>> the next newscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30. you will want to check in to >> from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight. joel mchale. from "divergent", ansel elgort. and music from benmont tench. with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: we've also got >> hi, everybody. thanks for watching.

thank you for coming to visit. tonight, the oscars and the bachelor and all the important stuff. but i have some personal news to share. guess who got his wife pregnant? that's right. i got a phone call from mau maury povich this morning. i am the father. and i did it the old fashioned way, with my body. i wasn't going to mention it. we were trying to keep it quiet, but i'm starting to show. i'm 46. my son is 20 my daughter is 22. a lot of people have been asking me why do it all over again. i'll tell you why. we are in a very competitive late night environment right now. and abc thought it would be gootd to add a baby to the show. even though we have the new baby coming, we still love you very,

very much. >> i love you, too, jimmy. >> jimmy: i felt like i was getting too much sleep. we're doing this rainbow loom project. i asked kids to loom something for me and send them to the show to have them fashioned into a loom suit, a whole suit made of these things. i honestly didn't think we would get much. i got thousands and thousands of bracelets and necklaces and ties and belts. little purses. which i'm not sure what i was supposed to do with. ed hands, all kinds of stuff.

a world name from ally sent me 100 bracelets. she made all of them by herself. in farming ton, michigan, our lady of sorrow's catholic school got the whole skood involve-- s involved. more than 750 kids participated in this. teachers, too. they put on presentations. we've been putting all this stuff together. they made a big, long rope. >> here, jimmy kimmel. these are for you! >> jimmy: it's dr. kimmel, by the way, i prefer to be called. tomorrow is loomsday. our poor wardrobe department, they've literally been working day and night on this. there they are. they're almost done. but it has been a nightmare. all these people doing manual labor for my -- i've never felt more like kim jong-un than i do

this week. and then tomorrow night, it will be worth it. because i will debut my new suit of the loom. i will be dresed in rubber bands from head to toe. i might even jump off the roof to see if i bounce tomorrow. so tune in for that. at the white house today, president obama and house speaker john boehner had a private meeting in the oval office. sometimes they like to watch "dance moms" together. obama invited boehner to chat about a number of issues. this is the washington version of getting an invitation to the fantasy suite. they met for about an hour. it turns out the last five years have been a big misunderstanding. they actually agree on everything. i'm glad they cleared that up. they talked about manufacturing, immigration, health care, afghanistan, the drought in california, and an aide to speaker boehner said they met because they believe it's important to work together on issues where they find common ground. unfortunately, there were no issues on which they found

common ground. meeting adjourned. those two just need to do it already and get it over with the. speaking of doing it, we had the second episode of "the bachelor." juan pablo took all the remaining of his con cue bicubi his fantasy suite. there was no elimination ceremony because andi left after she and juan pablo had a fight. so the remaining two women are now nicky and claire. at the beginning of the season, i picked nicky to, i don't know if win is the right word to use. but to remain. and now nicky is in the final two. what can i say? i know my juan pab. but this was a funny moment tonight. >> i've definitely fallen in love with juan pablo. that's why i'm still here. juan pablo, since the day he

blindfolded me in the car and told me to trust him. >> jimmy: that's not love, claire. that's abduction. you know, over the many, many seasons of "the bachelor" we've had the pleasure of watching closely for this show. we noticed an interesting thing. they use theamazing a lot. a lot. but this season, a new word emerged that could possibly knock amazing from its perch. the word is honest. let's see how much honesty they gave me tonight. >> i totally appreciate you being honest with me. >> honest. >> honest. >> i just want you to be honest with me. >> i'm being honest. >> there's a difference of being honest. >> you have to be honest. >> honestest. >> honesty. >> i'm all for honest to i. >> based off of honest to i. >> honestly. >> honestly. >> i'm being honest. i'm being honest. >> okay.

