for sand -- sandhya and larry and everyone here view have a great from austin, texas, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- willie nelson. lil wayne. jimmy and guillermo tour the university of texas and a special appearance by los lonely boys with cleto and the cletones. presented by cottonelle. ♪ it's jimmy kimmel live >> and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: thank you very much. welcome to the city of austin. appreciate that. thank you very much. i am jimmy, i am the host of the show. we are coming to you live from austin, texas. that's very nice. i appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] i have to say, thank you so much. we've been broadcasting from austin all week and i'm sad to say this is our last night here, which is -- i would cry but my tear ducts are clogged with queso right now. we head home and then on monday i'm going on "the biggest loser"

and work some of this weight off. you know it's a good trip when you have to request a seat belt extender for your flight back. speaking of seat belt extender, where is guillermo. guillermo, come out here and say hello and good-bye to everyone. [ cheers and applause ] hey -- you know, guillermo -- >> guillermo: it's okay. >> jimmy: the pants are supposed to go over the boot. >> guillermo: it's okay. >> jimmy: are you sad that we're leaving, guillermo? >> guillermo: yeah, very sad. >> jimmy: did you tell your wife you can't wait to get home? >> guillermo: yeah, i did. >> jimmy: you did, okay. [ laughter ] i really cannot overstate what a good time we've had here.

i've learned a lot of things this week in austin. can i get some music for this, guys? and also, can i get a state flag? do we have -- [ cheers and applause ] if you learned anything during this week here in texas, one of the things i learned that austinites are some of the kindest, most welcoming people on the planet unless your name is rick perry, in which case they will boo you until you go away. i learned that pickles are served with ribs so you feel like you've eaten something green. i learned that if you follow a man with a beard he will lead you to a panel discussion on increasing your social media presence. i learned that tacos are the real breakfast of champions. [ cheers and applause ]

i learned that matthew mcconaughey has a brother named rooster, which i didn't know. i learned that the best haircuts come with a can of lone star beer. the mayor was here last night, i learned that the key to the city doesn't actually unlock anything. i learned that a petty cab is not a cab you can get a pedicure in. and most importantly i learned that if you say hook 'em horns people will scream very, very, very loudly. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. thank you so much. we're not finished. we have a great show for you tonight. first of all, sitting with cleto and the cletones, our old plays, three exceptionally talented brothers from here in texas, los lonely boys are here with us. [ cheers and applause ] good to see you. they were lonely so we crammed

them in with the rest of the guys in the band. also tonight, lil wayne is here. you know because everything is bigger in texas, even lil wayne, he'll be known as averaged-sized wayne here tonight. and one of the great singers and songwriters of all time, willie nelson is here with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] willie nelson. willie is america's second-oldest stoner, right behind betty white. we had seth rogan and snoop dogg to start the tonight, tonight we have willie nelson and lil wayne is in the long center or the bong center? lady gaga was here and then played a concert that people are talking about of. i know austin likes to keep things weird but lady gaga got roasted on a spit while dancers

painted her with barbecue sauce. that was normal. then she had a person known as a vomit artist vom isist used a gd as she played drums and then he painted her black. basically she ripped off willie nelson's entire act. and the best part is -- [ applause ] i think in my opinion, the best part is the concert was sponsored by doritos. so they must have been thrilled. we paid $5 million for vomit? lady gaga gave the south by southwest key note address this morning and this is what she wore to the keynote address. had a dress made out of plastic bags. seems like it would have been smarter to wear that last night when -- when there was a vomit artist.

but that's lady gaga for you. of course, the big excitement tonight here in austin is the special day, a holiday, last night the mayor made an official proclamation that march 14 is jimmy kimmel day in the city of the austin. i have my own day. i have my own day, just like columbus and arbor before me. jimmy kimmel day honors the brave jimmy kimmel who journeyed to austin and ate all of its food and drank all of its beer to test it to make sure it's safe for you. we honor his sacrifice. the day is almost over, as my last official act, you know president obama pardons the turkey on thanksgiving? as my last official act tonight, i will pardon a cow. [ cheers and applause ]

