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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  April 5, 2013 11:35pm-12:35am PDT

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the revenue service doesn't recognize her marriage, and the federal government -- whoa. >> are you all right? >> when umbrellas attack. you have to have umbrellas. it's raining men out there. the red equals sign is the logo of the human rights campaign. they made a special red one and asked people who support same-sex marriage to make it their profile picture. i think changing your profile picture to support something you believe in is the least you can do. it is literally the least you can do. you almost did nothing. but instead you did just slightly more than nothing. but it's nice to see someone posting something on facebook more than the sand witch they ate or their feet on vacation.
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can you tell if someone is for or against same-sex marriage just by looking at them? it's the topic of the pedestrian question. we wept on to hollywood boulevard today. we asked random people, are you for or against same sex marriage? the way this will work, we'll see someone, they will introduce themselves. and then we'll all try to guess whether they support same-sex marriage or oppose it. are you ready? >> i'm lauren and i'm from akron, ohio. are you for or against same-sex marriage. >> is lauren for or against? >> for. >> mari >> let's see what she says.
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>> jimmy: who's next? >> kip from indianapolis, indiana. >> are you for or against same-sex marriage? >> jimmy: is kip for or against? everyone says against. okay, all right. >> i would say i'm against same-sex marriage. i just grown up in a community where we kind of -- there's enough guys to go around for the girls and enough girls to go around with the guys. >> jimmy: all right. one way or looking at it, i guess. it's a supply and demand thing. >> i'm don from tacoma, washington. >> are you for or against same-sex marriage. >> jimmy: don? we say for. for same-sex marriage. >> personally, i would be against same-sex marriage. >> and if you had to, would you marry bradley cooper or leonardo dicaprio? >> neither. >> you have to pick one of them. >> okay. >> jimmy: which one will he
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pick? bradley cooper or leonardo dicaprio. let's find out. >> leonardo dicaprio. he's cute. he's a cute kid. >> jimmy: he's coming around. let's keep going. carmen from wisconsin. >> are you for or against same-sex marriage? >> jimmy: is carmen for or against? we have a pretty even split. >> for. i'm for same-sex marriage. >> what do you like about it? >> i have a lot of good friends who are in same-sex relationships and i think they deserve the same equal rights that we have. >> would you rather be married to scarlet johansson or megan fox? >> jimmy: i don't know how we can guess this, but let's find out.
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>> scarlet johansson. bigger boobs. >> kelly cook, oregon. >> are you for or against same-sex marriage? >> jimmy: for? most people say for. >> against. >> and let me ask you this, if you had to marry one of them, johnny depp or hugh jackmon. >> jimmy: looks like a johnny depp guy to you all right? >> i don't answer none of that [ bleep ] that's why they call this joint hollyweird. >> pretty sure he was talking to a guy. >> jerry from northern california. >> are you for or against same-sex marriage? >> for. >> jimmy: jerry, most people say for same-sex marriage. i don't know how we know that. but let's find out. >> for. >> and let me ask you, would you rather be married to paul walker
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or vin diesel? >> jimmy: paul walker or vin diesel? paul walker? >> i would have to say vin diesel. >> he's a fine looking man. in a manly sort of way. >> jimmy: all right. we're learning more about these people than i anticipated. all right, we have another one? >> my name is kathy and i'm from staten island, new york. >> kathy, are you for or against same-sex marriage? >> jimmy: wait a minute. what was that there? can we go back and see? there. just keep going back and forth and let's see if we can. wow. he's not from this planet, there's no way. all right.
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do we think kathy is for or against? >> for. >> i'm for. >> christina aguilera or britney spears? >> christina aguilera. she's a little more stable than britney spears. >> jimmy: all right. how many more do we have? two more? all right. >> my name is james hoffman from south central los angeles, california, i'm out here in hollywood. >> james, let me ask you, are you for or against same is-sex marriage? >> jimmy: all right. well, he's fashionable, we can say that. for or against? >> for. >> against. >> jimmy: about half and half on this one. >> i don't judge or whatever a person do. >> let me ask you this, if you were same-sex marriage, would you rather be same-sex marriage to justin bieber or rob kardashian?
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>> jimmy: that's a great choice. he's really thinking about it. all right, let's find out. >> rob kardashian. >> why is that? >> i don't know, because justin bieber is a kid. >> he's really not. >> just how it seemed. >> you don't think you can make it work? >> no. >> jimmy: all right, one more. >> my name is bill. i'm from philadelphia, p.a. >> are you for or against same-sex marriage? >> jimmy: is he for or against? again, we're pretty well split. let's see. >> i'm for. >> would you rather be married to sting or regis? >> jimmy: sting or regis? sting? that's unanimous. >> wow, that's two bad choices.
