"jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- vin diesel. 11 year-old film-maker zachary maxwell. and music from john legend. with cleto and the cletones. and now, back again, here is jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: thank you for watching, thank you for being here, very nice.

back to work after a two-week vacation. it is hard to get back to work after a vacation, even when you have a stupid job like this it is hard to get back to work. yesterday was labor day. you know, they say you're not supposed to be white after labor day. i really had no choice, i blame my parents. labor day to me is the most depressing holiday of the year, because summer is over. although you wouldn't know it from the weather around here. the best way to tell when the season changes around here is when the costume outside changes from greenish to brownish. you know, we're not the only ones with costumes, begging for neighborhoods. they do it in times square, too, for some reason, the artist painted two naked women and put them on the street. which came as quite a shock to -- [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: in times square. that is what it looks like. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: when a muppet goes through puberty, i think he finally found something he loves more than cookies. speaking of muppets, guillermo is on twitter, how was your vacation? >> oh, i went to cancun. >> jimmy: in mexico? >> yes. >> jimmy: and they let you back in? guillermo went on a tear this morning on twitter. at 4:59 a.m., he tweeted i am hungry, also afraid to go to the kitchen and start making noise. why are you afraid to go to the kitchen? >> the wife is sleeping. >> jimmy: and then 20 minutes later, he wrote, i think coffee and green juice, perfect breakfast. what kind of green juice are you eating? >> my wife made kale, celery and

parsley. >> jimmy: what was the last item? >> parsley? >> jimmy: broccoli? >> no, parsley, yeah, >> jimmy: and then he tweeted, no more breakfast burrito, i need to stay healthy, who were you talking to, yourself? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and another tweet, my favorite grocery, and he tweeted a picture of himself outside whole food. and who took this picture? >> one of the employees. >> jimmy: one of the employees? >> yes. >> jimmy: you gave them a camera and asked them to post a picture of you? >> yes. >> jimmy: and then posted it for all to see? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and then one more, he tweeted, burned calories without working out, great news. so how do you burn calories without working out?

>> just drink juice. and that is it. >> jimmy: okay. all right, well, richard simmons will be here tomorrow, we'll pass that along to him. >> oh, yeah, yeah, okay, i'll tell him. >> jimmy: we have a good mix of guests for you tonight. vin diesel is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: vin is not his real name. his real name is vehicle identification number. we'll also be joined by a very smart kid, zachary maxwell, who made a documentary about how terrible school lunch is, this kid blew the whole lid off. turns out the ladies in the plastic caps? making millions. and we'll have music from john legend tonight.

chapter chaum. >> jimmy: this is good news, the nfl returns on thursday night. and time warner cable subscribers in new york and dallas are happy because the company finally settled their dispute with cbs, as a negotiation tactic, time warner blacked out all the stations for a month. people were forced to get by with only 777 other channels, according to the reports, cbs will get two dollars from you, per month, and time warner, it is what they call a win, win, ll cool j can purchase as many hats. this is entertaining. this happened at the camping world truck series in ontario, canada, this weekend. a driver named max pappas another drive here, stick with

us, until the angry girlfriend shows up. >> awesome show, and -- come back again. >> jimmy: well, he has a smile on his face even after what happened. >> and most of the competitors are mad, but all the fans are happy, i mean, what an incredible weekend we have had in canada. >> 14 ten top straight wins -- >> jimmy: not all the fans, wow, the real housewives are everywhere, aren't they? anyway, he put his head back on, he will be back on track next week. and the upcoming panel for idol, this year they will have three judges down from four, and they also added a gong, which i think is long over due, jennifer lopez is coming back. the new judge is harry connick, jr., they should have to serve at one point, like their version of jury duty.

the surprise is that randy jackson is also returning to the show as a mentor for contestants. he was supposed to be kicked off the show. this will be quite a transition for randy, now instead of telling the contestants, dog, you blew it out the box, he will have to say dog, blow it out the box. oral roberts university held a series to celebrate the new season. they released a real life eagle inside the chapel as part of the ceremony, and here is how that went. [ cheers and applause ] even the eagles are drunk in college. what did they think would happen? anyway, they fried it up and served it with onion rings, not

a complete loss. and dennis rodman returned to north korea this morning, and with any luck, for good. he says he is not going there for diplomatic reason, he just likes being taller than an entire country. actually, he is going to hang out with his friend, kim jong-un, this could turn out to be the most romantic love story of all times. if somebody told you dennis rodman, a basketball player, was hooking up with kim you would assume they meant a kardashian, right? major news out of hollywood, the leads for the movie "50 shades of gray" announced, very big news for your horny aunt dotty. and melanie griffith's daughter, and the casting in particular was a surprise since it was widely assumed that the role for the male would go to me. but this is charlie from the

