tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC June 14, 2013 11:35pm-12:36am PDT
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live: game night," presented by skype. tonight, will smith and shaquille o'neal versus a 2-year-old in "clash of the titus." now at the buzzer, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us for our game one "game night" special. >> tonight is game one of the nba finals, the san antonio spurs visit the miami heat, game one is important, because historically the winner of game one goes into game two having won the first game. [ laughter ] heat went seven games with the pacers, whereas spurs swept the
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grizzlies in four, earned nine days' rest as a result. rest is good. sometimes too much rest works against you. this is tony parker after game four. this is tony after ten days off. you see his jersey literally exploded after he put it on. there is a funny moment after game seven month the. heat forward shane battier rode the bench during that game but he made himself useful anyway. watch him here just behind lebron james. he decided to towel lebron off. also mops him. that's what you do when you have an endorsement deal with bed, bath and beyond, i guess. [ laughter ] i don't know why i love that. but i have an idea how we can make that clip better, show that again. we'll play it in slow motion. isn't that lovely? and look at norris cole in the back there. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: looks like the manager of a car wash, turning into an employee. hey, man, you missed a spot. see to me that is what you call teamwork, it really is. spurs fans from san antonio, a guy named dan earl made an unusual agreement with his girlfriend, his mother and his sisters. and said if the spurs made it into the finals he would let them wax his chest hair into the shape of the spurs logo. i don't know why dan made this agreement but he did. and then this happened. >> oh, god. ow! rip it out faster! ohhhh, ohhhh, stop! stop! >> one more! >> stop! stop! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sadly, dan died shortly after that video was shot. and by the way, this was the final result of the waxing.
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well, at least he looks great. you might want to put some wax on that face, too, he has more hair than teen wolf. and during a time like the nba finals, especially the cities hosting the games. like the whole nation is following the game closely, but it's not necessarily the case, most people don't know what's going on but for some reason they like to pretend they do. we stopped people outside on hollywood boulevard to ask them how they think the lakers are doing in the finals. the lakers aren't in the finals, they were eliminated in the first round. but that did not dissuade any of these people who identified themselves as lakers fans from agreeing that they were. in this very special basketball edition of "lie witness news." >> what is your name, where are you from? >> i'm odile from miami. >> and are you excited that the lakers made it into the finals?
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>> yeah, actually, i love the lakers, i just moved to l.a. recently, i love to see kobe bryant shoot his three's and crossover and fade away. >> so you're excited they're playing your home team, the heat. >> yes. >> you're from miami? >> yes. >> will you be going to the games? >> yeah, hopefully if miami comes here, yeah. >> do you think the lakers are going to win the stanley cup? >> i think so. yeah, it is a championship so, yeah. if they win, they'll take that. >> and are you excited the lakers have made it into the finals? >> hell yes, i love the lakers. >> where were you when you found out they made it? >> l.a., baby, whoo! where was i? probably getting drunk somebody at the bar. >> were you surprised the lakers made it into the finals? >> not really, they have a really solid team, strong competition. a team like that plays quite well. >> and even despite the fact they were eliminated earlier in the season? >> no, not really. >> that doesn't affect you? >> no, not really. they'll come back, keep the composure going. >> they can be eliminated and
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come back? >> anybody can be eliminated, and come back as long as they keep their act together. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: see that, don't give up. so inspiring. we have a shorter show than we usually do, but it is jam-packed with fun. will smith is backstage, he might even come out. 2-year-old trick shot titus is here with us tonight. that is titus, his parents posted this video online, he is a very good shooter, but can he out-shoot one of the all-time greats? none other than shaquille o'neal is here. to do battle with little titus in what we call "clash of the titus." you know all of those years you always said a 2-year-old could shoot free throws better than shaq? well, tonight we're going to find out if that is true. [ cheers and applause ] [ poof! ]
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>> jimmy: our guest tonight is one of the biggest movie stars on this and several other planets, he as grammy-winning recording artists who his parents never really understood. his new movie is called "after earth". >> i'm giving you an order to turn around and return to this ship. >> you wouldn't give any other ranger that order! >> you are not a ranger, and i'm giving you that order. >> you're wrong. i'm not a coward. you're the coward! i am not a coward!
