>> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- johnny depp. rebecca romijn. and cooking with steve martorano. with cleto and the cletones. and now, what do you know? here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you very much. thank you for watching. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for coming tonight.

i happen to know for a fact that a lot of you are really -- are primarily here for the air-conditioning. but that's okay. [ laughter ] it's too hot. and i have to say, i hate to point fingers, but i blame the sun. i really do. [ laughter ] you know, if we leave now, we could snuff it out while it's sleeping. [ laughter ] it was over 100 degrees at guillermo's house this week. was that terrible, guillermo? >> it was not too bad. >> jimmy: not too bad? [ cheers and applause ] did you put something -- is there something in those underpants? besides the obvious. [ laughter ] you did not stuff your underpants? >> yeah, i did. >> jimmy: you did. what did you -- what did you put in there? >> a small towel. [ laughter ]

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a small towel. let's have that destroyed, okay? there's not enough talk about your knees. >> thank you. i work out. >> jimmy: go change back into your regular clothes, will you? >> all right. >> jimmy: very good. it was so hot in l.a. today you could cook a tofu-based cruelty-free egg substitute on the sidewalk. [ laughter ] six half-marathon runners were hospitalized yesterday for running in 100 degree heat. they were rushed to a mental hospital. [ laughter ] on saturday phoenix had its fourth hottest day in 110 years since records have been kept. the high was 119 degrees. the low was 91. 119 to 91. that's not a temperature range. it's a basketball score. [ laughter ] one of our local news channels in l.a. was at a youth swimming club in la mirada. watch this as reporter hal

eisner learns the extreme importance of the words get set. >> members of the la mirada armada swim team. wait for everybody to take off. on your mark, go. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. on the count of three, everyone. three. i feel sorry for his wife, actually. [ laughter ] we have a lot going on tonight. rebecca romijn is with us. [ cheers and applause ] we're actually going to make mozzarella cheese with steve martorano. and the great johnny depp is here. [ cheers and applause ] as if it wasn't hot enough already, right, ladies? you know, starting last friday here in california, same-sex couples were legally allowed to get married. [ cheers and applause ] now, same-sex couples become no-sex couples like the rest of us. [ laughter ] but there's a group called the family research council that's

very unhappy about this. they're very much against gay marriage. and they organized a prayer event yesterday. this is how they advertised it. this is real. "on our knees for america." and of course that little guy, he's definitely praying, right? there's no other way to interpret that. [ laughter ] you notice here in red it says "i'm in." [ laughter ] they were going to go with just the tip but they decided "i'm in." this is a story from russia. a reporter for the russia today network with a very unrussian name, tom barton, was covering a protest in turkey. its with a dangerous situation, but it earned him the distinction of being named tonight's recipient of our award for excellence in reporting. ♪ >> here come the police to break up another night of protests here in ankara. and here's the water cannon just coming in as well. it's not known whether these protests -- it's not known

whether these protests -- >> jimmy: it won't ever be known. [ applause ] this is a weird story. you don't hear about innovations in the funeral business much, but carl eggleston, he owns the oliver & eggleston funeral establishment in farmville, virginia. just added a drive-thru to his funeral home. you drive up to the window, view the body, and then drive to the next window to pick up your fries. i don't know exactly. there really is. there's a special window on the side of the funeral home where they'll put an open casket so you can pay loved ones the same kind of respect you'd pay an egg mcmuffin. [ laughter ] it's a great way to say i care but not enough to get out of my car. the problem with funeral drive-thrus is half the time you go they put the wrong dead relative in the window. [ laughter ] the oefwner said he's try to ke up with the times. which makes sense because

drive-thru food is probably what killed a lot of these people. [ laughter ] some things are unnecessary. hey, good news, the lord gifted us with a new episode of "the bachelorette" tonight here on abc. bachelorette desiree. have you been following her? [ cheers and applause ] she traveled all the way to barcelona, where she whittled down her stable of suitors from eight to five. she is now out of nicks completely and down to the very last zack. i'm not sure why, but on one of the group dates tonight all the guys were inexplicably dressed alike. >> tonight, on the most dramatic episode of "the bachelorette" yet, desiree has to decide which guy in a hoodie she wants to spend the rest of her life with. will it be the guy in the gray one, the blue one, the red one, the green one, the plum one, the striped one, the darker gray one, with the weird towel thing around his neck, the darker blue one, or the invisible one?

