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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  July 19, 2013 11:35pm-12:36am PDT

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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, michael c. hall. from "despicable me 2," miranda cosgrove. and music from zz ward. with cleto and the cletones. and now with the greatest of ease, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice. good evening.
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i am the host of the show. thank you for watching. you know, we are less than a half hour away from the fourth of july, a celebration of our independence from england. and our dependence on alcohol. [ laughter ] i think it is great when the fourth of july is on a thursday because unless you're one of those guys who has to stand outside an apartment complex wearing the uncle sam outfit with the arrow, you probably have the day off. and thursday is a great day to have the fourth of july. because what are you going to do? go in for one day. and friday and saturday are bad because you have the weekend anyway. monday and friday are good because you get three-day weekend. and as far as weekdays go, tuesday and wednesday are the worst. sunday, monday, best, thursday, friday, tuesday, wednesday, sunday and then saturday. did i spend too much time thinking about this? [ cheers and applause ] it's good is what i'm trying to say. i do miss the old days when you could buy fireworks without having to drive an unmarked van
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down to mexico. fireworks are illegal here in l.a. if you live in l.a. and you want to blow something up, you have to be michael bey and blowing up something. and the best city to be in on the fourth of july in the united states is l.a. and you know when a website that you never heard of says it, it has to be true. i don't think it is the best place, you can't see the fireworks if there is smog. and there are vegans lurking everywhere just waiting for you to turn your back so they can throw weird blocks of tofu on your grill. if you're planning to go to the beach tomorrow, be warned. police are on high alert especially in hermosa beach where people go nuts and this year they made a video just to let you know they are not fooling around. ♪ >> the open container of alcohol
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in a public place by anyone under 21 is a misdemeanor. this includes hiding it in red cups and gatorade bottles. smoking on the beach or pier is prohibited. this year there will be an increased number of undercover officers. >> jimmy: i don't know, but if i saw that guy watching me through the binoculars, i would call the police on him. he looks like a pervert, right? hey, dennis rodman said something -- i want to talk about dennis rodman. dennis rodman said something dumb, which i know that is surprising. he told "sports illustrated" that he believes he should be nominated for a peace prize. you remember he went on an unsanctioned trip to north korea to see kim jong-un, who he called a friend for life. apparently, you have to be married to carmen elektra for at least two weeks.
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they only lasted nine days is that sad or what? he actually said "my mission in life is to break the ice between hostile countries." it seems like the mission is to put as many pieces of metals in your face as possible. but he's serious about it. he told "sports illustrated" if i don't finish in the top three for the nobel prize, something is seriously wrong. just give him one of those fake oscar statuettes they sell with the nobel on it sharpee. i'm pretty sure he won't know the difference. this next clip is from france, and i don't know that i've ever been more envious. a guy works at a restaurant there, makes a regular habit of scaring the crap out of his co-worker. and luckily for us he records each instance on his cell phone. [ loud noises ] >> aaagh.
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[ laughter ] >> aaagh! [ laughter ] >> aaagh! >> aaagh! [ laughter ] >> aaagh! >> jimmy: i could watch that over and over. [ applause ] how could you not -- i don't know. on one hand, i feel kind of bad for the guy, but i also know if i had a friend who screamed like that i could never stop scaring him. the tsa are keeping up with the times. the tsa are the people who strip us naked at the airport. they now have their own instagram account. they do. they post pictures of items they confiscate from travelers. this is one of the pictures they posted and look at the caption on the side here.
