congested for the 85th annual oscars which are live sunday, 7:00 eastern, 4:00 pacific. while that show is designed to single out those people who are in movies, tonight we are going to single out the people who go to the movies. tonight we present the award for "most obnoxious movie-goer." the spoiler. >> he's going to pass the 13th amendment. watch him. see. >> jimmy: the texting teenager. >> sup with lincoln's ugly hat. yolo. >> jimmy: the person who thinks everything in a movie is supposed to be realistic. >> yeah, right, like abraham lincoln would marry sally field. >> jimmy: and the very old person who has no idea what's going on. >> who's that? >> abraham lincoln.

>> is that the guy from before? why are you touching me? >> jimmy: and the winner is -- >> it's me? >> jimmy: the spoiler. >> see, it was me. >> may each of you get lost at sea. in upstate new york, you know, a woman in upstate new york has been arrested for hiring strippers to perform at her son's 16th birthday party. i have always wondered can you beep arrested for being too good a mother? and apparently, apparently the mom rented a bowling alley. she wanted to make the party a memorable one. she went on the web and found a company topsinbottoms. ordered two strippers. even dina and michael lohan were like "that's a really bad parenting choice."

though it was a kids' party they not only stripped. they gave lap dances. someone took this picture which is disgusting. she is not even wearing bowling shoes. those heels will scuff the lane and ruin it for everyone. remind me a lot of my 16th birthday party only minus the strippers and the bowling. for my 16th birthday my mother gave me an izod shirt. this happened in november, apparently, lawn enforcement officials just got wivend of it because parents have been hearing about it from some of the kids at the party. little narcs. have done at your next boring little dave and buster's party, little rats. the mother is charged with five counts of endangering the welfare of a child and could face a year in prison. her son had to go to a emergency room he tore a ligament getting high fives in school. in sunrise, florida, a shooting outside a golf course. terrible.

when reporter, peter dent, went to the scene to cover the story he got some unexpected help from passers-by in tonight's edition of "behind the news." ♪ >> if you can help, call broward crimestoppers. >> peter, sorry about that. >> all right. let's see that again. >> if you can help, call broward crimestoppers at 954 -- >> peter, sorry about that. >> sometimes, action news has a little too much action. also from florida. florida atlantic university announced a new corporate sponsor for their new football stadium. it is the geo group which happens to be america's second largest operator for for-profit prisons. so the stadium is sponsored by prisons. i guess they figured a lot of the athletes end up in prison

anyway. and cuts down a step. the geo group paid $6 million for the naming rights. the school says very little will change. the only change they're making, hot dogs will now go for two packs of cigarettes. this is dumb, the u.s. postal service is launching a clothing line and sell post office clothes. which makes sense because every time i want to go to the post office. man like the european fashion show in here. where can i get some of that stuff? the postal service is teaming with a company in cleveland, put out a lean of clothing and accessories, rain, eat, and snow. all leather gear, coats, headgear and shoes. the perfect attire for stealing social security checks out of people's mailboxes. the post office is hoping this idea takes off. they're in deep financial trouble. the last quarter of 2012, the post office lost $1.3 billion. listen, i am going to repeat this. a great idea. i have a simple and 100% guaranteed way to save the post office. legalize pot and put them in

charge of delivery. [ cheers and applause ] you know what? if the pot makes the mailman slower, who cares, mellow out. of course that will never happen. instead they will focus on selling helmets and shorts. they're not only selling clothes talking about releasing a new cologne. ♪ >> announcer: introducing a new fragrance by the u.s. postal service. manila. smell like an envelope. go places. manila. manila. express mail your senses. mm. paper. adhesive. manila. by the u.s. postal service.

