facebook and follow us on >> tonight on "20/20" with parents like these, mothers who have kids and then decide they don't want to be around them. >> i don't have to get them to brush their teeth or be up until 11:30 to do their homework. i don't miss that. >> what do their children miss? >> do you love your children. >> more than anything. >> more than yourself? >> should a mother love her children more than herself? >> moms moving out. plus, mothers and daughters fighting it out. this teenager wants to have her baby, she says her parents don't want her. >> she said you want to give her an abortion pill. >> it was more like joking. >> a showdown that leads to court. >> he said our daughter --

>> the war at home. mortified by mom in a two-piece? dad in silly shorts? you ain't seen nothing yet. >> her life revolves around her boobs. >> the ones her mother keeps implanting. >> and the kids say your mom has big boobs. >> it's so weird and awkward. >> i'm not going to change this part of me. i can't live my life trying to please you. >> mother of the year? and dads, we didn't forget you. just in time for father's day. leaving your child alone in a stroller? in the splash zone at sea world? >> if you're that stupid, i want you caught on tape. >> child's play. tonight, with parents like these. >> don't our parents always embarrass us? >> uh, not like that. >> here's elizabeth vargas and david muir. >> they were harsh words, i hope she rots in hell but those are words from a daughter whose mother resurfaced after intentionally disappearing leaving her daughter for more

than a decade and made us wonder with parents like these -- >> people think it's the greatest taboob of motherhood voluntarily leaving your children, taking a time-out that can stretch into years but moms i met are convinced that what they have done has made them better mothers. you take a look and you decide. mother of the year she isn't. 11 years ago, brenda heist dropped off her 8 and 12 year old children at school, and then vanished. in news reports, her grieving family said they assumed she'd been kidnapped or murdered. >> it was tough. i mean every prom -- i graduated. and she wasn't there. >> reporter: but last month heist finally reappeared looking worse for wear and made a stunning admission. she had abandoned her family on purpose. it's the rare extreme of a mom gone awol. the reaction? widespread revulsion. don't judge, says mom talyaa liere.

she's no brenda heist, not even close, but she's faced similar scorn for deciding to live apart from her children. >> i had a lot of shame because of the way that we think about what mothers should be. >> reporter: that they would never leave their children? >> some people think that. >> reporter: talyaa is a so called "non custodial mother." a mom without physical custody of her kids. in 2008, she moved to seattle after a divorce, leaving her three children nathaniel, eric and serena to live with their dad, david, 2,800 miles away in pennsylvania. talyaa spends her days painting, writing, making music and practicing martial arts with her boyfriend. mothering -- >> give me a wide shot of your room. i want to see who it looks like. >> reporter: it's done from afar. >> i'll walk you through the steps of scrambled eggs. >> reporter: oh sure, she emails recipes for them to cook themselves and she stays in touch on the phone and via

skype. >> you sound a little like you have a cold. >> yeah, i have a cold. >> reporter: but they only see each other in person around once a year. >> okay so, miss sweetcake, i'll talk to you again soon. we talk all the time. we're very connected. >> reporter: and that's as good as being there? >> i can't answer that it's, it's good as. it's just different. >> reporter: i know a lot of people listening to this will want to know, do you love your children? >> absolutely. more than anything. >> reporter: more than yourself? >> should a mother love her children more than herself? >> reporter: startling as this may sound, there are an estimated 2.4 million non-custodial mothers in the united states. many of these mothers are heartbroken by the loss of custody. but some moms, like talyaa, give up custody voluntarily. author rahna reiko is also a non-custodial mother. her teenage sons were three and five when she and her husband divorced. since then, she sees them for four to five hours, three days a week, an arrangement she initiated. >> they come over after school,