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probably regis. >> anything you want to say to regis? >> hi, regis. love you. and they've got my phone number if you want to give me a call. >> jimmy: you're never too old to try stuff. when we come back, i'll update you on a possible battery charge against justin bieber. the little girl from the videos and bruce willis, zendaya and music from divine fits. [ male announcer ] ah, a couple of college hoops rivals
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>> welcome back. zendaya and divine fits are here. but first, an important story about justin bieber. justin bieber was spotted in an airport in poland on monday. and for the second time this month, he was shirtless. he went through airport security with no shirt on. it looks like fig newtons in his hands there. he says he takes his shirt off after shows to cool down. i get that. every night after this show, i generally will strip down to my underpants and walk around l.a.x. for a while to reduce my body temperature. but in poland, it was 14 degrees that night, which is -- you know, that's how anne hathaway's character got tuberculosis in "les miz." it's not safe. justin was spotted shirtless a few weeks ago in london. i think he's just going through a marky mark phase right now. he returned to los angeles to find out he's being accused of battery. supposedly he got into an altercation with a neighbor in
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front of his house. according to the story, he had a new ferrari delivered to his house and he decided to take it for a drive. his neighbors claim he was going about 100 miles an hour. one of them, i guess, went over and confronted him. at which time the neighbor says bieber spit in his face and threatened to kill him. so he called the police and of course tmz was there and they got video of the incident. definitely going to get a time-out for that. you know, justin lashed out some paparazzi a few weeks ago. he seems to be having anger issues. do they have one of those bouncy chairs to put him in when he's having a fit? although i have to admit, i like hearing that justin bieber has a dark side. it's like when steve urkel turns into stephan arkel. as you may be aware, doritos
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partnered with taco bell to create the doritos locos taco. which is a taco with a shell made of doritos. now dorito is making a chip based on it. they're making doritos that tastes like taco shells that taste like doritos. so in other words, they're making doritos, right? it's either a snack or a sequel to the movie "inception" i'm not sure. confusing. they have a new commercial that clears it up. >> introducing the doritos locos tacos. imagine a nacho cheese flavored chip. redesigned back into the classic dorito shape. dorito, taco, back to dorito again. based on the best selling book "push." in stores april 74th. >> available at walgreens. >> jimmy: congratulations. you just broke the brain of
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every stoner in america. where do you stand on that guillermo. >> i like it. >> jimmy: you're for it? >> yes, for it. >> jimmy: wonderful. in a new interview, hugh hefner estimates -- they asked him how many women he slept with. he slept with more than 1,000 women. one for every year of his life. i think it's the way he carries himself. hugh hefner always knew just what what to say to have a beautiful woman to have sex with him. he would say "next." this came from an interview in "esquire" magazine which means "playboy" magazine got scooped by itself. those days are behind him. he says he's a one-woman man ever since he married in december. he claims the marriage is going great. he said all her friends think it's a marriage made in heaven. which i guess he will be finding out soon enough. and one more thing while we're on the subject of very active seniors, this happened at the
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ninth annual european veterans athletic indoor championships in san sebastian, spain, last week. i didn't know this event existed. but they had a 65-meter dash. it was exciting. they had a 94-year-old man from belgium facing off against the 95-year-old man from finland. [ applause ] >> jimmy: and then they died. but they went out champions. tonight on the show, the guaranteed winner of "dancing
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with the stars" this season, zendaya is with us. music from divine fits. and we'll be right back with bruce willis. so thank you for everything. ys g
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>> coming up, divine fits is coming to the stage. tomorrow night, dwayne johnson will be here. the first guest tonight is one of the big movie stars. his latest "gi joe retaliation" opens tomorrow. please welcome bruce willis. >> jimmy: how many interviews would you guess you've done over the course of your life?
