friend. >> police caught up with the suspect at his home and arrested him. >> in pentagon, two northern california soldiers lost their lives in afghanistan. sean jay on kobs was killed last thursday by an ide. specialist benjamin plates died a day later. no details about the turlock resident's death. >> they say the party bus operator involved in a fatal accident had been fined for past violations, natasha noland died while returning from a brad paisley concert at shoreline. party bus santa cruz past inspections back in march but in 2010 the company was fined with a suspended permit.

on friday noland got into a fight. when the door opened they both fell out on the highway. noland was run over. they are in shock over the news. >> i kind of went numb. it's is your ream like i said. i am expecting to get a text from her. it's pretty hard. it's not the same without her. >> the driver has not been charged but two passengers were arrested for public intoxication. >> one passenger says it felt like being in a car at full speed and then having the driver slamming on the brakes. she was talking about flight 905 from las vegas to san francisco. >> it swerved and slamming on the brakes and you knew it was not the normal thing. >> the pilot chose to abort takeoff after receiving a warning from an indicator light. passengers were put on a

different plane which landed just before 7:00 p.m. tonight. opening arguments begin tomorrow in a trial between two tech titans. apple filed a lawsuit alleging that samsung are illegal knockoffs of the popular iphone and ipad products. they are demanding $2.5 billion in damages, samsung says apple is doing the stealing and some of the technology has been industry standard for years. >> street crews used kitty litter to clean up a situation. we were brought the story live at 4:00. a barrel full of used frying oil spilled off a truck spilled on fourth and howard street. crews had to block the lanes to clean it up that took about two hours. now a time to check on the forecast. here is sandhya patel. >> contrasting climates, 68

tomorrow afternoon in san francisco. 64 degrees in half moon bay. if you don't mind the heat, this is the place to be. low to mid-90s in inland communities. 95 in livermore. 90 in santa rosa. richmond and oakland, 74. 82 in palo alto. and 86 in san jose. it will be a nice, sunny day away from the coastline. monterey bay, 73 in santa cruz, still up to 90 degrees in gilroy. here is a look at ago you cue weather seven-day forecast, steamy just like larry likes it. mild at the coast. numbers will be in the mid 60s and then we'll start to notice a downward trend, friday is cooler and much cooler by the weekend. mid to upper 80s inland. >> high 90s is too high for me. i know. >> pool side, love that weather. >> i wilt quickly. >> major sign of progress in the construction of the 49er stadium. crews installed the first steel beams that will form the

framework of the $1.2 billion stadium. crews will work around the clock placing the 18,000 tons of american made steel in place. some of the beams weigh 36,000 pounds apiece. it's a huge boost to the ailing construction industry. >> we have 36% unemployment here in the valley and we have all these people working on the site. we have 300 and we will have over a thousand by the end of the year. >> 36% figure the mayor was talking about refers to the unemployment rate in a skilled construction phrase, a full skeleton of the stadium is expected to be finish by labor day. they are moving quickly. in sports, extra inning for the giants and a's. giants opened a series with mets. scott harrison with second homer of the game. mets go on top 7-6 as the giants bullpen, still in the tenth, johnson bunts and then there is

guy going home. jason bey who scores. they hand their sfistsdz straight lot but remain tied with the dodgers. a's back home for ten games starting off with tampa bay. brandon hicks, high, deep and aloha. right now they are in the 15th inning and they are still tied at 3. thanks for watching. jimmy kimmel live is next. we'll be back tomorrow night for a special midnight edition of "abc 7 news." first newscast tomorrow is abc7 news at 4:30 a.m. we'll see you tomorrow. night, . jimmy kimmel is next. tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> 20120 12 is the hottest year in united states history. and not just because of magic mike. because of everything.

>> kate beckinsale. >> i am licking and nibbling as i work my way slowly towards his blow hole. >> chris hi, jimmy kimmel is here to tell thaw the w567 stars july 27th. i stars gee area mow. tell us about the film. >> well, it's a watch. >> all right, let's take a look at the clip. >> well, i will start this off. my name is bob with a "b." okay. i'm bob. and i'm really into what you are doing here. once aweek, away from the wife and kids. telling dirty joke, having beers if we're good.

