tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC March 26, 2013 11:35pm-12:35am PDT
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didn't already go against the sanctity of marriage. i rarely make good decisions when i'm wearing a robe. it was elimination on "dancing with the stars" tonight. the first of the season. i say why get rid of anybody? it seems like they're all having a ball. you know, if abc really wanted to do some cross promotion, they would take the eliminated dancer right from "dancing with the stars" to the set of "splash" and throw them off the high dive. right? if you're not familiar with the show "splash" celebrities like louie andersson, and our guest tonight kareem abdul-jabbar compete against each other diving. we tried to give you good shows
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but you continue to watch barely famous people dancing. kareem broke a toe and louie andersson bruised his ribs, but rest assured, he told access hollywood live that he will bravely soldier on. >> you might not be able to continue with the competition. >> i don't want to say too much, but we're all here to discus that fact. >> yeah. >> i don't want to die doing this. >> what would it mean if you had to drop out? >> it would crush me. >> you worked so hard to be here already. >> yeah. it would be real devastating. >> because you want it really b badly, right? >> i'm in it to win it. >> really? that can't possibly be true. stevie wonder has a better chance of winning a driving competition than louie anderson does at winning a diving competition. but you know what, positive, he's optimistic.
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i like that. he sees the pool as half full instead of suddenly half empty. while we're on the subject of questionable ideas, there's a report today that says mattel is working with a production company to develop a tv show based on the card game uno. the idea, i guess, is to take a game that children are just barely interested in and turn it into a show for adults. uno is a terrible game, right? the game show will match colors and numbers for a chance to win up to $1 million. that's great. they also have a go fish in development where if you lose, you actually have to go fish. who knows, maybe the show will be successful. uno is very, very popular all around the world. in mexico, they call it "one." it's true. is that right? is that right? this is funny. on sunday, an anchorman from the
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local fox affiliate had a nice story about a local teacher teaching his students to make instruments. then but he had an unfortunate slip of the tongue. >> a jackson county teacher takes something from the wild and turns something into wonderful. they learn to play the north american skin -- i mean the flute. >> they say the north american was is the best one. obama appointed the first female director of the secret service. every new franchise starts off with a losing record. it's very -- but this marks the first time a woman has been in charge in almost 150 years in
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existence. so in other words, sorry colombian prostitutes. bring us the tab, we're going to have to close out our account. prince middleton and his wi-- p william and his wife kate middleton are about to have a baby. a british website teamed up with the brode institute of harvard m.i.t. to create approximations of what they believe william and kate's child might look like. they say if they have a girl, this is what she will look like. she looks very old for a baby. leah michelle from "glee." if they have a boy, they determine he will look like this. he's the future king of england or a murderer. i'm not sure. and they're planning to give birth to a j. crew mannequin. even if it has no basis in reality, it's fun to see what it might look like if you have a
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baby with someone. in fact, today we got a picture of me and one of guillermo and let's see what it would look like if we had a baby together. not a bad looking kid. although i feel like there's something missing and i can't quite put my finger -- yes. that's it. what do you say? we have a beautiful daughter. why not procreate. >> let's do it. >> do you know what procreate means? >> to create? >> jimmy: close enough. there's so much focus at easter on the candy and the eggs and some forget what it's really about. we thought this would be a good time to send my cousin micky out to talk to children about the true meaning of easter. my cousin mickey spent 12 years in catholic school. she's very rrjs and hopefully she can shed light on what for christians is the holiest day of
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the year. >> tell me the story about easter, please. >> easter? >> yeah. what's easter to you. >> it's about eggs. >> that's all? >> yeah. >> there's eggs and chok the las a -- chocolates and bunnies. >> why do we celebrate easter? >> eggs. >> tell me about the story of the first easter. >> one? >> yeah. one story is good. >> two? >> do you know two? share them all. >> one, two, three, four, five. >> the meaning of easter is more about jesus than the easter bunny. but the easter bunny is a good friend. he represents jesus well. jesus can't be here, so jesus comes here and he legs eggs. everybody needs a best friend. and the easter bunny is jesus'
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best friend. does jesus like candy? >> he likess deta. >> he likes what? placenta? >> jesus likes milk. >> yeah. >> interesting. what's good friday. >> saturday? >> oh, on good friday you starve but you don't have to but you're supposed to. you're especially not supposed to eat meat. >> you're supposed to eat meat. >> no, you're not supposed to eat meat. >> on fridays? >> not every friday. just this particular friday, good friday, because especially meat because it was, like, the body of christ. like the body, it would be like -- you're like, kind of torching jesus while he's on the kries dying. you're eating a filet mignon,
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it's not polite. >> do you know how old jesus was when he died? >> not quite sure, no. >> he was young. too young to die. why do you think we celebrate easter? >> cuz god rose from the dead on easter day. >> jesus rose from the dead but god was part of it. in a way god rose from the dead. they come out of the ground. but we can't compare jesus and god to zombies. but just to relate. you're wearing sandals. that's what jesus wore. he wore sandals. so you walk in those sandals and act jesusly, okay? so now that i shared that all with you, tell me your feelings about easter, what you think from that? >> i just want to eat the eggs.
