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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  February 11, 2014 11:35pm-12:37am PST

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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- gary oldman. super bowl champions richard sherman and malcolm smith. "dumb starbucks'" nathan fielder. and music from crosses. with cleto and the cletones. and now -- here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> hi, everybody. thank you for watching, thank you for being with us tonight.
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welcome to my house. welcome to hollywood. they say hollywood is the entertainment capital of the world, and it really is. there's always something going on around here. in fact, this happened direct li across the street from us just this afternoon. you see that? that's a police car. >> this just in. a man arrested along hollywood boulevard as he was brazenly attempting to break into an lapd squat car. it happened within the last hour. officers spotted him and he was arrested at the scene. darth vader issing looi ingoing don't look at me. i'm on the dark side. this happened on a street literally jam packed with superheroes. superman is hello, superman. >> hello, jimmy. how are you? >> i'm doing quite good.
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>> you were a witness to what happened today? >> i was. >> what did you see? what was going on there? >> basically, a homeless man grabbed something from a construction site and started beating a police car. >> jimmy: where were you when this happened? >> i was on the same side of the street. >> jimmy: did you think to jump in and help? >> i thought about it, but then i thought the stick might be made of kryptonite. >> jimmy: did you think it was your duty? >> i did direct the police to the perpetrator. >> jimmy: the mur vies would be boring if superman just directed the police. we may need to take your cape away.
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you are out of the justice league. i'm sorry. well, there you go, thank you, superman. >> you're more than welcome. >> jimmy: the man of steel stood there and watched a man steal. and while we're smashing windshields here in southern california, they're scraping them in the south. north carolina and parts of south carolina are expected to get eight inches of snow which hardly ever happens. more than 1,500 flights have been canceled. georgia was unprepared for the storm they got hit with two weeks ago and they got a lot of criticism for it. so the georgia governor declared a state of emergency before the storm even started. he ordered everyone to stay indoors. no one is even allowed to put their shoes on in georgia right now. the last storm caught atlanta by surprise. thousands of drivers wound up abandoning their cars by the side of the road. this time officials are urging
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people to abandon their cars now while the weather is still good so you can get a cap home. it was 15 degrees cooler in atlanta where they had the summer olympics than it is in sochi where they had the winter olympics. it got up to 60 degrees today. it was so warm some of the people staying in the hotels thought the heat started working. but it turns out it was just the sun. you know, because of the warm weather, some of the ski jumpers were actually landing in puddles of water. they turned into water skiers mid flight. it really is amazing that this is happening. i mine, being cold is kind of the one thing russia had going for it. it's like the reason napoleon didn't instrad russvade russia. if russia is warm, i don't know, i guess it's just belgium. right? poor bob costas. he hosts the prime time portion of the olympic show for nbc. when the game started he had an infection in his eye.
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spread to his other eye. turned out to be a serious case of pink eye, which is a problem because vladimir putin now thinks his eyes are gay and wants them removed. but the infection got so bad matt lauer had to fill in for him tonight. and also there were signs all over the olympic village that says don't touch bob costas, which is embarrassing. this is the first time since 1988 that bob costas has not hosted the prime time olympic telecast, but the good news is, his hair is still perfect. at madison square garden in new york, the finals of the westminster kennel club dog show. this was the 138th westminster dog show, which proves that no matter how boring something is, you can still do it over and over again. 138 times. this year, the dogs competed in a variety of categories including talenting evening gown, leg humping and swimsuit.
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my favorite part is watching the owners prance around the obstacle course. i'm much more interested in the owners than i am the dogs. in fact, i asked my crack graphics team to remove the dogs from the following clips. and this to me is what the westminster dog show is all about. [ applause ] >> jimmy: we finally found something sadder than an imaginary friend. hey, we have a lot of fun guests for you tonight. the great gary oldman is here with us. we have music tonight from crosses. and from the super bowl champion seattle seahawks, most valuable player, malcolm smith. and most animated player, richard sherman are here. stillwringing the champagne out
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of his gred lodread locks. did you hear about the new store dumb starbucks. it looks just like a regular starbucks but it has the word dumb in front. it came a viral sensation and in the blink of an eye, just about every media outlet in the country was talking about it. >> a new coffee shop opened in l.a. it may be dumb enough to work. >> the mock store opened this weekend. >> thatting loos exactly like a starbucks. >> they copied just about everything. >> the logo. >> there's been headlines about this all weekend. >> it's gting a lot of publicity. >> they can buy a dumb venti. >> lines are snaking out the door. >> some people waited in line for up to an hour. >> why do they do this in the first place? >> the owners say they have a legal right.