an all new "bachelorette," only on abc. >> jimmy: it looks so much like a field trip to american apparel. desiree hit a real home run tonight. she's getting ready for her one-on-one date with a guy named drew. she's talking about how great she thinks drew is. and in doing so gave us this nugget of reality show gold. >> he's so romantic, and passionate about romance. >> jimmy: romantic about romance. and passionate about passion too. [ laughter ] apple has just applied for a new trademark that has a lot of people talking. in japan apple's seeking the copyright of a phrase iwatch which has people speculating apple is seeking a patent on a new wristwatch. at this point apple should trademark the letter i. apple hasn't commented on the iwatch rumors but some people

say this could revolutionize the way we ignore each other in elevators. [ laughter ] lyrics in rap songs, well, you know what they can be. they can be filthy and ridiculous. and sometimes i wonder, when i'm thinking of rappers, what do their mothers think? what do the women who gave birth to these songwriters think of the songs they write? are they mad? are they embarrassed? they want to wash their mouths out with soap? maybe they love it. i don't know. to find out we contacted a very popular hip-hop artist named big sean and we asked his mom to read some of his actual lyrics aloud. and, well, here is that now. ♪ >> i'm big sean's mother. this is his song "dance." ass, ass, ass, ass, ass. ass, ass, ass, ass, ass. ass, ass, ass. ass, ass ass ass ass ass.

stop. now make that [ bleep ] hammer time. that's my boy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: remarkable. we need to take a break. i have errands to run. but when we come back, we're going to see some pedestrians in bikinis, plus johnny depp, rebecca romijn, and we're going to make cheese. that's right. with steve martorano. [ cheers and applause ] applebee's new take two seasonal menu lets you choose two of five seasonal favorites starting at just $10.99. [ male announcer ] that sounds like a lot of choices. exactly! and the flavors complement each other perfectly. like our new blackened sirloin with the green goddess wedge salad or lemon shrimp fettuccine and seasonal berry spinach salad. ohh, the garlic rosemary chicken pasta... [ male announcer ] woah, woah, chef? you had us at two seasonal favorites starting at $10.99. really? fist bump.

[ male announcer ] nice! applebee's new take two menu. two seasonal favorites, one amazing plate. starting at just $10.99. see you tomorrow. and late night for half-priced apps. starting at just $10.99. hey guys. oh, hey. aiden was just showing me around the grounds. he's definitely getting a rose. oh yeah. for life's bleachable moments, only clorox. ♪ [ gasps ] a little more to the left. we're trying our best, sir. maybe the round one. ♪ [ crunch ] you're not very good at this are you? fire all four. are you serious? i'm waiting. make it rain. ♪ bullseye. four flavors. four shapes. new cheetos mix ups. a lineup of unstoppable skincare!

for whatever adventure always start fresh and finish sparkling ♪ only from new olay fresh effects. [ male announcer ] fight pepperoni heartburn and pepperoni breath fast with tums freshers. concentrated relief that goes to work in seconds and freshens breath. tums freshers. ♪ tum...tum...tum...tum... tums! ♪ fast heartburn relief and minty fresh breath. tums freshers. ♪ tum...tum...tum...tum... tums! ♪

♪music plays ♪music plays ♪music plays this is genesis. she likes men completely hairless and, no, she doesn't think that's weird. i don't. whatever style she likes, make sure it looks perfect. trim, shave and edge with the proglide styler. gillette. the best a man can get.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. remember ko romijn, steve martorano, and johnny depp are

backstage playing scattergories or something. but before we get to them i want to tack a moment to congratulate jessica simpson and her fiance eric johnson who welcomed another child into the world yesterday. jessica simpson gives birth about once every 2 1/2 months. [ laughter ] this one is a boy, and she named that boy ace knut johnson. that's right. ace knut. [ laughter ] did she have a baby or a sled dog? i'm not sure. [ cheers and applause ] apparently, the middle name knut came from the kid's great grandfather, knut johnson. and they do pronounce the k. ace, i don't know where that came from. maybe a bandage. but doesn't it seem like all the celebrities in hollywood are playing some kind of crazy baby name poker that we're not aware of? okay, mariah, i see your macadamia cannon, i'll raise you an ace knut. now, let's go weather vane, we've got to pick up kansas and noodle. [ laughter ]

