>> jimmy: what's the problem, guillermo. >> guillermo: i had a strange dream. >> jimmy: a strange dream. that sounds dangerous and exciting. >> guillermo: it was. i was at a cheesecake factory and i ate oreo cheesecake. >> jimmy: have you been in mommy's medicine cabinet again? >> guillermo: no. it was real. my cheesecake had a lot of oreo cookies and oreo cookies and it was true, bro. >> jimmy: don't call me bro. it was not a dream, it wasn't a

dream at all. it's real. you're supposed to say no way. >> guillermo: no way. >> jimmy: seriously. the cheesecake factory is introducing the or owe dream on july 0th. since july 309 is national cheesecake day, they're offering any slice at half price for dine-inguests. >> guillermo: am i dreaming right now? >> jimmy: no. this is real. here. touch my stomach. >> guillermo: wow. this is real. >> jimmy: put on some underpants and let's go fill this up. >> dicky: dine with us on july 30th for national cheesecake day and get any slice for half price, including brand new oreo cheesecake. >> jimmy: back in two minutes with charlie sheen, snooki and

music from joe cocker and huey lewis. siri, what's my day look like?

[siri] another busy day today. are you serious? [siri] yes i'm not allowed to be frivolous. ah ok, move my 4 o'clock today to tomorrow. change my 11am to 2. [siri] ok marty, i scheduled it for today. is that rick? where's rick? [siri] here's rick. oh, no that's not rick. now, how's the traffic headed downtown? [siri] here's the traffic. ah, it's terrible, terrible! driver, driver! cut across, cut across, we'll never make it downtown this way. i like you siri, you're going places. [siri] i'll try to remember that.

>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- charlie sheen, nicole "snooki" polizzi, and music from joe cocker featuring huey lewis. with cleto and the cletones and now, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: hi, everyone. well, hello there. thank you very much. i'm jimmy and i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for being with us. we're all very lucky to be here tonight. first of all, we have not one

but two great musical guests performing together as they get set to tour the united states starting in dallas tomorrow, joe cocker and huey lewis. also tonight, i don't know if you can sense his presence, charlie sheen is in the building. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: it explains why there are no hookers left on hollywood boulevard. [laughs]. >> jimmy: and just in case charlie sheen isn't enough madness for you, snooki is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we probably should have invited dr. drew while we're at it. guillermo, are you prepared for this? >> guillermo: yes. [laughs] >> jimmy: very good. snooki, by the way, is extremely pregnant. and the last time charlie sheen was here, he kissed me. right directly on the mouth. tonight, if things go well, i

might let him get to second base. who knows how great would it be if snooki gave birth on our show and charlie sheen delivered the baby. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: since charlie and snooki are both here tonight, we came up with a fun game for you to play along with at home. i will read you a quote, a real quote, you have to guess whether it was uttered by snooki or sheen. our first quote is, who said the following, funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. you know? was that snooki or sheen? let's find out. >> sleep rhymes with sheep. >> jimmy: they're wrong right off the bat. next quote, last night was a shameful train wreck filled with like blind cuddly puppies. >> snooki. >> jimmy: snooki. let's have a look. >> it was a shameful train wreck

filled with like blind cuddly puppies. >> jimmy: all right. here is another one. i look like a hot drunk baseball player right now and i'm loving it. batter up, bitches. >> i look like a hot drunk baseball playing right now and i'm loving it. >> jimmy: charlie doesn't say that. we have two more. here we go. do everything you can, you know, have sex with an old man, and steal a plant and get aised and do everything to get arrested. snooki or charlie. let's see. >> snooki. >> do everything that you can, you know, have sex with an old man and steal a plant and then get arrested and then do whatever. >> jimmy: i would have had thought that having the sex with an old man would have tipped everyone out, but apparently not. here is our final quote, this is the hardest one, my passion is

to poop and pee everyone and go grocery store? >> snooki. >> jimmy: let's find out. we're mixed. >> my passion is to poop and pee everyone. >> with droopy eyed armless children. >> that's cha-nooki, everyone. [ applause ]. >> jimmy: for the first time ever, canadians are wealthier than americans. a new study find that out. i knew we had some of you in here. we are their mexico, it turns out. over the past five years, the value of the average canadian household has risen above the average american household. in 2011, $40,000 more than than ours was earned. most of that came from justin

