from hollywood, it is "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, lil wayne, from the mindy project, chris messina, and now, sit back and relax, here is jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: hello there. hi, everybody, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of your show. thank you for watching, thank you for joining us here tonight in beautiful hollywood, california.

hey, i have a question for you. who is ready to have their every erotic fantasy fulfilled? looks like you have your work cut out for you tonight, guillermo. game three of the finals from the san antonio spurs and the heat took place in texas tonight. but the big stories are from football. this morning, the new england patriots signed tim tebow, apparently they needed a virgin to sacrifice to the football gods. tim tebow fit the bill perfectly. and chad ocho cinco, the judge agreeing to a plea deal that allowed him to do community service instead of a plea deal. but right before the deal, he thanked his lawyer by patting him on the butt. and this happened. >> an excellent attorney, he did a great job for you sir.

do you have any questions? do you have questions for him? the whole courtroom is laughing. >> i don't think he meant -- i don't think he meant -- judge, i think he is just -- >> i don't think anything is funny about this. this is not a joke. >> i didn't do it as a joke. >> everybody in the courtroom was laughing. i am not accepting the plea negotiations. >> well, she is a lot of fun huh? she sent him right to jail, let me get straight, he didn't get jail time for the domestic violence or the probation violation, he gets jail for patting his lawyer on the butt. that will be a fun what are you in for with his cell mates? so ocho cinco is in the clinco,

that may have been the most embarrassing thing since he played football for the cincinnati bengals. in march, forbes magazine put out their list, the annual list of the world's richest people, and one of the people was a saudi arabian prince, he is furious about it, forbes estimated his net worth at around $20 billion, and he claims he is worth $30 billion, now he is suing forbes, i love the premise, say i'm more rich or i'll sue you. you think he can just buy forbes and rank things number one, the creepy thing is, that is his toilet. that is right. nothing makes me want to buy a prius more than this. the prince is conscious about his image, he was an twitter, this is one of his recent tweets, this is a real tweet. i mean, it is kind of funny, the

prince filed suit in the uk, even though forbes is a u.s. magazine, today he held a press conference to defend himself against a number of other lies being spread about him. >> people of the world, i would like to clarify a few important facts, i am the most handsome man who ever lived, more than robert pattinson, i can run a minute in a mile, and solve a rubix cube in less than a minute. my homemade chili is better than anyone's, ask anybody, i invented the pizza, before there was just pizza and bagels, but now there is pizza on a bagel. death to israel. now, if you will excuse me, my invisible lamborghini is here. beep, beep, boom, boom, beep,

beep, boom. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm glad he cleared that up. you can hardly blame him for being upset. speaking of princes, tmz got footage of justin bieberving miley cyrus's house, now they found him in this -- never spot him in spots, even his car is an animal, this kid. last night, abc, we had a dramatic episode of the bachelorette, they say it is dramatic, one of the men sent home was brian, who she confronted after finding out he already had a girlfriend. >> my past relationship, there was companionship there, there was certainly friendship. >> not all -- >> do you know how she felt

about it? because she is actually here. >> stephanie? >> hi, i am brian's girlfriend. >> oh, geez. >> oh, indeed. that is what the kids call aco . i don't know how they found brian's girlfriend or what made him think he could get away with cheating on her on national television, or wore that shirt, but that is what makes television so wonderfully entertaining to watch. >> we had a relationship in the past. >> it was in the present, i tried to break up with you a day before you went on the show. you told me you just needed time to get things sorted out. here i thought you were doing something good for yourself, why would you do this to me? and -- all of our friends, our family, donovan, don't you care about donovan, my son, that you have been a role model to?

>> jimmy: no, not really -- let's go back to you breaking up with him part of the conversation, isn't that a key point? let's use that moment as a dividing line and go on from there. so brian went home, and then it was time for maybe the best -- i've seen many episodes of the bachelor, the bachelorette, maybe the best scene ever. look, oh, wait a minute, that is a dentist from garden grove. you see what we're seeing here is a youtube video of a woman giving a rabbit -- which i hope is her rabbit -- some kind of a romantic spa treatment, and the rabbit, he looks like he loves it. this might be one of the ten strangest things i have ever seen in my life. hey, easter is over, the bunny has to treat himself right, and then they ate him. actor peter mahue who played

