all the mobile device was our 7 news app. next newscast 4:30 tomorrow morning. >> right now on jimmy kimmel >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, johnny depp, from "mad men" jessica paré, wiz khalifa, and music from chuck e. weiss, with cleto and the cletones -- and now, how many times must i tell you, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you very much. thank you. i'm jimmy.

i'm the host of the show. thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for watching. you're very nice. i want to share something with you. a little insight on what goes on backstage before we go on. there's a guy named josh backstage. he's the stage manager. right? and he -- the curtains open, he yells, "go." [ laughter ] i've done like a thousand shows. i know when to go. dicky says my name, i go. it's very simple. [ laughter ] well, thank you for watching on this night of college basketball and drew carey in dance pants. i don't know who won because the game is being played right now, but a surprising match-up. 7th seeded connecticut played 8th seeded ken. they say this is the most unlikely college basketball final since the tournament expanded to 64 teams in 1985. neither team was expected to do much of anything. so if you won your office pool, congratulations, knowing nothing about college basketball finally paid off. [ laughter ]

guillermo, if wisconsin had won, you would have won our office pool, right? >> yeah. i lost for one point. >> jimmy: yeah, you did. [ laughter [ laughter ] que lastima, right? >> that's right. >> jimmy: why did you pick wisconsin? was it your love of cheese? >> yeah, that's right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, wisconsin lost on a last-second three-pointer, won the game. wildcat fans watching back home in kentucky were so fired up, they literally fired things up. thousands of people rushed out into the streets of lexington and set fires. police showed up in riot gear. it was mostly under control, but there were fireworks and there were fires. there were people -- a good way to avoid doing laundry is to take off your shirt and swing it over your head. it freshens it right up. some people set their couches on fire. which has turned into kind of a post-sporting event tradition. how does that work? if you burned your koiccouch, f the next game there's nowhere to sit. [ laughter ] you're on the floor going, why

did we burn our couch? sounds like a conspiracy perpetrated by the louisville ikea. [ laughter ] this is pretty funny. in the middle of all the madness this kid took a selfie with a police officer. [ applause ] someone took a picture of him taking the picture. meanwhile, while the final four was happening here in america, on saturday in toronto the maple leafs played the jets. but the focus was not on hockey. it was on toronto mayor rob ford. he was at the game, as is often the case. mayor ford was swarmed by people wanting to take pictures with him, which caused a commotion. and then the mayor tried to escape into a vip room but was turned away because they said the room was being used for a private event. >> [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: he sweated more watching that game than the maple leafs did playing that game. [ laughter ] isn't it like 40 degrees in

toronto? how is he sweating that much? so anyway, he had to flee the air canada center before the game ended. he was mobbed again outside. one guy outside pulled an interesting move. i don't know how -- why or who, anything, but since rob ford didn't have any security with him, some guy on the street appointed himself to serve as the mayor's escort. >> i can't see. >> the mayor was ushered through the crowd by a leafs fan acting as an impromptu bodyguard. ford's fast friend was bulldozing through media, even deflecting questions on the mayor's behalf. >> were you drinking at the game tonight? >> huh? >> were you drinking at the game? was mayor ford drinking at the game? >> let's get out of here. >> to escape the crowd ford darted across the street into oncoming traffic and then hopped in a cab with his new pal.

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: the mayor made a friend. [ cheers and applause ] nice. and they lived happily ever after. you know, if you watch this show, even if you watch this show once a month, you know i'm completely in love with mayor rob ford. i want to know everything about him. so you can imagine how excited i am about this new documentary one of the canadian cable channels is running. >> discovery canada presents a rare glimpse at one of nature's most powerful and voracious predators. the great white ford. [ laughter ] savage. cunning. >> mayor ford, please stop disrupting. >> and exceedingly sweaty. perfectly built for harsh winter climates, the ford has a thick, beefy hide to both insulate him from the elements and provide cushion when he falls.

