i want to say that -- we have one goal for ten years and that is to put on a great show. one day we're going to put on a great show. i just know it. until then we will wait. ten years have gone by so quickly. so many memorable events along the way. one moment represents the last ten years of this show i'd have to say it is this. i learn something new from it every single time. thank you. by the way not only did our show have a birthday this weekend our pal guillermo had one too. happy birthday guillermo. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: guillermo turned 42 yesterday. his mustache turned 40.

what did you do for your birthday? >> watch tv and eat pizza. >> jimmy: what did you get for gifts? >> yes, from my mom. >> jimmy: what did you get from your mom? >> $100. >> jimmy: really? what a thoughtful gift. what about your wife? >> a movie. >> jimmy: a movie? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what movie did she get you? >> it's called "fat, sick, and almost dead". >> jimmy: no. >> yeah. it's about losing weight. she's crazy. >> jimmy: well we had a little party for guillermo at the office here today. we hired a cake to jump out of a cake. that's what he likes the most. sent an e-mail to erin, you're the nicest white people i've ever worked with.

>> it's true. >> jimmy: very nice of you to say. you get cuter every year. this is a strange story. the police are investigating chris brown's involvement in a physical altercation that allegedly happened last night. eyewitness accounts say he got in a fight with frank ocean of a parking spot and frank ocean says i got jumped by chris and a couple guys lol. is that usual lol after getting jumped by three guys. i go with an omg. chris brown is on probation for punching rihanna and frank ocean could press charges which could mean a trip to jail for chris brown over a parking spot. just like biggie and tupac. might be time to put chris in a hamster ball for his protection. the u.s. postal service raised

the price of a stamp yesterday. stamps are something that the pilgrims used before we had the internet. it will now cost you 46 cents which is a bummer for me and the mail order bride business i was about to launch. some people are complaining about the price even though it's a penny more than the old price. it's one cent. you're not allowed to spend $4 on a cup of coffee and complain about a cent. for 46 cents you can send something to any house in north dakota that's a bargain. i wish the post office would charge for e-mail. maybe aunt nancy would think twice about sending the gangnam style video. you think we'll have the post office in 20 years? the only ones keeping it alive are the ones who don't know you can get netflix on the internet.

kids will ask how did we get messages? we wrote things on paper and put in the an envelope and give it to a guy in blue shorts and somehow it got there. we had a new episode of "the bachelor." the field is down to 11. they say the word "amazing" a lot. week one there was 17. last week we tallied 14. tonight, what will the amazing count be? let's go to the tote board. >> an amazing experience. >> the place is amazing right? >> i'm with this amazing man. >> this is amazing. >> they all have -- amazing girl. >> amazing guy. >> amazing. >> amazing. >> amazing. >> how amazing. >> the most amazing family. >> an amazing man. >> you look amazing tonight. >> i just know how amazing you are. >> 15 times. >> jimmy: that's great news.

i tell you, amazing. pretty sure they don't say amazing this many times on "the amazing race" and that is named amazing. any ran last week the government successfully launched a live monkey into space. i like that it was specified it was a live monkey as if there was a chance they would send a dedmon ki into space. there was no independent confirmation but they did release a photo. this is the alleged iranian space monkey. based on the photograph i'm guessing he didn't volunteer for the mission. but i like seeing the iranian space monkey up with the ikea sweater monkey. they claim he traveled 75 miles into space and returned alive and well. they threw him a parade when he

got back. there is the space monkey. wait a minute -- yeah, that's him. adorable when he bangs his cymbals together. are you familiar with cnn headline news? this is a news channel that doesn't give you a lot of detail. they give you the basics quickly. and because so many stories are back to back, the transitions can be difficult like this from natasha currie who has the cnn headline news segue of the day. >> do you remember the show with the monkeys that would talk it was on after "the monkeess that might be a show. a car plunged into a frozen pond with two people in it. >> jimmy: moving on.

here's potentially bad news for facebook. according to social media monitoring company in america alone in december facebook lost 1.4 million users. they have 167 million users in the united states. you wouldn't think it would be a big deal but it could be the beginning of a trend. everyone used myspace and one day later everyone was off it. facebook has started actively contacting people who left to try to encourage them to come back. look at this. >> hey -- facebook police. you have not logged in in 13 days, why not? >> i'm taking a break and trying to read more. >> you do not read and you will not take a break from facebook we own you! >> update your status. >> okay. okay. >> instagram a photo of you at

the farmer's market. do it. the one with the pineapple! >> would you be interested in purchasing some stock in facebook. >> very exciting times. >> i don't have any money at the moment. [ screaming ]. >> facebook! >> jimmy: brutality is what it is. we are going to take a break. when we come back aunt chippy will weigh in on paris fashion week and i'm going to ask kids if they know who elvis presley is plus a jude law, j.b. smoove and gavin degraw. come on back.