[ cheers and applause ] >> the smell of mail. >> jimmy: a good idea. it's manila. a good idea? what? as you may have heard in november, the state of colorado voted to legalize the recreational use of marijuana. and a task force there has been frying to figure out all the details. right now they're preparing for marijuana tourism. currently only colorado residents can purchase marijuana in the state. but they may open the opportunity up to nonresidents too. the new state slogan is come for the legal marijuana, stay because you forgot to leave. if they do allow nonresidents to purchase marijuana -- [ applause ] -- the task force is recommending signs be posted at all colorado airports reminding visitors they cannot take the pot home with them. i guess there is some concern about tourists getting on a mren and getting busted when they land. i would be more concerned about them getting on the mren plane

all. i would be concerned losing them at wetzel's pretzels. never a better time to open an orange julius at the denver airport. a new world record set in an arcade in new jersey, a 38-year-old man, george lutz played the longest game of qbetter ever. 84 hours, 48 minutes. broke the world record for qbetter and broke the world record for most time wasted by a person ever. here is a picture of george. oh, wait, i'm sorry, that's not the right photo. this is a picture of george. his hair was short when he started playing. took him four days to break the record. the most impressive part of this to me is there is an arcade that still has a qbert machine. congratulations to george. in a way kind of nice to see some one acompolish something while simultaneously accomplishing nothing at all. i saw a very funny and, yet somewhat unsettling clip on line

this morning. apparently goats sound like humans when they bleet. and it is super weird. a bunch of people posting videos of this. somebody cut a bunch of them together. if you didn't see the individually you would think you were hearing the sound of neighbors being murdered. listen to this. [ goats bleeting ] >> yeah, boy! >> jimmy: that was a little goat. we have some fun guests tonight, from live and kelly and michael, michael strahan is here tonight. michael is actually, here to dispel the room m-- roo -- rumo

miles terrell and music dido. and men, they go by the name of tummy talk. and this is what they do. ♪ >> jimmy: that's pretty great,

right? now, that was all on tape. so i dent know how many times it took them to get it right. tonight we will find out if they can do that live. a new feature called "can they do it live?" and it is coming up next, so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] [ male announcer ] it's surprising what your mouth goes through in a day. but what's even more surprising is that brushing alone isn't enough to keep it clean. fortunately, you've got listerine®. unlike brushing which misses 75% of your mouth, listerine® cleans virtually your entire mouth. so what are you waiting for? it's time to take your mouth to a whole new level of health. listerine®... power to your mouth™. and take the listerine® 21 day challenge. feel the difference, or your money back. ♪

♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] get email that lets you share, organize and stay up-to-date like never before. anything that touches your face can feel like this. don't let it get to you. ♪ try mach3 sensitive, with three high-definition blades. a closer shave in a single stroke, for less irritation, even on sensitive skin. ♪ get closer to the one you love. ♪ gillette mach3 sensitive. gillette. the best a man can get. when your allergies start, doctors recommend taking one non-drowsy claritin every day during your allergy season for continuous relief.

18 days! 12 days! 24 days of continuous relief. live claritin clear. every day. a hairline fracture to the mandible and contusions to the metacarpus. what do you see? um, i see a duck. be more specific. i see the aflac duck. i see the aflac duck out of work and not making any money. i see him moving in with his parents and selling bootleg dvds out of the back of a van. dude, that's your life. remember, aflac will give him cash to help cover his rent, car payments and keep everything as normal as possible. i see lunch. [ monitor beeping ] let's move on. [ male announcer ] find out what a hospital stay could really cost you at aflac.com. ♪ [ male announcer ] start with a groundbreaking car. good. then invent an entirely new way to buy one. no. no. no. yes!