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>> jimmy: please welcome will smith. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> hey! >> jimmy: how you doing? >> whoa. >> jimmy: welcome, welcome. >> thank you, sir. >> jimmy: how are you? >> what's up, man? >> jimmy: how you doing? >> whoa! yeah! >> jimmy: wow. well, they're excited. >> very excited. >> jimmy: you're very low energy today. is something wrong? >> this is fantastic, man. >> jimmy: it's great to have you on. you've never been on the show before. >> i know. i mean, i don't know what you're thinking. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're from west philadelphia, born and raised. >> west philadelphia, born and
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raised. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so you're a 76ers fan. >> absolutely. my entire life -- philadelphia 76ers. >> jimmy: favorite player? >> favorite player -- dr. j. julius erving. >> jimmy: of course, it has to be dr. j. >> absolutely, yeah. dr. j. no, it was, you know, growing up in philly and doc and specifically, 1983, that's when we won the championship. >> jimmy: right. >> we won it all. you know. and just doc was my guy, man. i really, like, modeled how i wanted to be after julius erving. i would just -- >> jimmy: did you have an afro? >> oh, come on, man. i had the afro, you know. the high socks. >> jimmy: yeah, the high socks. >> you know. well, he had the short shorts where you could just about see the crease, you know. [ laughter ] them old-school shorts. >> jimmy: you're one of the owners of the team now. >> yeah, that was interesting. yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that's got to be the greatest thing ever, right? >> it was fantastic. we got in with the ownership group and a bunch of guys came in and they asked me if i wanted
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to be a part, so -- two years ago, we purchased the philadelphia 76ers. dude, let me tell you -- your hometown team, and i remember the first day, you know, the deal went through, and we walked into the game, and just as, you know, i was that little boy again, walking into that arena and they put up the picture and announced that we were part of the ownership group for the team. and you know, i got a little misty. i got a little misty. i got a little misty. >> jimmy: yeah. and then you fired eight people on the way in. [ laughter ] philadelphia's a tough town. now that you're one of the owners of the team, do the fans get on you? >> you know, no, because, like, when you're the owner of a team, you have rules, right? because, you know, you're an owner, you love your team, but you like other players and other teams and stuff like that. >> jimmy: i've seen you at lakers games. >> yeah, you know. but when you're an owner, you know, you can't do that, man. >> jimmy: you can't do that anymore. that's right. >> and i remember, miami was in town, you know, so lebron came
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up. "hey, what's up?" and i gave him a pound. you could hear the crowd go -- whoo, fwroen groaning. hey, hey! >> jimmy: i saw a clip, i knew you were coming, i saw it in england, and then this happened. >> oh, geez, what happened? oh, geez! oh, oh! [ laughter ] i know david beckham is a friend of yours. did he phone you about that? >> yeah, you know, that was one of them british soccer balls, man, you know? >> jimmy: we don't kick balls in america. we throw them. >> we throw, yeah. you know, yeah. >> jimmy: as god intended. >> yeah, no, that was pretty bad. i was in front of my son and the whole -- yeah, it was pretty bad. and i was like, aahh! that was tragedy. it was a tragedy. tragedy. >> jimmy: have your kids ever watched "the fresh prince of bel-air"? is that something, like, they would sit and look at? >> yeah, you know, they have seen them all, you know, but it's like, it's kind of hard for them to see their dad that way, you know?
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but willow liked it and, you know, my oldest son, trey, really liked it. so you know, it was a little strange, but -- >> jimmy: do you still have any of those clothes? did you hang on to any of that stuff? >> you know, i wish i had. i wish i had, because that style is coming back around now, you know? you see people with the fade cuts and all of that stuff, but yeah. i saw an episode, and i don't know how this happened, but i had a half shirt on. like, what? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's the madonna years. >> i was like, whoa, man. how the hell? what the hell? [ cheers and applause ] dude had a half shirt. that was like tragedy. oh, man. >> jimmy: now, this movie, "after earth," opening at number three. >> i know. >> jimmy: which for you -- most people are excited to be number three. that's not a good number for you. >> here's how i think about it, jimmy. let's be honest. three is the new one. [ laughter ]
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[ cheers and applause ] that's really good news for me. >> yeah. i mean, do you know how many ones it takes to make a three? [ laughter ] oh, man, that was tragic. i was like -- i was sitting at home, because, you know, you get the information, moment by moment, like, every hour, somebody's calling and telling you. i was like, uh-oh. you know, it's like, i felt like a fighter, you know? it's like it's been almost, like, two decades, since i had a movie that wasn't number one. >> jimmy: is that true? >> yeah. >> jimmy: two decades of number one? wow. >> well, that's over now, buddy. thanks. [ laughter ] i was like -- you know, i felt like, you know, like a fighter. i felt like i was the champ and i was walking to the ring, you know. >> jimmy: like manny pacquiao. then all of a sudden, out of nowhere -- >> yeah, and i was like -- >> jimmy: it happens every once in a while. but i'm very excited. i don't know if you're excited about it. >> yes, i will have a chinese chicken salad, um -- it was a mess.