>> ten hut! >> or charges. >> [ bleep ]. >> subsisting primarily on fermented hops, the ford spends much of his life inebriated, sometimes resulting in erratic and often aggressive behavior. >> i want his [ bleep ] eyes out. >> in the spring the ford does an elaborate mating dance. but once he has chosen a suitable partner, the coupling is quick and violent. up next -- the real reason why the ford never hibernates. >> i smoke some crack sometimes. >> the great white ford. only on discovery canada. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: quite a body of work. we have -- oh, we've got quite a show for you tonight.

from "mad men" jessica pare is with us. chuck e. weiss. you remember that song chucky's in love? that was about him. he was in love. i'm not sure if he still is. i'll ask him. and the great johnny depp is here. [ cheers and applause ] the last time johnny depp was here he kissed me. not once. not twice. but thrice. right on the mouth. [ cheers and applause ] so you can imagine how upset i was when i found out he got engaged, and to a woman no less. [ laughter ] i'm going to confront him about that when he gets out here. it will be like an old episode of "jerry springer." we'll also try something interesting tonight. have you ever been to a concert where there's someone standing on stage doing sign language along with the singer? i don't know why this would surprise me. but it did. they do it at hip-hop shows too. the sign language interpreters go on stage and they sign along with the lyrics, even the potentially offensive lyrics. and some of them really get into

it. like this woman we found working a kendrick lamar concert. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] so that one is named amber. we invited amber and two other interpreters to do our show to compete in the first ever sign language rap battle. it's going to be preposterous. and oh, we have a special guest rapper, too, tonight. by the way, we found out that when a person curses using sign language on television you have to blur their hands. [ laughter ] for real. like you would bleep a bad word. so if you're watching at home, get ready to see nothing. [ laughter ] the fourth season of the show "game of thrones" premiered last night on hbo. [ cheers and applause ] i enjoy the show. i don't usually care for blood or violence but i love it, i watch it every sunday night without fail. last night's episode, picked

right up where they -- >> i'm sorry. jimmy. i'm sorry. hold on a second. spoiler alert. i mean, not all of us are caught up. so. >> all right. i wasn't -- i didn't really spoil anything. but you should catch up because it's good -- anyway, last night we got to see the dragons and the drag oons are almost -- >> what, dragons? game of thrones has dragons? spoiler alert, man. >> that would be like saying "breaking bad" is about a guy who cooks meth. >> hold on. "breaking bad" is about a guy who cooks meth? spoiler alert, dude! come on. i'm only on season 2. >> jimmy: well, i'm pretty sure he started in -- not only season 1 but i think it was the first episode. if you could sit down. >> you ruined the whole show for me. you ruined it all. >> jimmy: i can't help it if it takes you forever. this is america. we have something called freedom of speech here. >> this is america? [ laughter ] you spoiler son of a bitch!

>> jimmy: where did you think we were? >> i don't know. i don't live in a map. [ laughter ] but you -- you just spoiled america for me. >> jimmy: i'm very sorry. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: i should mention that darth vader is luke's father. so i won't mention that and i won't mention batman is bruce wayne -- >> no, no don't -- aaah! spoiler! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nobody tell him barbara walters is retiring. [ laughter ] as i was trying to say, "game of thrones" started using some interesting promotional tactics to get word out about the show. ratings last night were huge. it was the most watched show on hbo since the finale of "the sopranos," partly in thanks to creative marketing campaigns like this. >> "game of thrones" is back. >> bridge me one of those chickens. >> and kfc is celebrating with deals that can feed the hound. eight pieces of the colonel's

famous chicken, any recipe. >> i think i'll take two chickens. >> or add a second chicken and a side of our mashed potatoes and gravy, coleslaw and biscuits. >> you're going to have to eat every [ bleep ] chicken in this room. >> or try our every [ bleep ] chicken in this room deal. all this for 19.99. >> you're going to die for some chickens? >> someone is. >> the kfc "game of thrones" meal deal. now available dragon grilled. >> jimmy: mm. [ cheers and applause ] we're going to take a break, but we'll be right back with our sign language rap battle, plus johnny depp, jessica pare, and music from chuck e. weiss, too. so stay precisely where you are. we'll be right back. salesgets up to 795 highwayal is the passamiles per tank.sel

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. johnny depp, jessica pare from "mad men," and music from chuck e. weiss is up next. but first, i want to introduce you to three very talented women. please welcome holly maniani. that's holly. and amber galaway gallego. each of these women is a nationally certified sign language interpreter. and even more importantly, they have fun with it. thank you for being here. now, collectively they have signed for wu-tang clan, beastie boys, snoop dogg, eminem, lil' wayne, and many more. but tonight you're not doing this alone. tonight this is a competition. tonight each of you will take turns signing the song "black and yellow." and it is time now for a sign language rap battle.