sancho is a texas longhorn steer. that's his handler, gill, and sancho, the cow, to commemorate this historic occasion i hereby pardon you from entering my stomach. although do you look delicious, by my decree you'll never be eaten by me or any man i call upon all my powers to grant you eternal life, sancho. [ applause ] sancho, by the way, peed and crapped all over the stage more than guillermo really during rehearsal. [ laughter ] one more thing, it's the end of the week and even we're in austin, that means it's time for the weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship. why the ". >> hundreds of people laced up

their shoes and boots for the [ bleep ] your 5k. >> accuweather. with scott [ bleep ]. >> up next, we have more on the free [ bleep ] you can enjoy without paying a dime. >> here in the woods you can maybe [ bleep ] if you're lucky. >> martin, check it out. what's going on? [ bleep ] here in that hole. trust me. >> all right. >> this is peter [ bleep ], music writer. >> her career was supposed tow fulfillment of a girlhood dream but reality was one [ bleep ] after another. >> we talked to your dad during the game and we could barely get through the interview because he was so [ bleep ] up. >> my dear husband [ bleep ], my butt every night. >> what do you say? >> [ bleep ] your butt so you can go to sleep. >> [ bleep ] in your mouth or multiple [ bleep ] in your mouth, tongue, throat, start [ bleep ] in your ears, in your

ice, all common sense goes out the window. >> thank you. >> you're welcome. >> and delicious. ooh. >> when we come back, there is a new student at the university of texas and his name is guillermo and we'll show you our tour of the campus. that is next, plus willie nelson, lil wayne and los lonely boys sitting in with the cletones. it's our final night in austin. so come right back. ♪ i think of you all day ♪ and in the night when i'm asleep baby you're in my

dreams ♪ ♪ i can't stop thinking about you ♪ ♪ i can't stop thinking about you ♪ ♪ i'm going to buy you a ring k. that when you've been set up accused and convicted ...a new car can put it all behind you? depends on the car. see the all-new 2015 ford mustang in need for speed. in theaters now. what? [ male announcer ] ...is rewashing.

so we reimagined the dishwasher with an industry first: 102 spray jets. why 102? that's why. ge. reimagining home. i've been claritin clear for 6 amazdays. that's why. at the first sign of my allergies, my doctor recommended taking one claritin every day of my allergy season for continuous relief. 21 days! 28 days of continuous relief live claritin clear. every day. what ya got there? oh, new cheez-it grooves.

it's a cheez-it, but it's light and crispy like a chip, kind of the best of both worlds. there's more than one world? no. it's just this world -- they're among us, disguised as humans? [ gasps ] you're one of them... okay. security! it's the best of both worlds. cheez-it and chip. ah help! he's here! and he's got a probe! it's a pen. it's a probe! [ male announcer ] we take the time for our cheese to mature before we bake it into our new cheez-it grooves. because at cheez-it®, real cheese matters. it's on.

in this corner, the newcomer citrus lime sirloin! and in this corner, chicken & shrimp tequila tango! 2 of the best, now on applebee's famous 2 for $20 menu. applebee's. see you tomorrow.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. coming to you from austin. los lonely boys sitting in with the cletones. willie nelson and lil wayne are on the way. but first, a lot of people don't realize this but my friend guillermo never went to college, right? >> guillermo: never. >> jimmy: high school, yes?

did you graduate from high school? >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: since we're coming to austin we thought it would be a perfect opportunity to continue guillermo's education, so i took him to the university of texas and -- [ cheers and applause ] we signed him up. ♪ >> jimmy: are you nervous? >> guillermo: very nervous, jimmy. >> jimmy: you look really cute and i'm really proud of you. this is a big day for you. >> guillermo: big day. >> jimmy: you know what learning is? it's like eating but with your brain. >> guillermo: okay. talking about eating. >> jimmy: i packed you a lunch. just what you like. >> guillermo: thank you very much. >> jimmy: ready go? let's do it. >> guillermo: let's go. what is that over there? >> jimmy: you see what it says there? read that. >> guillermo: you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free. >> jimmy: you know what that means? i don't know. let's go in and find out. >> guillermo: okay. >> jimmy: didn't really graduate

