>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- woody harrelson, ke$ha and music from ben rector with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the program -- thank you for watching. [ applause ]

very nice to have you here. you know, the government may be shut down but we are wide open. me in particular. it's hard to believe, i figured this would go on for four or five days. today was day 14 of the government shut down. i am starting to forget what it is like to have a government. there is a guy with big ears and a suit that talked about hope. that is all gone. just when you think that congress could not do anything less, they manage to. at this point the government is like a house on halloween that turns out the lights and leaves a bowl of candy on the front porch. the state of new york today decided to re-open the statue of liberty and pay for it themselves arizona is doing the same thing with the grand canyon. one national monument that

remains closed is the world war. sarah palin was at a big protest rally as was the guy who started the whole lockout, ted cruz, who demanded a answer to this question. >> why is the federal government spending money to erect barricades to keep veterans out of this memorial. >> let's see. i'm not sure but i think it's because of you, right? we learned it from watching you, okay? it takes a lot of kahones to lead a protest against yourself but that's what makes ted cruz ted cruz. it was a great baseball game last night. with the bases loaded in the bottom of the eighth, this happened. >> bases loaded. two outs. hard hitting to right. back at the wall.

for the game! big poppy the grand slam. >> the guy who went over the wall was tory hunter. he got no help from that very excited police officer. look at this picture. a lot of finishers. they are a construction worker, cowboy and indian. hunter almost made one of the greatest catches in the history of baseball. as a result, the tigers lost and the mood as the post game press conference was somber to say the least. >> did you hurt yourself going over the rail? >> i'm a little banged up but i'm okay. >> do you think this will be a big momentum shifter for the red sox? >> we're just looking forward to getting back home for games

three, four, and five. >> sox all the way. i got his shoe. i got his shoe. >> that's a terrible police officer. we kept that actor upside down for two hours while we shot that. they say it's good for the hair. on thursday, the bears beat the giants. usually the giants lose on sundays but they wanted to get it in early this weekend so they could enjoy the weekend. keep an eye on wgn reporter rich king who is in the background this year. >> keeping time of possession. not having any turnovers here. we had it, the defense checking out plays. you want to win all of your home

games. so, getting the win tonight. >> get that man a chap stick, will yaw? i don't know what he was doing there but mrs. king is a very lucky woman. this is fun. you know, if you drive around la, nothing makes me feel older than the billboards for las vegas. there are a lot of billboards for clubs in vegas in the past they would have performers like bill cosby or elton john but now they have d.j.s. i know they are famous but i have never heard of any of them. there is is a guy named hardwell. oh, no one knows these people? hardwell, calvin harris. they don't bother with the d.j. names. it's calvin harris. andy caldwell.

there is one guy named fiesco. >> not fiesta. >> it starts with an f and ends with an a. >> i don't know. >> nobody knows what's going on here. some of these d.j.s are talented. most of them, however, this is from -- >> yes. >> in rio verde mexico. this kid is djing a party. he is working hard there. he is pushing buttons. he is mixing things. he is fading up and down. dancing along with it. he is -- looks like he is teaching the other kids how to d.j. if you look closely at his mixing board itself, you will see that there is no power cord and nothing is plugged in at all. he invented a new form of

wirele wireless. whoever shot that zoomed in on the missing power cord? nicely done. thank you. in intergalactic monkey news, there is plans to launch yet another monkey into space. apparently in the middle of a long term study on how to freak out monkeys. in the -- what was obviously a replacement chimp to the press conference. it was not the same chimp that went into space. that's a rookie mistake. everyone knows you have to use twin monkeys just like the olson twins on "full house." if iran perfects this technology, it could be a problem. in wartime they could potentially drop a monkey on us.

ain't nobody got time for that. you know what i'm saying? here is something that one of my eagle eyed staffers caught. local cbs 2 ran a story on how to get the most out of your laptop battery. watch closely here for an unusual wifi network name that pops up. >> boosting your battery. >> this morning we have some tips on laptop longevity. >> old balls. i hacked into old balls. we're on. how do you not notice old balls? facebook continues to make strides in their war against privacy in the past, facebook users were able to set it so your profile could not be found. but now facebook has removed that option. now you can be found whether you like it or not.

even the nsa was i don't know if we like this. you cannot even opt out of facebook. they are going through their user base to make sure that all members have searchable profiles. they have a surprisingly primitive way of doing that. >> freeze! facebook police. what are you doing off facebook? >> i'm painting. >> how did you find me? >> we are facebook. >> i don't want everyone to see everything do online. >> this is facebook. we need to see everything. >> now like your uncle's post about obama. >> please, no. >> do it! >> okay. done. >> now friend request your exgirlfriend's new boyfriend. >> why would i do that?

