tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC June 20, 2013 11:35pm-12:36am PDT
11:35 pm
11:36 pm
[ applause ] >> jimmy: who is ready to let love in tonight? anyone? [ applause ] >> jimmy: good, good, good, big night for the sports fan, between the miami heat and the san antonio spurs, when a series reaches game seven, both teams are winners for going so far. but in the actual concrete way, only one team is the winner, one is the loser. game seven is actually happening while we're taping this show. but i can't tell you how it ended. i can tell you how it started. it started tight at zero. there is a lot going on in the news right now with the game and the drones and -- game of drones, i guess, but -- that makes this an excellent time to go out on hollywood boulevard to mix with the pedestrians. the following question is, do you agree with the
11:37 pm
commissioner's decision to postpone game seven tonight because edward snowden leaked obama's plans to use drones to strike down the summer solstice? obviously that question makes no sense at all. but that doesn't mean that people won't answer it. here is our confusing question of the day. >> do you agree with the commissioner's decision to postpone game seven tonight because edward snowden leaked obama's plan to use drones to strike down the summer solstice? >> absolutely not? >> why not. >> because everybody has been waiting for this game, it is totally wrong. >> do you think we should use drones to strike down the summer s is -- solstice? >> i don't know if there is a way to destroy it, but something has to be done.
11:38 pm
>> and do you agree with the decision because of edward snowden's leak regarding the summer solstice? >> no, i don't. >> what have you been doing since? >> same. >> do you agree with the commissioner's decision to postpone game seven tonight because edward snowden leaked obama's plan to strike down the summer solstice? >> i don't think it is smart to actually postpone the game, because everybody has been really hyped up on it. also it is now tied 3-3, so it is very crucial, this game, i believe. and i feel like since they will have more of a break time that it won't be -- they both won't be as ready. >> and what did you think when you heard that dennis rodman became friends with the summer solstice? >> i don't approve of it. >> would you become friends with the summer solstice?
11:39 pm
>> no, i wouldn't? >> why not. >> because he is from north korea, and we don't socialize with north korea. >> do you agree with the commissioner's decision to postpone game seven tonight because edward snowden leaked obama's plan to use drones to strike down the summer solstice? >> man, i don't think this is the interview for me. man, that is okay, i'm cool. thank you. >> do you think using drones is too forceful of a message? >> definitely. >> what do you think should be used to strike down the summer solstice? >> just have police around the city, make sure everything is secure. >> how will this affect how much sunscreen you wear this summer? >> i don't think it will affect me that much. it wear sunscreen when i go out. it won't affect me at all. >> and to sum it up, do you have any idea what you're talking about? >> no. [ applause ]
11:40 pm
>> jimmy: oh, boy, we're in a lot of trouble. we are in a lot of trouble. the summer solstice, by the way, is nothing to fear, the longest day of the year, sun-wise, marks the first day of the year, which makes tonight summer's eve, which is unfortunate. summer is a lot of fun this is the festival in tennessee, going on every year. it happened last week, and they had a sign language expert on, i have seen a lot of signers at a lot of concerts. this one crushes them all. >> jimmy: i tell you something, that is a def jam right there.