from college. trying to figure out what guillermo's major will be. he's a new student. >> what you interested in doing? >> guillermo: i like to talk to people, hang around with people. >> we have a major called communication studies. >> guillermo: i think i might be good for that. >> would you be interested in visiting a class? >> guillermo: a lot of girls in the class? all right, let's go. >> jimmy: i can see that you're nervous. you'll be great in there, okay? >> guillermo: they're not going to make fun of you? >> jimmy: no, i'll go in there with you. let's go. it's exciting. >> guillermo: okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: where is everybody? >> nobody comes to class during south by southwest. >> jimmy: could we play with the overhead projector? >> i don't see why not.

>> guillermo: you're a good professor. >> jimmy: look at that. smile. see that? >> guillermo: wow! >> jimmy: that's a college student right there. this might be a good thing for you. i started in college radio. this is the college radio station. >> guillermo: okay. >> jimmy: you know what these are, guillermo? >> guillermo: no. oh, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: these are albums. in the old days people used to put a needle on these and spin them around and music would come out. >> guillermo: my grandma used to listen to that. [ laughter ] >> here's scott, one of the dee jays here. >> jimmy: i'm jimmy. this is guillermo. >> guillermo: how are you? >> jimmy: he wants to be a dee jay. >> guillermo: i never done this. >> jimmy: show you how it works. all right. your mike is hot, that's what we say -- when we're on. >> guillermo: kbr austin --

>> jimmy: hold on. right off the bat it's kvrx. >> guillermo: kvrx. >> jimmy: it's kv -- >> guillermo: kvrx. >> jimmy: there you go. austin. >> guillermo: austin. thank you for coming. what's your name? >> jimmy: no one's calling. you can't really say that until somebody calls in. >> guillermo: oh, okay. >> jimmy: caller 73 right now. and say your name also. >> guillermo: hi, maria? >> jimmy: her name is not maria. >> guillermo: hi, it's me guillermo. i'm here at kvrx austin. how can i help you? >> jimmy: you know i don't think this is the thing for him. >> it's not for everyone. >> jimmy: it's not. >> some people are too cool for college radio. >> guillermo: you think i'm too cool? >> yeah, probably. >> guillermo: yeah? >> jimmy: you know anything about a fraternity? you know what it means to pledge a fraternity?

>> >> guillermo: no. a place like a home? >> jimmy: it's like a home but a bunch of guys live. >> guillermo: oh, okay. roommates. >> jimmy: i had a better idea for you. you are going to pledge a sorority. >> hello. >> jimmy: hello. look at this. >> guillermo: wow! >> jimmy: hi, everybody. >> hi! >> jimmy: i want you to meet somebody, this is guillermo. he's looking for a place to live. >> guillermo: hi, girls. >> jimmy: he just enrolled in college. you think you could live in a place like this? >> guillermo: wow, i would love to. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: here you go. >> guillermo: what are we gonna do today? ♪ ♪ go horns go

>> jimmy: now guillermo, do it. do it. >> guillermo: like this. whoo! >> jimmy: we got to figure this out. what other subjects are you interested in? >> guillermo: wow. sex. >> jimmy: i don't think you can major in sex. >> guillermo: oh. >> jimmy: anything else? >> guillermo: sports? >> jimmy: sports? all right. yes. sports. >> guillermo: sports. all right. ♪ >> jimmy: whoa. look at this. >> guillermo: crazy machines, huh? >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> doing great. >> jimmy: jimmy. >> donny. >> jimmy: nice to meet you, this is guillermo, new student. >> welcome. >> jimmy: what do you have to offer him exercise-wise. >> we have plenty. multipurpose rack with dumb

bells to get his arms stronger. on the back of that, your lap pools to get shoulders bigger and stronger and multi-purpose rack station, squats to get his legs quicker. >> jimmy: squats would be good. would you -- [ laughter ] guillermo? guillermo? >> where did he go? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i had a feeling i would find you here. i think you found the most important thing about college. >> guillermo: that's right. >> jimmy: drinking to excess. >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: to college. >> guillermo: to college. cheers. ♪ well -- you know you make me wanna shout ♪ ♪ kick my heels up and shout