a website that works like a wedding registry. but for a car. first, you customize it. then let people sponsor the car's parts as gifts. dad sponsors the engine for your birthday. grandma sponsors the rims for graduation. the car gets funded. then you pick up your new dodge dart at the dealership. and all that's left to do is say thanks. easy. ♪ days of walking to give a breast cancer survivor a lifetime--

that's definitely a fair trade. it was such a beautiful experience. (jessica lee) ♪ and it's beautiful (woman) why walk 60 miles in the boldest breast cancer event in history? because your efforts help komen serve millions of women and men facing breast cancer every year. visit the3day.org to register or to request more information today. it was 3 days of pure joy. ♪ and it's beautiful ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight on the show, miles teller is here. we have music from dido. are on the way. a quick note, we played a popular internet clip. the clip, with the kid who plays basketball, you probably have seen it. 2-year-old boy from kansas his name is titus. he sings dozens of impressive

shots. like nerf basketball hoop at his house. and then titus went on the "today" show and missed nearly every single shot. so i made fun of him. i suggested maybe he isn't as good as the edited video suggests. you have to do that with kids. you can't let them. i don't care how old they are. then i received the following video from his dad. >> hello, jimmy kimmel. quick shot titus' dad. caught your show the other day. saw that you said titus, quote, stinks without editing. now i could point out that we had just flown halfway across the country the day before, we woke up at 4:00 a.m. or in a place that he had never been before. but i won't bring that up. titus wouldn't want that. or at least i think that's not what he would want. he doesn't talk. hard to know for sure. but what i think he would wand is to challenge, you, jimmy to a game of horse. here's how it will work. he makes a shot yew three times

his height. you make a shot three times your height. you make a shot from 25 feet. then we'll see who need editing to look good. and one more thing, titus, can you say, jimmy. >> jimmy. >> you are -- >> you are -- >> going -- >> going -- >> down. >> down. >> jimmy: the kid has a pretty big mouth for somebody who still poops on himself. i accepted the challenge. tomorrow night, titus and i will go head-to-head. tomorrow night. tune in to watch me compete with a baby. this could be a new low for me. hey, we have some other young men here to prove themselves tonight. tonight our first installment of "can they do it live?" and to answer that question -- all the way from salt lake city utah, please welcome the men of tummy talk.

yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, guys. how are you doing? welcome. welcome. thank you for coming all the way out here. how are you. thanks. i enjoyed the video. your names? >> my name is matt. >> tyrone. >> neil. >> i understood your names. your names i will need some spelling help with, yes. yes. now you guys are friends is that how it came together? >> yep we have been friends for 20 years basically. >> jimmy: your video has 3.5 million views on youtube. whose idea was this? >> actually the producer of the video. mike. >> jimmy: it's mike's. mike is here in the audience right now. >> how you doing, jimmy? >> jimmy: i heard you work for the utah jazz. >> i run the jumbotron. >> jimmy: something you thought of, an event at halftime. >> i was just in the shower slapping myself, i said it sound so much, it would sound so much better if i just had more girth

and skill. >> is that your wife? >> my girlfriend. >> jimmy: girlfriend. did your wife know about this? >> we ftry to keep it quiet. >> jimmy: mike is smacking himself in the shower and thinks of you guys. what i was wondering is how many times did it take for you to get it right? >> about five. >> jimmy: five times. okay you made the video in august. didn't post it until. when? >> january. >> jimmy: what took so long, why did it take three months to put it up? >> a little editing. our producer wanted to get a website up and going. >> jimmy: how did you get involved being the slappee for this? >> he invited me to come and film one time, one day. i ended up being there. >> jimmy: needed a big guy, right? >> i didn't really tell him what we were going to do. >> jimmy: all right. are you feeling ready, confident you can nail this on the first

try? >> yep. >> jimmy: ready to do it? >> yep. >> jimmy: here we go. guys go in the back. make an entrance here. we are going to find out -- we are going to find out, can they do it live? ladies and gentlemen, tummy talk! [ cheers and applause ] #

