begins at 4:30 tomorrow morning. >> right now on "jimmy kimmel live", actor jason bateman live", actor jason bateman vichlt a good night everyone. >> from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- jason bateman. from "scandal", katie lowes. this week in unnecessary censorship. and music from john legend. with cleto and the cletones. and now, fare not, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: thank you all for coming. i appreciate that. very nice. you know you can't sleep over, right? okay, okay. president obama was at the vatican today. did you know that? he had his first meeting with pope francis. it was a casual meeting. there they are. not an official business. they spoke privately for about an hour and grabbed lunch at the cheesecake factory. it's traditional for world leards to exchange gifts when they meet for the first time. and the pope and obama did that. the cope gave the if the a cop /his book and two medallions. the pope gave him seeds from the vegetable garden. he said great, my favorite. what is the pope going to do with seeds? everybody gives the pope a symbolic gift. if i met the pope, i would give him an xbox. something fun, having fun.

this is pretty spectacular. a woman was driving down state road 41 in tampa on monday. apparently there's a guy tailgating her in his truck. there was an exchange of unpleasantries. she took out her phone to start recording the guy. you can see he pulls up beside her and we had to plur burr it but he gives her the finger, which is not very gentlemanly. and then he speeds off. and watch what happens next here. he -- [ applause ] >> got that on video! >> jimmy: he spun out on a slick patch of karma, i think. are you familiar with lulu lemon? okay. this is the company that makes yoga pants that are so tight they cut off circulation to the part of your brain that decides

how much money is okay to spen on yoga pants. there's a lot of controversy with these pants. a lot of schools are banning them because they're causing male students to go through puberty prematurely. they're very, very tight. every generation has a sort of thing. there's a time back in the '50s, you couldn't even show an ankle in school. and then there were mini skirts and tube tops. and just when you thought it couldn't go any further. lulu lemon has come up with something even more revealing than the yoga pants they already sell. >> performance, comfort, luxury. introducing lulu lemon's newest line of apparel. spray on yoga pants. for only $1,200 per go ahead, enjoy the lightweight flexibility of paint. wear them everywhere. casual friday at the office. >> hey, guys.

it the unique formula is perfect for the board room. >> see you at the meeting. >> and of course, you can even wear them to know go ahead. when they spray on, they stay on. lulu lemon pledge. [ bleep ] because the best pants are no pants at all. sc johnson. >> jimmy: by the way, i was thinking about it, lulu lemon would make a great celebrity baby name. wouldn't it? the sweet 16 round of the ncaa tournament began today. after the sweet 16, there's the elite eight then the final four then the hometown visits and finally one lucky team will get to spend the rest of their lives with juan pablo. is that how it goes? the tournament has been even more unpredictable. there's always a cinderella story. frankly, i'm tired of it.

can't we have an aladdin story this year. maybe a toy story story. what i'm trying to say is let's mix it up. how are you doing with your ncaa bracket? >> guillermo: not too good. >> jimmy: who do you have in the final? >> guillermo: michigan stam i h village and michigan state. >> jimmy: let's rewind to the first one. what? >> guillermo: i have lewis village and michigan state. >> jimmy: you have lewis village? where is that? >>. >> guillermo: i have no idea. >> jimmy: is it the village where lewis lives? >> guillermo: i don't know. i just picked lewis village. >> jimmy: well, that's maybe the best one ever. congratulations. >> guillermo: and michigan state. >> jimmy: maybe we're abbrevi e abbreviating it.

the e network has a new show on the horizon and you're not going to believe it. it stars some of the kardashians. how can there be more kardashian shows than there are kardashians. and how many more cities can they take? kardashians have taken so many cities now, pbs is even running a documentary about it. >> their mission is clear, the limitless expansion of power at any cost. united by a common hunger for glory and the relentless leadership of general ryan seacrest, the tribe started taking land. first los angeles, then miami, next, new york. then the hamptons. >> i remember when they took miami like it was yesterday. and the big one trampled my pomeranian. >> their furious march for

