>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live: game night," presented by skype. tonight, seth rogen and nba skype scavenger hunt. plus, kobe bryant versus a 2-year-old. and now, in the paint, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. hello there, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for joining us here for our game two "game night" special. tonight the san antonio spurs visit the miamt,t is it, sound machine? no, the heat. that's right. they named it after what the old people there complain about all day. you know, heat fans wear matching white t-shirts to the games, which to me is a weird thing.

white shirts at a -- it's the nba finals. it's not a family portrait at sears. [ laughter ] the heat and spurs also have two of the most unusual nba mascots. the heat mascot is named burnie. b-u-r-n-i-e. but the person who came up with burnie had to be high, right? i mean -- [ laughter ] it's like who's on fire, but instead of a beak he has a yellow basketball. i think this should be the heat mascot, the tan mom. right? talk about burning. we might be past burning. and if you think burnie is weird, this is the spurs' coyote. the spurs' coyote is the only team mascot with a meth problem. [ laughter ] here's a picture of the coyote with a kid. [ laughter ] is the purpose of the spurs' coyote to give children nightmares? because if it is, he's doing a good job. tonight is a big night for television. the game is on opposite of both the season finale of "game of thrones" and the tony awards, which is a serious dilemma for the one person on earth who's into all three of those things. we've got quite a show for you tonight. from the new movie "this is the end," seth rogen is here with us. [ cheers and applause ]

seth, as you know, is a writer, director, producer and an actor. seth is the world's most productive stoner. and after that, the amazing toddler known as "trick shot titus" returns to face yet another worthy foe. titus is the star of a very popular youtube video in which he dominates a little basketball hoop. so, we invited him to hollywood to face off against the nba's best. titus played shaquille o'neal on thursday night. not only did he beat shaq, he beat him 8-0. i don't know this for a fact, but titus is already being scouted by the kardashians, so -- [ laughter ] but tonight, titus takes on the black mamba himself, kobe bryant, who does not like to lose -- [ cheers and applause ] -- especially to children under three. so that will be fun. but before we get to that -- you know, nba players and personalities tend to be very active on twitter. and while twitter does give them an opportunity to connect with their fans, it also opens them up to a lot of criticism. some people have no problem tweeting terrible things to celebrities, and it can hurt. so, tonight, we asked some of

the folks working in and around the nba to read some of the most unpleasant tweets ever written about them for a special nba edition of "mean tweets." ♪ >> "what's the difference between ron artest and metta world peace? nothing. they are both huge pieces of [ bleep ]." [ laughter ] whatever, man. >> "has anyone noticed that chris paul has michael jackson's original nose?" [ laughter ] >> "is it me or does rajon rondo look like that turtle named franklin on nick jr.?" [ laughter ] >> "bill simmons looks like the type of guy who will watch you sleeping." [ laughter ] >> "suck my duck, matt barnes." i think you meant to say [ bleep ]. spell it right. >> "bob costas is a vampire. mark my words."

>> "blake griffin is still ugly as [ bleep ]." >> oh, wow. who's that from? >> so -- >> "andre iguodala sucks gazelle [ bleep ]." [ laughter ] >> "remember when kobe bry used to dunk and it wasn't a surprise? now every time he dunks, it's a big deal." yeah, i remember that. >> "greg anthony looks like a young person in costume as a grandfather." [ laughter ] okay. >> "you in that buick commercial. you know you don't fit in that buick." that supposed to be mean? >> "deandre jordan doesn't look like he knows how to read." well, i just read that you [ bleep ] idiot. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: sorry, guys. tonight on the show, seth rogen is here. trick shot titus takes on kobe bryant. and when we come back,

kris humphries from the brooklyn nets goes head to head with rudy gay of the raptors in a special nba edition of our skype scavenger hunt. so, find your way back. ♪ [ male announcer ] moving object detection. ♪

