[ laughter ] >> it's the most monotonous episode yet. it's the bachelor no one says [ bleep ] special. >> jimmy: just what we've got. i like to say happy birthday to justin bieber who turned 19 this weekend. he had a bad time at his party. regardedly he threw himself a circus themed birthday party but ended up storming out after a run in with the security guard. he tweeted worst birthday. it will get worse than that. they tried to get will smith's 14-year-old son jady in and the minimum age is 18. and justin said he left on his

own when he realized he forget to wear a shirt and his pants were falling down. that is what he wore to his party. he goes to a club with no shirt and it was 35 degrees in london on friday night. how is it possible that no one in this situation gives him a wedgie? nobody. it doesn't make any sense. have to ask diddy about that. someone needs to straighten that kid out. yesterday football history was made as lauren silberman was the first woman ever to try out for the nfl. he showed up at a combine for the jets and tried out as a kicker. there she is kicking the football. and -- she did not make the nfl. what a great movie that would make, though.

would have to opt for that one myself. a new season of donald trump's aural celebrity apprentice started last night. it includes steven baldwin, and other all-star celebrities in the way that i can't believe it's not butter is butter. they have latoya jackson, traced a atkins. bret michaels and dennis rodman, our new ambassador to north korea, dennis who is back home safely after visiting the north korean dictator kim jong un. and apparently they hit it off. rodman called him a friend for life. but he said the same thing when he married carmen electra. and he said that kim jong un said he wants president obama to

call him. a lot of people are criticizing rodman for getting friendly with a guy who said he wants to destroy the united states. i think we should crazy new dennis rodman to the washington monument and dare them to bomb us. rodman gave an interview to george stephanopoulos yesterday. some people had a hard time unctioning what he was saying. but i speak fluent rodman so we will break it down for you. >> one thing about that, i understand what he's doing. i don't condone that. i hate the fact he is doing that. but the fact of that, you know what, that's a human being. he let his guard done and did one thing to me as a friend. i didn't talk about that. i understand that. i understand that. >> i can't explain the jacket but i will try to explain what he said. come we many over. there he said -- he said one thing about that you know what i didn't look at that all that right there.

i understand what he's doing. i don't condone that i hate the fact that he's doing that but the fact is that, you know what, that's a human being, so. he let his guards down. he did one day to me been a friend. i don't talk about that. i understand now. i understand that. [ cheers and applause ] let's see another. >> he does one thing. he loves. he loves power. he luvs control because of the -- you know, dad and stuff like that. but he's a great guy. he's a great guy. if you sit down and talk to him. it's deceiving -- >> he puts 200,000 people in prison camps. >> guess what, it's amazing how we do the same thing here. >> we have prison camps in the united states? >> this is all politics right?

one thing, he don't want to do that. he doesn't want to do that. but you know, what, dude, it's more like -- i'm not like, a diplomat. i don't want to do that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm going to come back to this because i don't really -- i don't know where to start with that. but anyway. you get the idea. he makes sense. by the way, donald trump, this could not have come at a better time with him with celebrity apprentice starting it's great publicity. and donald weighed in on dennis rodman. >> is dennis rodman the ambassador to finding a solution in north korea. >> it's probably better than what we have. the world is blowing up around us. maybe dennis is better than what we have. this year on the apprentice it's

amazing how sharp and smart. tennis is not a stupid guy. >> i agree. dennis is not a stupid guy. let's go back to the chalk board here for one more quote. go ahead. >> i want to apologize for him. i think the fact that he's a good guy to me. he's my friend. guess what, i don't condone as what he does but as far as person to person he's my friend. as far as what he does, deal with it. >> jimmy: okay. so he's not apologizing for him but the fact is that you know he's a good guy to me guess what, he's my friend. guess what i don't condone what he does -- but, as far as a person to person he's my friend. but as far as what he does then he deal with. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: in other words the important thing is he's nice to dennis. and rodman says guess what a lot. he says it so much it inspired us to create a new game. i will show you a clip from rodman's interview. every time he says guess what we're all going to yell what, let's give it a shot. >> what did he tell you about america and what did you learn about him? >> guess what? >> what. >> the one thing i said to him. you see the clips of whatever he loves basketball. >> you want to try again? all right. >> someone who hypothetically is a murder who is still your friend is still a murderer. >> i think that's guess what? >> what!