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or to request more information today. it was 3 days of pure joy. ♪ and it's beautiful >> jimmy: welcome back. j.b. smoove and jude law and gavin degraw are here to entertain you. last week was fashion week in paris. this is where the top designers in the world introduce new clothes that no person would ever wear in real life under any circumstances. i don't know what the point of fashion week is but i don't know much about fashion. i asked my aunt chippy. she is 37 years old and lives in las vegas. she knows fashion. we showed her the new looks and here's what she had to say on those. >> hi, it's aunt chippy and it's fashion week. let's roll it and see what kind

of [ bleep ] they got this time. she has a butterfly on her vigina and two on her breast. i hope she doesn't bend over. i have no words for this one. she -- just go. this one here, that poor bastard unicorn was stuck in a lousy place with an ugly broad. [ bleep ]. let's go. let's go. what the frick is this? this looks like when they neuter the dog they put the thing around their collar so they don't have to see their nuts are gone. anything else? two penis guy. i'm sick of this. is there anybody out there doing decent crap! i'm done!

i'm done! >> jimmy: the way to do that. the way that we do that next time is we have her model the clothes. interesting technology news, broadcasters in japan are about to experiment with ultra high-definition. we have high-definition. this is ultra high, this is snoop dogg high-definition. it has four times the resolution of current hd tvs. do we need higher definition? here is the new episode of honey boo-boo. >> before you run through the door and you can't get out of the elevator -- >> jimmy: okay now what in god's name is trapped in the folds of this woman's neck? that -- this is why we've got to

stop ultra high-definition. anyone listening in japan round those tvs up and throw them into mount fuji. we don't want them. god almighty. and one more thing. this is a new segment i'd like to introduce. it's called "do you know" it's funny and shocking to find out what younger people don't know about. you assume everyone knows who elvis is. does anyone in this room not know who elvis is. there are a few people. elvis, abraham lincoln, santa claus. they are iconic. everyone knows elvis right? i took a picture of elvis presley out on to hollywood boulevard and rounded up some kids and the results were depressing. >> what's your name?

>> sadie. >> how old are you? >> five. >> do you know a lot of things? >> yes. >> okay. who's this? >> i don't know. >> never saw him? >> no. >> do you know who this is? >> i've seen that before but i don't know his name. >> do you know who this is? >> a famous singer who has a random scarf. >> do you know what his name is? >> no idea. >> no idea, huh? do you know who this man is? >> michael jackson? >> michael jackson, that's right. do you know who this is? [ laughter ] >> no. >> do you know who this is? >> yes.

>> who? >> elvis. >> what's his last name? >> i do not know. >> what is your favorite song of his? >> all of them. >> what one especially. >> i don't know the name but it has kind of a beat to it and i like that one. but i don't know the name of it. >> okay. do you know who this is? >> elvis. >> you know elvis well. you know what his nickname was? >> king of rock. >> that's right. king of rock 'n' roll. >> is he still alive? >> no. >> what happened to him? >> he died on the toilet. >> the kids from another country. we have j.b. smoove here tonight and music from gavin degraw and we'll be right back with jude law. stick around. [ gwen ] i used to sleep on the tour bus between shows.

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♪ ♪

>> jimmy: tonight on the program, a very funny guy who can be seen regularly on "curb your enthusiasm," and he has his own new website called theruckus.com. j.b. smoove is here. and then with music from this album, called "sweeter," gavin degraw with some help from cleto and the cletones tonight. tomorrow night, kourtney and kim kardashian will be here. maybe i should get an ultrasound

