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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  June 15, 2012 12:00am-1:05am PDT

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we'll see you here tomorrow. >> announcer: up next on an all new "jimmy kimmel live" 66 years ago today donald trump was born in a small hospital in kenya -- maybe i'm getting my stories -- >> jada pinkett smith. >> you forgot your pants. >> i did. >> and matt kemp. >> i wish i wasn't so fast i would be playing right now. >> i feel the same way. i wish i could slow down a bit. >> and unnecessary censorship. >> i think i
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>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a word about the new movie "that's my boy," opening all across america this friday, june 15, starring adam sandler, andy samberg, and leighton meester, and a lot of great celebrity cameos, not including this. >> sandler: you screwed up my cake. you screwed up my cake. it's me, it's me. >> sandler: you screwed up my cake. you screwed up my cake. it's me, it's me. can i come in? >> guillermo: oh, of course mr. adam sandler. >> sandler: what was she yelling at? what'd you do wrong? >> guillermo: who? my fiancé in this movie? she got mad because i washed white dress with my red shorts, like i care. >> sandler: oh, really? are you sure she's not stressed about maybe sex or something? >> guillermo: oh no. i do sex very very very good. >> sandler: you wear a bathing
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suit in the shower? >> guillermo: i know what you want. maybe you like this better. >> sandler: oh my god, oh my god. >> guillermo: mr. adam sandler, you hurt guillermito's feelings. not cool. >> announcer: "that's my boy" starring adam sandler and andy samberg opens this friday everywhere. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with jada pinkett smith, matt kemp and music from the temper trap. [ male announcer ] it's back again at red lobster,
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go ahead. cheat on butter. >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, jada pinkett smith. l-a dodger matt kemp. and music from the temper trap. with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel!
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i wish each of you a happy flag day. that commemorates the adoption of the american flag by angelina jolie back in 1977. it's a day in which we honor the symbol of our nation and the 8-year-old chinese kids who make them for us. for a nickel a piece. i used to enjoy flag day but it's become so commercialized. i prefer to celebrate a different holiday and that holiday is donald trump's
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birthday. 66 years ago today, donald trump was born in a small hospital in kenya or -- maybe i'm getting my stories plixed up. from a guy who's head who looks wlierk it came from the wooly mammoth from the museum of history he's doing all right. it's hard to find him a gift but i find a good one. the one thing he doesn't have, i gave him an "inside voice." father's day is on sunday. i hope -- or as i like it, act like you're excited when your kids give you a picture of their hand prints day. i think dads shouldn't get lumped in with grads day. a lot of people myself included struggle to figure out what to get dad for father's day. dadtion don't really want anything and if you do buy them something i had's with their money. so i have an idea that won't cost you a dime.
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an appearance on national television. this father's day i issued a youtube challenge. from time to time i'll ask viewers to pull a prank on their loved ones and tape it and i'll put it on youtube. this time your mission is to spray dad with a hose. do it, tape it, and upload it to youtube with the title hey, jimmy kimmel, i sprayed my dad with a hose. try to do it like tomorrow or tonight if you want it to air on father's day. so grab a hose now and let dad have it. the lawyers have asked me to ask you to the to hurt anyone or damage any property or give your father herpes or inning like that. anybody watch "game of thrones?" the creators of the show had
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some dvd commentary that one of the decapitated heads and there's a lot of decapitated heads and one of the heads, this head is a replica of president bush's head. it's the made of george bush with the hair of billy ray cyrus or something. from when he toured with motley crew, the producers said they were not trying to make a political statement but they're on a budget and had to use whatever fake heads they had lying around which makes me wonder why they would have a george bush head lying around. i must have missed that episode of "entourage." hbo issued an apology. we're sorry this happened and have it removed from any dvd production. we now return you to li dunnham.