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show, lil wayne is here, los lonely boys are here, we'll be right back with willie nelson, live from austin, texas. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

you get 4 lines onw at&t's network...ilies including unlimited talk unlimited text ...and 10 gigs of data to share. 10 gigs? 10 gigs. all for $160 dollars a month. you know, i think our family really needed this. it's really gonna bring us closer together. yep. yep. yep. yep. yep. yep. introducing our best-ever family pricing for instance, a family of four gets 10 gigs of data with unlimited talk and text for 160 dollars a month. only from at&t.

it's red lobster's lobsterfest! all promotions! the year's largest selection of lobster entrees, like lobster lover's dream. hurry in and sea food differently. go to red lobster.com for ten dollars off with purchase of two lobsterfest entrees.

[ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: welcome back to our fifth and final night from austin, texas. this is a great town. austin is really a great town. if you get the chance to visit i cannot recommend it highly enough. the people are so friendly, the food is second to none and i might need to check into promises malibu when i get home. austin i will remember you fondly each time i cannot zip up my pants. i want to thank every one here at the long center and our local crew in austin for being great and letting us into this beautiful theater. does anyone want to buy 40 slightly used neon signs? [ cheers and applause ] actually, we are donating the signs to the austin music foundation and film society and if you go on ebay we're auctioning off five guitars signed by our guests each night

here in austin to benefit a great local charity i endorse wholeheartedly, called comfort the children, go to ebay, check that out and bid on those. [ cheers and applause ] tonight on the program, lil wayne is here. sitting in with the cletones are our pals los lonely boys and this is their cd called "l "revelation" see them live at the paradise in bochbt marston 19. next week in l.a. with howie mandel, zoey kravitz and music from enrique iglesias. please watch then. our first guest tonight is an 11-time grammy award winner, kennedy center honeoree, and possibly the greatest living texas, this is his new album called "all the girls," please

welcome willie neltsen! willie nelson! [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: i have to tell you -- you know those guys. thank you for coming. i will say that when somebody came up with the idea of us doing the show here in austin, i said we can into the do this show here without willie nelson. so, that was my number one priority. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you so much for making my vision board come true. >> i heard you said that and thank you very much. >> jimmy: i did say thatten a really meant that. you discovered these guys, los lonely boys, right? >> yeah. over by the river. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is a big week for

you and for the town because this is your town. there is a willie nelson street, there is a statue of here in town. willie nelson day is on 4-20, not coincidentally i assume. last night you have a ranch not too far from here you had a big party. a bunch of bands. >> heartbreaker banquet we call it. >> jimmy: who was invited to this party besides not me? [ laughter ] >> well, there were several bands there. my son lucas and son micah and some of the family we played there. on stage last night, i wasn't really aware of some folks, i saw jamie johnson and billy joe shaver. we had a good time. >> jimmy: a bunch of your buddies come out and play. how do you get everyone to leave your house at the end of the night? >> well, last night it wasn't a problem because the weather had just went down to about 30 degrees so everyone was kind of

anxious to get out thereof and we hated to see them leave. it was a good party. >> jimmy: mixed bag when you have people over your place, especially when -- you have fun during south by southwest? that's a great week for you? it's good for the town, good for music. this town is good for music. >> jimmy: why did you -- [ cheers and applause ] it's a great music town. >> it is. jimmy: largely i think because of your presence here. what drew you to this area? why did you come here? >> my sister bobbi lived here and i was coming back from nashville and i had to decide where to go to, houston or austin, i decided on austin, great decision. >> jimmy: was there a particular place here you would play? >> a couple of places. the armadillo world headquarters. >> jimmy: i heard of that. >> the broken spoke is still there. [ cheers and applause ] and silk creek saloon.

you remember that one? continental club. >> jimmy: i would imagine it was pretty different back then. it was -- you know, now a lot of college students here. it's a place that people come to vacation and have fun. you were probably playing in some pretty tough places back then. >> even back then it was still a college town, so we still had entirely different mentality here than we do maybe 20 miles north or south. >> jimmy: definitely different. was it rough, though, playing those country western bars at that time? >> i wouldn't know. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you are a black belt in taekwondo. when did you get your black belt in taekwondo? >> i got the black belt seven or eight years ago and then the second degree black belt.