>> year, beers? that sounds good. woo hoo zwlnchts welcome, franklin. >> a few years ago i wanted to be a remember of the police department. they didn't see the magic that was me. >> i heard someone say something about beer. mr. ben stiller where. >> you are going? >> i'm about to go home if i don't get beers. >> well that was simple. welcome, jamarcus. >> my name is not jamarcus. i'm gee area mow and i live across the street. and i interested in meeting white women. and my meet, i mean have sex. >> okay. >> i'm also interested in that happening to me. >> jimmy: "j >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with kate beckinsale, chris harrison and music from the rubblebucket. ah ok, move my 4 o'clock today to tomorrow.

change my 11am to 2. [siri] ok marty, i scheduled it for today. is that rick? where's rick? [siri] here's rick. oh, no that's not rick. now, how's the traffic headed downtown? [siri] here's the traffic. ah, it's terrible, terrible! driver, driver! cut across, cut across, we'll never make it downtown this way. i like you siri, you're going places. [siri] i'll try to remember that. [ male announcer ] nothing will keep you from magnum. silky vanilla bean ice cream and rich caramel sauce all covered in thick belgian chocolate. magnrs. for pleasure seekers. all covered in thick belgian chocolate. magnrs. i'm here to snake the drain. i'm here to flush the pipe. vo: liquid plumr double impact has a long snake that reaches deep in the pipe to grab the toughest clogs, and a powerful gel to finish off the rest. baby. liquid plumr double impact. at the peak of the season, but did you know that the strawberry... [ male announcer ] super. that's all we need to hear.

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from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, kate beckinsale, chris harrison and muds frick rubblebucket. and now, here is jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: well, that's very nice. thank you. hi, everyone, i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching at home. thank you for coming out to visit. [ cheers and applause ] i appreciate that. i -- grateful for your enthusiasm. i hope -- i know a lot of you are here on summer vacation. i hope you're having a good one. we had a little bit of rain today here in los angeles. and by a little bit, i mean we had one drop. we had exactly -- we had a rain today. [ laughter ]

they were saying we might get hit by remnants of tropical ess. i'm glad we didn't, because -- it sounds like the saddest romance novel cover ever. i like they named a storm fabio. you shouldn't even name your kids fabio. fabio should not be allowed for tropical storms for the same reason the dmv rejects certain words on personalized license plates. we needed that drop of rain from fabio today. most of the country, including california, is in the middle of a severe drought. it poured in new york today. but otherwise, they're calling this the worst drought in 56 years. that, to me, seems unnecessarily negative. wouldn't it be the best drought in 56 years? [ laughter ] definitely the droughtiest. 2012 is on track to be the hottest year in united states history. and not just because of "magic mike," because of everything. [ laughter ] but that "magic mike," wow. if we don't get rain soon, it could be bad for farmers whose crops depend on it. it's even bad for toy companies. one toy company in particular

has been forced to change their commercials because of the drought. >> what do you grab when you want to make a big splash? >> awesome! >> prepare to get triple soaked! ah! >> dribble soaker up to six crazy inches on of soaking action. >> this is broken. >> it's not broken. it's designed to maximize supersoak ability by taking into account our nation's near catastrophic drought. >> this sucks. >> you know what else sucks? a massive water shortage throughout the u.s.-rocking a. we're experiencing the most extreme brought since 1956. >> what the [ bleep ]? >> please soak responsibly. >> jimmy: can't they just fill them with soda? [ cheers and applause ] that's happening. this is kind of strange.

you know this book, "fifty shades of grey," it's sold, like -- [ applause ] all right, keep your hands to yourself. [ laughter ] it sold like 11 copies for every man, woman and child on the planet. women seem to be attracted to the sex in the book more than anything. so, a clever new company has decided to release erotic versions of classic pieces of literature. i really like "jane ayre," but i would have liked it more if she had a ball gag in her mouth. the founder of the company said we're keeping the original prose and the author's voice but we want to enhance the novels but adding missing sex scenes. so, where there was, like, suggestion of sex, now, there will be actually sex and they are giving the books sexier titles. "the count of monte crisco." "david cop a feel." "oliver nipple twist." "dr. jekyll and mr. hide the salami." and "moby dick" will remain the same.