ace knut. although it's hard to find fault with jessica simpson after seeing this next guy. this guy is 33 years old. he's from nashville. his name is orlando shaw. and he's currently being sued by 14 different women for unpaid child support for his 22 children. the local cbs news in nashville caught up with orlando and asked him a great question, one that i myself have asked of mr. flavor flav. >> let me ask you this. it's a lot of kids, and i don't want to put you on the spot but can you name them all? >> yeah, i can name them all. >> give it a shot. >> do you really want me to do this? >> can you name a few of them? you said 17. >> all my boys' name is orlando. one of my boys' anytime is tie shaun. one is qualand omt-3 orlandril. ornisha. you get what i'm saying? i can name them. >> jimmy: i like all of those names. i'm having a hard time picking a favorite. i'm narrowed it town to

orlandril and quarlando. i think i'll go with quarlando. you know "star wars" and all that? you know, the other thing is it's the first of july and to me summer is officially upon us, and to welcome summer we went out onto hollywood boulevard to ask pedestrians if they're ready for bikini season. you know, you have to be ready for bikini season. we turned it into a game. you're going to see someone introduce him or herself, and then together we are all going to guess if they believe they're bikini ready. all right? are you ready? okay. let's begin. >> i'm from here, los angeles. >> maribel, are you ready for bikini season? >> is maribel ready for bikini season? let's find out. >> yes, i'm ready! [ applause ] >> jimmy: i think she might have that on backwards. maybe there's a little towel in there. i don't know. all right. next up. >> michael segovia from south

texas, edinburgh. >> michael, are you ready for bikini season? >> jimmy: do we believe michael is ready for bikini season? [ applause ] all right. >> yes! >> courteous. next up? >> my name is alexandra, and i'm from switzerland. >> alexandra, are you ready for bikini season? >> jimmy: she's here from switzerland. i don't know how things go over there. but let's find out. >> [ speaking foreign language ]. >> half bikini. next. >> my name is ray lawrence. i'm from the san francisco bay area. >> little larry, are you ready for bikini season? >> jimmy: nice. are we really that excited? >> oh, yeah! i'm ready. >> show us what you got, baby. show us what you got.

[ applause ] >> jimmy: all right. i'll have trouble getting that one out of my mind. >> lisa from australia. >> lisa, are you ready for bikini season? >> jimmy: is lisa ready for bikini season? yes? >> no. >> jimmy: you're sure? >> yes. >> jimmy: positive? >> positive. >> jimmy: all right. >> jimmy: i think we have one more. let's see who we have. >> john. i'm from london. >> john, are you ready for bikini season? >> jimmy: i don't know. a john who does not seem like he's from london at all. is he ready for bikini season? >> who needs a bikini? drink it in, ladies. >> jimmy: challenging stereotypes. we have a great show. rebecca romijn is here. we're going to make mozzarella with steve martorano.

and we'll be right back with johnny depp! hey brian -- what do you want? uhh... [ grunts ]

i'll have a redd's apple ale. [ male announcer ] redd's apple ale. crisp like an apple, brewed like an ale.

>> jimmy: tonight or our program, she's got a new show on tnt called "king & maxwell." rebecca romijn is here with us. and then, one of south philly's finest is here to show you how to make mozzarella cheese. his book/memoir is called "yo

cuz" and this spring he has a new restaurant opens at the paris in las vegas. steve martorano is here. tomorrow night the lone ranger himself armey hammer will join us. adam carolla will be here. we'll have music from ciara. and then wednesday michael c. hall, miranda cosgrove, and music from z.z. ward. join us then. our first guest tonight needs no introduction but since i'm here i'm going to give him one anyway. he is one of the biggest movie stars ever who has taken it upon himself to reintroduce the word "kemosa "kemosabe" to a new generation in "the lone ranger" which opens in theaters wednesday. please welcome johnny depp! [ cheers and applause ] how are you doing? >> i'm good.

