tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC March 13, 2014 11:35pm-12:38am PDT
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device with our 7 news app. next newscast 4:30 tomorrow morning. >> i'm carolyn johnson. thanks for joins everyone >> announcer: from austin, texas, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- lady gaga. from "scandal," darby stanchfield. a special appearance by johnny winter. and music from the preatures. with cleto and the cletones. presented by esurance. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ]
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>> thank you very much. that's very nice. i appreciate that. please, please, please, relax. it's embarrassing. you're very nice. i'm jimmy. i'm your host of the show tonight. this is our -- oh, this is our fourth of five nights broadcasting from the long center in austin, texas. the south by southwest festival. i had to get a bigger shirt because my shirt didn't fit anymore. and i'll be wearing this suit tomorrow because it's the only suit that will still fit me. in texas, pork is considered a
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condiment. i've been seriously thinking of getting a pair of maternity pants. speaking of maternity pants, where is guillermo? oh, there he is, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's becoming more intolerable each night we were here. what did you do last night, guillermo? >> i went to a concert. >> jimmy: which concert did you go to? >> jay-z and kanye west. >> jimmy: did you go to eat before the concert? >> of course. >> jimmy: did you go to eat after the concert? >> yes. >> jimmy: very good. what did you have after the concert? >> i had a chicken and waffle. >> jimmy: in addition to eating everything in sight, guillermo's been doing some interviews. last night he paid a visit to our local affiliate here in
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austin. every wednesday might they have a segment called "does it work." they test products from infomercials. since guillermo was there on wednesday, they fitted him on something called the neck magic air cushion. >> i don't know if this is going to fit you. >> i think i'm too fat. >> reporter: guillermo has to take off his jacket and tie to give as you little more neck room. we finally get it on. it looks like a dog collar. how's that feel? >> terrible. it's a perfect gift for my mother, though. >> jimmy: it looked good on you, i tell you. we have quite a collection of guests tonight. sitting in with the cletones, tex texas' own johnny winter is here with us tonight.
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and we have music from a great australian band darby preatures, darby stanchfield and we'll get a visit from lady gaga. she didn't bring the meat dress or the giant egg. she didn't want to be turned into a giant breakfast taco. right after here, she's rushing over to stubs to play a concert. i haven't seen this many hipsters in one place since i took a home pickling class at an artesian cheese shop. this festival is not just about music but also getting turned away from panel discussions. i hosted a panel discussion on
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how to get the most free food at whole foods this morning and only two people showed up. there's a scandal. people have been selling fake parking spaces. they charge people to park in spots they have no ownership of. you hand your money, they hand you a ticket stub and when you come back, your car has been towed. here's a tip to avoid becoming a victim of this fraud. if you find a parking space during south, southwest, it's a scam. >> i have to interrupt you. >> jimmy: why do you have to interrupt me? >> we have a special guest. >> jimmy: we do? >> yes. please welcome to mayor -- >> jimmy: the what? >> the mayor of austin
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mayor. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy, on behalf of the city of austin, i'm very pleased to present you with an official proclamation. "be it known that whereas jimmy kimmel is the host of late night comedy show based in hollywood and whereas jimmy kimmel has traveled many miles to bring the show "jimmy kimmel live" to the great city of austin, texas, and whereas the cast and crew of jimmy kimmel live have hereby
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provided austin nights with a week of totally kick ass entertainment and music, and whereas the city of austin wishes to recognize and thank "jimmy kimmel live" for its generous contribution to our community and whereas guillermo is adorable -- [ cheers ] -- and whereas this proclamation was also intended to honor matt damon but unfortunately we ran out of time. >> jimmy: good. >> therefore, i do hereby proclaim march 14, 2014 as jimmy kimmel day in austin, texas. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow.