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#stungun, #disguised -- the tsa hughesed more hashtags than a thousand teenage girls combined. i looked through the pictures that the tsa posted. i have to say this is the perfect instagram post to follow if you're unclear if you can carry on a gun or a knife or a gun with a knife on it. these are all items they found in ted nugent's glove compartment. [ laughter ] this is pretty great. i guess this happened a few years ago, but it just got big on the internet. in new zealand, a dog, a bull mastif named bruno, had a habit of randomly attacking cars. they didn't get video, but created an incredibly life-like digital reenactment. >> the bull mastif's tire was punctured. the cop changed the tire but the bull mastiff again punctured it. another sergeant came to the
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officer's aid but he too had his tire attacked and punctured so an animal control officer was called in but he too had his tire attacked and punctured. >> jimmy: something funny happened at the very unfunny trial of george zimmerman. a college professor named scott pleasants testified via skype today, which would have been fine if whoever was running the computer didn't accide accidentally leave the professor's skype computer name and contact number for everyone to see and call him. >> is that sort of an in-classroom course or is it a different type? [ loud noises ] >> no, this is a different one online and requires the space on the -- >> and how do you facilitate those types of discussions?
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that is all right. >> hold on -- i. [ loud noises ] >> all right. all right. >> sir, is there -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the dog made its way from the last clip onto that one. it is -- this is fascinating. an italian scientist, dr. sergio conivero, made news today because he believes that human head transplants will soon become a reality. so great news for bruce jenner, yeah? or whoever gets -- the doctor predicts he will be able to take the head off one body and successfully attach it to a new body in just a few years. so if you're still not ready for bikini season, there is hope. the doctors said the surgery could be used to transplant the head of somebody who has an incurable illness on to a
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healthy donor body. i don't know. call me old fashioned but i prefer the days where we just let people die. you know, it would be fun to see larry king's head on larry the cable guy's body. that i would be okay with. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is a clip, one of my hard-working staff members who is busy watching the internet all day, brought to my attention. this is from russia, a guy was driving along. he has a dash cam, when two cows who happened to be having sex wandered in front of the car. now, somehow the cow is fine. i don't know, maybe the cows have some kind of fetish for dangerous sex but someone could have been hurt. so to make sure this never happens again, we wrote a little song to make it easy for cows to remember the dos and don'ts of doing it. ♪ hey cow ♪ if you want to get down listen
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to me ♪ ♪ you need to know where to throw your sexy water ♪ before you do it you won't under end up in a beef stew ♪ ♪ can you hump in a road no can you hump in a bar why the hell not ♪ ♪ how about a volcano too darned hot ♪ ♪ can you hump a human being no, no, no ♪ ♪ what it if he's cute i don't give a hoot what about a freeway that's fine but don't fall backwards and break your behind ♪ brought to you by tlusty heifers.com. >> me so horny. when we come back our security guard guillermo has something planned for us. two of the biggest fourth of july traditions are cookouts and fire many works and tonight guillermo is going to combine them by cooking with fireworks.
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>> please tell us what you are going to cook for us tonight? what are you going to cook? >> oh, jimmy, welcome to cooking with fireworks. >> jimmy: yes, so thank you for welcoming us. we're going to light all of that stuff on fire, right, guillermo? >> yes, jimmy, everything. i got hamburgers, steaks, hot dogs, chicken, corn. a lot of things. >> jimmy: oh, wow. it looks great. when we get back, michael c. hall, miranda cosgrove, and zz ward will be here, and we'll have fireworks so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ yowls ] ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause>> jimmy: ready, and michael c. hall, miranda cosgrove, and music from zz ward are on the way. it's almost independence day depending on what time we are on where you live so that means you will probably hear the national anthem at least once tomorrow. and the national anthem is one thing we all learned when we were kids. and i don't know about you, but when i was a kid didn't know what it meant and i probably don't entirely know what it means now. so we went out on hollywood boulevard to have kids tell us what they think the lyrics mean to "the star-spangled banner." can you tell us the lyrics? yes. >> go ahead. ♪ o say can you see by the dawn's early light ♪ ♪ i'm so proudly to be --
