tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC February 18, 2014 11:35pm-12:38am PST
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that's very nice. thank you for watching. i think you picked a great night to be with us. making his first visit to our show tonight, a man with whom i will admit i'm fascinated, from fox news, bill o'reilly is here with us. fortunately you know what that means, guillermo, right? >> guillermo: it means i have to go back? >> jimmy: sorry, but i'm afraid it does. >> guillermo: adios, america. i had a lot of fun. >> jimmy: we had a lot of fun with you, too. i tell you something. i'm going to miss that little guy, i really am. what are you going to do? we have guests. we have to make them comfortable. bill is here to promote his own book "killing jesus." i'm going to have to tell him someone else sold a book on that subject and it sold quite well.
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o'reilly does a thing on his show as he speaks the text of what he's saying comes up on the screen next to him like this. >> now i'm being asked to pay for somebody's passion by supporting their health insurance. nancy pelosi might like to know at one time i painted houses. and it was hard, hot work in the summer. i did it because i needed money for college. >> jimmy: see, it makes sense because it makes it easier for deaf people to enjoy the show. but i have to say, i think it would be especially good for late night television because sometimes, you know, you're watching in bed and you can't turn the volume up because someone in the house is sleeping. so this way you could just read along. you know? you know what i'm saying? let's try it. all right, the subject, what subject? guillermo, what subject -- oh, guillermo is gone. that's not going to work then. >> guillermo: olympics.
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>> jimmy: all right, winter olympics. it's good to have you back, by the way. >> guillermo: i missed you, jimmy. >> jimmy: i missed you, too. olympics. put up a screen like the one bill has and i'll see if i can do this. the olympics. so let me get this great. ter perfectly healthy, perfectly able-bodied young people instead of going out and joining the work force spend all day every day spinning around on skates and skis. they're ice dancing and prancing in skin-tight leotards with their naughty little bulges poking out. the dope-smoking snowboarders with the hash pipes open the half pipe going willy nilly fakies in the shadows of the kremlin. and who pays for it? that's right, we do. while they're running around in sochi slipping and sliding and luging and spluging all over the american flag. hello? what do you think. do you like it? i like it a lot.
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are you watching the olympics? whenever i'm watching one of these weird events, i ask myself if this wasn't in the olympics, would i still be watching it? and the answer is always no. i was watching the luge the other way. the one-man luge, it makes sense because it's just a guy on a sled and whoever goes the fastest wins. but what doesn't make sense is the two-man luge. there's only room for one man on the luge. the ore gther guy has to lay on of him. it's the bunk bed but without the second bed. and what's the point? if you're going to go with two men. why not three or four? why not stack them up. there should be a one-man luge event and then there should be a let's see how many people we can pile on to this thing and make it all the way down event. imagine 15 guys. piled up. 16 guys. a quadruple whopper stacker
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precariously trying not to fall over the edge. i'm loving it, i tell you. they also wouldn't get made a as fun much. one commercial in particular slowed the footage down and added romantic music. one luger said if you slowed any sport down and added music it might look like there's same-sex action going on. which at first i doubted but now i think he has a point. ♪ sexy ♪ so sexy
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♪ oh, yeah. >> jimmy: there you go. [ applause ] the two-man luge sf no gayer than any other sport. although at the speeds they're going, one false move it can become very gay very quickly. i'm not going to pass judgment on this. all i'll say is it's an interesting video. a father in iowa was picking up his kids at school. it's been very cold. there was a patch of ice on the sidewalk, so think guy did what any responsible parent would do. he remained seated in his car and shot video of it for a while. and the kids came by one by one. even when they knew that it was
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there they would fall. and he just kept taping the thing. what's the opposite of a good samaritan? here we go. oh, my. >> are we bad people? >> jimmy: well, you're not kind of bad people. you're sick people is what you are. but i can relate to be honest with you. speaking of sick people, i think someone needs to talk to dr. oz. yesterday dr. oz was on one of his favorite subjects, bowel movement. and the problem is, dr. oz talks about this so much, i think he might be running out of ideas for ways to illustrate it. >> i'll be the body, you be the
