tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC April 23, 2013 11:35pm-12:35am PDT
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made with beans. they said it's the third worst substance you can send in the mail behind anthrax and packing peanuts. it never got to the president. funny, people think the letter you sent tot president is going to be delivered to his desk. the president isn't opening his own mail. he's busy planning vacation for beyonce and jay-z. federal law enforcement agencies say they believe it's the from the same person who sent ricin to a republican senator yesterday. at least he's bipartisan. both letters were signed i am k.c. and i approve this message. it was either him or katie couric. who signs their initials on a
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letter filled with poison. the only people sending letters are terrorists and families with their annual holiday newsletters. they both belong in guantanamo bay, as far as i'm concerned. the white house believes north korea has a number of medium-range nonnuclear mittles ready to fire. i'm sick of gangnam style, too. but launching missiles i think is an overreaction. if there's anyone who can look at the bright side, it's my cousin mickey. she's unquestionably the most positive person i know. this afternoon, i asked her if she could find the silver lining in this missile crisis. let's find out if she could in tonight's edition of "micki spins it." >> we're in the middle of a crisis with north korea and it's
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really bad. but there's a silver lining with everything. things may not sense right now, but i think the silver lining is this bad thing is happening to make the north korean people, the nice ones, step up and let their boys be heard. the one that wanted to be heard but kim jong-lin, he was the leader of the pack. so his son needs support and he needs a lot of support from all of us. and we need to write letters and i think goodness will happen. >> i'm pretty sure kim jong-lin is the guy from the hangover. what did you say? >> i don't really know. we should all be positive and
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try. >> jimmy: when i am president she's going to make the best secretary of state. thank you, micki. this is a good story. a man in new york city is convicted of stealing more than $376,000 worth of copy machine toner from the law firm le worked for. they're known for their work with big corporations and investment banks and also for not ever having any toner in their copier. adrian rodriguez pleaded guilty to second degree grand larceny. what's the point of having a job if you can't steal office supplies from it. but they caught him black handed. they were worth between $80 and $259 a piece. and he would sell them from $10 to $50 a piece. he should probably look into getting a business degree while in business. why is printer toner the most expensive product known to man. in bradford, a man dressed as batman dragged a criminal into a
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local police station. this is the guy's name. in this version of batman his parents just wish they were dead. anyway, over the weekend, he and the guy he turned in, the guy he originally turned in were caught this guy is named daniel frain. he and daniel were caught breaking into a garage to steal $1,200 worth of power tools together. apparently they're a team. batman and daniel. doesn't have the same ring as robin, but, well, you move on. the american library association
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put out their annual list of the most challenged books in america. these are books libraries received most complaints about. the most complaints, not "50 shades of grey." that came in at number four. the number one most challenged book was "captain underpants." a kids book. it's funny, but it has characters like professor poopy pants and wedgy woman. so i guess the toilet humor bothers people. if you're worried about "captain underpants." wait until you see your 11-year-old's google search history. from time to time we like to give you an update on the work the great minds of the world have to offer. take this in. this is this week in science. >> a new study confirms men cannot read women's emotions. >> good work, scientists. >> jimmy: you don't say?
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that came out of the blue. here's a new product that caught my eye. you know when you're done with a bowl of cereal, you drink the leftover milk and it takes like heaven? there's a company that's selling preflavored cereal milk. it's milk that tastes like it had cereal in it. mayor bloomberg has already banned it. it comes in chocolate chip kathy flavor and trudy fruity. they say if you drink a whole glass, your teeth will literally fall out of your mouth. i've never been prouder to be an american. whatever you do, though, do not pour cereal into a bowl of actual cereal. it will tear a hole in the space-time continuum. we'll all die. los angeles, a very urban city.
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tall buildings, freeways, all that stuff. but we're surrounded by mountains. sometimes we get visits from mountain lions. a mountain lion was captured in a house not too far from us. it's the the first sights of a mountain lion in a populated area this year. it's a good one, too. >> the backyard looks a little like the wild, but john wasn't inviting this. the 125-pound cat stayed close. here he is nearby, leaping over a seven-foot fence. >> he comes through the back way and gets under my deck. >> there the cat is tranquilized again. and here's the hiding spot. the cat was down here for a good 45 minutes -- >> jimmy: we got some good reaction. we're going to take a break. when we come back, you'll like this. we ask people our confusing question of the day. it's a good one.