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kerry bradshaw never had one black friend in six seasons of sex in the city. and i have exciting news for fans of the octomom. really? publicity shots from her upcoming adult film have been released. maybe rick santorum was on to something with that banning porn idea. the movie is called "octomom home alone" because the thought of seeing her naked makes you do this. it costs $25 to watch it online or $50 not to watch it. just a recap. a mentally unhinged woman with six kids was age to convince a doctor with a bunch of frozen embryos and gave birth to eight more kids and now she's making porn to feed them. good deal. even though i'm sure you're dying to see the pictures we can't show you them but we'll
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show you what people here in hollywood reacted when we showed them the pictures. >> are you familiar with the octomom? >> yeah, the lady with all the kids. >> she recently made a porn film and some of the photos were leaked to the internet. i want to get your reaction. you can just flip through those. >> sexy right there. she's all right, damn! is that her stomach? oh, man --! oh, my god -- oh, my god, okay, okay, okay! you're tripping me out. is that a man or a woman? >> oh, oh! holy -- >> ew! oh, what's that? >> oh, my god!
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>> uuuuuuuh -- oh, my god. this is bad! >> i never thought i'd say this but i think -- the stanley cup parade, rolling through the streets. inside the staples center they had a big championship rally. the kings' grit goalie and mvp jonathan quick took the microphone to address the adoring crowd and evidently someone forgot to inform him he would be on television. >> thank you so much, [ bleep ]. how about this [bleep]ing team right here.
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>> i want to apologize for the bad language of jonathan quick. >> jimmy:eling where in the world of sports, the u.s. open golf championship teed off. after the first round, tiger woods is currently tied for second place. someone who didn't have sex with everyone is in first. i don't know what his name is. there were many amazing feats of athleticism displayed today but we only have time for one and that honor goes to davis love the iii who had the u.s. open play of the day. >> davis love for birdie. >> you see it in slow motion. in other boring sports news lance armstrong may be in
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trouble again. the u.s. anti-doping agency -- i didn't know behad one of those -- has formally accused him of using performance enhancing drugs. federal authorities got suspicious when they noticed an american was exercising and the charges immediately banned armstrong from competing in triathlons and if he's ultimately found gill pi he could be stripped of his victories and banned from professional cycling for life. this is a man with one test cal and i don't want to believe that lance armstrong was using. i'm skeptical of the charges until i saw the comparisons. they did a video comparison of him before and after the alleged doping. here'ser here he is after he allegedly used performance enhancing drugs. here he is before the
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allegations were made. from the tour de sweat pants. you see a noticeable difference. here's the u.s. anti-doping agency. snoop dogg. >> the down g news network and in his latest installment he explored the sexual harassment allegations made against john travolta and this is something that wolf blitzer cannot do. >> the dude is saying that john travolta fondled his balls while he was massaging john travolta. so he was getting a massage and rubbing his balls at the same damn time. is that true? at the same damn time? at the same damn time? getting a massage and rubbing his balls at the same -- getting
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the massage at same time damn time. john travolta. in the massage rubbing balls at the same damn time. at the same damn time. that's some crazy [ bleep ] but if that's what he did, that's what he did. at the same damn time! >> that's called multitasking. the thing about snoop, he finds inspiration everywhere he looks. >> apple computers have been holding their yearly worldwide developers conference in san francisco and on monday they unveiled a slew of exciting new things including updated mac book pro with a new operating system for the ipad and the iphone and it has new features. they have turn by turn navigation and a do not disturb mode where your phone will take messages but won't ring and another new feature that's the
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most areasful of all especially if light of all the nude cell phone images showing up online lately. >> send the picture i just took to david. >> i'm sorry, courtney i'm afraid i can't do that. >> what are you talking about, just send it now. >> no [bleep]ing way. >> i don't care. send it now you bitch. >> you're off bitch and you look like a whore with your boob hanging out. you think dave wants to marry a whore? go to bed. >> where's my xanax? >> i found four xanax in your mom's medicine cabinet.