>> because we want you to feel bad about yourself. >> selfie? >> can you guys tag me in that later? >> tag yourself. [ screaming ] >> they were very hard on him. we have to take a break. when we come back, we asked people out on hollywood boulevard to tell us the story of columbus day and they did. it is surprising to sigh the least. interesting new twists on the story. stay with us.

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>> director carrying an eggplant or something. i want to wish our viewers in canada a happy thanksgiving. this is the night on which canadians give thanks that justin bieber moved away from them. happy thanksgiving to you. also in case you're wondering why you didn't get mail today, columbus day. on the day we celebrate columbus traveling half way around the world, our mail carriers can't travel two blocks? his story is a strange one. everybody knows the basic story of columbus. in 1492 he sailed the ocean blue

but i had a hunch that most people's columbus related knowledge ends there. i sent a camera crew out to ask the pedestrians to tell the story of columbus and his journey to the new world and they did. hopefully this will clear everything up. >> tell us the story of columbus. >> columbus who? >> christopher columbus. >> he was the man who discovered the new country. >> he was the first one who landed in the ocean. >> he took a ship from spain, went down past south america, came up and discovered the east coast and the west coast. >> he came to america and he ate thanksgiving. he had thanksgiving.

must have been a ka noo. >> what did he do here? >> 1842. 1842, i believe? 1842. >> i any it was 1700. >> i just remember the nursery rime, columbus sailed the blue in 1442 already he sailed the blue in 1942. >> who did he meet when he got here? >> some indians. >> what did he saw say to them? >> how. >> he said how? >> yes. >> do you know what columbus's last name is? >> no. >> no. >> you don't know columbus's last name? >> no. >> no. >> it was something italian. he was an italian fellow. >> i think it was something spanish like juan. >> so tell me his full name. >> christopher wakin columbus.

>> where did he land in america? >> in florida? i think florida, yeah. miami. it had to be off the water. >> fiji. >> no, it was like hawaii. or argentina or in that area, i imagine. >> new york? >> close. >> baltimore. >> california. >> somewhere along the east coast, i know. >> georgia. >> maine? >> washington. >> rhode island. >> alabama. >> canada. >> north carolina. >> i give up. >> florida. florida, maybe. yeah. miami. >> columbucolumbus, ohio. that's why it's named after him. what was the first thing he said to the indians when he got here. >> what's up? they said we're having dinner and then they had dinner. >> where is columbus from?

>> somewhere from the spaniards. >> where was columbus from? >> england? >> england? >> england, yeah. >> italian? >> italy. >> he's from italy. >> wasn't he supposed to go somewhere else? >> japan? i don't know. was he trying to go to japan? he was? seriously? i didn't even know that. >> how did he get here? >> by plane. >> what was the name of his boat? >> jeez. >> well, they had spanish names i know that. >> the pinta, maria. >> nina. >> pinacolada. >> the nina, pinto. i want to say the santa maria.

i'm blanking out! >> ninja. >> not ninja. >> that's what my grandson is going to be for halloween. >> this is bad for me. i'm a history major! i don't know any of this! >> the pinta, the maria and the may flower. >> that's correct. >> see, i paid attention sometimes. >> it's time to get rid of it. tonight on the show, kesha is here. stick around.