they stay until bedtime, and then he comes to pick them up, and they go home to bed. >> reporter: rahna is brutally honest about why she made her decision. >> i never wanted to be a mother initially. i realized that i had -- that i had kind of fallen into this role that i had never intended to fall into. >> reporter: rahna wanted to devote herself full time to her writing, not to her kids. she's the rare mom to admit she does not pine for the daily grind of parenting. >> i don't have to get them to brush their teeth. i don't have to be up until 11:30 to do their homework. i don't miss that. >> reporter: talyaa has a different reason for leaving. she says post-divorce conflict between her and david was causing enormous stress for her and the kids. and that leaving, while a wrenching decision, was the only way to ease the tension. why so far away? why did have you to move 3,000 miles away? >> well, at that point, was it 10 miles or 3,000 miles or 3

million miles. it really wouldn't make any difference. >> reporter: well, because at ten miles you could still see the kids and have, be a presence in their lives. >> reporter: david says there was no conflict and he says talyaa's sudden transformation from stay at home mom to west coast bohemian was astonishing. >> i'm completely surprised, even to this day. >> reporter: and his friends? >> they were shocked. it's like, how could a mom leave her children like this? what got into her? >> hi, momma. >> but she has a spiritual connection with them that is rather profound. and accordingly, she doesn't seem to need to have that physical contact with them. >> how's my boy? >> reporter: complicating matters further, taylaa's youngest child eric has down syndrome. their longest time apart was more than two years. kisses with mom? a computer will have to do. you have a special needs child.

did it make you think that you owed it to him to be there for him? >> eric is the kind of child that connects to whomever he's around. it sounds strange to say this from his mother, but people are kind of interchangeable to him. i could tell from how he is that he will have a wonderful life, whoever he's around. >> reporter: talyaa has been called "selfish", "irresponsible" and "delusional." rahna has been called worse. >> i got death threats. i got people telling me that i am evil, that i'm worse than hitler, that i'm, that i'm human garbage. >> reporter: some mothers would say your decision to leave was putting care for yourself ahead of care for your children. >> i think that better women make better mothers. when you love and know yourself, then you can be a better mother for your children. >> reporter: but how are you being a better mother 3,000 miles away? >> because i'm in touch with who i am. >> i know, but how is that benefiting them? >> it allows me to make choices for my children from my heart

rather than from what i think society tells me about what a mother should be. >> i never saw him play his drums. >> you haven't? >> i don't think i have. >> reporter: you chose to be a mother. aren't you now just advocating that responsibility and saying, well, i don't want to sacrifice anything. shouldn't mothers sacrifice for their children? >> i think no mother should have to completely sacrifice. i think to sacrifice your own wants and needs and desires for someone else's life, what kind of a message is that sending your children? >> reporter: here's a surprise. not only his her ex-husband satisfied with the arrangement -- >> i think it's been great for the family. >> reporter: her son supports his mom despite the distance. >> yeah, it's difficult, but, no, i'm not going to grow up hating her and never speaking to her again. i think my mom's a good mom, even from far away. >> reporter: but for 11-year-old serena, who was only 8 when her mom left, the emotional toll is palpable. >> when i was growing up, and my

mom lived with us, then, um, i have, like, a lot of happy memories. >> reporter: serena saves every memento from her mother. >> these are some christmas wrappings i saved. these are my birthday cards and stuff. they are kind of special because we don't see her a lot.. >> reporter: she has also become a surrogate mother for eric. >> i make eric's lunch and i feed him breakfast. sometimes i am actually kind of angry with her. that i don't have a mother to do what a mother does. >> reporter: in her blog "the better mother's project" talyaa defends her decision with her message that there is not only one "right" way to be a mother. rahna agrees. she says she has managed to have it all, an award-winning book and a close relationship with her sons.. >> i think if i was a man none of this would be an issue. people have this idea of what a good mother is and i don't fit

that mold. but i definitely fit the mold of a terrific divorced dad. >> reporter: talyaa has lived apart from her children for 5 years now. we checked in with serena just last week. she is 13 years old now and says adjusting to life without mom has become easier. >> our relationship is really a lot closer than it was before. we talk about relationship problems and what's going on in a girl's body and all that stuff. >> on the last day of eighth grade he's going to ask her out. i really love my mom a lot. >> reporter: but serena's vision of her future life as a mother? >> as a mother, i never wanna be apart from my children. i want to make that perfect family that she was never able to do. i want that really badly now. >> mamma loves you. bye. >> so, what do you think about these mothers who move out? let us know on twitter

using hash tag abc2020. we'll be right back. >> announcer: next -- whose side would you be on? the 16-year-old who wants to have her baby. or the parents she says want her to terminate it. >> you had talked about trying to slip her an abortion pill. >> it was more of a joking type thing. >> is it worth suing your parents? >> he said our daughter is suing us. >> next on "with parents like these." on "with parents like these." this is it. this is what matters. the experience of a product. how will it make someone feel? will it make life better? does it deserve to exist? we spend a lot of time on a few great things.

