>> dickey: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, sarah silverman, illusionist david blaine, this week in unnecessary censorship, and music from charlie wilson. plus cleto and the cletones. and now, i kid you not here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi. i'm the host of the show.

[ cheers and applause ] you're very nice. wow. what a day. it was 92 degrees here today in los angeles. 92 degrees in the middle of november. and yesterday was 91 degrees. it was crazy. what's it going to be tomorrow? 93 degrees? [ laughter ] we have a fun line-up of guests for you tonight. sarah silverman is here on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause ] we'll be entertaining for you and awkward for us. [ laughter ] r&b legend the great uncle charlie wilson is here. [ cheers and applause ] and david blaine is here too. [ cheers and applause ] david has a special airing here on abc on tuesday night. it's really good. and he got some list of celebrities to be on it. woody allen is on it, will smith, jon stewart, robert de niro, kanye west. it's very well done.

david is going to do magic for us tonight. and i heard he taught you a trick, guillermo. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: now, when did he teach this to you? >> to put my finger inside my ear. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's really more hygiene than a trick. so that's the name of the trick, put your finger inside your ear? >> yeah. i'll show you. >> jimmy: okay. show me. all right. >> ow. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very well done. your son is going to love that trick. it will probably make him cry, but when he gets older he'll love it. >> yeah, he'll like it. >> jimmy: if you want to see some real magic, though, look no further than toronto mayor rob ford. [ laughter ] rob ford, he's provided me with so much entertainment this week i feel like i should pay him a

subscription fee like hbo. [ laughter ] as if the crack smoking wasn't enough, yesterday a police report came out. it was all manner of allegations including a prostitute, cocaine, sexual harassment. rob ford is like your drunk uncle that is fun but you're just getting old enough to realize why your parents never let him take you anywhere by himself. [ laughter ] ford addressed the new allegations at a toronto city council meeting today, and the best part is he did it in a football jersey. >> no one, but no one is going to accuse me of having escorts and doing lines of cocaine at a bar and former staffers saying i'm making sexual advances to my other staffers. i'm not going to put up with it. my wife is well aware of it, and i'm not going to put up with it. i have to take legal action, and that's exactly what i'm going to do. enough is enough, guys. enough is enough. >> jimmy: come on, guys. that was the weirdest halftime

locker room speech i think i've ever seen. [ cheers and applause ] fiery, though. he got the team going. the mayor is determined to get back to business as usual. even though almost every member of the city council wants him out. but he won't get out. and this gets crazier every day. here he is speaking to reporters in another spot. and i want to apologize in advance for some of the language the mayor is about to use. >> i can't put up with it anymore. so i've named the names. litigation will be starting shortly. i've had enough. that's why i warned you guys yesterday, be careful what you wrote. okay? so that's all i have to say for now. and the next thing i want to call mayor bretagne in hamilton and tell him we're going to have to spank the little -- and the last thing is elizabeth gondeck, it said i wanted to eat her [ bleep ]. i've never said that in my life to her. i would never do that. i'm happily married. i've got more than enough to eat at home. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: how did he get in there? he's the master. [ laughter ] amazing. he went from suing everyone to the football rivalry and then right into oral sex. [ laughter ] he apologized for that later in the day. he's been doing a lot of apologizing this week. as far as i can tell, i believe he's had enough of it. >> i've apologized. and i have tried to move forward. this has proven to be almost impossible. the revelations yesterday of cocaine, escorts, prostitution has pushed me over the line. and i used unforgivable language. and again, i apologize. >> jimmy: you know, he said revelations instead of accusations. [ laughter ] which i think that's what they call a freudian slip. can we see that tie again? because -- yeah.