[ cheers and applause ] tonight's interpretee, wiz khalifa. wiz, come on out. [ cheers and applause ] thanks for being here. >> how are you? >> jimmy: i should ask you, have you been part of a sign language rap battle before? >> yeah. yeah. sure. >> jimmy: will you clean up the lyrics for this particular event? >> no. >> jimmy: you will not. good. perfect. are you ready, wiz? >> sure. >> jimmy: are you ready, ladies? you're going to go one at a time you're going to compete. it's going to be great. i leave it to you guys. holly, step forward. you are first. wiz, take it away. here we go. ♪ yeah, uh-huh ♪ you know what it is ♪ everything i do i do it big ♪ yeah, uh-huh, screaming that's nothing ♪ ♪ what i pulled off the lot, that's stunting ♪ ♪ repping my town, when you see

me you know everything ♪ ♪ black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow ♪ ♪ i put it down from the whip to my diamonds, i'm in black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow ♪ ♪ black stripe, yellow point, these [ bleep ] scared but them ain't ♪ ♪ soon as i hit the club look at them face ♪ ♪ hit the pedal once make the floor shake ♪ ♪ suede insides my engine roaring ♪ ♪ it's the big boy, you know what i paid for it ♪ ♪ yeah, and i got the pedal to the metal ♪ ♪ got you [ bleep ] checking game i'm balling out on every level ♪ ♪ hear them haters talk but it's nothing you can tell them ♪ ♪ made a million got another million on my schedule ♪ no love for [ bleep ] breaking hearts ♪ ♪ no keys, push to start ♪ yeah, uh-huh ♪ you know what it is ♪ hey, everything i do, i do it big ♪ ♪ yeah, uh-huh, screaming that's nothing ♪ ♪ what i pulled off the lot, that's stunting ♪ ♪ repping my town when you see me you know everything ♪ ♪ black and yellow, black and

yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow ♪ ♪ i put it down from the whip to my diamonds ♪ ♪ i'm in black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow ♪ ♪ got a call from my jeweler ♪ this just in. and bitches love me cause i'm [ bleep ] with their best friends ♪ ♪ ♪ she a freak though ♪ so many rocks up i can't tell what the time is ♪ ♪ i got a pocket full of big faces ♪ ♪ throw it up 'cause everybody that i'm with taylor ♪ ♪ you know what it is ♪ everything i do i do it big ♪ yeah, uh-huh ♪ screaming that's nothing ♪ what i pulled off the lot that's stunting ♪ ♪ repping my town when you see me you know everything ♪ ♪ black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow ♪ ♪ i put it down from the whip to my diamonds ♪ ♪ black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, black

and yellow ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nicely done. wow, that's -- boy, they were all really good. >> yeah, they were all good. >> jimmy: do you have a sign language interpreter on stage with you? >> yeah. yeah. sometimes i get pretty stoned. i can't remember. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how do you -- what is the sign for marijuana? >> pretty universal. >> jimmy: all right. wiz, who do you think is our winner tonight? >> i want to pick all of them. can they all win? or is it -- >> jimmy: they all win. [ cheers and applause ] wiz khalifa, thank you, ladies. that was our first ever sign language -- probably our last ever sign language rap battle. we'll be right back with johnny depp. [ cheers and applause ]

>> portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by scotts e-z seed. grows anywhere! guaranteed! was it worshipped by an ancient civilization? it's real paco. [ man laughs, monkey screeches ] actually, we just ran out of buns. so... [ male announcer ] applebee's legendary quesadilla burger. an epic reason to see you tomorrow. i was thinking the same thing. well, maybe we can look it up on youtube. hmm, it can do that? yeah. my kindle can't get that app. well, what can it do? books. do more with over one millions apps on the galaxy pro tablet.