bieber and he belongs to us now. needless to say, these money-grubbing canadians are doing everything they can to rub it in. >> hey, usa, canada here. yeah, up here. for years, you made jokes about us. we're a bunch of mownties. we love hockey and bacon. well, guess what, we're worth more than you now. that's right a bunch of maple syrup guzzling socialists is worth more than you americans and we're above you. that means we can pee on you too. so suck it, ah? a friendly message from your neighbor to the north. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: good for you, canada. they know we have weapons, right? some people might say, who cares that canada is richer than us. we lead ours, they lead theirs. one doesn't affect the others. i am not one of those people. i make problems.

i don't solve them. i have a plan that i think could tip the scales back in our favor. i would like everyone here in the studio audience, everyone american to stand up. canadians can remain seated. americans only. what we'll do is on the count of three, we're all going to jump up for ten full seconds. okay? if we all do this at once and my calculations are correct, the force of our jumping will create a tremor should dislodge canada's loose change and rain down here on us america. ready? [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: on three, three, two, one. jump, everyone. jump! jumping. good. guillermo has his gun. i think it's working. all right. now, everyone, stop.

give it a few seconds. [laughs]. >> jimmy: hold on. let me get my money bucket. [laughs]. >> jimmy: it could be any second. [laughs]. >> jimmy: okay. i guess it didn't work. [ applause ]. >> jimmy: i guess we'll have to borrow more money from china. it was some good exercise. all you care about is money, canadians. speaking of canadians, guillermo, you came up with some -- you're canadian, right? wait a minute. put down the gun, please. it's alarming me. the joke was ten minutes ago. >> guillermo: okay. >> jimmy: guillermo came up with some interesting tweets last night. he has two kinds of tweets. one -- some of them are about food and the others are things like this last night 11:11 p.m.,

guillermo tweeted, don't trust every smile you meet. okay, friends? so give me an example of a smile you met that you can't trust. what happened? >> guillermo: don't trust me when i smile. >> jimmy: was there someone specific that you were thinking of? >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: who was it? >> guillermo: my mother-in-law. >> jimmy: really? i'm surprised she even smiled, to be honest with you. five minutes later guillermo tweeted, not everybody that looks good to you is good for you. truth. okay. my friend. judging by your tweets, your life is like an episode of gossip girl. >> guillermo: a little bit. >> jimmy: guillermo; you remind me of dr. phil. you both have mus tachs and i can't understand what you're talking about. put the gun down, i told you. take it home for your mother-in-law. >> guillermo: oh, yeah.

>> jimmy: that that little orange this off, will you? >> guillermo: this one? >> jimmy: yeah. the olympics are only a week away. oh, it's a quarter from canada. you know, we'll chop this up into 200 pieces and give a piece of it to each of you. [ applause ]. >> jimmy: we're not really going to do that. we don't have the equipment. we'll do a load of canadian laundry. you can have that. as i was saying t olympics start next friday and the organizers are getting ready to hand out condoms. traditionally there's a lot of sex in the olympic vil yaj where the athletes live. they provide them with condoms. at the beijing olympics in 2008, they handed out 100,000 condoms. this year in london, it's been increased to 100,000 for the u.s. basketball team and 50,000 for everyone else.

the thing about it -- 150,000 works out to be about 15 condoms per competitor. if i had sex 15 times in the span of two weeks, i would feel like i deserved a gold medal too. [laughs]. >> jimmy: i disagree with the free condom policy. we have a full village of physically superior human beings. don't we want them to multiply? drop the free condoms off at comic-con. make balloons out of them or shotgun. there's a lot of concern about the weather in london. predicting it could be cold and wet. they pulled the women's beach volleyball team. the the weather falls below 60 degrees, tickets for women's beach volleyball is one of the most sought after. being a pervert is universal.