we will not rest until every great piece of literature is turned into an episode of "the l word." i'm sure it will make a lot of money. i have a different idea. i have a company i founded that does the opposite. we take sex out of books. for instance. hand me this copy of "fifty shades of grey." let me just pick a random thing. christian came home from a long day at work. i asked him what he wanted to eat for dinner. he said, turkey burgers, so, we made them and then we ate. and then we fell asleep watching "hoarders." [ laughter ] i'll be selling these in the lobby after the show. [ applause ] if you're -- thank you. if you're a fan of rock music and all you can eat shrimp, here's something that might catch your attention. there's a company that runs the big coachella music festival they have here every year, they've announced that in december, they will introduce a coachella cruise. which sounds like tom's next wife, right? [ laughter ] it's a cruise, like any cruise,

but they will have performances from rock bands. it goes on for four days. i've been looking for a reason to do peyote at sea and -- i really hope this is either a joke or a ploy to round up and deport anyone who would be interested in going on a coachella cruise, because -- [ laughter ] your move, somali pirates. there was a -- there was a great episode of "people's court" yesterday. they are all pretty great. but this one especially. not because of the case. the case was something about a sick dog, a couple bought from a breeder. what made this case great is, i think, the hair style worn by the defendant. >> these are the plantiffs, reynold and vilma williams. they say the defendant sound them a puppy with a congenital disease, which causes the eyelids of the dog to roll inward against the cornea. this is the defendant, george. he says he's not a breeder, just a hobbyist, who has dogs who occasionally have litters.

>> jimmy: as you can see, he's wearing a litter on his head. [ applause ] justice has never been happier to be blind. the boy scouts of america has announced that they will continue to enforce their policy of banning openly gay boys from being scouts and openly gay adults from taking leadership positions in the organization. between this and same sex marriage, people really don't want gay people tying knots, for some reason. [ laughter ] they said -- [ cheers and applause ] their statement said, the policy reflects the bleaches and perspectives of the boy scouts of america and that a majority of their membership agrees with it. i don't get -- being an adult boy scout is literally the only thing gayer than actually being gay. [ laughter ] and -- [ cheers and applause ] i might add, by the way, how can you ban gays while wearing a neckerchief?

that is a mystery i don't think will ever be solved. rush limbaugh went one of his most inexplicable rants yet. mitt romney is one of the founders of a company called bain capital and he's being criticized by some. and somehow, rush limbaugh has tied this into the new batman movie. i was just going to play a clip of rush's comments, but his reasoning is so cartoonish, we thought it would be fun to pair it with a cartoon. we took the audio from the show and combined it with footage from the animated batman series. i think it makes a lot more sense this way. >> have you heard this new movie, the batman movie, "the dark night lights up." whatever the name of it is. do you know the name of the villain in this movie? >> ah -- >> bane. the villain in "the dark knight rises" is named bane. b-a-n-e. what is the name of the venture

capital firm that romney ran and around which there's now this make believe controversy? bain. the movie has been in the works for a long time, release date's been known, summer 2012, for a long time. do you think that it is accidental that the name of the really vicious fire-breathing, four-eyed whatever it is villain in this movie is named bane? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: on his medicine or off his medicine, i'm not sure. there is one major flaw in rush's theory, and that is the character bane was created in 1993, 20 years ago. that would make obama not only a kenyan socialist, but a time traveler, too. the creator of bane, the guy who created the character, is calling the allegations ridiculous, especially because he, himself, is a long-time conservative. at first, it does seem ridiculous, but somebody on our

staff found on old commercial for bain capital. i'll let you be the judge. >> in challenging economic times, you need expert investment advice. at bain capital, our experienced advisers can craft strategies to help you maximize returns and reduce tax exposure. and we can help you protect your wealth for future generations. bain capital. we're more than a wealth fund. we're gotham's reckoning. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and one more thing. you know, today marks a milestone in the short but rich history of the internet. this is the 20th anniversary of the first photograph ever posted online. this is the photo. for real. it's an all girl's singing group. they performed in switzerland in

the early '90s and to commemorate this historic occasion, we have something very special. here with us, singing one of their classic songs, all the way from geneva, we flew them out here tonight -- [ applause ] hello there. um -- what happened to the other -- the other three members of the group? >> they are dead. >> jimmy: i'm very sorry to hear that. ll you -- are you still going to sing the song? >> oh, i will sing my part. >> jimmy: oh, okay. okay. well, here with the song "the alpine milkman." enjoy. ♪

♪ oh oh oh oh ♪ oh oh oh oh ♪ oh oh oh oh ♪ oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ oh oh oh ♪ oh oh [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a good show for you tonight. from "the bachelorette," host chris harrison is with us. we have music tonight from rubblebucket. and we'll be right back with kate beckinsale, so stick around. hey will you pass me some of that lipton.