just in case you don't know how serious i am, take a good hard look at this tie covered with footballs. [ laughter ] it's going to sound look a joke. but it isn't. you know who reached out to mayor ford today to offer assistance? charlie sheen. he did. for real. and there you go. problem solved. [ cheers and applause ] this is something. a dog named rupee has become the first dog to climb mount everest. his owner really threw the hell out of a frisbee, and up he went. [ laughter ] rupee and his owner, jo ann lepson hiked for ten days to make it to mt. everest base camp which is 17,000 feet above sea level. this is rupee on the hike. he looks like he's having a great time. [ laughter ] i'd be pretty mad if somebody told me we're going for a walk and then took me on a 17,000-foot climb through the snow. [ laughter ] i'd be nervous, too, because you know, if things go wrong on mt. everest you are the first one they're eating. there's no question about it. [ laughter ] some of the pictures the dog's owner took, you know, if you're going to go to the trouble of

bringing your dog to mt. everest try ton make your pictures look like bad photoshop. [ laughter ] does that look real to you? that dog could be anyplace. look. first dog on the moon. [ laughter ] amazing. first dog anchoring the local news. [ laughter ] first dog on the supreme court. [ laughter ] but apparently it did happen. so not only is rupee the first dog to climb mt. everest. he's also the first living being ever to lick himself at 17,000 feet. [ laughter ] speaking of dogs, in colorado some people in college are treating their pets' chronic pain with medical marijuana. can you imagine how much a dog with the munchies would eat? [ laughter ] veterinarians are not supportive of this. they say not enough study has been done. no study has been done. [ laughter ] how could anyone study that? but they're asking people to refrain from giving their pets marijuana. and if you're wondering if your dog might be a user, please refer to this video.

>> how to tell if your dog is high. sleep disorders. odd behavior. increased laziness. strange sexual desires. or unhealthy eating habits. could be a sign of marijuana use. don't let your dog be a snoop dogg. know what i'm saying? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i think we do, yeah. we all do. one more item before we break. it's thursday night. it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." [ cheers and applause ] >> i really [ bleep ] up.

and that's it. >> what a story. right? it's -- i only [ bleep ] [ bleep ] when i'm hammered. >> that's on me. we [ bleep ] the rollout on this health care. >> it's not the problem. that we should give a flying [ bleep ] about the website [ bleep ] up or -- >> we think it won't [ bleep ] worse than anybody else in the region. >> brooke mueller. get the [ bleep ] cops out of your [ bleep ] and listen to denise. >> i don't know what i have to do. >> the [ bleep ] in there. >> she lost more than 60 pounds in a year and chronicled her journey in her new book "the [ bleep ]." >> starring in full house with the olsen twins. look where we found him today. >> [ bleep ]. [ bleep ] you. >> [ bleep ]. >> i need to reach out and touch some hot [ bleep ] right now. >> if you were [ bleep ] would you do it more if you were being paid to do it? >> paid to [ bleep ] [ bleep ] [ bleep ] yes. right? >> rick, is that really you? >> of course it's me, you

[ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. but when we come back, i get a lot of people telling me that either they look like me or they know someone who looks like me. it's usually insulting. but sometimes not. and tonight we're going to meet some of those people who claim people tell them they look like me all the time. we picked two of them to compete in our skype savager hunt. so when we come back, there will be multiple jimmys, more than we've ever had on the show before. plus sarah silverman, david blaine, and music from charlie wilson too. [ cheers and applause ] [ man ] welcome to the camry thrill ride! [ tires screech ] [ woman ] oh, my god! oh, my god! [ laughter ] [ screaming ] [ laughter ] [ screaming ] whoo-hoo-hoo! [ engine revving ]

i had no idea we were capable of doing something like that. i'm shaking right now. [ male announcer ] for a limited time, get 0% apr financing for 60 months on a new 2014 camry se. there are plenty in stock. drive one home today. [ man ] toyota camry. let's go places. crafted with a touch of tequila, wine, and whiskey, by our highly skilled show-offs -- i mean chefs. are you really going to do this every time? new marsala mushroom sirloin and chicken & shrimp tequila tango. starting at $9.99. two new reasons to see you tomorrow.