domination continued, taking town after town. basketball player after basketball player. until the kanye west was won. coming up, letters from the kardashian matriarch. one woman's brave fight for her family. the kardashian conquest. the taking of america, only on pbs. >> jimmy: the race for mayor of toronto is really starting to heat up. last night the candidates had a debate on city tv. tonight they participated in a forum at rierson yufrlt. th university. most of the focus was on mayor rob ford. students were booing mayor ford, but he stood his ground and hit them with a lot of tough questions. he didn't crack. you understand that? what i found most interesting is

that sometimes i talk too fast, i'm sorry. there are around 40 mostly unknown candidates running for mayor in toronto. so city news invited all of them and this will explain why i said rob ford looked like jfk compared to some of the other candidates he's running against. >> first of all, if i become a mayor, i can guarantee i won't screw up the city because i'm too lazy to do anything. >> i'm a dominatri. i stand for discipline and respect. >> we have one more candidate. al gore. you have some thoughts about the police force, too, daniel? >> yes, i would like to get rid of the horses. >> jimmy: but what if they're high horses? that's some group. a lazy guy, a dominatrix, the pot head and al kwogore. you're all welcome to dress as superheroes out on hollywood boulevard. before we go any further, it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur

things where wl they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> yesterday another special meeting, this time with a local north hills girls with big [ bleep ]. >> i'm ready to sit on my [ bleep ] and i've had it. >> everybody can talk about [ bleep ] you've all had an opportunity to do it. i have done it. >> i'm guessing the guys are pretty [ bleep ] up tonight including yourself. >> i'm pretty [ bleep ] up. >> 25 husbands [ bleep ] your wives. >> this is the story for the folks who take a [ bleep ] after work. >> [ bleep ]. >> oh, yeah. >> the village is sucking the [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. >> our president has decided to [ bleep ] from behind. >> after completing training, we [ bleep ] and we're loving life. >> do you ever [ bleep ]. >> some dribbled into my shoe, yeah.

>> you can't consider that [ bleep ], can you? >> nothing gives me more joy than [ bleep ]. i can't wait to [ bleep ] my next student. >> hello. >> okay, you were [ bleep ] a rabbit? >> yes. >> you were [ bleep ] a rabbit. >> yes. >> you do you know how big a [ bleep ] is? >> yes. >> jimmy: guillermo in our new edition of his entertainment news show called "mucho." jason bateman, katie lowes and music from john legend, too. i'm sticking around.

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>> welcome back. jason bateman, katie lowes and john legend are here tonight. around schwarzenegger's movie career hasn't been going gang gust busters so he's trying to connect to a new audience. i love it when very white people are on 106 and park trying to fit in and try the governator did by attempting a dance called the nene. >> this is a new dance all the kids are doing. it's ca it's called the nene. >> what do you call it? >> the nene. >> hand up. >> jimmy: look how happy he is.

the action movies don't work out, maybe he could be in the next "step up" movie. and since you're already teaching arnold schwarzenegger how to do the nene, you would be remisif while you were at it you didn't teach him the stanky leg, too. >> what is the stanky leg. >> i got you. i got you. you ready? >> i can't do it. >> you just did it. >> jimmy: mark my words, everyone leaves that studio pregnant. everyone. here in hollywood, celebrity news breaks 24 hours a day. there's no rest. and we are fortunate enough to have the number one entertainment reporter in all the world to keep us up to date

on everything that's going on. his name is guillermo, and it's time for "mucho." >> tonight on "mucho" trash talk. what channing tatum's recycling bin. and did zoe deschanelle get bangs on her bangs? plus is this a bear or heidi klum? it's a bear. and game of therons. what in the world is charlize doing with this stick? and the interview with katie lowes gets explosive. kaboom! plus a look inside taylor swift's first microwave. yucky! all this and mucho mas. we are live from the hollywood and highland center. the mall. >> hi, everyone. and welcome to mucho. i'm guillermo. thanks so much.

