welcome it our home here in hollywood. it was -- it's been cold here, and i can't really explain why. the high today was 59 degrees, which isn't very cold, but for some reason it feels like it's 9 degrees outside. we had an outdoor concert last night. people were wearing uggs on their head it was so cold. we're not used to this here in l.a. we're delicate people. even our kids were delicate. our local news went to an elementary school in burbank yesterday. watch these kids. they're freezing, even though it's sunday, and they don't have their jackets zipped up. >> on the playground at red heart elementary students cleared out for lunch and recess. >> i would rather be, like, somewhere in chicago where it's always hot. >> public school. >> jimmy: sorry, everyone in chicago.

the president will be worn in on sunday. they have to do it on sunday because legally it has to take place on january 209, but i have a feeling most people will be too focused on football and honey boo boo to watch any of the inauguration. in general more people claim they watch things like the presidential inauguration than actually -- we sent a camera out on to hollywood boulevard today. we asked people what they thought of the inauguration even hoe it hasn't happened yet. again, this is an event that will take place days from now, so there's no way they could possibly have an opinion on it, but that didn't stop people from having them on tonight's edition of "lie witness muse." >> what did you think of the inauguration yesterday? >> it was awesome. it was part of history. it was really nice to see him up there getting his second term. i'm proud of him. >> did you like his speech? >> yeah. it was from the heart. i really -- you know, it brought a tear to my eye.

>> what did you think of the inauguration yesterday? >> um, i didn't really care for it. i didn't care for any of it really to be honest. i turned the tv off. it kind of bored me. >> did you like the part where she threw teddy bears into the crowd? >> yes. >> fun, right? >> yes. >> what did you think about when joe biden cried? >> i thought that was sentimental. warm. it touched my heart. >> what did you think of the inauguration last night? >> i don't know. i don't like it. >> you didn't like it? did you enjoy the tap routine? >> that was the only thing that was kind of worth it. >> it was fun. >> yeah, it was okay. >> did you enjoy the juggling routine? >> yeah, i enjoyed everything. after that i just went to sleep. >> what did you think of the nicki minaj performance? >> i loved it. it was really, i guess, urban, what today is. >> you know none of this really happened, right? >> yeah, i'm just going along

with you. >> it's an interesting thingy. did you know the bachelor has to supply the flowers himself? the bachelor hands out probably hundreds of roses over the course of the season, and it is his responsibility to find them. >> each week i'm responsible for finding my own roses. ♪ >> a rose symbolizes my love. finding the perfect rose is like finding the perfect girl. it takes time and patience. i have to trust my heart to tell me what to do. when it's right, i'll know it. [ applause ] >> amazing. >> hello, folks. it's wednesday night, and

welcome to the knife guy. will ferrell, everybody. >> hey, will. >> hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: how is it going? >> what's up? >> jimmy: just doing the show. what's up with you? >> now? >> jimmy: yeah, abc moved us up to 11:35 so we're on earlier now. >> yeah, right. >> jimmy: no, really they did. what's going on here? >> i use the studio at 11:30 on wednesdays for my qvc knife show. you might want to -- might want to check the sign-in sheet. >> jimmy: i didn't even realize there was a sign-in sheet to be honest with you. >> well, there is, and my name is on it. >> jimmy: oh. well, i'm very sorry. i didn't know. >> no, it's okay. i'll just go ahead and start. >> jimmy: you know what, i'm in the middle of my show right now just -- >> i have knives to sell,

kimmel, okay? >> jimmy: all right. do it quick, okay? >> mifers, only a few of these beauties left. say hello to the nonstick raiser steel samurai stab master 2200. you want primo slicing action. look what this baby does to balloons. huh? you always have trouble cutting through flan, don't you, jimmy? >> jimmy: yes? >> not a problem. this thing literally cuts through warm butter like it's warm butter. >> jimmy: that's great. that's fantastic. thank you, will. you're done? >> oh, not even close. >> jimmy: oh. >> let's bring out my guest who has some more stuff to slice. ryan. [ cheering ]