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>> i don't really know. >> what was that last part? you're so proudly to pieces? >> yeah, that is all i can really remember. >> what does that mean? you're so proudly to pieces. >> like that we're proudly to all of like the states and the united. >> who did we declare our independence from? >> canada. >> exactly. what is "the star-spangled banner" about? >> monkeys. >> monkeys. what are ramparts? >> parts of a lamb? i don't know. >> what are ramparts? >> something that has rams on their parts. >> how would you dance to "the star-spangled banner" if you had a chance to? >> oh, say, can you see? oat o say can you see by the dawn's early light ♪
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>> very interpretive. ♪ what so proudly we hailed >> who wrote "the star-spangled banner." >> starts -- has a "q" in it, i forget. >> quincy jones. >> yes. thank you. >> you're welcome. >> i knew it started with a "q." >> can you sing "the star-spangled banner"? >> no. >> do you know the song we sing before the fourth of july? >> the strong-singled banner. >> the strong-singled banner? do you know the words to the strong-singled banner? >> some of them. >> okay, go for it, take it away. ♪ o say can you -- that's all i really know. >> why is that all you really know? >> because i'm dumb, i'm dumb! [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: i guess it is kind of smart to know you're dumb. all right, it is time to blow up some meat. let's go back out to chef guillermo who is going to be cooking. [ cheers and applause ] guillermo. >> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: wait, what is the fourth of july, guillermo? >> oh, it is the american independence. >> jimmy: do you know who we're independent from? >> oh, i think from the europeans. >> jimmy: can you be more specific? >> spain? >> jimmy: no. >> no? >> jimmy: mexico, i think. you moved. >> england. >> jimmy: yes, england. that is right. and do you know what important document was signed on independence day? >> oh, i think it was the freedom of america? >> jimmy: yeah. there was a citizenship test, right? >> yeah, a long time ago.
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>> jimmy: all right, so what do you got there on the grill? you got steak, you got chicken, you have hot dogs. you have come corn could bes. is that a potato there. you have some things on the grill. and what kind of fireworks are we using to cook with tonight, guillermo? >> well, jimmy, i have a fuse right here, and the fireworks are going to do all the cooking. >> jimmy: oh, okay, yes. >> it is going to give it good flavor, going to make the meat tender. it's going to be great. >> jimmy: okay, it is going to be great, well, light it up and let's do it. >> okay, jimmy, and, remember, this is the only way to cook. >> jimmy: okay, i didn't know that. >> boy, you learn something every day. >> jimmy: i hope we get our independence from france. all right, here we go. here it is, maybe the shield you should put in front of the fire, between you and the fire, okay. yeah. all right. look at that.
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that is quite a -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and how long do you cook it like this, guillermo? >> i just cook it for a few minutes. >> jimmy: how many minutes? >> two minutes. >> jimmy: okay, are they ready yet? maybe you should run in there and check them. it is not ready yet? how long? it takes two minutes usually, huh? >> yes, two minutes. >> jimmy: and this is how you cook every year? >> yes, it is great. >> jimmy: do you marinate the meat? >> yeah, jimmy. >> jimmy: you do? okay. >> yes. >> jimmy: because it looks like it has not been marinated. and it looks like -- are we finished? >> and, jimmy, gluten-free like the way you like it. >> jimmy: all right, that is still going, isn't it? >> yeah. wow, this time is more time. >> jimmy: yeah, all right.