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>> over 400. in the 400s, roughly. somewhere in there. >> jimmy: i imagine you get asked the same questions over and over again. >> yes. >> jimmy: which is the one you hate to hear the most? >> how you doing? >> jimmy: that is a tough one. that and can i borrow your chapstick? please, don't share chapstick, folks. please don't. kids at home. >> jimmy: i would like to make this a pleasurable experience for you. one of the keys is asking you questions that you have not been asked before. so i've come up with a list of unusual questions. and i'm going to run through them. if you've been asked any of these before, let me know and we won't go through it. but otherwise, go ahead, all right? have you ever seen an episode of "here comes honey boo boo." >> no. >> jimmy: have you ever been scared by a small animal? >> no. >> jimmy: have you ever drank
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through a curly straw? >> yes. >> jimmy: do you remember what the beverage was? >> gatorade. >> jimmy: can you do a cartwheel? >> yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: well? i would not have guessed you for a cartwheeler. >> cartwheel guy from new jersey. >> jimmy: have you ever bought one of your own mu veers on vhs, dvd blu-ray? purchased? >> yes, i did. >> jimmy: you did? >> laser disk. >> jimmy: which one was it?
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>> the river movie. hat. >> jimmy: the one with the hat. ever been in a potato sack race? >> yeah. >> jimmy: have you seen the gangnam style video? >> yeah. >> jimmy: have you ever taken a yoga class? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i asked this question of meryl streep. i was surprised by her answer. but i think it's more applicable to you. do you believe in ghosts? >> no. >> jimmy: have you ever played whiffle ball? >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you google yourself? >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you have any nut allergies? anything we should be concerned about? >> no. >> jimmy: okay. have you ever stolen anything worth more than $20? >> no. >> jimmy: do you floss? >> yes. >> jimmy: waxed or the just dry?
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>> mint waxed. >> jimmy: have you ever served on a jury? >> no. not yet. >> jimmy: have you ever been to a bruce springsteen concert? >> yeah. and when they all start cheering bruce, do you feel like it's for you? >> i get up for a real quick second. >> jimmy: we learned some good stuff about you there. your daughter mable turns 1 on monday. >> yeah. >> jimmy: which is april fool's day. which is -- do you think you'll do things to her to -- >> well, we do things to her every day. >> jimmy: which of your movies is mable's favorite. >> a lot of my pictures are not appropriate for under 1-year-old. she can't see a lot and i'm trying to set it straight.
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i have a film that is out right now at the same time that another one of my films is out. and so i have to -- >> jimmy: "g.i. joe" you're talking about? you have two movies out at the same time? >> go see that because it's a big, fun film. but the other picture -- >> jimmy: we have that? oh, okay, great. do i need to set anything up? >> no, you'll understand it. >> you loved "die hard." "die harder" "die hard with a vengeance" "live free or die hard" "a good day to die hard." and this easter weekend, john mcclane is back. >> time to die.
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okay. now the trick is be very careful with the egg as you lower it into the dye of your choice. you don't want to crack the egg. >> dye hard boiled eggs. >> jimmy: bruce willis, we'll be right back. >> the jimmy kim el live concert series is brought to you by sony. $3 six-inch select, en roasted chicken try it with melty cheese or banana peppers, still $3! now that's a great deal! subway. eat fresh. this april, it's the black forest ham. only three dollars? can't get enough of it. [ male announcer ] the delicious black forest ham
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[ all ] bigger. like us. right. like us. up top! yeah. [ breathing heavily ] [ male announcer ] it's not complicated. bigger is better. and at&t has the nation's largest 4g network. ♪ when her sister dumped me. grandpa was my dad a good athlete? no. oh dad, you remember my friend alex? yeah. the one that had the work done... good to see you. where do we go when we die? the ground. who's your girlfriend? his name is chad. and that's where babies come from. [ male announcer ] sometimes being too transparent can be a bad thing. this looks good!
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it's what you see is what you get food. >> i ain't going to be in neutral. >> what about you? >> he says i can't come out of retirement. >> they didn't say anything about reenlisting. >> reporting for duty, sergeant major. >> jimmy: that is "g.i. joe." dwayne is going to be here tomorrow. you play the original g.i. joe. which makes him kind of the faux joe, doesn't it? if you're the guy -- are you the
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one with the kung-fu grip? >> kung-fu grip. the articulated arms. >> jimmy: all the good stuff from the old days. he's a good guy, dwayne johnson. he makes everybody look good. >> jimmy: he makes everyone look terrible. your wife, if i understand, and correct me if i'm wrong, made a documentary about you. >> she just did. and it was out in germany last week. >> jimmy: is it a good idea to let your wife make a documentary about you? >> yes and no. yes and no. there are some things in there that probably shouldn't have been in any documentary. but i couldn't say no to her. and it beat the german grammys in the ratings. >> jimmy: you're very popular in germany. >> i can't imagine. >> jimmy: what's going on with you in germany? >> i beat the german grammys.