>> jimmy: i know you're shy, and i would imagine this kind of a reaction is probably disturbing. but i want you to know that this morning when i got to work there was a line of women, and i said what are these people all doing here? they certainly weren't here for me. but they were waiting for you to come tonight. >> relatives. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: relatives? >> yep. i have a lot of relatives. yeah. and they stretch so far. >> jimmy: you have this very handsome -- let's just be honest and say beautiful face. [ cheers ] >> thank you, man. [ cheers ] i'm done. i'm done. >> jimmy: i've lost my train of thought.

[ cheers ] that's more kissing than i did in all of high school. >> me too. >> jimmy: i don't believe that. is that true? >> true. >> jimmy: really? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: you were not popular in high school with the girls or talk show hosts? [ laughter ] >> no. i do have a thing for talk show hosts. >> jimmy: well, sure. who doesn't? >> obviously. but no, no. in high school i was not -- no. i was kind of the long-haired -- >> jimmy: so they were maybe intimidated or just like you were a scum-bag or a loser or something like that? >> that's pretty much it. >> jimmy: when you moved out here to l.a., you came to be a musician, right? you were not necessarily planning to be an actor. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and that -- did you make money as a musician? is that something that you -- >> no. >> jimmy: -- did professionally? >> yes.

but you don't make money. >> jimmy: you don't make money. did you live with the other guys in the band? >> yeah. for a bit, yeah. and then i was -- i was able to find my own place. which i had for a while. and then i was evicted. >> jimmy: oh, you were? for what? >> well. >> jimmy: narrow it down to the top five reasons. >> it's probably a few reasons. number one, i don't think they liked me. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. but i couldn't pay my rent. >> jimmy: well, that is a negative when you're a renter. >> that's a really bad negative. >> jimmy: that's the one that's probably at the top of the list for them. >> indeed. >> jimmy: that and fire. >> prior to -- yeah. >> jimmy: are your kids impressed by you and what you do for a living, or is it just second nature to them? >> well, they're -- i mean, they're incredibly supportive. but they do realize that the

majority of characters that i kind of swallowed or sponged came from playing barbie. >> jimmy: from barbie? >> yeah. >> jimmy: with them? >> and g.i. joes. >> jimmy: g.i. joe. >> equal opportunity, right? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i got you. >> you know what i mean. >> jimmy: wow, i didn't realize the supreme court decision would have such an immediate impact on -- on both of us, really. [ cheers and applause ] the reason i ask this is because your daughter -- >> i do want to say something, though. >> jimmy: yes. >> i played more barbies. >> jimmy: you played more barbie than g.i. joe. your daughter, with whom i presume you played these barbies, tweeted this photograph. and this is -- you with the band one direction. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: how did this happen? >> i don't recall thatall.

[ laughter ] no, it's not true. i will tell you. my daughter was -- she's a great fan of one direction, and she asked if she could go to see them on the -- i think the "ellen" show or something like that. >> jimmy: right. okay. >> so i hooked it up. >> jimmy: that's a nice chit to have as a dad. really. >> i arranged for her to go and see them on the show. and then they wanted to come back and say hi. >> jimmy: to your house? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, wow. wow. that's a hell of a -- that's really hooking it up. [ laughter ] i mean, yeah. so then one direction went with your daughter back to your house? >> you seem somewhat jealous. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no one ever comes to

my house. >> well, wait. you seem freaked out. >> jimmy: it does seem -- it's not even just one person. you got a whole group of guys to come to your -- of handsome young men to come to your house. >> is there something wrong with that? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. there's nothing wrong with it. i'll just say it doesn't happen for me. i would be lucky if i could get the guys from 98 degrees to come to my house. you don't know who they are, do you? >> i have no idea. >> jimmy: who was your music idol when you were your daughter's age? >> i mean, i had so many. but i mean -- >> jimmy: is there one that you met? >> well, growing up, you know, starting in bands when i was a young kid, i was very lucky to play with iggy pop. >> jimmy: that's a good one. >> and i was 17 years old, and i

adored iggy. he was one of my heroes. and i didn't just want to meet him under the circumstances of like hi, how are you? he would forget me immediately. i thought i'll make an impression. >> jimmy: oh. okay. always a good idea. >> exactly. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what did you do? >> bad move. so i started -- we did two shows with him. we opened for him. and he was wandering around this bar that we played with him at. and i started screaming obscenities. at him. >> jimmy: at him? >> yeah. because i thought i would like my reaction from him to be quite different than -- and it was.