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>> jimmy: my cousin micki, everyone. very jesusly. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and she's not kidding. not at all. we need to go away. when we come back, we're going to talk to a young man named austin who was arrested for yelling "bingo" in a crowded bingo hall plus jeremy piven, kareem abdul-jabbar, and music from kid cudi. so stay with us. [ mom ] with my little girl, every food is finger food.
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. >> jimmy: jeremy pive, kareem abdul-jabbar are stretching behind stage together right now. austin was walking by a bingo hall. his friends dared him to run into the bingo hall and yell bingo. my grandmother would give me a hard elbow to the side when i did this. austin, however, was not as lucky as me. >> it began at the pike street bingo hall when elderly women who play the game, he ran in and hollered bingo. >> richard webster sprang into action. this is the citation. it reads in part, the violator caused alarm to patrons. now word has hit the streets outside the bingo hall. >> that's insane. that's just hilarious. . >> here now live via skype, austin whaley. hello, austin.
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very dangerous criminal, as you can see. >> walk us through events of that night, austin. >> well, basically, me and my friends were walking around town. it was mardi gras that night. on the way back, we stopped by the wing goe hall and my friends say bet you won't go in there and yell bingo. i'm like watch me. you know? so i go in there even i yelled bingo in the doorway, and as soon as the -- the moderator looked at me. i got out of there as fast as i could. >> what was your reaction inside the bingo hall when you yelled bingo. >> i didn't stay long enough to see all the reactions. i just -- the moderator looked at me, kind of gave me the death star stare. >> did the police come right away? >> there was a policeman across the street for bingo night.
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>> jimmy: did he cuff you? >> yeah. he stopped, he put his happened on my chest and i'm like what? and he handcuffed me and starts taking me back to the cruiser. and i'm like why are you arresting me? i was just shocked that he was -- >> jimmy: why did he say he was arresting you? >> i don't know. i couldn't really remember. i was in shock that i was getting arrested for yelling bingo in a bingo hall. i didn't think it was that -- >> jimmy: did he give you an opportunity to apologize or anything like that? >> he never really said if you apologize i'll let you go. he just kind of was like -- he was kind of insulting me sort of the whole time. that's why i refused to apologize. he was being really crude for no reason. >> jimmy: well, maybe not no reason. but your mom is there with you now. let's get your mom's reaction to this.
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did you punish austin when you heard about this. >> well, to be honest, jimmy, i didn't hear about it until the channel -- the local news came over to my home. >> jimmy: oh, is that right? i happened to be sleeping. he came into my room and said oh, by the way, i was walking by a bingo hall and i ran inside and yelled bingo and i have to go to court and a local news team is in our living room pep they want to do a story. >> jimmy: how did the local news team find out about this incident? >> going through the courts, they just heard the court proceedings for the week. >> jimmy: are you concerned at all that this will be a gateway for him screwing with keno games, et cetera? now austin, you're legally prohibited from saying the word bingo for six months, for real, right? >> yeah, pretty much. i can't really go to a bingo hall and do it again. >> jimmy: what would happen if you do do it?
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>> i'll probably go to jail or have to pay a fine. >> jimmy: a fine and jail time. and are you finding not being able to say bingo difficult? >> with the help of my family and friends, i've been able to get through. >> jimmy: it's great to have a support group like that. will you turn your son in if you catch him saying bingo around the house. >> no. what kind of parent would i be if i didn't do the right thing for my son. >> jimmy: it will be smart to get an expert's opinion on this. joining us now is the bingo director at the chumas bingo casino in santa inez here. belinda, how long have you been in the bingo industry? >> in may, i'll be here for 19 years. >> jimmy: wow. and you must have seen a lot of boring stuff over that last 19 years. >> pretty interesting. >> jimmy: what do you think about what austin did here?