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it was a tragedy. >> jimmy: what i am very excited about, a project we worked on together. >> yes, you know. >> jimmy: this is something that i had been chasing you around to do for a long time, and it's something that i wrote and directed myself, and you were nice enough to be a part of it. >> i was very happy to work with you on the project. >> jimmy: and since we had this big show, it would be a good time -- >> oh, good. you have the trailer? >> jimmy: yeah, to premiere the trailer for our new film together. >> yes. >> jimmy: will smith. take a look. >> they said it was impossible. they told him he would never make it. >> let's do this. >> but one man dared to dream. [ whistle blows ]
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>> no one said it would be easy. >> goal tend! >> what? on who? >> on him. >> that's a gatorade jug! >> play ball! >> hey, coach, it's not fair. >> you know what's not fair? being born without sight. [ whistle blows ] >> stop. foul, foul, foul! >> one man helped him discover that anything is possible. >> you know, maybe they're right. maybe a blind man can't be a referee. >> you can do this. now get out there and do your job. >> you're right. i can do this. you are the best friend i have ever had. you're not here anymore. okay. [ laughter ] >> the true vision lies within. [ whistle blows ] >> foul! traveling! charge! double dribble! three seconds!
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goal! goal! goal! goal! >> and fate would put him to the ultimate test. >> and with the lakers up four and the championship on the line all three referees just had fatal heart attacks. >> this game is now ref-less. >> hey! hey! is anybody a trained ref around here? >> this summer, a basketball story that will move you like no other. >> it's your time. make us proud. >> your eyes are blind, but your heart can see. >> thank you, mister -- ah -- world peace. >> let's do this. >> let's do it! i'm sorry. i was excited, excited, excited. >> will smith is -- >> foul! >> hey, ref! what are you, blind? >> yes. i am.
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>> "blind ref." >> high five. sorry. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i see an academy award. will smith, everybody! thank you very much. >> thank you. thank you, thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: all right. we'll see you later. he's leaving. >> thank you. >> jimmy: go see "after earth." it's in theaters now. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: i think it's time to get to the moment we've all been looking forward to. this little boy is titus ashby, known as trick shot titus, he is a youtube sensation making shot after shot. tonight he faces one of the great players of all time. [ cheers and applause ] if you like basketball and babies, you are in for a treat, we're about to find out what happens when a 2-year-old basketball phenom squared off against a 41-year-old nba legend. please welcome 15-time all-star and four-time nba champion shaquille o'neal! [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: now, shaq's opponent, accompanied by his father joseph. the pride of derby, kansas. trick shot titus ashby. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how you doing? now i'd like to make the introductions. titus, this is shaq. that's shaq. there you go. shaq, this is titus. and it is time now for "clash of the titus." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: gentlemen, take your places. each hoop is set exactly at each shooter's height. shaq's rim towers at 7'1", titus' at 3'0". gentlemen, you each have 30
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seconds, and when i say gentlemen, i mean baby. who wants to go first? shaq, you can pick. you want tight does too go first. titus, do you want to go first? okay, great, here we go. let's get titus. cousin sal will officiate. shaq come over here, shaq, no blocking, no foolishness. and here we go. are we ready? >> 30 seconds. >> jimmy: 30 seconds on the clock, and when the whistle blows, you start shooting, titus. okay? >> ready. get ready. >> jimmy: and here we go. ♪ >> nice and easy. nice and easy. all right.
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you can make it. >> keep going! >> jimmy: wow! nice job! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: shaq? the ultimate indignity. >> up here. >> jimmy: and here we go. it is time now. gentlemen, take your places. shaq, i will be feeding balls to you. please do not eat them. [ laughter ] shaq, you, too, will have 30 seconds. you have to beat titus' score of eight. do you feel ready to do this? >> of course. >> jimmy: do you feel confident? >> of course. >> jimmy: all right. let's put 30 seconds on the clock. and, cousin sal -- -- begin. ♪ just like the old days, right?