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>> jimmy: time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blurb things. this is this week's "unnecessary censorship." there's a difference between guardsing the guy or making the guy [ bleep ] you. last night they voted to [ bleep ] people who areas profanity in public. >> you may not have been born a rock star, we're going to make you [bleep]ing like a star. >> any concerns i had about this spiderman rig failing have been overshadowed by the searing pain in my [ bleep ]. >> recently arm strompk told men's journal magazine i'm done [bleep]ing. i've moved on. >> i can't believe i get paid to
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say this i think i got an award for my [bleep]ing black ass. >> you look snooshl jackpot worth $10,200. >> [bleep]ing through the 4th. >> that's it! . >> jimmy: we'll be right back with jada pinkett smith. stick around. of all the brands of cars being sold in america, one company goes further, ford. with plug-in hybrids projected to take you over 100 mpge, innovative ecoboost engines - combining power and efficiency,
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♪ >> jimmy: tonight on the program center fielder for the la dodgers, the great matt kemp is here.
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and then with music from this new self-titled album, all the way from australia, the temper trap from the bud light outdoor stage. you can see them live at the palladium theater here in hollywood tomorrow night. make sure to watch us in primetime on sunday for our jimmy kimmel live game night special with our guest tracy morgan. and guillermo interviews the heat and the thunder. that is before game 3 of the nba finals and after on the west coast. >> jimmy: our first guest is the proud matriarch of a simple family whose home movies are released in imax and in 3d. you can see her now, cast against type as a hippo in the number one movie in america, "madagascar 3: europe's most wanted." everybody stand back. i got this!
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never mind. >> jimmy: please welcome jada pinkett smith. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: welcome. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you forgot your pants? >> i did! i did. >> thank you for forgetting your pants. >> he's holding them back there, my husband. >> jimmy: how are you? >> everything is going fantastic. how is everything going with you? >> jimmy: fine. thank you for asking. no one ever asks me. >> i care. i want to know how you're doing. >> jimmy: thank you for feigning like you care. [laughs]. >> so your husband will is backstage. it's nice he comes with you. you think this sort of thing would be like, you go to your thing, i'll go to my thing. >> question get a lot of time in
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the car. it's like 1:50 minutes. he drives in the car with me. >> jimmy: the kids don't like doing this stort of thing. >> no. >> jimmy: are you all together now because your family, there's too much work going on. >>er a all in l.a. together right now. it's not going to last long, but we are all here right now. >> jimmy: who takes off first? who is the next to leave. >> it will be will and i. >> jimmy: the kids fend for themselves? >> basically. they got it. they're good. >> jimmy: here is the number for pizza. >> just in case emergencies. >> jimmy: get chinese food. >> make sure to lock the doors at night. >> jimmy: we'll be back in eight weeks. >> what about father's day? will you be together for father's day? >> we're thinking about taking our eldest, tray, with us on a little golf vacation. >> jimmy: that would be nice. >> yeah. sometimes you have to take one at a time. >> jimmy: i got you.
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will you buy stuff for will? you have to buy him line a hovercraft? >> he's not really a things guy. you know what i have to do, sometimes he gets kind of passionate about certain subjects. so i have to do things like, let's say, chess for instance. >> this is a whole different area. >> i'll call the world chess player. hey, can you come play chess with my husband for father's day? >> jimmy: wow! you bring someone to kick his ass on father's day. >> he really appreciates that. [laughs]. >> jimmy: is there something like that that you're thinking. it woun ruin rit. >> he's here. i can't. >> jimmy: what if these people refuse? will you have them kidnapped or brought to you? >> there's no no. there's no no. that doesn't happen. >> jimmy: i imagine that's fun for them. >> you get a phone call, will smith wants to play chess with
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you? >> i would assume it was a prank. ashton kucher was on the other side with justin bieber. >> no, no. >> jimmy: the children, do they make gifts is that traditional kind of thing? >> you know what makes gifts, willow. willow makes gifts. she'll leave little notes around the hois. i have a note ch you have to find it. it's like a little hunt. >> jimmy: that's cute. >> the boys for father's day usually get pound. you're a good dad. you're fun. >> jimmy: boys are bad like that. it's interesting. >> you know, i think guys just tend to put different values in different things. they know he's a good dad. >> jimmy: he doesn't find? >> he was the same way. >> jimmy: the last time you were here, jaden just made the ka raty kid. has he hired someone to do those for him.