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that is exciting. and i want to say -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, mr. mayor. and i'll tell you something -- you hear that, kids? it's jimmy kimmel day tomorrow. that means there's no school tomorrow. >> hold on, jimmy, school is still in session. >> jimmy: it is my day and i will decide whether the children go to school or not. they will not go to school. >> wait a minute. i wanted to present you with a key to the city also. >> jimmy: oh really? >> so hang on just a second. >> jimmy: huh. you'd think it would be bigger. does it open anything? >> it doesn't open anything i'm aware of. they're using mostly key cards
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these days. >> jimmy: i'll just take all of your keys. >> you deserve all of them. >> jimmy: thank you, mr. mayor. we're going to take a break. i got a car out of the deal. when we return, this is something you asked for so we did it. we made up a bunch of fake bands and we asked people here at south by southwest what they think about them in a special austin edition of eyewitness news when we come back, plus lady gaga, darby stanchfield, johnny winter is sitting in with the cletones. we'll be right back. ♪ ♪
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with the cletones tonight. i mentioned earlier, so much great music happening here in austin. there are over 2,000 bands playing south by southwest this year. which i think is all of them. i think every band is here. people come to music festival, pride themselves on knowing who the new acts are, even if they don't actually know who the new acts a. we sent a camera crew to ask people about bands that do not exist. these are not real bands, we made them all up, but that didn't stop people from telling us how much they liked them on a special edition of lie witness news. >> a big band on the seen is contact dermatitis. do you think he has what it really takes to make it to the big time? >> absolutely.
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hopefully they'll go the whole way. >> do you think contact dermatitis will spread like a rash. >> hopefully. >> do you think neal harassment will make it? >> i think so. they're very entertaining. >> do you think they're like the entertaining [ bleep ] bruce generaler? -- jenner? >> i think so, they're having a great following. >> what did you think about d.j. heavy flow? >> i've only herd a couple of songs. people are like youtube this, youtube that. i'm like, all right, let do it, why not. >> what do you like about the
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costco sound? >> at first i was like that's a store name. it pretty good, i'm not going to lie. >> what do you think about this band straight out of flow, baby borne? >> what do you think of the country rap artist willie nelson mandela? are you a a fan of his sound? >> to be honest, not too much. i heard it and i'm not that into it. >> what have you heard about tanya and the hittings? >> a lot of men have said they're really impressed with them. they've really made a statement. >> they have that kind of sexy and dangerous? >> exactly. can hold their own. >> what do you think about the tanya and harding album "sorry
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about that nancy"? >> i've only heard snippets and it really good. i'd like to see them live. >> where are you from? >> what do you think of the band i'm not done with the salad? >> they're good. >> what did you think about them? are they as good as the others? >> it's hard not to look. >> are you excited about the dragon pony? >> i try any type of music, any and everything. >> do you like how she takes baths on stage? >> yeah, it real creative. you don't see too many people
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getting creative like that so it's kind of neat to see what she's doing. >> what do you think of king joffrey's album "watch the iron thrown"? >> you can tell an artist spent time in to it. >> what do you think of jamie and his sister are going to be doing in five years with their music? >> to be honest, i think it's going to send a wave through america, to be honest. it going to open a lot of people's eyes. >> which do you like better, vegan bikini or d.j. >> probably d.j. metamucil. >> they're completely fictional. >> yeah.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. this our fourth of five nights here at the long center in austin, texas. texas blues legend, johnny winter, is sitting in with the cletones tonight. [ applause ] >> jimmy: there is a new documentary about johnny called "johnny winter: down & dirty." it premiered here at south by southwest last night, and his new album "step back" comes out in june. johnny winter! >> jimmy: tonight on the show, you know her as abby weelin on "scandal," darby stanchfield is here. and then, making their television debut with music from
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this ep called "is this how you feel?" all the way from australia, the preatures from the at&t stage. you can see the preatures playing at coachella and bonnaroo this summer. we have a new show tomorrow night. lil wayne will be here. los lonely boys will be with us, and willie nelson, too. lil wayne and willie nelson, they're friends. for real. they met at summer camp when they were kids. also, as those of us here in austin are aware, there was a terrible accident last night. a driver who was reportedly drunk plowed into a lot of people. he killed a man and a woman and badly injured a lot more. if you want to make a donation to help their families, go to sxswcares.com. and also, it is always a great idea to give blood. to find out where, contact your local red cross.
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[ applause ] >> jimmy: the best thing about being our first guest is that when she's in austin she can barbecue her own dress. she's an international superstar with a monstrous fan base and this album, too. please say hello to lady gaga. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for coming. have a seat. wow. may i -- hello, lady gaga.