>> guess what? >> what! >> what i did, what i did was history. >> jimmy: it's fun, right? >> one more. >> next time you go back you should bring this report from human rights watch and you might learn more and press him as well. thank you for coming up. >> either way, guess what though? >> what? >> guess what? >> what! >> thank you for the report. >> guess what guess what. >> what? >> don't hate me. >> jimmy: we could never hate you, dennis. nicely done. good participation. we have to take a break. when we come back we have a new segment called the confusing question of the day plus sean "diddy" combs is here.

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>> jimmy: we're back. sean combs, ben hoffman and sean rowe are standing by. i have batman news. not the comic book batman but the real batman. in the town of radford a burglar was brought into a police station dressed like this. the suspect was arrested and charged with handling stolen goods. batman dragged him in and in

very batman like style disappeared without leaving his real name. is it more embarrassing to be the guy dressed in the batman costume or being the guy sub dued by the guy in the batman costume? the latter, right? this is embarrassing. our friend larry king was on "good day l.a." this morning. this is a local show here in los angeles promoting his internet show. i love larry. he is fun to talk to. when you are 79 there are hazards that come with appearing on live television and listen very closely here to see if you can detect one of those hazards. >> this thing with the sequestration, you have been through everything especially when your show was from washington. comment on that. >> i'm sorry about that.

>> if i said it once i've said it a hundred times the suspenders are too tight. let's hear that one more time. >> comment on that. >> jimmy: probably a new pair of shoes or stepped on a hamster or something. i'm sure those of you who read are familiar with what congress is calling the sequester. have you heard about this? most of you are lying. but that's okay. basically to force congress to work together on the budget president obama introduced 85 -- i think -- billion dollars in spending cuts. all congress had to do to avoid the cuts was reach a compromise. they didn't and we have a mess on our hands. i have heard a lot of people talking about the sequester but i wonder if anyone knows what they are talking about. we are introducing the confusing

question of the day. this is a confusing question we asked during the day. so we went out on the hollywood boulevard today and asked pedestrians what they thought about obama pardoning the sequester and sending it to portugal. what do you think about president obama pardoning the sequester and sending it to portugal. let's see what the people said. >> this what do you think about president obama's decision to pardon the sequester and send it to portugal? >> i think it's a good idea. obama makes very good decisions. >> what do you think about the decision to pardon the sequester and send it to portugal? >> i'm so grateful. portugal should be protected at all costs. they have a constitutional right and it should be protected. and that's what our president's for. >> was it upsetting in light of

the fact he did it last year and there was such out rage? >> i have no idea about the timing of this event and just -- apals me that it's got to go to portugal and not stay here. >> there are six sequesters in portugals do you think they need another one? >> absolutely not. him just piling on another one is not a great idea. >> what do you think about the fact that north korea is developing its own sequester. >> that's very scary. >> did you hear that south korea is developing a sequester? >> i don't know what that is. so sure let them do it. >> my parents were killed by a sequester. >> okay. i'm sorry. so it's like a terrorist so they are building a robot terrorist? no. that's not good. yeah. >> what do you think about

obama's decision to pardon the sequester and send it to portugal? >> sequester what? i don't know. i just voted for him because he's black. i don't know nothing about a sequester. [ cheers and applause ] >> finally some honesty. glad we could clear that up. >> jimmy: tonight on the show from "the ben show" on comedy central ben hoffman is here. we have music from sean rau, and we'll be right back with another sean, aka "diddy" combs, so stick around. ♪ ♪

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. >> jimmy: hi there. tonigh tonight on the program, the star of comedy central's funny new show "the ben show" with ben hoffman, ben hoffman is here with us. music "the salesman and the shark" making his television debut. you can see him live at the tuba doer. zach braff will be here, lauren cohan gill join us. we're shutting hollywood boulevard down for a special concert, rarely do we do this, the foo fighters combine forces with rick springfield and john fogerty. it will be weird and wonderful.

i suspect. kobe bryant, jessica simpson, dominic monaghan, music from luke brian and rival sons. our first guest tonight is a man of many names and many professions. he is a producer, rapper, actor, designer fragrancemaker, vodka distiller, he's got his own water too. water is very popular. please say hello to sean "diddy" combs! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> yeah! woo! >> jimmy: i'm not -- >> woo!

