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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  May 13, 2013 11:35pm-12:36am PDT

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>> dickey: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- robert downey jr. from "star trek into darkness", simon pegg. and music from goo goo dolls. with cleto and the cletones. and now, thank you for your patronage. here's jimmy kimmel! [ applause ] ♪ >> that's very nice. thank you for watching. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for coming. i can see you're excited. it's friday night. it's time to -- it's not?
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oh, crap. well, it feels like friday night. robert downey jr. is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now, here's the thing. robert was originally scheduled to be here to promote "ironman 3" but since that's doing so well, he's switched focus and will now promote his new high-end goatee trimmers. also here, simon pegg of the "star treg" movie. i saw that last night. and we'll hear music from the goo goo dolls. or the goos as they're known to their friends. if you been watching the news, you know that a star has been born. a man named charles ramsey from cleveland, last night he was busy eating a big mac when he heard a woman screaming. he rushed over, kicked the door in and it turned out she had been missing for ten years and
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two other women in the house who had also been missing. but thanks in part to charles ramsey, everyone is now safe and out of the house and charles is being hailed a hero. >> he comes out the his backyard and plays with the dog kick it with his cars and motorcycles and go back in the house. he is someone you look and look away. you think he's not doing nothing but the average stuff, you see what i'm saying? nothing exciting about him. well, until today. >> what was the reaction on the girls' faces. i can't imagine to see the sunlight. >> i knew something was wrong when a little pretty white girl ran into a black man's arms. something was wrong here. dead give away. dead give away. dead give away. >> thank you for your time. >> she homeless or she got problems. that's the only reason she run to a black man. >> charles, thank you for being here, man. >> jimmy: how was that? there aren't too many people who would turn an interview about a kidnapping into "an evening at
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the apollo," but he pulled it off. charles has been doing a lot of interviews for a lot of reasons. he's a hero and he's a funny hero. she's a sensation on the internet. and believe it or not, there's already a cable tv special profiling him. >> this sunday on history -- one brave man. >> i was eating my mcdonald's. i go outside. i seen this girl going nuts. >> who looked into the eyes of danger. >> i barbecued with this dude. we eat ribs and whatnot and listened to salsa music. >> and said some crazy hilarious [ bleep ] >> i knew something was wrong when a pretty little white girl run into a black man's arms. something is wrong here. >> charles ramsey, the true american hero who said lots of hilarious [ bleep ] only on history. >> big testicles to pull this off, bro. >> jimmy: i don't think we' seen the last of charles. charles ramsey. nicely done. maybe he'll do "dancing with the
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stars" next season. tonight was elimination night. last night, the couples had to do two dances as part of special one too many dances night. the dancer i picked to win and bet on, zendaya got the first perfect score of the season. i correctly picked six of the last 11 winners of the show. and if i win this year, i might have to come out of the closet. now, it will be 7 out of 12 winners. which is -- yeah. tonight's fallen star was fallen and probably future bachelor, sean lowe. he had 42 out of 60. not only is that a shame, it's scary. if he goes more than two weeks without being on a reality show, he dies. meanwhile, elsewhere in the world of celebrity athletics, abc's much celebritied competitive diving show came to a splish tonight. the season finale of "splash"
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was tonight. it all came to a spectacular end tonight. here it is, the moment "splash's" first ever champion was crowned. >> the winner and the first ever "splash" champion is -- rory bushfield. congratulations, rory! you are the first ever "splash" champion. >> jimmy: wow. congratulations. who is rory bushfield? congratulations to rory who won a trophy and all the pool water he can drink. that's the prize. i'm sad to see "splash" go. i enjoyed it on a lot of levels. there seemed to be no rules whatsoever on the show, every week the rules changed. night we wishplash"d farewell.m.
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we put a tribute together, a highlight reel, if you will. please enjoy some of "splash's" greatest moments as we look back at the greatest celebrity diving show that ever was. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: maybe instead of moments i should have said greatest moment. but it was a great moment. i really hope we find a way to use louie andersson. he was the best part of that show. if "splash" and louie anderson taught us anything it's that you really don't have to wait until half an hour after eating to swim. a i would develop a show that is just an hour of louie anderson being pushed off something tall. abc has left a huge hole in our primetime lineup. this is how we fill holes with the wheels of reality show ideas.