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poop. that's our exit sign to get you out of here. push. >> go, go, go, go! >> jimmy: no idea. by the way, just on a serious note, if your poop comes out on a skateboard, seek medical attention immediately. while we're on the subject of health, i'm curious how many of you in our audience actually signed up for obama care. really? they claim that more than 3 million people have now signed up on healthcare.gov website. maybe they have, i don't know. more people are supposedly getting through to the website now. but they're having trouble getting to the -- the trick is to eat the mushroom before you go up the pipe. you know whatever you think about universal health care, the whole thing definitely hasn't been working as well as it should be. so now, and this might be a good solution. there's another government website you can go to that promises to help you navigate
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through it. >> for those of you who are still having difficulty signing up for health care, finally a clear and straightforward tool to help. introducing obamacare care. a simple four-step process to get the health care you need. first, fill out a simple 11-page form and press send. in 11 weeks you'll get an obamacare packet in the mail. fill it out and send it to an obamacare specialist. a trained specialist will give you a 64-digit of letters number and egyptian hieroglyphics. congratulations you have completed step one. now on to step two. give yourself a colonoscopy. obamacare care. making health care a cinch. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. when we come back, oh, i've got a special treat for you
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involving the show "game of thrones." and the exclusive world premier of the full trailer for the new marvel comics movie "guardians of the galaxy. plus bill o'reilly, kit harrington and music from phantogram, too. so stay close. [ man ] i was asked to put new speed stick gear to the test... ...a very extreme sweat test. i call it... whoo! ...canyon swing. ♪ new speed stick gear has drycore technology,
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>> jimmy: fill o'reilly and phantogram are backstage talking to each right right now. fans of the show "games of throne" are dying to know what's going on. we wanted to give our audience a chance to ask questions. so come on out, kit harrington. thank you for coming. now, kit, i have a million questions myself. we're going to get a chance to talk a little bit later. i thought it might be nice. we're looking for somebody who is a real big fan. right there. >> greetings, lord snow. may i call you the bastard? >> absolutely not, no. >> okay, fair, fair. >> jimmy: was that it? >> i didn't have the question.
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my friend hodor has the question. >> jimmy: oh, okay, all right. for those of you who don't watch the show, he's dressed like hodor the giant who only says his own name. do you have a question? >> oh, he's asking in season three, episode five when, like, the hot redhead steals your broad sword and you chaser into that underground cave with the hot springs and then you both get naked and you have sweaty cave sex. >> hodor. >> twice. do you remember that? >> yes, yeah. >> hodor. >> his question is, immediately afterwards, like you get up and you're like i have to go back outside. do you remember that? >> yep. >> hodor. >> whooy did you do that? because, like, outside it is freezing and there are ice zombies and inside the made from
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"downton abby" is not wearing pants. she wants it, man. it doesn't make sense. >> hodor. >> so jon took a vow of celibacy. >> hodor! >> no, no, celibacy sucks, man. trust us, b we know. not an answer, okay. answer the question! >> jimmy: i think that's enough. i think we should -- >> oh, no, i want to say something. you know nothing, jon snow. you know nothing! >> we were hoping to get some good questions from these people. kit harrington, everybody. did you hold the door for hodor? >> guillermo: yes, i did. >> jimmy: kit will be back to
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chat with us. we have music from phantogram and bill o'reilly is here, too. but before we get to all that, we have another special guest. and something exciting from comic book fans. i love comic book movies. i grew up with marvel comics and i never really matured. so tonight, we have an exclusive preview of a new one. and here to introduce it for us, the star of the "guardians of the galaxy, chris pratt. chris! how are you? chris, for those of who might not know, for those who read books, who are the guardians of the galaxy. >> the guardians of the galaxy are a group of misfits who are brought together to win a big baseball game. they use this trick play. wait, that's "bad news bears." ask me again. >> jimmy: guardians of the
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gala galaxy. >> the guardians of the galaxy are misfits who live in outer space and they're bad asses who go around shooting people being tough and bad in space. >> jimmy: the movie comes out august 1, correct? >> yeah, august 1. >> jimmy: and this is the world premier of the full length trailer for "guardians of the galaxy. enjoy. >> drop it now! >> hey, cool, man. no problem. no problem at all. >> who are you? >> star lord. >> who? >> star lord, man. legendary elock? forget it. >> we arrested these five on zandar. check out the rap sheets.