machine so i can interview the baby, too. from "girls" on hbo, adam driver will be here. and we'll have music from halestorm. and later this week, jennifer lawrence, katie couric, nicholas hoult and music from antibalas and tegan & sara. also -- quick programming note -- as you may have heard, last week, matt damon broke into my studio, tied me up, and hosted the show against my will. it was a very traumatic experience for me, so abc has decided to re-air it in primetime tomorrow night. the matt damon hosts again, tomorrow night at 10:00. our first guest has been nominated for most everything there is to be nominated for. his latest is a thriller directed by steven soderbergh. it's called "side effects." it opens in theaters february 8th. please welcome jude law. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm very well. >> jimmy: i'm glad you're here starting off our second decade. you're the first guest of the second decade. you want to pick and choose and make sure you make the right decisions. i read your first name is not jude which shocked me. >> it is, and it isn't. my parents -- i don't know what made them do this. my parents named me and our sister after our best friends. no one has called me david apart from a tabloid in england now calls me dave. >> jimmy: it's a scandal. that's annoying. >> on paper i'm david jude law. >> d.j. law. it sounds like a cop show. >> it could be a good tag. and i thought if i was a d.j., i

could be d.j., d.j. >> jimmy: spinning records by day and solving homicides by night. this is your parents' doing? >> everything is. i blame them for everything. >> jimmy: do you? >> i don't. they were good parents. >> jimmy: how many movies have you made now? >> i only know this because it was written in a magazine recently. i just turned 40 and last year i made my 40th film. >> jimmy: a film a year. >> i did one every year. >> jimmy: which is your favorite to make of all of those? do you have one that pops in mind? >> i don't know. it was fun working with spielberg. >> jimmy: steven spielberg? >> no, josh, his brother. >> jimmy: he's good too. >> that was fun. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i worked with a man who

passed away, but i made three films with him. they were a lot of fun. >> jimmy: i want to ask about david o'russell. i love the movie "i heart huckabees" i love that show. >> nomined for an academy award this year. >> jimmy: he is for "silver linings playbook" outtakes of that movie appeared online and the actors were annoyed by him. >> he was much loved. he really was. >> jimmy: was he really? >> yeah. he was a colorful character. >> jimmy: in what ways? >> i've seen "three kings" and loved it. and i read the script and it is an eccentric concept. he spent all dinner talking about a documentary and called yesterday and said he made the whole thing up and he wasn't

making a documentary at all which i thought was weird but i'll go along with that. he's the only director i know who directed from a sun lounger on set sometimes with a sombrero on. if it was sunny. and he was also the only director to -- you know, sometimes they play music a little bit to keep the mood of the scene right. >> jimmy: the song sets the tone. >> they would never turn it off. you would do the scene. as the scene would carry on you think that music is playing and he would turn it up and he would be like just ignore it. >> jimmy: how does that work in the final result of the film? >> i didn't have to do a lot of looping. i don't know. he made it work. >> jimmy: any time we tape anything here we have to stop down if there is a helicopter in van nuys.

you have four children, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and wide age range. how old is your oldest? >> 16. >> jimmy: boy or girl? >> 16-year-old son. >> jimmy: is he interested in doing what you're doing? is that something he wants to be involved with? >> some days he is monosyllabic and other days -- other days he does a lot. he is a musician and sportsman and into acting i think. i'll be the last person to know. >> jimmy: that's how it is, i guess. >> he's at that age where suddenly he's -- he loves his music. he loves buying movies but he thinks he is discovering everything. he will come down and say i saw this film "the god father" the other night. it will change your life. >> i'm like, yeah, i think i saw that one, thank you. but he is also for his generation he has an ability to

cross reference. i would wait months for a record to come out and i'd save up and sit on the bus looking after my record. and take it to school and show it off and listen to it over and over with your friends and with rap and he will download the catalog that night. >> jimmy: i remember spending hours in the record store going through records looking for something. >> that's right. or years sometimes searching for -- i hear this rough version of this thing once recorded. >> jimmy: you can get pornography like that on the line as well. everything's ruined. >> hopefully he's not doing that. >> jimmy: i'm sure he isn't. >> what 16-year-old would. >> jimmy: we'll come back and talk about his new movie, "side

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i came here and -- would we just go talk. >> is this an emergency? i can admit you. >> no. i just -- i was getting on the subway and -- and it was like

when i was in the car. i have to go to work. i just need five minutes. >> you're going to go to work after? >> okay. five minutes. >> okay. i'm sorry. call me after the interview. >> that is "side effects" in theaters on february 8th. this is -- i hesitate to get into the movie too much. it's a psychodrama and you can't talk about it. >> there are a couple of big twists. >> yeah. >> and it's better not to give those away. it will spoil the enjoyment of it. he makes intelligent and lean movies. it has a familiar and timely setting it's about prescription drugs and our relationship with