music "pacific rim." interesting fact, charlie was created in the same lab that they created chris and liam hemsworth. you know, no offense, i think they were a little hasty on the casting on this. who knows, maybe there was somebody who would be better, maybe there is somebody right outside the theater right now? just to be sure that the producers of the movie "50 shades of gray" would be right. we went out on hollywood boulevard to see if we could find somebody better. what are we looking for here? >> i'm basically looking for any perverted tourist couple who knows how to read. >> jimmy: all right, let's listen to these two. >> stephanie fowler from chattanooga, tennessee. >> wade fowler from chattanooga, tennessee. >> stephanie fowler, that is your name? >> that is my name.

>> jimmy: how about that, that is the woman who puts the makeup on my head's name. have you ever acted before, stephanie? >> no, never. >> jimmy: okay, and neither of you has done any professional acting? >> no. >> jimmy: have you read the book? >> we read it three times. >> jimmy: all right, we selected a passage for you, and just do this, let's go ahead. >> come stand beside me like last time. >> my blood was thrumming through my body, and this time, i'm excited, aroused. >> ask me. >> i frown, ask him what? >> ask me. >> what? how was your water? how does he want it? >> ask me anastasiya. i wouldn't say it again. >> and there is the threat, and it dawns on me, he wants me to

ask him to spank me. holy [ bleep ] he is looking at me unexpectedly. his eyes growing bolder, spank me, please. >> jimmy: wow, well, spank her! [ cheers and applause ] all right, stay out there, maybe we'll try somebody else, thank you, fellas, that was very well done. i just like to be thorough and make sure they got the right guys. we'll take a break, when we come back, vin diesel is here, 11-year-old filmmaker, zachary maxwell is here, and good-bye to feet, the great john legend is here. [ cheers and applause ]

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, welcome back, vin diesel, 11-year-old filmmaker zack maxwell, and john legend are here. can i just say something for a second? i was just looking at you guys. we've got dicky here, our announcer. there's dicky. >> dicky: hello, jimmy. >> jimmy: and then we've got cleto now, who's sporting some new facial hair after the break. here's the thing. it's bad enough that one of you has that on your face. we can't have both -- it can't be on both. >> okay. >> jimmy: we can't have two men play the magician on the show -- >> i'll shave. >> jimmy: you guys could trade off. >> i'll shave. >> jimmy: all right, well, let's go back outside to find our potential christian and anastasia. oh, hello. again, they're making a movie of "fifty shades of grey." and i'm just worried they won't have the casting right. what is your name? >> my name's elvia.

>> jimmy: where are you from? >> los angeles. >> jimmy: and is this your husband? >> it is. >> jimmy: it is. what is your name? >> omar. >> jimmy: great, omar and elvia, have you acted professionally before? >> no. >> jimmy: great. so you're fresh faces. >> yes. >> jimmy: so have you read the book? >> no, not at all. >> jimmy: do you know what the book is about? >> no. >> jimmy: okay, you will be playing a guy named christian, okay? >> sounds great. >> jimmy: well, we selected a go ahead and do that. and really, give it your all. >> okay. gagging me, i would be worried i wouldn't be able to breathe. >> i'd be worried if you couldn't breathe. i don't want you to suffocate yourself. >> and how will i use -- how will i use safe words if i'm gagged? >> first of all, i would hope you would never have to use them. but if you gagged, we'll use your hand signals. he said simply. >> but i'm trussed up.

how is that going to work? my brain is beginning to fog, hmm. alcohol, i'm nervous about the gagging. >> okay, i'll take a note. >> that's good. >> jimmy: wow, very well done. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's nice. >> jimmy: hey, i have an idea. why don't you guys jump in the back of that cab and make love? >> yeah. go put a baby in her. >> jimmy: thank you, guys, thank you very much. i think they probably -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i mentioned earlier that summer is -- it's essentially over. and while that does make me feel sad, there is a silver lining. and that is, we no longer have to see people's feet. all summer long, you see flip-flops, you see sandals, you see a lot of toes, and not just in real life. on facebook. on instagram. they're everywhere. i, for one, don't care for it. so tonight, to wish those feet a not very fond farewell, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome john legend. john? [ cheers and applause ]

♪ say good-bye ♪ to your disgusting feet ♪ the flip-flops you wore to work ♪ ♪ they didn't work ♪ no, no, no, no, no ♪ for the love of god ♪ please put some shoes on ♪ maybe get a pedicure ♪ it's not hard ♪ to say good-bye ♪ to your hairy toes