♪ been pinning fun ideas along the way. ♪ ♪ thanksgiving photo booth, before the meal ♪ ♪ to capture all the joy we feel ♪ ♪ elf on a shelf, like it, pin it ♪ ♪ with my redcard, i'm in the game to win it. ♪ save big this season with price match, plus 5% off and free shipping with your debit or credit redcard. ♪ that's my kind of holiday. you've got to ask yourself, are you... ready to take life seriously? because serious it's not always easy but it comes with serious benefits. ♪ all hail to the drinking man. go back to sleep angus darling.

i love chalk and erasers. but change is coming. all my students have the brand new surface. it has the new windows and comes with office, has a real keyboard, so they can do real work. they can use bing smartsearch to find anything in the world... or last night's assignment. and the battery lasts and lasts, so after school they can skype, play games, and my favorite...do homework. change is looking pretty good after all. ♪

♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: welcome back. sarah silverman, david blaine, and musical guest charlie wilson are standing by. you know, at least once a week someone will either tweet me or come up to me and say hey, i look like you. and in some cases they do. but rarely. sometimes they're not even men, to be honest with you. [ laughter ] but here are a few of them. i'll let you decide who does and does not resemble me. >> somebody will come up and say either are you jimmy kimmel -- >> she came over to me and she's like did anybody ever tell you you look like jimmy kimmel? and i'm like yeah, i hear that. >> as he was coming up, he said you look like jimmy kimmel. i said yeah. >> i have one colleague that basically just tells me that every time i see her, that i look like jimmy kimmel. >> my stepdad calls me jimmy. my friends call me kimmel. that's my nickname. >> i don't think i look like jimmy kimmel but i hear it a lot. >> i went to go watch the show that night and i saw it and i was like oh, crap, i do look like jimmy kimmel. >> the lady at dunkin' donuts

where i get my coffee every morning started asking me, they're like do people tell you you look like jimmy kimmel? >> when i fluctuate weight, when i'm heavier i get jimmy kimmel. when i'm skinnier i get john stamos. >> she came up to me and said did anyone ever tell you you look like jimmy kimmel? oh, boy, here we go again. >> jimmy: maybe i'm part of some secret government cloning project i didn't know about. we thought it would be fun to play our skype scavenger hunt with a couple of these guys. first off please welcome my look-alike number one from san antonio, texas roger torres. hello, roger. [ cheers and applause ] how has looking like me affected your life, roger? >> oh, goodness. people at work respect me more now. >> jimmy: oh, they do? i wish i got that here. you ever get john gosselin, a little bit of gosselin? >> no. never. >> jimmy: all right. are you a married man, roger?

>> i am. i've been married for five years now just this past october. >> jimmy: any people you'd rather look like than me? >> no. i love looking like you. >> jimmy: all right. your opponent tonight is coming to us from his home in winnipeg. luke normore. luke, hello. [ applause ] you're from canada. have you ever smoked crack with rob ford? [ laughter ] >> no. maybe after the show, though. >> jimmy: wow. look at you. how are you not out on a date with a supermodel right now? [ laughter ] hey, do you guys think you look like each other? >> no. >> jimmy: no, interesting. so i'm like the link between you. roger, luke, shake virtual hands because it's time to play the skype scavenger hunt. [ applause ] we'll dow find an item or complete a task and your job is to bring it back or do it as quickly as you can. are you ready? your first challenge is to bring

back something you think i'd hate. okay? something you think i, the real jimmy kimmel, would hate. okay. and there they go. off in their homes. one is in a two-story, i understand. so he may be at a slight disadvantage here. all right. luke is first back. luke, tell us what you brought back. what will i hate? >> an elephant thong. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. you see, we are not identical in at least one area. [ laughter ] roger, what do you have that you think i'd hate? >> well, i brought it back because i hate it. but it's apple cider vinegar. >> jimmy: oh. you know what? i have to say i don't mind apple cider vinegar. so luke, you're going to win -- you win this first round. [ cheers and applause ] all right. round 2. of all the things in your house,

apple cider vinegar, huh? [ laughter ] all right. come back with all the meat in your refrigerator. most meat wins. ♪ all right. refrigeratoring very close by. bakos do not count, by the way. bacos are not meat. luke, hold it up. what have you got there? bacon. >> bacon, sausage, sausage, sandwich meat. >> jimmy: so then you're a health nut i guess, right? [ laughter ] roger, what do you have there? >> anything and everything. chicken. turkey. >> jimmy: oh. >> ground beef. >> jimmy: are those waffles you just dropped? >> oh, they're actually bananas. it's not meat. >> jimmy: all right. [ laughter ] we'll call that one a tie, i guess. all right. your final challenge. come back as a female version of me. the prettier me wins.