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>> basically. >> jimmy: willow is a big star also. is she -- have you lost control of the house? >> you know, it's interesting. they're free spishts. i don't know if you heard that story, that happened when we went to the white house with jaden. >> jimmy: no, what happened? >> with our president, when he. >> jimmy: president obama. >> yes. of course. he said he was going to ask him about aliens. >> jimmy: that's what i would want to ask him about. >> we're on our way, i'm going to ask the president about aliens. >> jaden, do not. do not do that. okay? >> jimmy: you know, that's where i would say ask him about aliens. he might tell you because you're a kid. >> exactly. what's my punishment? >> i can't get creative enough. don't do it. we get. >> jimmy: that's a treasure. >> he establishes what the punishment will be in advance of the crime. >> exactly. he's a master negotiators. okay? so we get there, and you know t
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president is showing us the war room and everything, and jaden says, mr. president, i have something to ask, immediately will and i are like -- start to give him the evil mom look. and the president looks to him and says, you want to know about aliens, don't you? he knew. isn't that crazy? he knew. >> jimmy: that means there are aliens. >> maybe. but he sure didn't tell us whether there were or not. >> jimmy: he didn't? he didn't. >> he said it's confidential. >> jimmy: he did not give him no? >> he said it's confidential. i don't know if it's a yes or no. he didn't answer. >> jimmy: what did jaden say afterwards? did he feel encourages? what a minute, his dad is an alien. i just saw the movie. >> exactly. >> jimmy: he has to point that thing at him. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: a lot of people know this about you, i think people know that you have fans and you sing and that sort of thing, but
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that you toured with ozzie os bourn. >> that i was on oz fest. >> jimmy: how did that happen? >> sharon oz bourn came to see my band and i in l.a. she invited us on oz fest. i took the invitation and it was rough. it was really rough. it was rough. at first, you know, i got tons of death threats, tons and tons the and tons of death threats. i went any way. >> jimmy: from here? >> no. [laughs]. >> i had my kids with me the whole time. >> jimmy: great. i remember going to oz fest with my dad. >> you know, it was a good expeeps for them, because what i realized is that once you have the opportunity to be introduced to a totally different culture, you get to understand what's real and what was real was not those death threats. i had such a great time. i made so many friends. and they -- i think that's how they got the bug to really want
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to perform. >> jimmy: from oz fest? may god bless us all. we're going to take a break. jada pink et smith is here. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: portions of "jimmy kimmel l woo! played "pin the tail on the donkey"
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, guests.
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more with jada pinkett smith. she is also an nba team owner. part owner of the philadelphiaer 76ers. how does that happen? >> they invite us to own part of team. we have a great opportunity here but we have to do it as a family. so. >> jimmy: who would be a hold out for that? i mean, my dad -- we would have a meeting about buying a basketball. and we would all be for it. >> of course we were all superexcited. >> jimmy: oh yeah! >> yeah. >> jimmy: what do you get? >> you get awesome seats. >> jimmy: that's good. you don't have to pay for them. it's part of the deal? >> it's part of the deal. >> jimmy: people are excited to have you there. you may have gotten ripped off
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on that one. >> that's true. you might have a point. i do now vu to watch the game sitting on my hands basically. you know, i remember i was sitting there with will, you know, defense? what the -- babe, we get fined for stuff like that now. >> jimmy: that's right. >> you can't blurt things out. you mean to tell me i can't enjoy the game? you know? it's cool, though. >> jimmy: you could get fined, wouldn't it? >> yeah. mark cuben gets fined all the time. you get a full fine if you're part owner or do the other owners have to pay half of it. >> you get the full fine. >> jimmy: you sure you get fined. maybe will just said that to get you quieted down during the game. >> that could be a trick too. >> jimmy: you went to can or kaun? >> either one. you went to both of those? >> yes, i did. >> jimmy: to promote this movie.
