>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- channing tatum, director paul feig, and music from pharrell williams with cleto and the cletones. and now, in all probability, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for watching, thank you for coming. it's noted and appreciated.

if you're wondering what happened to my eye, i'll tell you what happened. some jerk backstage was mouthing off about you guys. he said this wasn't a good audience. he said you're a bunch of losers and boozers, so i shoved him, and he punched me right in the face. this happened because i was defending your honor. so -- [ cheers and applause ] i guess that makes me your hero. i hope your tatums are ready to get channinged all over tonight. [ cheers and applause ] channing tatum is here today. on the same day that the supreme court paved the way for gay marriage in california. so am i the luckiest guy in the world or what? channing has a new movie called "white house down." and we'll see some of that. and we have outtakes from the "i want to dhang all ovchanning al tatum" music video.

but for now let's try to focus on paula deen. who did show up on her interview with matt lauer, she cancelled last week. as i'm sure you're aware, paula admitted she used the "n" word, the same one your uncle uses. the ham company she endorsed let her go. not a joke. now, today, walmart announced they will no longer stock her food products. and home depot said they won't carry whatever crap she sells to them either. this is the biggest scandal in the world of celebrity chefs, i think since mario batali had sex with a turducken. this morning paula sat down with matt lauer to do damage control. the interview got off to a rocky start when she instinctively tossed her keys to al roker. but -- it was an emotional interview. her message, though, was simple. her message was please keep paying me millions of dollars to eat mayonnaise on television. she was very upset. she was so upset she even had

her makeup artist draw her eyebrows curling upward toward the middle to accent her remorse. and she really broke down when she talked about her grandson. >> i'll tell you a conversation that i had with my 7-year-old grandson the other day. he had spent the night with me and i allowed him to stay up later than his bedtime. and i said, jock, honey, you're going to get me in trouble with mommy and daddy when you told them that had i let you stay up late. and he was playing with my ipad. and he put that ipad down, and he looked up at me and he said, "gamy, i don't tell lies." >> oh, gosh. >> jimmy: matt finds the silver lining in every situation. that's the thing. i will say, by the way, as an italian-american i am offended by her grandson's use of the

word gimmy. at the end of the interview, she said "i is what i is." i believe she was quoting gandhi. she also issued an unusual challenge to her detractors. >> if there's anyone out there that has never said something that they wish they could take back, if you're out there, please pick up that stone and throw it so hard at my head that it kills me. please. >> jimmy: well, you know what? she did ask for it. [ cheers and applause ] i'm sure she will be fine. very interesting, since this story broke, pre-sales of paula deen's upcoming cookbook have skyrocketed. the book is called "paula deen's new testament, 250 recipes

lightened up." monday it was ranked 900th on amazon. now it's sixth on amazon. apparently, america's distaste for racism is trumped by its taste for bacon. to be fair the only "n" word they use in the book is nutmeg. this is the kind of thing publishers of this cookbook and others can't afford to ignore. in fact, they just made some changes to wolfgang puck's new cookbook. it is now called "i hate mexicans: 500 light and easy recipes for summer." isn't that weird? what do you think of that, guillermo in. >> crazy. >> jimmy: it's crazy. and the supreme court handed down two big decisions on the subject of same-sex marriage today. until this morning marriage in the united states was defined as a contract between one man, one woman, and the producers of "the bachelor." but that is no longer the case. in a 5 h. decision the court struck down the major provision of the defense of marriage act. that denied benefits to same-sex couples. every person must spend at least one year in the same-sex

marriage. go to gaydate.org to meet your potential mate. the supreme court also banned proposition 8 which banned same-sex marriage here in california. the court ruled they didn't have the right to appeal the reversal last year. which means once again same-sex marriage will be legal in this state. the only catch is gays will be required to use straight wedding planners. there is a lot of news coverage of these rulings tad. but best of all is what they had i think on foxnews.com. this is the picture they ran with on foxnews.com. really captured the historic significance of the ruling. it's like somebody just told the guy it's free cone day at ben & jerry's. it was an especially good day for chris perry and sandy stieer, the lesbian couple who challenged prop 8 in court. not only was the ruling today a major victory, they got a call from president obama while they were being interviewed live on msnbc. >> the president's on the line. from air force one, president obama, go ahead. >> mr. president, this is chris

