and the 76ers. this is one of the craftiest moves in the history of the nba. john havlicek iced it for the celtics when he intercepted an inbound pass with five seconds left in the game. and pay attention to the crowd at the end o you you may recognize a familiar face or two or three.

>> greer is putting the ball in play. he gets it out deep, and havlicek steals it! over to sam jones! it's all over! it' johnny havlicek is being mobbed by the fans! >> jimmy: they're texting in 1965. [ applause ] you guys want to hear the kids sing another tweet here? okay, all right, this is -- [ cheers and applause ] this is a tweet from one oown he own here in los angeles, metta world peace of the los angeles m lakers tweeting via the "jimmy kimmel live!" children's choir. [ mid-tempo piano music plays ] >> i did not grow up classy i grew up basically in a jungle somewhat caged in i still have people caged in hood mind frame [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. poetic. [ chuckles ] the hood mind frame. [ chuckles ] my favorite set of commentators

probably in any sport is the crew from "inside the nba" on tnt. charles barkley, shaquille o'neal, kenny smith -- they usually spend about a few minutes talking about the game and then the rest of the time, making fun of each other. one of the things they make fun of the most is charles barkley's weight. so, tonight we thought it would be amusing to take some audio from "inside the nba" and combine it with video from the cartoon "fat albert and the cosby kids." and as a result, we now have something that the whole family can enjoy. >> i was out there running hill. suicides on the hill. >> are you serious? >> hey, siri, order charles kreme. krispy kreme. >> his big ass already ordered two boxes. [ laughter ]ughter ] >> oh, please don't tease me. >> wait. wait. wait. siri, is that really true? >> most definitely. his big ass sure did. [ laughter ] >> oh! >> listen, y'all are [bleep] around here. [ laughter ] [ whimsical music plays ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's overweight. fat albert is the perfect nba broadcaster. one more item before we forge ahead -- for our game 1 show,

the very talented performer mike tyson was kind enough to come up with a song for us in tribute to lebron james of the miami heat. so, tonight, in the interest of equal time, mike has another song, and this one is dedicated to oklahoma city's top player, mr. kevin durant.hunder fans,so, to sit back, relax, and turn the volume way, way down. [ rock music plays ] >> he's the one they call dr. shootgood [ cheers and applause ] he makes the thunder look terrible my boy kevin with the big wing-span plays down in okc 20-88 almost every night it's a crime he wasn't an mvp he's got a 24-karat smile that all the girls can enjoy then he run off the court and kiss his mama like a sissy boy he's the one they call dr.

shootgood yeah he drives to the hoop, impregnable yeah, give it to him he's the one they call dr. shootgood, yeah hey his glasses make him look like urkel he's the one they call dr. shootgood [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nice. his war on the human ear will never end. tonight on the show, joel mchale is here, and when we come back, i'm gonna give a kid a lie-detector test, so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] [ up-tempo music playing ] [ cheers and applause ] [ mid-tempo piano music plays ] the radical new macbook pro with retina display.

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[ cheers and applause ] [ mid-tempo piano music plays ] >> no, the bus driver did not d use the

bathroom. >> jimmy: well, that's what professional bus drivers do. tonight on the program, a very funny man you know from the shows "community" and "the soup." starting june 29th, you can see him alongside mark wahlberg and mila kunis in the new comedy "ted." joel mchale is here. joel has agreed to take our 3-point challenge. [ cheers and applause ] we've set up a hoop out on hollywood boulevard, and if joel can sink a 3-point shot, everyone in our studio audience goes home with a valuable prize tonight. joel is tall, and he played high school basketball, so i think he's got a pretty good shot at this.to join us later tonight, at our regular time after "nightline," with a new show with jada pinkett smith, matt kemp from the dodgers, and music from the temper trap. i believe that good bout smanship and honesty are anythi than just about anything when it comes to sports, so i took it upon myself to share that lesson with the next generation of professional athletes -- kids -- by hooking them up to a fake lie-detector and driving them crazy. and here's how that went.hello.

how are you? >> good. >> jimmy: good. thank you for coming. i'm officer jimmy. this is the truth fairy. the truth fairy's gonna hook you up to a machine right now. do you know what a lie detector is? >> no. >> jimmy: a lie detector is a machine that can tell if you're lying or telling the truth. so you must always tell the truth, okay? >> okay. >> jimmy: all right. and now we're gonna put this on your head, and we'll be all ready to go. >> wow. >> jimmy: that's right. he's got more gel than you, truth fairy. >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you gel your hair? >> yes. >> jimmy: okay. all right, um, let's start with your name. what is your name? >> blake. >> jimmy: okay, very good. how old are you, blake? >> 7 years old. >> jimmy: 7 years old. what grade are you in? >> first grade. >> jimmy: do you like school? >> yeah. [ electricity zapping ] >> jimmy: do you like school? >> no. >> jimmy: no. why don't you like it? >> i'm bad at science.