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want to start the day with something heart healthy and delicious? you're a talking bee... honey nut cheerios has whole grain oats that can help lower cholesterol. and it tastes good? sure does! right... ♪ wow. delicious, right? yeah. it's the honey, it makes it taste so... ♪ well, would you look at the time... what's the rush? be happy. be healthy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody. tonight on the program, the host of "the bachelorette." the big finale airs sunday night at 8:00 here on abc.

chris harrison will be with us. i hear we might have a crazy finale on our hands. that's the word i'm getting. you know, every year they say the most dramatic ending of "the bachelorette" yet. i heard for the one time, this might actually be true. and then making their network television debut, with music from this album, called "omega la la," all the way from brooklyn, new york, rubblebucket from the bud light stage. we have quite a show for you tomorrow night. tomorrow night on the show, charlie sheen will be here. a very pregnant snooki will be here. and we'll have music from joe cocker and huey lewis together. it all comes together tomorrow night for me personally. every punch line imaginable has descended on us. you know our first guest tonight from "the aviator," "pearl harbor," "underworld" and many films. starting august 3rd you can see her kick the crap out of colin farrell in the sci-f thriller "total recall." please say hello to kate beckinsale. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm very well. >> jimmy: thank you for coming. you look fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i saw the movie last night. it's great. a lot of fun. your husband directed this movie. >> yeah, that's right. yeah. i was offended when he said there's a part of a psychotic bitch, would you like to play it? oh, what gave you that -- >> jimmy: it's like the worst divorce ever, i think, the story of this movie. it would be a weird thing, now that i think of it. your husband is like, yeah, there's this terrible wife, i think you'd be perfect for the role. >> i know, i know. i'm still slightly offended. and he has seen me pms-ing. so possibly that would be his inspiration. that may have -- he has an app on his iphone called code red, which -- [ laughter ] that's a real app. it's not a joke. >> jimmy: isn't that mountain dew? >> it sort of counts you down.

do approach her sexually today, don't today. >> jimmy: it does? >> put her in the dungeon with the gimp now so -- >> jimmy: wow, that's crazy. and is it accurate? >> yeah, i mean, he seems to thin te than it is, but it does give a good -- >> jimmy: if you guys have a fight, does he pull out his phone, go -- that would make me madder than anything. >> he tends to go -- hmm. kind of annoying. >> jimmy: you have a daughter. is she in camp now or -- >> no, she's actually in france, in province -- >> jimmy: she's in france? my parents never sent me to france. what is she doing there? >> she's doing a month-long language course there. >> jimmy: oh, so when she's out of school, you send her back to school. >> right. the european way. >> jimmy: is it really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: because we go out in kayaks and stuff like that. or so i'm told. i didn't go to camp. my parents are here. i'm trying to make them feel guilty. >> you can catch a lot of

disease at camp. >> jimmy: you can catch a lot of disease at camp. >> my daughter didn't want to go to camp because apparently everybody throws up. >> jimmy: camp up-a-chuck-a? is she enjoying her time at camp? >> she's loving it. it's difficult when they are 13, because they get to talk to you on the phone, so, when she's called me, she called me twice. once, when one of her friends almost burned down their apartment. and once to really harass me to let her have facebook. >> jimmy: let's go back to the burning down of the apartment. >> well -- my mother is, like, down the hall. it's not like that. >> jimmy: who set the fire? >> well, there's one girl who, love her to death, but is gluten intolerant. she has to make special pasta, so, after the event of everyone making dinne there ma there making the pasta and she forgot -- you know, those electric hubs, you can't tell if they are off or on? >> jimmy: a hot plate? >> it was on and she left the box of rice pasta and everything

went up like a rocket. >> jimmy: she was almost killed by gluten free pasta. >> yeah, who can say that? >> jimmy: very few people. wow. i have a feeling you're going to find out there's more to the story when your daughter t >> oh,like, 27. >> oh, god. i never want to know that. >> jimmy: that sounds like an unlikely tale to me. she called you -- >> crack, what do you mean? >> jimmy: who knows. >> i'm worried. i've only got one -- >> jimmy: i don't know what goes on in france. i've never been there. you said facebook. do you allow your daughter to be on facebook? >> no, that's where the pedophiles are. that's what i heard anyway. >> jimmy: i'm sure there are plenty. >> i think there are. >> jimmy: does she get upset? i imagine this is -- >> yes, i was actually in the dentist. because the first phone call had been the house is burning down and the fire brigade are here, i was lying back in the chair, you know, the tampon things they have in your mouth and, like, a hose. we have to take, i have talk to my daughter. momma, i really need facebook. okay, you know what? >> jimmy: how old will she be when you allow her to have facebook?