all right? [ laughter ] now where will they go? inner beauty also counts, by the way. we will accept inner beauty. oh, here's luke. oh, wow. what is that, like a friar tuck wig or something? [ laughter ] all right. what kind of women do you have up there in winnipeg? [ laughter ] and roger -- roger, what the hell are you wearing? [ laughter ] >> i couldn't even get it on. it's my wife's bathing suit. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. we're going to give that one to roger. you know what? i think we're going to call this one a tie, fellas. but you both deserve prizes just for looking like me. so dickey, tell them what they've won. >> dicky: you'll both receive a jimmy prize pack featuring jimmy dean pork sausages, jimmy hendrix and jimmy buffett cds. an action figure. autographed picture of jimmy smits, jimmy neutron on dvd and a letter from jimmy's actual mother telling you she loves you.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, luke, thank you, lornlg. appreciate it. tonight on the show david blaine is here. we have music from charlie wilson. we'll be right back with sarah silverman. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ trek, look at that sleek form. i'd introduce her to my mom! oh yeah, not only is she super bad, beats audio gives her rich, dynamic sound. whoo! mmmm oh here it comes! ooo eee uuu ... yeah!!!! did you see that? put it in the bag! that's what i'm talking about. a laptop and a tablet. i'm in love! the hp spectre x2. with beats audio. and an intel core processor. i can't wait to bluetooth with her!

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♪ >> jimmy: hi there.

welcome back. tonight on the program, his new special "david blaine: real or magic" airs tuesday at 9:30 here on abc. david blaine is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] he'll put on a magic show for us tonight. i don't know if it's magic or an illusion. whatever. but he's going to make my head disappear. then with music from the soundtrack to the "best marine holiday" charlie wilson from the sony stage. [ cheers and applause ] we have a full and fine line-up for you next week. tracy morgan will be here as will his fiancee barbara walters. elizabeth banks. idris elba, larry king, chris pratt, josh gad, chef renee budzepe and music from pusha t, daughtry, and fall out boy. our first guest is a very funny and emmy-winning person and there's absolutely nothing awkward about having her here tonight. her very first hbo comedy special "sarah silverman: we are miracles." >> i wanted to think of something smart to say or a question to ask and i was like,

senator obama, when you were a student in boston, did you ever encounter any racism? and i'll never forget what he said. he said -- he said, "i'm kanye west." >> jimmy: sarah silverman "we are miracles" debuts november 23rd on hbo. please say hello to sarah silverman. [ cheers and applause ] >> hi. >> jimmy: hi. how are you? good to see you. you know all the guys. >> i do. >> jimmy: guillermo's over there. >> they never left. only you're married. [ laughter ] i brought some -- >> jimmy: you heard about that,

huh? >> i think somebody texted me or something. >> jimmy: all right. good. i'm glad we can get that out of the way, though. is this my stuff? >> this is some stuff of yours that you left. >> jimmy: oh. >> when you left. [ laughter ] and i figured i'd return it. >> jimmy: okay. do we have to go through it? because -- >> first some socks. i can just give it to you. >> jimmy: these are not my -- okay. oh, these are my socks. >> yeah. this is a toothbrush. >> jimmy: okay. >> before you went electric. >> jimmy: oh, all right. [ laughter ] >> this is the plug from your palm treo. [ laughter ] remember when we had treos? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. used to play a lot of scrabble on those things. >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: thank you. >> these are some jeans of yours. i don't know if you want them. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i love those.

[ cheers and applause ] >> you could cinch them or something. >> jimmy: i'll get back in them. just give me some time. thank you. i'll take those. >> low self-esteem. [ laughter ] that's a joke. i loved you. i loved you your size. here's something fun. isn't that cool? >> jimmy: i don't -- this is not my -- >> this is an old one of yours. this is -- i made -- well, when we broke up, i made, you know, those team sarah, team jimmy t-shirts. and i just ended up with like boxes of these. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh. nobody wanted them? >> i think we could sell them at a profit to the fallon people. [ laughter ] but i'm saving one for my jimmy. like you used to wear that "oprah for president" t-shirt. >> jimmy: you remember that?