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gentlemen -- oh, just one gentleman? yeah. there we are. on the left wheel we've got activities. the right wheel is participants. guillermo, go ahead and give those wheels a hard spin and we're going to come up with abc's next big hit show. guillermo spins the wheel. first activity is? pregnant with the sister wives. that's a little bit similar to the regular. do it one more time. spin harder this time. and our next show on abc tuesday nights is called -- pregnant trailer morons. as long as we have pregnant in there. we're stuck on pregnant. because you're so fertile. when you touch the wheel.
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>> yeah. >> i don't know if you're aware of this, but there was supposed to be a huge online cyberattack today. for weeks now a group of hackers including the group anonymous has been claiming on may 7 they would attack the websites of major banks and government agencies et cetera to protest american foreign policy. they called it operation usa. they said their targets included the website for the white house, the defense department, fbi, bank of america, and chase bank. anonymous said may 7 will be a day to remember. and yet somehow i have forgotten all of may 7 because nothing happened. none of the targets reported any problems with their sites, which may have had something to do with this video that they released. i guess the attention was to warn the world about the attack. but i don't -- well, have a look. >> hello, citizens of earth. we take responsibility for the crippling attacks upon your precious institutions. and more attacks will come, for we are always watching. we are legion.
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we do not forgive, and we do not forget. >> hey, sweetie. hot pockets. >> mom, get out of here! >> pepperoni, your favorite. >> thank you. oh, my god, mom, why are you doing this? >> don't stay up too long. >> i won't! oh god! it's so hot! >> jimmy: and that's why they call them -- and that's why they choose to be anonymous. here's some -- this is crazy. new jersey governor chris christie revealed back in february he had a secret lap band surgery, which explains why there's been so much food in new jersey lately. if you examine the pictures, you can see -- here he is right before the surgery, and here he is now. he actually might be getting fatter. worst ad for the lap band ever.
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weight loss from lap band is said to be slower from other procedures. typically patients lose one to two pounds a week. which means the governor could be down to a healthy weight in about 100 years. mother's day is on sunday. and here's a mother who might not be getting anything this year because of this little trick. >> hey, it's a magic trick, ready? i'm going to crack this egg on my head. ready? oh, do you want to try. >> yeah. >> ready? now there's no egg in it. when i say three. one, two, three, go. oh. >> jimmy: her breakfast in bed will be dumped on her head.
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we're going to take a break. when we come back, we're going to celebrate national teacher's day. it's national teacher's day. we'll celebrate that in the worst way possible. robert downey jr., simon pegg and music from goo goo dolls on the way. stay up. you'll love it. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] get email that lets you share, organize and stay up-to-date like never before.
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. >> jimmy: welcome back, robert downey, jr, simon pegg and the goo goo dolls are still to come. yesterday, for the first time ever, the drug company pfizer started selling viagra on their website, just in time for mother's day, i guess.
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you still have to have a prescription to get it, but now you can get it in the mail. i don't know. call me old fashioned but i think there is something nice about being judged by a pharmacist at cvs. pfizer said they're doing this to cut down on the sale of counterfeit viagra. they're promoting it in a different way. >> congratulations, you won! make your manhood huge, huge, huge. genuine pfizer online viagra will make you a big time sex machine. online viagra is fast, easy and 100% not a scam. just type this link into your browser. it is not a virus. to order, send your money by western union to pfizer's real official address for all online viagra orders. buy now, don't delay. this is 100 real. order at your own risk. pfizer will send e-mails to
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everyone in your address book. pills actually tictacs. >> jimmy: this is quite a story. this happened in illinois. a woman was arrested and charged with dui. her name is erin james. police say she blew almost twice the legal limit on the breathalyzer. when they brought her to the station, she told the officers she had been drinking to celebrate the fact that she was getting her driver's license back from her last dui. because she got a dui at her no more dui party. sadly she was too drunk to appreciate the irony. the rule should be if you get one dui and your license is taken away for a year. and two duis you have to ride a unicycle everywhere you go for the rest of your life. today is national teacher's day. do we have any teachers? this was started in 1953 to salute the teachers that inspire, challenge and changed us for the better which seems like a very nice gesture until you realize we also have national dghnut day to
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but i'll never forget my first grade teacher, her name was mrs. antinov said to me, she said jimmy, put your pants back on or i'm calling your mother. and look at me now, i wear pants almost everywhere i go. thank you mrs. antinov. each of us owes a debt to our teachers, but none more than the men and women who stand outside our theatre on hollywood boulevard dressed up as characters from tv and movie. today we gave them a chance to say thank you to the favorite teachers from their lives. >> superman, tell us about a teacher who was influential in your life? >> would be pamela, when i was about 8 years old. she had us on a point system. for every 10 points, we would get a gold star and redeem them for prizes. >> what was your best subject? >> my best subject was sex ed.