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i think it is safe to get in there, right? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're not fighting a dragon, guillermo. >> okay. >> jimmy: all right, let's see what we have there. oh, wow. let's zoom in on some of that -- wow. tell us what we have there. >> this is a hamburger well done. and, remember, this is the only way to cook. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, you mentioned that before. those chicken breasts look really great. >> oh, yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: they are mulcho caliente. >> mucho caliente. last-minute all right. well, beautifully done and people can do this at home? >> yeah, anybody can do it. >> jimmy: all right, thank you, guillermo, we have a good show tonight. miranda cosgrove is here, and we have music from zz ward. and michael c. hall is here. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by las vegas dot-com's unfortunate name organization. you've got finch for math right? uh-uh. english? her. splanker, pretend we're not related. oh trust me, you don't want any of that. you got my map? yeah. where you can sit can define your entire year. and what's the most important thing to remember? no face to face contact until we're off of school property. you got this. sharing what you've learned. that's powerful. verizon. get the samsung galaxy s3 for $49.99. hey guys. oh, hey. aiden was just showing me around the grounds. he's definitely getting a rose. oh yeah. for life's bleachable moments, only clorox. [ female announcer ] clear. feeds your scalp so it can be the right foundation
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the program, you cannot see her, but
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you can hear her in the movie "despicable me 2" which is in theaters now. miranda cosgrove is here. and then this is her debut album. it's called "til the casket drops," zz ward from the sony stage. starting september, the second in portland, oregon. our first guest tonight is an emmy-nominated man, who played for eight seasons the most lovable serial killer killer serial killer. the perpetually plasma colored dexter, michael c. hall. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> good. >> jimmy: did you kill anyone today? >> i did not kill anyone today, nor did i pretend to kill anyone at work. >> jimmy: oh, so that is
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pretend, all of that? >> the last take -- no, it is all fake. >> jimmy: what a great show, you have done eight seasons of the show. i heard you're down to the final week of shooting. >> yeah, we're in the midst of shooting a final episode as we speak. >> jimmy: and that obviously -- well, maybe not -- maybe you're happy to see -- >> i am a lot of things. wistful, imagining that we'll be nostalgic, sad, we have a lot of pride. i mean, eight years, that is like college twice. >> jimmy: yes, and some people after eight years of college wind up working at starbucks. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: had a chat with the audience. >> yes. >> jimmy: well, after doing this will you go right onto doing movies or another show or something? >> you know, before "dexter" came along, i couldn't have imagined it. so i'd like to believe there are things i can't quite imagine on
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the horizon. i have an independent film that i'm going to do after we finish, but i would like to take a break, too, like do something different. >> jimmy: like do something different from acting? >> yeah, like strawberry farming. i've been thinking about that. >> jimmy: that's a good idea. have you really been thinking of that? >> yeah, i'm putting it out there. i'm trying to get free seeds basically. >> jimmy: are you a farmer? do you know anything? >> no, a total novice. this would be a real -- >> jimmy: and strawberries, you know, you can grow them in a pot. you don't even need a farm. >> yeah, but i would like to have a lot. >> jimmy: you'd like to have a lot. it is good that you would have another job that you would be covered with red stuff all day. >> exactly. well, that is what i know i will miss the most. i wanted to think of something. >> jimmy: have you zeroed in on anything on the set that you want to claim as a memento? >> oh, yes, like dexter's desk is spoken for. nobody ever came to me and asked if i wanted it.
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i didn't even hear about that. a desk is kind of big. i think i will keep his little lanyard thing that he wears, his i.d. thing and his watch. i always thought i'd keep those two and maybe there's some sort of abstract blood pictures in his lab. >> jimmy: i think it would be weird if people came to your house and saw that because are people ever scared of you when they meet -- i mean, is there any weirdness? >> i don't know. i mean, people are pretty nice. in a way it is like a perk. i mean, so many times -- so many more times since doing dexter have people let me get in front of them at the grocery store. you know? >> jimmy: because they don't want you behind them? >> yeah, i think. >> yeah, it is just sort of a -- you go. you know. yeah. >> jimmy: why do you use your middle initial? was there another michael hall? >> yeah, there is another
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michael hall in s.a.g. i think he is responsible for the anthony in anthony michael hall, too. >> jimmy: well, you ruined a lot of lives. >> yeah. but i just used the middle initial. actually when i found out i had to do it, a friend told me that he would give me half of everything he made if i would change my name officially to "the force". >> jimmy: "the force." >> yes. well, i didn't do it. >> jimmy: half of his income for how long? >> for life. >> jimmy: for life. >> and i didn't do it. >> jimmy: why would you not do it? >> have you seen "the force" in dexter? >> jimmy: the force is a great name. >> it's a lot to live up. >> jimmy: it's a first great name to start with no matter what your last name is. the force, well, like there is "the rock." that worked for him. although he is probably more like a rock than you are a force. >> right. these are not the droids you're looking for. >> jimmy: did he make a lot of money? i mean, would it have been worth your while? >> yeah, it would have been a
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reasonable -- >>. >> jimmy: a big payday. >> a reasonable supplement to my income. >> jimmy: is it too late to become "the force"? >> i think the offer still stands indefinitely. >> jimmy: if you change your name to "the force," guarantee j.j. abrams puts you in that movie -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: may the force be with you. he's right there. there is some photographs here that i would like to share with you. >> oh, man. >> jimmy: i prime you have seen this. a woman in england made a life-sized cake in your image. >> somebody showed me that at work. >> jimmy: and then served it to who, i don't know. what do you think when you see something like that? i mean, i guess it -- >> that is fantastic. that is amazing. it is very surreal. it really kind of goes beyond what dexter himself would do. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm impressed.
