jimmy kimmel live. tonight, anna paquin, and nascar champion, brad keselowski, the finale of "the baby bachelor." and music from muse. with cleto and the cletones. and now, batten the hatches, here is jimmy kimmel! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello everyone, thank you for watching. thank you for coming. [ applause ]

>> jimmy: who is ready to let love in tonight? anyone? [ applause ] >> jimmy: good, good, good, big night for the sports fan, game seven of the nba finals between the miami heat and the san antonio spurs. you know, when a series reaches game seven, both teams are winners for going so far. but in the actual concrete way, only one team is the winner, one is the loser. game seven is actually happening while we're taping this show. but i can't tell you how it ended. i can tell you how it started. it started tight at zero. there is a lot going on in the news right now with the game and the drones and -- game of drones, i guess, but -- that makes this an excellent time to go out on hollywood boulevard to mix with the pedestrians. the following question is, do you agree with the commissioner's decision to postpone game seven tonight because edward snowden leaked

obama's plans to use drones to strike down the summer solstice? obviously that question makes no sense at all. but that doesn't mean that people won't answer it. here is our confusing question of the day. >> do you agree with the commissioner's decision to postpone game seven tonight because edward snowden leaked obama's plan to use drones to strike down the summer solstice? >> absolutely not? >> why not. >> totally unfair, people have been waiting for this game for how long? >> do you think we should use drones to strike down the summer solstice? >> i don't know if there is a way to destroy it, but something has to be done. >> and do you agree with the decision because of edward snowden's leak regarding the

drones used to strike down the summer solstice? >> no, i don't >> what have you been doing since? >> same. >> do you agree with the commissioner's decision to postpone game seven tonight because edward snowden leaked obama's plan to use drones to strike down the summer solstice? >> i don't think it is smart to actually postpone the game, because everybody has been really hyped up on it. also it is now tied 3-3, so it is very crucial, this game, i believe. and i feel like since they will have more of a break time that it won't be -- they both won't be as ready. >> and what did you think when you heard that dennis rodman became friends with the summer solstice? >> i don't approve of it. >> would you become friends with the summer solstice? >> no, i wouldn't? >> why not. >> because he is from north korea, and we don't socialize with north korea.

>> do you agree with the commissioner's decision to postpone game seven tonight because edward snowden leaked obama's plan to use drones to strike down the summer solstice? >> man, i don't think this is the interview for me. man, that is okay, i'm cool. thank you. >> do you think using drones is too forceful of a message? >> definitely. >> what do you think should be used to strike down the summer solstice? >> just have police around the city, make sure everything is secure. >> how will this affect how much sunscreen you wear this summer? >> i don't think it will affect me that much. i wear sunscreen when i go out. it won't affect me at all. >> and to sum it up, do you have any idea what you're talking about? >> no. [ applause ] >> jimmy: oh, boy, we're in a lot of trouble. we are in a lot of trouble.

the summer solstice, by the way, is nothing to fear, the longest day of the year, sun-wise, marks the first day of summer, summer is officially begins tomorrow, which makes tonight summer's eve, which is unfortunate. summer is a lot of fun this is the festival in tennessee, going on every year. it happened last week, and they had a sign language expert on, i have seen a lot of signers at a lot of concerts. this one crushes them all. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: i tell you something, that is a def jam right there. [ applause ] >> jimmy: some news today, some changes in the subway here in

los angeles, quick show of hands, how many of you just found out we have a subway here in los angeles? we do, and up until today, payment was based on the honor system, before you got on the train you were supposed to buy a ticket but there was nothing to stop you from getting on the train without paying. which meant almost everybody got on the train without paying. but now you have to swipe a card to get through the turn stile, which i think is great, because if you want somebody to urinate, near you underground, i think you should have to pay for it. the good news, we can only take one newspaper out of the vending machine and only pay for one. the chicago blackhawks and boston bruins are tied. that is at two games apiece. the blackhawks beat the bruins in overtime last night, 6-5. it was an exciting end to an exciting game, but if you were watching it in austin, texas, this is what you saw instead of chicago's game-winning overtime goal.