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>> you got to give me a better pass! you got to give me a better pass! >> four, three, two, one! >> jimmy: oh! not even close. >> nice job, buddy. >> jimmy: we have a winner. titus wins. congratulations. and shaq, i believe you have a gift for titus, true? titus, shaq has a gift for you. are you ready for a present? and here it is -- his shoe. you can go boating. i mean, you name it. right. thank you, shaq. thank you, titus. congratulations, gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live: game night,"
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presented by skype. tonight, seth rogen and nba scavenger hunt. plus kobe bryant versus a 2-year-old. and now in the paint, here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: thank you, very much, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for joining us here for our game two "game night" special. tonight the san antonio spurs visit the miami -- what is it, sound machine? no, the heat. that's right. they named it after what the old people there complain about all day. you know, heat fans wear matching white t-shirts to the games, which to me is a weird thing. white shirts at a -- it's the nba finals. it's not a family portrait at sears. [ laughter ] the heat and spurs also have two of the most unusual nba mascots. the heat mascot is named burnie. b-u-r-n-i-e. but the person who came up with burnie had to be high, right? i mean -- [ laughter ] it's like bird who's on fire, but instead of a beak he has a
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yellow basketball. i think this should be the heat mascot, the tan mom. right? talk about burning. we might be past burning. and if you think burnie is weird, this is the spurs' coyote. the spurs' coyote is the only team mascot with a meth problem. [ laughter ] here's a picture of the coyote with a kid. is the purpose of the spurs' coyote to give children nightmares? because if it is, he's doing a good job. tonight is a big night for television. the game is on opposite of both the season finale of "game of thrones" and the tony awards, which is a serious dilemma for the one person on earth who's into all three of those things. [ laughter ] we've got quite a show for you tonight. from the new movie "this is the end," seth rogen is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] seth, as you know, is a writer, director, producer and an actor. seth is the world's most productive stoner. and after that, the amazing toddler known as "trick shot titus" returns to face yet
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another worthy foe. tonight, titus takes on the black mamba himself, kobe bryant, who does not like to lose. especially to children under 3. so that will be fun. and before we do that, the nba players and personalities tend to be very active on twitter. and while twitter does give them an opportunity to connect with their fans, it also opens them up to a lot of criticism. some people have no problem tweeting terrible things to celebrities. and it can hurt. so tonight, we have some of the folks working in and around the nba to read some of the most unpleasant tweets ever written about them for a special nba edition of "mean tweets." >> what is the difference between ron artest and metta world peace? nothing, they are both huge pieces of [ bleep ]. >> has anyone noticed that chris
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paul has michael jackson's original nose? >> is it me or does rajon rondo look like the turtle named franklin or nick jr.? >> looks like the type of guy who will wax you sleeping. >> duck matt barnes. i think he meant to say [ bleep ]. if you're going to say that, spell it right. >> bob costas is a vampire, mark my words. >> blake griffin is still ugly as [ bleep ]. >> oh, wow, who was that from? >> andre iguodala sucks [ bleep ]. >> remember when kobe bryant used to dunk and it wasn't a surprise? every time he dunks it's a big deal. yeah, i remember that. >> greg anthony looks like a young person in costume as a
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grandfather. >> you in that buick commercial, you know you don't fit in that buick. that supposed to be mean? >> deandre jordan doesn't look like he knows how to read. well, i just read that, you [ bleep ]ing idiot. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, sorry, guys, tonight on the show, seth rogen is here, "trick shot titus" takes on kobe bryant. and when we come back, going head to head with the rappers. chris humphreys and rudy gay. an nba edition of our skype scavenger hunt. so find your way back. [ cheers and applause ] [ female announcer ] uncomfortable fact: millions of contact lens wearers
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try it on the turkey & bacon avocado. >> jimmy: we have a good show for you tonight, very funny movie "this is the end," seth rogen is here, and then, a 2-year-old basketball sensation, titus ashby, faces the greatest chafl his life against the great kobe bryant in "clash of the titus." before we get to all that, from time to time we play a game here on the show called the skype scavenger hunt. . we skype with them in their