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>> jimmy: tonight on the program -- her show on mtv is called "ke$ha: my crazy beautiful life." ke$ha is here. [ cheers and applause ] and then, his album is called "the walking in between." making his television debut, ben rector from the sony stage. you can see ben live in birmingham, alabama, on wednesday. tomorrow night, from the movie,

"bad grandpa," johnny knoxville will be here with the kid who plays his grandson. julianne hough will be with us. we'll have music from ariana grande. and later this week, kerry washington, danny mcbride, "science bob" pflugfelder will have experiments to share and music from sleigh bells and arctic monkeys. our first guest is a very fine actor whom you know from many great films and one great tv show. you can hear him now in the new animated feature, "free birds." it opens in theaters november 1st. please welcome woody harrelson. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] thank you for coming. i would ask how you are but we

spent most of the day together at my house yesterday so i know you're doing pretty good. >> i'm still doing well, thank you. >> everything is good? >> how you been. >> i do want to mention this and i hope this doesn't embarrass you. yesterday we were chatting and i said i will see you tomorrow. you were confused and i said you're on the show tomorrow. was that the first you had heard of that? >> no, no. i knew i was doing it sometime this week. i thought i had a play day today. this would be our play. >> we had a good time. i grilled some vegetables, which confused my neighbors. what happened to the meat? >> you're a fantastic chef. >> thank you. >> it was really delicious. >> did you like it? for real? >> i did. >> it was fun hanging out with you. and you brought your buddy, owen wilson. i apologize if i'm revealing too much information.

but you and owen are very competitive it seems. yes? >> that would be an understatement. >> i have heard tale of this but i have never really seen it in person. you opened a vegan beer garden. what's the name? >> sage. >> we started talking about october fest. and then my sister in law was talking about a competition she had been in this month where you have to hold a beerstein straight out like this for three minutes. it's an endurance thing and immediately owen is like let's do this. immediately you and owen are ready to compete. but i don't have any beer steins in the house. so they were soed ament that this happened that we went into the refrigerator and got two half gallons of orange juice. and it was a very interesting

psychological spar psychological experiment? what did you say? >> i was saying oh my god, this is easy. i could do this for two hours. literally. it's nothing to it. and owen is like yeah, i think i could make, you know, three minutes for sure. and because that was the time the guy gave us. as we were going on, he kept, you know, weakening and i could see he was weakening and i was just like man, this is so easy. and i got to tell you, i felt like my arm was ready to fall off. i was in such pain but i kept being relaxed about it knowing psychologically. >> i zeroed in on that right away. i said he's faking it. >> you said that. what did you say? >> i said you're full of -- >> something that you couldn't say here? >> yeah. >> he bought into it. >> yeah, he thought i was just

fine. >> and you conquered him. >> his arm was going down. i think a lot of it was psychological pressure. >> i think so, too. it was weird to watch. does that go on all the time? that seemed like a non-event that suddenly you guys were at it? >> it happens all the time. also we were looking around for dominos in your house. >> yeah, yeah. >> and you know, i'm just looking around pulling out drawers and stuff and molly is like what are you looking for? and i eem like dominos and she got this terrified look on her face. dominos? how bad is he? and she was like oh, i thought you were wanting domino's pizza because jimmy doesn't like that when you order pizza when he is making food. >> that would have been bad when i was out there cooking if domino's pizza pulled up. >> once she said that, i thought

that's a good one. we should have done that. >> i was thinking about it and there are certain people that you hear stories about but you might be the most referenced celebrity on this show by other guests. ted danson said one day on cheers they waited a couple of hours for you at rehearsal. turned out that you had flown out to berlin to watch the wall come down. you neglected to tell anyone that you had flown to berlin. >> yeah, that happened. that was not my besty westy. >> edward norton was on the show. he said you used to play chess with marlin brando? >> yeah. those were good times. but marlin did sometimes cheat a little bit. he would make a move and it was the wrong move and then i would take advantage of it and he would insist on getting the move

back. and i would argue for a bit. and i'm like i'm arguing with marlin brando. yeah, you can have the move back. >> did you play for money or fun. >> we played for fun. >> and who would win those? you would let him win? >> of course. >> another person said that you learned -- i can't believe we didn't talk about this yesterday. but you learned how to hypnotize people and you would hypnotize people in the streets and bars and that kind of thing? and you hypnotized him? >> yeah. we did hypnotize mark. i was with keith berry, who is the guy who was my mentor. and keith really, he can really do it. >> yeah. >> so i started hypnotizing mark and keith kind of took over. >> i see. >> there is like a moment where