chewbaca, he was flying home from the denver comic con, when the tsa stopped him, you see peter there sitting, that is his light saber, he should know you can't bring it through security. that is a wookie mistake, i guess he was upset, they said because of the unusual weight of the passenger's cane, a security officer alerted the supervisor, less than five minutes later the passenger and the cane were able to travel. meanwhile, yoda was able to sneak through with a quarter ounce of weed, no problem, it is kind of ridiculous they would stop chewbaca from carrying a light saber. >> it is a big deal, that man has no business carrying a light

saber okay? this is a weapon of a jedi knight, and chewbaca was not a jedi knight. >> but it was not actually a light saber, it was a cane. >> okay, then make it in form owe. >> jimmy: i feel like you're missing the point. >> no, you're missing the point, jimmy, come on, let's go. >> jimmy: are you crazy, dude? i'm sticking around for lil wayne. [ cheers and applause ] >> then you leave me no choice, my old friend. i deflected o-- >> you're dead. >> i'm not either. >> i shot you, you're deflected. you're dead -- since you're jedi, you're dead. >> jimmy: guys we should both probably go home, there is no bullets in the gun, no laser lights or anything. >> can you give us a ride home?

>> no, but you can use the phone in the green rooms to call your moms. >> all right. >> jimmy: but thank you for coming, it is nothing personal. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have to take a break, when we come back we'll play a fun game called "hit or miss," plus, music from jimmy eat world. ♪ ♪ ♪

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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back, i'm glad to have you, lil wayne, chris

messina, and music from jimmy eat world coming up. prime time, before the game, eastern, central time, and after the game in the west. you know, basketball is in my opinion one of the great american sports ever invented by a canadian. and since this country has been seized by basketball fever this week we thought it would be a good time to premier a new game. we set up a hoop on hollywood boulevard and invited this afternoon, a group of randomly selected pedestrians to try to make a free throw on that hoop. and our job as a studio audience, we'll see a pedestrian, introduce him or herself, and introduce whether or not we think they hit the shot or missed it. it is a game called "hit or miss." that is right. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i know it seems like a simple title, but it took a dozen writers a whole day to come up with that. all right, our first pedestrian? >> i am from aleppo, syria.

>> will you tell us one thing about yourself? >> i like to exercise my mind. >> great, take a shot. >> jimmy: all right, she likes to attend school and exercise her mind. all right, everyone is saying miss. she didn't miss, she did a pretty good job. all right, let's meet our next pedestrian. >> what is your name and where are you from? >> my name is john harper, from chicago, land of the bulls. >> jimmy: okay, this is a guy who plays elmo out on hollywood boulevard. for real, i have never seen him out of his costume before, it is really kind of disturbing, actually. but will elmo hit it or miss it? >> hit it! >> jimmy: all right, most of the audience says hit, there are a

few misses in there, let's find out. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: st. elmo is on fire. >> i'm a mother of free, and a great singer in the shower. >> give it a shot. >> jimmy: will this mother of three from wisconsin hit this shot? >> yes. >> jimmy: well, hold on -- everyone is saying together. who says hit? >> yes. >> jimmy: and who says miss? >> yes. >> jimmy: all right, the misses have a slight edge, let's find out. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nicely done, just signed a two-year endorsement deal with keds, all right, who else do we have here? >> what is your name and where

are you from? >> deon from washington, d.c. >> tell us about yourself. >> i have a good personality. >> jimmy: that is deondre, he has got a good personality. most everybody is saying miss, i don't know, the way he is holding the basketball looks pretty promising to me, let's find out. still got his personality, can't take that away from him. all right, next up? >> what is your name and where are you from? >> keegan, and i'm from missouri. >> tell us something about yourself. >> i like sports. >> all right, give it a shot. >> jimmy: he likes sports. but he dribbles with two hands, which is a violation. all right, what are we saying hit? >> yes. >> jimmy: or miss? >> yes.

>> jimmy: all right, we're saying hit. >> great job! high five! >> jimmy: he does like sports and sports like him back, probably on steroids. who is next? >> what is your name, where are you from? >> from englewood, california. >> tell us something about yourself. >> i am going to shoot with eyes closed. >> jimmy: that is something, he is going to shoot with eyes closed, will he hit it? >> yeah. >> jimmy: will he miss it? >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right, let's find out. should have kept his eyes closed there. i think we have one more. >> what is your name, where are you from? >> spider-man, i'm from new york city. >> and tell us something about yourself. >> i have super powers, because i was bitten by a radioactive

spider. >> okay, let's see if it helps with basketball. >> jimmy: all right, will spider-man make this shot? we know he is athletic, but i don't think he has a lot of time for sports, well, let's find out. oh! >> good job. >> jimmy: spider-man -- with the bank, and nothing -- [ cheers and applause ] chris messina is here, we have music from jimmy eat world, and we'll be right back with lil wayne. what's better, saving a bunch or not saving at all? [ kids ] a bunch! what would you buy with all this money you saved? i'd buy a change-o machine so i could change my brother into a puppy. change-o machine? couldn't you just buy an actual puppy?