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and it keeps fighting for a full 30 days. ask your vet about frontline plus. accept nothing less. >> announcer: "20/20" returns. here's deborah roberts. >> reporter: it's a family feud as big as texas, two teens in love. their parents in hate. their lawyers in court. and the media in a tizzy! >> he told me the allegations were false. >> reporter: at the center of it all, 16-year-old reagan. hers was a typical childhood in houston's ranch country horseback riding, volleyball. but things started going south

when her parents, jeff and denise koen, split up. was that hard on you? >> it was hard on me because, you know, i was so used to seeing them, you know, in the same house. >> reporter: during the turbulence, reagan met a boy from a neighboring school. >> she was just sweet, kind, just, everything i want. >> he was just very sweet, a gentleman. >> reporter: and the next thing you know, you're dating. dating was soon more than holding hands and cuddling. how quickly did it become sexual? >> probably not until we started dating for like three or four months. >> reporter: were you worried at all about possibly getting pregnant? >> i was worried, but i mean, i was on birth control. and i quit taking it. and then the moment i quit taking it is whenever -- >> reporter: you got pregnant. >> uh-huh.

>> reporter: a positive pregnancy test said it all. what was your reaction when you found out she was pregnant? >> shocked. wasn't expecting to be 16 and having a baby, that's for sure. >> reporter: did you have any opinion about babies and abortion and teen pregnancy? >> well, i'd always watch like, "teen mom" and stuff. >> i feel the same way. >> i saw all of those moms out there they can do it with their babies. >> reporter: at first the young couple kept the pregnancy a secret and then fessed up to evan's mom and dad. were you upset? >> it's just kind of like a wow moment. i was going to support the kids. i mean, whatever they decided. >> reporter: jamie offered to break the news to reagan's mom

whose reaction was quite different. >> like, we'll take care of this. you know, i'm going to take care of business. >> reporter: and what did you mean, take care of business? >> basically terminate the pregnancy. >> reporter: two moms, two radically different views. jamie was herself a teen mom. >> i mean, i'm definitely not endorsing it, i mean, it requires a lot of dedication and hard work and sacrifice. but it can be done. >> reporter: rain reagan's mom denise admitted that she had an abortion. there were accusations that you had talked about trying to slip her some kind of abortion pill. >> it was more of a joking, you think i could, type thing. let somebody else be in the same position and see what they would say. >> reporter: emotions between the two families hit a boiling point when jeff learned his only child was pregnant. what did you think should happen? >> it's a mistake, done by kids that obviously don't know what they're doing. we'd sit down and have conversations with her, and yes,

they were, they were heated conversations, and i did let her have it. i did absolutely let her have it. >> reporter: did you feel you were being pressured? >> well, my dad stepped in with my mom and said, "i don't care, you're going to get an abortion," and "it's my way or the highway," you know, that kind of attitude. >> reporter: do you respect her decision? >> honestly, no. i don't respect her decision. >> reporter: things go so ugly that police have been called to the burnside house as recently as four weeks ago. >> 911 location of your emergency? >> we just have a harassment -- verbally harassing -- it's my dad. >> reporter: jeff insists he never harassed the burnsides and no police report was ever filed.