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>> jimmy: welcome back. we have a good show for you tonight. from the very funny new movie "this is the end," seth rogen is here. and then, a 2-year-old basketball sensation. titus ashby faces the greatest challenge in his life, the lakers great kobe bryant, in "clash of the titus." but before we get to all of that, from time to time, we play a game here on the show called the skype scavenger hunt. we skype with people in their homes, and we have them race to find things that might be laying around the house. so far we've had very few injuries. usually we play with viewers. but tonight, since this is a "game night" show, our contestants are nba players. and joining us now, from the toronto raptors by way of his mother's house in baltimore, maryland, lottery pick and all-time steals leader for the memphis grizzles, rudy gay is with us. hello, rudy. [ cheers and applause ] now, rudy, with that last name, i'm sure you've heard all the

jokes. [ laughter ] >> i may have some more because you said i'm at my mom's house. >> jimmy: oh, you're not at your mom's. i was told you're were at your mother's house. is that not true? >> it's true. >> jimmy: oh, it is true. okay, all right. all right. and also, we have tonight, from the brooklyn nets, one of the original brooklyn nets. kris humphries is with us from his home in miami. [ cheers and applause ] hello, kris. >> what's up? >> jimmy: kris, you probably heard a lot of jokes too, right? [ laughter ] >> oh, no. no jokes. >> jimmy: we are not here to fool around, gentlemen. we are here to get down to business. shake virtual hands because it is time to play the "skype scavenger hunt." whoever comes back first with it wins. all right? all right. there they go. [ cheers and applause ] rudy seems like he knows what he's going to bring back.

by the way, i don't think rudy's couch is worth more than $1,000, but -- all right. oh, here comes rudy. he's got something. he's ahead of kris. rudy, what do you have? >> jimmy: oh, car keys, ah. and kris, what do you have? [ laughter ] all right. i'm not sure. we're going to have to get a ruling from the officials on that one. next up for round two, bring back a pet or a child. a pet or a child. bonus points if you bring more than -- all right. good. [ cheers and applause ] rudy, don't even bother. rudy, come back. oh, rudy's got -- where's that pet, in your sink? [ laughter ] all right. okay, gentlemen -- what happened to kris? is he -- oh. that round goes to kris. your final challenge is to break something valuable in your home.

whoever breaks the more valuable item -- yes, that's right, rudy. [ laughter ] and it's rudy's mom's house, too. [ laughter ] all right, kris is scanning the area. rudy is looking around. rudy knows he's going to get his head broken, too. it's nice looking at their places really. it gives you a real insight into the life of an nba star. no, no. okay, all right. all right, let's see what rudy has there, and we'll decide if it is indeed valuable. what do you have there, rudy? a vitamix blend -- >> it was already broken. >> jimmy: i don't think you could even break that. it's made of plastic, isn't it? >> no, it was already broke. >> jimmy: oh. that doesn't count. what is kris doing? i think he's hungry. kris is making himself a snack right now. kris, what do you have there? >> i got some gluten free bread. >> jimmy: you could win this if you -- oh, you broke -- well, you break bread. that's a nice thing to do between people. all right. all right, i'm adding up the scores, and it seems the winner

is kris humphries. congratulations, kris. tell him what he wins, dicky. >> dicky: jimmy, for his big win tonight, kris humphries wins -- a basketball. >> jimmy: oh, wow! i hope you don't already have one of those. thank you, r will be right back seth rogen. ,, [ female announcer ] why go to jcpenney to find a gift for father's day?

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>> jimmy: still to come, trick shot titus and kobe bryant. our guest tonight is a strong, virile, curly tressed canadian whom you know from many films. his directorial debut is called "this is the end."