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: tonight on the program, from the mindy project, and chris messina is with us, and their new album is out, called "damage," jimmy eat world, like my band that has me in their name, we have music from shakira, our guests will be jack black, and 2-year-old taking on metta world peace,

after the game in the west, first guest tonight enjoying a story-book career, grammy awards, diamond teeth, prison time, even near-death experiences. but he is alive and well, his newest cd is called "i am not a human being." please welcome the unstoppable lil wayne. ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm very happy to see you, how are you? >> i'm great, how are you? >> jimmy: last year you were scheduled to be here, and for some reason you were not actually here, and somebody from the studio audience came and pretended to be you. >> i heard about that. >> jimmy: what happened? was there a scheduling problem? >> honestly, i don't know what happened. >> jimmy: and then you were

scheduled to be here in march, but then you had a health problem. are you okay now? >> i'm good. >> jimmy: may i ask what happened to you? because i think we were worried that you were going to die. >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you know that everyone thought you were going to die? >> i didn't know that. >> jimmy: yeah, we did. but you didn't. and we're glad you didn't. but -- >> no, what happened, i had a few seizures, and the one that i think everybody was worrying about, that was serious because the house that i was in has an upstairs and downstairs, i was upstairs and my homeys were downstairs and they didn't even know i was up there with a seizure, one was like he has not come down in a minute, and he came up there. >> jimmy: who is the one who came up and found you? >> i think it was my homey, teak

or -- >> jimmy: you should find out what it was, i think you owe them. have you taken steps to make sure there is a homey on alert at all times now? >> i have taken no steps, and a whole bunch of other steps to make sure that everything is perfect. >> jimmy: good, good, i'm glad to hear that. because that can be really -- something that you can get by okay, or it can be really terrible. >> yeah, what it is, it is just a private medical matter that i have been dealing with my whole life. >> jimmy: right. >> and we used -- my doctors prepped all of my homeys, we're used to it happening. >> jimmy: i would have loved to have been at that meeting. who is that? is dr. dre your physician? [ cheers and applause ] >> no, i have a great background -- >> jimmy: you should look at the

physician's face when they open your mouth to give you cpr and there is a treasure trove in there. so who visited you at the hospital? a lot of famous people? >> a bunch of people visited me. but i just remember my mom being in there with my eyes open. >> jimmy: do you remember me visiting you? >> i think that was when i was still drugged up. >> jimmy: i want you to know i was at your side the whole time. and i hope you remember me in your will, in your lil will. now, lebron james visited you, is that true? i heard this. >> no, but he did send his concern. >> jimmy: oh, he did? which i thought was interesting, because you supposedly got banned from the miami heat, from their stadium, is that true? >> it is not true, i didn't get banned. they did tell me i'm allowed back whenever i want. >> jimmy: okay, that is definitely not banned.

at the time you were very upset. >> i don't think they want me there, so i won't make it hard on either of us. >> jimmy: got you, you're a lakers fan, you were just there supporting the lakers. >> i was. >> jimmy: but afterwards -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: afterwards, you were on stage and had very harsh words for each and every member of the heat lineup. chris bosh, you said you slept with his wife, do you remember that? yeah, you did, not even in such nice terms. did that happens? >> i was too turned up that night. a little too turned up. >> jimmy: but i heard now you're going to hockey games. >> i went to the kings game the other night. >> jimmy: how did you like that? >> i enjoyed it. it was just real cold. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know the funny thing is, one of my homeys, fuque, he didn't bring a sweat ñrshirt,

nothing, and when i tell you that was the longest game of his life. i think we went and bought him like an icy. >> jimmy: were his golden teeth shivering and chattering -- >> he doesn't have gold teeth. >> jimmy: well, maybe he needs a set. we'll have many, many things to talk about. we're going to take a break, lil wayne is with us. we'll be right back. [ male announcer ] erica had a rough day. there was this and this. she got a parking ticket... ♪ and she forgot to pay her credit card bill on time. good thing she's got the citi simplicity card. it doesn't charge late fees or a penalty rate. ever. as in never ever. now about that parking ticket. [ grunting ] [ male announcer ] the citi simplicity card is the only card that never has late fees, a penalty rate, or an annual fee, ever.