>> jimmy: 27 times. in one show. 27 times. they say when someone says honestly at the beginning of a sentence, it means they're probably lying. now we have proof. this is an interesting find. women spend an average of 335 hours a year getting ready according to some very passive aggressive researchers who are outside waiting in the car. the study was conducted by every standup comedian from 198 5. it found on average women spend 55 minutes a day getting red did. has anyone considered the possibility the reason it takes so long is because they're trying to get as much time away from us and their kids as they possibly can? you know, i always say when in doubt, look within. the 86th annual academy awards are taking place at the doll by theatre right across from us. the academy awards are the magical night when the big e and

brightest stars gather together to pretend they've seen "philomena." where's yaya. where is he? oh, hi, yaya. his passion in life is -- >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: his passion is getting pictures with celebrities. he doesn't do it for money. he's not a paparazzi. he's just a guy who likes to stand outside restaurants waiting for famous people to come out to take pictures with them. how many celebrities would you say you' within photographed with over the years? >> almost 8,000 something now. >> jimmy: that's a lot. since yaya is such an expert of hollywood. we thought we would have him review some of the best picture nominees. what movie are you going to review? >> "captain phillips." . i don't know. "captain phillips." and also the one, i don't know, sleeve. >> jimmy: i believe the movie

he's looking for is "philomena." >> action. hi, it's me yaya. i'm talking about that show or a movie? i don't know. that movie. that movie is i don't know, i know the lady. she's the one who play assistant for 007. sean connery, roger moore, she's the one assistant tell them all, why are you born? why are you born? she kol james bond. this lady play the movie, the nun. and i don't know, her son, her husband. and watching the movie right now, good movie. philadelphia. enjoy the movie. had you yehua. did you see that movie? >> no. >> jimmy: oh, you didn't. we need to take a break. when we come back, my cousin sal

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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. yehaua, you're still here. did you want to review another movie? >> yeah.

>> jimmy: what are you going to review for us? >> slave? i don't know remember which one. >> jimmy: here is yehua talking about the movie "captain phillips." >> hi. i'm yehua. i'm talking about tom hanks movie "captain phillips." i got picture with him. tom hanks has been in a lot of movie. long time. he shave his hair and his mom, the lady, what her name? i forget her name. sally phyllis. her mom in the movie. and what movie, too? he's in the boat and the boat break and he go to the island and he try to eat coconut. the one that's called "lost." you know when he have big beard.

in this "captain phillips." real story and go and the people they want to steal the boat. and no lady with him. all man in the boat. you have the people from somalia running the boat. they tell him i'm the captain now, tom hanks. it is a story i know it because my friend saw it and he tell me the story. i don't see it with my eyes. so then one guy, he claim the boat. and the guy is going down, like, maybe ten feet from the water. the shark just ump and eat him from the water. watch that movie captain flips. i don't see the movie but everybody watch the movie. it's good movie. and i watch it soon. okay? what else?

>> jimmy: thank you, yeyha. >> i saw it after. >> jimmy: do you agree with your review? soo. >> yeah, i love it. >> jimmy: when the olympics are on 24 hours a day, you don't really care. but now that they're gone, i feel like i have nothing to watch. i have a winter olympics sized hole in my heart. i know my staff feels the same way because it was a good way to not work all day. i september my cousin sal and a cooler full of ice around the office to bring our co-workers some much needed winter olympic cheer. >> let's see who's ready for ice dancing. >> no no, no, no. do you like ice dancing? >> i knew he liked ice dancing. winters are back. it's cold, right?

welcome to sochi. >> okay. >> you miss the olympics. >> [ bleep ]. >> come on, man. >> i'm sorry. >> you're not sorry. that's twice. >> i'm a little bit sorry. >> you' never been sorry. >> he's right. i'm not sorry. >> do you like ice dancing? you love ice dancing. >> it's everywhere now. no, it's not there. oh, yeah, it is there. >> you guys miss the olympics? ♪ ice dancing. sochi.

want some ice with that lunch. ice, ice cousin. remember that bit, the whole thing with the ice? >> jimmy: thank you. >> he gets it. >> misthe olympics? welcome to sochi. did you miss the olympics? >> it what are you doing? >> you're crazy. she's nuts. >> jimmy: it's not wrestling. all right, well, we have fun.

tonight on the show, from the movie "divergent, ansel elgort is here. we'll be right back with joel mchale. aflac! got 'em. ♪ yeah, he's clean, boss. now listen to me, duck. i have an associate that met with, uh, an unfortunate accident. while he's been incapacitated, somebody's been paying him cash. now, is this your doing? aflac? now, if i met with some such accident, would aflac pay me? ♪ nice. this is your stop.

