dickey: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, mel brooks, science bob pflugfelder, and music from the airborne toxic event. with cleto and the cletones. and now, what more can i say, here's jimmy kimmel! [ applause ] >> jimmy: i'm jimmy. thanks for watching.

here you're watching on a great night tonight. usually when i say you're watching a great night, i'm lying. but tonight it's actually the truth. tonight, we have mel brooks, science bob pflugfelder, and music from the airborne toxic event. so try to stay away wake. tonight on the program, here's some of the demonstrations bob pflugfelder has done on the show before. >> whoa! >> wow! [ applause ] >> jimmy: tonight, he will be igniting a rainbow of fire, a hunl multipronged toilet paper weapon and he built personal hover crafts for us. you know, i tell you, when i was a kid, they used to have ads in the back of the kmomic books,

build your own hovercraft. even in the kid when my imagination was vast, i knew i was too dumb to build one by myself. so i decided to get my own talk show to get smart to build one for me. tonight my dream comes true. now all i need is sex with a woman. in new zealand, the government released a list of names that the parents aren't allowed to give their children. all baby names have to be approved before they're given to a child. the government say since 2001, nay eve had to turn down six different requests to name a baby luis lucifer. 62 requests to name a kid justice and even a request to name a child anal. that can't be right, can it? that's got to be a dyslexic family trying to name their kid anal. maybe we should put new zealand in charge of our celebrity parents.

what's that alicia silverstone, you want to name your child bear blue? no, his name is david because he's a person not a stuffed animal. jeff foxworthy and larry the cable guy are building a theme park in alabama. they're building a 500-acre theemt park that will have hotels, rides, and rv resort, restaurants. i don't know if i would go to an amusement park built by comedians. who knows what they think is funny. this is a half-a-coaster. it's targeted for people who love six flags and confederate flags. it will cost $200 million to build it. if it's successful, they're hoping to build five more of them around the country. wow. i tell you what, it sounds like a perfect spot to have a gay wedding. cinco de mayo is on this sunday.

[ applause ] >> cince de mayo, kentucky derby and a thousand bunch of high school proms. the only person who will be sober in the country is mitt romney. are you excited about cinco demayo? >> yes, of course. >> jimmy: now, you're still not allowed to drink at home? >> no. >> jimmy: how are you going to celebrate? >> well, tequila and tacos, but i have to go to a restaurant. >> jimmy: if you want a sleepover afterwards, you're welcome. >> i would love to. >> jimmy: that's spanish for the 5th of may. while most people know that, i had a feeling not everyone does. so we conducted an experiment today. we went out on hollywood boulevard and asked pedestrians what date cinco de mayo was on. you wouldn't think we would be able to find anyone who didn't know. but what do you know, we did. >> when is cinco de mayo. >> the 15th of may. >> when is cinco demayo?

>> the 4th? wait. >> when is cinco de mayo. >> when is it? i have no idea, but it hasn't come up this year yet. >> what do you think the word cinco de mayo means. >> i think of bongos and percussion. that's what i think of when i hear it. >> what does cinco de mayo celebrate? >> drinking. >> what do we celebrate on cinco de mayo. >> tacos. >> when is cinco de mayo. >> i knew this would be hard. >> take a guess. >> may. 15th. >> close. take another guess. >> december 5. >> colder. >> december 25. oh, that's christmas. >> warmer. >> november 15. >> colder.

>> november 1. november 12. >> colder. november 15. warmer. >> july. >> a little earlier. >> june. >> may. >> 31st. >> may. >> may 31st. >> may? >> may 15. >> may? >> may 16. 17. may 5. yes! congratulations. >> i always wanted to be one of these dumb people on the street. >> well, you've done it. >> jimmy: it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship. >> he didn't set out to be first, but i'm happy to