>> jimmy: ryan gosling. how are you doing, man? what the hell are you doing? >> what am i doing? what are you doing? >> jimmy: you're supposed to be my guest. >> we sell knives on thursday. everybody knows that. >> jimmy: i didn't know. >> there's a sign-up sheet. >> jimmy: i didn't read the sheet. i didn't know the sheet. >> we've been here for three months. >> jimmy: didn't know. i'm sorry. i don't know how this is my fault. >> it doesn't matter ryan. let's get to chopping, huh? cookie dough. cotton candy. chocolate milk. you always got to slice chocolate milk. >> jimmy: how many -- >> potato chips. gone. >> jimmy: how many of these -- >> tapioca pudding, cottage cheese. >> jimmy: i think we should probably wrap it up because, will -- >> apple sauce. >> jimmy: if you could wrap it up, because i don't -- >> chocolate pudding. >> jimmy: i don't feel like

you're actually selling any -- >> oh. oh. >> jimmy: oh. are you all right? >> what is your problem, jimmy? >> jimmy: didn't do this. >> your energy did this. >> it's deep. it's deep too. it's clean deep. >> that's a beautiful cut, though. it's beautiful. >> a beautiful cut. it's a cleaner slice. it's a much cleaner slice than you get from my store bought knife. >> right to the bone. >> right to the bone. >> beautiful. >> jimmy: you know, maybe you should go see the medic or something? huh? >> i think we're going to go. we're going to go now. >> jimmy: okay. ryan, he is getting a little woozy, i think. >> this is your fault, jimmy. >> jimmy: this is not my fault. >> it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not.

it is this week in unnecessary censorship. >> remember that seven years ago actually more than seven years ago lance armstrong denying outright that he [ bleep ] himself. >> her name is now noter [ bleep ] to some people. >> jennifer lopez called her much younger boyfriend to [ bleep ] a woman his own age. >> i actually [ bleep ] -- >> some girls back in london, alex, stephanie, and pipa who found me first [ bleep ] on stage. >> it is the biggest [ bleep ]. >> definitely ryan seacrest. >> he said to go ahead with the plan no matter how hard you [ bleep ] me. >> meagan has sucked the [ bleep ] right out of this once again. >> [ bleep ]. >> that's it. >> i'm not going to [ bleep ] you when you want me to [ bleep ] you. i'm going to [ bleep ] you when i want to [ bleep ] you. >> my granny bird always said if it's broke, [ bleep ] it.

>> up next it's still uncomfortable. >> it's a little potty word. >> tell us then for sure. >> later, jimmy introduces the baby dance. >> how do they do it, jimmy? >> jimmy: kind of a -- hershey's is more than chocolate. it's an invitation. to stop and savor.

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>> jimmy: president obama is about to propose legislation that would limit access to assault weapons and require background checks on people who buy guns, and, of course, getting a lot of opposition from those who believe their rights under the second amendment are being taken away. >> part of the challenge that we confront is that even the slightest hint of some sensible,

responsible legislation in this area fans this notion that somehow here it comes and that everybody's guns are going to be taken away. >> jimmy: basically what he is saying is people flip out when they think their guns might be taken away, and some lobbyists will try to whip them into a frenzy with ads like this one. >> why does president obama want to take everybody's guns away? >> everybody's guns are going to be taken away. >> that's right. the federal government is about to take your guns away. >> the federal government's about to take all your guns away. >> whose guns? >> everybody's guns. >> how many guns? >> all your guns. >> call the white house right now because if you don't -- >> here it comes. >> here it comes. >> paid for by americans against guns. >> jimmy: there are two things i believe. one is we can learn so much from our children. kids have an interesting take on

just about anything. they see things in a way that we as adults can't. we have prejudices. we have preconceived notions. we have all sorts of things like that, so i recently sat down with a group of young people to ask them what the difference is between boys and girls. this is something i've actually been wondering about for years, and as you will see here, i got some exceptionally enlightening answers. ♪ >>. >> jimmy: what's the difference between a boy and a girl? >> well, boys like doing, like, rough sort of stuff, and girls like doing kind of, like, kind and soft. >> jimmy: girls are gentle, and boys are vicious animals? >> yeah. >> the boy has thicker hair than the girl. >> jimmy: thicker? >> thicker. >> jimmy: sometimes, yeah. >> the boys wear yarmulke. >> jimmy: right. >> and girls don't. >> jimmy: that's right. >> you can tell by the adam's