11:41 pm
[ applause ] >> jimmy: some news today, some changes in the subway here in los angeles, quick show of hands, how many of you just found out we have a subway here in los angeles? we do, and up until today, payment was based on the honor system, before you got on the train you were supposed to buy a ticket but there was nothing to stop you from getting on the train without paying. which meant almost everybody got on the train without paying. but now you have to swipe a card to get through the turn stile, which i think is great, because if you want somebody to urinate, you should have to pay for it. the good news, we can only take one newspaper out of the vending machine. the chicago blackhawks and boston bruins are tied. the blackhawks beat the bruins in overtime last night, 6-5. it was an exciting end to an exciting game, but if you were
11:42 pm
watching it in austin, texas, this is what you saw instead of chicago's game-winning overtime goal. >> taken on by cane, that one is blocked. >> you have to love what you do at 2:00 in the morning. >> well, i couldn't ask for a better group of co-workers. >> save by cory crawford. >> jimmy: well, you have seen the goal before, just imagine what that might have looked like and you will fill in the blanks. i'll pass that along. facebook unveiled a major new upgrade to their hugely popular instagram today, the users can now post short videos and share them with their friends. so basically, facebook just came out with vine today. this truly is the golden age of wasting time, isn't it? this is great, this is from a
11:43 pm
documentary on the national geographical channel. it is called the science of sex, one interesting thing they did, what happens to a woman's brain during orgasm, and what is especially interesting is how they helped her achieve it. >> to help the scientists research, this woman is going to attempt to reach orgasm in the unisexy confines of a scanner. >> monica, are you in a position to start? >> i am. >> monica, start genital stimulation. >> jimmy: yeah, let me tell you something, his wife is a lucky lady. monica, start genital stimulation -- simulation. this is scary, not as scary as that. but a guy was out hunting, i'm not sure where, but he set up a
11:44 pm
little tree stand, he is up in the tree, which is okay except for the fact that bears can climb them. [ bleep ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: my feelings exactly. he should get a pulitzer prize for shooting that, should not he? it is time for our thursday night, tribute to the fcc, where we [ bleep ] and blur things, this week in unnecessary
11:45 pm
censorship. >> kim kardashian and kanye west are moving into a new mansion, and by the looks of things, their baby is going to have one giant [ bleep ]. >> anybody want to [ bleep ] some irs agents? >> your san antonio spurs. >> what i hear the governor saying is that she is [ bleep ] anthony weiner. >> as the saying goes, a texas woman named doherty baker. >> when i broke up with him -- >> how to walk into anybody's room. >> andrea mitchell in our d.c. room, thank you. >> people living in one portland area town are forming a [ bleep ] walk area watch. >> i would have [ bleep ] him last night at center court in front of everybody. >> it is too big, we better pull
11:46 pm
it out! [ applause ] >> jimmy: we are going to take a break, when we come back, anna paquin, brad keselowski, music from "muse." and the series finale from "the baby bachelor," we're going to remember this night forever, so stay with us. what's better, saving a bunch or not saving at all? [ kids ] a bunch! what would you buy with all this money you saved? i'd buy a change-o machine so i could change my brother into a puppy. change-o machine? couldn't you just buy an actual puppy? but if my brother's a puppy i could bring him to show and tell and say, "here's my puppy brother!" well when you say it like that it makes perfect sense. [ male announcer ] it's not complicated. saving is better. come to at&t and trade up to iphone 5. get it now for $99.99 when you trade in your current smartphone. ♪ you choose two seasonal favorites starting at $10.99.
11:47 pm
like a blackened sirloin with the wedge salad or lemon shrimp fettuccine and... [ male announcer ] you had us at $10.99. really? fist bump. [ male announcer ] applebee's new take two menu. two seasonal favorites, one amazing plate. see you tomorrow. ♪ ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] delta touch2o technology for your kitchen and bathroom. precisely in tune with every touch. see what delta can do. scootch. scoot over, please. you scoot over. [ orbit girl ] don't let food hang around. [ trumpet alert! ding! ] clean it up with sugar free orbit! fabulous. for that just-brushed clean feeling... ♪ eat, drink, chew orbit
11:48 pm
11:49 pm
11:51 pm
. >> previously, in baby bachelor history, this happened. and then this. and who could forget when this happened? and this, too. >> twinkle, little star. >> and then this, this, and most shocking of all, this. >> i don't trust it, you have another girlfriend, that is bad. >> no, it is not bad. it is not bad. >> and now, with just jesse and
11:52 pm
gabriellea, wesley and i sit down to talk about this life-changing, earth shattering decision. wesley you have been on an amazing journey this season. have you found the woman of your dreams? >> yes, my mommy. >> besides your mommy. >> oh, yes. >> are you ready to propose to one of the ladies? >> yes. >> well, you know what they say, if you like it then you should have put a ring on it. and so go do that. okay? you're going to make a great husband. it all comes down to this. who will wesley choose? in order for one heart to be fill, another must be forever
11:53 pm
11:54 pm
11:55 pm
did you poop? >> yeah. >> did you poop? >> no. >> okay, your husband pooped. and he can't see. this is hands-down, the worst wedding i have ever been to. [ applause ] congratulations to wes, and cleto's daughter, jesse, i think that makes them exterior in sis. we'll be right back with anna paquin, so stick around. the verizon share everything plan for small business
11:56 pm
lets you connect up to 25 devices on one easy to manage plan. that means your smartphone, her blackberry, his laptop, mark's smartphone... but i'm still on vacation... ...still on the plan. nice! so is his tablet, that guy's hotspot, the intern's tablet. the intern gets a tablet? everyone's devices. his, hers, oh sorry... all easier to manage on the share everything plan for small business. connecting more so you can do more. that's powerful. verizon. get the blackberry q10 for $199.99. [ male announcer ] introducing red lobster's seaside mix & match. combine any 2 from a wide variety of 7 exciting choices on one plate. all for just $12.99! but only for a limited time. i'm stewart harrington, and i sea food differently. but only for a limited time. hey guys. oh, hey. aiden was just showing me around the grounds. he's definitely getting a rose. oh yeah.