>> yeah. >> jimmy: things have really changed. >> i can actually give you the night off tonight. oh, this is fun. >> jimmy: oh, that's nice. >> i made this collage out of all the heads i cut out of our pictures together. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh. all right. >> remember that? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> i loved that one. >> jimmy: yeah, that was a good one. >> remember when we swam with dolphins? >> jimmy: yeah. >> now it's like i swam with dolphins. >> jimmy: you even cut the dolphin out of that. that's interesting. well, thank you very much. is that it? is that everything we've got in the box? well, thank you. that's great. it's great -- [ laughter ] >> mommy, am i going to meet daddy tonight? >> no. your daddy's dead. go backstage. [ cheers and applause ]

i told you. >> jimmy: who was this? >> he's unbelievable. it's me, me, me with this kid. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's your kid? >> did i give you that treo plug? >> jimmy: yeah, you did. you really -- is this uncomfortable for you right now? are you uncomfortable? >> you know, isn't this -- it's like weird but it's good weird. >> jimmy: yeah. >> this is human nature. this is the way life is. people break up. and exes are going to bump into each other. they're going to cross paths. they're going to be on each other's talk shows. you know? [ laughter ] it's the cycle of life. >> jimmy: very natural. >> look at you. i can't believe it. you look like a celebrity. >> i'm wearing makeup now. >> i know. you just -- your hair looks like hair. [ laughter ] and it's amazing. i'm just blown away. >> jimmy: that's really nice.

>> you've got your fancy friends and your fancy this and your celebrity vacations. and i just go, i'm so happy for this guy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's turn the focus on you for a moment. >> oh, finally. >> jimmy: i thought your special was great. i'll be honest. i didn't think you could do it without me. but you really did. [ laughter ] and it's a big deal -- >> i did it mostly without you. >> jimmy: it's a big deal to have -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm very quick. >> jimmy: for a comedian it's the biggest thing to have an hbo comedy special, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you made an interesting decision because most of the time comedians will -- that's when they'll buy like a leather outfit and they'll have -- you know, they'll be in dodger stadium or something like that. but you did it just in a very small room. >> i thought, wouldn't it be cool to have it be like really intimate and, you know, largo, the club i play in town that i love so much here in l.a.

they have a teeny tiny just like kind of wine barroom. and i said, i want to do it in a little room at largo. and flanigan let me do it. it only holds 50 people. and then we found out it literally only holds 50 people. so like including me and the camera people and stuff. so it was just a 39-person audience. so before we shot it i went out on the road and i did big shows. you know, like -- and i toured to practice my set. and like as the waves of laughter came over through the audience i was like, what have i done? >> jimmy: yeah, really. >> nobody's done this before because it's stupid. [ laughter ] but i did it. >> jimmy: i think it turned out really great. >> it's very lowify. >> jimmy: but i think people are going to love it. and it's very good to see you. please come back again. >> i will. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sarah silverman. "we are miracles" debuts november 23rd on hbo. we'll be right back with david blaine. [ cheers and applause ]

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: david blaine is still to come. but first i want to let you know that jamba juice is giving away a million smoothies or juices every day until those 1 million are gone. so now you can experience the joy of getting something for free even if you're not a big celebrity.

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: still to come charles wilson. when he's not encased in ice, dangling upside down above a major city, or holding his breath for a month, our next guest can be found performing remarkable feats of magic. his new special "david blaine: real or magic" airs tuesday night at 9:30 here on abc. please welcome the incredible david blaine! [ cheers and applause ] i think we should probably let the audience in on the fact that you and i also used to date. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: how are you doing in it's good to see you. >> good to see you. >> jimmy: by the way your special came out really, really great. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i wondered as i was watching it not just about the magic itself but how -- like how