apple because if they don't have an adam's apple then it's a girl, but if they do, then it's a boy. >> jimmy: that's right. that's absolutely right. >> girls like pink. boys don't. >> jimmy: sometimes boys like pink. sometimes girls don't like pink, right? yeah. >> girls shop a lot. boys don't. >> jimmy: sometimes boys shop a lot, though. >> boys like to watch tv a lot, and girls don't. >> jimmy: they don't? i think some girls do. >> hmm, this is hard. >> jimmy: yeah. it's a difficult one. we could dance around this forever, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you and i, yeah. >> i know a way, but i think it's really disturbing. >> jimmy: what is disturbing? >> you know how you tell a boy pup from a girl pup? you know when people hit their

thing in between their legs? you know how they say, ah, my muts. ah, my nuts. they actually -- >> jimmy: who said this? >> i'm just trying to express what the question you asked me. >> jimmy: no, you go ahead. again, what's the difference between a boy and a girl? >> well, i shouldn't say it's disturbing, but most girls have longer hair than boys. 90%. >> jimmy: well done. what is the difference between a boy and a girl? >> no, you. >> jimmy: what? >> girls always say something it's a little about potty words. >> jimmy: tell us then for sure. what is it? >> wenis.

>> jimmy: wenis penis cupid stupid. is this a song? >> it's something my friends made up. >> jimmy: that's a funny one, right? what's different about boys and girls? >> hair is longer than -- and eyes are different. >> they're colored differently. >> jimmy: finally, some honesty. ♪ >> dicky: up next jimmy and ellen degeneres slow things down, and still ahead ray romano. >> men in the marriage, we're always behind in points in that game. we're never in the lead. [ male announcer ] is it possible applebee's new entrees are full of flavor and under 550 calories each? i'll believe it when i taste it. i believe it! i can dig it! [ male announcer ] ok, a bit of an overreaction, but... uh oh...what now? ♪

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>> jimmy: first guest tonight is a national treasure. last week she won her 13th people's choice award, even though it is a well known fact that she does not like people. the very funny show that bears her maim airs every week day in syndication. say hello to the wonderful ellen degeneres. ♪

>> jimmy: the band is rehearsing today. >> i know. it's really hard. i usually wait for my guests to sit down, so we had to sit down at the same time. >> jimmy: it's weird. i think we solved that problem. how are you? everything all right? >> i'm great. are these chairs larger, or am i rinking? >> jimmy: ulbe both. i don't know really. >> well, they're comfortable, but i feel tiny in these chairs. they're huge. i love the new set. i love everything about -- i like that you're a half hour earlier now. >> jimmy: thank you. that's great. >> you love the set as well? >> jimmy: big fans of the furniture here. >> i wanted to say it. it's really great. i really do congratulate you on the new time slot. >> jimmy: that was. i was on your show the last week. it's very incestuous this relationship we have. >> i know. there's hardly anything to talk about anymore because you were just there, and i'm here. >> jimmy: do you like being a host or a guest better as far as that stuff goes? >> i like being -- i like both,

but when i used to be a guest before i had my show, i had things to talk about because i had no outlet. >> jimmy: right. >> now i have a show so i talk about everything that's going on in my life, so when i come on a show, i don't have anything to talk about. >> jimmy: oh. s. >> i don't have children. i don't want children. the only time i want children is right before i do a talk show because i have, you know, the stories you would have if you had a kid, you know? she's 4 years old, let's say, and she's -- oh, she just got into the flour cabinet and, oh, jimmy, the flour is all over her face. >> jimmy: what a mess. >> you want to be mad, but she's so adorable you can't. she's precious. i would probably bring a picture, and i would show the picture of her and say look how precious she is. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. >> i mean -- >> jimmy: she sure is. >> this is carol ann, and -- >> jimmy: oh, carol ann. she really got in the flour, didn't she? >> i snapped that. that's a stock photo, but that's sort of what would happen.