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well, i'm from germany. i was born there briefly. i mean -- >> jimmy: right. >> yeah, briefly. i was born there briefly. >> jimmy: your mom probably didn't think it was that brief. but you even have your own fragrance in germany, something that's only available in germany. and it's called bruce willis. and if you use it, you will live forever. >> it translates in english into petrol. >> jimmy: are you wearing bruce willis? >> i've got a little on right now. >> jimmy: i guess you're always wearing bruce willis. >> yes, i am. >> jimmy: will we get to see the documentary that your wife made? i like the idea of your wife making a documentary. you don't have final cut do you? >> no, they tell you that.
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>>. >> jimmy: are they going to show it over here? >> i hope so. >> jimmy: do you really hope so? >> yeah. well, i would like to see it. there's some stuff about me in high school that really should not be in there. >> jimmy: oh, it explains your whole life. that's got to be a little uncomfortable when she gets into the personal stuff. >> yeah. some of it got cut out. >> jimmy: fortunately she sent it to us, the stuff that got cut out and we have it. no, we don't have it for you right now. it's great to see you. the movie is called "g.i. joe -- retaliation." bruce willis, everybody. be right back with zendaya. ,, [ male announcer ] ah, a couple of college hoops rivals
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>> jimmy: still to come, music from divine fits. despite the fact that at 16, she's the youngest competitor on the show ever, i have staked both my reputation as a celebrity dance expert and a significant sum of money on our
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next guest to win "dancing with the stars. if she fails, i will garnish her allowance. from the disney channel, please welcome zendaya. ♪ >> jimmy: how tall are you? >> i'm 5'10". >> jimmy: is this going to affect your dancing? i wish i had known that to calculate. you don't have a growth spurt or anything that i need to worry about? >> i may. my mom is 6'4". >> jimmy: whoa. wow. so you've still got some growing to do? >> possibly. >> jimmy: you have one name like cher, oprah, beyonce, amirosa. what happened? your last name is coleman. why have you decided to go with one name?
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>> because i feel like my name is special on its own. it's like zendaya! and then coleman. >> jimmy: there are no other zendayas, right? >> not that i've met. >> jimmy: and you'll destroy them if you find them. >> no, we can share. >> jimmy: there can only be one zendaya as far as i'm concerned. does coleman have to do with gary or the camping company? >> not that i'm aware of. my parents didn't tell me anything about that. >> jimmy: i bet real money every year, and i'm pretty good at it. i pick about 50%. so you're in -- i would imagine you were thrilled when you got the news. >> i was really excited. i got a text from my teacher who got a text from her cousin who had seen it and i kind of freaked out. >> jimmy: your dance teacher? >> no, my schoolteacher. >> jimmy: i don't want you going to school during this -- oh, i hope you're not studying or anything like that. >> i know. i'm really trying. >> jimmy: i want no extracurricular activities. other than dancing.
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you should be dancing. you should be waking up in the morning and dancing, dancing all through the day and then dancing well into the night to get the highest scores. >> all right. i got you. i understand, yes. >> jimmy: what about your teacher, your partner on the show, val is your partner. is he a tough guy? is he really -- >> he's tough, but he's nice at the same time. i wanted someone who was tough on me and made sure i got it right. i don't like people who are too sweet but someone who's still going to be nice. he's a good balance. >> jimmy: he is a good balance? >> yes. >> jimmy: how many hours are you training? >> that's a tough part. i'm a minor and i still have to go to school. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. >> jimmy: i see my $1,000 just blowing away. so they're limiting the amount of time that you're able to dance? because you're a minor? >> i am. >> jimmy: oh, this stupid country. i swear to god. what's going on, guillermo. why would you even come here? wow, do you have your driver's license? >> no.
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>> jimmy: oh, good. i don't want you out driving or doing anything like that. >> i won't then. i'm sorry. when are you going to get -- why don't you have your driver's license? >> i'm really busy right now making your dreams come true. no, i've been really busy. i don't have enough time -- >> to learn to drive. >> jimmy: have you practiced a the all? >> no. and all i want to do is to be able to drive down the hill from my house and get a rolo mcflurry. i don't want to party or do anything. the ice cream, that's all i ask. >> jimmy: no ice cream until this competition is over. i'm not only lactose intolerant, i'm intolerant in general. afterwards on the day that -- after the finale, should you win, you know what, i'm going to buy you the biggest mcflurry you could imagine. >> yes! >> jimmy: you can get up to 300, 400 pounds, i don't care. you're tall enough you can carry it.