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was. did he enjoy your take on that? >> i'm not sure he enjoyed it. i'm not sure i enjoyed it. [ laughter ] but he did walk up to me like as close as he could possibly get without exchanging dna and looked me straight in the eye with these unwavering eyes that said, "you little turd." >> jimmy: well, it's not exactly one direction, but it's pretty good. [ applause ] >> by the way, i was completely happy. >> jimmy: oh, sure. that's a story. a handshake is nothing. >> i got him. love ya. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. johnny depp is here. his new movie is called "the lone ranger." we'll be right back.

>> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by sony. introducing the sony vaio plus. the world's lightest 13.3-inch touch ultra book. op at jcpenney? because it's all about staying cool and looking cool. for three days only, don't miss 40% off select swimwear for the family. and get 30 to 40% off select shorts and tees for the family. plus, take an extra 25% off clearance items for a total savings of 45%-75%! theres's never been a better time to make a splash. hurry in for summer savings only at jcpenney. ♪

hurry in for summer savings only at jcpenney. go lunch at olive garden. go for lunch combinations starting at $6.99. like our new signature meatball sandwich or melty chicken parmigiana. unlimited satisfaction starting at $6.99. where should we go? go olive garden! with olay, here's how. new regenerist eye and lash duo. the cream smooths the look of lids... softens the look of lines. the serum instantly thickens the look of lashes. see wow! eyes in just one week with olay. chewy inside... crunch n' chew.ek with a crunchy candy shell. untamed fruit flavor. jolly rancher crunch n' chew. turbo charged and it has great gas mileage. that beats choosing between a turbo or great gas mileage.

heh. that'd be like looking at black or white photography. now this one is sunrise over cancun... seriously? yes...this is a very special one, sunset over cancun. yeah, that wouldn't work. i like and better too. and is better. the 2014 focus st. only ford gives you ecoboost fuel economy and a whole lot more. go further. no. mom, check it out! energy drinks. no. hey mom! dare me to do a back-flip?

no. 1, 2, 3, 4! no! it's rated for class five white water. no! whooooooo! no, no! no, huh? yes! [ male announcer ] in a world filled with "no", oscar mayer selects hot dogs, no artificial preservatives and gluten free. it's yes food. it's oscar mayer. using night-vision goggles to keep an eye on my spicy buffalo wheat thins. who's gonna take your wheat thins? i don't know. an intruder, the dog, bigfoot. could you get the light? [ loud crash ] what is going on?! honey, i was close! it's a yeti! [ male announcer ] must! have! wheat thins! just getting clean with no water. kinda like using t.p. with no moist wipes. ohh. ohh. [ female announcer ] nothing leaves you feeling cleaner and fresher than the cottonelle care routine -- now with a touch of cotton.

with mccafé. every irresistible smoothie and delectable frappé is a break from the ordinary. and it all starts with a sip. there's something for everyone to love from mccafé.

the bullets that killed him.

from the great beyond he will protect you. and the ones you love. >> you want me to wear a mask? >> the men you seek think you are dead, kemosabe. better to stay that way. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: johnny depp, everyone. "the lone ranger." now, you are -- you play tonto in the movie. by the way, i love this tonto. i love the way you play tonto. and the movie is very funny, which i don't think i expected it to be. i thought, you know, western and -- but it is very funny. and armie hammer's character is very funny, too. >> indeed. >> jimmy: kind of an idiot. [ laughter ] >> the whole point. the whole point. >> jimmy: i read that you were adopted into the comanche tribe. specifically by a woman. how did that happen? >> we were doing the film, and

there was a great woman who was a long-time activist and just a wonderful -- >> jimmy: what is her name? >> ladonna harris. >> jimmy: okay. >> she's my comanche mother. and she decided that she wanted to adopt me into the comanche -- >> jimmy: is it legal to adopt an adult man? [ laughter ] wow. and so did she ask you -- >> well, kidnapping and adoption is legal. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so how does it happen? do you guys go down to the dmv together? or what is the process like? >> you know, because it's the comanche, we bypass the dmv. >> jimmy: you were able to -- >> really? a government agency? great. >> jimmy: yeah. you skip the government agency. you do it on the reservation or -- >> yeah. no, i was just adopted, you know, into their culture, their

nation. and it was -- >> jimmy: did her actual sons -- does she have family of her own? did they know they were getting a new brother? >> they did. some of them didn't know exactly who their brother or cousin would be. >> jimmy: and it turned out to be you. they must have been surprised. >> some were happy. [ laughter ] some were happy. >> jimmy: were any of them unhappy? >> some were happy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, that's focusing on the positive. the movie came out great. it's great to see you. thank you for all the sweet kisses on the face. i appreciate it. johnny depp, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] "the lone ranger" opens in theaters wednesday. we'll be back with rebecca romijn.