perry. >> this is sandy stuart. we thank you so much for your support. >> well, you're very welcome. and i just want to say, happy gay weddings to you. happy lesbian weddings to you. happy weddings, dear gays and lesbians. happy weddings to you. do you hear my phone? what did you think? that was for you guys. >> thank you, mr. president. >> yep. i wrote it myself. >> well, thank you, and while we celebrate today we know we have to roll up our sleeves and get to work for those in the 37 states that didn't get marriage equality. but we're well on our way, and we thank you for the leadership. you're invited to the wedding. >> that sounds terrible. >> bye-bye. >> thank you, mr. president. >> thank you. >> jimmy: wow, what a weird thing for him to say, i think he is taking advantage of those air force one mimosas.

elsewhere in washington there's another scandal brewing within the irs. an internal watchdog group claims some irs workers used agency credit cards to buy a wide variety of seemingly inappropriate things. one irs floyee reportedly charged more than $2500 worth of diet pills, romance novels and steaks to the irs. i don't know who that person is, but sounds like they might have a sadder life than bruce jenner even. also used to pay for kazoos, and nerf footballs. is the irs running an underground chucky cheese we don't know about it? two of the irs cards were used to purchase pornography, which i don't know. the irs is a huge organization. if only two of their employees used the company credit card to buy porn, i consider that a win. i saw a commercial today i feel compelled to share with you. it was made in china, like everything. it's an ad for a product called energy noodles. as far as i can tell these are noodles that give you a lot of energy.

>> [ speaking foreign language ]. >> mega bonus! >> jimmy: no wonder productivity there is so high. remember, if your mega bonus lasts more than four hours, please consult a physician. espn the magazine announced their fifth annual body issue which is kind of like their version of the "sports illustrated" swimsuit issue, will feature nude photographs of a number of athletes including 77-year-old golfer gary player. it's a big deal because if you wanted to see a naked 77-year-old man in the past you had to go to the locker room at 24-hour fitness.

i don't understand, i bet even gary player doesn't want to see gary player naked. but hey, maybe this will inspire old people to start playing golf. the race for mayor of new york city is getting interesting. a new survey shows that for the first time disgraced former congressman anthony weiner is the front-runner to be the democratic nominee. of course he's the guy who got caught sending pictures of his crotch to women while having the last name weiner simultaneously. among registered democrats he has 25% of the vote right now, in no small part thanks to this campaign ad that's been running. >> my weiner is strong. >> my weiner is proud. >> my weiner stands up for women. >> my weiner stands up for new york. >> my weiner is a good weiner. >> a firm weiner. >> hey, my weiner isn't perfect. >> whose weiner is? >> my weiner has a mole on it. >> it's time to give me weiner another chance. >> let's put my weiner to work. >> because my weiner is your weiner.

>> my weiner is new york's weiner. >> and new york needs weiner. >> anthony weiner for mayor. paid for by a bunch of new york weiner lovers. >> jimmy: we're not out of those jokes yet. we're going to take a break. but when we come back from that break, we shot a special edition of "liewitness news" outside the justin bieber concert last night. i think you will enjoy it. plus channing tatum, paul feig, and music from pharrell williams. so don't ever leave me. okay? [ cheers and applause ] america!

land of the free and home of the mouth-watering ball park frank... made with 100% angus beef... and just a dash of democracy. ball park franks. so american you can taste it. [ female announcer ] delight in each delicious moment with all the refreshing possibilities from mccafé. ♪

every irresistible smoothie and delectable frappé is a break from the ordinary. and it all starts with a sip. ♪ there's something for everyone to love from mccafé. ♪ don't you wanna, wanna ♪ don't you ♪ don't you want to see me flaunt what i got? ♪ oh. ♪ don't you ♪ don't you wanna, wanna ♪ don't you ♪ don't you wanna, wanna stress sweat is different than heat and activity sweat -- it smells worse. secret clinical strength gives you four times the protection against stress sweat. live fearlessly with secret clinical strength. ♪ [ gasps ] a little more to the left. we're trying our best, sir. maybe the round one. ♪ [ crunch ]

you're not very good at this are you? fire all four. are you serious? i'm waiting. make it rain. ♪ bullseye. four flavors. four shapes. new cheetos mix ups. you know who you are. you can part a crowd, without saying a word... if you have yet to master the quiet sneeze... you stash tissues like a squirrel stashes nuts... well muddlers, muddle no more. try zyrtec®. it gives you powerful allergy relief. and zyrtec® is different than claritin® because zyrtec® starts working at hour one on the first day you take it. claritin® doesn't start working until hour three. zyrtec®. love the air.

[ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: hi, everybody, welcome back. channing tatum, paul feig, and pharrell williams are here tonight. but first i would like to check in on our old pal snoop dogg. or snoop lion. whatever he is now. he has his own youtube channel calls the double g news channel. he hosts a show on the channel, under the pseudonym, nemo hose, he discusses all manner of important things going on in the world and occasionally he'll give an opinion on a theme park. >> you got to go to the sea world in san diego. >> we have a seaworld in miami. >> you got to go to the one in san diego. it is nice. >> yeah? >> i went there. the little walrus came in there. >> oh. >> i love walruses. >> jimmy: maybe next year he'll changes his name to spoop wal russes. and one more thing. you know, justin bieber, you live here you know he had a big two-night stand at the staple center last night. if you missed it, it went baby,

baby, baby, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, and then he went home. but as you know, justin bieber fans can be obsessive, so we thought this would be a good excuse to have some fun with him so we sent a crew to ask o'beliebers their opinions of what they thought of him. we wanted to see how blindly they would follow him. turns out, the answer is very, very blindly. this is a special justin bieber edition of "liewitness news." >> we're upset at justin bieber because his new bentley has tires made out of baby seals, do you think they should just leave him alone? >> yeah, i think it's his choice that's they don't need to criticize. because everybody else makes mistakes too and they don't criticize them. it's just him. >> people are angry at justin bieber because his new bentley has tires made out of baby seals. do you think they should just leave him alone? >> yeah. because he can do whatever he

wants. >> yeah. >> justin has said that because of his touring schedule he doesn't have time to learn how to read. do you think he needs to learn how to read? >> no. he's perfect the way he is. >> do you think justin meant it when he peed on the american flag? >> no. i don't think he did. just, you know, just being a teenager. >> what do you think he meant when he peed on the flag? >> probably just a joke. be funny. >> do you think it's funny? >> yeah. it was pretty funny. >> do you think justin bieber meant it when he peed on the american flag? >> i think he's just a young kid going through a phase. i don't think he meant anything bad. my daughter was pretty upset. but she's still a fan of his. >> she was pissed when she heard about that? >> she was pretty upset, but she still likes him a lot. >> over a game of cribbage justin punched his grandmother

in the stomach so hard that she had to go to the hospital. is that okay? >> it depends on the circumstances. like what was like happening before that. >> well, she was clearly cheating. >> well, he's a boy, and boys mess around a lot. and i don't think he meant to hurt her that much. >> what do you think of justin's new tattoo? >> i think whatever tattoo he gets is perfect on him, honestly. >> this is mike tyson with a mustache. >> justin's newest arm tattoo. do you think it's cool he has this tattooed on his arm? >> yeah. yeah. >> so this one is very exciting. he got this last week. >> i love cats and i think this is so creative. he used his belly button. i love it. >> do you think justin should be allowed to park his new ferrari in handicapped spots? >> i think. yeah. his ferrari's awesome. >> what if a handicapped woman

was trying to pull her van into that spot but justin bieber was in that spot with his ferrari? >> i would actually make her wait because justin bieber is justin bieber. he's -- yeah. >> do you think justin should be able to park his new ferrari in handicap spots? >> yeah. i mean, he's justin bieber. he shouldn't have to walk. >> yeah, he's like god. kiss the ground he walks on. >> jimmy: all right. thanks, kids. we've got a good show tonight. the director of the movie "the heat" paul feig is here. we've got music from pharrell williams. and we'll be right back with channing tatum. so stick around. oooooo, buddy! ha! ♪ i'm sorry.