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>> what did you minor in? >> science. >> i have a science question for you. you fly around. please answer that. >> name the planet that is closest to our sun. that would be venus. >> cat woman has there been any teacher influential in your life. >> yes. mrs. mcginnity, my english teacher. she's the only one i remember her name. >> what was your best subject? >> i have to say english because of that. but i was pretty good in art. >> let's ask you an art question. >> okay. >> there we go. who painted the sistine chapel. >> leonardo da vinci? is that close? maybe? in the ballpark. >> it is not leonardo da vinci.
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>> tell me about a teacher influential in your life. >> mr. key, my history teacher. influential guy, absolutely. >> what did you like about him? >> he made the class fun. it was not my best subject but a lot of fun. >> let's ask you a history question. >> okay. >> who is buried in grant's tomb? >> first name, please? >> lou grant? >> let's go with lou grant. >> is there a teacher you would like to thank. >> yes, mrs. fleming my english teacher. i love english. she taught me how to spell. . >> would we get you to spell something for us? would you spell the word
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crustacean? >> crustacean, okay. >> could you use it in a sentence, please? >> yes. i like to put things together and to go to a crustacean. >> anything you would like to say to mrs. fleming? >> thanks, mrs. fleming. you taught me a lot of english. i love it. >> jimmy: we have a good show tonight. simon pegg is here. we have music from the goo goo dolls. we'll be right back with robert downey jr. portions of looifb "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by applebee's.
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>> hi there. tonight on the program, an extremely talented actor and writer, starting may 17, you can see him as scottie in the new j.j. abrams epic "star trek: into darkness." simon pegg is with us tonight. the music from their album comes out june 11.
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it's called "magnetic" goo goo dolls from the sony outdoor stage. >> tomorrow night zoe saldana will be here, as will bill simmons from espn, and we'll have music from fitz and the tantrums. and on thursday tobey maguire, kerry washington, and music from will.i.am. join us those nights too. our first guest tonight is a golden globe-winning and two time oscar-nominated actor. his latest movie made more money this weekend than we owe china "iron man 3" is in theaters now. please welcome robert downey jr. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> how you doing? >> jimmy: that's when you know you -- you really hit the
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jackpot with a movie is when you start throwing expensive pairs of sunglasses into the audience. that is something else. >> yep. it's just my way of giving back, you're welcome. >> jimmy: congratulations on the huge success of the movie. >> thank you. >> jimmy: did you even think it would be this successful? >> well, i'm an optimistic person so i tend to think anything i do is going to be amazing. but that's probably just compensatory because you know, life is difficult and this industry is unpredictable. you know. >> jimmy: you have great self-esteem. i mean, that's for sure. >> well, i have migrated from no self-esteem to low self-esteem. >> jimmy: it seems like you migrated from no self steam to tremendous amounts of self esteem. >> if i'm not on my team, why should anybody else be? >> jimmy: that makes sense, but
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not many people think like that. do you feel like when you sit down to play a game, do you feel like you're going to win? >> no, that's a game. >> jimmy: that's a competition between another person. >> right. that's a competition. i think when you're slowing things down and you have a camera and you have an afternoon to get one or two things right, you can really control it. kind of like you and your show. >> jimmy: not really. >> it's not dissimilar. >> jimmy: there is a similarity when i do a show i know who the guests are and i think it could be a good show but you are at the mercy of the audience because they might not care for it. this happens to be a very good audience here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] it helps to do that. they're proud of themselves. >> that's the key. particularly with these super