>> jimmy: i'm not a particularly comfortable person in general but when you are standing there dancing and i feel that i should be dancing also and then we are dancing together. which i don't think you would like. >> no, no, no, you should definitely dance. >> jimmy: i should dance when you come out? >> definitely. we woke up today. we have our health. and i just want to say that you look way better than the last time i was here. you know. i get that all the time. you look way better in person. but you really look way better in person. you're a handsome young man. >> jimmy: thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> we're going to pause that and everybody knows what i'm talking about. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, well, thank you, that's very kind of you to say. where do you live now? the last time you were here you were looking for a house. did you move here? >> i'm officially bi-coastal but i will never say i'm -- i'm from

new york and will always be from new york. as a matter of fact, i got a tattoo in honor of new york. can you zoom in on that? which way? >> jimmy: yes, of new york. yes. it's the "new york magazine" logo. >> no, no, no. i wrote that out myself. >> jimmy: you got that recently? >> i got that recently. norks no, but i have moved. my son goes to ucla and my kids go here now. i have six kids. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. clap for my six kids. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what is the age range? >> i would like for you to clap for me. i pay all their tuitions. yes, i do. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: your oldest son is in college. >> my oldest son works for my network revolt, is an aspiring singer. my son below him, justin, he's at ucla, registered, so

hopefully this year he'll hit the field. i have a son, christian, who's 14. then i have three girls that are 6. long story. >> jimmy: you tweeted that you went to a father/daughter dance with your girl. >> yes, definitely. my first father -- yes. >> jimmy: with your twins. >> yes. >> jimmy: i've been to those. those are odd. they're fun but -- >> they're fun and they will wear you out. and it makes you go home and -- give your wife the mother of your children like a hug and kiss and money and a car or something. like i'm talking about looking at the clock and it's like -- it starts at 6:00 and i'm looking at the clock and it's 7:00 and i'm worn out and i'm like i don't know how i'm going to make it to 9:00 and they're dancing like me times a hundred. you thought i was dancing fast. little girls are just screaming

and jumping on your back. and it's just so intense. and, you know -- i -- it's been a part of my evolution. i have my teary eyed moment and then i'm like i can't start crying at the dance. i don't want to embarrass my daughters. but i'm going through something right now that no money and no success or no accolades that i've gotten could ever measure up to, being able to enjoy like the beauty of my kids and especially my daughters. >> jimmy: and yet you're looking at the clock. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're enjoying it with one eye on the clock praying it was over. >> i didn't say it was easy. >> jimmy: it's hard to enjoy yourself. i wish i was one of your kids. i do. >> the only thing i'm going to say -- you can be. >> jimmy: i really wish i could. would you consider adopting me. >> without a doubt. you have a good thing going

here. >> jimmy: how does it work? >> i get a percentage of your check. >> jimmy: of course, of course. always bring the check home to dad. >> one thing i want to say is it's harder to watch twins and they are identical. >> jimmy: they're double. >> and they don't stick together. they go the opposite way. so i'm like running around -- >> jimmy: i told you to have conjoined twins and you didn't listen to me. so -- you got the kids running around like crazy when you are one of diddy's kiddies do you call them that? think about it. a new reality show, sounds like. do you have to share rooms or do you get your own room? >> no, no, the twins stay together in a room and we basically -- we live a regular life as far as that is concerned. >> jimmy: the kids don't have their own servants or anything like that? >> no, no, i mean, i haven't got to that point yet. i mean, you know. i mean --