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>> jimmy: tonight on the show from the movie "divergent," ansel elgort is here. and then he's one of the founding members of tom petty and the heartbreakers, benmont tench is here.

tomorrow night, oscar host ellen degeneres will be here, designer and director tom ford will be with us, we'll have music from sky ferreira and i will debut my brand new loom suit. on thursday night we'll be joined by kerry washington, michael strahan, and have music from juicy j featuring wiz khalifa. and on sunday, the ninth annual "jimmy kimmel live" after the oscars special. our guest will be the great kevin spacey, and we've enlisted the help of more a-list actors than i have the energy to name for some new videos that are as epic as they are ridiculous. watch that at 10pm on the west coast and after the oscars and your late local news everywhere else here on abc. >> jimmy: our first guest is a very funny man who delights his people as both himself on "the soup" and as someone who looks just like him on "community," which airs thursday nights on nbc, please welcome joel mchale. [ applause ]

>> you know, you're going to have a baby. >> jimmy: i am, yeah, yeah. >> you've going to have a baby. >> jimmy: you have some kids running around. >> yeah, but you're having one. two weeks ago i saw jimmy in new york city. we were at a party. and he had secretly said to a few people that he was having a baby. i walked up to jimmy and i said when are you and molly thinking about having kids? he goes she's pregnant. and we told you. my wife is just like you are a [ bleep ] idiot. >> jimmy: i do that all the time, too, and it's terrible. now i've taken to writing it down. there's nothing more offensive to people than forgetting

they're having a baby. and with women, you can see it in the stomach. with men, you can see it in their eye, yes, but not in the stomach. >> i am scared when i walk up to a woman who is pregnant. this is how i wear my fat. >> jimmy: my dad is really good at that, congratulating on people who are not pregnant on being pregnant. >> it's the worst day. >> that should be your next bit. poor i pour ice on them, congratulations you're having a baby. >> you're hosting the white house correspondent dinner coming up. which is a big deal. >> did you know the president will be there? of the united states.

>> and not only that, he's opening for you. >> that's exactly how i want it to be. >> and unfortunately, you happen to be doing this when we have a president who's actually very funny. like when president bush was there, it was ridiculous. following him was, yeah -- >> you could do anything. >> it was like an old episode of "hee-haw." but president obama -- >> he's skilled. >> jimmy: i don't know how he does this, but it's bad for you. >> should i go blue? what do you suggest. should i curse? >> jimmy: cursing is not a great idea. i don't think cursing is a good idea. >> you said a bad word during it. >> jimmy: i did, yeah, but i couldn't help it. occasion occasionally you can say a bad word. >> were you nervous before you went up? >> i had never been more nervous in my life. i was in a hotel room and i started cleaning it like a

lunatic. >> like you were on cocaine or something? >> jimmy: yeah, like that. i went and got a huge coffee beforehand. and that was a mistake. i was already nervous to start with. and i turned into a member of the housekeeping staff. >> you get in your tuxedo. it's a tuxedo, right? >> jimmy: yes. >> before you go from all right, i'm walking out of my hotel room to actually performing. >> jimmy: you'll be staying in the hotel where the event is meld. so it's just an elevator ride. then you have to go through security and stuff. there's a whole thing there. have you had your background check yet? >> not yet. i'm trying to fix some stuff. >> jimmy: anything you should be worried about. >> i was kicked out of the boy scouts as a kid. >> jimmy: that's going to turn up. >> i went to one boy scout meeting. that was enough. i grew up in a suburb of seattle called mercer island.

the boy scout troop at my church was literally troop 666. >> jimmy: no it wasn't. >> you think i'm making it up. they were like yeah, number of the beast, more intimidating. whatever. a cop was the ben leden leader, den mother, whatever it was. >> it was after the meeting was over. i didn't have a shirt at that point. there was some rough housing of the scouts and i pinned a japanese kid who was on top of me, and he ran out screaming. and he's like bring him to me. i went there and he said that's it, you're gone. >> jimmy: you're not going to be able to host this thing now. >> really? >> jimmy: that's a deal breaker right there. >> i have actual felons in my greater family. >> jimmy: well, that's bad, too. >> who are your felons.