[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. very well done. very nicely done. i would like to see you at the oscars this weekend. a cool thing. thank you very much. you need a snare drum, we have him here. tummy talk, everybody. and miles teller and we have music from dido. and we'll be right back with michael strahan -- so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] tax refund time is here. i'm with malcom and kelly who are looking for a great new smartphone. you think you can find one at walmart? maybe. let's go see. alright. let him tell you about sprint. we've got the samsung galaxy s iii on the sprint 4g

lte network for just $148! nice! wow. and -- you get a $50 gift card. awesome. we can split it. i don't think so. okay. [ earl ] see for yourself. get a $50 walmart gift card when you buy any samsung smartphone on the sprint 4g lte network. now through march 2nd. walmart. [ male announcer ] right now so many of your favorite subway footlongs are $5 footlongs, all february long! like the classic tuna, the kicking buffalo chicken the turkey breast and black forest ham and more. just $5! get in while the getting's good! ♪ at subway! uh, hey. i'm bob. lked at the tax store. i did your taxes. well, i thought you were a tax expert. ( female announcer reading ) ...than all major tax stores combined.

♪ ♪ if loving you is wrong ♪ i don't wanna be right [ record scratch ] what?! it's not bad for you. it just tastes that way. [ female announcer ] honey nut cheerios cereal -- heart-healthy, whole grain oats. you can't go wrong loving it. bee happy. bee healthy. with clusts of flakes and o's. oh, ho ho... it's the honey sweetness. i...i mean, you...love.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the program, his new movie is called "21 and over." miles teller is here. and then with music from this cd -- it comes out march 26th, "girl who got away." dido is here. tomorrow night, kelly ripa will be with us, as will the founder of spacex and tesla motors -- elon musk. and we'll have music from the mowglis. and on sunday, our 8th annual "jimmy kimmel live after the oscars special." on t east coast, we'll air live after the oscars and late local news, and on the west coast, we're on in primetime at

10:00 p.m. our guests that night are jamie foxx, channing tatum, and robin roberts. and we'll unval our new celebrity packed sequel to our big hit video last year -- that one was called "movie: the movie." this, we have titled "movie: the movie: twovie." and we have a quite a lineup of stars for that one too. almost a ridiculous lineup of stars. please watch. our first guest has blazed an unusual career path. he went from knocking people unconscious on the football field to waking them up on tv. he is the gregarious and gigantic co-host of "live! with kelly and michael." watch their annual "after oscar show" monday with special guest, me. please say hello to michael strahan. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: did you -- meet the stomach slapping guys?

tummy talk? >> no, i didn't. >> a shame. >> great to see. please put the robe back on quick though. a lot to see there. >> jimmy: you just flew in from disney world right? >> flew in from disney. shooting at disney. it has been great. >> jimmy: you and your fiancee have like 37 kids between you. >> nine. >> jimmy: how many of them were at the park with you there? >> six. >> jimmy: at disney world. oh, boy. >> like you are a tour director. come on. don't get lost. it, it wears you out. and my little ones they're 8 years old the i took them to new fantasyland. i am cool on everything, go upside down. all that. i can't do that teacup spin. >> jimmy: me neither. >> they made me sick. daddy this is fun. i'm going it is not so fun when i am throwing up. >> jimmy: that's why they're shaped like cups. a terrible ride. really is. a medieval torture device.

>> a horrible ride. after five days i was worn out. >> jimmy: i bet. >> tired. >> jimmy: bring six kids to disney. you are happy if you come back with four of them. >> yeah. >> jimmy: right. >> we tried to lose a few. >> jimmy: a picture of you and her together at disney world. not sure if you have seen that. see, the gap in there, you know what i am saying. now you haven't been here since, i have been on your show. >> you came on the show. >> jimmy: sense you got the job. they made you audition for a long time, didn't they? >> months. basically nine months. >> jimmy: they brought in every man in america to audition for the role. were you sitting at home watching and evaluating the other guys? >> of course. there were 59 people. 59 people. i must admit i sat at home and i hated on people. oh, the crowd laughing. he ain't that funny.