>> jimmy: the kids have to make their bed and clean their room? >> they have to make their bed and clean their room and have responsibility. >> jimmy: they do? [ cheers and applause ] and if they do that do they get an allowance? do you give them like $2 at the end of the week hour a necklace? >> no. absolutely not. no, no. to be honest, i've worked very hard for my kids to have a great life and i make no apologizes for being able to provide them with experiences that i've worked hard for them to experience. for me, to be honest, i've just started to grow up. it's been a little late when you grow up in entertainment. i'm just being honest, know what i'm saying? you grow up in entertainment, you're not working on a schedule, you're not following any rules. once you have kids, once -- for me it was having girls. the boys could fall downstairs

and everything was going to be all right. but the girls it's a different line of questioning and focus and it really just makes you just face reality. so it's just been great for me. and i've been growing up. >> jimmy: you are less diddy, more daddy now, i think. >> yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we'll take a break. sean "diddy" combs is here. we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] get email that lets you share, organize and stay up-to-date like never before.

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>> jimmy: this is an exciting time for you because you've got a new -- you somehow manage through your brilliance to sell people water, something that we get for free and do not have to pay for if we do not want to. >> i love tap water. if you want tap water you can get that. but if you want supercharged water with electrolytes and higher ph balance to lower the acidity in your body you have to try my water and mark wahlberg's new water aqua hydrate. it's the newest sensation on the market. it just tastes great. i come up with these brilliant

ideas and i'm like what can we not live without? so i -- i made music. we couldn't live without music. i tried to do the air thing. >> jimmy: you weren't able to sell air. i think you could figure that out. little baggies of air. >> i saw the flavored water and tried to get -- i have been trying to get into this no-shirt sean concept. >> jimmy: what is that? >> by june i will have a no shirt policy in my house. >> jimmy: like justin bieber. are your pants going to be falling off? >> absolutely. i will be sitting on the couch with no shirt on. yeah, yes, definitely. and you can't do that with things that are loaded in sugar. only thing you can drink with

sugar is ciraq. >> jimmy: you can get people hungover and rehydrated with your aqua hydrate water. get people to water their lawns with it. >> i saw mark at a boxing match and he had this bottle of water. as a matter of fact we have some here. i need someone to bring it out. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. [ cheers and applause ]

>> i hope i didn't have anything to do with this. >> jimmy: thank you, fellas. mark wahlberg is here with his water. what a coincidence. aqua hydrate is available now. diddy and mark wahlberg. we'll be right back with ben hoffman. ♪

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>> jimmy: still to come, music from sean rau. our next guest is a very funny man with a very funny new show. "the ben show with ben hoffman" airs thursdays at 10 on comedy central, you should watch it. please welcome, ben hoffman. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i was hoping we would have another product on the show. >> i didn't want to share. i don't know if you know donnie

wahlberg and i had the idea of the two "h"s and i had the "o" and we put them together. >> jimmy: i like it how it is. i don't think you need labeling at all. can i have this? >> sure. >> jimmy: thank you very much. by the way i got a copy of your show before it aired on comedy central and i was very excited. normally things people give me are terrible but it is great. >> jimmy has been kind about the show and telling everybody in town and tweeting about it. e-mailing people. >> jimmy: i did tweet about it. >> guess what? >> what! >> it didn't help. >> jimmy: it didn't help? >> no. >> jimmy: no. >> those swamp people are killing us. i'm from kentucky, shout out to big blue nation out there. where i'm from if you want to see people in a swamp you go to the swamp. but i'm getting my ass kicked in

ratings by watching people hang out with the swamp. i should have just hung out by a swamp. >> jimmy: the swamp people are popular. maybe you could incorporate the swamp in your presentation. >> yeah, season 2. maybe. >> jimmy: are people recognizing you now. you have a billboard on sunset boulevard here. >> the answer to your question is no. i gave instructions to comedy central. i said i got two chins. take one of them out and they didn't listen to me. >> jimmy: they never listen do they? >> the morning after the show i went to the mall and grocery shopping, not one. not one person recognized me. >> jimmy: you went to the wrong places. if you went to the swamp they would go nuts. you did something very funny. a few months ago or six months ago where george clooney was

hosting a fundraiser at his house for president obama. >> when i see new technology i like to find out how to use it to annoy people. when twitter came out i thought i could use it all the time. george clooney hosted a fundraiser for barack obama. the a-list of the a-list was there. were you there? >> jimmy: no. >> none of the press could get in. i pretended like i was there at the event and a lot of news organizations picked up i was there and i said controversial things pretending -- >> jimmy: like what? >> obama getting up now about to speak, points at george clooney and says george has more pull than john travolta at a massage parlor and i tweet i find that rude but he's the president.