do you get george w. bush to be a part of your television special? >> yeah, that wasn't easy. that was a lot of begging, crawling. he had a bunch of secret service guys that were around him. and i was in china doing a gig at the same time. and i knew that i wanted to do something that i shouldn't do to a president. [ laughter ] which you'll see on the show. >> jimmy: yeah. it's pretty great, yeah. >> so the only way to do that, i saw the secret service and i knew that they were going to have breakfast together. so what i did is i went to the breakfast and started manhandling all of them while doing magic. so started grabbing them and getting them used to the fact that i might be this bizarre magician that's used to, you know, grabbing people and doing things that i shouldn't. >> jimmy: yeah. which is what a lot of these secret service guys are doing, too. [ laughter ] >> so when i'm with president bush, you'll see me grabbing him and you can see the secret service guys in the back wondering like is he going to do

something fishy? and of course i did. but i got away with it. >> jimmy: yeah, you did. harrison ford i think maybe had the best reaction of -- >> yeah. he told me to get the [ bleep ] out of his house. [ laughter ] [ applause ] which i did. >> jimmy: harrison ford tells you to get out-u get out. there's no question about that. >> you know, let me try something with you. >> jimmy: okay, good. yeah. it will be great. yeah. >> just something simple. >> jimmy: okay. >> all right. >> jimmy: let me clear the area. >> you know the sharpie's permanent. so we'll use that. >> jimmy: okay. >> and do me a favor. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> you can see all the -- you know, the different cards in the deck. i don't know if you can see them. >> jimmy: looks like a regular deck. >> good. and out of all the cards just take -- touch one. take one out. >> jimmy: okay. >> whichever. that one? >> jimmy: yeah. >> okay. look at it. you want to let them see as well? >> jimmy: okay. >> you know i can see in the camera. >> jimmy: oh, you can?

[ laughter ] all right. i ruined the trick. >> do you know why you chose that? >> jimmy: because you force td on me? i don't know. >> no. when i gave you the sharpie and i showed it to you. >> jimmy: yeah. >> just look at the logo. >> jimmy: look at that. seven of spades. [ applause ] that's something else. >> but you know what? maybe i forced it. so do me a favor. turn the card over and put a big -- your signature across the whole card. big and bold. let everybody see it. big signature. big signature. >> jimmy: there it is. >> jimmy, to make sure i don't cheat, grab my wrist. >> jimmy: okay. >> perfect. and i take the card. you can all see. and it goes about center, give or take, as such. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> could you point to one of the girls in the audience? >> jimmy: right there. >> name a suit other than spades to eliminate. name a suit other than spades tomato. say it out loud. >> hearts.

>> you want hearts? okay. here's the idea. watch close. if i squeeze the deck, jimmy, see, i make the cards start to vanish. see how all the cards start to just disappear. see, everything disappears except for hearts because that's what she thought of. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's crazy. that is crazy. now, why do we have all these -- that's great. >> thanks for naming hearts. >> jimmy: why do you have the fuel here? you brought some kerosene and you brought some dangerous things. >> well, sarah brought some of your -- >> jimmy: yeah, she did. she brought stuff too. everybody brought stuff tonight. >> i personally would never keep that stuff. [ laughter ] so i asked your team to bring some lighter fluid. >> jimmy: yes. we've got lighter fluid. >> and a garbage can. >> jmy: we've got a garbage can. >> do me a favor. >> jimmy: yeah. >> can you put the clothing that you really don't want in that?

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. you know i'll regret this. [ applause ] >> do me another favor. >> jimmy: yeah. >> can you douse that with that lighter fluid? and that stupid shirt. >> jimmy: and the shirt? >> you don't want that shirt. >> jimmy: yeah. you're right. douse this all with lighter fluid? i don't know how to get this thing open. i need a magician. >> let me help. yeah, you can just -- >> jimmy: wouldn't that be funny if this trick ends here? all right. >> douse that thoroughly. >> jimmy: okay. seems like it's going to be bad news for my desk. i am dousing. i am dousing. would you like a beverage? [ laughter ] wow. you're really thirsty, huh?

[ laughter ] i've never seen a human drink that much water before. [ laughter ] all right. i think i really doused. i have to say. >> i might have a little more water while you do that. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. [ laughter ] >> that's good. yeah, yeah. that's perfect. >> jimmy: okay. all right. [ cheers and applause ] incredible. this is not a magic trick. this is cotton mouth. [ laughter ] >> when i get nervous, i like to drink water. >> jimmy: all right. >> can i ask you a question? >> jimmy: yeah. >> you also have a lighter. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] you want that? >> i think you also have a bottle of kerosene.