♪ ♪ [ slap! ] [ male announcer ] your favorite foods fighting you? fight back fast with tums. calcium-rich tums starts working so fast you'll forget you had heartburn. ♪ tum tum tum tum tums you'll forget you had heartburn. all this produce from walmart and secretly served it up in the heart of peach country. it's a fresh-over.

we want you to eat some peaches and tell us what you think. they're really juicy. it must have just come from the farm. this right here is ideal for me. walmart works directly with growers to get you the best quality produce they've ever had. what would you do if i told you all this produce is from walmart? wow! is it really? (laughter) find fresh peaches and all your quality produce. backed by our 100% money back guarantee. walmart. crossing an ocean with your body as the motor, it hurts. so my answer was advil. [ male announcer ] paul ridley chose advil. because nothing is stronger on tough pain. real people. real pain. real relief. advil. relief in action. this is kate. she likes a man with a little hair on his chest. but definitely not on his back.

whatever style she likes, make sure it looks perfect. trim, shave and edge with the proglide styler. gillette. the best a man can get. ♪ [ gasps ] a little more to the left. we're trying our best, sir. maybe the round one. ♪ [ crunch ] you're not very good at this are you? fire all four. are you serious? i'm waiting. make it rain. ♪ bullseye. four flavors. four shapes. new cheetos mix ups. uhhh...pppffftttt... ooof!! give me a redd's apple ale. [ male announcer ] redd's apple ale. crisp like an apple, brewed like an ale. [ kids ] a bunch! what would you buy with all this money you saved? i'd buy a change-o machine

so i could change my brother into a puppy. change-o machine? couldn't you just buy an actual puppy? but if my brother's a puppy i could bring him to show and tell and say, "here's my puppy brother!" well when you say it like that it makes perfect sense. [ male announcer ] it's not complicated. saving is better. come to at&t and trade up to iphone 5. get it now for $99.99 when you trade in your current smartphone. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

[ male announcer ] the all-new 2014 lexus is. this is your move.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back. steve martorano will be with us. our next guest is a former x-woman, which makes her a woman i think. her brand new show is called "king & maxwell." it airs monday nights on tnt. please -- i'm still flustered from the kisses. please say hello to rebecca romijn. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ rebecca, i'll be honest. given the choice of making out with one of the guests tonight, i would have picked you. >> really? >> jimmy: yes. definitely. >> this 13-year-old girl inside of you isn't freaking out like the 13-year-old girl inside of me? >> jimmy: is the 13-year-old girl inside of you freaking out right now? >> a little bit. >> jimmy: because it's all right here if you want some of it.

>> tell me. is this a beautiful face? >> jimmy: you do have a beautiful face. [ cheers and applause ] all right. but i'm not kissing steve when he comes out here. how are you? everything all right? >> everything's pretty good, yeah. >> jimmy: your show is like a classic -- like the kind of private eye show that we grew up with. you and i. >> yeah. it's "king & maxwell." it's a little bit of a throwback. we're private investigators. we're disgraced secret service agents turned private investigators. but it's got like this "moonlighting" vibe. so it's less about the case and more about the people working on the case. >> jimmy: i miss private eyes. what happened -- >> it's a nice throwback. >> jimmy: yeah, really. >> i love it. >> jimmy: it's set in washington, d.c., but you shoot it in vancouver. >> yes. in vancouver. vancouver covers for d.c. and we've been up there since march. >> jimmy: do you like it there? >> i love it. vancouver's a fantastic city.

it's gorgeous. it is a rainforest. it rains a lot. >> jimmy: i love it there too. >> and when we started in march it was still very cold. it was like 35 degrees every day. and i got sick soon as i got up there. so my first three days of filming i had this really bad cold. and we were shooting the finale of our first episode first, which is always fun to do. and i had to tackle this russian mobster on a sidewalk. and i had this terrible cold. and as i jump on top of him and i'm straddling him and i'm hovering over his face, i see this drop of snot fall from my nose on his face. >> jimmy: how did he react to that? >> well, he was polite about it. he sort of -- you know, there was a little bit of a moment. but the thing that happened to me was i actually flashed back on the fact this is not the first time that i've done this. >> jimmy: really? >> i have also s notted on al pa chino's face. >> jimmy: did you tell him that?