>> 30. >> jimmy: 30? >> i think maybe you are rational then. >> jimmy: more rational than 13 for sure. >> i think if you are going to be asked for a photograph of your boobs, better to be 30 and 13. >> jimmy: sure. were you good in school? were you well behaved in school? >> pretty well behaved. i wasn't a big drinker. >> jimmy: you were not?m not.>>. i never got into it. i went to oxford and i was voted -- i was voted sixth most boring person in my college. i have to explain this. >> jimmy: sixth most boring? is. >> sixth. that's even more crummy than first. you know what i'm saying?they h they have the old drinking societies in oxford and it involves, you know, to join, you have to drink a pint of vodka out of somebody's boot. and there was this horrible thing called -- anal tugging that -- >> jimmy: what? >> it's not as bad as it sounds.

>> jimmy: can you translate to spanish for guillermo? i don't think he caught that one. >> anyway -- >> jimmy: it's not as bad as it sounds? because it sounds bad. >> it sounds really bad. well, you can see why i didn't. >> jimmy: yeah. >> there would be this rugby team, they get all sweaty. one of them would pull down his trousers and pants and then you would pour a pint of beer down the crack and somebody would have to drink it. and so, this is why i was sixth most boring. evidently, there were five more people more turned off by this than me. i'm proud of it. >> jimmy: i can't imagine why you would steer clear of that. >> didn't feel right. >> jimmy: that is one of the most horrible things i've ever heard. wow, that's -- sixth most boring. were there ten or did -- >> i think there was ten. >> jimmy: okay, well, at least you finished ahead of a few people. >> thank goodness. >> jimmy: i'm glad you brought the story up. i would like to ask you to do something -- >> no, i'm not doing it. i love my movie.

i don't love that it much for anal tugging. >> jimmy: oh, no, not that. that's not what i was going to ask you to do. maybe now that i think of it, maybe i should have gone farther. no. i was talking earlier about these books, they're taking the classic books and they're making, they are sexualizing these classic pieces of literature. i was wondering if you would read one of the sexual parts from -- calm down, you animals. from "moby dick." would you do that? >> i would definitely. >> jimmy: you would give it a real touch of class. kate beckinsale is here. the movie is called "total recall." we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] and our team was able to exceed expectations with complete equanimity look at you using a big word in an office meeting ♪ ooh look at you ♪ using a big word in an office meeting ♪ ♪ all correctly and stuff ♪ you got a big presentation and colleagues to impress ♪

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your memory was replaced. your mind was implanted with the life you think you've lived. there never was a quaid. >> i don't -- our marriage? >> what can i say? i was a good wife. >> why are you trying to kill me? >> you haven't even begun to see me --

♪ >> jimmy: that is "total recall." kate beckinsale. that's a good movie. and the fighting is great. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and, have you worked with colin farrell before? >> no, i never had. i and i had always been a bit closeted of him. when i first got together with my husband, who is a director, i think they must have had quite similar facial hair because i got sort of photographed somewhere and everybody said, oh, look, she's dating colin farrell. and so -- i think he was dating a lot of people at that >> >> jimmy: oh. >> so, nobody really questioned it. and so i was in that stable of people who was with colin farrell. i'm not sure if he remembered one way or the other. >> jimmy: that time of his life was a bit of a blur. just for the record, you did not date him? >> oh, god, no. as far as i can remember. >> jimmy: ironic that he could

not recall and this movie is "total recall" and that is his character. his character was originally played by arnold schwarzenegger. and now they have done a version in english, which is nice. >> right. >> jimmy: your fighting is great in the movie. i feel like you could really fight. have you been in a fight? >> not for a long time. there was a really weird boy in my school when i was in grade school who, i think there was something a bit wrong with him. they'd call it something now, but you know, you just had the weird kid. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and he -- he used to pick on my very close friend who was a sort of ballerina, harmless type. and he would pick up his dog, right when it was about to go to the bathroom and hand it to her, you know, very cute dog and we had to wear smocks with the little pocket in it and she had a lot of dog poo on her smock. and i definitely beat him up for that. >> jimmy: you did? >> you got to.