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show, you know her as mrs. don draper on "mad men," which starts its

seventh season this sunday night. jessica pare is here. and then his album "red beans and weiss" looks exactly like this. it comes out next week. chuck e. weiss from the at&t stage. tomorrow night -- oh, this will be fun. tomorrow night, the great tracy morgan will be here, as will kate mara, and we'll have music from birds of tokyo. and later this week seth macfarlane, kate upton, paul bettany, cole hauser, and music from sam smith and neon trees. our first guest tonight is a movie star admired around the world for his talent and his face. his latest film is called "transcendence." it opens in theaters april 18th. please welcome johnny depp. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ]

well, thank you for coming. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: they're excited. i'm excited. and i hate to start things off negatively or awkwardly. but last time you were here we kissed a few times. i felt like we really hit it off. >> right. >> jimmy: we had a few laughs together. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it really seemed like we had some chemistry. and then the next thing i know i hear you're engaged. and i get no call or -- not even a text. it's just -- it was rude is what it was. [ laughter ] to come in, to do that and then to just disappear. >> i know. >> jimmy: anything you want to say? >> yeah, i know, i know. i feel -- i feel bad about it. >> jimmy: you do feel bad about it.

[ laughter ] >> but i also feel like between you and i it's kind of an anything goes sort of thing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i like the way you think. >> you know what i mean? >> jimmy: so i'm not out, then. i'm still potentially in? >> oh, you're in. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's great. i'd love to go on the honeymoon with you. that would be a really terrific thing for all of us. >> i'll -- i'll ask around. >> jimmy: yeah. run that by her. you've been traveling all over the world this week, correct? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: where have you been? >> i don't know. [ laughter ] i don't know where i am now. >> jimmy: you're in california now. >> that's good. >> jimmy: you're safe. >> relatively. yeah. it was new york, las vegas for about 20 minutes. back to new york.

then los angeles. then china for about -- i don't know how long. and then back to new york. and now apparently i'm in los angeles. >> jimmy: yes, you are in los angeles. >> so yeah. >> jimmy: you need to talk to your travel agent because i feel like i could have gotten you -- you could have been on an easier route than going from china to new york back to los angeles, et cetera. >> some of those -- yeah, the lines and stuff. >> jimmy: and how does it work? when you travel. like do you pack your luggage? do you have -- >> i have a very -- i have a strong aversion to packing. >> jimmy: me too. who doesn't, really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: so you don't? >> i mean, we moved so much as a kid -- when i was a kid, we moved around. >> jimmy: oh. >> so it's kind of a traumatic thing. and unpacking as well. >> jimmy: and unpacking. which do you like least, packing or unpacking? >> both. >> jimmy: both are bad, yeah. >> but unpackingwise, i literally have suitcases and

bags that are still packed from like "edward scissor hands." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that have never been unpacked? >> no. "cry baby." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? they're by the front door? where do you put them? >> they're in storage. >> jimmy: they're in storage? >> these little time capsules. >> jimmy: yeah. that is kind of -- you should have an unpacking party sometime, see what the hell is going on. >> someday, yeah. >> jimmy: some of that stuff may come back in style. you know? >> possibly. >> jimmy: your toiletries are probably in there too. this is a disaster. what kind of a maniac would do something like this? >> i know. i long for that little bottle of old spice. [ laughter ] the high karate. i pine for it sometimes. >> jimmy: wow. how about that? how old are your children now? >> oh, my children -- my boy's just about to turn 12 in a couple of days here, and then my daughter's about to be 15. >> jimmy: are they like you were when you were their age?

>> in a way. i mean, they haven't had to dodge high-heeled shoes at high speed. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> or try and outstart your mom by running when she tries to hit you with the telephone because there's a cord attached. >> jimmy: yeah. these kids today with the iphones, they don't know what they're getting away from, i tell you. >> yeah. but no, i -- they've got some mischief in there, yeah. >> jimmy: were you a mischievous kid? >> yeah. pretty much. i was, yeah. >> jimmy: in what ways would you express that? >> i got caught -- i had this idea that i liked doing impersonations of people as a little kid. and so i would take a tape recorder and i would hide it and record people's conversations. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i did exactly that same thing. mostly to my uncle frank and aunt chippy.