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plus harrison ford, anthony mackie and music from m83. so chillax or whatever. ♪ ♪ ooh, yeah, ooh-ooh, yeah ♪ ooh, yeah, ooh-ooh, yeah ♪ i love ya ♪ ooh, yeah, ooh-ooh, yeah [ female announcer ] special k popcorn chips. with 28 delicious chips for 120 calories, you can bring the flavor of the movies home and still stay on track. freedom to enjoy. what will you gain when you lose? find them in the cracker aisle. and subway has your ticket to fresh. score a chance to win a free ticket to iron man 3 with every better-for-you subway fresh fit for kids meal, featuring an exclusive meal bag. iron man 3 in theaters may 3rd.
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hose or bucket? bucket, i guess bucket's broken, you get the hose what's so fun about that? that seems lame. i like "and" better. and is better, the twenty thirteen explorer. only ford gives you ecoboost fuel economy and a whole lot more. go further. when your allergies start, doctors recommend taking one non-drowsy claritin every day during your allergy season for continuous relief. 18 days! 12 days! 24 days of continuous relief. live claritin clear. every day. that there's the guy who gets his salsa from new york city. new york city?! [ male announcer ] only pace has that big, bold kick.
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(jessica lee) ♪ and it's beautiful (woman) why walk 60 miles in the boldest breast cancer event in history? because your efforts help komen serve millions of women and men facing breast cancer every year. visit the3day.org to register or to request more information today. it was 3 days of pure joy. ♪ and it's beautiful >> jimmy: welcome back. i don't think i've ever heard of this before. a bar is opening in the chicago area next week. a bar that is alcohol free. so if you want to see some truly horrible dance, this is the place. the bar doesn't serve alcohol but it has a pool table,
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ping-pong and darts. it's a basement. they're opening up a basement. the bar is located in the suburb of crystal lake. it's called "the other side." which reminds me of a joke, why did the chicken cross the road? to get to any bar other than the other side. this is pretty good. i'm not sure where this happened. someone riding the subway noticed the person across from them was getting very enthused music. so he or she did the right thing and recorded it and posted it on youtube for us. >> maybe he was having a seizure, i don't know.
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because we have the most sophisticated audio and video equipment in the world here at this show we're able to pin point the sound coming from his earphones and boost it so we could hear what song he was listening to. let's play that back. ♪ if you like pina colada ♪ getting caught in the rain if you're not into yoga ♪ ♪ if you have half a brain guillermo, you know that song? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you like it? >> i like it, too. >> jimmy: one more thing, everyone has an opinion on just about everything. we like to venture out to hollywood boulevard. we asked people a very confusing question. the question we asked is, in
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light of beyonce and jay-z's trip to cuba to you support obama's plan for 5% of taxes to south korea should ahmadinejad fortify his nuclear program. it makes no sense. it has enough to it to make people feel like they should have an answer. with that said, it's time for our confusing question of the day. >> in light of beyonce and jay-z's recent trip to cuba, do you support 25% of federal tax dollars to protect john kerry against south korea should ahmadinejad move forward with his nuclear program? >> i think we should. just in case something obviously happens. but if nothing is going on, then he shouldn't. >> light of the recent trip to cuba, do you support president
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obama's plan for 25% of federal tax dollars to south korea should ahmadinejad go forward with his nuclear program? >> oh, yes. we should do everything should a problem arise. >> i agree. >> in light of beyonce and jay-z's recent trip to cuba do you support president obama's plan to allocate 5% of the federal tax dollars to protect john kerry from zut korea should mahmoud ahmadinejad love forward with his nuclear program? >> you have to say all again because i didn't understand a word you said. >> do you support obama's plan to spend 5% of tax dollars to protect john kerry from south korea should ahmadinejad move forward with his nuclear program? >> that's a good question. i lack information on the particular situation, so therefore i couldn't answer you at this time. had i gained more information about this particular situation then yeah, i could respond with an accurate answer. but unfortunately, i don't have one at this time. >> what's that smell?