>> jimmy: he must get a real kick out of seeing you in this movie. >> he is probably in a prison now. >> jimmy: probably. all right, well, now, i have this book and for those who did not see the beginning of the show, there's a company that is now adding sex to the classics. this is "moby dick." we've selected a part of this book. if you would -- if we could open the curtains here, we have a special setup for you here. [ applause ] and -- there you have it. just make yourself comfortable. and, ladies and gentlemen, now, i give you, with a reading from the classic novel "moby dick," kate beckinsale. enjoy. [ cheers and applause ] >> through the glass, i spied it afar upon the swells and betook myself. twas no spray of surf, no reflection. the great beast itself, the white whale. the pulsating white whale. as i drew the vessel near, my insides began to feel like warm

maple syrup was flowing through them. moby's eyes met mine. man and ocean beast locked eyes. volcanic passion began to roil within me. aching to erupt in an interspecies frenzy of hot, shuddering blubber. our lips met, assuming whales have lips. his breath smelled of plankton and squid. i leaped, and licking and nibbling the beast's briny back as i worked my way slowly towards his blow hole. i stumbled clumsy. i rose, nude and dripping, ready for his flesh harpoon. and then he turned to me, raised his mammoth head and whispered the words i longed to hear. below me, ishmail.

so i did. >> jimmy: doesn't get any better than that. thank you so much. thank you. kate beckinsale, everyone. "total recall" opens in theaters in august. and we'll be right back with chris harrison. [ cheers and applause ] crowley: i'm dennis crowley, and i'm one of the co-founders of foursquare. foursquare makes apps for mobile phones that let you connect with your friends to help make the real world easier to use. my smartphone is the one thing that i never leave my house without, and it's the one thing that if i do forget, i go back to pick it up. it would be impossible to do the things that we're doing with foursquare

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, hello there. still to come, music from rubblebucket. no one knows more about the perils of televised love than our next guest. he's presided over 24 seasons of "the bachelor" and "the bachelorette." the season finale airs sunday night at 8:00 here on abc. please welcome mr. hot tub and roses, chris harrison. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: how are you doing? >> good. how -- how am i supposed to follow kate beckinsale reading "moby dick"? >> jimmy: to most women, you are a kate beckinsale. you are their kate beckinsale. look, you got your shirt open. >> i thought you were going to say i'm moby dick. >> jimmy: you giving us a rare glimpse of your chest hair, which is exciting. >> you like that? >> jimmy: let me ask you this, because i don't know if you know this. correctly predicted after the first show, the very first show of the season this year, correctly predicted the two finalists, the final two. >> is that right? you picked arie and jef. >> jimmy: with one f, yes. i picked them. >> that's impressive. >> jimmy: do you know, when you show up, do you have a pretty good idea of who it's going to be? >> no. honestly, i suck at that game. i watch them out of the limos.

i try to predict, as well. early on, if you give me a couple of weeks into it, i get it down. only because i'm privy to the conversations. >> jimmy: only because of that, though. >> i'm really not just that first judge of character. i'm not very good at that. >> jimmy: are you surprised that arie and jef with one f are the two finalists? >> i'm surprised his parents didn't just give him an extra f. that is the most shocking thing in the season. >> jimmy: not only that, he goes into the fantasy suite and he decides, he plays it smart, really. he says, you know what, she's reject -- she doesn't want any sex nonsense going on, so, he says, you know what, i don't think it's right. he takes the initiative there and says he doesn't want to have sex with her. hence, he should be jef with no fs is what he should be. he should just be je. >> you know what, though? [ applause ] i think he was savvy. you're onto something. >> jimmy: that's a good move. >> i think he just assumed, look, she has a daughter, she's going to play this classy. i like the way she went about it. she didn't get on the moral soap box, say, look, this ain't happening, you know why. she said, look, i would love for

it to happen, but i'm not going to do this for my daughter. he took the initiative, say, look, either way, he comes out looking like the good guy. he takes the moral high ground or just beat her to the punch. it was smart. very savvy of his one f. >> jimmy: i'm hearing a lot of rumors about this season a finale. can you confirm that it is the -- that it will be really good? >> i feel like i'm in congress testifying now. can you confirm? >> jimmy: this is sworn testimony. can you confirm -- >> that? >> jimmy: it will be something really good in the end? >> it will finally be the most dramatic finale ever. finally, after ten years of saying that. over and over. >> jimmy: well, the first season for sure was the most dramatic finale, because it was the only finale. then, i think, the second season was even more dramatic. but you're batting average is terrible. of the 24 seasons, how many of them have married? >> well, when you say 24, that's a big number. >> jimmy: but it is 24. that is the number.