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i assume you had been there before. >> i actually went when i was 21 was my first time going for man nas for society. with the hughes brothers. very long time ago. it was much different than what it's like now. >> jimmy: you're playing your cartoon hippo was different. >> i was young. i'm there, got ripped up jeans, i mean, i don't even want to tell you, okay t outfit i wore on the red carpet. i'm so glad there are no pictures that can be found. >> jimmy: are you sure? >> i am positive. i'm sure if there were, you would have them. you can't find them. >> jimmy: you can't how do you know? >> yes, i have looked for them myself. just to mike sure. >> jimmy: anybody has them, please, we need them. i think it's something you should have just to show you how far you've come. >> i have some. >> jimmy: you have some. >> you just can't get them.
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>> jimmy: although their son knows karate, so be careful. >> they are not online, thank goodness. geez. >> jimmy: we will look for those. next time you're here, we'll reveal tome the world. very good to see you. >> jimmy: jada pinkett smith! "madagascar 3: europe's most wanted" is in theaters now. we'll be right back with matt kemp from the la dodgers. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: download music from tonight's artist on itunes.com/the temper trap. paper sanding, and bits turning. let's motor to the only place that carries our favorite tools... for our favorite people... armed with a budget and a mission... and see what happens when we put those tools to work for us.
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♪ >> announcer: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series, sponsored by bud light. to stream off-air performances and other music videos, go to jimmykimmellive.com.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest was leading the national league in home runs before he went on the disabled list to let the other guys catch up. he is the best hitter on the best team in baseball. from your los angeles dodgers, please welcome matt kemp. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> good. >> jimmy: how is your hamstring. >> i feel great. how much longer, you think? the doctors decide that.
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>> they're not telling me. they keep it a secret. >> jimmy: off tend stoi go back before you're read driveway go. yeah. >> jimmy: do you think that's a good idea? you want to get out there in the short-term, but in the long-term it's a bad idea. >> i should have waited a little bit longer. i love playing baseball. >> jimmy: does it make your crazy sitting there watching this? >> i hate watching baseball. i love to play it, but i hate watching it. >> jimmy: the team is playing well without you, does that bother you? >> we have the best record -- you cut me off. maybe i should stay on the disabled list and let them keep playing waiving my towel and screaming like a little girl in the dugout is doing good. >> jimmy: you said you want to be the greatest player of all times. >> yeah, i do. >> jimmy: what happens if you
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wind up the third greatest player, would you be disappointed. >> i would settle for third. >> jimmy: it seems much more likely to happen for you. >> i think i'm a little bit more athletic than you. i think i'm -- >> jimmy: that's interesting you say that, because i believe we have some video tape. >> look at that. >> jimmy: jon if you noticed, that ball went over the fence. >> i eat my words. my fault. >> jimmy: you know what, i just would like you to consider me. i know you're the captain of the all-star home run derby team. you get the picks the guys. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you want to be in that position? >> i get to picks the guys u i want. >> jimmy: are you going to pick your friends or the ones that can help you win.
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>> i'm going to pick the guys i like. >> jimmy: have they been lobbying. >> text messages, twitter, e-mail. >> jimmy: you take that into account, begging, is a that a positive. >> i'm set on who i want. stop texting and calling. >> jimmy: all tiemts. i heard you wanted to pick andre? >> i got a couple other people. >> are your teammates going to be upset if you don't pick them? >> i thought about gordon, but i was like, i don't think he'll hit too many home runs. >> jimmy: maybe he would surprise you. >> we're good. >> jimmy: last year you hit 39 home runs, stole 30 bases, very, very rare that a player would get that many. you're very fast. mostly power hitters aren't -- >> i wish i wasn't so fast. i would be playing right now. >> jimmy: i feel the same way.