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>> jimmy: that's not something you could have imagined as a child that would happen to you one day? especially not in another country. >> i think all kids imagine themselves a cake -- you know, that it would actually happen. >> jimmy: is that true, chef guillermo? do all kids imagine themselves as a cake? >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: thank you. >> he knows. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. we'll have a clip from the next episode of "dexter." michael c. hall is with us. we'll be right back. [ applause ] of your dishwasher sparkles. ok, so i'm the bad guy for being clean? you said it! you know, you... bababababa ladies! let's not fight dirty. hi, cascade kitchen counselor. see, over time... new cascade platinum's triple cleaning formula delivers brilliant shine that finish gel can't beat. it even helps keep your dishwasher sparkling. new cascade platinum is cascade's best.
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[ john ] nope. [ tires squeal ] twelve bucks a night! no. they have waterbeds. ew. no! are we near a gas station? [ phone beeps] [ phone ] no. is that from the mini bar? [ both ] no. is that a cop? no. [ cop ] do you know how fast you were going? no. eighty-seven [ groans ] he's right. is that oscar mayer? [ karen] yes! [ male announcer ] in a world filled with "no", it's nice to finally say "yes". oscar mayer selects deli meat, no artificial preservatives and gluten free. it's yes food. it's oscar mayer.
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>> you keep talking about me like i'm some kind of alternate species, like i'm less than human. >> on the contrary. have you read any of my books? >> no, i haven't gotten around to it. >> well, if you had, you would have known that i believe that psychopaths are not a mistake of nature. they're a gift. >> a gift? >> they're ultra wolves who help the human race survive long enough to become civilized. an indispensable demographic. >> jimmy: that is michael c. hall who directed this episode. >> i did, i directed this episode. yeah. >> jimmy: had you directed an episode of the show before? >> i hadn't. it was an invitation i had
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gotten i guess several several before, but i just had not had time to prepare. it was great. i liked it more than i feared i wouldn't. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did your cast mates listen to you when you were all of a sudden in charge, all of a sudden the director? >> they did, you know, i mean, i i think i've spent a lot of time working with them. >> jimmy: i would think that would be the problem. oh, look who is in charge. >> oh, mr. smarty pants now. >> jimmy: should i stand over here? >> yes, yeah. >> jimmy: that doesn't go around here. >> yeah. i probably have been telling people what to do the whole time so they didn't even notice. >> jimmy: you're naturally bossy. so it wasn't that much of a stretch. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: how long have you been -- where do you shoot that show? >> sunset galleries -- not far from here. >> jimmy: the whole time, you're here. >> yeah, we fake miami, we go to long beach a lot -- i mean, sorry -- i mean, not to long beach. yeah, and we've been there for eight seasons. and i was on "six feet under" for five years.
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before that. >> jimmy: on that lot? >> yeah, same lot. so i had gone 13 years at sunset gallery. they did a documentary about sunset gallery. maybe it was an in-house thing, i'm not sure. but i was told i share the record for the most hours logged there with rita hayworth. >> jimmy: oh, wow. that's a pretty big deal. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: i worked at that lot once. i did a game show there for four years and every single day the security guard asked me who i was. [ laughter ] >> did you give them a different answer every day? >> jimmy: no, i had to tell him each time. and finally i learned his name. and i said, i saw you, i know your name! >> nothing. >> jimmy: are you sick of that lot? >> no. yes. >> jimmy: it is a terrible lot. >> well, they did call it sunset ghetto when i started, and it has gotten better and better. i mean, they -- >> jimmy: oh, it has.