[ male announcer ] at&t introduces the samsung galaxy s4 active. a puddle proof... celebration proof... kitchen proof... surprise proof... prank proof smartphone. [ cellphone ringing ] hello? everything you love about the galaxy s4, only it's whatever-proof. exclusively at at&t. ♪ you choose two seasonal favorites starting at $10.99. like a blackened sirloin with the wedge salad or lemon shrimp fettuccine and... [ male announcer ] you had us at $10.99. really? fist bump. [ male announcer ] applebee's new take two menu. two seasonal favorites, one amazing plate. see you tomorrow. where would you like to go tonight? ♪ [ male announcer ] it's a golden opportunity to see how lexus effortlessly connects you to where you're going. ♪ come to the golden opportunity sales event and experience the connectivity of lexus enform, available on all lexus models,

including the es and rx. ♪ this is the pursuit of perfection. i'm baby swiss. whaaaa... [ laughs ] what about now? i suppose that's... i'm you! [ laughs ] [ male announcer ] we take the time for our cheeses to mature before we bake them into every delicious cracker. because at cheez-it, real cheese matters.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there, welcome back to the program. tonight, the director of the new sandra bullock-melissa mccarthy film "the heat" which opens friday. paul feig is here. and then playing his single from the "despicable me 2" soundtrack, pharrell williams will be here.

tomorrow night from the nba champion miami heat dwyane wade will be here. from "scandal" tony goldwyn will be with us. and we'll have music from the neighborhood, too. so join us then. our first guest tonight is a very talented actor and a delightful man whose name is now a dirty word. on friday he teams up with an uncharacteristically presidential jamie foxx in the new movie "white house down." please welcome channing tatum. [ cheers and applause ] how are you doing? >> good, man. how are you? >> jimmy: i'm doing well. [ cheers and applause ] they've come to life all of a sudden. >> how are you, sir? >> jimmy: i'm doing well, thank you. how are you? i know you've been on this big press tour. >> yeah. it's toward the end, so it's good. >> jimmy: has it been a good one? >> it has been a good one. i can't keep up with the fox, with the jamie foxx. i really seriously cannot do it.

i don't know how he did it. like in miami, we literally had to do telemundo in the morning, he had stayed up all night partying with lebron. he comes in salsa dancing. i got like six hours of sleep, i'm done. >> jimmy: the key is to never sleep at all. it's like a constant party. he seems like he has fun in every situation. >> i feel like somehow people just follow him around with turntables and a microphone. everywhere he goes. it's just everywhere. >> jimmy: and to me, you seem like the kind of guy who likes to have fun and likes to hang out and that kind of thing. but even -- compared to him -- like compared to him you're like me probably. right? >> i don't know what you're like. i haven't exactly burned it down with you. >> jimmy: oh, a lump on a log. nothing going on. yeah, so it's hard to keep up with him. i would imagine it is. but fun probably, right? >> the best time i've had in my entire life, i hope to work with him for a long, long time. you see the music video. i mean, he's just -- he's on fire in the thing. >> jimmy: meanwhile, your wife

is at home with a newborn. >> yeah. i'm partying with jamie foxx. >> jimmy: you are traveling around the world with jamie. [ cheers and applause ] you have to do that thing where you pretend you didn't have a good time? >> absolutely. i'm going to be like, "hey, babe. what's going on? keep it down! yeah, it's such a hard day." >> jimmy: how old is your daughter now? >> she is 27 days old. >> jimmy: wow. that's nice. a good chunk of her life now you've been on this tour. in england, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: because you're shooting a movie there. and when will they come back to the united states? >> very soon, very soon, we just got a baby passport for her, which is -- >> jimmy: a what? >> yeah. it's hilarious. i don't understand why you need a baby passport. they all look like the gerber baby. >> jimmy: if you can fit in the overhead compartment you should be allowed to go anywhere you want. so on the passport is a picture of her as a baby? >> yeah. which is hilarious. because the only picture we had with the specs that they need, she looks like this. and i'm like, what, are you

going to look at the passport and can she make this face for me? i don't -- this is -- i don't think this is the same baby. >> jimmy: and what happens when she is seven, and she is handing this baby passport -- you know, are they going to accept that? >> excuse me, could you make this face? >> jimmy: i could be wrong, but i think they give you a little passport in the box with the kaj patch dolls. you probably could have used one of those. >> that's great. i didn't know they do that. >> jimmy: are they in a hotel? >> no. i stored them away like in a fairy village in england. it's crazy. the countryside in england is amazing. like it's beautiful. we go for walks. i'm on this estate that has a lot of land around it. and you just feel like fairies are going to fly out of everywhere. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: there's a lot of paparazzi over in that area. is that why you did that? >> they would take pictures of jenna every time she came out of the house before she had it, so we just kind of ran out away federal reserve and got away. they were even staying outside of the studio trying to follow