[ bleep ] the [ bleep ] >> who hasn't [ bleep ]. >> i haven't found the next mr. right. >> do you [ bleep ]. >> oh, yeah, i love it. >> that's a lot of [ bleep ]. >> telling us about the new craze called blow [ bleep ] bars. >> i remember when [ bleep ] was something i did in college arnold 2:00 a.m. >> we got kicked out of the park because we had two grown men [ bleep ] in the park. people were walking their dogs. >> you're kidding? >> good work scoob. let's go get some [ bleep ]. >> tim tebow permission to bleep his own [ bleep ]. >> the only reason i never [ bleep ] you because i'm gay. >> she can lie to you until the cow comes home and you can [ bleep ] her ass. ♪ don't, don't, don't [ bleep ]

your friends ♪ ♪ don't, don't, don't [ bleep ] your friends ♪ >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. but when we come back the president of turkminestan fell off a horse this weekend. we have an exclusive live interview with him. you don't want to miss it. plus mel brooks and music from the airborne toxic event. stay with us. >> hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. in honor of mother's day i'm taking my mom out to eat for their all you can eat wing fest. >> you need a bib before dinner. >> jimmy: i don't need a bib. >> i'll put you over my knees. >> jimmy: wing fest is fresh,

never frozen wings at a unbelievable price. >> no, no, let mommy do it. open wide. these are so yummy. >> jimmy: i'm not getting some of these wings, am i? >> no, you're not. go sit in time-out and let mommy finish her dinner. open wide. sit down. ♪

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>> jimmy: the president of turkminestan, which is a real country was riding in a horse race. he won the race, but shortly after he crossed the finish line, you'll see he fell off his horse. you can only imagine how humiliating that would be if he was the president of a country anyone has ever heard of. but all his guys came out to grab him. it's one of the countries with state-run media, so the government did everything they could to squash that video. there was no mention of it on the news, but it has become a

viral sensation around the world. so because of that, he has agreed to speak with us live via satellite tonight. mr. president, thank you for joining us. is it proper to call you mr. president. >> it is fine. >> jimmy: how do i pronounce your name exactly? [ indiscernible ] >> jimmy: do you have a nickname? >> gooby. >> jimmy: how are you feeling after that nasty fall off your horse? >> that was not me. that was not me. >> jimmy: who was that? >> stunt double. i have a stunt double. i have a stunt double. i'm not sure i'm here now as me. i have so many feel they want to shoot me, i have many people who look like me that dress like me that i hope they're not fooling around with my wife.

anyway, all i can tell you is that was not me. i won the race and some shmuck fell off the horse. i'm upset. >> jimmy: may i ask, was that your -- was that your horse that was in the race? >> could i see it again? >> jimmy: how long have you been racing horses? >> 14 months. >> jimmy: do you participate in other dangerous sports? >> yes. i do high diving. i'm trying to get on that show in america, they won't take me. >> jimmy: oh, "splash." the celebrity diving show. >> they wouldn't take me because i'm not an american citizen. you have to sign papers. there's one guy, louie, i can't believe it.

>> he's so large. i hate to say it, but he's fat. and he don't dive, they roll him. they roll him off. i could dive. i look like a fairy princess when i dive. so beautiful. >> jimmy: is diving a popular sport in your country? >> we are in the desert. i'm the only one that does it. i'm the only one that has a pool. >> jimmy: you must be the best. >> i'm the only one. i don't have to be the best. >> jimmy: that hat you're wearing is, that a ceremonial hat. >> it's in turkmanestan, we have of two hats. we have this hat. you got me? i'm going to show you. . we have this hat. and what we do, on very religious occasion, we make it

into that, in case -- >> jimmy: so it's reversible then. >> like my raincoat. >> jimmy: and what is your country known for? do you export? >> corn and wheat and rye and barley. we have none of that [ bleep ]. we just don't have it. >> jimmy: is there a mrs. president? >> yes, yes, at the moment. >> jimmy: have you ever been married before? >> twice. >> jimmy: what happened?

>> well, the first one was too fat. the second one was too skinny. and this one is perfect. a little short. she's a little short. >> jimmy: how tall is she? >> about a foot. but she's so cute. >> jimmy: she's one foot tall? >> one foot, yes. and if anybody starts a war, she's safe. everything goes right over her head. >> jimmy: are you familiar with the comedian mel brooks, the american comedian? >> jew. >> jimmy: i'm very sorry i asked. we have a good show tonight. science bob pflugfelder is here, the airborne toxic event is with us, and we'll be right back with mel brooks.