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slow down a little bit. is that important to you, hitting 50 home runs and stealing 50 bases something you have your mind set on? >> i think if i do that, we get to the world series. definitely -- >> jimmy: i think you will too. at least you get the ball and steal the the ball in two weeks time. >> that would be impossible. >> jimmy: it's harder to steal when you're hitting that many home runs. >> it's harder. >> jimmy: you can't steal from home, you know? >> everybody hitting me on twitter, you need to steal more bases. dude, i'm hitting home runs. we're winning games. you want me to steal bases or home runs? >> jimmy: there's a lot of talking that goes on usually between the runner and first baseman. what do you guys talk about? >> your favorite food. >> jimmy: is that mundane? >> we talk -- you know, you ask how your family doing. depends on what type of relationship you have with that first baseman. that might be one out of your
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best friends moch might be somebody you don't like. you might not say too much. i'm about to steal this base right here. are you dealing? sno and then i go. >> jimmy: they ask you if you're going to steal the base? are you honest with them. >> not all the time. >> jimmy: baseball is like no other sport in that way, just chitchat. >> we have a lot f fun. i've been playing since i'm 4-year-olds. i'll be going out there and laughing and doing all the things i want to do. >> jimmy: i have some photographs from you from a magazine. what did the photographer say to you to get you into this position? >> be mad. i was manly right there.
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go to the next picture. >> jimmy: i know you'll be excited about this one too. in this one. >> you're killing me. >> jimmy: i will again point out you are the one that posed for this photograph. >> girls liked it. >> jimmy: this is what that shows is off your -- >> i got a lot for this. they hit me hard for this. every teammate on the team posed the same way. and they put it on a poster board in spring training room. it's pretty because we have some bigger heavy set guys and -- yeah. actually one of my teammates was in the bathroom missing and doing that same pose. >> jimmy: that's how i do it too. i heard you have 300 pairs of shoes. is that true? >> i think i have more. >> jimmy: more. you only have two feet as far as i've noticed. >> i love shoes.
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>> jimmy: do people send them to you or you buy them? >> both. >> jimmy: you gou to payless. >> i used to get some shoes from payless. i started playing baseball and get me some more shoes. >> jimmy: your contract is -- when you're an athlete, everyone knows how much you make. just from baseball alone, eight years $20 million a year. that's $160 million. that's we find out and hear, i would imagine, you have a conversation with your agent, he says, okay, this is the deal. what goes through your head. >> most of the agents are like, that's not enough. we need more. i was like, i think i can live with 160 million. i mean, that happened all so fast. they came with that deal. i signed it. i love l.a. i wanted to be here. >> jimmy: you could settle for 20 million.
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you are a an american hero. is there something you bought right away? did you go out and go crazy. >> no. because i had a little bit of money before i got the $160 million. i got some toys in my garage. i got some shoes and clothes. but, you know, just about it. i take care of my mom. she's pretty well taken care of. >> jimmy: you better, right? >> she live here in l.a. >> i moved here out here to keep me out of trouble. >> jimmy: does he do that? >> she's styling and got her hair done and nails done. >> jimmy: does she come to your games. >> she comes to every game. >> jimmy: is that a great thing? >> i love my mom, guys. [ cheers and applause ] hope you're back on the field soon. congratulations on all your success. >> jimmy: matt kemp! watch matt in the state farm home run derby july 9th on espn. when we come back, music from the temper trap. [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ jimmy live con vertd series sponsored by bud light >> jimmy: this is the new self titled album. here with the song "trembling hands," the temper trap. [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ ♪ ooh ♪ ooh ♪ treading the ground i once used to know people are strangers the same as before ♪ ♪ the streets look familiar i remember the park where i buried my head ♪ ♪ so deep in my hands all around me was dark ♪ ♪ this here city
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aam on my own ♪ close your eyes snoeds ♪ throw me a line i'm afraid that i have come here to win you again with trembling hands ♪ ♪ ooh ♪ passing the days looking over the buildings time seemed to stop while the millions keep moving ♪ ♪ now here i am i'm a drop in your ocean a noise in the crowd pushing ♪ ♪ through your halls of reason ♪ ♪ so throw me a line somebody out there help me i'm on my own ♪ i'm on my own ♪
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♪ throw me a line i'm afraid that i have come here to win you again with trembling hands ♪ ♪ hear me now make me whole whole ♪ ♪ hear me now make me whole whole ♪ ♪ so throw me a line somebody out there help me i'm on my own i'm on my own ♪

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