prescription drugs and the different layers of which we use them. some need them and some rely on it and some abuse them. >> jimmy: his last movie was "magic mike" and channing tatum is in this one as well. there was no dancing in this one. i can't talk about any of this stuff. but you play a psychiatrist in the film. >> i perfected my psychiatrist. >> jimmy: that's how you do it? really if you were a psychiatrist every female client maybe most of the men too would come out in love with you. it would be a real problem. you would have to do it like a priest in a confessional. he said this is the last movie he is going to direct? >> apparently so. >> jimmy: what did you do to him? >> i have been in two of the last three. clearly i've done something. i don't know. he's an incredibly talented guy. he paints and takes photographs. i think he wants to explore that

side of his talent and abilities more. i hope we see him back. >> jimmy: this one came out really, really great. it's called "side effects" in theaters on february 8th. jude law, everybody. we'll be back with j.b. smoove. ever have a really cool dream? i'm having one right now. i don't want to be disturbed. and i won't. because before i went to sleep, i set this. now my iphone knows not to ring, unless its important. 'cause disturbing this would just be .. wrong. is that even a word? [ laughing ] [ male announcer ] you bet it is.

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>> jimmy: hello and welcome back. our next guest is a very, very funny actor and comedian whom you know from "curb your enthusiasm" -- and now on the worldwide internet, too. his new website is called theruckus.com. please say hi to j.b. smoove. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: it's happening. >> give it up for mr. 11:35 man. >> this is your first visit at 11:35. does it feel difficult to you? >> even the chair feels softer. 11:35 has changed you. you guys look good too at 11:35. they are more awake. not so late. >> jimmy: you look sharper than usual tonight not that you don't always look sharp but there is an especial sharpness here. >> you have to icon yourself, jimmy. have you done that. >> jimmy: i have not yet. >> how i see you right now is how you are going to be forever. we don't know when it is going to end so you must icon yourself. when you take photos with people -- if people take pictures of you you always look away you icon yourself.

everybody do that all the time. >> jimmy: really? >> never look at the camera. guys never look at the camera ever. you give an icon pose. >> jimmy: what about the show should i look at this camera or always a little off. >> always a little off. from a certain angle you should look cockeyed. >> jimmy: we are ignoring the fact you brought snacks. >> do not ignore this. >> jimmy: what is this? >> i just came from an amazing trip to australia. >> jimmy: that's beautiful. >> jimmy oh -- i have considered myself a black australian anyway. >> jimmy: that was just icing on the cake. >> i didn't know what to expect. i boarded the plane me and my wife boarded the plane and i said here is my ticket and she

said you're upstairs. i panicked. i thought all the black people was on the roof of the plane. >> jimmy: you never know. it happens in some areas. >> it does happen. i'm not aborigine. i'm american-black. >> jimmy: what is this now? >> this is the number one snack in australia and i brung you some of these. it's called tim tam. they are a shorter version of our -- i guess -- a candy like twix. but when i got there i was so impressed by the tim tam i started calling myself tim tam. everybody wanted to call me chocolate tim tam. it's really a stripper name -- >> jimmy: tim tam?

>> so these are so delicious. when you go to the store to buy these and you open them up before you pay for them and you take a row out and get more and pay for more with a tim tam. >> jimmy: that's currency? >> of course they do. >> jimmy: i had no idea. >> it's considered currency. >> jimmy: that looks great. i hate you had to depart with your tim tam. you have a boomerang too. have you tried to throw it? >> you only throw it when you are in a place where it can and come back to you. if you don't have the space it hits a wall. it only comes back if it has room to come back. >> jimmy: did you see animals over there? there are many dangerous and many adorable animals in australia. >> i was so disappointed.

not one kangaroo or koala bear. i was there ten days. >> jimmy: what? >> ten days and didn't see one. >> jimmy: how is that possible? >> i said where are all the kangaroos and koala bears? >> jimmy: did you go to the zoo? >> we went hiking. we were figuring one would hop buy right? >> jimmy: you would think. >> the koala bears are useless. they never move. they hold the tree the whole time thinking they're so cute right? they never do anything. they never run around or do anything. >> jimmy: they sleep like 23 hours a day or something. >> i heard they are high on eucalyptus leaves. the leaves make them high and that's why they never move. >> jimmy: is that right? koalas are stoned? >> look it up! >> jimmy: i had no idea. >> one thing that is out of control, the flies over there, the flies are so aggressive.