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>> jimmy: tonight on the program, a real life elementary school teacher who is here to delight and possibly kill us. our old pal science bob pflugfelder is here. he built a hovercraft using a leaf blower.

my gardeners are going to be furious. and then, with music from their new album "such hot blood," the airborne toxic event from the sony outdoor stage. >> jimmy: we've got a great line up for you next week. robert downey jr. will be here, as will tobey maguire, zoe saldana, simon pegg, edie falco, bill simmons from espn, kerry washington. and we'll have music from fitz and the tantrums, goo goo dolls, will.i.am and rod stewart. so join us then. [ applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is 1 of only 11 people in history to win an emmy, grammy, oscar and tony award. and he's much funnier than the other ten. his is the brain behind "blazing saddles," "the producers," "young frankenstein" and many more. you can see his genius documented on video in the

upcoming american masters documentary "mel brooks: make a noise." it premieres monday, may 20th, on pbs and on dvd may 21st. please welcome the great mel brooks. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> this is no good. this is no good. >> jimmy: what? the show? >> no, i'm on it. it's got to be good. no, this setup is no good. >> jimmy: our stage setup? >> where the guests come out and sit, it's no good. last time i was here, it was great. got paid about $13. the money isn't great. but i sat down but anyway, for a couple of weeks after that, i had a stiff neck. i couldn't figure it out. my neck hurt and i realized,

here i am, i'm turning. i'm a [ bleep ] star. i never look up. i never look up, i am upstage. and here i am, you know, like at the end of the mickey rooney's career, here i am down stage and looking, and that's why my neck. so if you don't -- stage hands, stage hands! you can't touch anything without

stage hands. >> jimmy: what do you want them to do. >> up, up, up. >> jimmy: you want to move -- don't go past him, he's the star. all right, that's good. [ applause ] when that light goes on, move back a little. >> jimmy: you came here at the last minute, and i thank you for doing that. you filled in for -- >> it was a pleasure. who were you supposed to have? >> robert downey jr. he's going to be on next week now. >> and he's doing what? "ironman 3." >> jimmy: yes. >> so let me ask you a very personal question. no [ bleep ]. did you and your writers do a little homework? i mean, did you have a few questions? >> jimmy: i went and saw the movie. i had some questions. why wait until next tuesday.

i can answer them for you. >> jimmy: what was the most difficult part of making "ironman 3." >> well, the breathing. you know, they put you in that [ bleep ] tin can. and it's hard. you know, it's okay for half an hour. then suddenly, fighting to get some, you know, what i did, you know, and i never told the studio, i always had an ice pick with me and i punched holes. a little air would get in. >> jimmy: what's the worst thing about being in the suit? >> rust.

they don't call it stainless steel man. >> jimmy: you're right. >> they use iron. it's iron man. >> jimmy: you're right. >> it's incredibly primitive. okay, that's enough about robert downey jr. >> jimmy: at what age did you realize hey, i'm pretty funny. >> i think i was about 4 to 5 months old. i knew i had it. i knew -- >> jimmy: who knew you had it then. >> people would peer over the rail of my crib. they would look into my crib and they would get hysterical. okay, that's the job. >> jimmy: i want to bring

something personal up. to me it's interesting. i don't know if it will be interesting to you. but i found out recently that your mother and my grandmother played bingo together at the kings way bingo hall. >> i used to give her a couple bucks to go to the kings way. not your grandmother, my mom. >> jimmy: that's your mom and you with kitty. >> now listen, i went backstage to see eddie cantor, because my mother said to me that eddie cantor really liked her. they were kids together on the lower east side. he said he really liked me but i liked your father more. so i kind of avoided him. but he loved me. so i went backstage. he was doing a big night of stars. and i said mr. cantor, i'm mel brooks, i write "the show of shows" and he loved the show. i said you grew up with my mother and she told me you actually liked her a lot and you were kind of after her. he said your mother? who's your mother.