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the destroyer. sings his wife and family were killed she's been on his rampage across the galaxy in a search for venn gans. gamora, wanted on over a dozen counts of murder. >> rocket, wanted on over 50 charges of vehicular theft. >> what the hell. >> brute, he's been traveling as rocket's personal muscle. here's jason quill. he's also known as star lord. >> who calls him that? >> himself mostly. >> minor assault, public intoxication and fraud. >> oh, i'm sorry. i didn't know how this machine worked. hey, hey, hey, that's mine. ♪ >> hey! take those headphones off right now!
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>> jimmy: welcome back. tonight on the program starting friday you can see him in 3-d in the new movie "pompeii." from "game of thrones" jon snow himself, kit harrington is here. and then their new album just came out today. it's called "voices." phantogram from the at&t outdoor stage. tomorrow night academy award nominee matthew mcconaughey will be here. from the movie "nebraska" another academy award nominee, june squibb will join us and we'll have music from switchfoot. and on thursday yet another academy award nominee jonah hill, from duck dynasty willie and korie robertson and we'll have music from jetta. our first guest is an enormously successful broadcaster and one
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of very few human beings with his own zone. he's the host of "the o'reilly factor" on fox news, and co-author of this new best-seller "killing jesus." please welcome bill o'reilly. ♪ >> jimmy: i knew you were a big man but you're even bigger in person. >> but now i'm looking up to you. >> jimmy: we had to even it out here. how are you doing? you're in l.a. doing the show this week snf. >> yeah, "the factor" out here. we come out every year to cause trouble. jig things up a little bit. >> jimmy: see what's going on with the godless liberals? >> try to convert them but it never works. >> jimmy: what kind of reaction do you get from people out here in l.a.? are they happy to see you? >> no, not particularly.
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little children flee. it's that kind of thing. buses turn around. >> jimmy: i watched your interview with president obama on super bowl sunday. do you ask them? do they ask you? how does it work? >> in the super bowl it's totally different. the tradition is the president gives the interview to the network that has the game. so unfortunately i'm the guy at fox. >> jimmy: he must go oh, great, it's on fox this year. >> but we negotiate with the white house and say we hope you would do it. i actually put the arm on the president when i was doing the kennedy center awards in december. i was in the white house for the reception before that program. i said hey, you're going to do the interview with me, right? he had no idea what i was talking about. he said oh, yeah, sure. bang, we nailed it down. >> jimmy: a lot of people thought you were disrespectful to the president. and not just people on the left. it seemed like both sides didn't like what you did. >> number one, this is the first time i've been on kimmel's show. everybody thinks i each disrespectful when i get up in the morning.