there's a lot happening in hollywood today. jimmy kimmel, are you ready to rock and roll? y >> jimmy: yes, i'm ready to rock and roll. >> text 1 to say he's ready. text 2 to say no, he's a poser. and now it's time for my interview with "scandal" katie lowes. it's over there. hello, katie lowes from the hit show scandal. is the sex on the show real sex? >> no, it's just acting. >> scandal! >> jimmy: i tell you what, that was some interview, guillermo. >> i know, and that's not all. there's much more to come. look over there. it's sneaky peeks. now it's time for sneaky peeks with katie lowes.

roll the clip. >> i have never -- >> katie, what are you thinking right there? >> actually i -- >> that's great. now back to you. that sound can only mean one thing. you've been pulled over by the fashion police. whew! whew! >> puh-leeze. you call those pants? puh-leeze. >> jimmy: i have to say that's not very nice what you're saying. >> guillermo: oh, don't be a baby. speaking of baby, againgwynn sti just had a baby. it's time to play whose baby is this?

seriously, whose baby is this? anyone? >> mucho. >> guillermo: wow, that's it for now. tune in next time for my ultimate list it's going to be so stupid. until next time, i'm guillermo and this is mucho! >> jimmy: tonight on the show from scandal, katie lowes is here. music from john legend. we'll be back with jason bateman!

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>> jimmy: tonight on the show -- every thursday night here on abc, you can see her work a power drill in unspeakable ways. from "scandal", katie lowes is here. and then -- his album is called -- "love in the future." we have music from john legend. you can see john live on his "all of me" tour.

our first guest tonight has grown up before our adoring eyes. he is a very talented white person who is the director and star of a very funny new movie. it's called "bad words" and it opens everywhere tomorrow. please welcome, jason bateman. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: first of all, i want to say that i saw your movie which we're going to talk about in a little while.

it's really great. you did such a good job of starring in and directing the film. but i know this is a big weekend for you. not only is it a movie opening, it's opening day for baseball. opening night for baseball. >> we asked the major league baseball people to move that. they were unresponsive. >> jimmy: you're, like, a huge dodgers fan. >> yeah. so it's going to be very, very big for me. i'm going to go to opening day the next day, i'm going to go to that game, too. and they've asked me to be the pa announcer. the guy who usually does it, he's got some other gig or something. i jumped at the chance. i don't know whether they want me -- i'm not a stand up.

i can't imagine that they want you to fool around. why ask some sort of soup celebrity to do the play by play work. >> jimmy: first, calling yourself a pseudocelebrity reflects poorly on me. but they see you're a real fan. i see you at the games and i think, i will never go to a game with this guy because you're very serious. you're listening to the play by play alone. it seems like going to the game alone. or with a very old man. >> it's dangerous inviting a really big dodger fan to be the pa announcer. especially we're playing the giants. so i said to them we had a preliminary call, you know, about they wanted to run down how it was going to go. you know, not that complicated. but i said, well, you know, i want to manage your

expectations. what are you expecting me to do? do you want me to be funny because i can't imagine that the dodgers would want me to do anything other than now batting number, you know, and they said well, no, just kind of play it straight. but i mean, if you want to -- i said well, let's be clear. i mean, because i don't want to get us in trouble here. because if a giant hits a in the first inning and he comes up to bat in the third inning. i'm liable to pop off a little bit. now batting,er the worst hair in baseball. >> jimmy: they didn't okay that? >> they said let me check with the giants. well, this might be a time to put the giants on the spot and say if you've got a sense of humor, san francisco giant, you will not censor jason bateman, you will allow him to say whatever he wants. >> i don't think it's going to

happen. >> jimmy: i couldn't even get the audience behind me and they're here. are you going to try to sound like a stadium announcer. >> i think so. i should be kmeedically straight about it. dead serious, humorless, as severe -- >> jimmy: absolutely not. you should be weird. >> fi'm watching the game and some pseudocelebrity is doing the pa, i don't want to -- >> jimmy: you're not watching the game. you're the guy. >> let's say you were doing it, okay? a major celebrity doing pa work. and i'm down there in my seat and i'm trying to enjoy the game and old jimmy is up there doing a bunch of funny crap. i would say buddy, it's not about you. so i -- >> jimmy: now you're trying to talk yours into and out of this at the same time. >> i'm cancelling. >> jimmy: there's no backup. there's not like another pa announcer waiting in the wings.