me home. and we would do all these crazy sort of smuggling me in the back of cars and trunks. one time we had to -- i even bailed out of the car and ran into the woods. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah. i had to have someone pick me up ab hour and a half later piem like sweating on a golf course, like hiding under a bridge. >> jimmy: what kind of dad do you think you will be when she is a teenager? >> suicidal? i don't know. if she's anything like i was -- >> jimmy: were you bad? what would you do? >> you know, the normal, you know, stuff. just sneaking out and whatnot. >> jimmy: you would sneak out of the house? >> yeah, i'd sneak out. >> jimmy: on weeknights? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how would you do it? was there a window? >> no. my dad would snore. the windows would collapse in a little bit, he would snore. we had a sliding glass door because it was florida. and i would just like -- on the inhale of the snore you'd just be like -- [ snoring ] .

you know, and slide out. but it sucked, though, when you came home and he wasn't snoring. and you'd just be like oh, no. oh, no. one time i had to like basically sleep outside, not sleep outside, but i had to wait. like all -- he was sleeping but he wasn't snoring. >> jimmy: you weren't hearing noises? >> and i was like no, not yet. not yet. i'm not about to walk in and he would be like what are you doing? >> jimmy: now, i want to ask you about the music video, were you in london when "channing all over your tatum" came out? >> yes, thank you very much for that. >> jimmy: and do you know regret -- because i was thinking about you. it's hard to get out of your head. i was thinking, wow, he might hear this now for the rest of his life. >> i'm so afraid people are going to think i'm such an egomaniac because i walk around singing my own name. >> jimmy: right. >> you know you say something so much it doesn't mean anything anymore. you could be like watermelon, watermelon and then it's not watermelon anymore. i'm always like "chang all over your tatum." and i'm afraid people who don't

know me are like oh, my god, he just loves himself. >> jimmy: kanye west level of egomania. i thought yeah, this was a great thing and then maybe this was a mistake, this could have been a bhivg. >> even on hoda and kathie lee she was like will you hoda all over my kotb? i was just like i'm not going to touch that one, hoda. i'm just going to stay out of this. >> jimmy: well, we have some of the outtakes that did not make the "channing all over your tatum" video. >> oh, no. >> jimmy: it's nothing too terrible but i think people will enjoy it. ♪ ♪ and i know ♪ oh, [ bleep ] >> definitely broke down my -- ♪

>> is it making my wife do things? >> yeah, it is. [ laughter ] >> take it, jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: channing tatum, from "white house down." we'll be right back. i like a clean kitchen. i don't do any cleaning. i make dirt. ♪ i'm not big enough or strong enough for this.

there should be some way to make it easier. [ doorbell rings ] [ morty ] here's a box, babe. open it up. oh my goodness! what is a wetjet? some kind of a mopping device. there's a lot of dirt on here. morty, look at how easy it is. it's almost like dancing. [ both humming ] this is called the swiffer dance. [ male announcer ] ever wonder why no other mouthwash feels like listerine®? because no other mouthwash works like listerine®. in your mouth, bacteria forms in layers. listerine® penetrates these layers deeper than other mouthwashes, killing bacteria all the way down to the bottom layer. so for a cleaner, healthier mouth,

go with the mouthwash dentists recommend more than all others combined. #1 dentist recommended listerine®... power to your mouth™. [ ding ding ] [ female voice ] i'm sorry. i don't zoom like that. ouch. ouch. ♪ you can't put an sd card there. or there. or there. you can do two things at once? that's cool. ♪ oh. that's not cool. ♪ choose your experience. choose your flavor. [ humming ] a tingling spearmint.

[ ice crackling ] a cooling peppermint. 5 gum. stimulate your senses. you choose two seasonal favorites starting at $10.99. like a blackened sirloin with the wedge salad or lemon shrimp fettuccine and... [ male announcer ] you had us at $10.99. really? fist bump. [ male announcer ] applebee's new take two menu. two seasonal favorites, one amazing plate. see you tomorrow.

land of the free and home of the mouth-watering ball park frank... made with 100% angus beef... and just a dash of democracy. ball park franks. so american you can taste it. [ yowls ] ♪ ♪ [ music, indistinct talking on tv ] you're eating all the ammo, sir. remember your training.

your whole life has been leading to this moment. [ blows ] [ woman shrieks ] ♪

we've got to punch a hole. >> the weapons are locked in the back. >> jackpot! >> what you got? >> yeah, that's what i'm talking about. see that thing in your hand? >> i know you're into peace and all that. you got to stick that thing out there and go to work. >> damn right. >> hold it with two hands, mr. president. >> here it comes.