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>> austin. bingo players take bingo very serious. >> jimmy: yes, they do. >> and we're playing for high stakes. so if you yell bingo and if you don't b have it and somebody actually has it and they miss it, they miss out on $1,000 or more. >> jimmy: how would you handle a situation like this? would you break his knees and dump him in the desert? >> i don't think i would go that far but -- >> jimmy: austin, maybe if you got very interested in bingo, suddenly you would understand what a terrible, terrible thing you did. i hear you have a job interview at the end of the week, is that true? >> yeah, that's true. at radio shack. >> jimmy: at radio shack? will you mention this criminal past that you have? >> i'll just try to be honest. >> jimmy: all right. well, thank you. i'm glad we were able to -- he didn't really do anything. but i'm glad we're able to do
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whatever it is that we did. good luck to you at radio shack. we have a good show for you tonight. kareem abdul-jabbar is here. we'll be right back with jeremy piven. in basketball, it is better to be a fast player or a slow player? [ all ] fast! so what would your nickname be? mmmhmm. it would be fast-y because you're really fast when you go. what about you? nicky flash? why nicky? because it rhymes with flash. close... yeah. close. [ male announcer ] it's not complicated. faster is better. and at&t is the nation's fastest 4g lte network for your iphone 5. ♪
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>> jimmy: tonight on the program, the nba's all-time leading scorer and abc's all-time tallest diver from "splash," kareem abdul-jabbar is here. and then with music from this album, called "indicud" it comes out april 23rd, kid cudi from the sony outdoor stage. tomorrow night, bruce willis will be here. from dancing with the stars, zendaya will be with us, and we'll have music from divine fits. and on thursday, dwayne johnson from the movie "the host," sersha ronen, and music from kendrick lamar. >> jimmy: our first guest is a three-time emmy-winning actor who trades eight seasons of premium cable sex, drugs and
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filth for the pristine waters of public broadcasting. the eight part series "mr. selfridge" premieres on pbs masterpiece classic sunday night at 9, please welcome jeremy piven. >> sitting with kareem backstage. i know you're a very big lakers fan. did you know him before? >> i'm a huge fan. and i just -- anytime a man is a biscuit over 7 feet tall, i want to stand next to him so i look like i live in a tree and bake cook cookies. he's such a big man. >> jimmy: he's huge. it makes you feel like a little boy. it's ridiculous. >> he put me on his knee. yeah. >> jimmy: that's very sweet. you tweeted or retweeted video of -- let's show you this video. now there's kobe bryant and you. that was a high five. look at it again. it was kind of a high five. but it looked more like you were defending yourself. what happened there? how did you get involved in that?
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you're not on the team. >> i am not on the team. and kobe is very focused, as you know. and i think it surprised a lot of people. but there were a few times in the game we would lock eyes. i'm just -- no, not in a -- easy. >> jimmy: not in a romantic way. >> no, it wasn't a bromance in in the third quarter. he's got this i got this, man, look. >> jimmy: i got it. i got it. from here, i'm going to take care of this. >> because he really doesn't do that, i think that slip has been shown more than any other piece of work i've ever done in my life. >> jimmy: and you're probably more excited about that than anything, right? >> it's clearly my best work. you saw that. >> jimmy: it looked so natural and very realistic. you were in england shooting -- boy, pbs is really, like -- it's unbelievable they're doing all these quality shows.
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>> i just got really lucky. it's masterpiece, and it's a period piece. it's a series where i play mr. self-ridge who actually really lived. >> it's the greatest store i've ever been in. >> it's a store for dummies. you can go in there -- >> jimmy: that's why i like it. . >> they show you what to do. it's voted the best store in the world. >> jimmy: it's in london. >> he wept in 1909 and just invented the department store, basically. and he was quite a colorful character. we shot the first series, 10 episodes. >> jimmy: were you there long enough that you started to pick up a lit bit of an english accent. i do have friends who go over there and they come back and start saying herbs and stuff like is that. >> because i was playing an american and also producing it.
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i was in the belly of the beast every day and you're shooting, i dependent have a lot of time to, like, go to the pub and get drunk until a million o'clock and then not sleep. no, i didn't come home and suddenly sound like madonna. why did i just say that? >> jimmy: because it was a perfect example. >> i didn't want to be the guy that says that. >> jimmy: somebody had to say it. i'm glad it was you. is there any way we can reedit that and you can say that? >> jimmy: the wrath of madonna is on our heads. i think we'll be okay. she's resting like a cub scout these days. what do you misabout the united states being over? i've never been out of this country for more than a week, i think. >> i missed american sports. i really tried to rally behind what they call football. we call soccer.