>> jimmy: you're bad at science? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you don't like science? >> no. >> jimmy: it's boring? >> yeah. >> jimmy: which courses do you like? >> math. >> jimmy: you like math? >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay. >> what's 8 + 8? >> 16. [ electricity zapping ] >> jimmy: 14. have you ever peed in a swimming pool? >> no. [ electricity zapping ] >> jimmy: a little bit? hold on. let me ask the truth fairy. truth fairy, have you ever peed in a swimming pool? >> yes.>> jimmy: you? >> jimmy: you? >> yes. >> jimmy: yes. i think we all have. it's fun. >> it's great. >> jimmy: sometimes i stand up on the side and pee into the swimming pool. >> it's a lot of fun.

>> jimmy: what do you like better -- your mother or a puppy? >> my mother. >> jimmy: your mother? why? >> because she takes care of me. >> jimmy: and puppies don't. >> no. >> jimmy: puppies only care about themselves. >> yep. >> jimmy: puppies are very . >> yep. >> jimmy: do you hate puppies? >> no. [ electricity zapping ] >> jimmy: do you hate puppies? >> yes. >> jimmy: do you feel like i could get you to say anything with this machine? >> no. [ electricity zapping ] yes. >> jimmy: yes. who do you think is smarter -- your mom or dad? >> hmm...dad. >> jimmy: dad. why is dad smarter? >>istory. >> jimmy: he knows more history? does mom ever do dumb things? >> no. [ electricity zapping ] >> jimmy: does mom ever do dumb things? >> yes. >> jimmy: she does. what kinds of dumb things does ? >> she says bad words. >> jimmy: oh, she says b like, words.

like, the really bad words? >> yeah.oa. do you ever say bad words? >> no. >> jimmy: sometimes? >> a little bit. >> jimmy: a little bit with your friends? what are some of your favorite ? >> [bleep] and stuff. >> jimmy: [ laughs ] [ laughing ] that's one of my favorites. i don't know if we can continue with this. >> [ laughs ] >> jimmy: thank you, blake. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with joel mchale. [ cheers and applause ] [ up-tempo music playing ]

>> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live! game night" are brought to you by skype -- bringing people together whenever they are apart. for more information, go to skype.com. [ soft conversation, tools whirring ] question. probe, prod, and look. build your dream. find your nook. what's your nook? nook tablet. get it at your neighborhood barnes & noble.

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[ cheers and applause ] [ up-tempo music playing ] >> jimmy: hi, there. while not technically a professional basketball player, our guest tonight is tall and looks great in a pair of shorts. he has two shows on tv -- "the soup" and "community" -- and starting june 29th, you can see him opposite mark wahlberg, mila kunis, and a talking bear in the new movie "ted." please welcome joel mchale. [ cheers and applause ] >> hi. >> jimmy: thank you for coming, and i'm particularly interested in your take on this nba playoff series because you're from seattle. you're a seattleite. >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: and the oklahoma city thunder was in seattle as the supersonics, and they abandoned you. are you upset about that? >> what?! no, uh... yeah, no, it is a little -- it's weird, but people in seattle were like, "how dare you do this, oklahoma?"

but it wasn't like the owners had a gun to their head. that's who they should have been mad at 'cause they just sold the team and -- yeah, thanks, guys. thanks a lot. no, but i really, truly am happy for -- >> jimmy: you are? >> i really am, yeah. it's great. >> jimmy: were you a big fan of the sonics growing up? >> huge, yes. >> jimmy: oh, you were. okay. >> and i was there for the big championship in '78-'79, jack sikma and -- >> jimmy: you were there at the game? >> i was playing, and... >> jimmy: wow. >> ...i was the only 6-year-old on the team. i was -- i sucked. no, uh, but they -- i love the team, and i used to go to the boys & girls club all the time, still do. and -- [ laughter ] just, you know, randomly i show up. no, but the sonics had this mascot that was really intimidating. it was called the wheedle. >> jimmy: the wheedle. >> none of you have heard of the wheedle becau-- now all mascot wear, you know, stretchy suits, and they jump on trampolines and dunk the ball. this one could barely move. this of like the philadelphia -- >> jimmy: oh, there's the wheedle. >> wow, that was quick. there it is. see? >> jimmy: it looks like a

muskrat or something. >> that's like eight feet tall, and that head's about a five -- so, the wheedle came to the boys & girls club where i used to hang out, and for whatever reason, they thought -- oh, and the other thing about the wheedle -- the wheedle had a huge tube coming -- like a pvc pipe that just drips saliva. really awesome, huge crazy eyes, and then they said, "we should all play tag." and we were running around with this poor man in there, and he proceeded to fall on me. and you know that moment when your head is being crushed and you think, "my head has almost reached the point where it will snap?" that is what -- when i felt the fur and the saliva dripping on me, i thought, "this is how i'm gonna die." >> jimmy: they call that the squashing point. >> right, the squashing point. so, after that, they lifted the wheedle off me to see if i was alive. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and then we continued the game, and it was very spirited because kids were running for their lives and -- >> jimmy: i would run from this thing, too. >> i mean, look at that thing. >> jimmy: it's not even cute. it just looks like a -- >> it looks like an obese, like, house mom who's grown hair.