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how are you? >> hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: may i touch your dress? >> yes. it's made of coffee filters. >> jimmy: is it really? >> yes. >> jimmy: upcycling. see, can y -- >> see, you can do anything with your crazy ideas if you put your mind to it. >> jimmy: well, you can. did you make the dress? >> no, it was made by a wonderful designer. he sent it to me for the show. hi, everyone! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you must feel a lot of pressure to come up with a unique outfit every time do you something. it's got to be hard to top yourself all the time. >> well, i just really wanted to be comfortable for the interview. >> jimmy: those are some serious wedges you got there. i mean, that looks like a
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quintuple wedge you have there. this adds like 9 inches to your height. >> they're my walking shoes. >> jimmy: are you able to disguise yourself here and walk around in austin? >> yeah, i've had a great time. i've been going out every night and seeing as much music as i can. i miss that so much, seeing music, wandering around the bars. >> jimmy: so you've been going out? >> yeah. to be honest i don't remember exactly what happened when i was there. >> jimmy: what's the first concert you remember going to? >> i was with my mom, who's here. hi, mom. she took me to see "jingle ball"
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in new york city, it was a radio station show and the goo goo dolls were playing. >> jimmy: oh. gaga goo goo. >> yeah. i was so excited because it was the first time i ever saw production on a stage because they had snowflakes coming down from the ceiling. and i just looked at my mom and said "oh, my god, mom, it's snowing inside" and it was all downhill from there. >> jimmy: have you been able to -- do you eat barbecue? is that something you enjoy? >> that's actually why i wore it because i'm really fat right now because i ate barbecue all week. >> jimmy: oh, you did. any particular spot you like? >> i had some from stubs because i'm playing their door ito bowl.
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and i had some at salt lick, too. and if i see any meat on the street, i just will eat it. >> jimmy: it occurred to me, i was looking at some pictures of you today, that this suit that you war, this flying outfit, would have been perfect for south by southwest. this is something -- you didn't get this at macy's obviously. does a designer build that for you or does nasa build this for you? >> that's actually cbs. >> jimmy: oh, i didn't know they had those. actually, my friends built that, something that we really wanted to do with the release of my new album, is to really show what "art pop" is all about. it's about being a creative and rebellious spirit. it's about doing the opposite of expectation. it's about celebrating future thinkers, and my friends are really creative and rebellious
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and all those sorts of things and they wanted to make a dress that flew so we did. >> jimmy: for you i think at this point, i think the opposite, doing what people didn't expect, would be pore fo to come out in like gap jeans or something or a nice pair of khakis. >> well, i think you should watch the show at the bowl stage. >> jimmy: oh, interesting. perhaps you will be dressed like a best buy employee. i heard you are going to go to space? >> jimmy: i'm going to sing with a group. >> jimmy: did you see the film "gravity"?
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there's a lot of space junk up there, anything could happen. >> i have some really amazing fans and because of them i'm not afraid of anything. >> jimmy: why am i afraid of everything? will you go up there yourself? >> i will be up there with a few other people to help me do the performance, make sure the sound is good and all those sorts of things. yeah, my fans are exactly what makes me feel fearless. it's because we all think the same way, we are all excited about music, about creativity, about compassion and when we come together, great things can happen. so i know that when i'm up there, they'll be with me. [ applause ] >> jimmy: she means that figuratively. you're not bringing everyone into space. >> i'll call richard branson and ask him. >> jimmy: in space they can't hear you scream but hopefully they'll be able to hear you sing.
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[ silence ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> is that a question? >> jimmy: i don't think it is, no. maybe it's a good time to take a break and we'll ponder what i just threw at you. lady gaga, everyone. >> announcer: portions of "jimmy kimmel live in austin are brought to you by esurance, insurance for the modern world. [ speaking russian ] ♪ ♪ i have no idea what you're saying, but count me in! peanut m&m's for everyone! [ laughter ] wait...what?