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>> we're still trying to figure out who's behind this dumb starbucks along with the rest of the world. >> jimmy: well, good news we now know who's behind this. he revealed himself yesterday. his name is nathan fielder and he's here tonight. he'll be out here in a few minutes to tell us about his exciting new business venture and what the lawyers at starbucks think about it. before we get to nathan, i want to remind you that valentine's day is on friday. so don't forget to stop by cvs on the way home from work friday night. how does valentine's day work with gay couples. do both guys forget to buy flowers? you know, when we think of valentine's day, we think of roses and boxes of chocolates, cupid with the bow and arrow. but that's american valentine's day. they celebrate it differently in other parts of the world. tonight, gary oldman asked if he could share a uniquely british valentine's tradition. so please welcome gary oldman and the kimmel kids choir.
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>> hey, kiddies, happy valentine's day. i'm donny the dolphin and i've got marshmallows for everyone. >> yay! ♪ valentine's day in england ♪ we all go to the beach ♪ to see danny the dolphin ♪ and listen to his screech ♪ he's so much fun to play with ♪ ♪ he's such a lovely chap ♪ we even drop him marshmallows ♪ ♪ and sit upon his lap ♪ >> ♪ i'm donny the dolphin ♪ the valentine candy dolphin ♪ i have marshmallows ♪ chocolate chips up my blow hole ♪ ♪ donny the dolphin ♪ valentine candy dolphin
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♪ i have got marshmallows ♪ chok shocolate shoots autout hole ♪ happy valentine everybody! happy valentine! >> jimmy: that's how they celebrate in new england. thank you, gary. thank you, kids. all right. he's actually shooting -- i predicted we would have a problem with the chocolate fountain. sure enough, he did. we have a good show. gary oldman is here from the super bowl champion seattle seahawks, richard sherman and mall con smith with us. music from crosses. we'll be right back with nathan fielder. the mind behind dumb starbucks.
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>> jimmy: tonight on the program -- starting tomorrow you can see him in the remake of "robocop." gary oldman is here. then -- two men who are very good at playing football. from the super bowl champion seattle seahawks -- richard sherman and mvp malcolm smith are with us. and later, their self-titled album came out today. making their network television debut, "crosses" from the at&t stage. tomorrow night, nathan fillion will be here, as will abbie cornish and we'll have music from naughty boy featuring sam smith. and on thursday, kevin hart, alex pettyfer, we'll unveil the cover of the new sports illustrated swimsuit issue, and have music from sage the gemini.
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join us for those shows, too. i told you earlier about an new store that popped up in here los angeles this week called "dumb starbucks." no one knew who opened this store until yesterday, when a young man named nathan fielder released this video. >> hi. i'm nathan fielder, president and founder of dumb starbucks. a brand-new coffee experience located in los angeles, california. by adding the word dumb, we are legally allowed to use the coveted name and logo because we've fulfilled the minimum requirements to be considered a parody under u.s. law. we have a fulmen ewe, including all your favorite starbucks items. many of you probably know me as a comedian, but this is no bit or joke. this is a real business i plan to get rich from. but i need your support. our flagship store is located at 1802 hillhearst, california. come in and get a free coffee on me. just say nathan sent you. >> jimmy: all right. it's an intriguing idea, so i
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invited nathan tonight to discuss this. please welcome the host of "nathan for you" on comedy central and new coffee magnate nathan fielder. first of all, congratulations. you caused quite a commotion. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: why did you do this? >> can i put this -- i brought you a coffee from the store. it's been in my car all day. >> jimmy: should i have it? >> you're welcome to have some. >> jimmy: it's what everybody has been lining up for. >> all right. it's cold. >> well, i had to take it from the store so it's been in my car all day. >> jimmy: i'll drink it later. i'll pop that in the microwave. oh, there's the logo right there.