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chandler oh c [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, chris messina, still to come, lil wayne is here, this is your new cd, called "i am not a human being 2," would it call it a sequel, even though there was an album in between them, or did you just run out of ideas for the title? >> basically. >> jimmy: basically, you said you were going to retire soon is that still true? >> yes, that is true. >> jimmy: when did you think you would retire? >> i want to after the carter 5, the next album -- i think i have to work on other albums as well, but after the carter five, i

hope that i can retire. >> jimmy: will this be a real retirement? one of your usual retirements, the rapper retirement, or will you do 12 albums after that? i mean, tupak died and he is still making albums. you really can't retire, can you? what will you do when you retire? walmart greeter? >> everything that i have never had a chance to do. >> jimmy: like what? what kind of chance do you not get a chance to do? >> regular stuff. >> jimmy: like what? >> like drive a car down the street. >> jimmy: you could do that, justin bieber does it. you don't drive? >> i was just being funny, spend quality time with my kids. >> jimmy: okay, that is good, that is a good thing to do. that is nice. but you know what will happen, though, right? >> right. >> jimmy: when you're working, you think i wish i had more time

to spend with the family and kids, and then you get in the house all day you are like i got to get a job and get out of here, these kids are driving me insane. >> yeah, that is why i'm working now. >> jimmy: and by the way, there is a point where they don't want to spend quality time with you. >> i am at that point right now with my daughter. >> jimmy: oh, you are -- >> she is just cool. >> jimmy: how old is your daughter? >> she is 14. >> jimmy: yeah, it is done. >> she has a book out by the way. >> jimmy: your daughter has a book out? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what is it? >> i think it is princess diaries. >> jimmy: you should know the titles of their book, she has written a book, that is very ambitious. >> and my dad's daughter -- >> jimmy: which would be your sister, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i know, technically,

john what is going on, but. you -- you went skate boarding also, i'm trying to imagine you skate boarding, are you an expert skater? >> i am not an expert skater. >> jimmy: when did you pick the sport up? >> about two years ago. >> jimmy: why did you pick it up? >> honestly, i was watching a show called camp wood ward, and this little kid was on there, he was from out here, he was on there, he was just ripping. i was like man, he looks like he is having fun more than anything. because usually when you see skating you see the pros skating, it looks technical, difficult, when you see the kid skating doing what the pros do you look at it from a different perspective, like wow, that looks fun. and me, when anything looks fun to me i think i can do it. >> jimmy: and are you good at it? i know you go to skate parks.

>> i go to skate parks, too much, i won't answer the question if i'm good at it. i'll let somebody else answer the question. >> jimmy: that to me, means you're probably good at it. do you wear a helmet and elbow pads and that sort of thing? >> no, i actually don't. my mom, she -- wants me to very much. >> jimmy: oh, boy, i have to say there is no visual i would enjoy anymore than watching your mom watching you skate yelling at you to put a helmet on. that is where the lil in lil wayne really comes into play. well, it is great to see you. glad you're doing better health wise. lil wayne, everybody, i'm not a human being, 2, and america's most wanted music festival kicks off july 19th in birmingham, alabama, we'll be right back with chris messina. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

hi, i'm jimmy kimmel, it takes great pictures even in the dark, guillermo, you have this phone, what do you think about it? >> i love it, jimmy, i use it to take pictures of my son's birthday. >> jimmy: oh, that is perfect, can we see pictures of your son's birthday -- >> i think -- i don't want to bore you with them. >> jimmy: you won't bore me, i think it is adorable -- oh, look at that. that is adorable. that is you and benji, right? >> yes. >> jimmy: okay, you had his party in a bar? >> yes, yes, i want to make fun for the parents, but my phone took great pictures in the dark. >> jimmy: oh, look at that, that was taken in the dark, too, that is a nice cycle for benji, what is going on here? >> i'm eating a cake and the kid is just watching. >> jimmy: well, what happened

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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: hi, still to come, music from jimmy eat world, most people star on not even one tv show, our next guest, playing son to jane fonda, and stars in the mindy project on fox, please say hello to chris messina. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, you don't smell like pot at all. how is everything? >> everything is -- >> jimmy: we met in real life, actually. >> we did, we did. >> jimmy: at a wedding.