>> i did it to my uncle who was a -- you know, like a hellfire and damnation baptist minister. mr >> jimmy: and what would you get him saying? >> changed the way i look at religion very abruptly when i heard the tape. >> jimmy: and then you'd try to memorize -- i still have an entire conversation between my uncle frank and aunt chippy memorized. because we just listened to it over and over again. it was so interesting. in a way that's probably how you started acting, is studying that. >> maybe, yeah. for some reason i did have that kind of -- and also i dug a tunnel in my back yard that led into my bedroom. so there was a -- i was working on a closet escape hatch. [ laughter ] digging under the house to get in -- you know. >> jimmy: your childhood was like "the shawshank redemption," it sounds like. [ laughter ] >> pretty much, yeah.

and funny enough, morgan freeman was there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that star's there just like us i guess. we'll take a break. when we come back we'll talk about your new movie "transcendence." morgan freeman is in that movie. johnny depp. we'll be right back. >> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. rethink possible. rough the day. so i was honest with my doctor. i told him i'd been feeling stuck for a long time. he said that for some people, an antidepressant alone only helps so much and suggested we add abilify (aripiprazole). he said that by taking both, some people had symptom improvement as early as 1 to 2 weeks. i wish i'd talked to my doctor sooner. [ female announcer ] abilify is not for everyone. call your doctor if your depression worsens or you have unusual changes in behavior, or thoughts of suicide. antidepressants can increase these in children, teens and young adults. elderly dementia patients taking abilify have an increased risk of death or stroke. call your doctor if you have high fever,

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active military personnel. >> this has gone too far. you have to stop it. >> there's no way. >> they are people. stop it.

>> there's no source code. they'll use it to build a fire. >> what are we doing? we can't fight them. >> we're not going to fight them. we're going to transcend them. >> jimmy: that is johnny depp in "transcendence." opens april 18th in theaters. [ applause ] you don't like watching yourself, i know. >> i do not, no. yeah, i find it very uncomfortable. >> jimmy: it's like a much bigger version of when people hear their voices recorded. like your uncle when he heard the tapes you recorded secretly. >> yeah. >> jimmy: played back. it's that terrible like oh, my god, that's what i sound like? >> indeed. >> jimmy: i saw the movie. i liked it a lot. what is the movie about? >> wow. >> jimmy: i know. i mean, i can explain but -- [ laughter ] i'm not really what they say in it. so i will leave that to you. >> well, the movie is basically

about -- he'll help me out here. >> jimmy: a guy. we'll start with that. you're the guy. >> it's about a guy and a gal. who are scientists. and their specialty is artificial intelligence. they create an amazingly powerful computer called pin. one thing leads to another. my character gets shot by some sort of radical, you know -- >> jimmy: guy. >> guy. [ laughter ] the bullet is poisoned. and i'm dying. so basically, she has to make a decision whether or not it's correct to upload my consciousness to it massive machine. you know, it's kind of that question, in a split second would you do it for your loved one? because the technology is very nearly there. >> yeah. it's probably going to happen. and we're all going to die. >> it's definitely going to happen.

[ laughter ] it's going to get weird. >> jimmy: it might be the other way. it might be that people have machines added to them rather than a person being added to the machine but -- what's going on? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> yes? >> jimmy: why do i feel like i just checked into prison and -- [ laughter ] >> you're about to get your salad tossed? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's an exciting feeling, isn't it? you're actually afraid of that little -- >> jimmy: no, no. i'm not afraid of that. i'll put that right on my lips right now. i don't care. you don't have any -- [ applause ] [ laughter ] it's bubble gum flavored.

[ laughter ] is there any on my face? >> better. >> jimmy: i didn't realize you were an artist. so what are we -- are we going to do this or -- i mean -- is this going to happen? >> it's been happening since i walked out here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: johnny depp, everyone. "transcendence" opens april 18th. we'll be back with jessica pare. ♪

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>> jimmy: still to come, music from chuck e. weiss. our next guest is so very talented she's able to convincingly pretend to be in love with the hideous-looking jon hamm on the emmy award-winning television show "mad men." season seven starts sunday night at 10:00 on amc. please welcome jessica pare. [ cheers and applause ] did i do a good job with your last name? >> perfectly. thank you so much. >> jimmy: pare. >> pare. >> jimmy: it's spilled p-a-r-e, which to most people would be pare. but it's not pare. >> well, to most people who speak english, i suppose. >> jimmy: yes. and you are french canadian? >> yeah. it's a french name. i'm from montreal. >> jimmy: i love montreal. they have great food in montreal. >> they do. they really do. >> jimmy: and you wouldn't think