i don't see why they're laughing. >> jimmy: of the 59, how many did you hate? >> all, all 58. every one of them. >> jimmy: which was the worst in your opinion, which was the worst? >> can't say that. >> do you have somebody in mind? >> exactly who was the worst. >> jimmy: save that for your big special monday morning. >> after sweeps. >> jimmy: things are going well with kelly. >> great with kelly. kelly its a sweetheart. >> jimmy: they make you dress up in nonsensical costumes especially halloween? >> yeah, we do all kind of crazy things. when i got the job i knew they did a big halloween show. i didn't know to what extent. they came to my dressing room. halloween show is coming up. we need to find out what size bra you wear. i'm like, people used to be afraid of me. now -- you are ruining all of my toughness. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: you are right. just out of curiosity what size bra do you wear? >> a big one. i don't know. it was big. i had to dress up as oprah. i was serena williams. and i have had to pad my butt for serena. a big butt. then i, was either, i was also madea, from tyler perry. hello there, jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: i feel like they have been waiting for so many years with regis and kelly there. finally we can have black characters on the show. let's make michael every black woman in america. >> yes. and speaking of which when i got back in the dressing room. you are very good at giving gifts. when i got the job you sent me a nice basket and a note saying congratulations. you have very tiny shoes to fill, which was funny. and then, speaking, speaking of the -- i laughed look you d eed like y read it. but speaking of black characters

on our show. when i got here there was watermelon in my dressing room. yeah, walter mtermelon. i know it is not even watermelon season. so -- is jimmy trying to tell me something. then i finished it all. i mean -- thank you for the watermelon, man. i know you went out of your way to get it. >> jimmy: now i am praying our next guest, miles got watermelon too. because -- >> i will look in his room when i get out of here. >> jimmy: i will be on the show monday. >> let's take a quick break, and talk about the fact you are dragging me out of bed at 4:00. >> we love you. >> jimmy: michael strahan is with us. we will be right back. and then you'll be turned into one and you will have to stay in and then you'll have to get shaved because you will be too hot and then you're like... [ growling ]

which means i wish i was back to a human. what? [ male announcer ] it's not complicated. faster is better. and iphone 5 downloads fastest on at&t 4g. ♪ andi had[ designer ]eelingtest enough of just covering up my moderate to severe plaque psoriasis. i decided enough is enough. ♪ [ spa lady ] i started enbrel. it's clinically proven to provide clearer skin. [ rv guy ] enbrel may not work for everyone -- and may not clear you completely, but for many, it gets skin clearer fast, within 2 months, and keeps it clearer through 6 months. [ male announcer ] enbrel may lower your ability to fight infections. serious, sometimes fatal events, including infections, tuberculosis, lymphoma, other cancers, nervous system and blood disorders, and allergic reactions have occurred. before starting enbrel, your doctor should test you for tuberculosis and discuss whether you've been to a region where certain engal infections are common. you should not start enbrel

if you have an infection like the flu. tell your doctor if you're prone to infections, have cuts or sores, have had hepatitis b, have been treated for heart failure, or if you have symptoms such as persistent fever, bruising, bleeding, or paleness. if you've had enou, ask your dermatologist about enbrel. go olive garden's three course italian dinner. just $12.95. choose one of five new entrees like penne di mare with shrimp. plus soup or salad and finish with dessert. 3 courses, just $12.95!

go olive garden! our go sleeveless deodorant for five days. ♪ everybody got two t-shirts as well, a short sleeved and a sleeveless one. which would they wear on day five? ♪ sleeveless. definitely sleeveless. ♪ what? i just like the t-shirt. [ female announcer ] for visibly softer, smoother underarms, sleeveless ready in just five days. dove go sleeveless deodorant.

new griddle-melts to yourime usual breakfast sandwich. a lot more flavor. [ anouncer ] ihop's new griddle melts... made fresh and hot! hand crafted just for you. it's like a sexy sandwich. [ anouncer ] compare new griddle melts yourself. just $4.99. it's an epic breakfast sandwich. ♪ yeeeowwww! ♪ hot mess hot mess hot mess ♪ ♪ you're a hot kind of love you set me on fire ♪ ♪ you spice up my night feed my every desire ♪

jack's one hit wonder is now a burger. the hot mess is loaded with spicy jalapeños, onion rings and gooey pepper jack cheese. ♪ you're a - a hot mess and that's how i met your mom. ♪ hot mess