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that's just given. but the -- some people on the far right apparently wanted me to pour water on him or give him a noogie or something. and the secret service would have executed me on the spot. >> jimmy: do you feel pressure in that regard? because a lot of people who watch your show would like you to tear the president to pieces. >> but then you have the other side that wants me to ask one question and the president can do 22 minutes. >> jimmy: and you have your own perspective. you want to do a good interview, ask the questions, get the answers you want to get. but you do have to think about those things, don't you? >> i never do. i never think about it. my job is to get information. that's my job. i'm an old time journalist. i'm going to ask him a certain am of questions. i only had ten minutes live. it was live. which is really tough. the interview i did this year with president obama is the toughest interview of my life. i've never done anything more difficult. you're up against the clock from day one. all right? from second one. and president obama can do 20 minutes on your socks. i mean, the guy is very eloquent
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and he can just take it where he wants to take it. but my job is to not have him do that, to answer a series of questions. so therefore i have to interrupt the most powerful man in the world. which i did. because i'm obnoxious, that's what i do. part of my charm. but you can't do it in a way that denigrates him, that makes him look bad. now, this is my third interview with barack obama. i think i know him pretty well. so i know where i can get in. and before the interrue, i say to him, you know it's me, okay? this isn't -- i'm going to ask you one question and you're going to fly with your spin. that's not going to happen. this is more of a conversation. and to his credit, he said okay. and he delivered. >> jimmy: you said that you like the president, and i believe that. i think he might even like you to -- >> no, he doesn't like me. don't ruin his reputation. he still has three more years. >> jimmy: you genuinely don't think -- >> i like barack obama as i liked george w. bush. i think they're both patriots,
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okay? now, you may not agree with their poll spips you may think they're not managing well. that's fine. everybody has an opinion. but as human beings, i think they're both trying to do what's best for their country. so i admire that, i respect that. >> jimmy: a lot of people who enjoy your work don't think he's trying to do what's best for the country. i watch you on the show tonight. and you really gave a talking to to one of the women on the show because she insinuated that the president has got some sort of evil agenda. >> i don't believe that. and i don't think it's fair to put any president, unless you have evidence beyond a reasonable doubt into a category that they're trying to subvert the nation. i just -- i think it's wrong and unfair. now, that being said, i'm the toughest guy on the block when it comes to holding them accountable for what they do. do you remember the obama interview during the super bowl i said why don't you fire kathleen sebelius.
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he didn't answer the question. i said to him, you re're not go to answer that, are you? and he gives me the obama smile. i have to move along. i can't pick up the water and throw it at him. as some of the right winners want me to do. i can't. there has to be a sense of balance there. it is a fascinating thing to go through. >> jimmy: i would imagine. as far as interviewing a president sitting in the white house, did -- i mean, do they frisk you? >> oh, yeah, you get frisk. they want you and take everything out of your pocket. >> jimmy: when i was in the white house i did not get frisked. >> but there was nobody there, right? you came in, there's nobody there. they let kimmel run around. >> jimmy: it's a strange thing. maybe you're the only one getting frisked. maybe there's something to investigate here. so now this book, i read the book, i thought it was really good. i enjoyed it. and i learned some things that i
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did not know about jesus. well, first oof all, kennedy was the first one. >> jimmy: no, kennedy, lincoln, jesu jesus. is there any possibility there's a serial killer at work here? >> no, there's a big time lapse. >> jimmy: jesus lived to 36. i always thought it was 33. >> jimm . >> they screwed up the calendar. the guy making the roman calendar screwed it pup .had to be some far left kook. they screwed it up and it actually started three years after he was born. we found it out, document it in the book. >> jimmy: jesus had an accent according to the book, which is something you would not learn from the bible. >> well, i mean, there was a working class way to speak and there was an aristocratic way to speak. and jesus was a working class guy. he was a stone mason, a carpent carpenter, he worked with his father jo joseph.
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they worked on public works projects. >> jimmy: so would he like -- i don't know if there's any way to quantify this, but would he be more of a sylvester stallone accent or like a larry the cable guy accent? >> jimmy: i wasn't there, i don't know. but he wasn't speaking the king's english. >> jimmy: or english at all. >> but he was capable of it. it's not a religious book. it's just history. so you don't have to be a religious person to want to know about the most famous man who's ever lived. how did this carpenter become so famous? how did he become a person who everyone on earth knows. and that's what we want to get to the bottom of. >> jimmy: it's written like a novel, but -- >> that's how we did it. >> jimmy: but it's factual information. and i do want to ask you a question. do you think jesus would watch fox news. when we come back o'reilly. we'll be right back.