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>> gucci guilty black. >> thank you for your time. >> thank you very much. >> you have gorgeous eyes. >> you have a nice mouth. >> you threw a couple of different things out. you're talking about ahmadinejad? >> yes. >> so are you talking about south korea? >> yes. >> you are talking about pakistan? >> yes. >> oh, you guys are [ bleep ] with me, aren't you? >> jimmy: who'd have thought he would be the one? >> jimmy: we have a good show with you tonight. from "pain & gain" anthony mackie is here. we have music from m 83. we'll be right back with harrison ford. ♪
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ys of walking to give a breast cancer survivor a lifetime-- that's definitely a fair trade. whoo! you walk with friends, you meet new friends, and you keep those friendships. it was such a beautiful experience. (woman) ♪ and it's beautiful ♪ undeniable (woman) why walk 60 miles in the boldest breast cancer event in history? because everyone deserves a lifetime. visit the3day.org to register or to request more information today. ♪ burning like a fire ♪ building up from deep inside it was 3 days of pure joy.
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susan g. komen's investments in early detection and treatment have helped reduce breast cancer mortality in the u.s. by 33% since 1990. help us continue serving the millions of women and men with breast cancer who still need us every day. register for the 3-day now. (woman) it's just been an amazing, amazing journey. i love these people. ♪ and it's beautiful
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♪ a >> hello. tonight on the program, starting april 26, you can see him alongside mark wahlberg and dwayne johnson in the movie "pain & gain." anthony mackie is here. and then with music from the soundtrack from the movie "oblivion," m83 from the sony stage. tomorrow night, chris o'donnell will be here. ken jeong will be here.
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and we'll have music from phoenix. whether he's blade-running, whip-cracking or wookie-sitting, our first guest is one of the most popular actors in the galaxy. you can see him now as legendary dodgers gm branch rickey in the jackie robinson bio-pic "42." please welcome harrison ford. [ cheers and applause ] >> how you doing? >> good. >> jimmy: nice to see you. >> nice to be seen. >> jimmy: you have the number one movie in the world. >> so far. >> jimmy: what is it like to be number one? i would love to feel that for at least a second.
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it must be incredible. >> it -- i can't -- you wouldn't understand. >> jimmy: so you have this movie, it's a big -- and by the way, i love the movie. i thought it was great. i really did think it was great. i learned a lot from it, too. >> yeah. the guy is great, don't you think? >> jimmy: a couple of things that made me angry. some of the guys that were so terrible to jackie robinson are in the baseball hall of fame. >> yeah. yeah. and some of them aren't. some of them never worked again. >> jimmy: so they have a big day for jackie robinson at dodger stadium last weekend. was it monday? or when was it? >> i know where this is going. >> you were asked to throw out
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the first pitch in the game. >> it's not my particular skill. >> jimmy: yeah. >> actually, i'm an actor. i tend to be able to do certain -- i pretend to be able to do certain things for money. >> jimmy: so maybe pretending to be a pitcher would be a good idea. let's take a look here. it's a little bit on the outside. not terrible. not really terrible. but not good. does that bother you? >> as man -- >> i got a lot of very conflicting advice. >> from whom? >> oh, from all kinds of people
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who pretended to be able to know out the first ball. a lot of people said don't go to the mound because, you know, that's kind of long. and i thought, [ bleep ]. and i practiced. we went 62 1/2 feet in my backyard. and my son, he's 12. and he caught. and we talked about it a lot. because i didn't want to embarrass him. he's a baseball player. and i've got a 47-year-old son with a pitch for usc. and he told me what he thought i ought to do. and i got there and met don mattingly. he works there. >> jimmy: yeah, the coach of the dodgers. manager. and rachel robinson saying go
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for it. so i go out there and that's what happened. and mattingly says, you know, george bush always said go to the mound. well, thank you very much. it's a little late for that. and besides, i never believed anything else he said. and mattingly said, well, he had to be right about something. >> that's pretty funny. that's a good one. >> i have another clip i would like to show you real quickly if we could. >> and here's jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: see, watch this. look at that. actually over the fence! did you see that? i actually hit it so hard it
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went over the fence. isn't that something? see, it went way over the fence. harrison? >> yes. >> jimmy: next time there's an event like this, talk to me. i know what i'm doing out there is all i'm trying to say. >> okay. >> jimmy: when you are harrison ford, you can't screw anything up. if you trip over your shoe lace, it's like nice one, indiana jones, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: guillermo, anything you would like to say to harrison? >> no. he did a great job. >> jimmy: i'm on my own?