>> i hid in a drainpipe for days, like three or four. i don't even know how many. and then, i stopped hearing people, and i started hearing growling noises. >> out there in your travels -- uh, did you see anything that you would describe as apocalyptish? >> i mean, no. but i would say it's completely obvious what's going on here. i mean, it's a zombie invasion. >> i'm the one who said it's a zombie -- >> you said zombies? >> i said zombies the whole time. >> you said zombies? >> i said zombies. >> what a second -- >> jimmy: "this is the end" opens in theaters wednesday. please welcome seth rogen. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for being here. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: this is our special nba primetime show. >> it is. >> jimmy: do you have a horse in this race? is there a team that you root for? >> i literally don't know who's playing. [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: are you not a basketball fan? are you a sports fan? >> it's basketball? that's basketball that's happening right now? >> jimmy: it is basketball, yeah. yeah, the orange thing with the lines on it. >> is that what that is? >> jimmy: that is what it is, yeah. >> no, i'm not a big sports fan really. >> jimmy: even canadian sports? you know, like hockey or -- >> no, i wish i did! i just don't! i'm such a nerd. i don't like it. i just don't care where the thing goes. i just don't. [ laughter ] i wish i did. i don't. i watch people care. i'm like, i wish i cared. >> jimmy: your friends are interested in it? >> my friends love it! and i wish i could participate. they literally, like, ice me out of sports conversations. like, they don't even tell me what sport they're talking about. like, "oh, what are you guys talking about?" they're just like, "sports. don't worry about it." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you fake your way through these conversations? >> i used to try to fake my win in. i'd be like, "oh, yeah! that guys great at -- his average is good." i figure that's just a gooovera. thing to say, overall. guy's got a good overall average, right, in his sport of choice. >> jimmy: you were in a commercial during the super bowl with lebron james. >> yes, i was. >> jimmy: so are you maybe hoping he might win? did you hit it off with him? >> he plays basketball?

>> jimmy: he does. yeah, yeah. >> okay, good. [ laughter ] i didn't meet him. he wasn't there. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> no, in the commercial, he's on a screen. and we make a joke in the commercial. he doesn't want to leave his house. he'll just do it on the screen. and that was true. he didn't want to leave his house, and so -- >> jimmy: was he supposed to be there with you? >> i thought he was going to be there. they said, lebron james is going to be there. and i don't even know sports, but i know he's famous. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> and so, i was excited. i know he gets his hair cut in that one commercial. i was like -- >> jimmy: oh, yeah. sure. >> the guy from the haircut ad. i love that guy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so you guys are very close. >> very close. >> jimmy: you know, i saw your movie, and i thought it was great. i loved it. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: you directed it and you act in it and you play yourself in it. >> i'm the cuter ben affleck. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: tell everybody what it is about because it's a very interesting idea. >> it's about a bunch of famous actors play themselves, and they are attending a party at james franco's house. so, it's like me and jonah hill and danny mcbride. and michael cera's in it and

mindy kaling and emma watson is in it. and then, the apocalypse happens and a lot of people die. and the surviving people barricade themselves inside franco's house and try to survive the end of the world basically. it's one of those movies. >> jimmy: and it's very foolish, and it's very funny. >> it's ridiculous, yes. >> jimmy: but you shot it in new orleans. >> yeah. >> jimmy: which seems like a bad idea with that group of people in particular. >> i'm amazed they all survived. i made them all promise me, like, live until july! that was it. >> jimmy: because you have to be kind of the dad in this situation. >> it's crazy. yeah, i kind of had to be responsible. and if any of them died, we would have had to digitally replace them, which is very expensive. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right. >> and, so -- it would have been a nightmare. but new orleans is crazy. you can drink in public. like, you can just drink anywhere you want, which is crazy. like, it's -- like, you realize, like, how much more you drink when you're allowed to drink anywhere. [ laughter ] like, you'll just be at a restaurant and be like, "should i have another bottle of wine?" it's like, "i can just take it with me as i leave." and there's literally drive-thru

daiquiri stands in new orleans that you -- >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> and they give you daiquiris in your car while you're driving. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it is a miracle that you returned from this particular trips. >> it's literally crazy that everyone -- no one who died in the movie died in real life. >> jimmy: you did something interesting to market the movie. you asked james franco to paint an advertisement, a mural. >> we did, yeah. >> jimmy: and how did this -- this is your idea? >> well, they said they have these walls that were available for painting. they were going to paint ads. and i was like, "james franco will paint those walls for us." like, if anyone will paint those, it's james franco. >> jimmy: and here is a photograph of -- >> and so he painted a mural for the movie. >> jimmy: yeah. i like the -- [ cheers and applause ] he went a little extreme with craig robinson on the end there. >> a little, yeah. he went dark. >> jimmy: by the way, he didn't do you any favors either. >> yeah, exactly, that's -- [ laughter ]