>> taken on by kane. that one is blocked. >> you have to love what you do at 2:00 in the morning. >> well, i couldn't ask for a better group of co-workers. >> save by cory crawford. >> jimmy: well, you have seen the goal before, just imagine what that might have looked like and you will fill in the blanks. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'll pass that along. facebook unveiled a major new upgrade to their hugely popular instagram today, the users can now post short videos and share them with their friends. so basically, facebook just came out with vine today. this truly is the golden age of wasting time, isn't it? this is great, this is from a documentary on the national

geographic channel. it is called the science of sex, one interesting thing they did, what happens to a woman's brain during orgasm, and what is especially interesting is how they helped her achieve it. >> to help the scientists research, this woman is going to attempt to reach orgasm in the unsexy confines of a mri scanner. >> monica, are you in a position to start? >> i am. >> monica, start genital stimulation. >> jimmy: yeah, let me tell you something, his wife is a lucky lady. monica, start genital stimulation -- simulation. this is scary, not as scary as that. but a guy was out hunting, i'm not sure where, but he set up a little tree stand, he is up in the tree, which is okay except for the fact that bears can climb them.

[ bleep ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: my feelings exactly. he should get a pulitzer prize for shooting that, he should? it is time for our thursday night, tribute to the fcc, where we [ bleep ] and blur things, this week in unnecessary censorship. >> kim kardashian and kanye west are moving into a new mansion, and by the looks of things, their baby is going to have one giant [ bleep ]. >> anybody want to [ bleep ]

some irs agents? >> your san antonio spurs. >> what i hear the governor saying is that she is [ bleep ] anthony weiner. >> as the saying goes, a texas woman named doherty baker. >> when i broke up with him -- that is when he wanted to slap a [ bleep ] in my face. >> how to walk into anybody's room. >> andrea mitchell in our d.c. room, thank you. >> people living in one portland area town are forming a [ bleep ] walk area watch. >> i would have [ bleep ] him last night at center court in front of everybody. >> it is too big, we better pull it out! [ applause ] >> jimmy: we are going to take a break, when we come back, anna paquin, brad keselowski, music from "muse."

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>> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back, brad keselowski, and muse are ready to go, before we get to them i would like to take some time out for romance, my nephew, wesley, has been on the quest for love, he is 3 years old, never been on a quest for love. so three months ago, we went on a search to find wesley a wife.

and opportunity, this is episode five of "the baby bachelor "first came the bachelor. >> previously, in baby bachelor history, this happened. and then this. and who could forget when this happened? and this, too. >> twinkle, little star. >> and then this, this, and most shocking of all, this. >> i don't trust it, you have another girlfriend, that is bad. >> no, it is not bad. it is not bad. >> and now, with just jesse and gabriellea, wesley and i sit down to talk about this final ñimomentous,

earth-shattering life-changing decision. wesley you have been on an amazing journey this season. have you found the woman of your dreams? >> yes, my mommy. >> besides your mommy. >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: are you ready to propose to one of the ladies? >> yes. >> jimmy: well, you know what they say, if you like it then you should have put a ring on it. and so go do that. okay? you're going to make a great husband. it all comes down to this. who will wesley choose? in order for one heart to be filled, another must be forever destroyed. >> hi wesley.

it's good to see you. i missed you. he couldn't even face me. he wouldn't look at me. good-bye. my heart has broken into a million pieces. see you later, daddy. oh. ♪ ♪ wesley!

i'm looking for a super daddy. >> congratulations, you too. let's make it official, shall we? jesse? put this on you. wesley, jesse, do you take wesley to be your lawfully wedded husband? >> i do. >> jimmy: wesley, do you takeçó jesse to be your lawfully wedded wife? did you poop? >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you poop? >> no.

>> jimmy: okay, your husband pooped. and he can't see. this is hands down the worst wedding i have ever been to. [ applause ] congratulations to wes, and cleto's daughter, jesse, i think that makes them sister-in-laws. we have nascar champion brad keselowski here, we have music from muse, and we'll be right back with anna paquin.