like they'd have great bagels, for instance, but they have great bagels. >> amazing bagels. you guys have to try them. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: great smoked -- >> it's not a joke. the smoked meat, the bagels. >> jimmy: the poutine. >> yeah. >> jimmy: all the stuff that's great to eat in the middle of the night. what's that one? >> hot dogs. steame. >> jimmy: how do you spell that? >> s-t-e-m accent egu. >> jimmy: oh. you really are french canadian. >> but it's english. >> jimmy: i don't know what you said. but we do know hot dogs. we're very familiar with them. >> who doesn't like a hot dog? >> jimmy: we think of those as very american things. in fact, i think it's a little weird that you guys are secretly eating them up there. >> i think we eat more than you guys eat down here. we eat more ketchup -- >> jimmy: how dare you insinuate that you're eating more hot dogs

than we are? guillermo? >> no way. >> jimmy: thank you. >> no way. we eat more. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: guillermo alone eats more hot dogs than you. you can't eat hot dogs, right? >> well, now -- i mean, i grow up in quebec, where if you don't eat a piece of pig with a meal you haven't eaten a meal. so -- but now i'm vegetarian. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> and also allergic to wheat. i'm like the world's worst dinner guest. >> jimmy: have you always been allergic to wheat? >> it turns out i think so. i just used to break out a lot and -- >> jimmy: you did? >> then it turns out i stopped eating wheat and that didn't happen. >> jimmy: because when most people tell me they're allergic to wheat i feel like they're lying. i don't know why it is. or they're wrong. >> trust me. i k i -- >> jimmy: you think you're lying to yourself? >> then i go home and have a piece of bagel and break out for two weeks. >> jimmy: maybe you're allergic to bagels. is it possible you have a bagel allergy? >> it's possible. >> jimmy: so your body will break out in hives -- >> yeah.

my face. >> jimmy: you can't have bread at all? >> no. >> jimmy: you can't have spaghetti? >> i can have gluten free spaghetti. >> jimmy: that's not spaghetti. >> i know. i'm sorry. >> jimmy: i'm sorry for you. when did you move to l.a.? >> i've been here almost ten years. >> jimmy: almost ten years. was that a big adjustment for you coming from montreal? >> well, the biggest adjustment for me was i didn't drive. growing up in montreal there's a transit system and i rode my bike a lot but coming here you can't really do that. >> jimmy: did you have to take lessons and learn to drive? >> i did. i took lessons and my driving teacher yaungzer than me, which was -- >> jimmy: great. >> -- totally awkward. [ laughter ] it's so lame. >> jimmy: that is kind of weird. >> yeah. >> jimmy: are you sure there wasn't some confusion and maybe this kid thought he was being taught by you? [ laughter ] >> i'm pretty sure he knew which one of us didn't know how to drive. >> jimmy: i see. oh, boy. how old do you think this kid was? >> i know he was 21. >> jimmy: oh, my god. he must have been freaking out when you got in the car. >> i don't -- i don't know.

>> jimmy: yeah. he was. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so he taught you how to drive. how many lessons did you get? >> i think i got a package of 12. >> jimmy: a package of 12. then did you go take the driver's test or did they administer it there -- >> no. i had to go to the dmv and do the test. it's -- you can make like 15 mistakes on a driving test, which probably everybody knows. >> jimmy: i didn't know that. >> i made 14 mistakes. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> and the instructor was literally like you should not be driving. [ laughter ] you should not be on the road. but i have no legal recourse here. i just -- i can't not give you your license. i kind of feel like it's sort of a good thing for him to have said because i -- i'm super cautious now. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you listened to him. >> yeah. well, i'm canadian. >> jimmy: there you go, yeah. [ laughter ] we don't do that.

be like yes, i got it right under the wire. let's go do some donuts on the lawn. [ laughter ] the doan rutz good in montreal, also. >> i bet they are. >> jimmy: you can't eat donuts either. >> no. >> jimmy: wow. let's go through a list of things you can't eat. [ laughter ] now, the show "mad men" is very secretive. in fact, they don't even tell the cast what's going on. or at least that's what the cast tells me. maybe to get out of answering questions about it. but are you kept in the dark as far as the show goes? >> yeah, well, we know a little bit before the audience, obviously, because we shoot it. but we get the scripts a few days before we start shooting a new episode. and we don't know what's coming. so we are discovering it just like the audience is once it starts to air. >> jimmy: when you started on the show, did you know you would wind up being married to don draper? >> no. god, no. i thought i had three or four episodes on the show, and i was so excited because i was crashing on my friend's couch. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> i was really excited to have