>> well, i thought he's in good company. ten years ago i did a movie with al pa choocino and i had a very cold and a drop of snot fell out of my nose. and it wasn't like he could ignore it. [ laughter ] he reacted to it. >> jimmy: oh, no. did he get angry? >> no, he didn't. they broke us for lunch right after that happened. so then i had to like sit with myself mortified for an hour. i was so embarrassed. i went back to set and i said, "mr. pacino, i am so sorry. that is the worst thing that could have happened. i promise that will never happen again." and he said, "don't be silly. i loved it." >> jimmy: that's great. >> and i kind of believe him. i actually was like, you know, i think he's kind of into that. now i'm realizing this is like my signature thing. this is what i do. >> jimmy: post-nasal drip. >> that's what i bring to the table. i'm really good at it. i'm going to add it to my resume and, you know -- >> jimmy: you have to go with

your strengths. i've always said that. >> some actresses are really good at crying on command. like okay. which eye in how many tears? i can snot on command. i will do it to anybody. >> jimmy: specialty. >> i'll get you in the right position, i'll do it to you if you want. >> jimmy: next show. next time you're here. your his jerry o'connell, is he now in charge of the children now that you are up in vancouver -- >> jerry and i, we tag-team with work. so whenever i'm working, he stays with the kids. >> jimmy: that seems like a terrible idea to me. just knowing jerry, it seems like you'd be better off dropping the kids at a frat house. [ laughter ] and saying kids, good luck. >> you know, actually, it's worked out really well. we finish up, this is my last week up in vancouver. so as soon as i'm finished, i come back and then he's got to start going back to work. >> jimmy: does he respect your rules while you are away -- >> i'm not a big rule maker. i don't micromanage. i feel like if it's his show -- his job, i don't tell him how to do his job. but i do -- i insist on like a little bit of nutrition because i think jerry believes that a diet of just pizza is fine.

>> jimmy: right. >> so you know, i begged him to just like give them a little fruit and maybe an egg. i just want one good meal. >> jimmy: does he do it? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: oh, you don't know. >> i'm not sure. but every time i come home for a weekend, which isn't very often, the house is a little bit of a disaster and there are happy meal toys everywhere. and there are more and more every time i come back. the evidence is building up. >> jimmy: that's an indicator. >> i think i know what they're eating while i'm not there. >> jimmy: you'd better get back home quick before you have to roll the kids around. it's great. the show if you have not seen it it's called "king & maxwell," monday nights, tnt. rebecca romijn, everyone. when we come back, we're going to make cheese with steve martorano.

>> jimmy: fine cuisine in south philly. restaurants in florida and las vegas. his latest, martorano's, opens

at paris in vegas in the spring. his cookbook is called "yo cuz." steve martorano. hello, steve. i'm excited to have you here. you're going to make -- you tell me the way to pronounce it. >> mozzarella. not mozzarella. you've got to say "mootsarella." it's like a song, an italian song. >> jimmy: is this something you make every night at the restaurant? >> every night. i've got mozzarella all my life, and it wasn't as good as i thought it could be. every time i used to go ask somebody it was like a big family secret. like nobody wanted to tell me what to do. so i did some research and i said, cuz, it's not that difficult. you can make this in six minutes. you eat warm mozzarella because you'll never have cold mozzarella again. never. i swear to god. >> jimmy: when you get it at the supermarket it's got like -- >> softball. don't. forget it. don't even go there. don't go there. >> jimmy: so what do we have here?