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>> dumb starbucks. >> i always wanted to open my own business. you mentioned i have a show. on my show, i usually help people out of the box marketing ideas to help grow their businesses. and this one was kind of so good that i wanted a piece of the action myself. >> jimmy: okay. and starbucks was or was not happy to receive the extra attenti attention? >> i mean, starbucks did say some things in the news and to media outlets that weren't so positive, you know, about this. and, you know, it's fine. i am operating 100% legally using parody law. but i don't appreciate it. and i should say that if they do continue down this road, they risk losing me as a customer. >> jimmy: those are strong words. >> i mean, i love starbucks. >> jimmy: so everyone was wondering, a lot of people thought i did this. and everybody was wondering what was going on, me included.
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this went big online. you decided -- why did the store close down? >> i had a press conference to talk to the media to say they were expanding and opening a second store in brooklyn. meanwhile, at that exact moment, the health department came and shut us down for selling coffee without a health permit. what they don't understand is that technically, legally speaking we're an art gallery and the coffee we're selling is considered the art. >> jimmy: i see. >> so art galleries don't need health permits. but also my not having the proper health permits and paying those fees we're able to pass on the savings to the customer. >> jimmy: how much would you charge for -- were the prices similar to that of starbucks?
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>> same price as starbucks, yeah. because we feel we have a brand that's just as solid. and our coffee is just as good. >> jimmy: so you really are opening a branch -- >> people were lining up for four hours. >> jimmy: i know that. one of our writers waited three hours in line for one of your dumb coffees. >> did he like it? >> jimmy: he said it was fine. but i don't know why he wasn't home working. >> we're also famous for our pastries. i brought you some, yeah. >> jimmy: those look great. >> i got muffins, too. >> jimmy: that's weird, it says vons on the side. >> we would just get whatever they had at vons that day. obviously people didn't care. the line was huge. >> jimmy: obviously. so we might as well -- and our coffees and our beans are usually whatever ralphs had on sale that day.
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>> jimmy: will you be doing this with other businesses? do you have, like, dumb dunkin'dunkin dunkin' donuts planned? >> yeah. i think this was so popular because a lot of americans lost hope that innovation in business was gone. and i think people saw, wow. there's a whole new way of doing things now. so i think it kind of allowed people to dream again in a way. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. well, that's ironic that something that keeps you up late at night would allow us to dream again. >> we have to deal with the health board right now. we met with them today. >> jimmy: oh. oh. >> i just found this out. the penalty is up to six months in jail. >> jimmy: so i'm trying to -- we're trying to be very nice to them. >> jimmy: i see, i see. i'm going to put in a word with the mayor. >> that would actually be helpful at this point. >> jimmy: i tell you something,
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if they put you in jail, i promise we'll all come to visit you. okay? nathan fielder, everybody. will you be opening another one in brooklyn? >> if we get through these health board issue, yeah. >> jimmy: okay. if nathan doesn't get deported back to canada. oh, thank you very much. great stuff. new episodes coming back this summer. we'll be right back with gary oldman.
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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ using night-vision goggles to keep an eye
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on my spicy buffalo wheat thins. who's gonna take your wheat thins? i don't know. an intruder, the dog, bigfoot. could you get the light? [ loud crash ] what is going on?! honey, i was close! it's a yeti! [ male announcer ] must! have! wheat thins!