>> jimmy: i see. >> her brother would come in. she's got a brother. >> jimmy: oh, she does? >> he would say damn, it and i would be mad because he is swearing, but he learned it from me, so i can't really be. i would have kid stories, but i don't have any. >> jimmy: speaking of kids, i had some serious golds, and you were nice to help me out with this. it did work out very well. i've come up with a new dance. i even invented a couple of dances. i'm not a big dancer, but i do sometimes get loaded and start dancing, and this dance is the baby dance i call it, and i explained it to you on your show. you dance like a baby, the way babies dance. very uncoordinated. >> how do they do it, jimmy? >> jimmy: it's kind of a step and then -- can you really bop around. you don't need to be on the beat. you subtract points if you are on the beat. your gangnam style video, and

britney spears has like a zillion hits on youtube, and i tell you, what people seem to really like it. >> you asked people if they would actually try to do the -- wron if anyone could perfect the baby dance. >> jimmy: i'm the originator of the dance. you're not going to do the twist better than chubby checker. >> you have video? >> jimmy: yeah. in fact, i have it right here. >> okay. ♪ ♪ oh ♪ ♪ i know you love me loenz i know you care you are my love you want my heart and we were never ever be apart ♪ ♪ i was, like, baby, baby, baby oh ♪ ♪ like baby, baby, no ♪ like baby, baby, baby, oh

♪ thought you'd always be mine ♪ baby, baby, baby, oh >> i have to say something. when you thought of that on the show, i thought, well, that's -- we do things on the show, and they take off like crazy, right? like our dance there. you have seen the dance where we actually dare people to dance behind people and they don't know it. we started doing it on the show, and we danced behind people that are guests when they don't know it. you probably don't even know this, but let's take a look. >> jimmy: oh, really? ♪

[ laughing ] >> jimmy: wow. oh, no. how far is this going to go? ♪ i'm sexy and i know it ♪ i'm sexy and i know it [ cheering ] >> jimmy: guillermo, you sneaky little devil. i was wondering why you were interested in what i was saying during the commercial. >> jimmy: i have to say, i wish you could hang out and stay. >> i feel like i get to hang out with you, and i come here, and it's not long enough. >> jimmy: when you leave, i feel kind of sad that you've gone. >> i don't want to leave, and i know you don't want me to. ♪ >> who wants to be the first to say good-bye? >> jimmy: you're right. may i have this dance, ellen?

♪ >> jimmy: we should probably throw in a commercial break right now. >> don't do it. >> jimmy: don't? >> no. >> jimmy: just keep going? ♪ >> dicky: still ahead, jennifer lopez. >> jimmy: do you understand that you're working, or do they think that mommy goes dancing every might? >> yeah. >> dicky: and science bob flewing felder. >> these balloons are filled

with hydrogen. >> dicky: up next mark wahlberg sings. ♪ [ male announcer ] let's take every drop of courage, every ounce of inspiration, every bit of determination, and go where we've never gone before. ♪ introducing the radically new avalon. toyota. let's go places. when you file your taxes.eans big changes this year...n. i read the whole 900 pages. i will give you a tax and health care review. i can help you figure it out.

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>> jimmy: our first guest tonight is a former musician turned oscar nominated actor. he is a friend to porn stars and teddy bears alike. you can currently see him starring tomorrow night as a disgrace the cop turned private eye in "broken city." please welcome mark wahlberg.

♪ >> break it down. break it down. break it down. hold on. let me stop. wait. whoa. ♪ you got the touch ♪ you got the power ♪ yeah ♪ after all is said and done you never walk, you never run you're a winner ♪ ♪ you're at your best when i -- you'll be put to the test but it's never enough you're a winner ♪ >> all right. i forgot the words. it was 16 years ago.