this is funny. the prime minister of england, david cameron, his home overlooks the volleyball court. i wonder how that happened. sir, where should we put the women's volleyball court, well, i do have a large backyard. just to give you an idea what the players might be wearing, here is a english volleyball player in the traditional olympic bikini. here she is in the cold weather uniform. also because of the cold weather, they can't keep the pools warm enough for the swimming, so they've had to make some adjustments. look at this. this is during the trials. the swimmers are wearing the new warmer, swimming parkas. compared to the traditional suits, they're much warmer. if you finish at all, they give you a medal. [laughs]. >> jimmy: it's thursday night and time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it

or not. it's this week in unnecessary censorship. enjoy. >> welcome to the bachelor et, the women tell all. who here would like to see emily [ bleep ] the love of her life? >> in chicago, they give grants to their friends that [ bleep ] [ bleep ] and that's what this president has done. >> again, jimmy kim kl, love that man. i feel embarrassed that i stuck my [ bleep ]. kind of gross. >> you're a clean person. >> strangest thing you've ever [ bleep ]. >> a shoe. >> it was a hand [ bleep ] causing a lot of talk. >> it's not a crime to [ bleep ] your wife, it's a crime if you actually kill her. >> i might end up [ bleep ] your [ bleep ] that's a possibility. >> you just [ bleep ] his wife in the face. >> it is absolutely illegal to [ bleep ] coyotes and/or wild animals. >> it is refreshing and cold. i makes me [ bleep ] a little bit, but it's cooling me down.

>> this is according to russia's mother. okay? quote he [ bleep ] everything. >> sara, head of the [ bleep ]. >> yeah, that's it. >> i'll open my gate so you can move along, but first you have to help me [ bleep ] my [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: tonight on the show, snooki is here. music from joe cocker and huey lewis and be right back with charlie sheen. so stick around. applebee's new seasonal berry and spinach salad is here, at the peak of the season, but did you know that the strawberry isn't actually a berry at all? it's an accessory fruit.

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♪ >> jimmy: what a lineup we have for you tonight! a miniature mother-to-be whom you know from both "jersey shore" and her new show "snooki and j-woww" on mtv -- nicole "snooki" polizzi is here. and then -- they are on tour together all

summer. you can see them live tomorrow night in dallas, july 28th in holmdel, nj and july 29th in wantagh, long island. joe cocker and huey lewis from the bud light stage. we've got a great line up for you next week. our guests are ben stiller, jeremy renner, colin farrell, jessica biel, aaron paul, rosemarie dewitt, "the bachelorette" emily maynard and whomever she picks. or doesn't pick. we don't know. we'll have music from nas, trey songz, the head and the heart and rick ross. our first guest is a tireless force of nature who took a brief hiatus from acting last year to go nuts. he is back now with a new show called "anger management." watch it thursdays at 9:30 on fx. please welcome charlie sheen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: how are you doing? all of the guests i say how are you doing. but to you i say, how are you doing, you know? >> i get that a lot. i'm like, how's it going, how's it going with you. what do you want to know? >> jimmy: last time you were here, you came out and kissed me on the mouth. you left. you never called. i mean, i heard nothing from you at all. and i just felt like i was getting mixed signals. that's all. you can't do that to people. >> how do you think i felt? >> jimmy: how did you feel. >> the phone works both ways, bro. >> jimmy: how did you rate me as far as my lips went? you've kissed a lot of people. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: there are areas for improvement.

i'm happy to work on them. >> very moisturized. >> jimmy: thank you. that's all natural. i put nothing on them. >> you followed my lead, which i always appreciate. you didn't try to force your issues on to me. >> jimmy: i felt like kissing you i got to makeout with a billion women all at once. [laughs]. >> jimmy: what's going on in your life? take me today, what did you do today from the time you woke up? >> i flew home from austin, texas. i shot -- i played the president in a film. >> jimmy: you played the president? >> yeah. i guess my dad wasn't available. >> jimmy: you're not black, how can you play the president? it doesn't make sense. [laughs]. >> jimmy: that's pretty good. you an your dad? >> i was there for one day. i drank, i swore. i smoked. i put a hit on a guy. i pulled a gun on a bad guy and had sex with four women first

day in the office. you guys have to see this movie. >> jimmy: i'm glad you're dialing in. i thought you said you did it for real, not the movie. >> the film is really good. >> jimmy: that's a good movie to be in for sure. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i read something i want to ask about. you were buying 4,000 lottery tickets a week. is that true? >> that was like a thousands years ago. it was back when it was going to the schools t money. >> jimmy: is it not anymore? >> no not anymore. they stopped that. i thought i had a shot at winning the damn thing. >> jimmy: i guess if you buy that many, you do have a shot. >> my mom walked in one day and said, honey, you already won the l-o otto, why are you playing in here? >> jimmy: thank you.