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>> jimmy: welcome back, tonight on the program, you can see him driving, brad keselowski is here. interesting thing about brad, i'm told he is buying a tank for his personal use. so we'll ask him about that. and then music from a great band performing all the way from the horse guards parade in london at the premiere of world war z,

co coming out tomorrow. we have music from muse tonight. a great lineup for you next week, too, oh, look at this, next week on the show, our pal, channing tatum, annette benning, tony goldwyn, our first guest tonight is an oscar and golden globe winning actress, playing a waitress whose love interests include vampires, on the very popular dating show "true blood," please say hello to anna paquin. [ applause ] >> jimmy: great to have you here. >> thank you. >> jimmy: were you covered with bite marks and bodily fluids

today at work? >> no, but i was at 3:30 when we wrapped. >> jimmy: oh boy, oh boy, how much more of the season do you have to shoot? >> we are on the home stretch for shooting the last episode. and wrap early july. >> jimmy: and your husband, steven is on the show. which is nice >> i actually get to see him. >> jimmy: you get to see him, will you go on vacation this summer? >> honestly, i haven't thought about it. >> jimmy: well, let's work it out, hash it on line, you have two little babies, right? twins? >> i do. >> jimmy: which is actually easier, because they raise each other. >> not so much, no. >> jimmy: is it terrible having twins? >> no. >> jimmy: you know what i mean >> no, truly not, they're kind of like an assembly line. >> jimmy: so you can just knock them out. would you prefer having them at once or space it out? >> i have nothing to compare it to. >> jimmy: it seems nice, although you probably get less sleep. >> yeah, sleep is not a big part of our life. >> jimmy: although your husband

is a vampire, so it is -- it is really not an issue. >> it is not required. >> jimmy: as a celebrity couple do you find that the paparazzi is more interested in getting photos of you -- and your children and that kind of stuff in? >> yeah, it is called actors plus actors -- it is interesting because then i get to see these really lovely pictures of me looking apparently really miserable all the time with my kids. >> jimmy: well, why do you look miserable? >> well, apparently i do. i saw this thing on the internet, i think i really relate. it is called bitchy resting face. and apparently i really suffer from a severe case of bitchy resting face. >> jimmy: what does it mean? >> well, basically it means if you're caught off guard, you look really angry, or like you're a giant bitch. and apparently that is the way i

come across, i'm really happy, my life is good. >> jimmy: can you show me what the bitchy face looks like? >> well, now you're making me laugh. >> jimmy: we'll settle down, so you're not mad when you're doing that? >> no, no, my husband has the exact opposite, they don't consider that to be a real thing, so there is no psa about that. >> jimmy: happy -- >> when he is exhausted and tired he looks really happy. which is kind of annoying. because i look like the guilty mom. >> jimmy: is there one happy twin, one unhappy -- are there comedy masks in the crib? >> i'll get back to you on that. >> jimmy: that is really interesting, you're saying you may look like you're upset, you are probably not perturbed. >> no . >> jimmy: have you considered

maybe training with the dallas cowboy cheerleaders, because they -- >> i am working on it. you know, apparently this is something i've had an issue with for a long time. you know, in high school i was really shy, which also comes across as bitchy resting face, which everybody thinks your stuck up, no, i'm just really shy. >> jimmy: but you're here to tell people you rarely even rest. >> but it is okay. >> jimmy: now, your show, a great show, very, very bloody, and you must have very crazy fans. do you get weird tributes? i'm sure you get artwork. >> yeah, people do send us stuff. my favorite was the porn parody which somebody did of our show, and it was -- i have actually never seen it. >> jimmy: how can you tell the difference between the porn version of your show and the actual show? >> really fine line, i think our wigs are better. >> jimmy: so you have not seen it? >> no, but we did buy it as a wrap gift for the cast and crew.

>> jimmy: oh, really? how many people did you buy it for? >> well, about 300 -- when you combine everybody from the office, everybody on set. >> jimmy: you bought 300 copies. >> i think it was like 200 and something of the "true blood" parody. >> jimmy: i bet the clerk was overwhelmed. >> i think they contacted us, they didn't want to sell us that many copies, but we ended up getting them. that was fine. >> jimmy: and did you wrap them? >> no, hbo was giving us backpacks, so we just put them in the backpack. >> jimmy: well, that will be surprising if somebody re-gifts that to his niece. you had no interest in watching it, huh? >> well, you know, i mean, they're naked, i'm naked. >> jimmy: you have to make sure she is doing it right -- >> i saw a nice picture of her on the back. she looks very pretty, very nice, she does a great job. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break, we have a clip, the show is called "true blood."