>> jimmy: i do. >> wait. let me ask you a question first. >> jimmy: yeah, go ahead. >> can you read the label? you're not supposed to drink that? >> jimmy: it says danger, harmful or fatal p swaif swallo. and let me smell it to -- yeah, it's kerosene. >> the real way to test if it's real is you put some in your mouth and you blow a fireball. >> jimmy: that's the real way to -- [ laughter ] because i don't think that is the real way to -- one of the ways, but -- >> yeah. fill these up. >> jimmy: would you like that on the rocks? >> that's good. [ laughter ] that's perfect. >> jimmy: all right. >> let's move this out. >> jimmy: okay. good idea. >> so the way i would test if this is actually what it seems to be is you do -- >> jimmy: that's just a bad idea, david. i'm going to move back.

okay. great. i'll hold this flammable cup of liquid. wow. [ cheers and applause ] >> can i have that? >> jimmy: yeah. >> so we all agree this is actually what it seems to be? >> jimmy: this seems like a terrible, terrible, terrible idea. oh, boy. oh, did you just drink that? [ laughter ] >> you can put it out now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't have anything to put it out. >> a fire extinguisher -- >> jimmy: do i have? no, i don't. >> i have an idea. >> jimmy: what are you going to do?

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: like a water fountain. david blaine, everyone. unbelievable. "real or magic" november 19th he here on abc. when we come back, music from charlie wilson. [ cheers and applause ] >> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by sony.

when ouwe goword. she said hert (little girl) no! saw her first day of school. (little girl) bye bye! made a best friend forever. the back seat of my subaru is where she grew what? (announcer) the subaru forester. (girl) what? (announcer) motor trend's two thousand fourteen sport utility of the year. love. it's what makes a subaru,

a subaru. to those who've been waiting welcome to covered california. the place to find quality, affordable coverage, and nobody can be denied because of a pre-existing condition. enroll today at coveredca.com. the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by sony. >> i'd like it thank sarah silverman, david blaine. i want to apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. "nightline" is next. but first the "best man holiday" soundtrack is out now. here with the song "i still have you," charlie wilson! ♪ ♪ babe ♪ come on, y'all ♪

♪ what good is a million dollars and a home without someone to share and give oh oh oh ♪ ♪ what good is a bed if you're sleeping all alone i'm so happy 'cause with you i'm never lonely ♪ ♪ even if it's not the wind in winter never see another white christmas ♪ ♪ we would go through it together baby you can count on that ♪ ♪ if i'm a star i started hiding and we couldn't make a wish again ♪ ♪ even if the sun stop shining i wouldn't care because i'd still have you baby ooh ooh ♪ ♪ and you have me too baby ooh

ooh i'd still have you baby ooh ooh and you have me too yeah ♪ ♪ i'll be here as long as i still have you ♪ ♪ what good is a fancy car with nowhere to go ♪ ♪ if you're just driving down an empty road yeah yeah ♪ ♪ one thing for sure is my arms was made to hold and these lips were made for you so baby kiss me ♪ ♪ even if it's not the wind in winter never see another white christmas ♪ ♪ we would go through it together baby you can count on that ♪ ♪ if i'm a star i started hiding and we couldn't make a wish again ♪ ♪ even if the sun stopped shining i wouldn't care because i'd still have you, baby ♪ ♪ ooh, ooh ♪ and you'd have me too, baby ♪ ooh, ooh ♪ i'd still have you

♪ baby ♪ and you have me too ♪ i'll be here as long as i still have you ♪ ♪ things may come and things may go ♪ ♪ but i still have you ♪ seasons change, i lose some friends, but i still have you ♪ ♪ when my world is upside down i still have you ♪ ♪ said i still have you ♪ and you got me too ♪ even if it's not the wind in winter never see another white christmas ♪ ♪ we would go through it together baby you can count on that ♪ ♪ if i'm a star i start hiding and we couldn't make a wish again ♪ ♪ even if the sun stop shining i wouldn't care because i'd still have you baby you ooh ooh ♪ ♪ and you have me too baby ooh ooh ooh ♪