this is -- >> this is curd. >> jimmy: where do you get curd? >> it comes from a cow. but -- it comes from a cow. but you've got to go to an italian deli. you won't be able to go to a supermarket, cuz. you won't be able to get that. the idea is to melt that curd. that's how you make mozzarella. >> jimmy: let's do that. >> you're going to take this. get your knife first. cut it in little pieces. try to get it at like the same -- no, cuz. pick it up. pick it up. like your mother would do. get a piece. get a piece of this. >> jimmy: my mother went to the supermarket and bought it. >> you want to cut it in little pieces like me. you want to do this. in the restaurant i've got a thing called a guitar. it's a piece of metal with ropes -- like metal ropes. >> jimmy: you play music. >> no. you push it in it and if it's all the same size. if it's all the same size it's going to melt evenly. >> jimmy: i see. try to keep the pieces the same size. all right. mine are not the same size. >> you're good, cuz. we've got hot water. 180 degrees. >> jimmy: exactly.

>> 180. what you want to do is cover this. you cover yours. >> jimmy: all right. >> you forgot this. what's the matter with you? >> jimmy: i don't know. i was doing -- >> go ahead. you got that. >> jimmy: okay. >> here we go. 14 ounces. we've got 14 ounces. 7 ounces per person works great but we're going to make two balls. we're going to make it two different ways. plain mozzarella with a little extra virgin olive oil. but then we're going to stuff it. i think i invented it. >> jimmy: where? who? >> in the restaurant. >> jimmy: oh. >> we'll stuff it with tomato and prosciutto. now you've got to give me some hot water. got your gloves on? got yourself a wooden spoon. now, what do you want to do? we've got to wait till it melts. all we've got to do is wait till it melts. that's what i'm saying. it's real simple. but you need salt. say can't have salt. let's say the doctor -- >> jimmy: my doctor says i can't have salt. >> really? you can't have salt? >> jimmy: yeah. i can't have salt. >> what are you going to dnow?

it's got to have flavor. >> jimmy: my doctor didn't say anything. i just said it because you told me to say it. >> i love you. i love you. >> jimmy: i'll eat that whole bowl of salt. >> kosher salt. >> jimmy: okay. >> for every seven ounces two teaspoons. so we're going to go four. one, due, tre, quatro. i'm going to dot same thing. one, two, three, four. again, if you can't have salt, forget about it, don't use it. now, this thing is melted. so what -- you ever watch these guys, they get this mozzarella, cuz, and they stretch it? >> jimmy: yeah. >> if you're doing 15, 20 pounds i get it. we've got seven ounces. so we really ain't got to work this thing. we've got to treat this thing with love and respect, this food. so keep bringing it toward you like i'm doing. just bring it. and what's happening, cuz, it's cooking. it's cooking the curd, right? look at this. how long's it been?

30 seconds? look at this. do you see this? it's starting to turn into mozzarella. just keep -- yeah. you feel those lumps? >> jimmy: yeah. >> those lumps got to go away. so you want to just keep turning it and turning it. >> jimmy: my doctor said i can't have any lumps either. [ laughter ] >> i've got to find you a new doctor. [ laughter ] okay. now pick it up with your hands. >> jimmy: okay. >> and just pull it just a little bit and fold it. cuz, look at yours. yours is better than mine. >> jimmy: that's what they say. [ cheers and applause ] >> okay. >> jimmy: like a ball? >> snip it. >> jimmy: with what? >> with your fingers. >> jimmy: oh, all right. all right. >> okay. now watch. watch. watch. i'm going to take it over here, put it down over here. put yours. >> jimmy: look at that. that's a ball of cheese right there, guillermo. >> five minutes. now watch. you get a little more kosher salt, a little more. you get the best extra virgin

olive oil. >> jimmy: okay. >> you could do anything with this. you want to cut a piece and taste this. because after this we're going to do stuffed. real quick. >> jimmy: real quick. geernl guillermo, come up here for a second. i want you to try something. oh, my gosh. >> even like a little buratta inside. >> jimmy: it's like the best thing you could ever eat, right? >> cuz, it's the truth. it's that good. don't ever eat cold mozzarella again. send it back. it's like a -- >> jimmy: we'll stab you if we have to. [ applause ] >> now, this is so simple. watch. he's got this. >> jimmy: oh, my god, that's good. isn't that good, guillermo? >> that's great. >> you want to do this too? all right. watch. real simple. grab a piece of prosciutto. you know what prosciutto is, cuchi?