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hero movies i realized pretty early on, the audience really drives the success of the movies. that's what we've been chasing. marvel has been really smart. they really include what the folks at comicon think and who's really excited about this casting announcement. i think it's really the birth of interactive entertainment. and big scale movies. >> jimmy: they pay close attention to the hard-core fans. they don't say we're going to make a movie for a lot of people. they first look at the hard core fans and then everyone else seems to follow. you got a free t-shirt out of it. >> i did. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you spent a lot of last month traveling around the world promoting "ironman 3." there you are in china. this was your birthday? >> yes, it was. yes, that was -- that's a guinness book world record for
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most signatures on a birthday card. >> jimmy: is that been verified by the guinness people? >> a guinness guy came out. i'm not just throwing wild haymaker pitches here. >> jimmy: how do you know? >> i think their penmanship is astounding. >> jimmy: what are you eating here? >> eating. all right, i'm going to say that's some sort of crab apple. >> jimmy: is it really? >> i remember, if you can tell by the expression on my face, i'm thoroughly enjoying it. >> jimmy: i had a great time in china. i can see you had a lot of fun. this can't be china. where was this? >> is that from the tour? >> jimmy: that was from the tour. >> that is me in munich, germany wearing lederhosen. i found out later it means leather pants. >> jimmy: not as exciting that way.
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>> us americans aren't as dumb as they think we are. >> jimmy: and finally. this is back at the new york stock exchange. you rang the bell. >> iraq the -- i rang the bell. >> jimmy: is it a little weird they sent ironman to be with ironman? >> what's always weird is that when they send somebody in the suit with you, you just wondering are they going to fall down these stairs? i always feel a little bit sympathetic. >> jimmy: when you're shooting an ironman movie are you ever really in the suit. you could get a day laborer to do that, right? >> you mean pick somebody up by the coffee shop at the corner? >> jimmy: somebody out in front of theater. >> i think some skill is required. >> jimmy: but we don't see your face. is that you in there? >> let me put it this way. if the helmet closes and there's an action scene i'm clearly at a day orspa something.
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mani-pedi. will there be an "ironman 4"? will there be a fourth movie? the movie is so successful. >> you have this kind of weekend and instantly monday morning you think there is going to be the next announcement but the economy really is weird. and i was thinking if we were going to do another one we would maybe call it "ironman 4." >> jimmy: oh, that's a good idea. love that title. >> seems like a logical progression. i wasn't getting a lot of support so i decided to, you know, buddies told me there's a kick starter thing. so as of now, if you want to see a sequel, please go to kickstarter.com and please put in your vote. >> jimmy: so you're raising money? wow. all right. well, i will kick something into that.
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>> everything helps. >> jimmy: you can never have too many ironmans. we're going to take a break. robert downey jr. is with us. >> jimmy kimmel live concert series is brought to you by sony. the new blackberry z10 with time shift and blackberry balance. built to keep you moving. see it in action at blackberry.com/z10 our seafood dinner for two for just 25 dollars! first get salad and cheddar bay biscuits. then choose from a variety of seafood entrées. plus choose either an appetizer or a dessert to share. offer ends soon at red lobster! where we sea food differently.
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>> how many in the air? >> 13, sir.
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>> how many can i carry? >> four, sir. [ screaming ] slow down, slow down, relax. what's your name? heather? [ screaming ] >> jimmy: that is robert downey jr. [ applause ] >> jimmy: this is exciting. we just got some figures in and robert's kickstarter campaign we already have $1.8 billion. >> thank you! >> jimmy: wow. so now you have to do another one. >> i don't know is that enough? >> jimmy: would you think about doing another one? >> yeah. i mean, it's been one of the -- you know, the best things in my life professionally. and people really like it. >> jimmy: i think you should beat it to death.