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. are you prepared, are you ready for our big show monday morning after the oscars? >> you are coming on. so that's great. i can't wait for that. because you came on with us in new york. you are gracious enough to wake up early. i don't know who else is going to wake up for a show at 6:00. >> that's the problem. >> we need somebody coming straight from the party. hopefully a winner. bring the trophy. >> quinton tarantino stays up all night. just have the limo driver take

him to your studio. don't tell him where he is going. >> he seems a little unpredictable. i don't know about that. live tv, 6:00 in the morning after cocktails, hey. >> have a little fun. >> the thing you don't know who is going to come on, who is going to be up, who is going to win. hopefully winners. i am looking for ward to it. i have never been to the oscars. i'm on the red carpet asking questions. >> jimmy: will you tackle people as they go by? >> that is a good way to do it by the way. >> if they don't stop, yeah. i used to always watch. hey, denzel, denzel, come here. denzel better stop, man. he belttter stop. >> jimmy: terrible position to be in. you are used to as a football player, rushing by the crowd not having to stop for people or reporters. this is karma. about to get your pay back.

>> i'm the rookie. >> like the rookie hazing you are getting. >> like the rookie hazing. >> jimmy: did you get it hassed in the fe in the nfl? >> i had to buy donuts for the team, equipment guy, coaches, trainers, up front, and 12 dozen bagels, 12 dozen donuts. three dozen muffins and juice. lawrence taylor used to make me find prune juice. >> jimmy: what? where can you find prune juice? >> up at 6:00 in the morning. i got to get the prune juice, he will kill me if i don't. >> jimmy: god only knows what he was up to with that prune juice. you know? i can't even imagine. you -- well, the oscars, you have been to the espys before, right? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: just like that. instead of ray lewis you have daniel day-lewis. basically the same thing. i think you are going to enjoy it your first time.

>> i think i will enjoy it. i am nervous about the questions on the red carpet. i get somebody coming in, nervous they're up for an oscar they don't know if they're going to win or not. kelly is doing backstage after. she gets them where they get champagne and kind of drunk and have a trophy in their hand and happy. so i don't know. i don't know if i feel good. jimmy, what are you wearing today? >> jimmy: you dent waon't want that. do you care what they're sfwhae wearing? >> not really. >> jimmy: would you know what they're wearing if they told you what they're wearing? >> i would go, yeah, it's nice. >> jimmy: here is one of the moves, guillermo knows, problem, a lot of things you are talking to somebody, you see a better star come up from behind them and then you have to get rid of that star so that, like jack nicholson will come to you. that's the real key. that's where the magic, where ryan seacrest -- >> i need to learn. i need to call ryan.

i need to learn how to usher you out when i dent want yon't want. >> jimmy: ryan would be helpful. or maybe not. maybe keeps his secrets to himself. when you get bored. i have got to stretch. push them down the line. to entertainment tonight. >> saying thank you very much. good luck today. next. >> jimmy: you could do that they way too. >> that way too. >> jimmy: either way. >> expecting me to mess up. >> jimmy: will you have prune juice for me when i show up. >> whatever you want. >> jimmy: michael strahan, everybody. the "live with kelly and michael after oscar show" airs monday morning at 9. a lot of drunk people so watch it. we'll be right back with the miles teller. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] when ziggy the cat appeared at their door, he opened up jake's very private world. at first, jake's family thought they saved ziggy,