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homes and have them race around to find things in the their house. usually we play with viewers but tonight since this is the game night show our contestants are nba players. joining us now from the toronto raptors, from his mother's house in baltimore, maryland, rudy gay is here with us. hello, rudy. with that last name i've sure you've heard all the jokes. >> i'm hearing some more because you said i was at my mom's house. >> jimmy: oh, i was told you were at your mom's house, is that not true? >> it's true. >> jimmy: it is true, all right, all right. also we have tonight from the brooklyn nets one of the original brooklyn nets kris humphries is with us. hello, kris. you've probably heard a lot of jokes too, right? >> no jokes. >> jimmy: we're not here to fool around, gentlemen, we're here to get down to business. shake virtual hands because it is time to play the skype is scavenger hunt. this is a simple game, i will
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ask you to find an item, your job is to bring it back as quickly as you can. are you ready? let's begin. your first challenge, bring back something worth more than $10,000, whoever comes back with it first wins. all right? all right, there they go. rudy seems like he knows what he is going to bring back, by the way, i don't think rudy's couch is worth more than a thousand dollars. all right. oh, here comes rudy. he's got something. he's ahead of kris. rudy, what do you have? oh, car keys, and kris, what do you have? all right. i'm not sure, we're going to have to get a ruling from the officials on that one. next up for round two, bring back a pet or a child. a pet or a child. bonus points if you bring
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more -- oh, all right. rudy, don't even bother. rudy, come back. oh, rudy -- where is that pet? in your sink? all right, okay, gentlemen, what happened to kris? oh -- that round goes to kris. your final challenge is to break something valuable in your home. whoever breaks the more valuable item, yes, that's right, rudy. and it is rudy's mom's house, too. all right. kris is scanning the area. rudy is looking around. rudy is going to get his head broken, too. nice looking at their places, really. it gives you real insight into the life of an nba star. okay, all right, all right, let's see what rudy has there. and we'll decide if it is indeed valuable. what do you have there? a blender -- >> it's already broke. >> i don't think you can even break that it's made of plastic, isn't it?
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>> no, it was already broke. >> jimmy: that doesn't count, what is kris doing? i think he's hungry. kris is making himself a snack right now. kris, what do you have there? >> i got some gluten-free bread. >> jimmy: you could win this, well, he broke bread, that is a nice thing to do between people. all right. i'm adding up the scores, and indeed, the winner is kris humphries. congratulations, kris. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy, for his big win tonight, kris humphreys wins a basketball. >> jimmy: oh, wow, i hope you don't already have one of those. thank you, kris. thank you, rudy. we will be right back with seth rogen! [ cheers and applause ]
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"this is the end." >> i hid in a drainpipe for days, like three or four. i don't even know how many. and then, i stopped hearing people, and i started hearing growling noises. >> out there in your travels -- uh, did you see anything that you would describe as apocalyptish? >> i mean, no. but i would say it's completely obvious what's going on here. i mean, it's a zombie invasion. >> i'm the one who said it's a zombie -- >> you said zombies? >> i said zombies the whole time. >> you said zombies? >> you never said zombies. >> jimmy: "this is the end" opens in theaters wednesday. please welcome seth rogen. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for being here. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: this is our special nba primetime show. >> it is. >> jimmy: do you have a horse in this race? is there a team that you root
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for? >> i literally don't know who's playing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you not a basketball fan? are you a sports fan? >> it's basketball? that's basketball that's happening right now? >> jimmy: the orange thing with the lines on it. >> is that what that is? >> jimmy: that is what it is, yeah. >> no, i'm not a big sports fan really. >> jimmy: even canadian sports? you know, like hockey or -- >> no, i wish i did, i just don't. i'm such a nerd. i don't like it. i just don't care where the thing goes. i just don't. [ laughter ] i wish i did. i don't. i watch people care. i'm like, i wish i cared. >> jimmy: your friends are interested in it? >> my friends love it! and i wish i could participate. they literally, like, ice me out of sports conversations. like, they don't even tell me what sport they're talking about. like, "oh, what are you guys talking about?" they're just like, "sports. don't worry about it." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you fake your way through these conversations? >> i used to try to fake my win in. i'd be like, "oh, yeah! that guys great at -- his average is good." i figure that's just a good thing to say, overall. guy's got a good overall average, right, in his sport of choice. >> jimmy: you were in a commercial during the super bowl with lebron james. >> yes, i was.