>> details, jimmy. trista and ryan, obviously. and we have jason and molly have been married. and we -- we count one off "bachelor pad" -- >> jimmy: you do not. >> we can't slip that in there. >> jimmy: no. that's just basically -- you put just a bunch of horny n' er do wells. it's basically a porn shoot without the porn. >> that's what it's become. this season -- i would love to some day just take the show to cinemax where it belongs. and just really do the show -- >> jimmy: on the internet they could do that. but i guess it's abc. they are not going to do that. >> we need to do that after dark. the things that are said and done just will never, ever go on abc. >> jimmy: when -- it starts on the monday follow -- >> sunday, we have the premiere of "bachelorette" -- with emily. >> jimmy: finale, not the premiere.

>> the finale, and that rolls into the premiere of "bachelor pad." >> jimmy: and the post show is going to be live. >> why. >> jimmy: why are you doing it live? >> i have been begging for that for years. i love live tv. that's how it should be done. you can't we place that energy. the good, the bald, the ugly, all of it. i think it's good. >> jimmy: and there's a chance something terrible will happen. >> the train wreck. see, i embrace that. just like you do. the awkward moments are the great moments. and as much as our producers love to edit and control those situations, and i get it to a certain degree, i like the mayhem. >> jimmy: that makes me feel like something big is going to happen. i'm going to run some scenarios by you. some of these have been in tabloids. some of these are just things that we kind of thought of. shnchts i give you a yay or nay? >> jimmy: i don't think you can, but maybe just give your kind of feedback on it. sean, who was rejected last week, he comes back and proposes to emily and she accepts. >> okay. >> jimmy: you can say no, right,

if it's a no, then -- >> i can definitely say no. >> jimmy: is it a no? >> no, i could say that. >> jimmy: here's another one. emily decides to get her 7-year-old daughter decide and she picks arie, because he looks the most like my little pony. [ laughter ] >> damn it! how did you find out? that's true. >> jimmy: engaged to both guys, they move to a compound in northern idaho? emily ends up with you, chris harrison. is that possible? [ cheers and applause ] >> it's true. i wanted to come out on jimmy kimmel and announce. >> jimmy: emily picks one guy. he rejected her and she gets engaged to the other guy. that is in "in touch" magazine. >> gooion.

>> jimmy: they are never on the island the entire time, they were in purgatory. >> and it became "lost." >> jimmy: i don't mean to offend you, but i feel like as a result of all these seasons, all this time you spend with these people, you don't understand what real relationships are anymore. [ laughter ] you know what i'm saying? i want to show a videotape here. watch this with me. this is what i'm talking about. take a look. >> hey, guys, sorry to interrupt the one-on-one date. how are things going between the two of you? >> we're great. >> emily, this is the toughest part of the night. you have to decide, is he going to stay or are you going to send him home? >> i'm not emily. >> look, are you here for the right reasons? >> that's a really personal question. who are you? you can please just -- >> emily, honestly, i sense anger from this guy. what do you see in him? >> leave us alone. >> i'm sorry, is there a problem? >> no, we're fine. >> chris, come on, man. how many times are you going to do this this week? >> you are not getting the rose, man. i'm just trying to help you guys find love. i'm just here for love!

>> are you okay? >> yeah, i'm -- oh! >> coming up, the most dramatic dessert course ever. >> waiter? he's back! >> what? >> jimmy: you see what i'm talking about? >> no. i don't see what's wrong with that. >> jimmy: chris harrison, everyone. watch the finale of "the bachelorette" sunday night. "bachelor pad" monday night. we'll be right back with music from rubblebucket. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

[ man ] you got involved with some people with real problems. ♪ life and death. wilee? what did you do to me, man?! what the hell am i carrying?! ♪ i almost got killed 3 times in the last 20 minutes. [ man ] if you don't give over that envelope, you have no idea what's coming for you. wilee! ♪ [ male announcer ] "premium rush." rated pg-13.

>> jimmy: the name of the album is "omega la la." making their network television debut with the song "came out of a lady," from brooklyn, rubblebucket! ♪ ♪ i used to wish i was never born but now i don't cause i found you ♪