♪ oh, come on, what the hell ♪ they're like gloves on your feet ♪ ♪ they're worse than wearing crocs ♪ ♪ with wool socks ♪ oh, oh, oh ♪ no more tevas ♪ no more crocs ♪ and screw you, birkenstocks ♪ it's not hard ♪ to say good-bye ♪ to your hairy toes

♪ ooh [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: john legend, everyone. thank you, john. tonight on the show 11-year-old filmmaker zack maxwell is here, music from john legend, real music. and we'll be right back with vin diesel. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] diesel. ♪ ♪ but some liquid stays trapped, deep inside the wood. this is the devil's cut, and we've found a way to extract it.

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, tonight on the program a very interesting young man. he's only 11 years old, but he's already made an award-winning movie called "yuck: a 4th grader's short documentary about school lunch." filmmaker and trouble-maker, zachary maxwell is here. and it is way past his bedtime. and then - his brand new album came out today -- it's called "love in the future." john legend from the sony outdoor stage. tomorrow night, bill hader will be with us, richard simmons will be here, and we'll have music from alpine. and later this week,

celine dion, jane lynch, jerry o'connell, jim o'heir, and 2 chainz. he's a classical violinist, i think. our first guest is an internationally beloved movie star with a hard body and a smooth head. he returns to the role of futuristic criminal, hero and alien eliminator richard riddick in the new movie "riddick." it opens in theaters friday, please say hello to vin diesel. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: first, congratulations to you, because you got a star on the hollywood walk of fame. >> thank you. >> jimmy: was that meaningful to you, or was it just another thing, accolade? >> no, it was very meaningful.

it was schedule because my parents were there. >> jimmy: that is a special thing isn't it? and it never goes away, it will always be there. >> never goes away. >> jimmy: unless there is a terrible earthquake, and we'll all be gone. your daughter was there, too, this was very cute. you have given a nice thumbs up to your daughter. not as enthusiastic. >> she loved it. she loved it. she approved. >> jimmy: you started to write movies before you acted in them, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how old were you when you started to act in movies? >> well, i started acting when i was seven, as you know. and i came out to california when i was 22. and i thought the doors would open up because i was a new york actor. and a year and a half later i didn't have an agent, so i had to go back to new york, get my bouncing job back. and i was feeling at some point that my dream would never happen.

so i went to the wiz -- >> jimmy: nobody beats the wiz store. >> the nobody beats the wiz store. >> jimmy: i thought you were an actual wizard. >> well, not a bad idea, wizards have their place in society. so i went to this store, and bought a processer, i had one month to write my script. because at the end of the month i had to return the word processer to pay for the rent. >> jimmy: really? wow. >> so i owe it all to the wiz, in that one month, i returned -- >> jimmy: you returned it in a month? did you actually close the word processer -- >> i think -- >> jimmy: that is some story, somebody about a question and answer with you, and asked what the most impressive number in your cell phone was, and you said it is bill clinton's phone

number. >> pretty impressive. >> jimmy: but i will say even more impressive that bill clinton has your phone number. >> very, very true. [ cheers and applause ] >> so true -- >> jimmy: do you text him ever? >> i don't text him. >> jimmy: send any emoticons his way? >> i went to an initiative in the past, and he came up to me and said he was a fan of my work and has seen all of my movies. and then he started to prove all of the movies that he saw. and i was just blown away. >> jimmy: and then he said hey, let's trade phone numbers. >> i'm in harlem, if you ever have a problem, call me -- >> jimmy: really? you wrote on your facebook page that you have a story about nelson mandela. and you said you wanted to tell that story at some point. >> how many years ago did i write that? >> jimmy: i have no idea, i have no idea. but i want to hear what the

story is, especially now, with nelson mandela, who is very sick and all. >> can we just do a small prayer for nelson mandela. can we just have two seconds of silence for nelson mandela. >> jimmy: we've never had that. >> and you, too, jimmy. >> jimmy: okay, you tell me when it is appropriate to talk. i am excited we just prayed for nelson mandela with vin diesel. >> that is not a bad thing! [ cheers and applause ] we have the same birthday. and my publicist a couple of years ago called me and said he has a relatively young girl that is in the hospital. and he went to visit this young girl in the hospital and said what can i do for you? how can i make your stay in this hospital more tolerable.

and she said i want a signed dvd from vin diesel. and so they called up and i signed the pacifier. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, the pacifier, sure, yeah. wow, so you gave nelson mandela some swag? >> i gave him a little swag, i gave him a little swag, again, we have the same birthday. by the way, jimmy, you look great. >> jimmy: oh, thank you very much. i appreciate that. >> married life treating you very well. congratulations on that. >> jimmy: thank you very much. i appreciate that. i saw your movie and it is real really, really good. this is a movie that -- what? go on -- i really did, because it reminded me -- well, we're going to show a clip when we come back. but it reminded me of a clip, rambo and alien, and you are rambo in this movie. do you think that is a good description of what is going on? >> i think that is fair.