12:00 am
12:01 am
parade in london at the premiere of "world war z" coming out. music from muse. a great lineup for you next week, too, oh, look at this, next week on the show, our pal, channing tatum, annette benning, tony goldwyn, our first guest tonight is an oscar and golden globe winning actress, playing a waitr waitress whose love interests include vampires, on the very popular dating show, please say hello to anna paquin. [ applause ] >> jimmy: great to have you
12:02 am
here. >> thank you. >> jimmy: were you covered with bite marks and bodily fluids today at mark? >> no, but i was at 3:30 when we wrapped. >> jimmy: oh boy, oh boy, how much more of the season do you have to shoot? >> we are on the home stretch for shooting the last episode. and wrap early july. >> jimmy: and your husband, steven is on the show. >> i actually get to see him. >> jimmy: you get to see him, will you go on vacation this summer? >> honestly, i haven't thought about it. >> jimmy: well, let's work it out, hash it on line, you have two little babies, right? twins? >> i do. >> jimmy: which is actually easier, because they raise each other. >> not so much, no. >> jimmy: is it terrible having twins? you know what i mean. >> no, truly not, they're kind of like an assembly line. >> jimmy: so you can just knock them out. would you prefer having them at
12:03 am
once or space it out? >> i have nothing to compare it to. >> jimmy: it seems nice, although you probably get less sleep. >> yeah, sleep is not a big part of our life. >> jimmy: although your husband is a vampire, so it is -- >> it is not required. >> jimmy: as a celebrity couple do you find that the paparazzi is more suspend in gettiinteres photos of you -- >> yeah, it is called actors plus actors -- it is interesting because then i get to see these really lovely pictures of me looking apparently really miserable all the time with my kids. >> jimmy: well, why do you look miserable? >> well, apparently i do. i saw this thing on the internet, i think i really relate. it is called bitchy resting face. and apparently i really suffer from a severe case of bitcy r t
12:04 am
resting face. >> jimmy: what does it mean? >> well, basically it means if you're caught off guard, you look really angry, or like you're a giant bitch. and apparently that is the way i come across, i'm really happy, my like is good. >> jimmy: can you show me what the bitchy face looks like? >> well, now you're making me laugh. >> jimmy: we'll settle down, so you're not mad when you're doing that? >> no, no, my husband has the exact opposite, they don't consider that to be a real thing, so there is no psa about that. >> jimmy: happy -- >> when he is exhausted and tired he looks really happy. i look like the guilty mom. >> jimmy: is there one happy twin, one unhappy -- are there comedy masks in the crib? >> i'll get back to you on that. >> jimmy: that is really
12:05 am
interesting, you're saying you may look like you're upset, you are probably not perturbed. have you considered maybe training with the dallas cowboy cheerleaders, because they -- >> i am working on it. you know, apparently this is something i've had an issue with for a long time. you know, in high school i was really shy, which also comes across as bitchy resting face, which everybody thinks your stuck up, no, i'm just really shy. >> jimmy: but you're here to tell people you rarely even rest. >> but it is okay. >> jimmy: now, your show, a great show, very, very bloody, and you must have very crazy fans. do you get weird tributes? i'm sure you get artwork. >> yeah, people do send us stuff. my favorite was the porn parody which somebody did of our show, which is called tru -- >> jimmy: how can you tell the difference between the porn version of your show and the
12:06 am
actual show? >> really fine line, i think our wigs are better. >> jimmy: so you have not seen it? >> no, but we did buy it as a wrap gift for the cast and crew. >> jimmy: oh, really? how many people did you buy it for? >> well, about 300 -- >> jimmy: you bought 300 copies. >> i think it was like 200 and something of the porn parody. >> jimmy: i bet the clerk was overwhelmed. >> i think they contacted us, they didn't want to sell us that many copies, but we ended up getting them. that was fine. >> jimmy: and did you wrap them? >> no, hbo was giving us backpacks, so we just put them in the backpack. >> jimmy: well, that will be surprising if somebody re-gifts that to his niece. you had no interest in watching it, huh? >> well, you know, i mean, they're naked, i'm naked. >> jimmy: you have to make sure