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just until everyone is just sick of it. keep going. >> i get to give free sunglasses away. >> jimmy: i would never take that ironman costume off. they would bury me in it. that's how i go out. >> that's one approach. >> jimmy: ben kingsley plays a great villain. i don't want to give anything away in case there's anyone who hasn't seen it. he's terrific. >> he has a great character arc, but he's also such a playful guy. so he's kind of like this arch nemesis but he's a -- he's very funny. and so we had to really bridge the gap between -- you don't necessarily want him getting the big laughs in the movie when he's supposed to be scaring us. >> jimmy: right. it's weird to see a guy who you think of as gandhi in that kind of a role. funny gandhi. >> or evil gandhi. >> jimmy: it's national teacher appreciation day.
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i don't know if you saw that. and one of our hollywood boulevard ironmen had thoughts about one of his teachers. do you have a teacher in your life that was remarkable to you in some way? whether good, bad? >> i'll just talk about the good ones. i had two. mr. jellesum was my dramatic arts teacher in high school. and mr. hunter was my history teacher which is always tough at least it was for me. but he was great in upstate new york. >> jimmy: do you keep in touch with these people? >> not in the slightest. i don't want them to feel any responsibility for the impact they had on me. >> jimmy: it could go either way. >> but seeing how i have a platform. thank you, mr. hunter, if you're
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still around and thank you mr. jellesum. >> jimmy: and maybe send them a pair of sunglasses, who knows. >> jimmy: "iron man 3" is in theaters right now. as if you didn't know. we'll be right back with simon pegg. ♪ ♪
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>> jimmy: the goo goo dolls on the way. you know our next guest from the movies "hot fuzz," "shaun of the dead," two "mission: impossibles" and now a pair of "star treks" too. "star trek into darkness" opens may 17th. please say hello to simon pegg. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hang on to those, huh? >> i like those glasses. they're expensive and i'm not robert downey jr. >> jimmy: you're not ironman.
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but you're scottie. which is pretty good. >> i like it, yeah. >> jimmy: it must be great to be scotty, a character that we have known all our lives. >> i like it, yes. it's amazing to be -- i've watched that character since i was a little kid. to suddenly be him, when people say beam me up, scotty, that's me. i can't say that any more. i have to say beam me up, me. it's weird. >> jimmy: it's funny that is his name because his name is scotty and he is scottish. it would be like if he's from mexico and his name was mexicany. >> not imaginative. >> jimmy: and that accent, is that authentic? i really don't know the difference. >> jimmy dillon who played it before was canadian. i'm english, but my father-in-law -- one half of my family is scottish. so i base it on my father-in-law. >> jimmy: does he know this? >> he's very proud of it. he tries to make me put things into "star trek."
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he gives me words to say. >> jimmy: he does? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what does he get you? >> i got one in which is hold on, wee man. which is hold on, small person. and i tried to get wee scanner and what was the other one? and get in the clogie, which is a toilet. but j.j. abrams will come up to me during shooting and say simon, we have to understand what you're saying. and i have to kind of reins in a little bit. >> jimmy: that is a good point. you have -- and i -- by the way, i thought the movie came out great. >> i'm so pleased with this. >> jimmy: the villain in the movie, i don't even know i can say the name of the character he plays it would give something away. >> it's hard to say his real name, let alone the character he plays. >> jimmy: on set do the good guys and bad guys steer clear of each other? >> no, it's like a big sickingly happy family on the set. >> jimmy: even with the newcomers?
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>> the new cumber. benedict was a new-cumber. there was one practical joke played on set, which was elaborate. it became the production values on the became as big as "star trek" itself. we played a place called nif, the national ignition facility. they're trying to discover nuclear fusion. that's what they're trying to do for reals. >> jimmy: you know how to speak to me. >> i know how to pitch it. and this is like this, it's guarded by 400 security men. it's really top secret. but as soon as they heard "star trek" wanted to shoot there. all the nerds who work there are like yeah, come in, come in, it will be fine. you don't need a badge, just come in. we went in there and shot. we put a lot of the scientists in redshirts. you can see them engineering in the movie. you can see them because they're all taking their picture with each other. >> jimmy: they're taking
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pictures in the movie? >> they were so excited to have the red shirts on. you can see them in the shot in the back just waving to their mothers. one day, i was with chris pine in makeup who played captain kirk. i said you've got your neutron cream on, right? he said what do you mean? i said there's an ambient radiation in the air that can give you a sunburn. you need to wear this special cream. he is like, oh, really? i got him going for two hours. eventually i said he was going to turn into the a lizard which gave it away. then we got andrew chekov going for half a day. but this time we got the makeup involved. they started making pots of neutron cream. so the whole crew was doing this every half hour to get the ions out of our fingers and stuff.