you think so? >> that press box is filled with people who know how to read a scoreca scorecard. >> jimmy: but they're the media, they are not allowed to get involved in the game. you can do whatever you want. just think about it. just go oh, i just saw a ufo. that would be good. think about it. are you a baseball player, did you play much? >> i played a little bit, jimmy. i'm not a super gifted athlete. i mean, i was up until about 12. i was pretty tiptop. but then computatietition got a little intense. and i actually held the record for most times striking out laughing in high school. >> jimmy: really? >> i would get down in the count and i know the guy is going to bring the cheese and i would just kind of start laughing. >> jimmy: you may have a problem as a pa announcer. do you play in those, like, celebrity games. >> i did. i did a couple of time, yeah. and the cheesy celebrity games,

i am incredible. i had an inside-the-park home run in donler stadium three years ago. tony danza was pitching. he was just throwing, you know, meatballs up there. >> jimmy: well, he's italian. >> i didn't eechb thiven think . i was accidentally funny there. good pun. i streak stroekstroked it past lou farigno. >> jimmy: really? you made the hulk run. >> he has the kind of legs that you think could run, but they had to get around each other. and i made it home. we're going to see a clip from "bad words." jason bateman is here. we'll be right back.

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>> you don't have any friends. you sound like a real loser. you flirt with the women. >> no. >> no girlfriend for you. you can't get your shrimp tandora. >> nope. when i do get one, i'm going to get one with nipples. >> they all have nipples.

>> they don't. >> they do. >> no, they don't. >> all right. i don't know how i missed that. >> jimmy: jason bateman "bad words." that kid is adorable. he was here last week. >> he's very sweet. >> jimmy: and you gave him the thrill of his life with the whole nipples thing. >> i later proved to him that women do have nipples. this is an r-rated film, gang. >> jimmy: tell us a little bit about the movie. >> part of the movie is these two end up becoming kind of buddies. it's not soft like that, but it's -- i play a very nasty guy. a guy who's had hids feelings hurt and he's not really as well equipped as we are to deal with something like that. he lashes out and crashes a kid's spelling bee. he reluctantly becomes friends with this little turd and he --

his way of bonding with a kid is to do things that maybe you or i would not do. but it is in a great spirit. >> jimmy: yes, yes. it is, for sure. and well, i don't want to give anything away, but you do find a woman to prove the nipples thing to him. >> we do. we did. and so it is educational. we found this great actress who plays a prostitute. >> jimmy: how do you go through the casting process for that. where you're telling -- do you explain in advance that you'll be showing -- >> jimmy, it's expensive. the theory of shots afterwards, it's expensive. >> jimmy: is there a pool of actresses that you know will not be offended when you ask them to show their breasts to a 10-year-old? >> no.

we -- i wanted to skstcast a re life prostitute in the part. >> jimmy: why? >> well, the movie is not some down the middle generic studio company. this is a pretty raw and -- i wanted some authenticity there. so the cast director put some feelers out for some prostitutes. >> jimmy: how does a casting director go about putting feelers out for prostitutes? >> i didn't ask. it didn't yield a lot of great candidates, no. so we did go to some strippers. we did get some of them in the audience. and not great auditions o s out them. but i did drive out without any singles in my wallet. and then we went to talented actresses that could pull it off in an authentic way, kimley smith. >> jimmy: she did a great job. >> and the kid was cool with it, his parents were cool with it. they understood that it was --

>> jimmy: well, the kid was very cool with it. >> he was very cool with it. >> jimmy: the parents, though, were cool with it? >> yeah, dad was there. >> jimmy: what a coincidence. >> he had a real nice seat for that thing. >> jimmy: mom wasn't there for that one? >> mom is still in new york. but she had us on speed dial all night. >> jimmy: dad carved out a little time for that shoot there. >> he wasn't in the trailer for that scene. >> jimmy: you do a trick that i heard about. i would like you to do if you wouldn't mind. i want to learn how to do it also. how many pieces of gum does this require? >> just one, everybody. we got to get it pliable in the mouth as quickly as possible. >> jimmy: by chewing it? >> combining saliva with it. >> jimmy: i want to point out while we're chewing the gum, the movie poster for bad words. what word are you about to say here? >> funny movie. that's pretty clear. >> jimmy: i think it is.