did you threaten her in any way? >> at any point in time, that girl has never been threatened. we wanted to fully understand that she knew what the future, uh, held for her. >> reporter: for reagan the future definitely included a baby at any cost. >> she asked us to please help her. and, you know, i said, "i don't know what i can do, but i'll figure out something." >> reporter: jamie and joey went into action and found attorneys with the texas center for defense of life ready to go to court. >> a lawsuit never would have been filed if her parents were willing to do the right thing in our opinion which is to allow her to make the choice to have the child. >> reporter: during this meeting the attorneys arranged a clandestine plan. with her mom waiting outside in her car, reagan slipped into a lady's room with a notary and signed a temporary restraining order. eventually reagan would legally free herself from her parents,

the courts call it emancipation. why not talk it out and try to sort it out? why go to court? >> i felt like it was never going to end. >> reporter: today a civil court judge issued a temporary restraining order. >> reporter: her parents were blind-sided when a local news report broke the news to them. >> he said our daughter is suing us. really? you know, and she said, yeah. >> reporter: in the lawsuit it says that her parents had done multiple actions, removal of the cell phone. removal from school the previous day. forcing her to get two jobs. taking away her car and other demands because she was refusing to give into their coercion to have an abortion. >> that is inaccurate. the way it was laid out, we weren't trying to force her or coerce her. at this stage in the game at this point we were working to, you know, make plan for life.

>> reporter: the case became a national media sensation. >> you have the determination to be a good father? >> i said i hope that you're proud that you just sued your parents. i just want to let you know, those attorneys are not going to be there for you, you know? i said they got what they wanted. >> reporter: denise and jeff deny trying to force their daughter to do anything. saying reagan has been manipulated by media hungry lawyers. still they signed a court order. jeff was clearly unhappy about it. >> basically had our child ripped away from us through the court system. parental rights just been -- just done. you're done today. >> reporter: at nearly five months pregnant we found reagan shopping for baby clothes. she wasn't working and evan had lost his after school job at a local grocery store. how do you plan to support yourself or care for your baby?

>> we're going to try to be very money wise. we've actually saved about $300, $400. >> reporter: that won't get you too far. >> no. i mean it's going to be hard. >> perfect. >> reporter: weeks later, decked out in cowboy gear, the teenagers formally tied the knot. >> we're gathered today to celebrate this woman in holy matrimony. >> reporter: reagan's parents were not invited. >> it ripped my heart out. i never, ever, ever thought i could feel that way in my life. it's one of the things that parents look forward to is watching them get married. and be there with them through all of the big events of their lives. >> late this week went back to texas to catch up and discovered that another big event had just happened. reagan and evan had a falling

out with evan's parents so they are living with reagan's mom. the very mom she sued. they're all happily awaiting the baby, due this september. we'll be right back. next -- does mother know best? not according to her humiliated kids. when she's planning on trading up her implants. >> if she gets them bigger it will be like chaos. >> what if she died? does she care that her kids could be left alone? my name is dan and this is my aha moment. i was severely wounded in combat in iraq in 2004. and then i said, to myself, i think it's time to help the next guy. so i stopped what i was doing and went to work for wounded warrior project. i can show that new guy, hey, that's it's going to be ok. like, i'm climbing mount kilimanjaro in august. there's nothing that can stop me from achieving my personal life goals. mutual of omaha. insure your possibilities.

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that can only be best foods. bring out the best. >> announcer: we return to "20/20's" "with parents like these." here's deborah roberts. >> reporter: taking a walk with mom is a challenge for lacey wildd's 17-year-old daughter, tori. >> uh-oh, she's bouncing. >> when people see my mom with large implants, i feel like they

judge me. usually girls just like laugh at her, make fun of her. men calling out. my life revolves around her boobs. >> reporter: every moment, tori keeps a wary distance. after all, it's not easy living with a mom whose 52-inch assets are on clear display. >> it's annoying. i feel like we should have a normal time walking down the street. i wish she could take them off when we go places together. >> reporter: lacey wildd is all about living large. very, very large. much to the dismay of her son brandon. >> everything's fake, i think. i don't think she looks good at all. i think she looked pretty before she even had the surgery. >> reporter: lacey claims to have the seventh largest breasts in the world, a way to support her family from public appearance fees. but those volleyball-sized breasts are also the source of