>> well, there's my cousin dave. >> jimmy: of course. >> i think he shot up some farm animals and then went on a high speed chase. it was '70s. everything is cool. and then my other cousins husband, he just robbed people. we broke into homes and took things. >> jimmy: don't bring them. >> no, no. they're fine now. they're really great. >> jimmy: who are you bringing to this event? who from your family will come? >> i don't want them there. i'm going to bring my mom, my dad. >> jimmy: will they behave themselves? >> no, no. no. >> jimmy: they will snot. >> maybe, my mom -- well, my dad, we went to the white house correspondent there in 2008. and he saw pamela anderson from afar and just went, that's pamela anderson! and i went yes, it is. that's right. that's her. and then she was one table over and he was like she's right

there. >> jimmy: you're in for a really weird night. that's all i'll tell you. you'll be sitting next to the first lady. at the daes. >> and she's so hot. >> jimmy: she's lovely, by the way. she's very nice. >> what do you talk to her about? >> jimmy: i asked her if she had kids. >> see? this is what i'm talking about. >> jimmy: she yelled at my son. he was standing when everyone was supposed to be sitting. she screamed kevin, sit down! >> that's so awesome. >> jimmy: it was pretty good. >> how many kids do you have? >> jimmy: i don't even know. nobody knows. we'll be right back. there was a boy who traveled to a faraway place where villages floated on water

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>> you're a bad friend. >> that's not fair. that's really not fair. you're a terrible friend. she was mine first. >> it's not like she belongs to anybody. >> love isn't a game, say the guys who always win. and now you and dane cook in one of the three movies he was in about getting laid by accident. only this time it's not a dane cook movie, jack. this time someone is watching. your friend, jason biggs. >> if you never call me dane cook again, isle stand down. for an hour. >> jimmy: not only is the show very funny, i think it might be not only -- it might be the most

inventive prime time network television show ever. i mean, you guys do a lot of weird stuff. >> i agree. we're right up there with "csi: new york" as far as innovation every week. we have crazy stuff coming up. there's one of them. we're doing a full-on gi joe cartoon. >> jimmy: the whole episode is going to be a gi joe cartoon. and that's you. >> this is when my mother-in-law and grandma go i don't know what you're doing. 22 minutes and it makes no sense. yeah. and chevy chase's character died this year. >> jimmy: why did he die? was he not getting along with people on the set? >> what did you hear. >> jimmy: i heard some things. >> i think there had been a couple of things written over the last 30 years. snow, i love him. we still text. >> jimmy: you do not.

>> once in a while i'm accidentally hit my phone. no, but his character died and his death was the most imaginative in history where his character was very rich and he wasbequeathing all of his possessions including a cryogenically frozen sample of his sperm. and then everyone was trying to figure out how he died. and they said it was of dehydration from ejaculating too much. . >> jimmy: i want to congratulate you on another thing. we ran into each other at the airport. you were headed to new york to go to the super bowl. where your beloved seattle seahawks were victorious. >> yes!

yeah, seattle seahawks. yes, it was 37 years of anticipation and pain until that moment. and people are like the game was boring. i was like it was the most interesting game in the history of football. i was taking pictures on my phone when it was 29-0. it's not enough points. they could score a 29-pointer right here. >> jimmy: when you're up 29 points you think okay, we're in good shape or this is going to be the most crushing moment of your life. >> i was like calm down! just wait! >> i drove with bronco fans. >> jimmy: why did you drive with bronco fans? >> it was torture there and then it was pretty great on the way home. >> jimmy: i would have left you at the stadium, by the way. did they stay still the end b?