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in with the cletones and lady gaga is here. tomorrow at south by southwest, you're delivering the key note speech. >> yes. >> jimmy: have you prepared for the keynote speech? >> yes, john norris is doing it with me. and he's really, really great. we're actually doing it like a conversation. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> i just really -- my -- i don't really have anything particularly planned that i want to come across during the speech. >> jimmy: that's a bad start, that's a bad start. >> well, i guess i just really want the audience to leave feeling with a sense of love for music, experiencing live music, for creative people that are listeni listening, who want to go home, keep playing their instruments and pursuing their dreams. i think that's what's at the
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heart of this festival and that would be the best contribution. >> jimmy: absolutely. people come from all over the place to be heard. >> yeah. the most amazing thing for me to witness is watching these bands on stage in these little bars and standing there going, oh, my god, this is how i started. i must have played over a thousand bars, clubs. i mean, maybe more. i don't even remember. >> jimmy: did you ever have a situation where a big star came in to see you at one of these small gigs that you were doing and you knew that person there was? >> no. no, i didn't. >> jimmy: no one ever did? >> no. my friends were there, though. >> jimmy: do you think the bands knew you were there in disguise watching them? >> they did eventually. i went to a def metal show the other night -- that's like really my favorite type of music. so i was in the audience and i like ran across the street and i had a beer in my hand and i was barefoot and i started head banging with some strangers.
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so much fun. and i just remember that the bass player looked up and he was like -- and then the infamous -- if i hear the word "selfie" one more time -- >> jimmy: it's a terrible word, isn't it? >> yeah. it's really amazing how far we've come with technology. >> jimmy: we've come too far. >> yeah. it's really taking humankind to another level. >> jimmy: yes, it is. right now you're going to go over to stubs. you have a big show there. what did you have them do to get in? you had them do something bold? >> yeah, i saw videos of people jumping off a building to catch a ticket. it's pretty crazy what they've been doing and that's the kind of radical fans i have. i'm a lucky girl.
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everyone's doing great. i'm so happy to be here. i'm very lucky i have amazing fans but it was so great to be a fan and cheer people on and see the looks on their faces. i think some of the bands here probably had some of the biggest crowds they've ever had before and watching them get so excited to have people hear their music. >> jimmy: we're excited to have you here. people folks on your outfits and all that goes with that but you are one of the most talented people. seeing you perform live is really phenomenal. i thank you for being here. >> that's really sweet. i don't know why they talk about my outfit. >> jimmy: i don't know either. you know, i think they're obsessed with coffee filters is what it is. lady gaga, everybody. we'll be right back with darby stanchfield.
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♪ ♪ >> jimmy: it's a busy time here in austin. our friends at esurance have been giving lots of innovative prizes. here's what happened with we took over and gave away some not so innovative prizes. >> to get your prize, we'd like to take a picture of you. scanning. scanning. please do not move. don't blink, don't breathe. we need you to set up a password. >> lipstick 24. >> lipstick 28, 28, 36, 36, 48. >> a if you more lipsticks.
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>> lipstick 28, 26, 26, 28, 28, 29, 29. >> did you write that down? >> no. >> what's your name? >> lisa graham. >> can you say that slower? >> lisa graham. >> you didn't have to say that so sarcastic. >> do you wear that hat all the time? >> yes. >> maybe it's a new hat. >> i hope you like chocolate cake. welcome to austin! grits on us. >> esurance. esurance for the modern world. it's so quick! it's just like my car insurance. i saved 15% in just 15 minutes. i saved more than that in half the time. i unfriend you. that's not how it works. that's not how any of this works. [ male announcer ] 15 minutes for a quote isn't how it works anymore.
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you cannot short-change a clean bum. get ready for this. it's a wipe for your bum! so you do a bit of dry, and then a wet, and then a dry, and you're good to go. do you think they're for girls? i think they're for everyone. i need a clean alley, every time. nothing leaves you feeling cleaner and fresher than the cottonelle care routine. so let's talk about your bum on facebook. that's the bowling alley cleaned up. where will we end up next?
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome. you almost tripped and meanwhile lady gaga came in here in 3 foot heels and had no problem. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we'll have to get you a pedi-cab. is this your first time here? >> this is my first time in austin. >> jimmy: where are you from? >> i'm from dutch harbor, alaska. >> jimmy: wow. >> i was born on a small island called kodiak. it a small fishing village kind of at the base of alaska. when i was in second grade, we moved to dutch harbor, which is an even smaller fishing harbor
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out on the baring sea near russia. >> jimmy: they're laughing because of sarah palin but it is near russia, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i know alaska's cold but that's in the really, really cold part of alaska, right? >> well, no. the main characteristic of the islands is the wind. the average wind storm is 120 miles an hour. >> jimmy: no, it is not! >> yes. >> jimmy: that's what it was here yesterday. >> was it? >> jimmy: 120 miles an hour. >> so any given year some roof off some building will disappear. >> jimmy: i'm surprised everyone hasn't disappeared. that's why you got to eat here in austin, in case you go back home you have to weigh more, not get blown away.