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>> jimmy: so are you maybe hoping he might win? did you hit it off with him? >> he plays basketball? >> jimmy: he does. yeah, yeah. >> okay, good. [ laughter ] i didn't meet him. he wasn't there. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> no, in the commercial, he's on a screen. and we make a joke in the commercial. he doesn't want to leave his house. he'll just do it on the screen. and that was true. he didn't want to leave his house, and so -- >> jimmy: was he supposed to be there with you? >> i thought he was going to be there. they said, lebron james is going to be there. and i don't even know sports, but i know he's famous. >> jimmy: he is, yeah. >> and so, i was excited. i know he gets his hair cut in that one commercial. i was like -- >> jimmy: oh, yeah. sure. >> the guy from the haircut ad. i love that guy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so you guys are very close. >> very close. >> jimmy: you know, i saw your movie, and i thought it was great. i loved it. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: you directed it and you act in it and you play yourself in it. >> i'm the cuter ben affleck. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: tell everybody what it is about because it's a very interesting idea. >> it's about a bunch of famous actors play themselves, and they are attending a party at
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james franco's house. so, it's like me and jonah hill and danny mcbride. and michael cera's in it and mindy kaling and emma watson is in it. and then, the apocalypse happens and a lot of people die. and the surviving people barricade themselves inside franco's house and try to survive the end of the world basically. it's one of those movies. >> jimmy: and it's very foolish, and it's very funny. >> it's ridiculous, yes. >> jimmy: but you shot it in new orleans. >> yeah. >> jimmy: which seems like a bad idea with that group of people in particular. >> i'm amazed they all survived. i made them all promise me, like, live until july! that was it. >> jimmy: because you have to be kind of the dad in this situation. >> it's crazy. yeah, i kind of had to be responsible. and if any of them died, we would have had to digitally replace them, which is very expensive. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right. >> jimmy: it as miracle that you returned from this particular set. >> it's literally crazy that no one who died in the movie died in real life. >> jimmy: you did something to market the movie, you asked
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james franco to paint a mural. >> we did. >> jimmy: well how did you come up with the idea? >> they said they had a wall that needed painting, we were like james franco will paint those walls. if anyone that will paint those, it's james franco. >> jimmy: here is a photograph -- >> and so he painted a mural for the movie. >> jimmy: yeah. i like the -- [ cheers and applause ] he went a little extreme with craig robinson on the end there. >> a little, yeah. he went dark. >> jimmy: by the way, he didn't do you any favors either. >> no, exactly. that's kind of how it is. it's not that different. from some angles, that's pretty accurate. >> jimmy: you seem to have -- you know what? i think you may have -- >> look at my arm. >> jimmy: you may have a tumor here. >> goiter. >> jimmy: well, the movie came out really great. you did a great job with it. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you very much. thank you. >> jimmy: it's called "this is the end." >> thank you. >> jimmy: it opens in theaters on wednesday. go see it. seth rogen, everybody! we'll be right back with trick shot titus versus kobe bryant.
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be a good one. you're about to find out what happens when a 2-year-old basketball hustler takes on one of the greatest players in the history of the nba. please welcome, from the los angeles lakers, 15-time all-star, kobe bryant. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i hope you're ready for this. this will be a tough test for you and for any man, really. kobe's opponent tonight, accompanied by his father, joseph, the pride of derby, kansas. a real-life diaper dandy. here he is, trick shot titus ashby. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: kobe, titus. joseph, titus, kobe, it is time
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now for "clash of the titus." >> clash of the titus! brought to you by state farm. >> jimmy: all right, now come over here, gentlemen. this is how it's going to work. behind you, we've got some hoops here. we got my cousin sal there. each of these hoops is set at exactly each shooter's height. so, kobe's rim stands at 6'6". titus' rim is at his height, which is 3'0". and titus is going to shoot from six feet away, kobe will be 18 feet away. each of you will have 30 seconds, and whoever makes the most shots wins. it's very simple. now, titus' dad, you're going to feed the balls to titus. >> yep. >> jimmy: kobe, i am adopting you for tonight. i will be your dad. >> all right. >> jimmy: i will feed the balls to you. are you guys ready to do this? [ cheers and applause ] all right, son, i'm very proud of you. cousin sal has the whistle. >> i was out back scouting him, man. >> jimmy: you were scouting him? of course you were scouting him. all right, titus, how do you feel right now? are you happy? >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay, good, all right.
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[ laughter ] all right. let's see how happy he will be at the end of this 30 seconds. cousin sal? >> all right, 30 seconds on the clock. you ready? shoot. >> jimmy: kobe, you're going to have to pick up the pace if you're going to beat this kid. >> jimmy: there we go. all right. kobe has four. all right. wow, that was a tough round, kobe. how do you feel right now? >> i was fouled. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, titus, would you like to step to the line? titus and his dad. [ cheers and applause ] kobe, come on over.
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you can stand right there. titus, are you ready to do this? >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you like to shoot basketballs? >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you think you can beat kobe? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you think -- will you conquer any man who stands in your way? [ cheers and applause ] all right, we'll take that as a yes. all right, cousin sal will put 30 seconds on the clock. >> all right, 30 seconds. i still can't get over how terrible he was. all right, ready and -- shoot! >> jimmy: and here goes titus. he misses the first.
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