just to have that. then i kept getting skld back to do episodes. there's one episode where my character kisses don draper. everybody was like oh, well, it was really nice to know you. >> jimmy: oh, because -- yeah. because he goes -- yeah. right. >> yeah. but then -- >> jimmy: but then what happened? you -- >> right. well, for anybody who doesn't know, spoiler alert -- >> jimmy: yeah. right. we did have one excited guy in here earlier. >> i don't want to run into that guy. seems like he was escorted out. but so it's -- the end of season 4 my character gets married, or engaged to don draper. and i didn't know that that was happening. the week before we shot that our props master came in to my dressing room and she said, now, i don't know how to do this without letting you know this plotline, but i can't talk about it, so please don't ask me any

questions. i need to measure your ring finger. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> and i was like, yes! >> jimmy: it's like the propmaster proposed to you. [ laughter ] and you accepted. >> if she had gotten down on one knee it could not have been any more -- >> jimmy: wow. imagine if that week you pick up the script and you realize they're chopping one of your fingers off or something. [ laughter ] that would be a horrible surprise. >> i know. well, as soon as she left, i was like you don't know that that's going to happen. you could die. >> jimmy: wow. that's something else. and it's funny because it really isn't necessary because most guys have no idea what the ring size of their fiance is in the first place and you usually bring a comically large ring and you have to get it sized and you never get any money back for the ring being made smaller. isn't that a weird thing? >> you learn something new. >> yeah. well, you know, the bagels, the

ring, we've learned a lot of stuff here tonight. >> all the things i can't eat. >> jimmy: well, first, congratulations on your marriage to don. [ applause ] and sticking it out on one of the best shows ever. >> thanks. >> jimmy: thank you for being here. jessica pare, everyone. the new season of "mad men" begins sunday night at 10:00 on amc. we'll be right back with chuck e. weiss. ♪ >> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. rethink possible.

the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. rethink possible. >> jimmy: i want to thank johnny depp. i want to thank jessica pare. i want to thank wiz khalifa and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. "nightline" is next. but first, this is his album "red beans and weiss." it comes out april 15th. here with the song "boston blackie," chuck e. weiss! ♪

♪ he's a rotten apple no one likes 'cause he will steal from the blind ♪ ♪ she a dirty little sociopath that never cleaned her big behind ♪ ♪ he just got out of angola a stretch he didn't commit ♪ ♪ she was involved with a certain kind of lovee ♪ ♪ you know that superficial twit ♪ ♪ well i'm just like boston blackie yes i am ♪ ♪ well i'm just like boston blackie yes i am ♪ ♪ friends to those who have no friends friends to those who have no friends ♪ ♪ he's a sorry sad sad sucker that is looking for an easy way out ♪

♪ she a forty-four-year-old teenie bopper that has sadly lost a good looks bout ♪ ♪ he's a big crazy man that follows me from work every day she's a very loose ♪ ♪ floosie girlie that has trouble givin' it away ♪ ♪ just like boston blackie yes i am ♪ ♪ well i'm just like boston blackie yes i am well i'm just like boston blackie yes i am ♪ ♪ friends to those who have no friends friends to those who have no friends ♪ ♪ freddie eddie mary sara barry larry harry carry tom ron don john ♪ ♪ they come on by and they stay too long they come on by and they stay too long ♪

♪ ♪ just like boston blackie yes i am well i'm just like boston blackie yes i am ♪ ♪ friends to those who have no friends friends to those who have no friends ♪ ♪ johnny ronnie tommy lonnie bonny donny connie mommy jimmy chrissy ♪ ♪ tom, ron, don ♪ they come on by and stay too long ♪ ♪ they come on by and they stay too long ♪

♪ they come on by ♪ and they stay too long [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪

this is "nightline." tonight, breaking his silence. blade runner oscar pistorius on trial for the murder of his girlfriend finally takes the stand. >> i have terrible nightmares. >> but is it sorrow or strategy? body war battle. on one side the fit mom of three who asks what's your excuse? >> don't worry, i'm not apologizing. >> on the other, mothers who say she's fat-shaming. now we bring them face to face. and royal welcome. prince william and duchess kate on a tour down under. but it may be george everyone's swooning over on his first official business trip. but firs