people would want kill you if you won the lottery. >> yeah. >> jimmy: they weren't scratch offs? >> didn't someone in texas win twice. >> jimmy: it didn't work out ultimately. i think it turned out to be a bad thing. you did a very nice thing with your money. you donated minimum of $1 million to the uso last week. >> i did. [ cheers and applause ]. >> thank you. >> jimmy: how does that work? >> thank you. >> jimmy: i know you tied it to the profits of your show "anger management." >> you guys have to make it a hit. >> jimmy: the more money you make t more money you'll donate, but the minimum of 1 million. >> it could be worth 3, 5, ten maybe. i wanted to give something asset mature for the guys out there doing the jobs that none of us want to do, who are the real heroes. >> jimmy: that is very nice thing to do. that's a lot of money for anybody. >> hey, man, you know. >> jimmy: speaking of money, we came across this. you are the owner of u.s. patent. >> i am, yes.

>> jimmy: i'm going to show. >> how did that happen, you wonder. >> jimmy: is this something you invented. you can see a drawing of it down there. there are some more -- >> if i would have known, i would have brought the prototype. >> i was in rehab and had ton of time on my hands, you know what, it's time to get to that invention. >> jimmy: what is this exactly? >> it's a chap stick dispenser or a lip balm dispenser. the chap stick container f you look at it, i have one on me, hasn't changed for 50 years. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. >> you don't have to do this while you're driving and the thing all that, so it actually it's with your thumb -- it's hot out here. the cap comes down like you can see in the illustration. >> jimmy: and then. >> this is how i made it great. blis text calls tonight, there's a window in the front. i'm the guy with the window in

chap stick. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're the guy who put window in chap stick. is there a holster? >> not yet. there's a thing for a lan yard. that way you can see when you're about to run out. >> jimmy: who do you call when you want to design something like? >> i met a guy who did -- i don't know, molding injections. whatever they call it. >> jimmy: you have a research and development team on your staff? >> no this guy is really smart. i wanted to make something better that use everybody and make it better for everybody else. >> jimmy: do you use the prototype? >> i bring it out at parties. >> jimmy: you have dialed it back. you have calmed down. >> i took this tube of chap stick, if you make these for seven cents, we'll buy it. i couldn't it down. >> jimmy: is that right? >> they passed. it's really hot in here. we'll take a break. when we come back, we want to ask you a question, true or false, you were happy that ashton kutcher did not get

nominated for an enemy today. we'll find out when we come back with charlie sheen. ♪ ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] gillette. the best a man can get. [ female announcer ] when a woman wears a pad, she can't always move the way she wants. that's why stayfree created

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♪ >> jimmy: we're back with charlie sheen. snooki is on the way. charlie, this show of yours,

"anger management" is your big comeback show after "two and a half men." you have a lot of family members working on this show. >> i do. >> jimmy: how many of your family members is working on this show? >> my brother ramon, my dad martin, my cousin, my nephew taylor. who have i forgotten? >> jimmy: that seems like a lot already. that seems like plenty. >> my mom stops by. >> jimmy: she's not on the payroll? >> no. >> jimmy: whose idea was it? >> it just worked out, you know. i got the job. everybody else was jobless. they said, can we join? i said, sure. >> jimmy: i see. they weren't jobless? >> no. of course your dad wasn't jobless. your dad does a guest shot on the show. >> he's in the tenth episode that we have on. he was on earlier this evening. >> jimmy: you have a good relationship with your ex now. it seemed like it was a terrible relationship to start off with. >> it was a bad relationship. we decided to marry, fix it through marriage. [laughs].

>> jimmy: do you have any goddesses living with you now. >> i don't. >> jimmy: you seem to have a number of steady girlfriends. >> i have nothing. >> jimmy: are you okay? >> things are great. i thought we could rekindle things. >> jimmy: i see. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: you've been on this show, you have more freedom? >> i do. it's not like we're live or anything. >> on fx. >> no, it's really nice that they really have a lot of respect for guys who have been doing this for 30 years and has something to contribute. >> jimmy: ashton kutcher, you wish him ill, true? >> no. he's doing the best he can. gosh. >> jimmy: isn't there some part of you, well, you know, i don't wish anything bad on the guy, it's not like i want him to do better than i do. >> when i heard about it, i felt bad for like a couple of seconds then not so bad anymore. [laughs].