by the way, thank you to focus for letting us do that poster. it is not -- >> jimmy: you were saying focus. >> it's not a typical poster, but the reason it's like that is to let you know, to set the table properly. it is a left of center film, but ultimately incredibly redemocratredemptive at the end. it is. i don't have a name for this trick. but it was taught to me when i was a little kid. there's a sex joke in here somewhere but i don't want to do it. so what you want to do is pucker your lips and you want to -- >> jimmy: do i make it into a ball? >> sorry. nice tight round ball. we're building towards a punch line. and then you do this. i hope this works.

>> jimmy: wow. wow. you know what, the force is with you. jason bateman, his movie is called bad words. we'll be right back with katie lowes. portions of jimmy kimmel live are brought to you by captain morgan's white rum. please drink responsibly. just about do it. excuse me, what are you doing? uh, well we are fine tuning these small cells that improve coverage, capacity and quality of the network. it means you'll be able to post from the breakroom.

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>> jimmy: our next guest plays one of most unhinged characters on one of the most unhinged shows in the history of both television and hinges.

she plays the tortured and torturing quinn perkins on "scandal" which airs thursdays at 10 here on abc. please say hello to katie lowes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: can i give you some gum? >> i tried to do it and my jaw is killing me. that's an amazing trick. i can touch my tongue to my nose. that's about it. that's all i've got. >> jimmy: that means you have a long tongue or a big nose, i guess. you don't have a big nose, so you must have a long tongue. >> i think maybe i could pick my nose but nobody wants to see that. with the turng right? tongue, right? >> jimmy: we'll do it online. do you know jason bateman, by

the way? >> i actually do. i catered an event that jason bateman was at and eating dinner. i served him dinner and i bussed it away. >> jimmy: does he know that? >> he probably wouldn't remember. but he was really nice to me. >> jimmy: he was? >> that counts for something. >> jimmy: you could have let loose. >> i do. no, he was nice. >> jimmy: i think last time you were here, you had more job thans craigslist as i recall. you had a million different jojob s. >> i've been a caterer, waitress, baby-sitter. but some of those jobs they do pay off. i used to baby-sit for the head of disney animation casting. >> jimmy: that's important. shoutout to jamie roberts. but she actually asked me to come in and work on this little small movie, you may have heard of called "frozen." >> jimmy: oh, yes, i have heard

of that. this is pretty crazy, actually. >> jimmy: how did it come to be. >> the pretty was pretty much locked. they take a long time to make. but she asked me to come in and do all the physical movements for idina manzel's big song. ♪ let it go let it go ♪ do you know that song. >> jimmy: you mean the physical movements? >> you're creating ice sculpt e sculptures with her hands. >> jimmy: it's based on human movements. >> me. me. >> jimmy: let's see. ♪ let it go ♪ let it go ♪ let it go >> jimmy: i want to see you do. >> that's you, huh? >> that's me. you know, it's a lot of the hand motions. but my personal favorite is when

she's like here i stand, with her foot. or when she takes her hair down and she kind of struts, struts, struts before she says ♪ the cold never bothered me anyway ♪ that part. >> jimmy: that's pretty amazing. how did he know you would be good at that. >> they were looking for a normal person who wasn't a dancer per se. someone who could just be a normal girl who happened to have this crazy talent that she can do crazy ice cold things. me! >> jimmy: if that doesn't describe you in a nutshell i don't know what does. with i went from there to shooting "scandal" and, like, literally torturing a dude. so that's a week of my life. >> jimmy: really? with the power drill? >> yeah. those are the things that i'm doing for my job. it's the greatest ever. >> jimmy: you got is a lot of range. that's what they say.

your husband was on cscandal. is he involved in the show? >> he is. he's a gladiator, we call them. he's a huge gladiator. he watches a ton of scandal and sports. like a ton of sports. he watches a lot of basketball. >> jimmy: why are you saying it like that. does he watch too much sports? >> he watches -- i love you, adam. but he watches a lot of sports. i actually just reaped the benefit of his sport watching because he won his fantasy football league. so he got money with his co-owner. so they decided to take their wives out for a night on the town. and they got this stretch limousine and we got a lobster dinner and went to the santa monica pier and went on the ferris wheel and slowly rolled out pictures to the losers.