that's kind of how it is. it's not that different. from some angles, that's pretty accurate. >> jimmy: you seem to have -- you know what? i think you may have -- >> look at my arm. >> jimmy: you may have a tumor here. >> goiter. >> jimmy: well, the movie came out really great. you did a great job with it. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's called "this is the end." >> thank you. >> jimmy: it opens in theaters on wednesday. go see it. seth rogen, everybody! we'll be right back with trick shot titus versus kobe bryant. ♪ ♪

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>> jimmy: this is "jimmy kimmel live: game night," and it should be a good one. you're about to find out what happens when a 2-year-old basketball hustler takes on one of the greatest players in the history of the nba. please welcome, from the los angeles lakers, 15-time all-star, kobe bryant. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i hope you're ready for this. this will be a tough test for you and for any man, really. kobe's opponent tonight,

accompanied by his father, joseph, the pride of derby, kansas. a real-life diaper dandy. here he is, trick shot titus ashby. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: kobe, titus. joseph, titus, kobe, it is time now for clash of the titus. >> clash of the titus! brought to you by state farm. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, now come over here, gentlemen. this is how it's going to work. behind you, we've got some hoops here. we got my cousin sal there. each of these hoops is set at exactly each shooter's height. so, kobe's rim stands at 6'6". titus' rim is at his height, which is 3 foot, no inches. [ laughter ] and titus is going to shoot from six feet away, kobe will be 18 feet away.

each of you will have 30 seconds, and whoever makes the most shots wins. it's very simple. now, titus' dad, you're going to feed the balls to titus. >> yep. >> jimmy: kobe, i am adopting you for tonight. >> all right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i will be your dad, and i will feed the balls to you. are you guys ready to do this? [ cheers and applause ] all right, son, i'm very proud of you. cousin sal has the whistle. >> i was out back scouting him, man. >> jimmy: you were scouting him? of course you were scouting him. all right, titus, how do you feel right now? are you happy? >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay, good, all right. [ laughter ] all right. let's see how happy he will be at the end of this 30 seconds. cousin sal? >> all right, 30 seconds on the clock. you ready? shoot.blows ] [ whistle blows ] >> jimmy: there goes kobe. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: kobe, you're going to have to pick up the pace if

you're going to beat this kid. [ cheers and applause ] there you go. [ buzzer sounds ] all right. kobe has four. all right. wow, that was a tough round, kobe. how do you feel right now? >> i was fouled. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, titus, would you like to step to the line? titus and his dad. [ cheers and applause ] kobe, come on over. you can stand right there. titus, are you ready to do this? >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you like to shoot basketballs? >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you think you can beat kobe? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you think -- will you conquer any man who stands in your way? [ cheers and applause ] all right, we'll take that as a yes. all right, cousin sal will put 30 seconds on the clock. >> all right, 30 seconds. i still can't get over how terrible he was. [ laughter ] ready, and -- [ whistle blows ] shoot!

>> jimmy: and here goes titus. he misses the first. [ cheers and applause ] oh, my goodness. we've got 15 seconds. oh, there he goes. and he's got three. he's got four. he's got -- and the last -- we have a tie! we have a titus! wow. well, congratulations to both of you. [ cheers and applause ] good job, buddy. very good job. >> can you give five? >> jimmy: why didn't you shoot like that against me? [ laughter ] well, kobe has a special gift for titus. guillermo, bring out the gift. oh, there you go. [ cheers and applause ] put them right there, man. all right, let's put those on him. these are -- [ laughter ]

just what you need to really make it to the nba. oh, is that hurting you, buddy? >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay. >> can you walk a little? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you want to walk with them? all right. oh, there you go. perfect. thank you, kobe bryant. thank you, titus. thank you, joseph. good night, everybody. ,,,,