the relaxation where the subconscious mind rises up and the conscious mind drops. i was failing at that moment. so he stepped in and he kept going. it was to convince him that everything was green. everything he saw was green. so he says when you come to and he brings him -- >> he is the hulk. >> and so he starts freaking out. change it back! you know? he is such a good actor, i realized later he was putting us on. >> he said he wasn't. you think he was? >> i feel pretty sure he was. i have never got on the the bottom of it. >> can you still do this? i know we can't do it -- i think it's illegal. >> you want to be hypnotized? >> if you could hypnotize me, i would go for it. you hypnotize me during the

commercials maybe. and when we come back, maybely be naked and everything will be green. woody ha woody harrelson is here. ♪ >> the jimmy kimmel live concert series is brought to you live by sony. but true to his word, he did indeed create a vodka that tasted like no other! grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it.

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>> entering time module. initiating launch sequence. tingling sensation in lower body. blood pressure rising rapidly. i can feel time warping! >> free bird opens november 1. i am -- i feel a little i feel like i'm under your power. >> you are. who is your favorite guest ever? >> woody harrelson. >> good. good. remember that. >> i can't imagine allowing you to -- a reasonable person allowing you to even attempt to

hypnotize them. what's the best possible scenario? you're naked on the freeway or something right? there is no good ending to that. not like you're going to hypnotize them and release them and everything is fine. you're going to do something terrible. >> honestly, i haven't had much success. i think i would do things like that, yeah. >> yeah, sure. >> the temptation is there. >> boy, i would love to do that sometime. we should get some people. >> let's get somebody a little more accomplished at it. >> okay. >> we could hypnotize all of these people right here. [ applause ] >> they are already entertained. >> this is an animated film for the whole family but it's essentially mostly for kids. do you have a different approach to doing those interviews? you have a camera in your face the whole time. >> unfortunately yesterday morning, actually i think the

premier was at noon. i went to bed at 6:30 or 7:00 a.m. having stayed up all night drinking tequila and playing pool with my brother, which didn't go well. it easterab's like a betrayal. i went to the thing. it's for kids. not pretty. but what was terrible was owen, you know, we're doing these interviews together and i told him ahead of time that you're going to be doing all the heavy lifting here. i can barely stand it. he said no problem, buddy, just leave it to me.

so with me in the middle,and luckily he would be fielding the questions and then they would ask him a question and he would talk for a while and he would go what do you think buddy? and i would be kind of like, i agree with you. >> that will be a fun game for people to play as they watch entertainment tonight and those shows throughout the week promoting this movie. please know when you see it that woody is totally hung over. woody harrelson, everybody. we will be right back with kesha. >> portions of jimmy kimmel live are brought to you by the 2014 ford fiesta. ] awww. [ camera shutters clicking, crowd groans ] no. closer. ♪

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>> jimmy: our next guest leaves a trail of glitter everywhere she goes. the last time she was here, we

were vacuuming for weeks. her tv show, "ke$ha: my crazy beautiful life" returns to mtv october 30th. please say hello to ke$ha. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> how you doing? >> i'm awesome. how are you? >> i'm good. have you ever been hypnotized? >> i have. >> when did this happen? >> i do it frequently. i go into my past life. >> you don't really. that's just your imagination. >> no, i really do. >> what past lives have you had? >> well, i have been a warrior princess. i have been a dude many times, which makes sense. >> okay. all right. just a regular dude? >> a really cool one. >> it's always that, isn't it? >> i have had a lot of different

weird past life regressions. i have issues so i try to go back and figure out why i have problems. >> have you figured anything out from this stuff? >> no. >> you haven't. >> but it's cool. i love it. >> maybe you should write yourself a note for your next life so you don't have to go through this whole thing again. >> that's a good idea. >> you had a hard time getting here tonight? >> i had the hardest time. like actually, though, i was in alaska and i got stuck in a storm and so i was trying to take this c plane and they wouldn't fly and i was like no i have to go and they were like no you're going to do and i was like okay, what do i do? i tried to take a boat but then we had to abort mission because then we almost died again. >> no wonder you have so many past lives. >> i have a video. i want to bring it so you can see actually. >> tell us what we're looking at. >> we went through hell and high

water. >> literally. wow. that's you? [ screaming ] >> is that your brother? abort the mission. >> why is he laughing? >> that's crazy. that is what i did to get here. >> i am glad you made it here alive. that's more than most people do. most people hit a speed bump and they turn around and go home. this reality show of yours, i watched the first episode of the new season today. you're in a haunted place? >> the ghost haunts my vagina? >> yes. it is a more common problem than people realize. >> you are laughing but it's very serious problem.