it's not for me to say. my inbox is filled you wouldn't believe what the president said tonight. i saw a few news organizations pick it up. these people are idiots. in general people are idiots. so at the end of the thing i pretended i was there and hanging out with billy gibbons from zz top and he got too drunk and wanted a ride home. does anyone here live near bel-air? and i said colin farrell is giving him a ride. i found the first picture of billy i could find on google. everybody is wondering why i'm hanging out with billy gibbons and they had to retract all their stories. >> jimmy: you caused trouble. >> i have been causing a lot of trouble. >> jimmy: when people get upset

and write nasty things online do you pay attention to that or ignore it or care about it at all? >> well, the short answer is yes. >> jimmy: you do? >> yes. all i care about really in life is reading about myself. so i'm just watching the tweets and the youtube comments and facebook comments as they come in. and you -- there is a lot of positive stuff. listen i believe that "the ben show" is the funniest show ever made. but a lot of people disagree with me on this. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yes but it's it's not for me to say. it's for america. it's in their hands now. i wish i didn't put my father and therapist and such in the show. >> jimmy: they are on the show. >> it's a sketch show. i have my dad or my therapist. i had a girl who i went out with a couple times she explains why she wouldn't make out with me.

she said i was unattractive and had a bad personality. so i think if i can knock those two things out i could be a lady killer. but it was nice of her to come on the show and be honest with me. >> jimmy: you have done something special for us tonight. >> we were talking about all my tweets and facebook comments and youtube and i was going to read my favorite comments but i thought instead of reading to you i'm a barbershop quartet fan to sing my favorite comments from the show and i brought them along here. >> jimmy: we have them here. here we go. "the ben show" quartet. ♪ was "the ben show" supposed to be fun? because i i'm just sad now ♪

♪ that was terrible you belong on cspan your show sucks that one ♪ ♪ crawl back oldman quickly i can't believe those idiots gave him a show his comedy isn't even funny ♪ ♪ someone should punch you in the face i hope you get struck by lightning ♪ ♪ "the ben show" is terrible i was once a tree. >> i like that one. i don't get it. ♪ ben is annoying as [ bleep ] this episode sucks [ bleep ] "the ben show" [ bleep ] stupid

i'm so lonely please retweet me ♪ ♪ everybody i'm so lonely please retweet me ♪ >> jimmy: "the ben show" thursdays at 10:00 on comedy central. when we come back, music from sean rowe. the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by sony. next on "nightline," dennis rodman from nba bad boy to madonna to north korea. what did they talk

the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by sony. >> jimmy: his latest album is called "the salesman and the shark." here with the song "downwind" sean rowe! ♪ ♪ jon, i can't go back to the hole again i'm gonna keep my bag i'm gonna keep my sins ♪ ♪ i'm staying downwind

i'm staying downwind i can hear the dogs i can hear the chains ♪ ♪ and the blood gang thumping i can feel their veins i'm staying downwind ♪ ♪ i'm staying downwind i'm staying downwind ♪ jon, i can't go back to that box again ♪ ♪ there's was a big black soul and it took me in i'm staying downwind i'm staying downwind ♪ ♪ i'm staying downwind someday, i'm gonna show you how it all went down

someday, i'm gonna show ♪ how it all went down ♪ if you ever find the needle or that letter oh, oh ♪ ♪ that's a good one to know oh, oh that's a good one to know ♪ i wanna die in the sun ♪ ♪ not in a frying pan and if it is war i will go down like a man i'm staying downwind ♪ ♪ i'm staying downwind i'm staying downwind i can hear the dogs i can hear the chains ♪ ♪ and the blood gang pumping

i can feel their veins i'm staying downwind i'm staying downwind i'm staying downwind ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "the salesman and the shark" is out now . >> jimmy: i want to thank sean "diddy" combs, ben hoffman. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. tomorrow night zach braff, lauren cohan and sound city players. thank you for watching. "nightline" is next. good night.