>> jimmy: he took the money that he won and then spent it on you. by the way, your husband is a genius. i don't know if you're aware of that. he's a diabolical genius. >> and now i'm like watch it, watch it, you better win. >> jimmy: spend all your time doing that. >> i mean, i don't want to think about if he doesn't win next year. somebody in the team is going to try to outdo us and have an even et ber night. >> jimmy: you know the odds are he's not going to win every single year. but what he purchased now is you being very patient with him while he goes through 16 weeks -- >> march madness or whatever. sports. >> jimmy: he's doing march madness now also? >> yeah. sports are on in my house all day or all night or "scandal." >> jimmy: it sound in a way like you have a gambling problem. even though you're not actually gamble, yeah. speaking of "scandal" this is a sneak peek from -- i've been

told there's no point in even attempting to set this clip up. >> it's 'scandal" you know? >> jimmy: this is next week. >> i have never -- >> i mean, making a pass, right in who else have you dated? >> well, there's jesse. >> why did you and jesse break up. >> he died in an explaegosioexp. >> and there's gideon. also dead, scissors. and now you. who else have you dated. >> i don't date people. except for you. you're special. >> jimmy: he's a little freaky. he's a little freaky. >> okay. okay. >> jimmy: by the way, it takes a lot to tell him, oh, the untimely deaths of your other -- >> jimmy: then he somehow turns it around and makes it even

creepier from his stand point. >> i know. maybe he'll be the boyfriend that lives. you'll have to tune in to see. >> jimmy: the boyfriend that lives. it's very good to see you. >> so good to see you. >> jimmy: we'll be right back with john legend.

>> jimmy: i'd like to thank jason bateman, katie lowes, and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. nightline is next, but first, his album is called "love in the future." here with the song "all of me", john legend. ♪ what would i do without your smart mouth drawing me in and you kicking me out you've got my head spinning no kidding i can't pin you

down ♪ ♪ what's going on in that beautiful mind i'm on your magical mystery ride and i'm so dizzy don't know what hit me but i'll be alright ♪ ♪ my head's under water but i'm breathing fine you're crazy and i'm out of my mind ♪ ♪ 'cause all of me loves all of you love your curves and all your edges all your perfect imperfections ♪ ♪ give your all to me i'll give my all to you

you're my end and my beginning even when i lose i'm winning ♪ ♪ 'cause i give you all of me and you give me all of you oh-oh ♪ ♪ how many times do i have to tell you even when you're crying you're beautiful too the world is beating you down i'm around through every mood ♪ you're my downfall you're my muse my worst distraction my rhythm and blues i can't stop singing it's ringing in my head for you ♪ ♪ my head's under water but i'm breathing fine you're crazy and i'm out of my mind ♪ ♪ 'cause all of me loves all of you love your curves and all your edges

all your perfect imperfections ♪ ♪ give your all to me i'll give my all to you you're my end and my beginning even when i lose i'm winning ♪ ♪ 'cause i give you all of me and you give me all of you oh-oh ♪ ♪ give me all of you ♪ cards on the table we're both showing hearts risking it all

>> tonight on "nightline," how far would you go to look like an a-lister? two women, multiple plastic surgeries and four weeks to pull off a very extreme makeover. she wants to look like michelle rodriguez. >> she's bad, she's beautiful. >> she wants to look like jennifer lawrence. >> people started comparing me to her. >> but after all of this, will it pay off? burning bridges. today in an abc news exclusive interview, diane sawyer goes head to head with new jersey governor chris christie about that controversial report clearing him in the bridge scandal. >> i feel like i let people down. >> what he says about the lessons learned and his political future.