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by which time the props department had knocked up neutron gum in packets of neutron gum. and benedict came on set and we told him he had to put this cream on. he had all these dots all over his face. and i would take him up to j.j. to talk and j.j. hated it. he couldn't keep a straight face. and we were doing a scene where benedict had to sort of -- quite a long exposition, a long speech. he had to walk as well. it's tough to do two things at once as an actor. and he kept doing it wrong. he said i'm sorry about that, he said i was really tired. and the ions in the air were really getting to me. no, no, no they weren't. >> jimmy: so how did he wind up finding out? >> we had this -- chris and i -- he was in so deep. he believed in it so much he started to get a headache. we needed an end game.
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we wrote out a form that we have to wear this cream and also that it is completely fictitious and i am an idiot. he read it and signed it and gave it back to production. we gave him a huge out and he didn't take it. >> jimmy: now you have to kill him. >> shoot to the back of the head. at the end of the day, i said to tommy, tell me to read out the thing out loud. and then we'll have him. so i started to read it and j.j. says benedict, you read it because you have a sonorous voice. you read it. so he started to read this thing like this, i benedict cumberbatch and i am an idiot -- what! >> jimmy: you guys had fun and made a great movie. simon pegg, everybody! we'll be right back with goo goo dolls!
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>> the jimmy kimmel live concert series is brought to you by sony.
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>> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by sony. >> jimmy: their new album,"magnetic," comes out june 11th. here with the song, "rebel beat," goo goo dolls! ♪ ♪ we keep heading in the same direction you've become my own reflection ♪ ♪ is that your soul that you're trying to protect i always hope that we would intersect, yeah ♪ ♪ you need time to cope and time to heal time to cry ♪ ♪ if it's what you feel life can hurt with hen it gets too real i can hold you up ♪ ♪ when it's hard to deal alive, alive alive is all i wanna feel tonight, tonight ♪ ♪ i need to be where you are i need to be where you are hey you, look around can you hear that ♪ ♪ noise it's a rebel sound we
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got nowhere else to go and when the sun goes down ♪ ♪ and we fill the streets you're gonna dance 'til the morning to the rebel's beat ♪ ♪ you can take everything from me cause this is all i need ♪ you got it? ♪ you know that life is ♪ like a ticking clock nobody knows when it's gonna stop, yeah before i'm gone ♪ ♪ i need to touch someone with a word with a kiss with a decent song, yeah ♪ ♪ and it gets lonely when you live out loud when the truth that you seek isn't in this crowd ♪ ♪ you better find your voice better make it loud we've gotta burn that fire ♪ ♪ or we'll just burn out alive, alive alive is all i wanna feel tonight, tonight ♪ ♪ i need to be where you are i need to be where you are hey you, look around can you hear that ♪ ♪ noise it's a rebel sound we
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got nowhere else to go and when the sun goes down ♪ ♪ and we fill the streets you're gonna dance 'til the morning to the rebel's beat ♪ ♪ you can take everything from me oh, yeah you can take ♪ ♪ everything from me 'cause this is all i need 'cause we are free tonight and everything's alright ♪ ♪ put your arms around me baby, show me how to move you 'cause there's no worries there's no cares ♪ ♪ feel the sound that's everywhere we'll take what's ours for once ♪ ♪ and, baby, run like hell hey you, look around can you hear that noise it's a rebel sound ♪ ♪ we got nowhere else to go hey you, look around can you hear
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that noise it's a rebel sound ♪ ♪ we got nowhere else to go and when the sun goes down and we fill the streets ♪ ♪ you're gonna dance 'til the morning to the rebel's beat you can take ♪ ♪ everything from me oh, yeah you can take everything from me ♪ ♪ cause this is all i need yeah, this is all i need ♪ ♪ this is all i need >> jimmy: i want to thank robert downey jr., simon pegg. i want to apologize to matt damon. tomorrow night zoe saldana, bill simmons and music from fitz & the tantrums. this is their new album. playing us off the air with

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