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>> multi-colored walls now and commemorative plaques of all the stuff shot there. insane asylum. >> jimmy: well, congratulations on a great show. it's called "dexter." michael c. hall. we'll be right back with miranda cosgrove. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. millions suffer in silence because their parents gave them unfortunate names but now there's hope thanks to the good people at lasvegas.com and the unfortunate name organization. >> i have something to tell you. i have an unfortunate name. >> your name is guillermo rodriguez. what's unfortunate about that. >> that is not my full name. >> jimmy: what is your full name? >> my full name is miguel frances so mack reno enrico jalapeno montoya. >> >> jimmy: that is an unfortunate name.
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>> wait. i'm not finished. fernando chi chi felipe lea marguerite juan carlos bonita jalapeno. >> jimmy: i think you said jalapeno twice. >> there's two hajalapenos. carmen piata, chim economy chang ga, papa smurf ortiz -- >> jimmy: is that? >> one more. >> jimmy: thank you for sharing that guillermo. you are very brave. mulcho bravo. >> las vegas.com's unfortunate name organization is helping others with exclusive videos of las vegas.com/unfortunatenames and share your unfortunate nail on twitter, #unfortunate name. ♪
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♪ >> jimmy: still could come, zz ward will be here. if not for green slime, spongebob and our next guest, nickelodeon would've closed up shop many years ago. you know her from "icarly" and now you can hear her voice in "despicable me 2," which is in
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theatres now. please say hello to miranda cosgrove. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: miranda, the last time you were here, you were 17 last time. now you're 20 years old. >> yeah, it was a while ago. >> jimmy: you're just getting older and older as the years go on. >> i know. >> jimmy: and how has your life changed since this? i told you not to go to college. >> i went anyway. >> jimmy: you went anyway. what are you studying in college? >> i want to major in film, so a lot of film classes. >> jimmy: you were on television for like ten years already, what could you be learning from these people? >> i admit it is a little strange. i took one class. i took one that was intro to tv. they did an entire week that was all about children's television, so i felt a little weird. >> jimmy: did you have that weird moment where they examined your show with you sitting there? >> well, some kids brought the show up in class and then it was just a little strange.
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>> jimmy: yeah. >> but that one, spongebob, that is one they actually screened. >> jimmy: he is a good friend of yours, spongebob, >> yeah, he is. >> jimmy: you've known him for years. how did you do in that class, by the way? >> i got an "a." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: instead of your final paper did you say here is the box set of "icarly"? how is your social life in college? >> it is good. i have been to one frat party. >> jimmy: oh, you have? >> yeah. >> jimmy: who invited you to the frat party? >> my friend, i met him on the very first day of school. >> okay. i didn't know anybody when i first started at usc, so now i know some people. >> jimmy: you do. and how was the frat party? >> it was pretty good. it was kind of a crazy party scene at the row. >> jimmy: yeah, it is, it is like a bunch of houses. there is a street and there are a bunch of these big houses like you would see in a movie about a college. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and then everybody goes besector, right. and then every once in a while
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something terrible happens and they crack down and then they go right back -- >> and it comes right back. >> jimmy: how did you do at this frat party? >> well, my dad went to usc, and he told me they were a really classy bunch. >> jimmy: who was? >> everyone at usc. >> jimmy: oh. everyone. >> everyone. and then i had to wear like a pant suit or like something 46 really fancy at the party -- >> jimmy: a pant suit? what year did your dad go to college, 1914? wow, pant suit, huh? >> yeah, i went to this party, i wore like a cardigan, i didn't wear a pant suit, but he was completely wrong. >> jimmy: and is it weird when you go in there, and they're like you're icarly? is that a strange thing? >> it is strange when people are drunk -- >> jimmy: so probably not a good idea to go to a frat party. do you live in a dorm there? >> i don't, i actually just got