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you're on the disney channel, which is on -- every year it seems like there's a disney channel star on "dancing with the stars." but i think you're the first one that really has a shot at winning this thing. >> well, i will try. >> jimmy: did you get advice from the previous competitors on the show. >> my big brother on the show. he's like what did you get yourself into? and then he told me that the best piece of advice was to blow my nose before i go out on stage. and i was like okay. what does that have to do with anything. he said it's live. there are hd cameras. snot will fly. genius. genius. >> jimmy: really? practical advice. >> right? i don't want that. that's not a good look. >> jimmy: that's not going to help us get votes. no one likes snot. it does not appeal to anybody. if you could fake an injury, that's good. sometimes that helps. you need some sort of story art. right now you're coming out of the gate very, very strong. it would be great if something terrible could happen or maybe
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you lose a pet? it doesn't have to be a real pet. a hampster. nobody cares about those. >> my dog actually has cancer. >> jimmy: oh, my god, this is great. >> no! >> jimmy: why have you not mentioned this on the show. how cute is the dog? >> he's pretty cute. >> jimmy: oh, fantastic. no, of course, my main concern is your dog. you have to bring this up is what i'm saying. the dog has cancer? i couldn't have written it better myself. i hope your dog gets better after the show is what i'm saying. now, you're a dancer. that's part of the reason why i thought you would be a good pick for me. you dance on your show, right? and you're a good dancer. well, obviously you're a good dancer. we saw that on "dancing with the stars." but are you doing the same kind of dancing you need to do? what i'm saying is you need to
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be careful with the hip-hop type of stuff. >> that's the hard part. this is the posture i have to live in. i'm not used to this. nobody dances hip-hop like this. >> jimmy: is it hard not to do the things? >> it's hard. the only things -- you can't -- i'm not used to this. this is not where i live. i'm a teenager, i live like this. if val is watching, i'm sorry. >> jimmy: at all times. let me give you the most important tip i can give you, if you don't mind. stay away from andy dick. i think if you train hard, you steer clear of the mcflurries and you stay away from andy dick and of course, you know, the dog thing. gold. we're going to win something here, okay? >> okay. >> jimmy: all right. i wish you the best. i will be pulling for you. they call me nostradancer. that's true. we'll be right back with divine fits. ,,
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>> this is their album "a thing called divine fits" here with the song "like ice cream," divine fits! ♪ whisper it to me the way that you want me ♪ ♪ i don't got no feelin no more read it to me and tell me my rights i don't think i know ♪ ♪ no more you're talking soul power and i'm right there too ah she waited for me like ♪ ♪ ice cream on dry ice in the summer she waited for me like
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ice cream i coulda took all night she waited for me like ♪ ♪ ice cream i coulda took all summer oh like ice cream café dancer she shows you ♪ ♪ her wounds and you think that you know her well can't think a one place that you rather be ♪ ♪ ain't nothing you need tonight i'm ready to be it and you're right there too i'm living ♪ ♪ nostalgia like like ice cream
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on dry ice in the summer and melted in the ultra ♪ ♪ sheen and dime store cocoa butter she waited for me like ice cream i coulda took all summer ♪ ♪ so gimme some more i like that i coulda took aye uh aye aye uh aye aye uh aye aye aye ♪ aye uh aye aye aye aye uh aye aye uh aye i could a took all i could a took all summer like ice cream ♪
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♪ ♪ like ice like ice cream >> jimmy: i want to thank bruce willis, zendaya. apologies to matt damon, we ran
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out of time. tomorrow night dwayne johnson, saoirse ronan and music from kendrick lamar. this is their album "a thing called divine fits." playing us off the air with a cover of the tom petty's "you got lucky" see the full performance at jimmykimmelllive.com. once again, divine fits. good night. ♪ ♪ you better watch what you say you better watch what you do to me don't get carried away ♪ ♪ girl if you can do better than me go yeah go but remember good love is hard ♪ ♪ to find good love is hard to find you got lucky babe yeah you got lucky babe ♪
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♪ when i found you you put a hand on my cheek and then you turn your eyes away if you ♪ ♪ don't feel complete if i don't take you all of the way then go yeah go but remember ♪ ♪ good love is hard to find good love is hard to find you got lucky babe you got lucky
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babe when ♪ ♪ i found you yeah go ♪ ♪ remember good love this hard to find ♪ tonight on "nightline." posse patrol. what do steven segal and the nation's most controversial sheriff have in common? guns surrounding

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