but his connection with jake has been a lifesaver. for a love this strong, his family only feeds him iams. compared to other leading brands, it has 50% more animal protein... ...to help keep ziggy's body as strong as a love that reaches further than anyone's words. iams. keep love strong. in the middle of the night it can be frustrating. it's hard to turn off and go back to sleep. intermezzo is the first and only prescription sleep aid approved for use as needed in the middle of the night when you can't get back to sleep. it's an effective sleep medicine you don't take before bedtime. take it in bed only when you need it and have at least four hours left for sleep. do not take intermezzo if you have had an allergic reaction

to drugs containing zolpidem, such as ambien. allergic reactions such as shortness of breath or swelling of your tongue or throat may occur and may be fatal. intermezzo should not be taken if you have taken another sleep medicine at bedtime or in the middle of the night or drank alcohol that day. do not drive or operate machinery until at least 4 hours after taking intermezzo and you're fully awake. driving, eating, or engaging in other activities while not fully awake without remembering the event the next day have been reported. abnormal behaviors may include aggressiveness, agitation, hallucinations, or confusion. alcohol or taking other medicines that make you sleepy may increase these risks. in depressed patients, worsening of depression, including risk of suicide, may occur. intermezzo, like most sleep medicines, has some risk of dependency. common side effects are headache, nausea, and fatigue. so if you suffer from middle-of-the-night insomnia, ask your doctor about intermezzo and return to sleep again.

♪ ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] prepare yourself for the feeling of more water without using more water. with the unique wave pattern of delta h2okinetic technology. another way delta is more than just a shower. see what delta can do. home of the all-new grilled onion cheddar burger, topped with melty white cheddar and caramelized onions. plus all your tasty favorites for just a dollar each. every day. ♪ that owns that aquarium store. he's not gonna sell you some labradoodle, he's gonna sell you tropical fish! he's got salt water tanks, fresh water tanks,

brackish tanks, tanks you can't even fathom. that fish?! no you're not ready for that fish. precision aquatic manipulation. he boils his water perfectly for his velveeta shells & cheese. advantage. this guy. liquid gold. eat like that guy you know. ♪ ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] get email that lets you share, organize and stay up-to-date like never before.

>> jimmy: this is our next guest's first time on a talk show. today is his 26th birthday and his family is in the audience. so let's try not to screw this up for him. his new movie, "21 and over" opens in theaters march 1st, please welcome miles teller. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: first talk show appearance. >> i was thinking how you walk on to the talk show. do the last drum thing. acknowledge the band. you were fantastic. i am doing it and i am on a talk show. this is crazy. i get told that all the time. >> jimmy: was there watermelon in the dressing room? in your dressing room? >> no. >> jimmy: there better be watermelon. >> strawberries, grapes, no watermelon. absolutely not. >> jimmy: happy birthday. today. >> it is my real birthday. >> jimmy: 26. >> 26, yeah. >> jimmy: started celebrating? >> celebrated last night. for your show i would not come on drunk. but right when i leave here i will be. >> jimmy: guillermo could get

you drunk before you exit on the way out. something like that. >> tequila. >> jimmy: you brought photographs, tell us what are we looking at here? >> these are, it's like my group of best friends. i grew up in florida. they all flew up to new york for my birthday. if you look close my mom made neon green t-shirts with my face on them. i made them all wear them. dude -- >> jimmy: your mom made t-shirts with your face and crown on it. >> this is why you suffer from high self-esteem, i imagine. >> my buddy beau didn't want to wear it. he said he wouldn't hook up with any chicks. but he did. >> jimmy: he did wear it or hooked up with chicks. >> beth and both, yes and yes. so i think that was good for beau. beau. >> jimmy: where are you from? >> citrus county, florida. >> jimmy: citrus county?

>> sound exotic, like there is beaches and stuff. it is the manatee capital of the world. >> jimmy: where are they living in lakes? >> lakes, rivers and stuff. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: really. thought they were in the ocean? >> like a lake, a river? >> jimmy: we call that the ocean i think. >> the ocean, they're around. they're endangered, simjimmy. >> jimmy: you and beau were running around drunk in the area. >> looking for them. >> jimmy: originally from there, you were born? >> in pennsylvania, lived in georgia, new york, delaware, couple years, cape may for a couple years, thanks, dad. then i moved to florida for like middle school and high school, yeah. >> jimmy: this movie called "21 and over." >> really funny. yeah. >> jimmy: it is funny and dirty and you are naked in a lot of it. >> i'm not naked. >> jimmy: well you are wearing a sock.