>> i got a dex tetext from him third quarter. we're ready to go. i was like all right, leave. i'll walk home. i'm staying for a long time. >> jimmy: this is the photo you brought us. >> he's 10. that is in the third quarter. >> jimmy: that's the broncos fan section? >> he intercepted one of the balls. that's atticus. >> jimmy: best of luck with the big correspondent dinner. i'm sure you'll be great. "community" is on tv. thursday nights, 10:00. the great joel mchale. we'll be right back. >> portions of "jimmy kimmel live" is brought to you by at&t.

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>> jimmy: one month from this night millions of teenage girls will be tearing our next guest limb from frame. he is one of the stars of the much-anticipated movie "divergent," which opens march 21st. please welcome ansel elgort.

it's very good to have you here. you're all dressed up. you are the first and probably only ansel i've ever met. the only over ansel i know of is ansel adams and i never met him. >> i am named after him. >> jimmy: your dad is a fashion photographer. >> he's a big fashion photographer guy, you know. >> jimmy: i've got a picture that your dad took. who is this model? this photograph? is this human or a barbie doll? >> looks like it, right? doesn't seem like i care too much. >> and that's you right there. you really don't care.

what are you doing there? >> yeah. my dad used to bring me to long chutes. when i was 8 years old or maybe younger. he would put me in the picture. i think he put me in the picture and i was getting bored and a little testy. i just wanted to play age of empires. and i kind of wish that was now. >> jimmy: don't worry. you've got plenty of this ahead, i have a feeling. well, this movie is based on a series of books. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's very popular with young girls. and we saw what happened with "the hunger games." we saw what happened with "twilight." are you prepared for this potentially -- are you ready to be the new r-pats? >> i don't know. you can't -- listen, i mean -- >> jimmy: what we can gather is

that you are not ready for this. >> no. you know, i'm a kid from new york. i love acting. i've been doing it for a long time. >> jimmy: how long have you been doing it? what are you? 14 years old? how long have you been acting? >> i've been acting probably about nine years. because -- >> jimmy: oh, yeah. when i was young, i always wanted to be on broadway. >> jimmy: you did? why broadway? did your parents take you to plays? >> no. on our car rides. we used to go skiing. we were a ski family. in our car rides, my mom used to play "oklahoma" and i would sing along. we liked show tunes as a family. then one day i said mom, i want to try to be in one of those shows. so she took me to an audition, a broadway audition. it wasn't a broadway audition. i got there and it was a bunch of people in tutus and ballet shoes. and it was an audition for the school of american ballet, which i wasn't very happy about

because i didn't want to be a ballerina or whatever. >> jimmy: a ballerina or whatever? >> so then my mom said do this. and i ended up getting into the school. do this and you'll be on broadway one day. turns out my first year, because it's the school of american ballet, they choose who's in "the nutcracker." >> jimmy: that was your first play? >> first time ever on stage was in front of 3,000 people. >> jimmy: really? your mother was right. >> yeah. i loved it. >> jimmy: when your mom brought you to that ballet thing. did you cry? did you get mad? were you upset? >> i was upset at first, but then i realized there weren't too many guys around and there were a lot of girls. >> jimmy: that's a helr ofl of conclusion to jump to at that age. i think you are ready nor

divergent mania. that's a little different. that's mostly dancing, right? >> i just did that for about five year, ballet. and i was never really that good at it, to be honest. but i think what it did give me was stage presence and, like, the ability to hold myself on stage. and then from there, i went into singing and i did musical theatre at school. and i left my -- i went to a normal academic school and my parents were so nice and let me go to a performing arts school for middle school and high school. from there i did singing and then i got into straight acting. >> jimmy: do you have brothers and sisters? >> yeah. >> jimmy: are they involved in the same stuff. >> we're all in the arts. my sister is a fashion photographer as well and my brother is a film director. >> jimmy: i was thinking about that. you being onset with your dad as he photographs these models in various states of dress and undress. and i can't help imagine that your mom intentionally sent you along just so the models knew that there was a family at home.