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it's a celebration of nothing apparently. because the score -- you watch for almost 11 years. that's how long the game takes. and then the score is 0-0 and i don't understand. i just don't get it. it's like a group of men who are probably the most unfit men watching the fittest men in the world. >> jimmy: that's very american right there. >> you're right, that's very american. they're watching david beckham. >> jimmy: i feel the same way. i feel like it's me that's ignorant because clearly there's such intense love for this sport that you understand for football and baseball and basketball and these sports here, but it just seems terribly boring to me. >> it's a brilliant game and we don't get it. i think that's the variable. >> jimmy: let's go with that. >> let's go with that. >> jimmy: madonna gets it, though. >> we have to move on.
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>> good morning, everyone. don't you all look fine and dandy. first of all, congratulations. you are in at the beginning of something amazing. the other business houses of london may have started from lowly beginnings, but with your help, selfridges will be born great. here is why i'm giving you the opportunity of a lifetime. 12 months to scour the world for the finest merchandise. we are going to show the world how to make shopping thrilling. >> jimmy: jeremy piven, everyone. the pbs masterpiece classic. and it premiers on sunday. it's a huge hit already in england, huh? you got picked up for a second season? >> yeah. picked up for a second season. i'm thrilled and kind of blown away. didn't really see it coming, to be honest with you. no one does a period drama
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better than the brits. and i kind of figured we're going to go do it and they're going to tear us apart. but they celebrated it and they're going to give it another season. >> jimmy: an american coming to england and starting a store like that and to be accepted by people. >> it was art imitating life. >> jimmy: were you welcomed by the royal family? >> yes, they celebrate me. there's a motorcade. >> jimmy: long trumpets? >> everything. red carpets everywhere for me. >> jimmy: have you met any of them? >> i met harry, prince harry and william. they were -- >> jimmy: i bet you have. really? are you the one that got them in trouble? >> no, i'm not that guy. i am not that guy. but i was at a polo match. >> jimmy: really? >> i swear to you. and they're actually amazing polo players. they said everyone let's go meet the royals. some other people were going to
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line up. suddenly they bring me on to the field and i'm one of a few people for some reason and we're shaking hands and they're talking to me and they're both incredibly, like, present and cool and self-deprecating. and prince harry keeps calling me ari. and it was -- it was both awkward and thrilling. you know? because i didn't know -- i mean, do you correct him? >> i don't know. you may get beheaded for something like that. >> literally, can you be beheaded. >> jimmy: does he think "entourage" was real? >> i think he thinks it was a documentary. yeah. >> jimmy: hey, i know you're a drummer. do you want to sit in with the band a little bit? >> i would love to. >> jimmy: jeremy piven his show is "mr. selfridge."
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>> hi. i'm jimmy kimmel. guillermo had a chance to practice with kevin durant. >> i'm kevin durant. i've learned to compete at the highest level. i need to do more on and off the court. but it's tough to stay in top shape when i'm on the road. >> i hear it's tough for you to stay in top shape when you're on the road. i'm here to help you train. i got some deodorant to put on
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you. >> i got degree. motion sense technology. pretty amazing. >> mine is better. i made it myself. >> want to put it to the test? >> yes, sir. >> all right, let's go. >> you all right? i smell good, guillermo. how 'bout you? >> guillermo: i smell bad. your degree is way better than my deodorant. >> here, try degree. >> guillermo: this degrees smells great. >> we got 40 more minutes. >> guillermo: 40 more minutes? wow. you are an athletic. >> you are too. >> guillermo: oh yeah? >> like a sumo wrestler. >> guillermo: a sumo wrestler? thank you degree. >> dicky: degree men, the more you move the more it protects. find degree on youtube to find out how you can do more. i work hard on my game. ant ] i wanna dominate on both ends of the floor.
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>> jimmy: our next guest is one of the greatest basketball players of all time with three ncaa and six nba titles. but now, he faces the greatest challenge of all reality television watch him on "splash" tuesday nights at 8:00 here on abc. please say hello to kareem abdul-jabbar. ♪ >> jimmy: that dive looked like it hurt. did it hurt? >> no it didn't. that one didn't ail me. >> jimmy: how do you break a toe diving, by the way. >> i didn't break my toe diving. i broke my toe getting out of the pool. >> jimmy: that makes sense.