i said kitty kaminski. he said no. i didn't know -- i'm sorry, i didn't know kitty. i said gee, she's never been known to lie, not my mother. this is very sad. so i walked out, i was very depressed. i said my mother told me eddie cantor loved her. so i walked toward the door. as i got to the door i said wait. her maiden name was katie brookman. he said i loved her! >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. ♪

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>> at one point, the germans were only a few miles away across the creek or a river. and that night, i could actually hear them singing something in german. ♪ ya ya ya ya so i picked up a big horn and i said i'll sing to them. ♪ toot toot tootsie goodbye

♪ wait for the mail i'll never fail ♪ ♪ if you don't get a letter you know i'm in jail ♪ ♪ goodbye tootsie goodbye ♪ don't cry tootsie goodbye and i actually heard clapping. they really liked it. >> may 20. >> jimmy: a big pbs documentary. then on dvd after that. and you're being honored by the american film institute this month. >> yeah, i mean, it's their choice. i wouldn't have picked me, but if they want to do that. i mean, there's john ford, there's -- you know, hitchcock. hitchcock never won the academy award. >> jimmy: he didn't? >> never, never.

maybe he was nominated once. but he was given an afi award, which was an important salute to alfred hitchcock. maybe the best director who ever lived. >> jimmy: do you get tired of people calling you a legend. and do you get tired of adulation that you get from people? >> i'm a brooklyn jew. i just need enough money so that i can get a cab. you know, i don't need adulation. but, you know, somebody 5'6", well built -- never mind. let me explain. i knew alfred hitchcock, i knew him. >> jimmy: you did know him. sure, you made "high anxiety." >> i used to go to his bungalow at universal every friday and he would absolutely work on my script. cletones, this is true! >> jimmy: he would work on your script? >> he would correct my script. he knew he was a genre. i had done cowboys, you know? i had done various genre, space.

but here i was the whole genre called high anxiety. a salute to alfred hitchcock. and he worked with me. and he corrected things. >> jimmy: did he like the film? >> well, he saw the film, he saw the rough cut. he waddled by me. took about an hour. and then he left. he didn't say a word. >> jimmy: nothing, huh? >> he didn't say a word. i was so heart broken. the next day on my desk at 20th century box. a beautiful wonderful case of wine, 1961, six magnums, a priceless collection of wine. i have one left. i drank the rest in a fit of i don't know. but anyway, and, you know, then i went to see him and kissed him and thanked him for it. he loved the movie. he invited me to dinner. we went to dinner.

he ordered a shrimp cocktail and they're big. six shrimp. they're big. and, you know, filled with some kind of horse radish and something red. cocktail sauce. so he has six and then he has a green salad with strange dressing. and asparagus. a long plate for the asparagus all by itself. and a 2 1/2 three-inch sirloin steak. a big baked potato cut in half, loaded with all kinds of, stuffed with chives and sour cream and stuff like that. and he ate everything. then for dee zer, he had two bowls of yellow ice cream. chocolate with a cherry. and he finished and he had an ostrich leather case. he look out a cigar, took a little guillotine, clipped the

put the cigar in his mouth and he paused. i said uh-oh. maybe he's thinking of a new movie. maybe he's thinking of a ground breaking -- something we'll remember forever and ever. who knows. this guy is a genius. and he's sitting there thinking. not liking it. and he says george, do it again. do it again? what is he talking about? what does he mean do it again? five minutes later, six shrimp cocktails, big -- >> jimmy: we'll be right back with science bob. >> jimmy: our next guest is a real-life elementary school science teacher who never travels without a fire extinguisher in hand. he is here tonight to delight us. please welcome science bob pflugfelder. when we made our commitment to the gulf, bp had two big goals:

help the gulf recover, and learn from what happened so we could be a better, safer energy company. i've been with bp for 24 years. i was part of the team that helped deliver on our commitments to the gulf - and i can tell you, safety is at the heart of everything we do. we've added cutting-edge safety equipment and technology, like a new deepwater well cap and a state-of-the-art monitoring center, where experts watch over all our drilling activity, twenty-four-seven. and we're sharing what we've learned, so we can all produce energy more safely. safety is a vital part of bp's commitment to america - and to the nearly 250,000 people who work with us here. we invest more in the u.s. than anywhere else in the world. over fifty-five billion dollars here in the last five years -