bitter conflict between mom and daughter. >> people will start booking her kind of like, you know, when you go see the two-headed man, you know. it's not like they're booking her because "oh wow, she's like sexy." >> thank you dear, i just love you saying that. she's basically saying i'm the sideshow. >> reporter: lacey's work on her website also cuts into mom time, according to her younger kids, genevieve and brandon. >> she's always busy on the computer. her phone. >> ipad. >> she never does anything with us. >> i just got asked to do, go to the grand opening of a day care because they want the dads to get involved. >> reporter: so how much do you think you'll make, because of those breasts? >> i'm looking maybe to make $250,000 a year. my boobs are my paychecks, for sure. >> your boobs are your paycheck? >> a hundred percent. >> reporter: it wasn't always this way. lacey started life as a tomboyish girl next door named paula.

>> i was just a flat-chested, brown-haired little girl, from a midwest town. that's the house i grew up in. i slept on the floor. i don't think i'll ever be that poor again. >> reporter: married at 16, divorced with 2 kids by 21, she was scraping by as a waitress when suddenly she had a big idea. >> i changed my hair color, and i got my breasts done, and my money just started rolling in. >> reporter: 12 breast surgeries later, good-bye paula, hello, lacey wildd. but being lacey comes at a cost. she can't even pick up her 5-year-old daughter. >> it's not going to work. i can't lift her up and pull her to me, because let's be honest, i'm out pretty far. i can't work out. i can't jog. >> we used to ride bikes together like every night, and we can't do that anymore. >> reporter: sleep, too, is a difficult balancing act. >> she has to have a pillow on

her boobs. >> yeah, she has to have like, three pillows under her boobs. >> after a little while, i can't take it anymore. i feel like i'm being suffocated. >> she sleeps like this. like a mummy. >> reporter: lacey's kids endure a much greater hardship every day -- the scalding shame of public embarrassment. >> my mom walked in to drop me off at school, and this kid says -- "your mom has big boobs." that made me feel so crazy. >> so weird and awkward. >> yes. >> i do want my kids to be happy and not be embarrassed of me, not have to worry about being bullied at school or so embarrassed at all. >> reporter: so at home in sunny south florida, lacey sometimes goes to great lengths to come off like the mom next door. >> extra large pants, extra large jacket is required for this operation.

so, look, normal mom, right, in 100-degree weather. >> reporter: nice try, but not good enough for 11-year-old brandon. >> i want her to get them smaller, not stay the same or get bigger. and then i would be happy. >> reporter: well, get ready kids for a new round of zany. lacey is about to double the size of her breasts, going from a triple "l" to a triple "q." >> if she gets bigger, it would be chaos. >> they'll be like, forty-two pounds. >> reporter: is it safe? >> absolutely not. these aren't safe. i'm a walking time bomb, is what the doctor told me. >> reporter: the surgery is so risky that no american doctor will do it. tori is outraged that her mom is willing to take that chance. >> what if she died, is she really taking that into consideration? does she care that her kids could be left alone? >> reporter: but lacey's fans urge her on donating for the upcoming procedure in brazil.

>> you know, when people like put on that internet, like, "oh, i'm gonna kill myself. i'm gonna do this." people -- like, "do it, do it, do it," because they don't really care about you. they just wanna see you do something crazy. and then they're done. so are you gonna do it? >> well, i haven't done it yet, so -- >> and that wasn't what i asked. >> reporter: your daughter tori is really upset with you. >> she's -- thinks that i'm, i'm being irresponsible, by putting my life on the line. >> reporter: you say it's upsetting, i feel bad, i don't want them to be upset, but why do it? >> it's the money. it's the money. i need the money. >> reporter: money to send tori to college and care for her two younger children. there are people who are working two jobs, at a grocery store and a department store. >> i was doing okay. but i quadrupled my income. >> reporter: do you ever regret this? >> um, no, actually, i don't, i don't regret it. i would do it again. absolutely. >> reporter: even knowing that your kids are upset and embarrassed? >> don't our parents always embarrass us? >> the other day i went to a party and this kid came up and he's like "are you tori, the one