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120 miles an hour, no. >> i was a skinny kid, very, very skinny kid. about fourth grade i have a really endearing memory about the wind. >> jimmy: what happened? >> i was on my way to school, i was out of the house going 20 feet toward the truck and the driveway. you know, just walking toward the truck, a big gust of wind comes up underneath me, picks me up, slams me in the driveway, i have a huge bloody nose, i'm crying "what's going on?" and i'm a mess, i'm frantic. for the next two, three years i looked like -- of course i had a problem going from the house to the truck it was like, okay, okay, are we clear, are we clear? >> jimmy: but did you get to meet the wizard? why did you live in that part of class? what did your father do? >> my dad was a king crab
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fisherman. have you seen the show on cable television? >> jimmy: oh, he was there before television. >> he was the original guy. >> jimmy: you got free crab out of it, right? >> more crab than i could ever want, zip log bags of it in the freezer. now i would kill for king crab. >> jimmy: of course, of course. what kind of shows did you do before "scandal"? >> i've done scenes on "castle," "csi" and a commercial you might remember, the shampoo commercial, doing series of orgasms, remember, there was a
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brunette, a blond and they were interviewing for a red head. so i showed up for the audition -- >> jimmy: oh, there was an audition for that? >> of course. >> jimmy: a bunch of perverts in the room. >> you get into a room and there's a huge tv monitor and about 20 people around the conference table and it on mute. i can't hear what they're saying. i'm in the middle of this room, i have shampoo, no water and i have to do the, oh, oh, yes! tropical fruit, oh, yes! bananas! and apparently i got the job. >> jimmy: well, you're good at
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it. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i think if i was your boyfriend at the time, it would make me a little insecure watching you do that so naturally. >> let not talk about that. >> jimmy: are you enjoying "scandal"? >> i am. i'm loving it. >> jimmy: have fun in your remaining time in austin. is there anything you plan to do when you're here? >> put on my cowboy boots and get to the salt lick before i go to the airport. >> jimmy: get to the salt lick. darby stanchfield, everyone. we'll be right back with music from the preatures! ♪ ♪
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>> announcer: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. rethink possible. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank lady gaga, darby stanchfield, mayor leffingwell and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first, with the title track from their ep "is this how you feel?" the preatures. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ twilight been alright i'm
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gonna see you again tonight and now you got me started i'm on shaky right tonight ♪ ♪ then i see you i won't go where the beach is warm and i won't get stung ♪ ♪ i won't get storm, yours -- baby is this how you feel i wanna know -- wanna know ♪ ♪ i could keep on the same mistakes or i could make a new dancing out my feet now ♪ ♪ there's a little to me but i don't know what i'm too young to quit now i'm too young to quit ♪
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♪ but i can clean how's it feel for you like it's real for me i've been walking further ♪ ♪ just looking for ya babe this all yours -- baby is this how you feel i wanna know wanna know ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ and i wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna ♪ ♪ wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna know and i wanna wanna wanna ♪ ♪ i move up let's call a week and down to the heaven and never
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felt baby is this how you feel ♪ ♪ i wanna know wanna know is this how you feel i wanna know wanna know is this how you feel ♪ ♪ i wanna know wanna know is this how you feel i wanna know wanna know is this how you feel babe ♪ ♪ is this how you feel is this how you feel baby is this how you feel is this how you feel baby ♪ ♪ is this how you feel is this how you feel baby is this how you feel is this how you feel baby ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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tonight on ""nightline,"" me, my five wives and 24 kids. we go inside a polygamist home the likes of which you have never seen before. they're even letting cameras in the bedroom. >> all of america is having sex. so are we. we're just normal. >> but are they really one big happy family. >> why even other polygamists think these people are going too far. plus, the most wanted muppet. >> put the frog down! >> we hank out with ricky, thai and tina and the dark green underbelly of a famous frog. >> it's not
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