>> jimmy: and what's -- and what's going on in the wheedle's -- >> look how dreamy the eyes are, like, intimidating, intimidating, and then, like, "hi, i'm going to kill you. this will be the last thing you see before my toxic spit, you know, drops -- >> jimmy: what's going in the wheedle's shorts there, too? there's something menacing happening. >> oh, if you pull those shorts down, huge, huge, huge [bleep] did you play -- sorry. this is an 8:00 show. >> jimmy: did you play basketball? >> i did. i did. i played in high school. i played at mercer island high school in washington. >> jimmy: oh. >> and i -- >> jimmy: were you a good player? >> i was good to a point, and then i would just play dirty. and i'm not proud of it. i would just whisper very provocative sexual things to -- no, uh, but i had to abandoned my dirty ways because i one time -- you know when you're -- you know -- no, this guy was falling out of bounds. we were playing a game, and they throw the ball at you to bounce it off of you, so the ball goes out, and it's their ball. >> jimmy: yeah, it's a jerky move.

>> yes, it's a jerky move. i caught the ball, and in my turnaround to pass the ball as my team broke, he feel down in a total spread eagle. and i pivoted back and went like that so i could crush his balls. >> jimmy: oh, on purpose? >> on purpose, and i'm a horrible person. and then, of course, the coach showed us the game tape, and he's like, "watch mchale here." and -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> the whole -- i felt -- the whole guy's body -- he like fell out of bounds. he's like, "i'm out of the play." and then it was just this spasm of pain. and i felt terrible, but at the same time, i was like, "well, now it's 4-on-5." and, yeah, so, i promise, if we ever play, i will not stop on your balls. >> jimmy: well, thank you for not stepping on my testicles. i appreciate that. just in general, i should say that to people. now, you're in this movie, and this, by the way, is a very funny movie. >> you saw it? >> jimmy: yeah, i did see it. >> "oh, no, i totally saw it." >> jimmy: [ laughs ] >> "it's so good." >> jimmy: it's called "ted," and it is mark wahlberg and mila kunis. did you enjoy working with them?

>> nope. they're bad. no, uh -- they're horrible people. no, uh -- yeah, my job was to try and get together with mila kunis, so very difficult task. >> jimmy: in the movie, not in real life. >> not in real life. i'm married. and -- no, but mark wahlberg, who is a superstar -- we shot a scene -- the first night i met him, we shot this party scene. and seth macfarlane, who wrote and directed it -- the genius, seth macfarlane -- he was like, "just, you know, improvise." and i'm a horrible person in this movie. i step on people's balls everywhere. so, i was just like, "all right." so, i started making short jokes to mark wahlberg. it's the only advantage i have over him. [ laughter ] so, i'd be like, "frodo, how are you, man?" and i felt like -- "hey, squirt." and i was -- >> jimmy: we actually have that particular scene here. >> that's so great that made it in. >> jimmy: yeah, well, here it is. this movie's called "ted." it opens june 29th. i can't wait to see it. >> i'm really glad that you came. >> me too. >> yeah? >> is it okay if i kick your

boss's ass? i mean, that won't affect your workplace chemistry, will it? >> please play nice. >> for you, i will. >> thank you. >> anything. >> anything. >> there she is. i was worried you weren't coming. heya, squirt. how you doing? where's your bunny rabbit? >> he's a bear. >> got it. [ high-pitched voice ] oh, my god, this house is huge. [ normal voice ] i know. try not to get lost. come on in. >> jimmy: that's joel mchale in "ted." joel, when we come back, we're gonna put your basketball balling skills to the test. >> i will not step on your balls. >> jimmy: all right, as joel takes a 3-point challenge on behalf of our audience. we'll be right back with joel mchale. [ cheers and applause ] [ up-tempo music playing ] ♪

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pre-order it from retailers, including the microsoft store. >> jimmy: however, joel, if you do not make this shot, the s no. some of them may get violent. some of them may cry. and it will all be your fault. are you ready? >> i am ready. >> jimmy: all right, everybody, let's cheer joel on. he's doing this for you. [ cheers and applause ] joel mchale for a regular 3-pointer. and... [ crowd ohhs ] oh, so close! let's look at the instant replay. so close. joel puts it up. it hits the back of the rim and unfortunately does not go in, but i want to thank you, joel. joel's movie "ted" comes out on i want to thank mike tyson and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. join us for a new show tonight at our regular time after "nightline," with jada pinkett smith, matt kemp, and music from the temper trap. stay tuned for game 2 of the nba finals on abc. >> that was a foul. that was a foul. [ cheers and applause ]