that has the mom with the big boobs." i'm like, "yep, that's me." >> reporter: do you think that this could permanently damage your relationships with your children? >> i don't think so. my kids love me for me. i'm very loving. my heart's bigger than my boobs. >> announcer: next -- dozens of drunken teens at a party. some passed out in the yard. >> they say there were beer cans and vomit everywhere. >> but when the police came, who got in trouble? the parents inside. who didn't buy a drop of liquor. >> the first thing i remember was a policeman saying that my dad was going to jail. >> a mom, a dad and a gross-out party. next on "with parents like these." when visa signature asked everybody what upgraded experiences really mattered... you suggested luxury car service instead of "strength training with patrick willis." come on todd! flap them chicken wings. [ grunts ] well, i travel a lot and umm...

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>> what's a party without entertainment? just recently, some r rated pictures popped up on facebook of strippers supposedly hired by

a mother for her 16-year-old son's birthday. so, how does that compare to a high school party with no strippers but lots of drinking? that's more common and potentially more dangerous. but for whom? the kids or their parents. >> reporter: prom and graduation season have arrived and along with the dresses, corsages, caps and gowns come the parties, raucous teen bashes that can strike fear into the heart of any parent. paula and barry spencer know the feeling well. for them, last june 16th started out as a day of celebration. >> there was a lot of jumping up and down. >> a lot of jumping. >> yeah, yeah. it was amazing. >> reporter: their 18-year-old son nicky, along with his high school baseball team, had just won the state championship. it was a big day for the small town of falmouth, maine. >> nicky asked if he could have a celebration at our home. >> i didn't know necessarily

what the party would entail, but i mean, it's assumed that people are gonna be crazy and pumped up and hyper after a big win. >> reporter: the spencers enjoyed entertaining their son's large group of friends, but say they would never cross the line like the dad in this "what would you do?" scenario, who actually buys alcohol for his teenage son. >> you never threw a party for your kids? >> never. i have four of them. never. my oldest is 30. never. it's the wrong message to send them. >> reporter: the spencers say they were definitely looking to avoid sending that message. what were the ground rules? >> he actually told us, "we'll keep it to 50." and i said, "nothing illegal." >> reporter: those would prove to be famous last words. >> barry came to me and said, "i'm starting to see people sneaking in alcohol." >> people from other towns started hearing about it, and we started having people show up who i didn't recognize, and kind of got a little out of control. >> reporter: around 10:30 p.m. an anonymous tip comes into the falmouth police that there are more than soft drinks being served at the spencers' home. sergeant george savidge was on

duty. >> when i pulled up to the house, a gentleman came out and identified himself as mr. spencer, and he said that he was hosting an alcohol- and chemical-free party. >> reporter: sergeant savidge leaves, but partygoers keep arriving. >> i saw lots of people coming with just boxes and boxes of beer in the woods. >> so, when the police first came to your house, you already knew things were getting a little dicey. >> mm-hmm. >> reporter: it was a little more than you could handle. >> yes. >> reporter: why aren't you walking through the house saying, "time to go home?" >> i felt like i invited these kids to our home to celebrate, and i didn't have clear evidence that they were all drinking. i also really felt at the time that if i walked around and said, "all right, everybody, we're shutting it down," they'd run to their cars or do something that's more dangerous. than what they were actually doing. >> reporter: so, you thought it was safer to let them stay and continue to party at your house? >> but not drink. >> reporter: at 11:30, another falmouth police officer makes a traffic stop near the house.