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and as i told you, i learned a lot of things about jesus that i didn't know. >> you're a former altar boy, right? >> jimmy: for seven years. >> there was a lot of stuff i didn't know until we researched it. >> jimmy: you didn't make anything up, right? this is all real stuff. >> all real stuff. martin is the best researcher on earth. he co-wrote the book. >> jimmy: jesus for instance did not have a beard. he had a little goatee. >> and a tattoo and a earring. >> jimmy: oh, wait. i made that up. in the book, jesus is portrayed as this person. this is how we know him. he question eed authority, real in particular challenged the religious -- >> and the romans. >> jimmy: wealthy, while everyone else was living in poverty. the meek shall inherit the
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earth. now, if you met a guy like this, nowadays, if he happened upon your television show, would you be -- don't you feel like you would be the first to say this guy is a nut, he's a hippy, he's a weirdo, get him the hell out of here. >> then he would turn me to stone. he gave hope to the hopeless. back then, the romans ruled the world. and if you got out of line, they put you on a cross. and it was brutal. and we go into that in great detail. the people were taxed up to here and they didn't have any money to begin with. so the jewish authorities in the temple, not the jewish people. they were firmly behind jesus. they loved him. he brought hope and he challenged authority, and he did it in a way that was flamboyant. he brought a whip into the temple and hit these guys who were changing the money in a spiritual place. so he was a real human being who did extraordinary things. only two years. that's all he was around before
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they snuffed him out. they couldn't let him live. he was gaining too much power. and they really, they give it to him in the end in one of the worst execution forms possible. ha harrowing. >> jimmy: and you looked into the realities of crucifixion. >> they had it down to a science. and the nazis 2,000 years later, they based their terror on what the romans did. they copies the romans. and how the romans brought terror into the people's minds. they left these guys on the cross. they didn't take them down. jesus was an exception because they didn't want an insurrection. but you stayed there until you decayed as a warning to anybody else. you get out of line, this is going to happen to you. >> jimmy: speaking of warning, i want to issue a warning to you right now. there's a photograph that i happened upon. this is you and my friend adam corolla at a lakers game.
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are you moving in on my guy? >> no. put the.ic chur ipicture up ag. i'm saying don't come any closer. >> jimmy: who is this jar chair reserved for? jesus? >> i paid $3,000 for that chair so he wouldn't sit next to me. he's on "the factor" on thursday to critique my appearance. >> jimmy: the fact that he got a plug is going to help you, i think. will you listen to his critique at all? >> no, no. i'll ignore him totally. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. bill o'reilly. this is the book. it's called "killing jesus." it's available.
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>> jimmy: our next guest is a fine young actor who has somehow managed to stay alive for three full seasons of "game of thrones." starting friday, he squares off with a volcano in the new 3d adventure movie please welcome kit harington. ♪ >> jimmy: i think you're the first kit i've ever met. here in america we have kit carson and the car that david hasselhoff drove in knight rider. >> that's who i was named after. ? >> is that right? >> i wish i was. that would be a lot cooler. >> jimmy: no, it wouldn't. who are you named after?
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>> a play write named christopher marleau. kit marleau. she just liked the name. short and sweet. >> jimmy: you have some family history. i think you know what i'm getting at. but sometimes people come and they have something in their family tree that's unusual or amusing. but you might have the greatest thing ever in your family tree. >> is it? >> jimmy: to me it is. i'll tell you something, my family is very, very grateful to your great grandfather on a daily basis. >> i'm grateful every day. >> jimmy: tell him what he did. >> his name was john harrington. he lived in the 1600s and he invented the toilet. [ applause ] >> jimmy: he invented the toilet. thus why it's called the john. >> jimmy: because of your great, great -- >> i believe so, yeah. >> jimmy: i always heard thomas
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ice and the cold and the rain surrounded by bearded ugly men. so i kind of -- it's a double-edged sword, excuse the pun. >> jimmy: where do you shoot your parts of the show? >> i shoot in iceland. so that's where all the big snowy scenes are. we have to go there. it's beautiful scenery. an incredible country. the people are [ bleep ] nuts. >> jimmy: really? >> that's why i love them. they come across as calm taen ska and scandinavian. then you get them a little bit drunk, well, they get you drunk and you see the real side. they're crazy. >> jimmy: in what way are they crazy? >> they're kind of -- they have mental cuisine for a start. they like to play -- i swear it's a joke that they play on tourists. >> jimmy: tell me what it is. in case i go there. >> i'm give age way the joing a