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>> jimmy: oh, welcome back. richard sherman and malcolm smith from the seahawks. our first guest tonight is a fine actor, not just because he has an accent. you know him from many films, including "dracula", "the contender", the "harry potter" series and the last three batmen. next up is "robocop" which opens in theaters tomorrow. please say hello to gary oldman. [ applause ]
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>> jimmy: i also poi apologize. i thought your blow hole was going to have a -- >> right now i'm commando because some of the chocolate -- yeah. my underwear is in the dressing room. >> jimmy: that's a nice gift for valentine's day. honey, i dipped any underpants in chocolate. >> it looked like something else. >> jimmy: well, thank you for doing that and for always participating in our nonsense. we do appreciate it. >> i'm cheap. >> jimmy: are you a football fan? and i mean real football. american football. with a point on each end. >> i can't say i understand it. >> jimmy: you don't? >> i don't understand it, but i
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admire the art induste artistry. especially in slow motion. the linebacker with the ball and the receiver. >> jimmy: they're not really doing that in slow motion. that's us playing the tape back slower. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah. i know they don't do that in soccer as much. >> no. we move a little faster in soccer. >> jimmy: a little bit faster. yet it all seems slower. i don't know why. >> well, you should watch cricket. that's slow. >> jimmy: are you interested in cricket? is i have never watched a cricket match? >> i'm not a cricket guy. i was a football -- a soccer guy. >> jimmy: i see. you played when you were a kid. >> i did. i played for county 37. i thought it was what i was going to do. >> jimmy: why did you decide not to do that.
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>> two things. i grew a couple of inches. i was quite show and very fast. and then i grew a couple of inches and the balance wasn't the same and girls. >> jimmy: right, because soccer players don't get any girl, right? >> if i only knew that back then. yeah, i got distracted by girls. >> jimmy: how old are your sons? >> charlie is 15 today. >> jimmy: oh, okay nice. did they play soccer? i assume they were raised mostly here. >> born and bred here. they played a little flag football and some baseball, but they like soccer. >> jimmy: they like soccer the best. that must have made you happy. would you go and coach the teams? >> no. i was -- no.
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i was kicked out of a game. i was on the sideline and they were only 5 years old. the ref kept blowing the whistle. all these little infringements. you have to have both feet on the ground. if a kid raised his foot, he would have to take the -- throw again. or if the ball didn't travel completely over the head. i got -- come on, ref! come on, they're 5! >> jimmy: and you got thrown out? >> yeah, he went to the coach and said that father there, you have to get rid of him. so i was -- i had to leave the school and i got kicked off and then, like a year later, we
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replayed the team. and i came back and i [ bleep ] i had a cap and sun glasses on. i was doing this sort of, like that. and that leonardo dicaprio thing. >> jimmy: you showed up in disguise? >> i thought the guy might recognize me and -- >> jimmy: were your sons embarrassed? >> oh, they loved it. >> jimmy: they loved it? that's good. >> go on, dad! 123450i. >> jimmy: are they interested in your career? in your movies? >> i guess they look at the catalog and start to watch some of the ones that obviously they could watch the ones -- now my own films, i'm introducing them to the great movies of the '70s. >> jimmy: oh, really? that's fun. because, you know, they were set to see bullwinkle or "meet the fockers." you see that guy, robert de
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niro, he was at one time the greatest living actor. and that's not to -- you know, his performance in "silver lining" which i thought he should have won the oscar for. i mean, it's not saying -- he still does great work. they look at "bullwinkle" and they just see this guy and so, i got "taxi driver" for them. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> they look at you. you said this guy is the greatest actor. really dad? really? "raging bull." "taxi driver." >> jimmy: and what did they think? did they like it? >> now they've got the poster. and my son's got the ring tone. you talking to me? >> jimmy: oh, really? so "bullwinkle" has been purged? >> it's no more. >> jimmy: when we come back, we talk about "robocop." gary old map is here.
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we'll be right back. >> the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t. rethink possible.
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>> the human element will always be present. fear, instinct, bias, compassion, they will always interfere with the system. >> okay, i get it. i've got to give the american
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people something they can root for, something aspirational, right? they have to believe in this thing. pretty good, i don't know how to sell okay. i'm asking you, can you help me? just get him to do that. him to do that. >> it's a machine. >> i know, but it's a man inside the machine. >> no, that's the man inside the machine, right there. >> jimmy: that is gary oldman and michael keaton. oh, yeah, he was batman. he had batman and commissioner gordon right there together in one scene. >> yeah. the last commissioner and burton first batman. we had a brief moment. >> jimmy: the batman movies, the harry potter movies. maybe robocop will turn into a multifilm series. >> who know knows.