in the car he finds one of the passengers is a drunken underage passenger who says she's just come from the party. cops make a beeline back to the spencers'. how had the scene changed? >> at this point, it looked like there was a party going on. >> reporter: not just a party, a rager that has ballooned to around 100 rowdy kids openly drinking in the backyard when police descend to break it up. >> it was just mayhem. they started breathalizing any kids that were trying to leave. >> the first thing that i remember was a policeman saying that my dad was going to jail. >> reporter: going to jail even though the spencers didn't provide a drop of the alcohol? it's happening to parents all over the country, like this mom who was sentenced to six months in a massachusetts jail for hosting underage drinkers, even though she claims she was duped by duplicitous teens. and this tennessee school teacher was arrested and then

fired for the post-prom drinking party she says she unwittingly threw. denials aside, district attorney stephanie anderson believed the spencers were the latest example of parents turning a blind eye to tipsy teenagers. >> there was no real attempt to prevent underage drinking at that home. >> reporter: she points to the police report from that night which describes a scene fit for a frat house, complete with a teenager passed out on a neighbor's lawn. they describe the scene at your house that night as, quote, "an animal house." an animal house. >> mm-hmm. >> reporter: they say there were beer cans and vomit everywhere. >> that's just not true. >> reporter: but anderson didn't buy their story and she went after the spencers, charging them with allowing minors to consume alcohol in their home, a crime that now had them facing jail time. >> they wanted to be the cool parents. >> 97.9 is portland's number one hit music station. >> reporter: the story quickly got the attention of the local media. >> i mean, can you imagine at that moment how you're going to feel? i'm going to get in trouble. i'm going to get arrested. >> wrong!

wrong, wrong. 21 and over you can drink. 21 and under you can't drink. it's the law. >> reporter: a few clicks on youtube illustrates the ever more devious and dangerous ways kids are finding to get drunk, from eyeball shots, to vodka gummy bears to downing hand sanitizer. it may make you wonder whether adult-supervised drinking parties are such a bad idea. what's more dangerous? having my kids down in the basement where i know they're going to drink a few beers or having them go out to the softball field at night and drink where there's nobody to keep an eye on anything? >> in this scenario, there's no difference at all. there wasn't anyone there to keep an eye on anything. >> reporter: but anderson had a hard time convincing a jury of that. when it did go to trial, it was split down the middle. >> yes. >> six to six. >> yeah. >> reporter: did that surprise you? >> no, not terribly. it's a very divisive issue. >> reporter: rather than retry the spencers, anderson offered them a deal -- no jail time, but they would have to pay $17,000 in fines and

restitution, write a letter of apology in the local paper and serve 100 hours of community service each. you know that there are critics who say that you were overzealous in this, that you have a cause you're promoting. >> well, underage drinking is one of my causes. that's true. >> reporter: but do you really think you're going to stop underage drinking? >> no. i don't think i'm going to stop underage drinking. >> reporter: so then, what have you done? haven't you chased it back to the unsupervised, unchaperoned location? >> well, i think what this case did was, i think it got the issue out in the open. i think parents are putting themselves in the position of "what should i do differently?" if i'm going to have a party i should have chaperones. >> we did not intend for kids to drink.

it happened, and i'm sorry that it happened. >> reporter: are you ever going to host another party? >> our 12-year-old is already asking to have a end-of-year pool party. >> and they're sixth graders. i'm sure that we can manage that. >> reporter: you sure? >> i would maybe ask a parent or two to stick around. next -- d is for dad. or maybe just dumb. because he's now starring in the videos that are going viral. >> here's another dumb dad. look at that. your bottom line message to dads on this father's day is don't be an idiot. >> next on "with parents like these." change-o machine? couldn't you just buy an actual puppy? but if my brother's a puppy i could bring him to show and tell and say, "here's my puppy brother!" well when you say it like that it makes perfect sense. [ male announcer ] it's not complicated. saving is better. come to at&t and trade up to iphone 5. get it now for $99.99 when you trade in your current smartphone. ♪ little things anyone can do. it steals your memories. your independence.

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if it seems we've been focused on moms for the hour doing the unconventional, time for equal opportunity with dads who are turning heads, just in time for father's day. dan harris has the story. >> reporter: usually we think of dad as the one holding the video camera, recording everybody else. now, though, the lens is turning, with fathers taking starring roles. whether it's doling out unusual