>> jimmy: i appreciate it. >> you know what. i knew there was a original because when paul thomas are not son sent me the song, he sent me the original along with the lyrics. i'm, like, this is really bad. >> jimmy: for those that have no idea what's going on and just think, oh, my god, that's just a terrible song, it is -- it's an intentionally terrible song from "boogie nights." >> for "boogie nights" it was an intentionally terrible song, but i don't think it was for the singer. >> my wife not in the business. i'm want saying she doesn't have a sense of humor. she still doesn't quite get me. you know? i mean, it's still fine, but there are times, you know -- my son came home from the movies. he was 12 then, and he told us he saw two girls kissing in the movie theater the whole time. yeah. right away my wife gave me a

look like, you know, say something wise. she had that look. i didn't think i had to say anything. and i just said, you know, joe, every time two girls kiss, an angel gets its wings. and my wife -- >> jimmy: no? >> didn't want to hear it. she didn't get the reference. >> jimmy: oh, she didn't? >> the other -- i just want to vent this for a second. this happened -- we were on our way to the movies. this is another example of just, you know, you got to let me do my thing. >> jimmy: right. >> and she -- we were taking them to see "ted." funny movie. rated r, though. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> for my son. now he is 13, so he had his friend with him in the back, and his friend got permission from his parents, and my wife turned to me and said are we bad parents taking them to see an r-rated movie? i said to the boys, i go,

listen, guys, here's what's going to happen. we're going to be in the theater. we're going to be in the movie. we're going to use a code word. whenever something that you shouldn't see is on screen or you shouldn't hear, i'm going to say the code word. cover your ears, cover your eyes. okay? and the code word is [ bleep ]. but -- yeah. my wife -- i got to tell you, i did it for the laugh. that's why you do it. you know, the kids were dying. the boys were dying. and my wife was -- she just -- she immediately just went no. yes. it was like a dog who peed on the carpet. and i told her -- she goes, why? why? i'm going, you got -- i'm just trying to get the laugh.

then she said, but why -- couldn't you have used -- why do you have to use that word? i told her, honestly, as a comedian, the words all -- the rolodex of words in an instant went through my head. that's the one that would have worked right there. no other word. >> jimmy: you really had no choice. after 25 years of marriage, you must have -- you must be doing something correctly. i would imagine. fwloo. >> we get along. i do things that get her mad, but then i also do things that she likes. i score points. that's the thing with a guy. we're always trying to score points with the wife. >> jimmy: yes. >> yes. here's what i don't get. we're always -- men in the marriage we're always behind. we're always behind in points in that game. we're never in the lead. you know, you buy the flowers. that's why the guy who sells the flowers at the corner, you know, at the light, that's why he makes a living. it's because, you know, you pull

up -- a married guy will pull up. it's not her birthday. i'm so far behind in points, just give me the thing. everybody -- my wife has kind of caught on to it. thanks for the effort. thanks for rolling down the window. yeah. but -- the phenomenon i've found is it doesn't matter who you are as a married man, you are always trying to score points. the president obama, when he won, i don't know if anybody remembers, the night that he won, his victory speech when he came out in the middle of it, he stopped and he thanked his wife, michelle, and he said, michelle, i never loved you more than tonight, and i thought even the president. think about it. on the night you become -- elected the president of the united states, you don't have to score points on that night. >> jimmy: well, you're wrong.

you do. >> yeah. >> dicky: up next jennifer lopez, and still ahead science bob gets weird. >> or it makes your voice really high, which is kind of fun. ♪ [ male announcer ] every time you say no to a cigarette you celebrate a little win. nicorette gum helps calm your cravings and makes you less irritable. quit one cigarette at a time.

you paid...wow. hmmm. let's see if walmart can help you find the same look for less. okay. see? walmart has all these leading eyewear brands and styles. rockstar! really? yeah. oh, wow! oh, black frame looks good on you. yeah? you can get a complete pair starting at just -- $38. really?! and did you know that our glasses come with a free 12-month replacement guarantee? i didn't know walmart had all this. the price is impressive, the quality is too! come to walmart and see for yourself. find rollbacks on the contact lenses you want. like the acuvue oasys -- now $27.88. walmart. with multiple lacerations to the wing and a fractured beak. surgery was successful, but he will be in a cast until it is fully healed, possibly several months. so, if the duck isn't able to work, how will he pay for his living expenses? aflac. like his rent and car payments? aflac. what about gas and groceries? aflac. cell phone?