12:07 am
she is doing it right -- >> i saw a nice picture of her on the back. she looks very pretty, very nice, she does a great job. >> jimmy: we're going to take a bre break, we have a clip, the show is called "true blood." anna paquin is here, we'll be right back. portions of jimmy kimmel live are brought to you by mr. peanut and energy mix, grab some go-tivation at ineedsomeenergy.com. police! freeze! hey! can we get you something to eat!? we have a delicious sea bass. served with roasted vegetables or rice. i like "and" better. yeah "and" is better. the 2013 edge. only ford gives you ecoboost fuel economy and a whole lot more. go further.
12:08 am
why let erectile dysfunction get in your way? talk to your doctor about viagra. ask if your heart is healthy enough for sex. do not take viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain; it may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure. side effects include headache, flushing, upset stomach, and abnormal vision. to avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than four hours. stop taking viagra and call your doctor right away if you experience a sudden decrease or loss in vision or hearing. this is the age of taking action. viagra. talk to your doctor. it's time...
12:09 am
for aveeno® positively radiant face moisturizer. [ female announcer ] only aveeno® has an active naturals total soy formula that instantly brightens skin. and helps reduce the look of brown spots in just 4 weeks. for healthy radiant skin. try it for a month. then go ahead and try to spot a spot. aveeno® positively radiant. naturally beautiful results. aveeno® positively radiant. announcer: lebron james and the heat looking to take the series.. okay little guy, let's check out the highlights. you know we have been undefeated since you came into the world? announcer: and what a win it was, it's pretty cool huh? announcelebron settling this one with a monster at the buzzer, lebron... announcer: ...miami continue their streak... you still watchin? good. buy a gs4 get a samsung galaxy tab 2 for $199. exclusively at at&t.
12:10 am
you so got it made. tons of fully-loaded 6 inch subs and 21 ounce drinks to choose from, just $4. all day, every day. ♪ subs made just the way i say ♪ i got it made yep, the spicy italian's included, the meatball marinara, the egg & cheese omelet and many more! and it's always made exactly the way you say. you so got it made. hurry in today for the new subway $4 lunch. ♪ at subway! ♪ it's four times the detail of hd. colors become richer. details become clearer. which for a filmmaker, changes everything. because now there are no more barriers between the world that i see and the ones i can show you. the sony 4k ultra hd tv.
12:13 am
. >> my -- whatever it is you're planning on doing with it. >> i'm tired of this. >> jimmy: that is anna paquin, and her husband, steven moyer, in "true blood." is that how you guys fight at home? >> yeah, that is just an average wednesday. >> jimmy: that is pretty great, i like that. i was talking with steven when he was here, you guys, there is a lot of sex scene, a lot of nudity in the show, sex scenes
12:14 am
which in -- in a way is great for your kids to have years down the road. but did your family watch this? >> well, my family does, there was one year, it was the premiere, i forgot, we were shooting the scene, and i forgot there were sex scenes in there, and i didn't tell him. >> jimmy: what was his reaction? was there vomiting? >> no, i don't think there was actual vomiting. but i'm sure that has has been awkward, and people that have known me since i was 12. and it was a little awkward. i always forget to warn people that oh, by the way, i'm going to be incredibly naked. i hope that is not going to be socially awkward for us later. >> jimmy: is it more awkward for them than it is you? >> yes, i think so. >> jimmy: well, yeah, because you did it already. the show is called "true blood."