>> that's a good point. >> jimmy: do you think that's possible? >> i never thought about that. could be. >> jimmy: have people started chasing you around yet? >> no. i mean, if i'm on set, some people will come and they'll be nice and have their book and they'll be nice. but i've never been recognized in new york city. >> jimmy: you haven't? >> no. the other day i was in the subway and this is the first time it ever happened to me. i was in the platform headed back to brooklyn. and i look over to my left and there's a guy and he has his iphone out with two ear buds in and he's watching "carrie." i see chloe and i realize it's the scene where i'm in the scene. i'm taking her to prom. it switches, my face is on the screen. i'm like this is my chance. i get to go over there and be like hey, man, oh, wow, a movie star. i was so excited. and i went over and i tapped him on the shoulder.

and i go like this. and he looks at me like i'm crazy. i'm like no, no, that's me. he says what? he takes out his earbuds. i said that's me right there. i took off my hood. oh, yeah, yeah. cool, man. we should take a picture or something. >> yeah, yeah, you want to take a picture. and he said yeah. and he puts the ear bud back in. >> jimmy: you're going to long for those days. i wish you a lot of luck. i hope to see you again. "divergent" is the name of the movie. it opens march 21. ansel elgort, everybody.

get ready for a night of monster taco madness - ster taco fans! when two new monster taco flavors from jack in the box face off. introducing - the bacon ranch monster taco, crushin' it with strips of bacon and creamy ranch versus the nacho monster taco, comin' hard with nacho cheese and jalapeños! monster, monster, monster tacos! too much? needs an explosion.

[ man ] adventure, it means taking chances. it means trying something new. [ woman ] just, that uncertainty of what's to come. [ man ] just kidding. ♪ can you please stop doing that? ♪ [ woman ] you walk outside, and it's cement and broken glass. and this is just like... the opposite of that. ♪

>> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. rethink possible. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank joel mchale, ansel elgort, and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first, playing the title track from his album "you should be so lucky," benmont tench. ♪ ♪ you should be so lucky you should be so sly as to take my fancy as to strike my eye ♪ ♪ yeah you should be all that you should have such stuff you should be so lucky that i would give a ♪ ♪ who told you i was lookin who said that i was out

for any piece of the action that you were all about ♪ ♪ did you think you so high did you think me so low ♪ ♪ did you think you were the question to which i couldn't say no ♪ ♪ well you should be so lucky you should be so sweet as to find yourself one man worth a tenth of me ♪ ♪ with a heart so strong with an eye so clear yeah you should be so lucky as to make it outta here ♪ ♪ from the day we met i knew that we were meant for disgrace or glory hell or heaven-bent ♪

♪ look into my eyes my little baby blue bend your ear to my lips and let me tell you the news ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ under another sky under another sun maybe some other guy would tell you you were the one ♪ ♪ but that's another story and this one's all ready foretold ♪ ♪ i hate to spoil the ending but you ain't comin in from the cold ♪ ♪ well ain't the river pretty just like a picture

book come and walk beside me we'll take a closer look ♪ ♪ show a little trust put your hand in mine and i'll show you lucky while the waters rise ♪ ♪ yeah you should be so lucky your life should be so sweet ♪ ♪ as to find yourself one man worth a tenth of me ♪ ♪ yeah you should be all that you should have such stuff ♪ ♪ you should be so lucky but now your luck is all used up ♪ ♪ yeah you should be so lucky but now your

luck is all used up ♪ ♪ tonight on "nightline" -- he's a hot yoga superstar now accused of a terrible betrayal of trust. >> nobody has the right to my body. >> three young women who say the yoga they loved led not to nirvana but to assault. >> he raped me. >> a "nightline" exclusive. i'm ready because it's my truth. a truth i want people to know. >> in the past bikram told us there's no truth to rumors he's had sex with his students. >> [ bleep ]. >> the first time we met him he had no time for his critics. >> people talked bad about jesus also. so what? >> tonight, "nightline"