>> i lost the rocket launcher. >> you what? how do you lose a rocket launcher? >> jimmy: that is channing tate sxum president jamie foxx in "white house down." it opens on friday. you know, maggie gyllenhaal was here, and said while she loved jamie she would not support a jamie foxx presidency. >> why? >> jimmy: she didn't think it would be good for the country. >> it would be a party, we could have a couple good years of just complete partying. there would be parties on the steps of the white house. >> jimmy: turntables in the rose garden. i agree. i know it would be a lot of fun. i know you screened the movie in washington, d.c., for the head of the department of homeland security, janet napolitano. >> it was unreal. like just to stand across from here. i was just wondering how many dots did i have on my forehead? just let him make a move and we're going to take him out. >> jimmy: the idea of her going to a movie is kind of strange. >> i'm like don't you have to protect something?

aren't you -- >> jimmy: making sure nobody sneaks into the theater. did you talk to her at all? >> she's actually a very humorous woman. she's so funny and charismatic and at the very end, though, she lets you know. she grabbed me and pulled me close and whispered in my ear, "never show fear." and i've never been so scared in my entire life at that moment. i was just like, yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am. >> jimmy: do you think she meant that sexually? >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: it's possible. >> not possible, i guess. >> jimmy: you know, i want to give you something. i have a little gift for you, a little something for your daughter, actually. this is a memento from the music video you that were nice enough to shoot for us. and you can -- here, go ahead, that's for you. it's a little baby -- a little baby "chang all over your tatum" onesie. that's what they call them, right? [ cheers and applause ] >> aren't they so adorable in.

>> jimmy: why do i have a feeling we're going to see you squeezing into that at one point? well, it is very good to see you. congratulations on the movie and the baby. channing tatum, everybody, "white house down," in theaters friday. we'll be right back with paul feig. ♪ little brother? i guess. did you download that book i sent? yah, nice rainbow highlighter. you've got finch for math right? uh-uh. english? her. splanker, pretend we're not related. oh trust me, you don't want any of that. you got my map? yeah. where you can sit can define your entire year. and what's the most important thing to remember? no face to face contact until we're off of school property. you got this. sharing what you've learned. that's powerful. verizon. get the samsung galaxy s3 for $49.99. [ crunching ] [ trumpet alert! ] [ orbit girl ] don't let food hang around. [ laughs ] clean it up

[ ding! ] with sugar free orbit! fabulous! for that just-brushed clean feeling... ♪ eat, drink, chew orbit [ crowd cheering ] [ crowd cheering ] [ male announcer ] for sensitive skin, there's fusion proglide. our micro thin blades are thinner than a surgeon's scalpel to glide effortlessly for our gentlest, most comfortable shave. switch to fusion proglide. #1 dermatologist recommended on sensitive skin. and now try new fusion proglide sensitive shave gel. gillette. the best a man can get.

oh, uh, new cheez-it zingz -- the crunchiest cheez-it yet. ♪ ehh ehh ehh ehh please no... ♪ wild zingz... [ male announcer ] we take the time for our cheese to mature before we bake it into our new zingz crackers because at cheez-it, real cheese matters.

why let erectile dysfunction get in your way? talk to your doctor about viagra. ask if your heart is healthy enough for sex.

do not take viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain; it may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure. side effects include headache, flushing, upset stomach, and abnormal vision. to avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than four hours. stop taking viagra and call your doctor right away, if you experience a sudden decrease or loss in vision or hearing. this is the age of taking action. viagra. talk to your doctor. chewy inside...e of crunch n' chew. with a crunchy candy shell. untamed fruit flavor. jolly rancher crunch n' chew.

♪ >> jimmy: still to come, music from pharrell williams. our next guest created the very fondly remembered "fraekds and geeks." he directed the movie "bridesmaids" among many other things. his latest directorial effort with sandra bullock and melissa mccarthy is called "the heat." it opens friday. please welcome paul feig. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> it's so exciting when there's a film director on the show, isn't it? >> jimmy: no, the audience goes crazy. >> crazy. they love filmmakers.

>> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm good. >> jimmy: tell bus yourself. where are you from? >> michigan, a michigan boy, born and raised. detroit. >> jimmy: detroit -- even our warmup guy is from detroit. and he didn't say anything. >> i saw him hiding. hello. son of a retailer. my dad owned a army surplus store growing up. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. that's why in "freaks and geeks" i had the dad own a surplus store. >> jimmy: is that a good deal when your dad -- i mean, is there anything in it for you? >> well, the only thing that is in it for you, your 5 years old, your dad says, hey, you're going to come work for me. basically free child labor is what you get out of it. >> jimmy: i would imagine you get a big discount on canteens. >> oh, yeah. the hat, the -- >> jimmy: what did you do there? >> everything that nobody else wanted to do. i was in charge of cleaning the bathrooms, which i did until i was 18 years old. i had no seniority over anybody else. but what he did do is he helped launch my film career because he allowed me to -- when i was 15, to write, direct, and star in the tv commercials for his store. >> jimmy: and star in them? >> yes. exactly. >> jimmy: wow.

>> you can imagine how good i was. i was obsessed with steve martin. so i had like a three-piece white suit and did these ridiculous -- with my high voice. and i had a lisp back then. >> jimmy: how old were you exactly when you were making the commercials? >> i was 15 years old. and there was three in the series. first one's just the steve martin suit. then groucho marx. and then a tarzan. a spicy tarzan spot. >> jimmy: all three personalities that really kind of zero in on the army surplus demographic. >> the full army surplus experience, if you will. >> jimmy: what were the commercials like? what did you do? >> it was basically me talking to the camera, wearing different outfits. but then i eventually had the other employees of the store wear the outfits and i would mince about in my comedy gear. >> jimmy: and did you become a local celebrity as a result of those commercials? >> here's the thing. i thought i was going to be so famous. literally the first day this they aired i was like okay, today's the last day i can walk the street. because i will be mobbed. it will happen. and it didn't happen. and i kept waiting for it to happen. and then one day i was working

behind the counter and a guy comes in, this big hunter guy, and he goes, hey, you're the kid from the commercials. i said thank you very much, yes, i am. and he said, "well, i didn't say i liked them." so that's the respect i got. >> jimmy: you were unable to achieve your dream of becoming a local celebrity. >> a local laughing stock. >> jimmy: that is unfortunate. how did you become a performer? what was your next step? >> i mean, i noodled around in the high school drama club and all that. but my big claim to fame was i was ronald mcdonald, at age 17 in toledo, ohio. >> jimmy: wow. that's a very young ronald. >> yes, thank you. [ applause ] >> jimmy: wait a minute. you actually moved to take a job as ronald mcdonald? >> no, i was transported over the border. much like the underground railroad. i was taken -- i was in community theater and the guy who ran it was this guy tom shaker who was the ronald mcdonald for the detroit metro area sxep was famous because he was one of only two recipients ever of the golden shoe award.

>> jimmy: how do you get that? >> he got it because -- i was there the day. he's flying in to a new mcdonald's in a helicopter and is coming in and it hits power lines. the helicopter flips, lands upside down, and crashes in front of hundreds of horrified children. he crawls out of the wreckage, takes his wig, straightens it, and gets up and does his magic show. >> jimmy: what -- >> yeah. exactly. [ cheers and applause ] >> i was like who's the other guy who got the golden shoe award? did he save his platoon in vietnam? >> jimmy: and for that he got a golden shoe. >> got the golden shoe. then he realized he could branch out into toledo, ohio. >> jimmy: were you a good ronald? well, obviously you're no tom shaker. >> he said i can do this, i can do magic, juggle. he says we're just going to take down to toledo, and show you to the mcdonald's people. so i got the full gear, and the

minute i get there, right before i walk in he says i told them you have been doing this for a long time. and he sends me in. ronald wears enormous shoes. which i had never worn before. >> jimmy: perfect. >> so this was pretty much my entrance into the room. the expert ronald was -- hi. hi. like that. >> jimmy: and did the people -- [ applause ] were they angry? >> well, i played it off as comedy. i was trying to be clumsy ronald, if you will. then i had to have gloves and he gave me these balls lighter than nerf balls to juggle. i went hey, they were rolling down the table and -- >> jimmy: are you sure that tom wasn't screwing with you? it sounds like he might have been. did you actually work as -- did you get the job? >> i got the gig. my first gig they send me to the closing day of a school, you know, the last day of school, elementary school. and all the mcdonald's reps are in the back. i'm trying to do this magic show, doing a poor decision, i said let's do the chicken mcnuggets. i did this pan, i take a top off