forms of punishment, engaging in epic lapses in judgment, or just being a huge dork, dad is going viral. ♪ i'm a daddy and i know it >> here's another dumb dad. look at that. >> reporter: on this father's day weekend, there are valuable lessons embedded in these clips. to figure out what they are, we enlisted dad and comedian hal sparks, and parenting expert dr. jeff gardere to take a look at our fatherhood lowlight reel. >> ooh! >> reporter: exhibit a, this dad giving new meaning to the term "penalty kick." >> parents think some of this stuff is cute. and that child, subconsciously or in the future, may not trust his father as much. >> the kid takes it stride though, falls down and gets right back up. >> reporter: check out this dad at a theme park, leaving his son

unattended in the splash zone. >> okay, he's not big enough to get in the water ride, so we'll just park him near where the water will hit him and he'll get kind of the experience. don't do that to your kid. >> reporter: from the theme park to the ballpark often the venue for classic dad discombobulating. look at this guy. >> baby in one hand, ball in the other? >> reporter: this dad doesn't even manage to hold onto the kid. >> his daughter just tumbles out of his lap into the bleachers. >> yeah, the look on her face pretty much tells the story. >> yeah, you idiot. she gave him the death stare. and he deserved it. >> is there something about the hardwiring of the male brain that makes us just slightly less capable in this arena? >> i think you're being very kind by saying, "slightly less capable." i think we're a lot dumber in some of these things. yes, of course, it's the way that we're hardwired. we're much more rough and tumble.

we're not as nurturing. >> reporter: there really is something about a sporting event that can summon a father's evil side. look at hockey coach and dad martin trembley during the postgame handshake ceremony. >> he looks back, and he scoops his leg. you do realize you're a grown man, right? >> reporter: the 13-year old he tripped broke his wrist. trembley was banned from the league, and sent to the grownup penalty box -- jail for 15 days. >> i think this peaks the bad dad meter into bad human. well into bad human at this point, overall. >> reporter: it gets even darker than that. this surveillance video from a gas station in detroit at 3:00 in the morning became a national story look closely at who's driving, a 9-year-old girl, her father in the passenger seat. >> she drove me here, 9 years old. >> yeah, she's 9 she drove us here! awesome, i have such a system. is that camera on? >> we're leaving and she's

driving. i'm drunk. >> reporter: the surveillance video went viral and the dad, sean weimer went to court where he was sentenced to two years probation. >> if you're that stupid, i want you caught on tape. >> reporter: speaking of punishment, remember this dad? tommy jordan made a huge splash, even getting interviewed on "20/20," after he decided to take his daughter to task for an anti-parent rant she posted on facebook. >> when your parents tell you do something, you do it. you don't go, ugh, fine. >> reporter: in retaliation, he went eastwood on her laptop. >> the only lesson this taught this guy's daughter was dad is a maniac, and i can't wait to move out. >> reporter: dr. gardere says this is the exact wrong way to punish your kid. >> good parenting would be all of that time and effort that he

spent at making that video, spending that time instead sitting with his daughter, talking with her about her behavior. >> reporter: now we should say not all of the caught- on-tape moments involving dads are negative. let's wrap up with this thing up with clip from a father letting it all go. he's become known as the "dancing dad" on the internet. >> i think his dancing technique was spectacular, it served the purpose, and i stand by him 100%. >> reporter: in conclusion, in an era when more moms are working outside the home more dads are stepping up. but as they do so, our experts say, the humiliation doled out by these viral clips should serve as a useful reminder. so your bottom-line message to dads on this father's day seems to be, don't be an idiot. >> don't be an idiot, think about what you're doing. you're allowed to make mistakes. but for heaven sakes, learn from your mistakes and try to be a but for heaven sakes, learn from your mistakes and try to be a better dad. good night.here you.

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visit your sprint store or sprint.com today. trouble hearing on the phone? visit sprintcaptel.com a blt with best foods is the best. ♪ ♪ bring out the unmistakable taste that can only be best foods. bring out the best. >> that's our program. thanks for watching. our topic continues on "nightline." kids whose parents let them cage fight. i'm elizabeth vargas. >> i'm david muir. you're a great mom. time for you to head home. thanks for watching and happy father's day this weekend. >> that's right. >> good night. police and protesters collide. up next, a live repo from

why. a everything is a buck? even liquor? the bay area 99 cent store that hopes to t