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here. they have a delicacy that -- it's shark. and they bury it. they catch the shark and bury it under ground. they let it rot. but before they let it rot they all stand around and urinate on it. and then they leave it there for about three months. then they dig it up and they serve it to wandering film crews and the like. and as you're eating it, they tell you what's happened to this shark. and they're laughing. and they're not eating it. >> jimmy: that should be the sign, they're not eating it, maybe you shouldn't eat it. >> do you know what it tastes like? pissed on shark. >> jimmy: that part isn't even as bad as letting it rot underground for three months. >> i don't know which way around i would like it. >> jimmy: one of the great, or maybe not so great things about "game of thrones" is you never know when a character might die. they will even depart from the
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series of books and kill somebody that wasn't expected to be killed. does that leave you in a constant state of anxiety? >> kind of, yeah. we all flip through the scripts when they get them. but the writers will write fake scenes to kill someone off. and then the actor will be out of a job and scared and they'll say -- but people caught on to this. they were writing fake death scenes. but now no one knows whether they actually die or not. so you read it and go is this a joke or do i actually die? >> jimmy: that's got to be a terrible meeting. who do you meet with and who actually tells you if you're going to go? >> david and dan, the writers. >> jimmy: okay. and you have completed the fourth season of the show. >> yeah, we've just finished the fourth season. >> jimmy: and jon snow survives the fourth season? >> i can't tell you. i can't tell you. i wish i could. i could be out of a job right now. >> jimmy: if you were out of a
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job you would already be out a job so i guess it wouldn't make a difference. this movie "pompeii" you're in. did you shoot nit italy? >> no. when i got the role i said oh, great, we're going to pompeii then? they said no, we're shooting in toronto. [ applause ] >> jimmy: we have a lot of canadians here tonight. and very few italians. now there are even people who aren't canadian applauding along with the canadians. for some unknown reason. so toronto, does toronto look like pompeii? >> it was all in big studios. >> jimmy: i see. so an indoor volcano. >> very much an indoor volcano. but we kind of did it that way and it worked very well and they built huge big sets. >> jimmy: i don't want to ruin the movie, but we know how pompeii ended. but does it erupt on you?
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>> kind of yes, it does. it goes off at some point in the film, i think you can pretty much guarantee that. and then it's all about the stories of the people we follow about whether they escape, how they escape, do they die, do they not. and it's fascinating. it's an amazing cgi and 3d effect in it. it's very -- there's no better thing in 3d than a volcano blowing in your face. >> jimmy: i'm with you on that one, for sure. kit harrington, everybody. opening in theatres on friday in 3d. we'll be right back with phantogram. >> announcer: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t. rethink possible.
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hey! have you ever tried honey nut cheerios? love 'em. neat! now you on the other hand... you need some help. why? look atchya. what is that? you mean my honey wand? [ shouting ] [ splat ] come on. matter of fact. [ rustling ] shirt. shoes. shades. ah! wow! now that voice... my voice? [ auto-tuned ] what's wrong with my voice? yeah man, bee got swag!
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need i let you bleed cause you were falling i'm sorry ♪ ♪ baby fall in need i let you bleed cause you were falling i'm sorry baby fall in need ♪ ♪ hide the sun i will leave your face out of my mind you should save your eyes a thousand voices howling in ♪ ♪ my head speak in tongues i don't even recognize your face mirror on the wall tell me all the ways to ♪
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thank you. >> tonight on "nightline," jurors speak. >> i believe he was guilty. >> for the first time, we learned why a florida jury couldn't reach a verdict on a murder charge against michael dunn who fired ten shots after a fight over loud music. what happened behind closed doors in this racially charged trial. >> people were yelling. >> oh, yes, sir. >> profanity? >> oh, yes, sir. >> it's an abc news exclusive. >> and the ultimate story of excess. drugs, sex, money. >> i've been a rich man and i've been a poor man and i choose rich every time. >> and it's up for five academy awards. director martin scorsese takes
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