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i just finished "planet of the apes." >> jimmy: you're like king of the trilogies. >> i'm the franchise man. >> you really are. they come along and they really do multiply. i'm neck and neck -- no, i'm just ahead of mr. sam jackson who is also in the robocop movie. >> jimmy: you should haven't let him be in it. you'll never get ahead of him if you're in the same film together. >> no. now it's blan et, you see. i take the lead of the biggest grossing actor in cinema history. >> jimmy: oh, wow. that's pretty great. during the commercial break, you did a little bit of robert de niro. do a little bit of robert de niro for our audience here.
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>> you know. you know, jimmy, they asked me. they asked me to do the -- go over there and see fallon, you know? promote the movie. i said fallon? i don't think so. i don't think so. you know why? i said go [ bleep ] yourself. >> jimmy: gary oldman, everybody. "robocop" opens tomorrow. we'll be right back with richicd sherman and malcolm smith from the seahawks.
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>> our next guest tonight did what peyton manning who lucy used to do fto charlie brown. they're here to apologize tonight for making it such a boring game. from the super bowl champion seattle seahawks -- please welcome richard sherman and malcolm smith. [ applause ] >> jimmy: so is winning the super bowl as good as you imagined it would be? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: is it? live up to the hype? have you been celebrating all week? >> not as much, but we're definitely going to tonight. >> jimmy: what about after the game itself? what goes on that night? >> a lot of celebrating.
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some eneeb yainebriation, some call it. >> jimmy: does pete carroll partake? or is it just the players. >> he's the number one guy. the white haired party animal. >> jimmy: he's there with you guys all night long? >> you see a different side of your coach super bowl. live up to that celebration, though, at one point or the other. >> jimmy: you're the first defensive player in 11 years to win mvp of the game. we have a video here of that mome
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moment. >> all alone, no flags. touchdown seattle! >> jimmy: what about that failed dunk attempt at the end? >> there's a loong ng explanati about that. a couple weeks before, i tried to do the same thing. the same thing happened. the coaches said next time you have to flush it, i got to flush it. i got there, long drive, didn't have the opportunity to get the juice back. i think the super bowl goal post was a little bit higher. >> jimmy: you think so? is that right? it's a little bit higher for the super bowl? i had no idea. >> he definitely had something to live up to. they fined him last time for laying it up. we thought this time he's definitely going to try it again. he went off of two feet and he
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still didn't have a chance. >> jimmy: did you make fun of him for doing this afterwards? >> of course. of course. >> second time, it's tough. >> jimmy: at least he didn't get hung. he could have got hung and fell back. >> jimmy: richard, you wrote on your blog that you were disappointed you didn't shut the broncos out. is that true? >> that's 100% true. >> jimmy: the other thing you said is that you guys figured out peyton manning's hand signals? >> yeah. >> jimmy: at what point did you figure them out and how did you figure them out? >> and how come i didn't know? how come we didn't know. >> jimmy: and why didn't you tell malcolm? >> sometimes you've got to keep secrets. you don't want to overwhelm everybody. >> wow. >> jimmy: so who figured these out? >> it was a combination of people. you' got guys calling you from other team ps and telling you information that they know. >> jimmy: is that right? >> a lot of different things that go into scouting. >> jimmy: are these guys who are friends of yours? or just hate the other team. >> friends of teammates, friends of mine, friends of, you know,
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everybody who wants to help you win. >> jimmy: can you give me one name of somebody who helped you? >> no, no. that's how you lose your sources. >> jimmy: have you ever done that? have you called a player and said hey, watch out for this. >> no, but if they asked, i definitely would. >> jimmy: do you this sort of thing? >> you definitely communicate with other guys you know. >> jimmy: wow. i didn't know any of this. >> it's in the nfl rule book on the back pages of it, you know? they give it to us. help out your fellow nfl -- >> jimmy: wow. unless they're on the other team. but -- >> exactly. >> jimmy: i want to ask you about this thing. you leaped into our national consciousness with this interview. >> richard, let me ask you the final play. take me through it. >> i'm the best corner in the game! when you try me with a sorry receiver like crabtree, that's the result you're going to get! don't you ever talk about me! >> who was talking about you? >> crabtree. don't you open your mouth about