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>> jimmy: jennifer lopez. ♪ >> jimmy: you look fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you look way better than mark wahlberg. >> oh, do i? thank you. that's a nice thing to say. >> jimmy: what is a typical day for you? what time do you get up in the morning? today, for instance? >> well, i have twins, so they get up around 7:00, and they come -- >> jimmy: that's not too bad. it could be worse. >> it was worse for a long time, but now it's a little better. it's 7:00, and they come in, and they wake me up, and i go down. >> jimmy: you don't say go to the nanny's room, i'm sleeping? >> sometimes. sometimes. if i'm working. if i had worked late the night

before, i will definitely be, like, help. somebody. >> jimmy: they went on tour wushgs right? >> we were on tour for, like, seven months. they did amaze, by the way. >> did they like that? >> they did. it was, like, mommy, when are we going to the venue? >> jimmy: when you're on stage, do they want you? sometimes when we'll have bands here, they bring their kids, and the kids want to run out on stage. >> absolutely. max, especially my boy. my daughter kind of watches like, oh, my god, she's just watching every step. she loves to dance. she loves the singing, the sparkle. it's a lot of sparkle. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> my son, he wants -- he is, like, mommy. all i see is -- because i can't hear him. you know? i'm trying to wave back. i feel bad. by the way, heartbreaking. i can't look at him. i can't to it. >> jimmy: it's got to be bad because you can't leave in the middle of a song. >> no. >> jimmy: who takes care of them? your mom travels with you? >> well, my mom travel with me this time because we went in september, and they were going

to be missing school. even though it's preschool, i kind of want them to be ready. all the other kids are doing preschool, and that's from when they're 2 years old. i don't want them to be left behind. my mom was a kindergarten teacher for, like, 20 years. >> jimmy: that's perfect. that's perfect. >> she'll be so mad if i add years. for a long time. she came out on the road with us and she was helping them. >> jimmy: was it good to have teacher mom? >> it is. i wasn't -- i think it would have been awful if she was a teacher when i was in school. >> jimmy: oh, she wasn't? >> no, no, no. i had just kind of left eighth grade, and she went into that school and started teaching. my sister, unfortunately, got caught in that. >> jimmy: were you a good student? >> hurricane. >> jimmy: were you a good stupt? >> i was. i was a good girl. >> jimmy: you played sports and stuff like that? >> i ran track. i was very good. yes. i was. i got made fun of because i always bring up that i used to run track. i'm very proud of the fact. i won a bunch of medals and trophies. i was, like, 11 years old.

>> jimmy: do you save those things? now you have big awards. >> i'm always looking for these trophies. mom, where are the trophies? jip your mom didn't save them? >> flo, she didn't. i'm, like, dad, are they at your house? maybe in a box somewhere. >> jimmy: say $10,000 for the ribbons. >> i bet you those things would show up so fast. >> jimmy: do your kids have contract riders of their own like i must have juice boxes with the straws inserted into them before, that sort of thing? >> absolutely. no. no, i mean, we always have what they need there. like we always have to have two beds, two little beds for them and, you know, they like -- >> jimmy: do they understand you're working or do they think mommy goes dancing every might? >> yeah. it will be interesting when they grow up. when i grow up. freudian slip. >> jimmy: have you been watching "american idol?" >> i didn't. it started last night, no?

i was out last night. i missed it. >> jimmy: you should never watch it because everyone is going to ask you about it all the time. >> true. >> jimmy: the best thing you can do is say i haven't seen it. don't watch it the whole season. >> i won't. >> jimmy: you must not miss -- it must be a miserable thing going around to those cities and listening to all the auditions. >> it wasn't -- no, it wasn't miserable. >> jimmy: it wasn't? >> no, i really enjoyed it, and anybody who watches can see that i kind of enjoyed it. i don't know. there was something about that show that is really inspiring and fun and, you know, just getting to mentor the kids. i really had a good time with it. >> jimmy: do you miss sharing scarves with stephen tyler? >> i do. i really do. >> jimmy: is he somebody you knew before you wound up doing the show? >> didn't. i met him through the show, and the minute that we met, it was -- and ryan and even randy as well, we just had like an instant chemistry. >> jimmy: now everyone hates each other on that show. well, you'll never know because you'll never see it. >> i don't know. haven't seen it. >> jimmy: trust me. they don't like each other at

all. >> up next jimmy sucks.