>> that would have been a kick in the teeth. >> jimmy: john cryer, did you congratulate him? >> i am right now. >> jimmy: no food basket or anything like that in. >> you were there in your pajamas. >> jimmy: it was embarrassing. >> did you get the nod today? >> jimmy: we did get nominated. [ cheers and applause ]. >> good for you. that's great. >> jimmy: have you seen the show snooki is back stage. have you ever met snooki before? >> we just met. >> jimmy: have you seen jersey shore? >> a couple of times. i look you right in the eye when i lie. >> jimmy: it's okay. >> i saw it in passing. the kids are having a good time. they're having fun. all those hairdos and muscles and stuff. i don't know what people are watching. but they're being themselves. they're getting paid. only in america. it's pretty cool. >> jimmy: have you thought of

doing something like that, a reality show where the cameras are in this house of yours? we would love to know what's going on, really know what's going on in there. >> the mystery is over then, man. >> jimmy: it would have to be on cinemax. >> after 3:00 a.m. it's a pretty mellow, normal household. there's children, animals. my kids, my animals. [laughs]. >> my parents are there a lot. it's a really nice vibe there. >> jimmy: i'm glad everything is going well for you. in the show again, if you love america, you will watch "anger management" because the more money charlie makes, the more money uso gets. charlie sheen, everybody, we'll be right back with snooki. [ cheers and applause ]

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest has hours and hours of drunken, handcuffed and underpants-free home movies to share with her unborn son. she's the star of both "jersey shore" and "snooki & j-woww" on mtv. please welcome the very pregnant nicole "snooki" polizzi. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you really are pregnant? >> i know. >> jimmy: you never know. this is what happens when you dtf, you know? >> i know. what the hell? i never knew it would happen to me, but it did. >> jimmy: how is everything going, are you feeling well. >> it's good, but i have severe gas pains right now. >> jimmy: you do. >> but i won't do them on stage. you're good. it feels like i'm going to go in

labor. imagine. >> jimmy: no, i can't imagine. >> that would be cool. you would have to deliver him right here. >> jimmy: i would hope you would name him after me if i did indeed deliver the baby, would that be the case. >> maybe his confirmation name. >> jimmy: that's enough for me. if i delivered that kid, i want dr. jimmy kimmel snooki polizzi. when are you getting married, do you know? >> we don't have plans right now because we want to be good parents and take care of the child and then talk about the wedding. probably like a year. >> jimmy: are you going to have help taking care of the child? >> oh, yeah. his parents, he has a big family. my parents because we're going in blind. >> jimmy: were you nervous about telling your parents that you were pregnant? >> i didn't talk to my parents for a week, usually i talk to them a lot. they were like something is going on.

i called them. well, i went to the doctors, they're like, we already know. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you know that jionni was the father of the baby? >> of course. >> jimmy: i see the show and i don't know what the time line is here. >> yeah. the show is six months after that you guys see it. so it's definitely jionni or yours. [ cheers and applause ]. >> just kidding. >> jimmy: that would be quite a surprise. >> that would be awesome. >> jimmy: i don't know if you're aware of this, but i am a doctor. can i give a sonogram. >> are you going to show an um pa loom pa. >> jimmy: looks like everything is doing really well. it's the perfect size, seven months along. >> that's creepy. >> he's drinking beer. [laughs].