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>> jimmy: our next guest is a real-life elementary school science teacher who never travels without a fire extinguisher in hand. he is here tonight to delight us. please welcome science bob pflugfelder. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm going to put on my safety glasses. >> let's start with chemistry. they discovered long ago if you add metal to flames, certain metals to flames it will change the color of the flames. it actually interacts with the

electromagnetic spectrum and you see different colors out of the flame. that technology actually went on to be used in fireworks. it can make fireworks more colorful. i thought it would be a fun thing to demonstrate. we've got bunson burners here. if you turn that blue knob here, that's going to power up our natural gas. >> these never work at my house. >> it's almost an invisible flame. then i've got a flammable liquid, but they have different salt metals in them. so this one has sodium in them. basically table salt which gives you a yellowish flame. you try it. same for sort of the middle of the flame and give it a spray. if we put lithium in here. we would get an orange red flame. >> jimmy: wow, that is good. >> we have some strontium and copper. >> jimmy: oh, i was hoping you would bring strontium. >> i would like to do all of

these at once and see if we can create a rainbow of color. we have five colors but only four hands. >> jimmy: guillermo, can you help us real quick? >> tres, dos, uno. here we go. >> wow, it's like skittles in hell. i love that. very exciting. guillermo stop it now. all right, what is next? >> i always wanted to make a hovercraft. tonight is our night. i want to show you what we got.

>> wow. it's so unimpressive. should i sit in it? so here's how this works. you basically have -- it's a pretty simple design actually. plywood here. in the back there's a leaf blower. underneath that there's a tarp that has holes in it. that little thing will give enough hair. >> jimmy: i don't care how it works. just fire it up. >> there's one more thing you need to know. hovercrafts don't have brakes. that powers it out. you you're lifted off the

ground. and those control your thrust. >> you're right about the no brakes. >> it's dangerous. it's dangerous. all right, i'm going to turn it off. did anyone get killed? all right, we have one more item here. right? >> a little bit more physics. >> a blow of air and pressure

and teachers have done this demo with toilet paper and leaf blowers. but we're bumping it up little notch here. more leaf blowers? did you have a groupon for leaf blowers or something? >> we're going to blow some air over these. we're going to create a low pressure system. the air should get that toilet paper over here. >> can we light these on fire? >> we could try. here we go. quick countdown. little foot switch there. >> jimmy: just step on it? >> push it forward.

three, two, one. >> jimmy: oh, my god. you've done it again, science bob. science bob's website is sciencebob.com. you can find out everything you want about science. you can build one of these. we'll be right back.

>> jimmy: their new album, "such

hot blood," is out now. playing the song "the storm," the airborne toxic event. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ before it took you away i tried to think of something i could say ♪ ♪ i watch the shadows in the hall ♪ ♪ how they dance with the light and the white on the wall ♪ ♪ your face in the these pictures looks like a poem ♪ ♪ your eyes lit up like a river stone ♪ ♪ your body so much like a blanket thrown ♪ ♪ on a warm bed at night like a house in a storm ♪ ♪ then you walk right through the doorway ♪ ♪ you tell me you're here to stay the worst is gone ♪ ♪ my god how long have you been

this way ♪ ♪ i surprise myself sometimes the way the days unfold and this road unwinds ♪ ♪ you tell me you see it too and the miles feel like inches when i think of you ♪ ♪ it's been twenty-five days that i've been gone and twenty-five weeks since i've seen my home ♪ ♪ i spent twenty-five months chasing this song and all of this time i've been alone ♪ ♪ then you walk right through the doorway you tell me you're here to stay ♪ ♪ the worst is gone my god how long have you been this way ♪

♪ and you knew it all along i was unhappy all along ♪ ♪ and your body whole and warm telling me to just come home ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ♪ then you walk right through the doorway ♪ ♪ you tell me you're here to stay ♪ ♪ the worst is gone my god how long have you been this way ♪ ♪ and i only just learned how to