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aaaarg! >> jimmy: there he is. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: vin diesel! "riddick" opens in theaters friday. for those who did not see the first two "riddick" movies, explain the character. >> the character, the character is an inter-galactic character, i guess, i mean you guys could probably explain it better than me. does anyone know riddick? [ cheers and applause ]

>> what is interesting about this saga, is that we are learning more about him each film that comes out. so it is interesting how the mythology kind of unravels the character's identity. >> jimmy: there is a lot of action, but it is not the typical "we have to save the world," but it is very intense at times. >> it is very tense, i take my hat off, as you know, the first act felt like a jeremiah johnson -- >> jimmy: you're just kind of roaming the first 30 minutes of the film. >> with no actor to act off of. which was very inspiring and challenging, i went to the woods for four months to -- >> jimmy: get away from your family? why did you go to the wood s fo four months?

>> there is no reason i would go -- jimmy is the kind of guy if we were having beers, the jokes would have stopped. >> jimmy: no, you wouldn't have beers with me, i would be laughing alone, drinking beer. >> i went because it is such a -- the core character, i was also producing it. so it was very important to get that reclusive nature about the character before shooting the movie. >> jimmy: you financed this movie, too? >> i financed it at a critical point. >> jimmy: i see. >> at a critical point where we had had gone to europe and gotten the foreign financing. there is something called gat financing. and there was a period of time, a lot of people heard about it where they put padlocks on the original studio we were going to shoot at in montreal, and they kept all of our files because they didn't think we had any money left. >> jimmy: and you kicked the door in and beat the crap out of all of them, right!

[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: see, because i looked on rotten tomatoes, you got 97 positives, and that is good, because you would be homeless if this movie didn't do good. you would be living on your own hollywood walk of fame -- so that is good. we'll be right back with zachary maxwell [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause ]

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: still to come, john legend. >> jimmy: at only 11 years old, our next guest is already an accomplished filmmaker. his movie, "yuck: a 4th grader's short documentary about school lunch" has won multiple awards, and vin diesel just signed him to direct the next "fast & furious" movie. so please welcome zachary maxwell

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: did you have that suit or did you buy it especially for this? >> i bought it especially for this. >> jimmy: oh, very good, very good. so why did you decide to make a documentary about the lunch at school? >> well, because o-- i just wanted -- i wanted to bring my own lunch to school, but my parents wanted me to eat the school lunch. >> jimmy: lazy parents. >> it was sort of convenient for them, because the school -- >> jimmy: yeah, i know it is. >> it was free. but -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> like, they showed me the menus. and they said it was like -- it looked really good and sounded really good. and i told them it was not what i was getting served. and of course, they didn't believe me. so i decided to bring my own camera, about the size of my hand, to school. and i decided to record the school lunch and i brought it back to them and they were like oh, my gosh!

>> jimmy: they were horrified. so you did it just to prove to your parents you were having horrible lunches at school. and you decided to make it into a film. which videotaping was not permissible at your school? >> only with the principal's permission. >> jimmy: did you have the permission of the principal? >> no. >> jimmy: and did you have accomplices? because you're in the documentary, somebody else was shooting you? >> yeah, at first it was just like me, and then later i realized i needed somebody to film me filming my lunch. so i needed somebody to film me filming. so i had three people, and then i needed lookouts so i didn't get caught by the lunch monitor. >> jimmy: who were your lookouts? >> some of my closer friends. >> jimmy: and they kept a watchout to make sure the teachers didn't know you were doing a film? >> yes.