>> jimmy: how old do you think your son will be when he starts drinking? >> i have no idea. but, you know, everyone starts teenager, so. >> jimmy: you start as teenagers. seems to get younger and younger every year. right? >> i know. i had my first drink at 13. >> jimmy: that's reasonable, i think. >> what about you? >> jimmy: we were together. i was 15 probably. >> it was like the coolest thing ever. >> jimmy: kind of except for the vomiting, it was great. [laughs]. >> jimmy: you didn't drink at all during the last season of jersey shore. >> no. >> jimmy: does that make it less fun? >> i made my own fun, but it sucked to see my friends taking shots and having a good time. i'm like, cool, just sitting there. >> jimmy: did you like them as much when you weren't drunk. there's nothing worse than being the one sober person. >> i feel like drunk people are so annoying. i can't be around anyone that's drunk. now i know why people are annoyed with me.

i'm so annoying. >> jimmy: have you thought about circumcision, what are your feels on that? >> i want him circumcised. i want him to be laid. what is that? yeah. i want him to have a normal penis. [laughs]. >> jimmy: jionni is okay with this? >> yeah. odds are you're going to have a relatively small kid. >> very smart. i'm 4'9" he is 5'9" so we are legal midgets. we'll have a very tiny child. hopefully he will be a good wrestler or something. >> jimmy: or something. you get him on a horse early and he can be a jockey. that's a good thing because if you married shaq or something and you would have, you know a monster coming out of you. >> that's not okay. >> your infant would be the same size as you.

>> probably. i definitely want a small baby. we're small people. so. >> jimmy: you get married on television when you tie the knot? >> probably. you guys have seen everything else. why not? >> jimmy: have you decided on a god mother, god father. >> jenny is going to be the god mother so she can spoil him. and then jionni's brother is going to be the god father. >> jimmy: not one of the other guys in the house? >> no >> jimmy: is everybody getting along? do you keep in touch when you're not shooting the show. >> we try to, but just living together for two months straight, we take a break from talking to each other. it's like brothers and sisters, you're always up each other's asses. sorry. >> jimmy: i know what you mean. will they come to the hospital when you're delivering? >> i want them to. if they're in the area, they have to come and see the baby. >> jimmy: who will be in the delivery room with you? >> definitely jionni, i always want my mom when i don't feel

good. and maybe jenny to video tape for my personal reasons. >> only for me so i can show my kid when he's 16. >> jimmy: that is a nice present. everybody is excited. in a way, we feel like we're all a part of this and we all feel like we know you. so i went ahead and came up with a special gift for you because you have pretty much everything you might want, but i think this is something that you don't have for the baby. >> cool. >> jimmy: this is something that you will like. >> i'm scared. >> jimmy: it's nothing to fear. don't be scared. this is baby's first. >> that's cool! >> jimmy: gym, tan, and laundry. it's the baby's first gtl. >> is this real? >> jimmy: yeah, this is real. >> no, it's not. >> jimmy: we have a tanning booth here and then you have a dumbbell for the baby. he can do bench presses when he's really small and then you have this little laundry machine.

>> where's the hair gel? >> jimmy: it's gtl. no hair gel. that's sold separately. so we'll help you get this out. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ]. >> jimmy: congratulations. it's great to see you. again, snooki and j-woww airs thursday night at 10:00 on mtv and snooki's baby is coming to visit us all soon. we'll be back with music have joe cocker and huey lewis. >>

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>> dicky: is jimmy kimmel live concert series sponsored by bud light. >> jimmy: you can see them on tour together this summer. here performing the classic, "feelin' alright," joe cocker featuring huey lewis. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ seems i've got to have a change of scene every night i have the strangest dream ♪

♪ imprisoned by the way it could have been left here on my own or so it seems ♪ ♪ i've got to leave before i start to scream whoa someone locked the door and took the key ♪ ♪ you feelin' all right i'm not feelin' too good myself no ♪ ♪ you feelin' all right i'm not feelin' too good myself no ♪ ♪ boy you sure took me for one big ride and even now i sit and i wonder why ♪ ♪ that when i think of you i

start myself to cry i just can't waste my time i must get by ♪ ♪ gotta stop believing in all your lies oh there's just too much to do before i die ♪ ♪ you feelin' all right i'm not feelin' too good myself no ♪ ♪ you feelin' all right i'm not feelin' too good myself no ♪

♪ ♪ don't you get too lost in all i say yeah but at the time you know i really felt that way ♪ ♪ but that was then and now you know it's today i can't get lost i guess i'm here to stay ♪ ♪ till someone comes along to take my place yeah with a different name oh and a different face ♪ ♪ you feelin' all right i'm not feelin' too good myself ♪

♪ you feelin' all right i'm not feelin' too good myself ♪ ♪ you feelin' all right i'm not feelin' too good myself ♪ ♪ you feelin' all right all right ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]