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>> actual lit does. i'm climbing out of the pool and jam my pool into the ladder at the wrong place and crack. >> why are you diving? do you have gambling debts? why not just dapt dannce with t stars. >> there were no dancers tall enough to dance. it's like i was dancing with my niece or somebody like that. >> jimmy: yeah, that's a real -- disadvantage in diving, too. i think you should -- they should give you another foot and a half or something. because some of these people are tiny. and you don't have as much distance to complete these loops. >> exactly. diving is a short person's game. you know, anybody that can turn, you know, imagine a gymnast, they make perfect divers. >> jimmy: do you think you might win this competition? >> no, i have no chance of winning. basically, what i'm doing it for is just to show everybody that at my age, you can live a healthy lifestyle and learn new
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things, you know, and just be healthy. >> jimmy: in your college career, how many games did you lose in your college career? >> two. >> jimmy: two games. and you won, like what? >> 88. >> jimmy: 88 games. and lost two. do you remember those two vividly? >> actually, i do. very much so. we lost to the university of houston. and then -- i don't know which one was worse. we lost to houston and, you know, that was incredible. and then we lost to s.c. which is really still a stain on my career. >> sure. >> but the loss to houston was significant because we were rated number one at that point. and when we lost, everyone jumped off the ucla bandwagon. i took the cover from "sports illustrated" and pasted it in my locker. showed elden hayes shooting a
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jump shot over me. >> jimmy: and next time? >> we beat them by 32 points. >> jimmy: you will not do the same with louie anderson, right? work up some kind of vitriol. >> and louie did such a great job showing that people with weight issues can swim and dive and be healthy. >> jimmy: i was a big lakers fan, i still am growing up. you always seem so serious. magic always seemed so happy. was that the case? >> no, it wasn't the case, but it appeared like that, just because i had so much more experience. and i knew about all the bad stuff that was coming up. so that kind of put me in that role. you know? we won the game, he was so happy. it was like he won the championship again. >> jimmy: he was jumping on you,
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right? >> i get in the locker room and i said ervin, we have 81 more games. it's that voice of reality, you know? >> jimmy: this is weird. you wore goggles when you're playing. and now that you're diving, you don't wear goggles and everyone wears goggles. >> you can't. you'll knock yourself out. >> jimmy: maybe that's swimming. congratulations on this. i've seen this outside the staples center on a number of occasions. >> are you happy with the way it came out. these don't often look like the people. but this one is realry good. >> magic looks a lot like him. but the face on him looks like the cartoon from a newspaper. it looks like a caricature. it doesn't look exactly like
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him. the people who did mine did a great job. they captured my body language and it's realistic. >> you played at ucla, the greatest player in college basketball history. the first opening in 10 years. is that something you would be interested in doing, coaching the team? >> i certainly would be interested in coaching the team. it would be great to have an opportunity to restore the program to what it was. not in terms necessarily of winning and having the guys learn and get their degrees and play the game of basketball. putting out fine scholars. >> jimmy: you're not getting the job with talk like that. they don't want to hear about it.
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>> if they could restore that, it would be great. >> jimmy: i would love to see you over there. it would be a great thing. it would be full circumstance until a way. you could maybe even coach the diving team, who knows. >> they don't have a men's diving team. >> jimmy: even better. kareem abdul-jabbar on "splash" tuesday nights at 8:00 here on abc. when we come back, music from kid cudi.
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here with his new single "immortal," kid cudi. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i tried to tell all my friends when i was a kid that i had powers ♪ ♪ nobody wanted to believe me alright mm-mmm ♪ ♪ mm-mmm mm-mmm mm-mmm spent the last month ♪ ♪ feeling bad 'bout myself i couldn't speak anything of real hope and the day came when it ♪ ♪ hit me like lightning through my veins a sudden change in my groove in my walk ♪ ♪ mmmm
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i got my lion heart and electric flowing through my brain ♪ ♪ shocking waves make me feel i can float it's like the city is mine and the dark is my cave ♪ ♪ i can't explain this sudden peace in my walk i sure hope i am living my life ♪ ♪ as if i had powers and tonight i feel immortal i said tonight i feel immortal ♪ ♪ ohh tonight i feel immortal whoa ♪ ♪ mm-mmm mm-mmm mm-mmm bet you want ♪ ♪ to see me weak not sort of my thing you see i'm too damn cool
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my mojo too dope ♪ ♪ it's the same old thing getting lost day 'n' nite young and lost in the pain so many times ♪ ♪ i've broke this vicious cycle i got my lion heart and electric flowing ♪ ♪ through my brain shocking waves make me feel i can float surely imma do what i want ♪ ♪ ain't got no one to blame i can't explain this sudden peace in my walk i sure hope ♪ ♪ i'm living my life as if i had powers and tonight i feel immortal ♪ ♪ i said tonight i feel immortal ohh tonight ♪ ♪ i feel immortal yeah mm-mmm mm-mmm ♪ ♪ mm-mmm i'm living my life as if i had powers and tonight ♪ ♪ i feel immortal i said tonight i feel immortal ohh ♪ ♪ tonight i feel immortal yeah ahh ♪ ♪ mm-mmm >> jimmy: i want to thank jeremy piven, kareem abdul-jabbar.
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