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. >> you really believe you're god. you're not god, bill.

>> my -- whatever it is you're planning on doing with it. >> i'm tired of this. >> jimmy: that is anna paquin, and her husband, steven moyer, in "true blood." is that how you guys fight at home? >> yeah, that is just an average wednesday. >> jimmy: that is pretty great, i like that. i was talking with steven when he was here, you guys, there is a lot of sex scenes, a lot of nudity in the show, sex scenes which in -- in a way is great for your kids to have years down the road. but did your family watch this? >> well, my family does, there was one year, it was the premiere, i forgot, we were shooting the scene, and i forgot there were sex scenes in there, and i didn't tell him. >> jimmy: is your brother older or younger?

>> he is older than me. >> jimmy: what was his reaction? was there vomiting? >> no, i don't think there was actual vomiting. but i'm sure that has has been awkward, and people that have known me since i was 12. and it was a little awkward. i always forget to warn people that oh, by the way, i'm going to be incredibly naked. i hope that is not going to be socially awkward for us later. >> jimmy: is it more awkward for them than it is you? >> i think it is, probably >> jimmy: well, yeah, because you did it already. well, it is great to have you here. the show is called "true blood." sunday nights, anna paquin, everybody. we'll be right back with brad keselowski. ♪ ♪ >> hi, i'm jimmy kimmel, and this is guillermo, every day, countless babies are born with

unfortunate names, leading to a life of ridicule. guillermo and i are working to uncover some of these unfortunate names. guillermo, would you like to share what we found? >> yes. donaton, dolonius. samuel. digito, kinella. >> jimmy: kilos. >> samanda. fidora. tuisha. navarious. >> jimmy: this is going to go on forever, isn't it? >> chichia.

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>> jimmy: welcome, our musical guest is muse, they will be with us shortly. and last year, our next guest became famous, when he tweeted from his vehicle during a race. oprah would not approve. he went on to win the nascar sprint cup title. please say hello to brad keselowski. [ applause ] >> jimmy: thanks for coming, great to have you here. >> hey, man, great to be here, i have been watching you since i was a kid. when you were on "the man show,"

i used to watch it with my dad. but it was a little awkward, because the final scene always seemed to be the scene where my mom walked in, what are you kids watching? nothing. >> jimmy: well, i'm sorry to have done that to your brain at that age. >> i'm not sorry, you should apologize to my mom. >> jimmy: i'm sorry, mom. you are from a racing family in general. >> yeah, i'm just a midwest guy, from detroit, yeah, my father and grandfather were in racing, here we are. >> jimmy: are you the kind of person who raced anything that you could get on top of? >> absolutely, you got anything you want to race? no, absolutely, i raced everything when i was growing up, it drove everybody crazy. whether it was a test, i was the first one. >> jimmy: even to that extent? >> oh, absolutely, i didn't get anything right, but i should get something -- i was the first one to turn it in. >> jimmy: did the teachers take that into account? >> never, they clearly didn't

show the same spirit. >> jimmy: you were not a good student? >> i was an okay student, 2.0, that is solid, right? >> jimmy: do you need to be a good student to drive a race car? >> actually you do. >> jimmy: how does it work? >> well, most of the stuff you study in school is absolute crap. like honestly, look at the thing you learned in school, like what do i ever need that for? >> jimmy: like what specifically do you think you didn't need? >> geometry, that was the only class i failed, it drove me crazy. i could never get it right, jimmy. >> jimmy: and you didn't need it, turns out. >> believe it or not, no, you don't need geometry, it is all a lie. >> jimmy: well, things have gone very well for you, you won the nascar title, you have done endorsement deals. [ applause ] >> thank you