>> jimmy: how did you get interested in that? >> i've been interested in things like that all of the way back to charles atlas and body building and bruce lee and kung fu in nashville and we would sign up kids and break a board or something. >> jimmy: that surprises me, the image of you, the smoke and all that -- were it not for the marijuana you might be chuck norris right now. you know? [ cheers and applause ] i have an album here, you were one of the first outlaw country artists, that was the label put on you but this frist 1969. and this is a real album. do you remember -- [ laughter ] do you remember the photo shoot for this? >> i remember her. >> jimmy: you remember her. how did that go? did you say -- was this your idea? >> it was going well at that point.

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: you had the putter out and everything. yeah. well, we're going to take a quick break. excited that you're here. willie nelson, i can't believe it, he's here. we'll be right back. inute, every second, we chip away. at advancing safety with technology, like seeing every curve, even when you don't, being a second set of eyes, or having stopping power when youn need it most. it's not intuition, it's intelligence. this is the new 2014 jeep grand cherokee. it is the best of what we're made of. well-qualified lessees can lease the 2014 grand cherokee laredo 4x4 for 359 a month.

[ female announcer ] if you're struggling with bipolar depression, there are treatment options. ask your doctor if once a day latuda, lurasidone hcl, may help you. in clinical studies, latuda has been shown to be effective for many people struggling with bipolar depression. latuda is not for everyone. call your doctor if you have unusual changes in mood, behaviors, or thoughts of suicide. antidepressants can increase these in children, teens, and young adults. elderly dementia patients taking latuda

have an increased risk of death or stroke. call your doctor if you have fever, stiff muscles and confusion, as these may be signs of a life-threatening reaction or if you have uncontrollable muscle movements, as these may become permanent. high blood sugar has been reported with latuda and medicines like it, and in some cases, extreme high blood sugar can lead to coma or death. other risks include decreases in white blood cells, which can be fatal, dizziness upon standing, seizures, increased cholesterol, weight gain, increased prolactin levels, impairment in judgment, or trouble swallowing. avoid grapefruit and grapefruit juice while taking latuda. use caution before driving or operating machinery. there are paths to treat bipolar depression. ask your doctor if once-a-day latuda for bipolar depression is right for you. ♪ for savings options, visit latuda.com.

♪ ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] delta touch2o technology for your kitchen and bathroom. precisely in tune with every touch. see what delta can do. everin a day is building up with every touch. layer, upon layer, of bacteria. and to destroy those layers? you need listerine®. its unique formula penetrates these layers deeper than other mouthwashes, killing bacteria all the way down to the bottom layer. so for a cleaner, healthier mouth,

go with #1 dentist recommended listerine®. power to your mouth™. also try new listerine® naturals. the only mouthwash that combines the power of listerine® with naturally sourced ingredients.

♪ >> jimmy: we're back with willie

nelson. lil wayne still to come. willie, the governor of your state, rick perry was here on tuesday. i thought this was very interesting, because he's been talking about decriminalizing marijuana here in the state. not legalizing it but decriminalizing it. >> that's good. >> jimmy: which is something. and he said one of the reasons that he's changed his mind on marijuana is because he sees you and he sees how sharp you are at your age and i'm not kidding, he really did say that. and that i don't know if that's a scientific test but he -- [ laughter ] i think they call it weeding by example is what it's called. i think that's interesting that you made that impression on him. >> well, i was glad to hear him come out and say what he said. i would like him to come on the bus and take a trip with us. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: that would be something special. rick perry comes out with a ponytail. i know that your buddy snoop dogg was here. you guys are friends. there is one obvious thing you have in common. what else do you and snoop dogg do together? >> well, you know, we have sung together. he sings on this song called "roll me up and smoke me when i die." >> jimmy: is there a chance that might happen? are you -- kree magcrea cremati that happen? >> if i die. >> jimmy: would you like be smoked by snoop? >> i might make another list here. no, that would be -- snoop is a good buddy and we've hung out together. first of all, he comes to

amsterdam, we hung out over there. >> jimmy: seems like a -- >> got very well acquainted there. >> jimmy: that seems like a fever dream. i was with snoop dogg and willie nelson in amsterdam, next thing i know i was under the bus. >> might have to meet up in colorado. >> jimmy: or perhaps washington. >> or maybe austin. >> jimmy: maybe austin. you come out and play something for us? >> sure. >> jimmy: that is beautiful. will willie nelson is here. that is his album, "to all the girls." we'll be right back with lil wayne. [ cheers and applause ]