>> we did, we were both in bath robes. >> jimmy: that is right, we were both in bath robes. >> we were at the same wedding, and i tried out the spa. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and i got reflexology, did you do that? >> jimmy: no, i did not, i just like to walk around in my bath robe. >> what is reflexology? >> jimmy: i have no idea, but they were playing with my feet for a while. >> okay, all right. >> jimmy: and afterwards, they say we're going to look at your feet, and afterwards we'll tell you what is going on with you and we might ask you some questions, so he played around with my foot, and walked me through -- >> it was a guy, right. >> jimmy: yeah, it was great. sounds like they were out of masseuses. and as we were walking he said -- do you get headaches? i said no, no, my head is okay. do you drink a lot? you got stress?

kept asking me questions. we got to the lobby, i looked up and saw you. i said there is jimmy kimmel, i'm a huge fan, i guess he was invited to the wedding. and just as i saw you, he said how are your number 2's? >> jimmy: i said that -- >> no, he asked me that, how are your number 2's? and i looked up and saw you. i said they're okay, they could be better. and i remember him saying is it the hotel food that is bothering you? you know. and i said, no, no, no, my number 2's have always been kind of off, and hey jimmy, nice to meet you -- >> jimmy: i thought you guys were talking about pencils, i didn't even realize -- you were on the news room and the mindy project -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they schedule that out for you, you take a golf cart between sets or what?

>> no, no, both productions are amazing. they're very lenient on me, and they have been terrific. i mean, i did -- during 24 episodes of the mindy project, i shot a bunch of news rooms. and "mindy project" ended, i'm directing my first movie right now, so i'm in prep for my first movie. >> jimmy: wow, that is a lot of work. well, you play jane fonda's son on the news room. did you know her at all? did you like her? >> i love her. >> jimmy: oh, yes, she is your mom. >> i was always a huge fan of hers -- they asked me recently, they said would you do the last episode, the season finale of "the news room," i said i would be honored to be a part of it. and you will be with jane fonda and sam watersson, and as i prepped the movie, i said would

you do me a favor, write very little lines, don't write me too much. because aaron -- >> jimmy: wait a minute, you may be the only actor in history you realize, to ask for a smaller part. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so you asked him to not write you too many lines. >> i asked him to take it easy on me, because it was aaron -- they get mad if you skip -- >> jimmy: sure. >> i said just take it easy on me, and about two or three days out, a new script came in. and they had changed a bunch of lines and gave me a speech. >> jimmy: great. >> great. so i ended up going to work. and i mean, i couldn't get these words in my head. and i had -- i had probably the worst actor nightmare that i -- i'm 38 years old, been doing this since i was 18, i have never seen an actor go down so

hard. >> jimmy: like you did? >> in front of jane fonda, sam waterston, i knew it was so bad, that oscar winner marcia gay harding was going -- when you say petition, she was just trying to help me memorize, i couldn't hear a word she was saying. i just saw her lips moving, and i kept saying marcia who won an oscar is teaching me how to say lines. and the makeup artist was putting calming moisturizer on my hand to calm me. >> jimmy: that exists. >> i guess, for people in the news room falling apart. it was like being in a marathon and you're on your last leg of the marathon, and your body is falling apart. and you [ bleeped ] yourself?

o -- >> jimmy: just like earlier we discussed. >> yeah, i could have looked down at my foot, i was like oh, i. [ bleeped ] myself. and the great thing about jane fonda, i'm screwing up all day, it wasn't one line, two line li not one take, all day long. on my close-up, i'm calling what is the line? and they would give me the line, and i would get like two words of it. i would say what is it again, and they would give me it again. and jane fonda kept looking at me, off camera, saying i love you right now, i love you. she was the only one super excited about it. >> jimmy: oh, she was? >> yeah, and she was excited about the chaos. >> jimmy: maternal instinct. >> i love you, and to make things worse it was the season finale. so after all day long of

screwing up they had to say everybody, this is chris messina's last day. great work, chris, great work, after you know a long day of being terrible. >> jimmy: just what you want, a party afterward. and how old are your sons? you have two boys, right? >> yeah, i have a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old. >> jimmy: will you get anything for father's day this weekend? >> the truth is, my kids and wife asked me, what do you want for father's day? i said i don't want anything, i have everything i want with you guys. but the truth is i really want something. yeah. >> jimmy: what would you like? maybe throw them a little hint. >> just something like maybe macaroni -- >> jimmy: well, that is nice, a keep sake, happy father's day. we'll be right back with jimmy e eat world. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: well, this brand-new album called damage, playing the song, jimmy eat world. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ m ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