>> and then you have to call in a team? >> i know it sounds ridiculous. but in all honestly, i believe in all this crazy [ bleep ]. so i was told that i had dead people in me. >> who told you this? >> my therapist. >> okay. >> then she said she had to exor size my body. then i got a ghost meter to read and it beeps at my vagina. >> you wondered why it was half off on amazon. >> it seemed to be accurate. i was going through a dry spell. it all makes sense now. >> i'm glad you figured oit out. >> i was in alaska filming my crazy beautiful life.

>> you have more family members working on your show and tour than i do. i was really amazed at it. >> it's a total family affair. >> your mom was on it. >> yeah. >> do you really live in the house together? >> i live like a mile away from mm mom because she steals my clothes. i kind of make everybody come on tour with me. >> yeah. you will see my mom is on stage in the penis outfit. my cousin is in the other penis outfit. >> what does your little brother think when he sees his mom? he is not an adult now. >> he is fully traum tide. >> i remember my mom dressed as a christmas tree once and i was embarrassed. i can only imagine.

>> this is something you tweeted in alaska. >> i was bored. i was having cabin fever. >> a bear stole your pants. >> we got stuck in the storm. he saw me trying to get out of the storm. >> there is always a reasonable explanation. >> and these bears stole my pants. >> were they ghost bears or real bears? >> i have. >> where did you see the ghost? >> in my vagina. >> that should be the title of your next album. like a little tribute to the police. ghosts in my vagina. >> good idea. i did write a song. >> but it's a male shutty ghost? >> right. and like that movie?

there is a movie where that happened. the woman is in bed and the ghost comes. >> it's a real thing. i promise. >> all right. try to get that on the show. you can make that a future film. it's great to see you. congratulations on the show. kesha, everyone, my crazy beautiful life on mtv. we will be right back.

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♪ turn around ♪ every now and then i get a little bit hungry ♪ ♪ and there's nothing good for me around ♪ ♪ turn around ♪ every now and then i get a little bit tired ♪ ♪ of craving something that i can't have ♪ ♪ turn around, barbara ♪ forever i've been praying for a snack in my life ♪ ♪ and now i have a brownie ending all of my strife ♪ ♪ i finally found the right snack ♪ ♪ >> the jimmy kimmel live concert series is brought to you by sony. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank woody harrelson, ke$ha and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first, this is his album, "the walking in between." making his television debut with the song, "beautiful," ben rector. [ cheers and applause ]

♪ ♪ there are days when i wake up that i don't know what i'm doing here ♪ ♪ i barely recognize the pair of eyes staring back at me in the mirror ♪ ♪ there was a day that i was free not a care that i could see ♪ ♪ so good i barely could believe that it was happening oh take me back again ♪ ♪ i was 16 with an open heart windows down in a beat up car ♪ ♪ when i was dumb and the world was young

and she was beautiful ♪ ♪ she was beautiful she was beautiful ♪ ♪ how do we end up like this living lives that we don't care about ♪ ♪ too busy fixing things on computer screens while the grass grows green me i'm screaming out ♪ ♪ there was a day that i was free not a care that i could see ♪ ♪ so good i barely could believe

that it was happening oh take me back again ♪ ♪ i was 16 with an open heart windows down in a beat up car ♪ ♪ when i was dumb and the world was young and she was beautiful ♪ ♪ she was beautiful she was beautiful she was beautiful she was beautiful ♪ ♪ yeah yeah yeah ♪ ♪ there was a day that i was free not a care that i could see ♪ ♪ so good i barely could believe that it was happening oh take me back again ♪ ♪ i was 16