>> let's throw a surprise party for the next person who walks into the port-a-potty. let's give them a port-a-party. >> that's a great idea. ♪ >> guillermo: go, go, go. >> surprise! [ cheers ] >> guillermo: what's your name? >> dennis. >> guillermo: this is your first port-a-party? tonight i'm striking up a conversation about cleaning bums.

you cannot short-change a clean bum. get ready for this. it's a wipe for your bum! so you do a bit of dry, and then a wet, and then a dry, and you're good to go. do you think they're for girls? i think they're for everyone. i need a clean alley, every time. nothing leaves you feeling cleaner and fresher than the cottonelle care routine. so let's talk about your bum on facebook. . hd 3. from the kung fu master. to...the stranger hugger. because every kind of fan loves 1 app and 2 entrees for 20 bucks. the 2 for $20 menu from applebee's. see you tomorrow.

and you said no phones. the vacation you've been looking for is here. come and take it, universal orlando. you get 4 lines onw at&t's network...ilies including unlimited talk unlimited text ...and 10 gigs of data to share. 10 gigs? 10 gigs. all for $160 dollars a month. you know, i think our family really needed this. it's really gonna bring us closer together. yep. yep. yep. yep. yep. yep. introducing our best-ever family pricing for instance, a family of four gets 10 gigs of data with unlimited talk and text for 160 dollars a month. only from at&t.

it's all your favorites and a whole lot more, like a 20-piece chicken mcnuggets -- just 5 bucks. more choices than ever before. that's the dollar menu and more. ♪ that's the dollar menu and more. do you really think... that when you've been set up accused and convicted ...a new car can put it all behind you? depends on the car. see the all-new 2015 ford mustang in need for speed. in theaters now. yothey also bring tough nasal than sneecongestion. hy eyes. so you need claritin-d. it combines the leading non-drowsy antihistamine with a powerful decongestant all in one pill.

so blow away nasal congestion fast with claritin-d.

♪ ♪ ♪ told ya you could do it. (dad vo) i want her to be safe. so, i taught her what i could and got her a subaru. (girl) piece of cake. ♪ (announcer) love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are back. still to come, music from willie nelson. our next guest has a shelf full of grammys and a smile you can see from space. newest el album is "young money rise of an empire." say hello to lil wayne! [ cheers and applause ] how are you doing? >> awesome. >> jimmy: good to see you. excited to have you and willie nelson on the show together. do you know each other? >> willie nelson, man. yeah. >> jimmy: do you know willie in. >> i just met him backstage. >> jimmy: first time you met

him? >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right. >> i love him, of course. >> jimmy: of course. you might have to visit the bus. [ laughter ] >> i heard about the bus. >> jimmy: you performed in austin a little bit. you accepted an award on behalf of drake. >> last night. >> jimmy: how were you treated in this city? >> i'm southern, i'm a southerner. like home. everybody from the south, everything in the south is home to us. it's not like we don't go and be like -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: but are people, do people go nuts when they see you? i would imagine you don't blend very well. >> no, i mean, just regular reaction. >> jimmy: can you go to shows? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you can? okay. you have had a chance to get out a little bit? >> when i got here, when i landed, first thing we did, wherever we went, it was a show.