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>> we're just not ready for that kind of team in philadelphia. my team is going to be in philadelphia tomorrow with robinson. and if we have to claim the game as a forfeit, so be it. that's 9-0, in case you forgot. >> you have a hell of a hair across your ass for a long time and i would like to know what you think you would like to prove. >> you think god likes baseball, herb? >> what the hell is that going -- supposed to mean? >> someday you're going to meet god and when he requires why you didn't take the field against robinson in philadelphia and you answer because he's a negro, it may not be a sufficient reply! >> jimmy: the jackie robinson
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story, "42." i don't know his kwhoel life story. but he seemed like a good guy. yeah, he was a devout methodist. sounds moneyny to be a devout methodist. methodist seems like enough. he was the kind of guy, he never traveled with the team. he always was home for dinner with mrs. ricky and he never went to a game on sunday. i think he really was motivated by moral and ethical concerns. he felt that it was the right thing to do, but he was also a baseball businessman. and he understood that there was an enormous pool of talent in the negro leagues.
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so he was motivated by his desire to have a better team and to win. but he also -- i think he had a real social conscious. and there wasn't any basketball or any football. as a metaphor for america, he felt it ought to be fair. thank god he did that because i think without what happened in baseball, it would have been a long time before the civil rites movement gained traction. baseball really made a huge contribution. >> jimmy: and specifically jackie robinson. >> i think branch ricky figured that he was smart, really a good player, but also that he had the resofl and the strong and the support in his wife to stand up
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to what ricky knew he would have had to face. >> jimmy: i would not have been a good jackie robinson. first of all, i'm white. that's a problem right there. >> yeah. yeah. and it continues to be a problem for you. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, sure. all the time. >> work on it, jimmy. >> jimmy: now, i don't mean to move on to other parts of your career, but there's a "star wars" movie coming out. j.j. abrams is directing it. and i would love to know what your plans are for this. >> you know, i can't -- >> jimmy: you can't say what's going on? >> you know, there's nothing -- i can't talk about it. >> jimmy: we have people in the audience that would like to ask you questions. would you be all right taking questions?
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any rules? >> no star wars questions. i can't. >> jimmy: no problem. i think we have -- okay, we have a gentleman right there. no star wars questions. >> do you like being in movies? >> yeah, yeah. >> thank you. >> jimmy: pretty straightforward there. do we have another question. we have someone right over here. >> ummm, are you hungry. >> jimmy: are you hungry? >> no, not really. >> thank you. >> jimmy: okay, yes. right here. question right there. [ growling ]
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>> you son of a bitch. what do you want? [ growling ] >> yeah, you would like that wouldn't you? always trying to blame me. you're the one who couldn't keep it in your furry pants. >> jimmy: actually, he doesn't wear pants. >> i rest my case. [ growling ] >> you're so full of [ bleep ] how did he get in here? did you set this up? did you set this up? >> jimmy: no, no, i just thought you two could bury the hatchet. i thought it would be nice to get you together, you know. >> he knows what he did. she was my wife.