>> on my not foot, not my foot. a sock on -- can you say it? >> jimmy: has your mom seen it? no she is here in the audience. how do you feel about the fact that your son will be wearing only a sock. >> she says george clooney doesn't do nudity because he respects his mother. >> i said ryan gosling doesn't. >> jimmy: because he respects his mother? >> when his mother comes to his movies what i read he gives her an ipod, a headset, and tells her kind of taps her when the scenes are coming, and, and so she doesn't watch them and hear them. >> jimmy: never thought about this, maybe ryan's mother raised him better than you did? >> not true. not true. >> jimmy: turn it around on her. >> no -- >> jimmy: get her an ipod.

what good will the ipod do when you see your son naked with a sock on his private parts. >> bought my imask. >> jimmy: in your eyes it won't help. >> the sound of it. the sound of it. >> i have an imask i bought. >> jimmy: will you tip her off or trick her and tell her the wrong time? >> i think, i told her, you know, what was going to be happening. let my parents read the scripts. oh, my god, i am going to see your butt. i haven't seen your butt since you were 5. and i said you will see the front. and she said i will see the nest. the nest. >> jimmy: why do you say the nest? >> well, you know. turn around, ask her. >> jimmy: why do you call it the nest? >> oh, my goodness. bah it kind of, i just imagine that it would kind of look like a nest. you know, the shape and i don't

know. he didn't have a nest when he was 5. that's the last time i have seen him. >> wow. wow. this has been a wild -- >> thought i was coming on for the handsome man club. >> jimmy: you danced in. you went be dancing out. it is very good to meet you and your mom too. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: the movie is called "21 and over" opens in theaters march 1st. when we come back, music from dido. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ well, well, well.

growing up, we didn't have u-verse. we couldn't record four shows at the same time. in my day, you were lucky if you could record two shows. and if mom was recording her dumb show and dad was recording his dumb show then, by george, that's all we watched. and we liked it! today's kids got it so good. [ male announcer ] get u-verse tv for just $19 a month for 1 year when you bundle tv and internet. rethink possible. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: her new album, "girl who got away" comes out march 26th. here with the song, "no freedom," dido. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ take it by your silence that i'm free to walk out the door by the look in your eyes ♪ i can tell you don't think i'll be back for more try to think of the world ♪ ♪ where you could stay and these safe hands could go take your heart above the water ♪ ♪ wherever i choose to go no love without freedom no love without freedom no love without freedom ♪

♪ no freedom without love even when you don't see me even when you don't hear i'll be flying ♪ ♪ low below the sun and you'll feel it all out here no love without freedom ♪ ♪ no love without freedom no love without freedom no freedom without love no love without freedom ♪ ♪ no love without freedom no love without freedom no freedom without love ♪ no love without freedom

no love without freedom no freedom without love no freedom without love standing here in silence ♪ ♪ the world in front of me holding you in my hand and seeing as you'd see no love without freedom ♪ ♪ no love without freedom no love without freedom no freedom without love no freedom without love ♪ no freedom without love ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: i want to thank michael strahan, miles teller. and tummy talk. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. tomorrow night -- kelly ripa, elon musk and music from the mowglis. thanks for watching. "nightline" is next. this is the cd -- "girl who got away" comes out march 26th, playing us off the air with "white flag" -- see the full performance at jimmykimmellive.com. once again, dido! good night! ♪ ♪ i know you think that i shouldn't still love you or tell you that but if i didn't say it ♪ ♪ well i'd still have felt it where's the sense in that i promise i'm not trying to make your life harder ♪ ♪ or return to where we were