12:16 am
to provide wholesome fuel to energize your day and it tastes great. thank you, mr. peanut. i needed this. good job. hey! planters. try new planters sustaining energy mix. wholesome food to energize your day. grab some at ineedsomeenergy.com. "off the beaten path"... he said. "trust me"... he implored. alas, she is beginning to seriously wonder... why she ever doubted... the booking genius. planet earth's number one accomodation site: booking.com booking.yeah!
12:17 am
a trillion billion zillion! that's pretty big. how bout you? 10. ok...how bout you? infinity! can you top that? infinity and one! actually, we are looking for infinity plus infinity. sorry. what about infinity times infinity?! oh! [ imitates explosion ] [ male announcer ] it's not complicated. bigger is better. and at&t has the nation's largest 4g network. ♪ ( crowd chatters and groans ) hunger creeping up on you ? stash a ritz crackerfuls. made with real cheese and whole grain. don't get caught hungry. ritz crackerfuls. there was this and this. she got a parking ticket... ♪ and she forgot to pay her credit card bill on time. good thing she's got the citi simplicity card. it doesn't charge late fees or a penalty rate. ever.
12:18 am
as in never ever. now about that parking ticket. [ grunting ] [ male announcer ] the citi simplicity card is the only card that never has late fees, a penalty rate, or an annual fee, ever. go to citi.com/simplicity to apply. you choose two seasonal favorites starting at $10.99. like a blackened sirloin with the wedge salad or lemon shrimp fettuccine and... [ male announcer ] you had us at $10.99. really? fist bump. [ male announcer ] applebee's new take two menu. two seasonal favorites, one amazing plate. see you tomorrow.
12:19 am
[ crunching ] [ trumpet alert! ] [ orbit girl ] don't let food hang around. [ laughs ] clean it up [ ding! ] with sugar free orbit! fabulous! for that just-brushed clean feeling... ♪ eat, drink, chew orbit that hasn't been cleared yet. ♪ uh! i just want to celebrate [ male announcer ] every time you say no to a cigarette you celebrate a little win. nicorette gum helps calm your cravings and makes you less irritable. double your chances of quitting.
12:20 am
[ engine revs ] ♪ [ male announcer ] just when you thought you had experienced performance, a new ride comes along and changes everything. ♪ the 2013 lexus gs, with a dynamically tuned suspension and adjustable drive modes. because the ultimate expression of power is control. this is the pursuit of perfection.
12:21 am
12:22 am
[ applause ] >> jimmy: thanks for coming, great to have you here. >> hey, man, great to be here, i have is been watching you since i was a kid. when you were on "the man show," i used to watch it with my dad. but it was a little awkward, because the final scene always seemed to be the scene where my mom walked in, what are you kids watching? nothing. >> jimmy: well, i'm sorry to have done that to your brain at that age. >> i'm not sorry, you should apologize to my mom. >> jimmy: i'm sorry, mom. you are from a racing family in general. >> yeah, i'm just a midwest guy, from detroit, yeah, my father and grandfather were in racing, here we are. >> jimmy: are you the kind of person who raced anything that you could get on top of? >> absolutely, you got anything you want to race? no, absolutely, i raced everything when i was growing up, it drove everybody crazy.