[ laughter ] they were performing. i got to see that. i wanted to catch tyler the creator but he's going to perform another time this weekend >> jimmy: what's the craziest experience you had with a fan? i know you have had -- [ laughter ] -- notable. in your opinion, what is the craziest experience? >> i've been shot at by a female fan. >> jimmy: you have? all right, that's good. [ laughter ] what happened? >> it was after a show and she was just a very persistent fan. she was -- you know, just like, wanted -- we didn't know what she wanted. good thing we didn't figure it out. and she -- once we got on the road the bus driver was like those girls on the side of us. and just kept saying -- we weren't paying them no mind, we were hype, dancing. i stood up and gunshots went off and he was like "it was the

girls! it was the girls" he starts swerving and stuff. we were more upset with him, you going to kill us! >> jimmy: right. have you ever been shot? >> yeah, i have. >> jimmy: you have. who did it? >> i did, unfortunately. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: was there a disagreement? [ laughter ] >> it was actually -- yeah, man. >> jimmy: you got to tell me what happened. where did it happen? >> i was like, i think it was 14. i was in the crib, in the house. i was watching, i can remember it was notorious b.i.g. ♪ i love it when you call me big pop ♪ i remember that. you dig.

and my -- trying to be in the mirror, tripping, digging. it went off and when it went off i guess, i woke up to the knocks of the police at the door. >> jimmy: wow. >> and so db -- i was in my mom's room, kind of far from the door. i was in the other room. so i heard them start knocking. i'm like, they'll laugh at me. you know i live in the hood, for the police, like two knox, all right. i gathered myself and i slid on my own blood. i slid -- because we had wooden floors, thank god. we had no carpet. i used the floor. true story. i slid on my blood and i kicked the door and they heard me kick the door and they opened. >> jimmy: you were looking at yourself in the mirror --

>> no, looking at the damn video in the mirror. i should have been looking at myself. >> jimmy: i was shot by a guy that looks just like me! [ laughter ] i'm glad you're all right. >> me, too. >> jimmy: new album, compilation. will you be signing new artists while you're here? no? >> actually, i just had a show and a female asked to rap for me. >> jimmy: you sit there and tolerate that when people do it? has that ever worked? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. i hope she doesn't shoot you. [ laughter ] lil wayne, everybody. young money, rise of the empire. we'll be right back with willie nelson and family. [ cheers and applause ]

>> celebrate the trip to austin and bid on the guitars, autographed by each night's guests including lady gaga and willie nelson. all proceeds will benefit comfort the children international. go to e bay.com/kimmel in austin to bid now.

>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel concert series is presented by at&t. rethink possible. >> jimmy: i want to thank lil wayne, thank los lonely boys, i want to apologize matt damon, we ran out of time. i want to thank everyone in austin who came out to see us. we'll miss you terribly. "nightline" is next. to cap off our week in texas in the best possible way. here with the song, willie

nelson and family! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ roll me up and smoke me when i die ♪ ♪ if anyone don't like it look them in the eye ♪ ♪ i didn't come here and ain't leaving so don't sit around and cry ♪ ♪ just roll me up and smoke me when i die ♪ ♪ now you won't see no sad and teary eyes ♪ ♪ i'll get my wings and it's my time to fly ♪ ♪ there's a party come on by ♪ just roll me up and smoke me when i die ♪ ♪ roll me up and smoke me when i die ♪ ♪ and if anyone don't like it look them in the eye ♪

♪ didn't come here and i ain't leaving so don't sit around and cry ♪ just roll me up and smoke me when i die ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ take me out and build a roaring fire ♪ ♪ roll me in the flames for about an hour ♪

♪ take me out and twist me up and point me toward the sky ♪ ♪ and just roll me up and smoke me when i die ♪ ♪ roll me up and smoke me when i die ♪ and if anyone don't like it look them in the eye ♪ ♪ didn't come here and ain't leaving so don't sit around and cry ♪ ♪ just roll me up and smoke me when i die ♪ ♪ didn't come here and i ain't leaving so you don't sit around and cry ♪ ♪ roll me up and smoke me when i die ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ]

tonight on "nightline," breaking news. the malaysian prime minister has just announced they're now convinced that the unusual movements of flight 370 were the result of deliberate action by someone on the plane. toddler wannabes. competing for gigs as little versions of everyone from katy perry to jennifer lawrence. inside the world of celebrity mini m's and their quest for fame. >> i'm leaning toward this girl. >> what it really means for the parents and their kids. picture this. you post innocent photos of