. >> jimmy: you have your own -- i saw you once drinking a huge beer during a press conference. >> yes, that was me. yeah, i had a lot of fun with it. you win races, you win a championship. it is supposed to be fun this is what you worked so hard for. and i'm a big believer, you work hard, play hard. >> jimmy: do you have a lot of cars you drive at home? >> actually, no, i don't. we talked about that back stage, saying he has to have plenty of race cars, i don't. i drive for penske racing, we have like 80 to 100 race cars, i probably drive 40 of them a year. so when i get home, just like whatever i can drive, who cares? >> jimmy: it doesn't make a difference to you? >> no, i do have a mustang. >> jimmy: and that is it? do you get tickets? >> i haven't gotten a ticket in a solid three or four years. i don't know how. i should have, many, many times. >> jimmy: i hear you're planning to buy a tank. that is actually what i'm driving at. what kind of a tank? >> it is a hell cat, you know what it is? >> jimmy: well, i've seen it on

the history channel. >> the hell cat, believe it or not is the fastest tank since world war ii. and i feel like i should be able to get on the road, drive it to work one day. >> jimmy: where do you get a hell cat? on ebay or craigslist? or where do they have them? >> i am really into the military, i have a lot of friends that served. so i called them up, can you help me out. yeah. >> jimmy: and how much does a hell cat cost? >> i'm kind of ashamed of it, like 200 k -- >> jimmy: what do you do with it? do you invade walmart? >> here is my story on the tank, when i first got the house i live in now, somebody broke into it and stole all of my stuff. so i'm like going to buy this tank, park it at the edge of my driveway, and no one will ever try to break into my house again. what do you think? >> jimmy: will it be armed?

>> well, it is not supposed to be armed, but it will be armed. >> jimmy: yeah, what is the point of having a tank if it is not armed? >> i'm thinking of a little machine gun, something like that. >> jimmy: that is the greatest ever, and are you going to drive it? >> no, this is a lawn tank, i'm trying to find a practical reason, but i really can't. >> jimmy: i think that will be good for you. i also want to ask you about this. because this is a notorious photograph that you took from your race car during a race. >> i was stopped. i'm just going to go ahead and say that. i know there is a mom watching -- oh, my god, he took a picture. so i was stopped. there is a giant fire ball out there. this driver was competing. he kind of lost control of his car, and he hit a jet drier, like an engine full of jet fuel, and it exploded, this huge fire ball.

so i was stopped. biggest race of the year, daytona 500, so i thought well, i have my phone with me here, let me get it out. >> jimmy: you carry your phone. and do people call and text you when you're racing? >> absolutely, all the time. what really drives me crazy, they tweet me, can you answer me back? like hold it, stop. >> jimmy: do you have the pocket suits -- >> i had a lot of fun with it. after a while, nascar made me stop doing it. >> jimmy: oh, they had a problem with it? >> yeah, the fun police kicked in, no more fun. >> jimmy: are they restrictive, do you find they are overly restrictive? >> no, officer, i got a lot of fines lately, so i'm trying to be careful. >> jimmy: in a way, it makes sense, they don't want to call asking for directions during the race. >> left, left, left. [ applause ] >> jimmy: wow, when you get that tank, you have to shoot video

when you get that tank and come back when you get it. i would like to be a part of the tank experience. >> i want to run over something, i just can't figure out what. >> jimmy: oh, you can run over guillermo. oh, he already left. i don't blame him. well, it is great to have you here, you're going to be racing this weekend. you can watch brad this sunday, 3:00 eastern time sunday. brad keselowski everybody. we'll be right back with muse.

>> jimmy: their album is right here, called the second law, the song is called "follow me" from the world war z premiere in london, muse. [ applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ when you scared and you're lost.

i'm coming to hold you now ♪ when all your strength has gone ♪ and you feel wrong, like your life has slipped away ♪ follow me. you can follow me. ♪ and i will not desert you now ♪

when your fire's died out ♪ no one's there, they have left you for dead ♪ follow me. you can follow me. ♪ i will keep you safe, follow me. you can follow me. i will protect you ♪ i won't let them hurt, they're hurting you, no ♪

ooh yeah. when your heart is breaking. you can follow me. you can follow me ♪ i will always keep you safe. follow me. you can trust in me. i will always protect you, my love, i will always keep you safe. feel my love.

feel my love. ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: i want to thank anna paquin and brad keselowski. i want to apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time, i'm very sorry. you can see the full performance at jimmy kimmel live.com. once again, from the london premiere of "world war z." muse, good night. ♪ ♪ ♪ ooooh, fall away, fall away from

the memories ♪ of the people who care. i will be chasing you starlight ♪ until the end of my life. i don't know if it is worth it anymore ♪ hold you in my arms, i just wanted to hold you in my arms ♪ ♪ my life,