and a rubber chicken jumped out. i see all of them back at the thing just like writing, "no, do not do that." but then i panicked. what happens is it ended. i go, all right, i'm going to come down and give out candy. and i dumbly walk down into children as opposed to you're supposed to have your person take you out to a safe area and then bring the kids in. i go down, it's like the beatles had walked into this place. they attack, and then all of a sudden they reach into my pockets and they found candy -- "he's got candy!" and they tear my pockets off. and candy's flying off. and i'm getting mobbed. i had more candy in another pocket. i take it, throw it in the air. get the candy. they all run, and i run out of the place with my ronald assistant. i go get in the car, get in the car! he pulls up in the car. i'm like get out, it's my car. he gets out, i jump in the car and rev it up, and i see the head of mcdonald's in toledo like running toward me and he's got this big smile on his face. he's like, "ronald!

ronald!" i pull over. he sticks his hand in the window, almost crushes my hand, he goes, "ronald doesn't drive." >> jimmy: ronald doesn't derive. >> who knew? >> jimmy: like a human pinata for a time there. >> it was wonderful. >> jimmy: and then you came out to los angeles? >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you come out as a kid here? >> i mean, actually, i was 17, right around that same time i had done that and decided i wanted to try to get into show biz. found out i could audition to be a tour guide at universal studios. >> jimmy: nice. >> came out, my friend and i drove out for 36 hours, i said we have to go to hollywood boulevard. there's going to be stars all over the place. it's going to be glamour, glitz. we've got to go. we pull up in front of your theater. i pull up, this kid from michigan, we stop, it's horrifying. and then two hookers jump on my car, literally on the hood of my car, going "aaah!" and then they run off. i don't know why they did. i personally think it was my father's way to get me to move

back to michigan. i think he hired them. for 50 bucks will you jump on his car? >> jimmy: well, it is very nice to meet you. the movie is called "the heat." like the team, that has got to be a good sign, right? it is exciting. >> you know, it is sandra bullock and melissa mccarthy, you can't grow wrong with them. >> jimmy: well, congratulations. paul feig, everyone. "the heat" opens in theaters on friday. we'll be right back with liams.ll williams. [ cheers and applause ] >> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by sony.

>> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by sony. >> jimmy: "despicable me 2" is in theaters on july 3rd. here now way song from it called "happy" from the el rey theater here in l.a., pharrell williams. ♪ it might seem crazy what i'm about to say ♪ ♪ sunshine she's here, you can take a break ♪ ♪ i'm a hot air balloon that could go to space ♪

♪ with the air like i don't care baby by the way ♪ ♪ because i'm happy clap along if you feel like a room without a roof ♪ ♪ because i'm happy, clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth ♪ ♪ because i'm happy, clap along if you know what happiness is to you ♪ ♪ because i'm happy, clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do ♪ ♪ here come bad news talking this and that, yeah, give me all you got don't hold it back ♪ ♪ yeah well i should probably warn you i'll be just fine ♪ ♪ yeah no offense to you don't waste your time here's why ♪ ♪ because i'm happy, clap along

if you feel like a room without a roof ♪ ♪ because i'm happy, clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth ♪ ♪ because i'm happy, clap along if you know what happiness is to you ♪ ♪ because i'm happy, clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do ♪ ♪ everybody in the middle get down with me ♪ ♪ here we go ♪ happy come on bring me down ♪ happy come on bring me down ♪ can't nothing bring me down ♪ can't nothing bring me down ♪ my love is too high to bring me down ♪ ♪ because i'm happy, clap along if you feel like a room without a roof ♪ ♪ because i'm happy, clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth ♪ ♪ because i'm happy, clap along

if you know what happiness is to you ♪ ♪ because i'm happy, clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do ♪ ♪ because i'm happy, clap along if you feel like a room without a roof ♪ ♪ because i'm happy, clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth ♪ ♪ because i'm happy, clap along if you know what happiness is to you ♪ ♪ because i'm happy, clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do ♪ ♪ here we go ♪ happy, can't nothing bring me down ♪ ♪ happy, can't nothing bring me down ♪ ♪ because i'm happy, clap along if you feel like a room without a roof ♪ ♪ because i'm happy, clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth ♪