12:23 am
whether it was a test, i was the first one. >> jimmy: even to that extent? >> oh, absolutely, i didn't get anything right, but i should get something -- >> jimmy: did the teachers take that into account? >> never, they clearly didn't show the same spirit. >> jimmy: you were not a good student? >> i was an okay student, 2.0, that is solid, right? >> jimmy: do you need to be a good student to drive a race car? >> actually you do. >> jimmy: how does it work? >> well, most of the stuff you study in school is absolute crap. like honestly, look at the thing you learned in school, like what do i ever need that for? >> jimmy: like what specifically do you think you didn't need? >> geometry, that was the only class i failed, it drove me crazy. >> jimmy: and you didn't need it, turns out. >> believe it or not, no, you don't need geometry, it is all a
12:24 am
lie. >> jimmy: well, things have gone very well for you, you won the nascar title, you have done endorsement deals. you have your own -- i saw you once drinking a huge beer during a press conference. >> yes, that was me. yeah, i had a lot of fun with it. you win races, you win a championship. it is supposed to be fun this is what you worked so hard for. and i'm a big believer, you work hard, play hard. >> jimmy: do you have a lot of cars you drive at home? >> actually, no, i don't. we talked about that back stage, saying he has to have plenty of race cars, i don't. i drive for penske racing, we have like 80 for 100 race cars, i probably drive 40 of them a year. so when i get home, just like whatever i can drive, who cares? >> jimmy: it doesn't make a difference to you? >> no, i do have a mustang. >> jimmy: and that is it? do you get tickets? >> i haven't gotten a ticket in
12:25 am
a solid threeñi or four years. i don't know how. i should have, many, many times. >> jimmy: i hear you're planning to buy a tank. that is actually what i'm driving at. what kind of a tank? >> it is a hell cat, you know what it is? >> jimmy: well, i've seen it on the history channel. >> the hell cat, believe it or not is the fastest tank since world war ii. and i feel like i should be able to get on the road, drive it to work one day. >> jimmy: where do you get a hell cat? >> i am really into the military, i have a lot of friends that served. so i called them up, can you help me out. yeah. >> jimmy: and how much does a hell cat cost? >> i'm kind of ashamed of it, like 100 k -- >> jimmy: what do you do with it? do you invade walmart? >> here is my story on the tank, when i first got the house i
12:26 am
live in now, somebody broke into it and stole all of my stuff. so i'm like going to buy this tank, park it at the edge of my driveway, and no one will ever try to break into my house again. what do you think? >> jimmy: will it be armed? >> it will be armed. >> jimmy: yeah, what is the point of having a tank if it is not armed? >> i'm thinking of a little machine gun, something like that. >> jimmy: that is the greatest ever, and are you going to drive it? >> no, this is a lawn tank, i'm trying to find a practical reason, but i really can't. >> jimmy: i think that will be good for you. i also want to ask you about this. because this is a notorious photograph that you took from your race car during a race. >> i was stopped. i'm just going to go ahead and say that. i know there is a mom watching -- oh, my god, he took a
12:27 am
picture. so i was stopped. there is a giant fire ball out there. this driver was competing. he kind of lost control of his car, and he hit a jet drier, like an engine full of jet fuel, so i was stopped. biggest race of the year, daytona 500, so i thought well, i have my phone with me here, let me get it out. >> jimmy: you carry your phone. and do people call and text you when you're racing? >> absolutely, all the time. what really drives me crazy, they tweet me, can you answer me back? like hold it, stop. >> jimmy: do you have the pocket suits -- >> i had a lot of fun with it. after a while, nascar made me stop doing it. the fun police kicked in, no more fun. >> jimmy: are they restrictive, do you find they are overly restrictive? >> no, officer, i got a lot of fines lately, so i'm trying tore careful. >> jimmy: in a way, it makes
12:28 am
sense, they don't want to call asking for directions during the race. >> left, left, left. [ applause ] >> jimmy: wow, when you get that thank you got to shoot video of that and come back when you get the tank. i would like to be a part of the tank experience. >> i want to run over something, i just can't figure out what. >> jimmy: oh, you can run over guillermo. oh, he already left. i don't blame him. well, it is great to have you here, you're going to be racing this weekend. you can watch brad this sunday, 3:00 eastern time sunday. brad keselowski everybody. we'll be right back.
12:31 am
12:32 am
12:33 am
12:34 am
12:35 am
382 Views
IN COLLECTIONS
KGO (ABC)Uploaded by TV Archive on
![](http://athena.archive.org/0.gif?kind=track_js&track_js_case=control&cache_bust=1466624404)