>> jimmy: houseflies? >> these are outside flies. >> jimmy: really? >> i'm not playing, jimmy. there's so many of them. they are crawling all over your face. they tell you just ignore them, j.b. i can't ignore flies on my face. and they're big. when you land on you you hear them land. they are big, big eyes you can see your reflection in their eyes. checking your hair like okay. >> jimmy: you don't want that. >> yeah. they land on you and sit there like that rubbing their legs together like this. flies are very good at yoga. people don't know that. they have three rows of feet. rubbing this one and the hind leg and balance on the middle ones. >> jimmy: when you're in australia do people know you

there? do they know "curb your enthusiasm" there? >> they love it there. here's another thing, write it down. there is nothing better than when you go somewhere and you're already there before you get there. oh, jot it down, jimmy. words of knowledge. icon yourself. and get there before you get there. >> jimmy: get there before you get there. great advice. were you doing stand up over there? >> i did three -- four shows, three cities, ten days and -- that's the sad part my days off i didn't see animals. we did shows in sydney, melbourne and brisbane. i thank everyone in australia for coming out to support me. it's amazing. >> jimmy: and all stand up shows? >> all stand up shows. a lot of cool press, met some

great people on radio and television. they want me to come back. i cannot wait to go back. that was my dream when i was a kid to go to australia. and the wife and i went there. they flew us first class. i tell you what is classy about this trip not only was i wrong about being on the roof of the plane brks you they gave us pajamas. >> jimmy: oh, yeah right. >> we got in the first class. and when someone hands you pajamas it's so surprising, right? you go to prison you get a jump suit. but to get -- jimmy, when someone hands you pajamas it's like i've made it! i've made it! i'm going to put these on. >> jimmy: sounds like a great trip. >> amazing. >> jimmy: you're launching a website. >> theruckus.com. i've done so many brands and i

appreciate the companies that have been calling us about branding them. we put a funny spin on your product and sell it in a funny way. i love doing it. i'm the black darren stevens anyway. you know darren stevens? >> jimmy: from "bewitched" do i know darren stevens i'm a regular larry tate here. >> i'll be the black darren stevens and -- >> jimmy: we'll be popular in australia. you'll be on b.e.t. tomorrow right? >> 10:00 p.m. on b.e.t. you're my man. >> jimmy: you're my man. right back with gavin degraw.

next, he's unmasked and unapologetic about his anti-illegal immigration crusade. and r.j. brewer

>> jimmy: this is his album. it is called "sweeter." playing the song, "soldier," with some help from cleto and the cletones, gavin degraw. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ la da da dah

la da la da dah la da da dah la da da dah ♪ ♪ where did all the people go they got scared when the lights went low ♪ ♪ i'll get you through it nice and slow when the world's spinning out of control ♪ ♪ afraid of what they might lose might get scraped or they might get bruised ♪ ♪ you could beg but what's the use that's why it's called the moment of truth ♪ ♪ i'll get it if you need it i'll search if you don't see it ♪ ♪ you're thirsty i'll be your rain you get hurt i'll take your pain ♪ ♪ i know you don't believe it but i said it and i still mean it ♪ ♪ when you heard

what i told you when you get worried i'll be your soldier ♪ ♪ funny when times get hard at the last moment when you're supposed to charge ♪ ♪ always on the longest yard whoa they feel their feet getting cold ♪ ♪ hiding here hiding there find them underneath the stairs ♪ ♪ people hiding everywhere trying to be still as a stone ♪ ♪ i'll get it if you need it i'll search if you can't see it ♪ ♪ you're thirsty i'll be your rain you get hurt i'll take your pain ♪ ♪ i know you don't believe it but i said it and i still mean it ♪ ♪ when you heard what i told you when you get worried i'll be your soldier ♪

♪ my aim is so true i wanna show you ♪ ♪ i'll try forever i'm never gonna say surrender ♪ ♪ i'll get it if you need it i'll search if you can't see it ♪ ♪ you're thirsty i'll be your rain you get hurt i'll take your pain ♪ ♪ i know you don't believe it but i said it and i still mean it ♪ ♪ when you heard what i told you when you get worried i'll be your soldier ♪ ♪ na na na na na na nah na na na na na na nah i'll be your soldier ♪ ♪ na na na na na na nah na na na na na na nah i'll be your soldier ♪

♪ na na na na na na nah na na na na na na nah i'll be your soldier ♪ ♪ na na na na na na nah na na na na na na nah [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you can see a bonus song at jimmykimlelive.com. >> jimmy: i want to thank jude law, j.b. smoove. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time. tomorrow night, kim and kourtney kardashian, adam driver and music from halestorm. stay tuned for "nightline." good night.