>> jimmy: our next guest would have been burned at the stake as a witch. he is a chemistry teacher by day and a maker of explosions by might. please welcome science bob pflugfelder. >> we're iffing to do a demonstration on the density of gas. okay? for example, i got a balloon here that's filled with helium. people ask will helium kill brain cells? helium itself won't, but it's the lack of oxygen that could get to you. my advice is unless you're really familiar with these and their effects, just breathe air. all right. helium, which, by the way, is six times lighter than air. we breathe this in. it kind of makes your voice very high. it's kind of a lot of fun. it turns out that helium kind of favors the high side of your voice. >> jimmy: you didn't need this, by the way? >> now, this balloon is filled

with sulfur hexafluoride. i like to call this helium's ooel twin. feel the balloon. it's actually heavier. it's heavy. >> jimmy: it has a thing on it. that's probably why. >> this will actually because it's six times heavier than air, it will have an opposite effect. it will kind of enhance the timber side of your voice. >> jimmy: it will make your voice lower. >> breathe out. >> jimmy: hello there. boy, is it low. it's weird that this is coming out of my mouth. i feel like the guy from "silence of the lamb." let me take a little more. this is cnn. i could announce with a voice like this.

take this before we go on the show. it's like a woman trying to sound like a man. that's something else. yeah. all right. my voice is coming back. oh. all right. we're back. all right. great. >> some density gas. >> jimmy: nice. >> come over here. >> jimmy: we got to hear how this sounds. take a little bit. >> how are you doing? hi. everything okay? >> jimmy: guillermo's testicles descended. >> we have football games coming up this sunday, and so i thought would i show you a little bit about how i might distribute chips at a football party. >> jimmy: okay. good. all right. we don't need these anymore. come on over. we have something set up here. >> jimmy: what's your favorite team? >> oh, boy.

>> jimmy: you're not watching the football game, are you, bob? >> i was raised on the jets. >> jimmy: you were raised on the jets. but you're in boston, though? >> yes, i am. it's tricky. >> jimmy: the jets are not in it anymore. >> that's true. be careful. these balloons are filled with hydrogen. >> jimmy: so i should suck it? >> it's extremely flammable. extremely active. >> jimmy: for a woman for that matter. >> here's what we've got. >> jimmy: why did you hand me an extremely flammable balloon and a lighter? >> leave that alone. that's fine there. we've got pringles cans here filled with chips, and we've rigged these hydrogen balloons up so they can distribute the hydrogen into the can, and then i drilled a hole on the bottom, which is now the top, and what we're going to do is get the hydrogen there and then we're going to light these similar to candles, and then we're

basically going to cause the hydrogen oxide to create rocket fuel. >> jimmy: this is something you thought of? >> yeah. it's fun. >> jimmy: this is fun, by the way. >> first step is you're going to just kind of spin that little knob there. that's going to release the hydrogen. >> jimmy: okay. >> turn that until the balloon starts going down. >> jimmy: okay. >> there it goes. >> jimmy: i hear it. >> beautiful. now this is going to purge the air from the can. >> jimmy: okay. >> we see the ballooning going down. >> jimmy: it's replacing the air in the cans with the hydrogen itself. >> pushing the air out, filling it with hydrogen. as soon as these balloons go down, we're going pull this contraption out, and we're going to go ahead and light the top. >> jimmy: these never work, though, do they? >> they're tricky. >> jimmy: oh, had this one does. >> you can go ahead and start lighting those. >> jimmy: where? just right at the hole? >> right at the top. >> jimmy: light it now, huh? is it lit? >> it's almost an invisible flame there.