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you wookie sack of [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: there's no reason to speak -- [ growling ] >> listen to me. you're either on my side or you're on his side. now [ bleep ] i'm out of here. no really -- >> jimmy: really, i didn't -- and you, i'll see you in hell. >> jimmy: well, "42" is in theatres now. harrison ford, everyone. we'll be right back with anthony mackie. ♪ ♪
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iron, sweating bullets and wreaking havoc alongside mark wahlberg and dwayne johnson in "pain & gain." it opens in theaters april 26th. please say hello to anthony mackie. [ applause ] >> jimmy: how you doing? where you from? >> new orleans, louisiana. slow your roll recognize the reel. five opo, slow your roll, recognize the reel. you see what i'm saying? >> jimmy: how did you get into showbizness and acting? >> i was an inquisitive kid. i tested for this talent and theatre program and got in. i had this public access tv show and this rap label with my cousin called take four records. because it was take four. so my public access show was
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called positive black talk. >> jimmy: that was the name of this show originally. >> i know. when you said you couldn't play jackie robinson, i would like come on, i could see that. >> jimmy: so you have a public access show. i love that. >> you need to do a public access show. do a late night show on public access. >> jimmy: it doesn't pay a lot but you can say whatever you want. then you end up in two movies "million dollar baby." nice baby oil shots. >> jimmy: did you get to spend time with morgan freeman on that movie? >> yes. morgan is a very nice old dude. he gave me the best career advice i've ever had in my life. i went to his trailer and i was like yo, morgan i need to talk
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to you. i got offered an offbroadway play. i was going to make $425 a week in new york. i got offered a movie. they were going to give me a bucket of money. literally go to home depot get a bucket of money and fill it with money and come to my house. he said do the play. he said do the play and do their craft. he burped an old cobweb hollywood kind of ur. my eyes were watering. he said hollywood will come and get you. when they get you, they'll pay you. and then he kicked me out of my trailer. i saw him not too long ago. that's how he talks to me. then he curses at me. >> jimmy: and the burping? >> it's just a morgan thing. when he eats, he burps. you know, we could can burp and
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go, you know, like all the dudes know you're on a date with a chick. eww, yeah. you know what i mean? but he just give it to you. >> jimmy: he was sharing some of his magic with you. so you have a bar, i understand, which seems like a terrible idea. >> jimmy: i wanted you to come shoot at my bar. it's all the rage. it's in brooklyn, crown heights. where you at, baby? where you at, baby? >> jimmy: it's in real brooklyn. >> real brooklyn. it's called no bar short for new orleans. >> jimmy: is it doing well for you financially? >> i ain't going to talk about my money, man. it's a bar, if i say i'm doing well i'm getting audited. it's going all right. all right. i'm breaking even.
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>> jimmy: you're in this movie with mark wahlberg who was here last night. he's hugely muscular. >> it's uncomfortable. >> jimmy: are you one of the bodybuilders in the movie? >> yeah. he called every morning yo, get your ass up, we work out. i was like all right. we would go to the four seasons and work out. we called say dwayne come work out with us? negative. >> jimmy: why not? >> he do his own thing at his own thing at his own pace at his own time. >> jimmy: he said he gets up at 4:00 in the morning? >> who does that? that makes no sense. >> jimmy: is mark a good workout partner? >> he's the most intense workout person you've ever worked with. all he do is yell at you. he gets up. put 425 on there. what are you trying to prove? you get under there, he do it
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ten times. literally the weight hit my chest and bounced off me. >> jimmy: so he's not a good workout partner. >> he inspires you. i had incredible gains working out. anybody who worked out, i had amazing gains working out where mark wahlberg. >> jimmy: so you recommend people should try to work out with mark wahlberg. >> i recommend that you should have somebody there yelling at you when you work out. just all kind of stupid stuff. >> jimmy: i hear the movie is great. have you seen the whole thing yet? >> i've seen it twice. it's a fun movie. it's a lot of fun. it's what movies used to be. it's great to be a part of it. >> jimmy: it gritz to have you here. congratulations. "pain & gain." we'll be right back with m83. ,,
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the "oblivion" original motion picture soundtrack is out now. >> jimmy: i want to thank harrison ford, anthony mackie. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. tomorrow night, chris o'donnell, ken jeong, and music from phoenix. "nightline" is next. good night! tonight on "nightline." incidental hero. the man who discovered the boston bomber in his boat. >> i looked in the boat over here, on the floor, and i see blood. >> tonight, new details about the american teen turned suspected bomber. could his teenage brain be part of the problem? from taking out terrorists to taking pictures of your neighbors. drones seem to be in the skies
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