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a place recently and i am having my first party for the fourth of july. >> jimmy: oh, you're having your own frat party? >> kind of, a barbecue. >> jimmy: what is the party or the plan for the party? >> for a bunch of my band group, a bunch of cooks. >> jimmy: they will man the grill. you're not a good cook? >> i'm not a good cook, i live alone. >> jimmy: so you live out -- >> pretty much. i eat a lot of pizza. >> jimmy: do you clean your house? >> i do. i'm actually pretty clean with my own place. i know how i am now that i have my own place. i know how my parents felt when i spilled drinks and stuff at their house. >> jimmy: are you spilling things at your house? >> a little bit. >> jimmy: so you guys are drinking at the house is what you're telling me. >> no, nothing like that. >>. >> jimmy: no, nothing like that. >> i'm not drinking. actually, i was eating cherries, and spilled some on like -- >> jimmy: oh, you're a real wild man, aren't you? >> pretty wild. >> jimmy: these child stars are out of control. they start with the cherries, next thing you know, grapes, eventually they're eating
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peaches. >> i had a peach -- >> jimmy: there you go, just what i said in the green room eating peaches. >> you're actually right. >> jimmy: so when you get your degree at usc, do you want to direct films or continue acting? >> well, like i think steve carell and kristen wiig and tina fey, they're awesome because they write a lot of their own stuff so i want to take screenwriting. that's actually my dream. >> jimmy: michael was here. he had a fan from england who made a cake of him. this is one of your fans from england who was saddened by the news of the final episode of "icarly," so saddened that he made this sign, we don't want to say good-bye for "icarly." is this someone you know? >> i haven't spent a lot of time -- >> jimmy: you haven't, but you would like to meet him? >> i would like to meet him. >> jimmy: any idea why he decided to go sans shirt? >> i have no idea.
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>> jimmy: i mean that is really something else. so this "despicable me," kristin wiig and steve carell are in this movie with you? that's kind of a great thing. >> yeah, it was awesome. they're two of my favorite comedians. >> jimmy: and it was easy, too because you don't have to put on makeup, you just have to get up there and speak in the microphone. >> yeah, you don't have to worry at all. you can just go this your pajamas. >> jimmy: and you go back to class and say here is what it is like to work on an animated film? >> i have to do that. >> jimmy: i wouldn't listen to what anyone said at college if i were you. i'd sit there like this the whole time. it seems like things are going very well for you. you seem like you're very grounded with your pants suits and cherries and whatshot. and it is very good to see you. the movie is called "despicable me 2," it is in theaters right now. miranda cosgrove, everyone.
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we'll be right back with zz ward. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: the cd which i have right here is called "till the casket drops." here with the song "365 days," zz ward. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ your clothes out on the blacktop scattered suits on the street ♪ ♪ frames and broken pictures in the mid-september heat ♪ ♪ we set these nights on fire so hot we burned it down ♪ ♪ now all that's left of us is ashes on the ground i told you back in june you knew damn well ♪ ♪ what i would do three hundred sixty-five days you been making me wait so keep your two-timing ♪ ♪ games it's a lotta too late the summer's over over over ♪ ♪ over over over
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drop your keys from six stories ♪ ♪ shout out it's raining green don't tell lies in heaven ♪ ♪ or an angel will get mean diamonds and white gold watches ♪ ♪ watch how fast they will soar you always said you wanted ♪ ♪ to give back to the poor i told you back in june you knew damn well what i would do ♪ ♪ three hundred sixty-five days you been making me wait so keep your two-timing games ♪ ♪ it's a lotta too late the summer's over over over over ♪ ♪ over over over i won't be your debutante won't be the fool to your savant ♪ ♪ i can't fix your cracked up dreams while the leaves fall off these trees ♪
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♪ i won't spend the winter nights holding on to what ain't right ♪ ♪ you might break your words real fast but mine are made to last ♪ ♪ three hundred sixty-five days you been making me wait ♪ ♪ so keep your two-timing games it's a lotta too late ♪ ♪ the summer's over over over over over over ♪ ♪ three hundred sixty-five days you been making me wait so keep your ♪ ♪ two-timing games it's a lotta too late the summer's over over over ♪ ♪ over over over over, over, over now ♪ ♪

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