>> jimmy: and what happened at the end? >> well, i was becoming more reckless in the filmmaking, because i wanted to get the shots that i needed. and they also got like distracted because they were looking at girls, so they were not really paying attention. and then the lunch monitor came along and she caught me. >> jimmy: did you fire your friends? >> yeah, definitely. >> jimmy: you did, you got rid of them. what happened when the lunch monitor caught you? >> well, she brought me to my classroom teacher, but my classroom teacher told me to delete everything. so i just kind of fiddled my thumbs, not really doing anything. >> jimmy: oh, you pretended to delete. and adults will believe almost anything, right? >> yeah, they don't understand the switch board. >> jimmy: yeah, we have a clip from your movie, well, let's take a look. >> you see what is being served up.

nacho party, southwest style beef, steak, or a taco boat with hot confetti corn. taco party? nuggets or crispy chicken nuggets, in a warm taco tub! and now, the pizza party! new york style pizza with marinated green beans, and potatoes, or veggie burgers. >> jimmy: yeah, doesn't look like any of those things were served. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so you were supposed to get the green bean, there were no green beans. by the way, i would like to die in a warm taco tub, just in case anybody was wondering. so the pizza was horrific.

did they change anything for you at the school after this? >> well, i'm bringing my own lunch. so things changed for me, but i don't know about anything else. >> jimmy: but the school didn't reform things, they were not embarrassed and said oh, we were supposed to give the kids this, and they're not? >> well, i think they're trying to change things. >> jimmy: trying? so in other words you did all of this for nothing. that is what we've learned here, right? >> i guess. >> jimmy: so okay, so are you still in that school or have you been thrown out and beaten? >> well, i guess i have been thrown out because i am going to middle school now. >> jimmy: oh, you graduated. so you got out of there just in time. did anybody get mad at you after the documentary came out? did anybody give you a talking to? >> no one gave me like the evil eye or anything. yeah, nothing really happened after that. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> i was famous for like five minutes, that went away quickly. >> jimmy: are you working?

i heard you got to meet famous directors, who did you meet? >> well, i met one of my idols, i met him a couple of times. his name is morgan spurlock. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, the documentary maker. >> one of my favorite movies is "super size me." and his advice to me is basically, you don't need like a fancy camera or anything to make a good movie, all you need is a good story and a camera. and also i met another filmmaker called ron howard. >> jimmy: i have heard of him. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what did ron howard tell you? >> he gave me a ten-minute lecture about how to keep my head on straight. because he was a successful kid actor. >> jimmy: yeah, he was. he is the only one that didn't turn out crazy. >> i guess he didn't like to take drugs or anything. >> jimmy: yeah, he missed out on all the fun yeah. but look what happened. he came out -- he is the only

one that made it out. >> and he also told me to treat like filmmaking as a job, like you're not special or anything. and just to treat it as a job. >> jimmy: oh, well, he is a lot of fun! >> and he also told me like, don't die. >> jimmy: that is very good advice. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i mean, eventually, but are you going to do more movies? do you have something in mind right now? >> well, right now i'm working on a project for an adhd client. >> jimmy: you have a client? >> this is the production company called maxwell project, and the next documentary is going to be a film about the awkwardness of teenagers. because i'm going to go to like middle school and i'm going to start growing body hair. and i'm going to start to smell. and get glasses and braces. i'm going to look real good in middle school.

>> jimmy: you have a bleak future painted for yourself, don't you? >> well, i also thought this was an interesting topic. >> jimmy: it is. >> because there were not really any documentaries about this. i actually -- about kids going through puberty. >> jimmy: no, you're right, you're right that's correct is a great idea. i look forward to seeing that one, too. and you can watch it on line, the movie is called yuck! there you go, zachary maxwell. we'll be right back with john legend. the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by sony. too big. too small. too soft. too tasty.

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the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by sony. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: his new album "love in the future" just came out today - here with the song, "made to love," john legend. ♪ i was in here for you we were made to love we were made to love you was in for me too ♪ ♪ we were made to love

we were made to love ♪ ♪ ooh i've never seen anything it's much more than you and me ♪ ♪ extraordinary machine ooh i've never loved i've never loved ♪ ♪ never loved someone like this all i know is ♪ ♪ i was in here for you we were made to love we were made to love you was in for me too ♪ ♪ we were made to love we were made to love ♪ ♪ ahh ahh ah-ah-ahh ♪ put your hands together ♪ ♪ all made for love we were made to love ♪ ♪ i was in here for you we were made to love

we were made to love you was in for me too ♪ ♪ we were made to love we were made to love ♪ ♪ ooh have you ever known we laid your eyes on the perfect work of art ♪ ♪ i knew right from the start ooh i was never ♪ ♪ sure of a god before but i know he must exist he created this ♪ ♪ i was in here for you we were made to love we were made to love you was in for me too ♪ ♪ we were made to love we were made to love ♪ ♪ ahh put your hands together ♪

we were made to love ♪ ah-ah-ahh ♪ ♪ all made for love we were made to love i was in here for you we were made to love ♪ ♪ we were made to love you was in for me too we were made to love we were made to love ♪ ♪ i was in here for you you was in for me too i was in here for you ♪ ♪ oh you was in for me too oh ♪