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the best! >> all right, before -- and joe, back over to you. >> and who was talking about you? who is this guy we were talking about? >> jimmy: i was wondering that, too. then, well, you made it clear. but i didn't think it was a big deal at all. i was really prized that people were -- i think in sports you get upset -- well, first of all, if your team lost to another team you're going to get upset. and then of course, your various opponents. but why do you think people were so upset by that? >> people kind of went soft on us. you know, i think back in the day, sports fans used to be entertained by sports and the gritty nature and the passion. and then they wanted people to be robots. i'm never a robot. >> jimmy: that's like the iron sheet calling out hulk hogan. it was great. i imagine you guys were going back and fort all game. >> exactly. and it's ball. it wasn't like i was in a political debate and cursed him out and threatened his life or
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anything. >> jimmy: you were fired up. have you spoken to crabtree since that? >> no. >> jimmy: no? >> no. >> jimmy: is there any chance you'll be calling him and giving him any tips on opposing players? >> no way. >> no. >> jimmy: if i paid for it, would you guys get a couples massage together? >> that's a great question. i would think about it. back is kind of tight. >> jimmy: congratulations. seems like you guys are having a lot of fun. looks like you didn't discuss the dres code, though, before -- >> ewith tried to coordinate.ll. >> jimmy: thank you for showing it to me. congratulations to you guys for bringing a championship to the city of seal. you needed one. richard sherman and malcolm smith, everybody. we'll be right back with music from crosses.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'd like to thank gary oldman, richard sherman, malcolm smith, nathan fielder, and apologize to matt damon, we
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ran out of time. nightline is next, but first this is their self-titled album. making their network tv debut with the song "the epilogue" -- "crosses." ♪ it's a strange day the roses are in bloom but in a strange way i know somehow we're doomed ♪ ♪ look around through the town not a soul to be found in silence not a sound there's no one around but you ♪ ♪ in the back of the car on our way from the bar in silence here we are reminding us we're doomed ♪ ♪ well i guess (guess that) that it's we come to the end we've circled around our doom ♪ ♪ and i won't stop (won't stop) not till i get what i want and all that i want is you ♪ ♪ in a strange place when the sun goes down we move into a strange phase like we've got nothing left to
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lose ♪ ♪ so we slip through the town with our heads in the clouds in silence not a sound for miles and miles around ♪ ♪ fall asleep in the park underneath all the stars in silence here we are reminded of how we're doomed ♪ ♪ well i guess (guess that) that it's we come to the end we've circled around our doom ♪ ♪ yeah and i won't stop (won't stop)
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not till i get what i want and all that i want is you ♪ ♪ it's you all that i want is you ♪ ♪ yeah you all that i want is you ♪ ♪ well i guess (guess that) that it's we come to the end we've circled around our doom ♪ ♪ yeah and i won't stop (won't stop) not till i get what i want and all that i want is you ♪
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♪ well i guess (guess that) that it's we come to the end we've circled around our doom ♪ ♪ yeah and i won't stop (won't stop) not till i get what i want and all that i want is you ♪ ♪ we come out to see the end ♪ ♪ my reasons see it all ♪ you're changing shape ♪
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tonight on "nightline," the shooter on the stand. >> i thought i was going to be killed. >> the man accused of murdering 17-year-old jordan davis after an argument over loud music tells his side of the story. >> and i said you're not going to kill me, you son of a [ bleep ] and i shot him. >> but if he was so scared why did he go back to his hotel room afterwards and order pizza? separated a at birth. two strangers living on the opposite ends of the planet meet on facebook and realize that they look exactly alike. their surprising emotional mission to find out if they're twins who happen to uncover a family secret via social media.

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